#and that sora always loved him even at his worst

[coffeemira]

need an age regression/de-aging fic where a post-KH4 riku has to take care of a younger sora, and bb sora is just completely awestruck over how strong and kind and pretty (and tall!!) his best friend riku got… and is so transparently smitten that riku, who is actually dating present-day sora, is just like: wow we really were oblivious how did either of us miss sora’s glaring crush on me??

[joonsytip]

Only for Love || Mingyu - Epilogue

Pairings: Mingyu x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Husband!Mingyu, Cold Wife!Reader, Arranged Marriage au, Contract Marriage au, Divorce au

Synopsis: When an accidental discovery has your perception of happy married life crumbling down, you do what you think is the best for everyone involved. Naturally, your opinion of the best doesn't cater to your husband's. So what happens when things spiral out due to unforeseen events?

Warnings: divorce, reader is pregnant and having it hard, emotional baggage, tears and profanities, mentions of throwing up, morning sickness, lot of banter.

Word Count: 7.8k

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Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue

Mingyu didn't get a wink of sleep, neither did you. It's something given.

What's not given for him is the way you're waiting for him with the luggage by the door.

"No...", Mingyu says to himself, as he eyes the bags and then takes a look at your face. He then scurries off to the guestroom only to find all your belongings gone. He goes to the bedroom and same, the house has no traces of you left.

And once you leave, no one would be able to tell if you were ever here, not even Mingyu himself.

He comes back, devasted.

"Please, don't leave.", he pleads, his voice coming out in cracks, "Not when I have so many things to tell you, so much to confess."

You bite your tongue and while trying to maintain the poker facade, you say, "I'll sum it up for you. Our marriage is based on a contract between you and my uncle. And even after over 2 years of the marriage, you find it difficult to be with me because I'm..", you suck in a deep breath, "not Sora. I'm not like her."

Mingyu looks at you with tears in his eyes, wanting to retort everything you're saying but he knows nothing he says would make you believe him. After all, trust has been compromised.

"And I'll never be her, Mingyu.", you say, your voice giving out the dejection, "So I'm freeing you from this marriage. We'll get divorced. You can be with whoever you want. And I will lead my life as how it was supposed to be."

"How was your life supposed to be?", Mingyu asks, his heart thumping as he close the gap between you two.

"Alone.", you answer him, unwavering.

"God, no", he holds you gently, "You belong with me, Y/N. I known I have been dishonest with you when you had clearly warned me beforehand. And I know I've hurt you so much over the span of our marriage but please believe me when I say that I'd not do it with anyone else, it'll be always you."

His gaze tears the shield that you have guarded yourself with, your grip on the trolley loosens for a moment.

And before you give in, you brace yourself.

"We're done talking, Mingyu. I'll have my lawyer set a date with you and yours.", you say removing his hands, "As I said, you can have everything you want--"

"But all I want is you, Y/N."

Your heart beats erratically in your chest. Your senses start to behave abnormally and your mind almost discards the rationalities. But you know you couldn't afford all these, that for him to be well, you'd have to let go.

"Except me, anything you want.", you say in a strained voice, your hands itching to wipe those tears from his face, "I know you're ambitious so that's why I don't think our divorce would weigh much on you. If you respect and value the time we spent together, for the sake of those, divorce me. I beg you, I want nothing else."

And Mingyu stands exactly where you have left him. It's a been a week and he's miserable.

His parents are not in talking terms with him, the moment they knew about the contract which is leading to the divorce.

And Minhee, she's has been taking the worst hit. And now, she understands if you never want to see her again after what her brother has done. But doesn't mean, it'd hurt less.

Unlike her brother, she was not popular with people. Majority approached her just get a whimp of her brother and that's why she had trust issues, leading her to be cautious of people. She does have genuine friends she's close with but you, you are different.

Minhee admires you, proudly calls you her family and loves you because she has noticed it all. How you have accommodated yourself and been a part of the family. Not big with words but bigger with actions. And maybe Mingyu can be dumb but the entire family knows that you love him, it's so painfully obvious.

"Hey", a soft voice breaks her reverie. She turns to look and finds Soonyoung.

"I don't want to see you.", she tells him, "So leave."

Soonyoung sighs, "But you're upset and I can't see you like this--"

"Why do you care suddenly?", she glares at him, "Look, I don't like you anymore okay? I can't believe you all knew about that contract but didn't stop him. What kind of friends are you?"

Soonyoung just sits, head down and listens to her reparimend him. At least, he gets to see her.

"What do you want?", you ask, checking your watch. There's an unfamiliarity in your tone.

"Can you please reconsider and withdraw the petition?", Jeonghan asks politely.

"No.", you flatly deny.

He runs his hand through his hair in frustration, which is rare.

"Mingyu is not doing well, Y/N. He has shut out everyone.", he says, "That day, Sora took Mingyu with her to visit me because she thought I'd not meet her if she comes. And it was totally work, nothing else Y/N. Mingyu doesn't have feelings for Sora, he likes--"

You raise your palm up and Jeonghan shuts up. There's nothing much to say, not anymore. So you just give him an ultimatum before leaving.

The day comes fast and hits harder. Mingyu sits frozen with the pen in his hands, his vision dazed, mind blank. It's happening and it's a matter of time then you'd be denounced as husband and wife.

As you sit in front of him, you can't help but notice Mingyu's state. You can tell he's been having it hard, he looks lost. He hasn't spoken except when urged since he arrived, he seems like an entirely different person.

Mingyu can't bring himself to sign the papers. He can't bear to look at you. And since the universe have decided to bite him back with karma, he does it.

A single drop of tear wets the paper, just below the line where he signs his name.

The formalities are done and it's official. Though there's a cool off period both sides know that it's of no use.

Your lawyer leads the way out, solemnly announcing the outcome of the meeting.

"Y/N", Mingyu calls and you dismiss your lawyer waiting for him to catch up.

There's a devastatingly sad smile on his tear stained face and your breaks at the sight of him.

"So it's ends here.", Mingyu says trying to hide the quiver in his voice, "I'm sorry for everything, Y/N. I have been a failure and I can't do anything to fix it. But I wish you healing and a peaceful life ahead."

He quickly wipes the tears and continues hesitantly, "If ever my name comes to your mind, please contact me. I'd come if you want help in something minimal, I'd listen if you wanna curse me out. Be it anything, all you have to do is drop a text or call me and I'll come to you. We can't be friends but I'd like to just pretend."

You don't think you can hold your tears anymore so you let them fall. Mingyu is surprised and his hands almost touches your face in worry but he remembers that it's not his place anymore.

"Live well, Mingyu.", you tell him, "Take care of mom, dad--", rectifying it quickly, you continue, "aunt, uncle and Minhee. We all mistakes, make sure to learn from them and treat others rightfully."

Mingyu understands the weight behind your words. Times seems to have frozen as none of you make a move.

You take the initiative to break the reverie. Because even if Mingyu thinks it's the end but you know you'd have to see him again.

"The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?", you smile through your tears, looking up at the sky then back at him.

And just as you predicted, Mingyu doesn't get the meaning of your words because he's distracted and you're relieved.

Your apartment still feels foreign. It shouldn't be as you've lived here for most of your life and now you are sitting alone, lost in the thoughts.

Whenever there is too much on your plate, you'd call your uncle. Just listening to his voice soothes you so you quickly fish out your phone. But just as your thumb hovers over the call button, tears stream down because you remember that you won't be able to hear his voice ever again.

You've started showing a little since the second trimester has started and you are thinking of ways to tell Mingyu, scared at wits remembering how everything went down everytime you've tried to let him know.

But you know you've to let Mingyu know about the baby and it has to be soon.

Stress is eating at you and nausea has become your best friend. Morning sickness loves you and you can barely eat any food without throwing out. Minghao has been attentive, trying his best to help you out but there's a limit to he can do.

You are not feeling particularly well today while you're at work. For some reason your chest feels like vacuuming out, your head spins a little.

You have been doing great at hiding the uneasiness until you're addressing the people about some requirements in the character design involving all the teams and your legs gives up. Your vision spars and suddenly your eyes shut, causing you to loose consciousness.

Minghao lurches forward, catching you in time saving you from the impact of fall. He doesn't waste any time picking you up and rushing to the hospital, himself being drained out in fear.

Soonyoung immediately follows and while he drives behind, he makes a bunch of calls.

The lights from the ceiling are blinding enough to cause irritation even if your eyes are closed. There are murmurs at the backdrop but they're low not quite reaching your ears. Your left hand feels heavy, you think there's a weight on your stomach.

You squeeze at whatever was enclosing your hand and a very familiar voice calls out your name. But you can't figure out who it is. There are repeatative calls but your eyes are so heavy that you're finding it difficult to open them.

You feel a touch on your cheek, a soothing rubbing of thumb on it and you're able to open your eyes finally.

And you came across his face. Eyes red, lashes wet and hurt etched on features. His eyes are fixated on your face.

"Mingyu", you say grabbing his hand, "Where am I?"

Mingyu sighs in relief and kisses your forehead, his lips lingering on your skin as he speaks, "You're in the hospital. How are you feeling?"

"What happened to me? Why am I feeling so tired and sleepy?", you ask, as you hold his face, rubbing your thumb against his cheek gently, "Take me home and hold me to sleep please."

Mingyu worries at your state but he knows that it's an after effect of concussion and you'll be back to normal after some time.

"Is the baby fine?", you ask with a quiver in your voice.

Mingyu's eyes water with tears again at the mention and he backs away for a moment wiping those. He takes deep breathes and returns by your side.

Gently, caressing your bump he answers, "The baby is fine."

"Don't tell uncle that I'm here, he'd be worried.", you say and his heart breaks.

He nods at you wordlessly, choking back his sobs.

There's a smile on your face, "I can't keep my eyes open."

"Rest well.", he says, stroking your head, "I'll be here when you wake up."

"How's she?", Minhee asks as soon as Mingyu steps out of the room.

"She just woke up.", he informs, "She's suffering from concussion. She was asking for her uncle."

Mingyu's steps stumble as he seats on a chair. When he received the call from Soonyoung, he rushed to the hospital only to see you lying unconscious on the hospital bed.

And on asking the doctor, the first thing he discovers is that you're four months along in pregnancy. As the timeline aligns, it kills him to belatedly know that you dealt with your uncle's death, the divorce all by yourself being pregnant.

"Why didn't she tell me?", Mingyu ponders out loud, tugging on his hair forcefully.

"Maybe she was waiting--", Junhui is cut off.

"She had tried to tell you three times in exact.", Minghao pitches in, his voice stern and accusatory, "The first time, at the office event but you decided that going somewhere with ex-girlfriend was more important."

"You should tone it down. It's not what you're thinking.", Jeonghan chimes in his friend's defence.

"Oh I'm not talking to you.", Minghao glares at him, "And I know what is what and not."

His gaze directs back at Mingyu, "The second time was when she returned home only to find you bitching about her to these guys over here.", he gestures at group standing scattered in the area, "She was nervous about how to crack the news to you, that was the only reason she returned."

Mingyu sits frozen in place as Minghao hammers the nail on his heart one by one.

The final blow punctuates brutal and hard, when Minghao says, "The third time was", he pauses for a moment before continuing, "The day uncle died. If you remember, she had asked you come home earlier, it was because she wanted to tell about the pregnancy."

"She must have been so scared. It must have been so hard for her.", Minhee whispers, choking on tears, "We have been so ignorant. We don't deserve her."

Soonyoung runs to her side but Minhee steps away from him, drawing a line.

Minghao nods solemnly, "Even after that she tried but her mind succumbed to the thought that something bad would happen again if she reveals about the pregnancy. She is indeed scared."

Hansol walks up to him and pleads, "Tell us if there's anything we could do. I don't care, be it anything, please."

Minghao scoffs, "You should have done something when your friend was going to marry her because of a contract which she wasn't even aware about.", he jabs his finger at his chest, "you should have knocked senses into your stupid friend when he chose his ex-girlfriend.", another jab, "you should have fought back when he was bitching about his own wife."

He sweeps his sharp gaze across the faces, "You could have done a lot of significant things but you chose not to and now there's nothing left to salvage."

"You're right.", Seokmin resorts to resignation, "We, as a bunch are awful. All of us."

Minghao is all riled up with pent up frustration of months bouncing off, he walks over to Mingyu grabbing his collar and pulling him up on his feet. When others try to pull them apart, Mingyu shakes his head, a sign asking them not to interfere. His head bowed down throughout.

His voice drips with venom when Minghao says, "How could you say that she didn't change? How could you not know how bad her morning sickness is? Why did she have to deal with everything and suffer alone while you lived with her?"

Minghao has so much to say, so much to let Mingyu know but he cannot. He doesn't have the right to do so.

He grabs the collar tighter, with much force, enough to draw lines of abrasion on the later's neck, "Don't think she's alone. She has me, she'll always have me. And you must have heard the rumours going around since you have a spy at our office.", he says looking at Soonyoung and back at him, "I'll tell you the truth. I love Y/N."

All pair of eyes widen at the declaration, even Mingyu's. Minghao's eyes are teary as he speaks his heart out, "I will always love her. Even if she never reciprocates, my feelings for her won't change."

Mingyu's parents who have been listening to the conversation, without announcing their presence decide not to interfere.

Later when you woke up, you didn't let anyone else meet you apart from Minghao who also completes the formalities for your discharge.

But when Mingyu almost barges in, you tell him to visit your apartment the next day if wants to talk. He simply obliges.

"I have tried to tell you about the pregnancy--"

Mingyu shakes his head, he doesn't meet your gaze, "I know now and that's what matters."

You scrutinize and everything about him screams that he is not doing well. Physically evident, mentally also as his body language gives it out.

"This wasn't planned and I'm keeping it so if you don't want to be a part of it, this will be the last time we're meeting--"

You don't get to finish the sentence as Mingyu lunges forward and kneels at your feet.

"I was a bad husband and I understand if you don't have any trust left in me. But we made it, Y/N. Of course I'll be there through the rest of the pregnancy and after that. We'll raise the baby, our baby.", he tries to convey his sincerity through his words, "I failed to be a good husband but I promise I'll try to be a good father."

"I'm sorry, you had to find out this way.", you say, your hands finding its way to wipe the tears that stained his cheeks.

You have been awfully swayed, your emotions are a mess and you can't mask your real emotions anymore. Pregnancy hormones are being tough on you and what you're scared the most about is letting yourself loose in Mingyu's presence. Something you cannot afford.

Mingyu is also quick to catch the changes in your demeanor. He knows you're being vulnerable and you'll be trying your best to conceal it but he makes a promise to himself that he'll protect you, take care of you. Even if you push him away, he won't scurry away this time.

Another episode of Mingyu's crying happens when you show him the sonograms from all the previous checkups and he carefully pockets the copies you give him, promising to accompany you for the checkups, memorizing the dates by heart from your calendar.

"What have you been eating?", he asks, padding into the kitchen. You follow him.

Concern grasps at him on hearing that you cook for yourself now and Minghao sometimes bring in his cooked food but you throw up more than you can eat. You tell him that you've been having trouble sleeping which caused the fatigue.

"I'll cook for you from now on.", he says determined.

"I appreciate it but you don't have to do it. It'll be a hassle--"

Mingyu dismisses you as he scans through the kitchen and makes the notes of the groceries that needed restocking, "My hassle, I'll handle it. Anyway, I used to cook for us."

"That's what.", you interject, "You used to. We're divorced now."

Mingyu freezes at the mention of divorce but quickly regains his composure, "I'm doing this for our baby. You can't tell me otherwise, I'm sorry but expect to see me a lot more from now on. And though I know it would make no sense to you but you can rely me."

You don't respond to that rather making a lame excuse, walking back to the bedroom.

Since then, it's been a rollercoaster ride for the both of you.

Whenever you try to draw a line, Mingyu erases it before it could even take a prominent shape.

"No, you don't have to drive me to work everyday.", you say sternly, "I can drive and if not Minghao can take me with him. He does that sometimes."

It's wrong of him to get jealous but when has the heart ever sided with him, "Minghao lives in the opposite direction, Y/N. It'll save all of us time and effort if you let me drive you."

"You also live in the opposite direction.", you snide, "Don't try to outsmart me."

Mingyu smiles sheepishly, "Anyways, I have to drop by to give you the lunchboxes. Now on, I'll just come early and cook here itself. My office starts later than yours so it's fine."

And no matter what you couldn't win over him. Hence, he now knows the passcode of your apartment.

"You're not allowed to barge in anytime without my permission. Always drop a text if you're coming. Don't misuse the privilege.", came your strict instruction with those 4 digits.

As another month passes by, your cravings start to get weirder. The urges always are to have something which you think no sane person would ever think about eating. And the timings, well random, no patterns.

Mingyu's heart drops when he's cooking one morning and you emerge from your room with a big patch pasted on your forehead.

He rushes to your side but you pretend to not notice him, roaming around the house aimlessly. And after a lot of tailing, Mingyu finally corners you.

The proximity almost makes you go berserk. His smell overpowers you causing you to nudge him to widen the gap.

"Lately, my cravings have been you know....", you trail off embarrassed, "It always hits at dawn hours."

Mingyu listens to you with utmost attention.

"I was craving candied pickles and I didn't have them at home so I went to the convenience store at 4 am."

You hush him when Mingyu opens his mouth, wide eyed, jaw dropped.

"I couldn't find the car keys and it was only there blocks down so I walked there and on the way back, I bumped onto a pole. It was dark, I missed it.", you whine rubbing your face in embarrassment and wincing when you accidentally rub on the cut.

It's a reminder to Mingyu of how you have been having it difficult and a string of regrets  making him ponder that if the divorce didn't happen he could have been doing all of it for you, without having asked to.

He grabs your face, making you look at him, "From next time onwards, please call me, no matter what time. I'll bring you what you're craving. It's not safe alone out there, more when you're pregnant."

And he knows that even though you'd agree on his face but you'd never bother him out at odd timings. Scratch that, he wants you to contact him even for the simplest things but you don't. Every time his phone pops up a notification he wishes that it's you. But that never happens.

So one night when your cravings got to your head and you decided to make a quick round to the store, your heart leaped out of the chest on opening the door.

It's Mingyu, sitting by the threshold, well sleeping against the door. As the door opened his body fell inside, waking him up as the result of the impact.

You quickly stand him up on his feet and take him inside.

"What are you doing here?", you ask him flabbergasted, "Why were you sleeping at the door when you know the passcode?"

Mingyu, still groggy, answers, "You told me to not enter your house without informing you. And I didn't want you to go out alone."

Your heart twinges at his words. You should be having emotional turmoil but something unexpected is happening and you absolutely hate it. The cravings for food have suddenly subsided and now you're craving for something else.

Rather someone else. You're suddenly craving for your ex-husband.

How can he look so tempting, wearing just a simple t-shirt and trackpant while being sleepy. Blame it on the hormones and those r-rated scenes in the movie that you watched this afternoon.

"Don't pull something like this again.", you say, rubbing your neck, "Just punch the code and get in, anytime."

And Mingyu is left confused when you maneuver him to the other room asking him to sleep there before rushing into your bedroom because another moment he is in your vicinity, your control would snap.

Domesticity comes handy with Mingyu. He is the kind of person who could effortlessly blend into your life under any circumstances.

So one day when you stand oogling your shoes wrack with doe eyes and curled down lips, Mingyu comes searching for you.

"What did those shoes do so bad to make you upset?", he asks with a hint of humour in his voice.

You huff before craning your neck to look at him. You pull him beside and point at the topmost shelf saying, "Those are my favourite pair of stilettoes, it's been so long I've worn them. And that pair of ruby scarpin, I can hear them calling my name."

Mingyu knows about your admiration of heels which explains the huge collection you've accumulated. Staying with you, has also made him accustomed to the clacking of heels whenever you walked swiftly wearing them.

So he understands that pregnancy doesn't actually leverage you from wearing heels, but you don't wear them just to maintain safety and avoid prolonged effects.

He takes your hands with a mischievous smile, "Wanna experience the feeling of wearing them?"

"You know I can't."

He hushes you, pulling you closer. He gestures you to slip out of the sliders and straightens himself, "Hop on my feet."

You look at him confused, "You'll get hurt, plus even if I try my belly won't allow me to do so."

"Just trust me, okay?", Mingyu says coaxing you and you do give in.

As you can't see the ground beneath your belly, Mingyu guides you and as soon as your feet are on his, he adjusts them making sure that both of your heels are in the air. Once making sure of the position, he places your hands on his shoulders and secures his tightly around your waist.

He starts walking around the house with you.

"See, same same.", he grins, pecking your forehead.

You laugh, lolling your head back, "Getting creative now, are we Mr. Kim? I'll give you points for the height."

Mingyu swears that he'd walk you this all the time, that your feet won't touch the ground even for a second if you want.

One day, he accidentally discovers that phoenix_726 is actually you when he wanted to play a game but it's been so long that he has forgotten his credentials so he decides to play using your account.

"I thought you're a man!"

"I used voice modulator with my headset because creeps started hitting on me as soon as they I'm a female."

"I can't believe, we've talking to each other, played along so long without knowing the real identity."

"Remember, I'm a much better player than you, Kim Mingyu."

"You wish, Y/N. I'm obviously better."

That debate never ended.

This isn't supposed to happen. You stand by the kitchen counter, watching a very familiar scene unfold in front of you.

"I can see the gears turning, you know?", Minghao says as he stands beside you.

"How did I agree upon this?", you sigh, "What's wrong with me, this isn't supposed to happen."

His features soften, "Because though you were able to hide your emotions previously, now you couldn't do that anymore. They are here because you've missed them, it's because you love them and want to spend time with them."

You know he's speaking the truth. And your eyes tear as the words hit you. Minghao pats your back when he sees you wiping your eyes frantically hoping for no one to see you like this.

"Thanks for letting us meet you.", Minhee smiles as you both sit and enjoy the company, "I missed you."

"Me too, Minhee.", you look at her, returning that smile. You turn only to find Junhui humouring Minghao, the latter actually smiling at the antics which is rare. Seokmin and Jeonghan are seemingly scolding Soonyoung. And Hansol is talking about something real serious with Mingyu's parents.

And your breath hitches when your gaze locks with Mingyu, he has been looking at you the whole time.

"He misses you the most.", Minhee says, "But he's been happy now, keeps yapping about how he gets to see you everyday. Goes on for hours about how much more beautiful you've gotten, the pregnancy looks great on you. Cries every time, he realises you two aren't together and it's because of him."

You turn back to look at her, shaking your head. It's overwhelming.

You had a good time. Minghao gained new friends and Mingyu stayed back while everyone else left. It's because he knows you too well. He has noticed you caressing your protruding belly more than usual.

"It's just the usual spasms.", you tell him when he asks repeatedly, "Maybe because I moved around way too much today."

"I'm taking you to the doctor, tomorrow.", Mingyu says, "No objections. But for now, what can I do to make you feel better?"

"There's nothing to do, Mingyu. It'll go away."

Mingyu nods just to go back and hug you from behind. You freeze at the sudden action. His hands snake down from your waist as he gently tries to hold up the weight of your belly. And it's somehow soothing. He dips his nose on your nape to inhale your scent and you subconsciously lean back on him.

That night when you have trouble sleeping again, Mingyu spends it reading the books on parenting devotedly until you fall asleep in his arms, on the couch. But you wake up on the bed the next morning.

"What does this mean, anyone knows?", Soonyoung asks as the guys hang out.

Mingyu is involuntarily present as Minhee kicks him out of your apartment, declaring girls day. He has been sulking since then.

"The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?", Soonyoung adds, "This."

The phrase rings in Mingyu's ear as he tries to figure out its familiarity.

"Who said that to you?", Seokmin asks amused.

Soonyoung gulps, he can't reveal that Minhee had said it to him so he brushes it off.

Seokmin cocks his brows but tells nonetheless, "When someone says this, it's a way of them telling you that they love you, but they're letting you go."

Soonyoung freezes and so does Mingyu.

Seokmin looks at both of them lost while Hansol quickly catches on.

"By any chance, did Y/N say that to you?, Hansol asks and before Mingyu could answer Jeonghan stirs up.

"She did.", he confirms, "On the day they got divorced. I was there and heard it as well. Thought it was unusual of her to say something like that given the situation. But it makes sense now."

Junhui gasps, "Oh my god", he slaps his hand covering his mouth in shock, "She loves you, goddamn it. She loves you!"

Mingyu sits frozen. His mind is empty, no thoughts at all.

"Min?", Seokmin tries to shake his friend out of the trance.

"Gyu", Jeonghan calls calmly, "There's something I have been meaning to ask you for some time."

And when he does so, Mingyu does show a minimal movement. And of a sudden his empty mind from before starts filling up with all sorts of thoughts. His head and heart teams up to concierge him.

Mingyu looks at him robotically.

"You had kept the contract papers in the locker right? Did you even tell Y/N the passcode?", he asks.

Mingyu shakes his head, "No. She doesn't know."

"Then how did she get the papers? Did you check the locker again?", Hansol asks further.

"All she said was that she got the papers from my office. And while in the hassle, it didn't occur in my mind to check the locker again.", Mingyu answers.

"If my hunch is right, then I'm guessing it's a lie.", Jeonghan says, "I think she already knew about the contract, sometime after the marriage."

"How did she know? Her uncle never wanted her to know so he wouldn't tell her.", Junhui asks, "And even if she knew then why did she use it to get a divorce?"

"Only Y/N has the answer to these questions.", Jeonghan says, "Gyu, just go and check the locker and if you find your copy of the contract papers then just go and confront her. I'm sure she has her reasons so know them and see if there's a chance of reconciliation."

You notice that Mingyu has been acting quite out of character for the past few days. He seems like lost in thought. There's something different about the way he looks at you now.

The day before when you both went out to buy clothes and stuff for the baby, unlike other times he remained absent minded. You chose not to bother him.

But as the pregnancy progressed towards the end of the last trimester, it has been giving you one kind of hell. You are pretty much lost without Mingyu, feeling like a liability who's useless without him. Your emotions are a mess and you're always tired.

Mingyu wishes he could do anything to soothe your pain. He cries in the bathroom at nights when he hears your groans and sees those tears streaming down your eyes. There's another turmoil that's whirlwinding inside him, he has so many questions he wants answer of but he couldn't, just didn't wanna cause of any more of stress.

After a lot of negotiation and convincing, Mingyu now gets to hold you to sleep. His warmth visibly helps you to sleep better. What's bothering him is how you tremble in your sleep at night, there's always some incoherent murmuring before you are crying which prompts him to wake you up in the middle of night. And no matter how many times he asks, you never utter words about those reoccurring nightmares.

One night when Mingyu instinctively wakes up just to check on you, he finds you looking at him. His heart drops when he finds you sobbing.

"Gyu", you caress his cheeks, "there's something I want to tell you."

Mingyu holds your hand that lays on his face, giving a nod.

You lean in, faces merely an inch apart, "I love you."

You feel him go stiff under your touch. But he doesn't look at you as if you've grown another head rather there's calamity in his features.

"I'd have regretted if I didn't say it to you.", you admit, "There's a favour I want from you."

"What is it?"

"If there's a situation comes while I give birth", you voice quivers, "where you could save either me or the baby. Choose to save the baby, please."

Mingyu can't believe what he's hearing. He can't fathom loosing either of you.

"Where is this coming from?", he croaks as his hand ascends to protectively rub your belly.

"I have been dreaming of banshee, everynight. It signifies that someone would die in the family. I don't have anyone else from the baby so please promise me you'll protect our baby."

Mingyu pulls you closer, trying to keep his tears at bay, "Nothing such will happen. You both will be safe and healthy. I'll protect you both."

There's a moment of silence before Mingyu decides to speak up, "I found the copies of the contract in the locker. You never got those in hand. Since when did you know about it and why did you lie?"

You knew he was bound to find out someday so you decide to come clean because it's suffocating to keep everything within yourself for such a long time.

"That was the copy uncle had. I found out about the contract after a year since we got married. Came across the papers accidentally in uncle's office while I was visiting and confronted uncle. He confessed everything and I felt so betrayed.", you look up at him, "But I couldn't even think about leaving you. That's when I realised that I had fallen in love with you."

You press your finger on his lips when Mingyu tries to speak.

"But I also knew that you weren't over Sora, your social media still had all your pictures with her. It made me think if we should go through this marriage. My fault, I just couldn't let you go, I wanted to believe that you'd eventually come to me. Can you blame me though? You are my first love, of course I was being stupid and pathetic."

You laugh through your tears and it cracks his heart. Mingyu is rendered speechless by now.

"Then I decided to forget about everything because I thought we were making progress. Well, atleast I thought that we're happily married, alongside hoping that you'd fall for me. More confident because the pregnancy came along. It wouldn't be really hard to develop feelings for the mother of your child right? That's what I pondered over every night. But then a string of incidents happened."

Your voice tones down flat, the sadness returning in it, "When Sora came back, I knew you were just helping her. But I was just afraid because I can fight all the people who want you but I can't fight that one person whom you want. Sora was your first love after all."

You shift, creating a tiny space between you and him, "I wasn't mad at you when I heard you saying those things about me to the guys. Your mind was clouded, your first love had returned, now wanting you back where on the contrary you were married to someone whom you didn't love. I know it all came out because you knew you'd never fall in love with me and it's because I wasn't exactly the wife material. You couldn't think of ending the marriage because a lot was at stakes, yes, the contract, it ends with the end of the marriage."

"But still I chose to be selfish because of the baby and thought of working our marriage. Then my uncle died.", you shudder, recoiling, "And that was the last straw or you can say the indication I needed. I realised that I'm cursed. People around me or associated with me keep dying. So it's better to cut off the ties. I brought up the divorce using the contract papers because that was only way to protect you. Losing you as a husband is far better than losing you entirely."

Mingyu exhales sharply. If he felt like a jerk before, he feels absolutely trash after your confession. The man who had always taken pride in himself for being perceptive and empathetic, termed as their ideal type by many has his pride crumbled down, been to put to place.

He's simply a buffoon who couldn't even understand his wife. Just because you are not verbal, doesn't mean that you don't care. You cared more than anyone else, selfless enough to let go just to protect your love.

In a world where all these people think love's for show, you are the type to die for your beloved in secret.

"Mingyu", your voice pulls him out of the reverie. Mingyu thinks you've enchanted him, otherwise how could it make sense that you're glowing under the moonlight that's peeking in through the windows. Your smile melts him into a puddle, you're looking so divine.

When his gaze locks on yours, you say, "Stop feeling bad. It's not your fault, feelings can't be controlled. And people do go through unhappy marriages and opt for separation. It's quite normal. Also, you don't have to go beyond your capacity to accomodate me. I know you feel and are responsible for the baby but it's okay. Co-parenting is surely difficult but we will make it work. Don't miss out on love and life because you feel guilty towards your ex-wife. I'll be fine."

Mingyu has enough. He gently pushes you on your back and suddenly grabs both of your hands and pins them above your head. He hovers over you, careful of your belly and says, "You're doing awfully bad for someone who has such great perceptive skills."

Then he proceeds to rest his forehead onto yours. Your eyes widen and you try to free your hands but your strength is nothing as compared to his.

"Please, please kiss me or I'll go insane.", Mingyu whispers against your lips, freeing your hands.

"We shouldn't be doing this.", comes your meek response.

"And what if I say that I love you?", Mingyu nudges your nose with his, kissing your chin.

"Don't say something you'd regret later.", you say inhaling sharply.

"I'd regret if I don't confess now. I have already made a lot of mistakes, I can't afford to make any more."

He kisses your forehead, "I admire you in all the aspects. The way you're managing work and life while carrying a life inside you, amazes me."

Kissing on top of your eyes, he says, "I know you're independent and efficient but you can lean on me when things get rough."

He smiles as he kisses your cheeks, "You're so beautiful. You were a different kind of beautiful before the pregnancy, your beauty is unfathomable now and you will still be aphrodisiac post pregnancy."

Another kiss on your nose, "You're gaming skills are better than mine. But we conquer more when we're teaming up. So please take me in. I promise I won't let you down."

"I love you.", you shudder when his lips ghost over yours, "And I'm not confessing on just some whim or impulse. I mean it and I'll do anything to earn your trust. Even if it takes the lifetime I'll spend it making up to you."

He then waits patiently.

"I'm not responsible for my actions, the hormones are making me do this.", you anmounce before closing the gap.

Mingyu holds your face, kissing you slow and deep. Smiles when he feels your hand puckering on his shirt. Doesn't pull away until you're tapping on his arms for a breather. Latches back onto your lips after a second because he has been craving them so bad and now that he got the taste, he can't get enough.

The venue for the wedding is decorated beautifully, the lightings and flowers are complimenting each other in the best way.

You smile, sitting quietly as you resort to watching from a distance. The flute of champagne remains untouched.

Mingyu looked great when he walked to the altar. He looks beautiful on the stage. Seeing him donning the suit once again reminded you of your wedding. What if your marriage worked out?

Sora looks beautiful as well. Given, that she's the bride, all eyes are on her.

It's time to exchange vows, the priest announces. You don't remember all the vows you read during your wedding but you surely have some of them memorized. You wonder if they'll read the vows of similar wordings.

As the ceremony ends, your eyes move back and forth, studying the crowd when you feel the seat beside you being taken.

"Your presence on the stage was quite captivating.", you say boringly, "Someone could have mistaken you as the groom."

Mingyu laughs, "Actually I do want to get married but the woman I'm pursuing doesn't seem much interested."

You roll your eyes, "Then pursue someone else."

Though you don't look at him, you'd clearly sense the pout on his face, "But she's the love of my live and the mother of our son."

Your lips threaten to break into a smile. It's been over a year since you gave birth to Minjae, your son.

"Minhee had called.", you tell him, "She told that she'll be keeping Jae for another day, so no need to drop by her house."

Mingyu nods, "Minhee never lets him go easily. Jae seems to be fond of his aunt too. I'm sure Jae is perched on Soonyoung now."

You snort, "That's a given. I need your help on choosing the engagement gift for Minhee and Soonyoung. Hao will also join. When are you free?"

"For you, I'm always free.", Mingyu gives you a flirtatious smile, "Can Hao not come with us, I'll help him out separately."

"Let me go and congratulate Sora and Jungin quickly. We can leave after that.", you sigh at his antics and get on your feet, walking towards the newlyweds.

Sora, tired of her poor choices, sought out to her parents for arrange marriage and that's how she met Jungin and dated him for a while before tying the knot. You weren't exactly sure of attending your ex-husband's ex's wedding but Sora made you promise her and so you somehow ended up at the ceremony while Minhee took care of your son.

Not much has changed over the year. After your son's birth, Mingyu has become brazzen. He has become an absolute loser in love. And that loser has been courting you since then. You're always on your toes when around him because you have no idea what he'll pull. He is unofficially cohabitating with you in the name of parenting. You know better, even if Minjae grows up overnight and moves out, Mingyu would still not stop showing at your door with a bouquet in one hand and that damn smile.

You are unbothered when instead of dropping you off and leaving, Mingyu follows you into the apartment.

"Jae is not even here so what are you doing here?", you ask and take off your sandal.

And as you take another step, you're suddenly swept off your feet. You're not even surprised, your reflexes have grown immune. Mingyu effortlessly carries you to the bedroom and drops you on the bed, drops the blazer on the floor before joining you.

"I don't know about you but I need to change, can't sleep in this dress."

You whine when his grip around your hips tightens.

There's a goofy grin on his face, "I love you so much that my heart might explode someday. Thanks for giving birth to our son and for raising him with me. Thanks for being there for my sister and scaling that Soonyoung when he was confused about his feelings and being an absolute idiot. I like how happy both of them look together. Though you don't owe anything but I'm grateful as you always make sure to attend my parents' anniversary or birthdays and help them out when I can't. Thanks for being a great companion to my friends even after knowing how intolerable they can be."

You squint your eyes at him, already catching on.

Mingyu sits up and fishes out the very familiar velvety box.

He takes out the ring and asks, "Will you marry me?"

"No.", you say and get up, beelining into the bathroom to to get changed.

Mingyu smiles as he watches you. Here goes his 156th attempt of randomly proposing you and you rejecting him.

As Mingyu too gets changed and plops onto the bed, he whispers in your ear pulling you close to his body, "You know right, I won't stop asking you to marry me until you agree or find someone else which I pray for to never happen."

"What if I never say 'yes'?", you ask sleepily, feeling his lips giving feather kisses on your neck.

"I promised to wait a lifetime for you.", Mingyu answers in a heartbeat.

You drift off to sleep and Mingyu remembers something you had said a month or two ago as a part of your late night sleepy rambles.

"I'll marry you, after Jae turns three. I want him to be the flower boy at our wedding."

He still feels giddy, whenever he remembers your words. He doesn't know if he should account for something you said subconsciously, he's not sure if you are yourself aware of these words either. But what matters, what gives him hope is that deep inside your heart you've left him space.

So even if you agree to one of his random proposals, he'll prepare a grand proposal for you just before Jae's third birthday and will marry you right after his son turns three if you say yes.

Mingyu has planned out everything, he'd make Jae walk you down the aisle along with him. Though he's not sure if his heart will be able to handle such a sight. Marrying the love of his life in the presence of his family and friends, what else he could ask for.

Because in the end, everything is worth only for love.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I know you made shorts for Sora, Riku, and Kairi, but do you have any other thoughts about Kingdom Hearts?

Ik this is kinda vauge and you get these kind of asks all the goddamn time, but I hyperfixated on those games for most of elementary and middle school and its always cool to see your favorite Youtuber talk about stuff you really like. Not to guilt trip you into answering this one or anything, just. . . I'm very tired and it would be very cool lol.

Again, saving my character design thoughts for some more shorts, but I adore Kingdom Hearts. Like, the first game really ISN'T much more than a cross-promotional branding exercise for Disney and Square, same as any of a dozen other similar crossover centric franchises; it's a Saturday morning cartoon show that wants to get you invested (or keep you invested) in a bunch of fancy IPs to buy toys of, but it's a really good one of those.

And it's a game that understands that the central thing that's going to hook people IN to that kind of thing is characters that are willing to believe in what they've got going on with one thousand percent sincerity. Which I think is the thing they nailed more than anything. Sora cares SO MUCH, and he wants to find his friend and his love interest (Kairi and Riku, respectively) SO BADLY, you can't help but root for the poor kid and want to believe in it.

Then, with the first game successfully managing to hook a solid fanbase, the creative team went "hey what if we had even MORE extremely earnest cool anime people getting deep in their feelings?" and now we're off to the races with Organizations and Oblivion Castles and fractions of 358 days.

And the thing that makes all the hyper-convoluted wheels-within-wheels plot machination nonsense WORK is that down, deep down, right at the core of what the franchise is always trying to say, is that love will save us. Yeah yeah hearts and darkness and unversed and nobodies and keyblades and blah blah blah (to be clear: I adore all that nonsense), but all of it is top-to-bottom in service of that singular central thematic clarion call.

Love will save us.

What holds Ventus together after Xehanort tears his heart apart? The love of Sora. What keeps Roxas the nobody from fading into Sora? The love of Xion and Axel, and Hayner, Pence and Olette. What brings Xion back? The love of Axel and Roxas. Hearts ring together and resonate and bind themselves to each other and there is no darkness so deep, no tragedy so absolute, no villain so foul that the cry of a loving heart cannot defeat it.

Roxas is a nobody doomed to darkness? Fuck you, Kingdom Hearts is love, no he isn't. Xion is a mere replica puppet, a failed experiment that nobody will remember? >>EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER<< get seasalt icecream'd on top of a clock tower at sunset, IDIOT.

Over and over again characters sink into despair and loneliness, they fear that their connections are fake or fading, they fear being forgotten or left behind (Riku in the first game, the breaking of Ventus, Aqua and Terra, Roxas thinking nobody would miss him, Aqua in the Realm of Darkness), and over and over again they are proven beautifully wrong. There is always a hand reaching out, there is always someone who will miss you. Love will save us.

And this absolutely gets hokey, of course it does, it's a saturday morning children's cartoon. It's a bit simplistic, maybe a bit naïve, but honestly in a world where you can't walk two steps without bleak-minded doomer cynicism forcing the assumption that nothing truly good is possible and that the worst will always happen, Kingdom Hearts is a story so absolutely drenched in hope, sincerely held, that it feels like a fucking balm.

Also, LITERALLY where the fuck else are you going to get Woody from Toy Story reading an edgy anime villain for absolute filth? Nowhere, that's where. ONLY Kingdom Hearts.

None of this is to suggest I don't have criticisms of the franchise or that it's faultless. I could talk for several hours unbroken about all my gripes and problems, chief among which is LET KAIRI DO THINGS OH MY FUCKING GOD the franchise is low key misogynistic towards its female characters sometimes but I am talking about the things I love here let me just be happy for a second.

[sanjiaftersex]

Why I think Luffy saved sanji in whole cake, not just physically but in every sense of the word :

Firstly, this parallel between Luffy and Sora was extremely significant for sanji

sanji knew that food is one of the most important thing in the captain's life but Luffy was willing to forego that, jeopardize his own life and eat spoiled food for him, even when sanji was at his worst during this period. Luffy gave him the grace and consideration that sanji always gave to others but rarely got it reciprocated throughout his life. Sanji who always thought he was undeserving of love, was showed that he deserved it even when he was being difficult, and even when he wasn't seeing eye to eye with his friend. Luffy is generally not a perceptive person but he understood sanji in a time when he was at the rock bottom and everything in the world was going against him.

Again, this difference between how Luffy and Judge sees sanji : where in Judge's eyes, sanji was worthless because of his soft heart, Luffy accepted and valued him for everything he was : kindhearted and easily moved by people's pain.

Luffy loves and accepts sanji on such a genuine level that when judge was pointing out the reasons of sanji being weak, Luffy couldn't even grasp it. To Luffy, sanji being weak/a burden is so beyond comprehension that he simply didnt get it. And it's so funny to see the startle in sanji's face when Luffy verbalizes his stance on sanji's supposed weakness.

reiju helped him escape the prison but Luffy is the one who broke down the iron bars of the mind-prison sanji was in and mended his wounds left by the vinsmokes and the absence of sora. Maybe that's why when they make up and the first rays of the sun shines upon Lusan, it felt like a metaphor that the stormy days were finally over for sanji

[seangelfish]

What they do for White Day (pt.1)

❥ Featured characters: Chiaki Morisawa, HiMERU, Subaru Akehoshi, Natsume Sakasaki, Wataru Hibiki

❥ Tags: Fluff, established relationships/mutual crushes, stories are based on the !! era, no mention of pronouns

❥ A/N: Happy White Day, everyone! (≧◡≦) ♡ Since I wrote this concept for a request for Mayoi (which can be found here), I decided to write for a few more characters through a randomizer (also trying to write for characters I haven't written for yet)!

🤍 CHIAKI MORISAWA

Chiaki was thrilled when he received homemade chocolates from you, his lovely partner, for Valentine's Day. It was a dream come true for him! He had always wanted a partner to give him homemade bento boxes for lunch, but this was something entirely new, something even more special!

"Thank you so much, (Y/N)!" he beamed. "I love you!"

He had promised he would repay your love back on White Day, but the time between those days made Chiaki a nervous wreck. He was worried that whatever he did for you wouldn't live up to your expectations, but simultaneously, he was really excited to profess his love to you that day too.

You were going to love whatever he did anyway.

On White Day, Chiaki decided to make you chocolates too. He planned to make white chocolate and decorate it with blue sprinkles along with icing that said, 'Happy White Day!'

With determination and perseverance, Chiaki managed to do it! However, he also got you backup gifts if it tasted bad…

"Happy White Day, (Y/N)! I love you a lot," he said. "Thank you for sticking with me!"

🤍 HiMERU

He didn't expect you to gift him anything for Valentine's Day because your relationship was purely professional. However, when you sought him out, pulling out a beautiful box of chocolates addressed to him, he was completely stunned. Despite how calculating his character was, he didn't calculate this at all.

Yet when he thought about it, piecing two and two together, it made sense that you had feelings for him. He had accepted your feelings on the day, but he also wanted to return the gesture on White Day as he believed you deserved it.

But also because he realised that he did love you too.

HiMERU is one to plan out the perfect date and the perfect gift. He took you out to dinner in a botanical garden restaurant and then surprised you with a glistening white necklace.

As he helped you clip the necklace around your neck, he wished for the newfound relationship to go well.

"Thank you for loving me, (Y/N). I will do my best to treat you in the way you deserve because I have fallen for you too. Happy White Day."

🤍 SUBARU AKEHOSHI

It has been a year since you have established a relationship with Subaru, one of your closest friends. But despite being friends for so long, he treats you like you mean the world to him even more than before. So when you gifted him your homemade chocolates on Valentine's Day, he was over the moon, jumping up and down in excitement that his lovely partner had gifted him something so special.

"Uwa~ Thank you so much, (Y/N)!" he exclaimed joyfully. "I love it and I love you! Be prepared for White Day, okay~? ☆"

Subaru went all out. After school, he grabbed you by the hand and made you run with him to the park where he swiftly prepared a White Day-themed picnic. In addition to that, he presented you with a gift basket containing all your favourite chocolate and sweets.

"Sorry, I didn't know what to get you, so I got you everything! I hope you like it as much as I like you! Happy White Day, (Y/N)!"

🤍 NATSUME SAKASAKI

It was probably the worst time to give him chocolates, but the school day was ending, and you hadn't seen him around until the very end. You had asked Sora for his whereabouts, and he had to guide you to their secret room where Natsume was burning chemicals that smelt like roses.

And that's because he was burning roses.

He was clearly in a bad mood which made you want to chicken out, but you also didn't want to waste your chances. You called out his name, tapping him on the shoulder. When he turned around with a shocked expression on his face, you took his hands and gave him the bag of chocolates.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Natsume."

His face was as red as his hair that day.

He had wanted to accept your feelings right there and then, but he withheld it for White Day. He wanted to prepare you something in return, so when the day finally arrived, he sought out you this time.

When he found you in the gardens, he accepted your love by gifting you a bouquet of white roses that sparkled with the help of his magic, and some heart-shaped candy he had bought.

But what he really wanted to do was confess that he had loved you for the longest time. It was the reason why he was mad that day because he had thought you didn't share the same feelings as you didn't come to see him earlier.

"I was stupid," he admitted. "But I'm not stupid for loving you. Happy White Day, (Y/N)."

🤍 WATARU HIBIKI

Despite being in a long-time relationship with Wataru, he was really hard to come by when the two of you were at work even when you were a producer at Star Pro. He liked popping in and out of places, so you never knew where he was until he appeared in front of you.

You never tried hunting him down because regardless of that characteristic, he always had time to meet you. So on Valentine's Day, you waited for him to show up to give him your homemade chocolates. He was absolutely delighted, twirling you around and kissing you on the cheek.

Therefore, on White Day, he already had everything planned out. He had Yuzuru give you an invitation to one of his shows which had you confused at first, but you went anyway. What you didn't expect was that the show was specifically for you only.

"My darling, the love of my life, welcome to your White Day show!" he chorused. "Now, let's get started with the first segment! ☆"

The show contained a lot of entertaining magic tricks, doves, and sparkles. When it came to a close, he declared his love for you and out popped a bouquet of white and blue flowers. He jumped off the stage and presented them to you, cupping your cheek affectionately.

"Happy White Day, (Y/N). I hope you enjoyed the show."

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

[ikeuverse]

DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY — l.heeseung

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader  GENRES: fluff, angst  WC: 15.3k+

WARNINGS: mention of betrayal (not between heeseung and y/n), swearing, arguing, drinking alcohol, mention of sex, and i think that's it. let me know if i've forgotten anything, please.

SYNOPSIS: lee heeseung is afraid to say the three famous words out loud, and he knows that because he didn't, he lost you once. and he doesn't want that to happen again.

NOTES: first of all, more than 15k words? maybe i got carried away or idk i was abstaining from writing... this is the longest story I've ever written on this tumblr (so far). i've had this idea for a while and i've also read similar things, but never with heeseung being the one who can't say i love you. i decided to do it the way i imagined it would be, so i hope you like it!

masterlist

Your fingers circled the wine glass as she looked at your flatmate and best friend. The tip of her nose was red from crying and, with a little more wine in her glass, she drank it all in one gulp.

"You're going to get drunk like that" your voice came out low, to warn her, not scolding her.

"That's the point" Hyojin smiled without any humor, pouring some more and showing you that it was over.

One more bottle, she hissed in your direction and you got up to get it from the fridge. Your best friend wasn't kidding when she told you to go to the market and buy six bottles of wine for the evening.

Break-ups are hard, you think, although you've never really experienced them. You just follow your friends and even your favorite movies and characters. But the worst break-up is when the guy swears his love, asks you to marry, and then says he's been offered a job on the other side of the country.

It happened to Hyojin. Her relationship with Seungho was perfect, worthy of a movie script, you'd think. They met in their last year of high school – you met Hyojin in your first year of college, so Seungho came with baggage. And every year on that university campus the two of them stood out because they were so close and loving towards each other.

After graduating, the two moved in together and after a year Seungho asked her to marry him. You still remember Hyojin's eyes shining as brightly as that ring on her finger while your best friend giggled on the sofa in their small apartment.

"I'm getting married" she said, and you agreed. Because of the two of you, she was even more likely to do it because of your long-standing relationship, while you had never been in a relationship. Not even a serious one.

After months of engagement, Seungho said that he had been offered a job on the other side of the country. Hyojin had always encouraged him, so there was no hesitation when she helped him pack for the trip. But not before shedding a few tears over the constant conversations they had when he stayed at the couple's apartment to make the final arrangements.

"Are you sure we'll work out from a distance?" he asked one night, looking deep into Hyojin's eyes as he sighed. Even though she didn't know what he was asking, she only agreed and assured him that she would wait for him, or even try to ask for a transfer from her work to the headquarters less than an hour from where Seungho said he would be staying.

But there was no time. The shock of seeing Seungho going to the other side of the country and getting into a relationship with a woman from the company made Hyojin's stomach turn.

I was being betrayed the whole time, she mumbled through sobs as you tried to calm her down in the middle of the apartment your best friend shared with her - now - ex-fiancé.

How could Hyojin never have suspected? How could you never see that he was capable of this? Was Seungho so fake as to deceive Hyojin's family, her friends and everyone around to show himself to be an honest man while having an affair with a woman from his work?

"Maybe we should go to his new job and set fire to his new office" Sora, another friend of the two of you, suggested while pouring some more chocolate ice cream.

Sneakily, you picked up your phone and stared at your friend.

"I think I'll ask Jake to put our contact in the emergency room in case he needs help" you commented. Jake was Sora's boyfriend and your best friend at college. He had also met Seungho and hated the whole thing, but he had to divide himself between looking after his best friend – with the help of his girlfriend – and Hyojin's brother who was fighting the urge to kill his younger sister's ex-fiancé.

The whole issue itself leads up to the moment in question where, one more night, Hyojin falls into the weakness of feeling sad again. Crying and wondering where she had gone wrong all this time that she hadn't noticed a single sign that she was being betrayed.

All this guilt consumed you all the more for being your best friend for so long that you couldn't even say anything. So your apology was to buy more wine and let your best friend, and now flatmate, drink as much as she wanted.

Asking Hyojin to move in with you after the breakup was the least you could do since she didn't want to stay where she was either. Nothing that reminded of her ex was something to be proud of. So the further away she was, the better off she would be.

"Maybe you need to go to bed now" you said sleepily, yawning and leaving your glass halfway down.

"No, of course not" she was cheerful, even if her whole face looked a bit swollen from the amount of crying she'd done "How about we have a party?"

"Now?" you widened your eyes as you picked up your cell phone to check the time.

One o'clock in the morning.

"Hyojin, let's go to bed" you stood up and tried to take her by the hand, but your friend sidestepped you and took the device from her. Unlocking it and typing a few things "What are you doing?"

Hyojin didn't answer, putting the phone on speaker.

"Hyojin…"

"Hyojin?" the thick, sleepy voice on the other end of the line indicated that it was a boy. Sleepy and a little inebriated, you narrowed your eyes to see the caller ID.

"Hey, brother" she laughed softly and then looked at you, her eyes so small that you could see the effect of so many bottles of wine.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" he said. A rustle on the other end of the line indicated that he was stirring in bed to get up, apparently waking from his peaceful slumber.

"Y/n's fault, she bought me a drink."

"Motherfucker" you whispered.

"Can I talk to y/n?" he asked at the same moment you cursed your best friend.

With a mischievous, cheeky grin, Hyojin agreed without protest and gave you her cell phone. Before he did anything, your gaze followed your friend out of the kitchen as she said needed to go to the bathroom. He then took the handset off the speakerphone.

"Y/n?" he called this time.

"Hi, Heeseung" you didn't know why you'd swallowed, even though you weren't face to face, you could imagine the small smile he gave when you said his name.

"Can you keep her awake for a few minutes until I get there?" he asked. You couldn't see, but Heeseung had the speakerphone on just to get out of his pajamas and into more comfortable clothes, putting on his sneakers and picking up the handset again.

"What? You're coming—"

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?" there was no denying it since you remembered how protective Heeseung was of Hyojin. So you could only agree with your best friend's older brother "Okay, I'll call you on her cell phone to let you know I've arrived."

And before you could even process that Heeseung had hung up, Hyojin arrived in the kitchen.

"So… Did you miss my brother's voice?" she asked in a mischievous tone, making you roll your eyes.

"You're drunk and delirious" you were holding her cell phone in your hands, laughing as your best friend hugged you by the shoulders "Now let's stay on the couch until Heeseung gets here."

"He's coming over? Did you ask?"

"No" you said simply, ending the conversation at that moment as Hyojin walked into the living room to sit down, waiting for his brother.

While you divided your attention between the device and your best friend, yawning a few times and feeling that the drunkenness was gradually wearing off. At the same time, your heart began to race, and you just wanted to push away the thought that the reason was coming in fifteen minutes.

Heeseung had arrived in fifteen minutes, or even less, you couldn't tell. He talked to you to try to find out how many bottles Hyojin had drunk and if she had done anything other than call him.

No. All the answers were no and Heeseung was relieved to know that you were taking such good care of his sister.

You tried to reassure him that everything was fine and that he could rest, but knowing your overprotection and big-brother instincts, it was nothing new that Heeseung would take Hyojin to bed and sleep there.

Nor would it be news that the next morning you would be sitting on one of the stools facing the kitchen worktop watching Heeseung cook breakfast.

Your sleepy voice made him laugh to himself as he asked you what you liked to eat. Pancakes with extra chocolate icing was a good one, a little blood glucose, and a good strong coffee without sugar to balance out the hangover. It all blended so well in your mouth that you almost let out a compliment louder than: thank you, this is amazing.

It wasn't long before Hyojin woke up, much worse off than you, and joined the bench next to you to eat breakfast.

"What will you have?" Heeseung asked in a low tone, already preparing himself for the next words.

"Don't shout, I've got a headache" Hyojin spoke, he just moved his lips as if imitating her, already knowing exactly what she would say. You laughed, only to be reprimanded by your best friend.

"Okay, strong coffee first" Heeseung whispered and poured some of the strong brown liquid into a cup he had already set aside for her.

While Hyojin drank, you finished your chocolate pancakes and stared at your best friend next to you. But that didn't stop you from feeling the weight of the pair of eyes in front of you. You didn't want to turn and face Heeseung, but you knew he was looking at you.

The three of you remained silent for long minutes until Hyojin had recovered – after three long cups of coffee – opting to go and sit at the table since the kitchen counter wouldn't be as comfortable to hold a conversation staring at each other.

"Well…" Heeseung began, looking at you until he focused on Hyojin "Six bottles? Really?"

A short silence is maintained until she clicks her tongue inside her mouth, bringing the cup halfway to her lips and taking a sip of coffee.

"Last time I managed to outdo myself, it was nine bottles" she laughed to herself, knowing it wasn't funny, but wanting to get rid of the tense atmosphere and the two of them staring at her with concern.

"Did he call you?" he let slip after a while. Hyojin didn't want to appear fragile now, so you just huffed and made a point of getting up. Perhaps this was a private conversation between the brothers and you didn't want to get involved.

"No" Hyojin said as she grabbed your arm, so that answer had a double meaning – both for Heeseung and for your leaving the kitchen, she wanted you to stay.

"Then why do you still insist on drinking because of that asshole and crying about him every night?"

Another moment of silence. You wanted to leave while there was still time, but Hyojin's hand remained on your arm.

"Maybe because it's been more than five years of relationship, including a year of engagement."

The brothers exchanged angry glances with each other, but they weren't angry with each other. Heeseung wasn't mad at Hyojin and Hyojin wasn't mad at him.

You mentioned opening your mouth a few times and shut up when they started arguing with each other. With no intention of stopping so soon, you knew that when the Lee brothers started an argument, it would go on for so long that all you had to do was pick up your friend's cup and drink the coffee for her.

"How was I supposed to know he was cheating on me, Heeseung?" Hyojin snapped, just in time for you to pull on her arm and get out of there quickly.

Dialing Jake's number, the only one who could help you in this whole situation. He didn't need to ask you anything when you just said "come quickly" because he knew what he had to do.

And as quickly as Heeseung arrived last night, Jake was walking through the door of the apartment.

The brothers were still arguing in the kitchen and you had a sad smile on your face.

"How long?" he asked, pulling you into a hug and smelling freshly brewed coffee.

"Since I called you, that's…"

"Twenty minutes" he looked at his cell phone and then at you, linking his arm in yours so that the two of you could go into the kitchen where the discussion was still going on.

None of the Lee brothers realized that you had been gone for so long, and even fewer had noticed Jake's arrival – now with you – in the kitchen. The two of them shouted at each other and Hyojin sometimes banged the table when he noticed how ironic his older brother was being.

"Were you stupid enough to believe that he would wait for you on the other side of the country?" Heeseung shouted this time. The veins were prominent on his neck as he kept his fists clenched on the table, imagining one of his hands meeting Seungho's face.

"I was, Heeseung. I was dumb enough because I loved Seungho" Hyojin shouted back "I've loved him for all these years, but there's no point in arguing about it because you don't know what love is, do you?"

"Hyojin" he called out to his sister, his eyes widening when she mentioned such a thing.

"What? I was stupid enough to be cheated on and we can't bring up the fact that Mr. Perfect doesn't know what real love is?"

"That's enough!" Jake shouted so loudly that it startled all three of them at once.

You cringed next to him, Hyojin shuddered and Heeseung stood up so quickly that he felt his vision go dark for a few seconds before returning to normal.

"Jake?" the Lee brothers asked at the same time.

He cleared his throat, untangling his arm from you to walk over to the two of them who were standing near the dining table.

"What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked.

"Trying to intervene in a silly fight between siblings" he kept his voice loud but didn't shout this time. Looking between Heeseung and Hyojin, he sighed "What the fuck are you two doing?"

Really, what were the two of them doing? Stopping the fight for a while and looking in your direction, you seemed stunned by everything that was happening while Hyojin and Heeseung realized why Jake was there.

You called him. You called Jake so that he would somehow try to stop what you hadn't been able to.

"I'm sorry" Hyojin tried to say, but you just nodded and looked away from the two brothers to go to the counter and get some more coffee.

"I think this whole situation is getting on everyone's nerves, that's for sure" Jake began, signaling to you that he also wanted some coffee. As soon as he took the cup, he thanked you and sat down in the chair next to Hyojin – where you had been sitting before everything started "But we don't have to blame each other for something that's Seungho's fault."

No one doubted Jake's words and how right he was about them, but hearing out loud that it wasn't anyone's fault made Heeseung panic. Because he needed to blame someone, or at least try to get all the anger out since everything happened and he saw his sister cry.

It was different from a scraped knee, for example. Or when Hyojin cried when she was ten because Heeseung wouldn't let her play with his Legos.

It was also different when Heeseung fought with Hyojin for eating the last chocolate from the box of sweets, for example. Or how he yelled – not raged – at her because Hyojin had borrowed one of his perfumes. Without asking. Because she liked the smell of her older brother.

It was all very different, that's for sure.

"Is now the time for an apology?" Hyojin looked at his brother, who had his head down and was staring at his fingers.

You and Jake nodded in agreement, but before she could say anything, Heeseung stood up.

"I'm leaving, Jake and y/n can take care of you from here" and without waiting for anyone else to say anything, he left.

Hyojin wanted to mentally curse herself more than before. More than anything. Looking at her two friends who remained in the kitchen, their vision blurred by tears, she sobbed.

"Your words were hard, you know, aren't they?" she laid her head on Jake's shoulder, as the boy felt her tears soak through his T-shirt. Hyojin sobbed some more, then bit his lower lip.

"I just… I thought…" she couldn't say anything. You knew that, because Jake had known the brothers for a little longer, perhaps the truths – or insults – spoken at that moment carried things you didn't know yet. So you decided to keep quiet and leave the kitchen once again.

You walked into the living room just in time to see Heeseung coming down the stairs from the duplex, fixing his hair and the sweatshirt he'd worn the night before. He turned to you, his eyes watering too, but he didn't say anything. Not even a nod in your direction. Just a sad look, perhaps thanking you for the day's stay and for looking after Hyojin while he got to the apartment.

Leaving quickly, Heeseung had you worried because you knew why Hyojin was crying, but you had no idea why he was shedding those tears.

"Traveling?" Hyojin frowned as you pushed the milkshake glass towards her. Berries for your best friend while you sipped on something with salted caramel.

"A whole month away from all this, what do you think?"

"A whole month?" she widened her eyes "And where would we go?"

Her shoulders rose and fell, shrugging them slowly as she pretended to think. It turned out that you and Jake had talked a lot over the last few weeks after that moment in your apartment with the Lee brothers. All the events were affecting everything around you, the boy had even said that he almost got into a fight with Sora for a silly reason because he was thinking of ways to end Seungho's life.

That man had ruined the mood of everyone in Hyojin's life and none of them wanted it anymore.

"Jake said he missed Grandma Lee's farmhouse" you smiled with your lips around the straw, sipping your milkshake as you listened to your best friend laugh.

"What are you two up to?" she asked, sipping her cold drink and feeling that cozy taste. It was the drink the two of you shared once a week when you wanted to talk outside the house or simply get out of the routine of coffee, wine, or any other drink you had inside your home – the apartment you shared after everything happened.

"Actually" you looked away and stared at the people in the street. Each one with their daily life, average problems or not. Some talk on their cell phones and others enjoy the company of another person, a child, a dog on a leash, and even a food delivery man balancing a few boxes in his hand as he enters an establishment in front of the café. You turned your attention to Hyojin, smiling at her "Jake and I have talked a lot since everything happened and we were just thinking about something we could all do together again. Just like old times."

Like old times, that phrase echoed in Hyojin's head. You all used to go to her grandmother's country house, yes. You, Heeseung, Jake and Sora, and her with Seungho. Spending incredible moments with Grandma Lee, while the siblings recounted everything they'd ever gotten up to on that estate.

Jake has already risked climbing the apple tree that Heeseung almost fell from when he was eight. Or how Seungho gently cut up the vegetables for Grandma Lee while you set the table bathed in yet another nostalgic story about the brothers. Or even of the little lady who loved company.

It was a different place to where you used to go, far from the city, the beach, or any social interaction since you all had plenty of that in the city where you lived.

It was on Grandma Lee's farm that you learned to knit and sew, for example. And it was there that Sora painted a friendship picture on her last vacation that hung in your living room. That place contained a lot of memories of the Lee brothers, but it was also a place where Hyojin was creating a lot of memories with her friends too, along with her brother – she wanted to exclude Seungho completely from these thoughts.

"If I accept this vacation" she began, a smile widening her lips as you listened to your best friend ramble on until she sighed at the end of the sentence "why do we need to stay a month?"

"Because it's enough time for Jake to explore all of your granny's fruit trees" you listed, sipping your cold drink to wet your throat "Or for Heeseung to teach Sora how to ride his grandfather's tractor" you both laughed at the last memory when she almost broke through a fence "Or how your grandmother can keep teaching me how to knit" you shrugged.

It was unfair to list all that with the smell of longing and nostalgia for Hyojin. She knew it had been a long time since she'd seen her grandmother, and long enough since she'd taken a vacation to relax.

"Have you two told Heeseung about this?" she asked.

Perfect, she's considering the idea, you thought as you shook your head in reply.

"Jake's going to talk to him today."

"So this meeting of ours wasn't about drinking?" your friend pretended to be offended when she realized that, at the moment you were talking to her about it, Jake was probably talking to Jake too, wherever you were.

With a guilty smile, you finished your milkshake and smiled at her before grimacing.

"Vacation. A month to miss granny Lee, please?"

With a pout on your lips, you hoped that this would convince Lee Hyojin to go on vacation with you and Jake.

Grandma Lee's hug was so welcoming that you didn't want to leave, feeling her hands smoothing your back as you laid your head on hers.

"How I've missed having you all here" she said after releasing you, going to hug Sora in the same way.

"We missed you too, Grandma" Hyojin had already hugged her, so he sat down on the sofa while he waited for Grandma to get her friends to join her.

"How did you all manage to leave at the same time?" she asked "And the boys, where are they?"

"Coming a bit late" Hyojin said "Heeseung and Jake had to pick someone up, so we wanted to come quickly."

"To get the best guest room" you added.

When they came to Grandma Lee's house, Hyojin used to share a room with Seungho, while you and Sora shared another, next to Heeseung and Jake in the other room. Since it would be kind of weird for you to sleep with your best friend's brother. Or not.

This time the division would be with you sleeping with Hyojin, while Jake and Sora would share the other room, and Heeseung would sleep with his new friend who was arriving. Up went the suitcases and superficially tidied up until they arrived, which didn't take long when Jake's car horn was heard coming down the road before it stopped near the fences of Grandma Lee's property.

You all came out of the house together with the lady to greet the new arrivals who were getting out of the vehicle to unload their bags and supplies.

"Hey, you didn't take long" Sora approached first, being hugged by Jake as he kissed her quickly.

"I thought the two of them were going to roll into the house, but it was kind of quick" he smiled, opening the trunk to grab his things, but before he could pull out the suitcase, Jake shouted, "Granny!"

He ran out towards the lady who was already near the entrance stairs to greet him. Heeseung got out of the car laughing at the typical scene that happened every time they went there. It was as if Jake was more of a grandson than Heeseung himself or even Hyojin. He felt more like part of the family and even had a little argument with you for having been adopted first as Mrs. Lee's grandson.

"How handsome you look, Jake" she said after hugging him, receiving a grateful smile from the boy.

"You look wonderful" Jake complimented "And you know what I brought?"

"Don't tell me you—"

"Jake, if you brought my grandmother a drink…" Hyojin wanted to yell at him when he saw his friend shrug and dodge a slap he could have received on his arm.

You and Sora could only laugh at the whole situation as you watched Heeseung approach a boy. Your eyes narrowed to decipher who it was, without recognizing him until he got close enough and waved to the two of you.

"Grandma" Heeseung didn't want to let go of the lady in his arms, almost lifting her off the ground when he went to hug her. Laughing at the whole thing, Grandma Lee said she missed her eldest grandson before he introduced the boy "Women, this is our friend Sunghoon. Sunghoon, this is my wonderful, perfect granny" the tall, dark-haired boy smiled at the lady, who wasn't shy about hugging him too "This is Sora, Jake's girlfriend" she waved to Sunghoon after he had been hugged by Grandma Lee "And this is y/n, my sister's best friend."

"Oh" Sunghoon raised his eyebrows when he heard her name, and it made his smile falter. Did he know you?

You nodded back, swallowing dryly and putting it out of your mind for a while when Jake returned with Hyojin.

"Have you chosen your rooms yet?" he asked "We've brought so much food that I think we'll have enough for the whole month."

"That's great, I'm going to cook a lot for all of you" while Grandma Lee was talking to the rest of the group, you pulled Jake along before he approached the car with the others to unload everything they had brought. He looked at you with a calm countenance, smiling without showing his teeth and waiting for you to say something.

"Who's Sunghoon?" you asked quietly, afraid that someone would overhear.

Jake bit his lip to keep from laughing, but it still happened. This time he received a slap on the arm from you.

"Come on, why am I getting hit?" he asked, dodging another slap and staying by your side as you started walking to the car "He's a friend of Heeseung's from work, we talk about a lot of things, and... Well, eventually about girls too."

"And why did he… Mhm…" you could feel your cheeks burning at the thought, but you still wanted to ask "And why did he look surprised when he heard my name?"

Jake didn't laugh this time, but he kept a shit-eating grin on his face as he let everyone take their bags into the house, leaving just you and him there to pick up the rest.

"Because I talk about Sora, we talk about Hyojin too" he ran the tip of his tongue between his lips before speaking "And Heeseung has said things about you a few times too."

"Things? About me? But wait… What kind of things?" you asked.

Jake picked up the heavier bags, leaving some light ones for you to carry. When he had taken them, he closed the trunk of the car and activated the alarm to enter Grandma Lee's house with you.

"How about we talk and have a drink tonight after dinner?" Jake whispered, "So you can ask Sunghoon himself."

Jake was a son of a bitch when he wanted to be, and you hated that side of your best friend. But at the same time, you knew how right he was.

You all drank a little after dinner. And after each other, and each other too, making it an almost daily practice after the meal for the next two weeks. Drinking, talking, and laughing, all together. But at no point did you manage to ask Sunghoon anything in particular. And he also didn't seem to mind interacting with you so much after the first time you met.

Sunghoon had been working with Heeseung in the same sector for just over a year and a half, and you realized – along with your two friends – that he was just as playful and fun as the boy and Jake. Putting the three of you together made for a good session of laughter and even adventure within the first two weeks.

You all explored the surroundings, hiking and recognizing places you'd only been to a few times before. Bathing in the waterfall on the nearby property, which was a friend of the Lee family, it wouldn't be a problem for anyone to feel uncomfortable, as Sunghoon said he was afraid of.

You also went into town to buy more drinks because, according to Jake, you needed to inaugurate the pier near the lake where you last barbecued – four days ago – during the night. And that's exactly where you were.

You had eaten enough and sat down on the beach chair they had put there for anyone who wanted one, smiling at Sunghoon who had sat down next to you.

"Would you like one?" he offered a can of beer and you readily accepted, thanking him before opening your can and drinking some of the contents.

Watching your friends laughing and roasting the rest of the meat they had bought, joking with each other, and feeling your chest relax when you saw Hyojin smile. The big reason for this trip was right there, leaning on Jake's shoulder as he laughed at something Sora had said.

"Heeseung told me" Sunghoon snapped you out of your thoughts, making you look at him quickly as you missed the scene where Hyojin was hugging his brother "I felt his anger."

"I don't know who was angrier than Hyojin" you sighed heavily, drinking beer at the same second as Sunghoon, almost as if you were both a reflection of each other.

"He's a piece of shit" the boy muttered "I only met him once when Heeseung took him out to the bar" he chewed his lower lip as he was distracted by the four of them running along the pier, well away from the grill now "It was a bit… Egocentric."

"Disgusting" you added.

Swearing at Seungho was therapeutic for you, and you were grateful to know that Sunghoon shared the same feeling. Well, anyone in their right mind would feel that way because what that idiot had done to your best friend was unimaginable.

"Hey" Jake approached the two of you, picking up a third chair to put on your other side and put you between him and Sunghoon.

"Why did you come here?" the boy asked Jake, seeing that he also had a beer in his hand, and then sighed.

Jake would have answered, but the scene in front of him spoke for itself. Heeseung, Sora, and Hyojin had taken off their shirts and jumped into the lake without warning. He didn't want to risk it as it was getting dark – and he wasn't that brave either – telling the three of them that he would sit down with you and Sunghoon to talk.

"What were you talking about?" he then asked.

"We were cursing Seungho" you said cheerfully, watching Jake smile.

"He's such a asshole!" Jake stretched out, feeling his bones crack in his body after a while. Then he decided to drink some of his beer "I regret holding Heeseung back in college when he wanted to hit him."

"What? Heeseung wanted to hit Seungho?" you were shocked by this information, asking Jake what else the boys were hiding from you.

Talking about college was nostalgic for all the things you all experienced together. They were long years together and every moment counted for a lot and strengthened everything you had built up to that point. This made Sunghoon's mind click, looking at Jake as he finished telling a story he'd experienced with Sora where they'd almost broken up because she hadn't let him skip literature class – it was her favorite subject.

"I know it's none of my business, but can I ask you something?" Sunghoon scratched his head for almost two whole weeks at that. Jake even imagined it, so he stifled a smile as you looked at the boy and nodded slowly, smiling lazily as you felt your mouth start to go numb from the beer.

Jake got up to walk the few steps to the cooler where there were more drinks to grab three more beers for him, you and Sunghoon before turning back quickly, just in time to hear the other ask.

"What did you and Heeseung have in university?"

Your neck could break with the speed at which you turned your head to look at Jake.

"What? I didn't say anything at all" he defended himself, raising his hands after sitting down and opening his drink.

What had happened between you and Heeseung in university? That was a while ago, almost two years to be exact, in the last year. You never thought you'd have to relive that thought, even though it came back to you every time you met him. But you tried very hard not to think about it while the boy was around.

Looking at Sunghoon now, you sighed and paid more attention to the can of beer Jake had handed you as you opened it.

"We kissed once—"

"Several times" Jake interrupted you "For almost a year."

Sunghoon laughed at the astonished look you made, and also because Jake was very airy before he got a load of water on his shorts. You mentally thanked for always having a bottle of water nearby when you drank, and now you didn't mind emptying it on your best friend.

"Shut up."

"Tell Sunghoon the truth, you don't have to lie since there's only the three of us here" Jake wanted to scream because the water was freezing his entire thigh due to the wet fabric in contact with his skin.

You laughed a little, pressing your fingers on the can and then looking at Sunghoon.

"We kissed a few times and… That's it."

There was a little silence, but not much because Jake snorted.

"Can I be honest again? For you?" you rolled your eyes, seeing that sparing details of events wouldn't work very well since your friend would tell you everything himself.

"You don't have to if you two don't want to" Sunghoon laughed, finishing his beer "It's just that he tells me some things, just like I tell him too. And just… He told me about you two in college and I wanted to draw some conclusions."

"Which ones?" you asked.

But there was no answer. His complicit look with Sunghoon indicated that the two of them had already had that conversation, all that was needed were a few answers that they were looking for… But which ones? What were the answers they wanted? Because you had no idea.

Getting involved with Heeseung wasn't something you regretted telling no one about. No, on the contrary. It all happened so suddenly that you didn't know how to say it.

The cliché trope of dating your best friend's brother, getting involved, or falling in love, happened long after you met him. And it was so by chance.

It had been two years since you met Hyojin and, consequently, Heeseung too. You knew he'd had lots of girlfriends, and you'd also had a few affairs here and there, but no one ever insisted on the two of you. Jake didn't joke about it when you all went out together and neither did Hyojin smile mischievously at you or her brother when it was just the two of you at the end of the party to leave, since she went with Seungho and Jake went with Sora.

But one day, after an intense week of tests for you and a troubled break-up with Heeseung, everything came together and contributed to you waking up in his bed. That had been the promise of a single night.

That lasted for months, practically a year of involvement between you and him. But that ended suddenly. Heeseung seemed to be afraid of something and you, worried about what he might feel, decided to give him the space he needed. You were both afraid of breaking up with your group of friends, so getting back to normal was a bit difficult for both of you, but in the last year since you finished college, you and Heeseung had done very well in maintaining a friendship, even if you were now being teased by Hyojin and Jake.

This was something you managed – pretended, to be precise – to avoid at all costs. But it was a big lie when your cheeks got hot or when you smiled awkwardly at anything your friends said. Hiding it may have been easy, but not feeling it was even harder.

"Right" Sunghoon sighed after you told him, with Jake's excited help, about your history with Heeseung "After that I concluded that I was right."

"What did we talk about?" Jake asked, seeing the boy agree with a nod and a victorious smile on his lips.

"Okay, gentlemen conversationalists, what were you talking about? May I ask?"

You might if it weren't for the return of the other three friends, soaking wet and giggling while Heeseung, the most provocative, shook his wet hair over Sunghoon.

"Aren't you going in the water?" Hyojin asked as he looked at you, smiling and almost shaking her chin. You laughed and got up from your chair.

"No, and I think you need to dry off or you'll get sick."

"Sick? I never get sick" Heeseung hugged Sunghoon who had stood up, hearing his friend's shout that he didn't want to get his clothes wet.

You rolled your eyes at him, not caring so much about the two of them teasing as you tried to settle down on the pier as best you could. Trying to forget the conversation you had a few minutes ago, while the reason for it was laughing and joking with Sunghoon, who looked at you now and then with a knowing smile.

Coughing. Tremors and a high fever. That's how Heeseung felt at dawn and throughout the day. He didn't want to get sick on his vacation trip, let alone spoil the outing everyone had planned to the nearby town center, where a spring fair was taking place.

He wanted to go along, getting out of bed a few times and being prevented by his grandmother from leaving. Heeseung could cry with the pain in his body as he sat up in bed after Grandma Lee left the room, giving Sunghoon a way in.

"What's up, man?" he sat on the edge of the bed, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing.

"What? Are you going to make fun of me too?" Heeseung coughed.

"I never get sick" Sunghoon tried to imitate Heeseung's voice, failing and laughing immediately afterwards. The other had nothing to object to.

"Seriously, I don't know what happened. What the fuck?" he whimpered as he threw his head back, the tip of his nose red because he'd lost count of how many times he'd blown.

"You dived into the lake at night, that's what happened," Sunghoon warned.

"I'm going to ruin your outing, aren't I? Fuck!" cursed the boy for a moment.

Sunghoon wanted to say no, maybe they could reschedule the tour for another day when Heeseung was feeling better. Especially since there were still many weeks until the end of their vacation, so everyone could go to the nearby city center afterward for the fair they had arranged. But before Sunghoon could even say anything, Heeseung was getting out of bed. With a lot of effort – and a little bit of crying – he leaned on his friend to stand up.

"Let's go to the living room, I think I can go with you."

Sunghoon rolled his eyes at his friend's stubbornness but wanted to let him walk as far as he could on his own to the living room where the whole group of friends were.

"Heeseung!" Hyojin was surprised when his brother reached the room, struggling to walk while coughing now and then.

"I couldn't keep him in the room" Sunghoon whispered.

"One thing you should learn about him is that he's stubborn as a rock" Sora hummed, receiving a roll of the eyes from Heeseung.

"I don't want you to miss the exit for me. I just—"

He raised his arms to signal something, but he was so weak and off balance that if it weren't for you and your body holding him up, Heeseung might fall. Your arms quickly circled his waist while Heeseung wrapped one of his arms around your shoulder, his face close to yours because of the position he was in.

"Are you okay?" he wasn't at all okay with that closeness, and he knew that the hot sensation on your face was a mixture of the fever and how beautiful you were next to him.

"Okay, how about we go later? Let's stay home and…"

"No way" Heeseung interrupted Jake, looking at him with great effort to look away from you at that moment, "I'll feel guilty if you all miss the tour because of me."

And it was true. Everyone knew that Heeseung wouldn't forgive himself for getting sick and making everyone stay because of him.

"I'll stay" you said without much thought.

"What?" Heeseung was the only one who seemed surprised by your decision because the other four smiled at your answer. Almost as if they had expected it.

"Yeah, I'll stay here with you" your voice was soft, almost a melody to Heeseung. You sat him down on the sofa to straighten his body and turned to his friends "You can all go and… I'll stay with Heeseung."

"Y/n" he called without much strength in his voice, you couldn't hear him. You had heard him, but you preferred to ignore it and focus on your friends and how they made sure they had their phones on and were ready to leave wherever they were and go to you and Heeseung.

It didn't take long for your friends to leave for their late afternoon stroll, which could last into the night and even the early hours of the morning, depending on where they had gone.

You didn't know what had made you stay – maybe you did, you just wanted to fool yourself a bit – so you chose to take care of Heeseung the right way. You went to his room and fetched a blanket, stretched it over your legs, and sat down next to him.

"Do you know what time granny Lee measured your fever?" you asked him, waiting for an answer that came in seconds "All right, I'll set the alarm clock to measure it again in a while" you clicked a few times on your cell phone to set the exact time you should measure the temperature again.

Heeseung picked up the remote control on the coffee table and turned on the television, watching something that might be interesting just so he wouldn't be watching you so much while you leaned back on the sofa.

"Do you want anything?" you asked him, engrossed in the old movie he'd decided to leave on since there wasn't much interesting to watch.

"I do, but will you promise not to fight me if I ask?" your stomach almost rolled over at the thought, and you felt your heart racing.

Heeseung noticed the stiffness in his body, knowing what was going through his head. He was going to ask exactly what you were thinking, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable and it would be too bold after so long. Maybe the fever was messing with his head too much to think such a thing, so he had to act quickly so as not to get into a weird mood afterward.

"I feel like having some whisky" he whispered, "I haven't had any fever medicine yet, so… Could you get me some? Please?"

"Heeseung" you looked at him, the boy feeling his legs go limp with the intensity of your gaze. That would never change for him.

"Just a little, I promise I'll take the medicine later."

Maybe he would take the medicine after you insisted, or maybe he wouldn't and then you could turn to Hyojin to scold him. Either way, you got up and took the bottle of whisky from Heeseung, leaving it on the coffee table and sitting back down next to him.

This could have yielded a single glass, but he drank three. He measured the temperature – which was still high – and went for the fourth glass, but this time you managed to stop him. You pulled away from him while, under protest, you got up to finish Heeseung's drink.

"What… Did you say… Y/n" he whimpered as he quickly got up, falling onto the sofa and pulling the covers over his face.

Covered to the neck, Heeseung looked like a helpless little animal when you sat down next to him.

"I said one glass" you reprogrammed the clock on your cell phone to wake up for the third time and take your temperature again, hoping it had improved at least a little or you'd have to opt for a cold shower. Since Heeseung was drunk and couldn't take any medicine at the moment.

"It's okay, I exaggerated" he confessed.

I'm glad you know, you thought to yourself and let the television and the program playing play their part. Distracting the two of you while the hour passed.

Or at least it should.

Over time, Heeseung's body relaxed and he slid down the upholstery until he had the side of his thigh pressed against yours. You held your breath for a few seconds at the sudden contact but decided to let it pass since it was the only thing you felt from each other before he adjusted himself to sit up straight.

"Can I ask you something?" his voice was deep, his eyes focused on the crime series that was now on television. Heeseung could see the policemen running off without knowing where because their attention was focused on you sitting next to him.

"You can" you replied, looking at Heeseung's profile and holding back a sigh as you analyzed him. The pointed nose, the plump lips that puckered unconsciously as he thought.

You had already seen it up close and from every possible angle, but it was as if he managed to look even more handsome anyway.

"Have you ever really loved someone?" Heeseung's question made you stand still. If you were standing up or doing anything, you'd surely stop abruptly or drop whatever was in your hand in the same second "I mean really love, not be in a passion. I think they're different things, right?"

He stared at you after asking, and you didn't know you could feel your heart almost bursting out of your mouth with Heeseung's eyes so intensely on you.

"Why are you asking me this?" was the only thing that came out of your mouth without your voice sounding shaky and nervous.

Heeseung smiled awkwardly, looking down at his hands, which had pulled the blanket away from his body and even discarded the fabric on the other side of the sofa.

"Because I once asked Jake how you find out if you love someone" he said, "or what the difference is between infatuation and love. Love, really."

"You're not asking that because of the fight you had with Hyojin that day, are you?" it was your turn to ask, clicking in your mind the last heavy event between the Lee brothers. Hyojin had said something about him never being able to love and now with Heeseung's questions, you were starting to get confused, as well as nervous.

"Maybe" he shrugged, sighing quickly.

"Why? Have you ever really loved someone or did they just say it out of the mouth?"

Heeseung didn't want you to have asked that out loud, because he didn't want all the senses in your body to be like a magnet and for him to have slid down the sofa until he was even more glued to your body.

You don't know how or when the boy in front of you tilted his face towards you until Heeseung's warm breath hit your lips. You also don't know how you stood there, letting him come closer and one of his hands fit perfectly on your cheek.

"I never thought I could really love" he whispered, his warm lips sliding teasingly over yours. You fought fiercely against the urge to rush forward and kiss him, but at the same time you had to hold back as much as you could "I never thought I felt that way until—"

The alarm clock startled you both, causing Heeseung to move away so quickly that he almost threw himself across the sofa.

Recovering, you straightened your hair and clicked your phone so that the alarm would stop immediately. Your heart raced as you got up to get the thermometer and take Heeseung's temperature. He didn't take his eyes off you and remained still, knowing that you would do the same until you had finished checking.

"I think it's gone down" you showed him the numbers, seeing that it was a little better than before.

"Great, so can we pick up where we left off?" he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him. You wanted to continue, you wanted to hear more about what he had to say, but again the interruption surrounded you.

And this time by a group of friends who had just arrived from the city center.

The days went by without a hitch, without any uncomfortable interaction or even a tense moment between you and Heeseung. Although his words and gestures remained fresh in your mind, he didn't seem to mind treating you normally in front of his friends and sister.

Or at least that's what he wanted you to think. Because every time he went to the bathroom or walked away, you felt like screaming. Once again Heeseung was cowardly enough not to say anything at all to you. Once again he felt like he was picking up sand with his bare hands when he saw you become distant after that day in the living room of his grandmother's house.

Talking to Jake about his feelings and to Sunghoon about doing the right thing only made him feel even more stupid because he did everything the other way around. It wasn't possible that for his friends it was so simple and with him… It just didn't work.

Heeseung wanted to call you for a real talk, to look you in the eye once more and be able to say what he should have said over a year ago before deciding to walk away out of fear. You would laugh in his face and call him a coward just like Jake did. All right, his best friend had done it to lighten the mood after an almost two-hour lecture on how Heeseung hadn't understood any of the signs of feelings.

Clear signs that he really was in love, finally, with the first person in his life.

A long sigh leaves Heeseung's lips as he looks at the scene in front of him. Back on the pier in front of the lake, he preferred to sit on the beach chair and watch from afar. He couldn't help but notice how close Hyojin had become to Sunghoon over the last few days; perhaps it was the conversation or even something else. Neither of them had said anything, but he wasn't going to interfere either, after all, she was an adult and was going through a bad time. Sunghoon could help her in ways that neither he nor Jake could.

And speaking of Jake, he and Sora were frustrated with the attempts at a knitting class you were giving them. The only boy in that class cursed to the heavens when he missed a stitch and Sora undid everything to start again. But Heeseung's attention was on your laughter. How nice it was to hear it every time you tried to comfort them, saying that you'd been through it all years ago when Grandma Lee taught you to knit.

Heeseung remembers. Every little detail of that day and how he sat next to you to learn too. Or to be near you because the other four had gone out in couples and he didn't want to be the only one watching.

You were calm, you were good with the needle and the stitches Grandma was giving you.

"What design do you want me to knit?" you asked him after a few days, learning the basics and doing small things.

"Hm…" Heeseung seemed to think for a moment, looking ahead and focusing on how Jake was desperately shouting for Hyojin to help him down from the tree. He laughed a little along with you before returning his attention to the previous conversation. Heeseung bit his lip as he stared at you, a smile playing on his face as he thought desperately that he could kiss you at that very moment "How about a heart?"

"You want me to knit you a heart? That's fine" and it was then that you practice on the small knitting square was all done in hearts. At Heeseung's request.

He wouldn't tell you that he'd kept the first one you made in his closet drawer, even though Jake had already seen it and Sunghoon too, the last time they got drunk and he told you everything he felt.

"I don't think it's fair, you learned all this stuff in, I don't know… how long?" Jake was angry with himself for not being able to get a single point right.

"Less than a month" Heeseung let slip, not caring about the surprised looks coming from you and Sora "She knitted some hearts and granny was so proud because neither Hyojin nor I could learn. While y/n did it in such a short time."

Now Jake was surprised by the whole thing. Not with the heart information because he had already seen it, but at how it had all come out so casually from Heeseung's lips.

He remembered so many details that if he told them out loud, it might complicate things. Or not, because then you'd know he'd never forgotten.

"I'm so good now that I can knit a cap, for example" you shrugged as you got up from the pier floor, walking in the direction Heeseung was now with Jake. Sora had gone inside to get a coat.

"Do you have black lines?" Heeseung asked.

You looked for a while at some scraps you had in your hands, but none of them were black threads. Then, smiling awkwardly, you denied it.

"When we get back I can buy some and you can make one for me?"

"Sure" you smiled so beautifully that he clutched the arms of his chair tightly to stop himself from getting up and grabbing you right there.

"Dude, be less obvious" Jake said after you had followed the same path as Sora into the house, probably putting away your knitting things since you didn't need to leave everything there anymore.

"With what?" Heeseung asked.

"I don't know, with all this longing for y/n" he shrugged and then relaxed "If you haven't said anything about how you feel, I guess you could try going slowly."

Heeseung remained quiet, watching as Sunghoon's arm circled Hyojin's shoulders and she snuggled close to him.

"All this time you've been giving me advice and I just can't follow it" he laughed humorlessly, his fingers softening on the arms of the chair and his whole body relaxed against the backrest. Heeseung closed his eyes.

"Because you're a jerk and you're afraid of what you might hear from her" Jake mirrored his friend's actions, laying his head on the back of the chair and closing his eyes "I'll never get tired of repeating that" he whispered, opening one of his eyes to see if either of you were coming back from the house. Taking advantage of the fact that they weren't, he continued: "I almost peed my pants when I confessed my feelings for Sora. My heart raced so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack."

And that really was it. Jake told that story and wasn't ashamed if it meant he could help Heeseung with how he felt about you. Sometimes he knew that he felt the same way about Jake just by being in his presence, but it seemed as if the words were disappearing from his mouth.

"So she said she felt the same way and look where we are now."

"You're both beautiful, dude" Heeseung said sincerely, he loved his friends.

"And you and y/n too" he said back "I love you both and together with Hyojin I hope every day that this will be resolved soon" Jake straightened up in his chair and turned his face towards his friend, biting his lower lip to suppress a smile "You just have to take the initiative and make it work. You won't lose another year for fear of what might happen."

Lose another year. Heeseung didn't want it to be that long, he didn't think he could bear to be around you for another year without doing anything. Especially after what happened in the living room of his grandmother's house during the vacations.

He had to do something.

Getting back into the routine of work wasn't so bad, even with the day-to-day rush and even some unforeseen events in the sectors where they worked. It wasn't out of the ordinary and was soon resolved.

You were happy when you started seeing Sunghoon more often when he showed up at your apartment saying he wanted to take Hyojin out for coffee. Or even calling you for dinner somewhere because he didn't want to go home yet.

Sunghoon called you a few times too, but you knew it was only out of cordiality and you politely declined invitations to stay in the comfort of your apartment. Texting Jake and telling him about the – again – casual meeting they were having.

Hyojin deserved to be well somehow. And even if it was casual, it was going into the second month in the blink of an eye. Now she was able to show Sunghoon a little more affection in front of her friends and brother, hugging him from behind when he was sitting at the dinner table. Or letting him kiss her forehead in an act of affection when they were standing in line at the amusement park waiting for their ride.

Sora and Heeseung thought it was so cute the way the two of them were treating each other. You and Jake, on the other hand, liked to make fun of her because you heard Hyojin whining that she would never allow herself to sigh for another man. But it turned out that Sunghoon was another man and he was taking very good care of her.

Given the clichéd circumstances, Heeseung sat face to face with Sunghoon one day, listing all the atrocities he would do to his friend if he hurt his sister's heart which was still being mended.

Sunghoon, for the first time, spoke with conviction that he wouldn't do any of those things. Without mentioning the word casual or saying that they were just friends. Sunghoon agreed with everything Heeseung was saying and thanked him for his trust because he knew that, if his friend didn't do such an atrocity, he still had Jake and you to complete the job. Along with Sora who could very well devise an evil plan because he knew what she was capable of.

"She wouldn't do that, would she?" Sunghoon asked the two boys one day when they were all sitting around the dining table in their apartment because Hyojin had decided to cook. She had gone to the bathroom and Sora went over a plan in which she would pluck out every strand of his hair, depending on his mood; with a machine or tweezers.

Heeseung and Jake laughed nervously, denying it immediately.

"It would, and I think it would help in the process" you smiled at him, seeing him wince and try to say something.

But you all knew that Sunghoon wouldn't do anything to harm Hyojin because he started to like her. It was all so natural that the next thing he knew, he was confessing his feelings after four months of being together and she – for all his happiness – was feeling safe to say the same.

Hyojin was still afraid of what had happened to her, but after talking for hours with Heeseung – he ended up confessing how felt about you too – it led to a long time of crying, a huge apology and she encouraging him to talk to you. Then he encouraged she to give herself to Sunghoon little by little and if she was afraid, she could go back.

And that's what she was doing, gradually letting go as the relationship stabilized.

"I think I'm having a dejavú" Hyojin sighed as she filled wine glass, handing it to you and then filling hers too.

"Really? Why?" you drank a little, feeling the bitter taste of the dry wine run down your tongue. You used to prefer mellow, but today it was your best friend who chose it.

"The two of us, glasses of wine, here in the kitchen" she looked around and so did you, laughing as you remembered the six bottles you'd bought last time "Now we're here and I'm happy to be drinking."

"And I want it to always be like this" you confessed.

The smile on your face only showed that you were telling the truth. Not only you, but all your friends wanted Hyojin to be feeling well.

"Oh, it's Sunghoon" she said to you when her cell phone started ringing, asking for a moment before she could answer it. Talking to him for a while, you didn't even pay much attention to the conversation, too focused on your glass and how much the bitterness of the wine was starting to taste.

You even poured a little more and started drinking again.

"So?" you asked when she hung up.

"He and the boys want to go out clubbing" Hyojin drank all of her wine, refilling her glass "They asked us to come along."

"Now?" Hyojin nodded in agreement before going back to drinking.

"I'll stay here if you don't want to go" she shrugged quickly.

You had no business going out, especially since you were starting to get hot from the wine. It would even be more fun to be with the boys, although you also loved Hyojin's company – so much so that you lived together – but with more people, it would always be nice.

So you didn't have long to think about whether or not to go, finish off the bottle of dry wine, and run to your rooms to change.

In record time you and Hyojin were at the door of the nightclub and met Sora waving in the queue, running up to her so that she could hug you both at once.

"Are they inside?" Hyojin asked.

"Yes, I was saving a place for you two in the queue" she smiled, keeping her arm around you while Hyojin touched up her lipstick "They arrived not even twenty minutes ago."

The music was muffled outside, but as soon as you entered, the loudness of the speakers gave you the sensation that every organ in your body was vibrating.

Hyojin exchanged a message with Jake to see where they were and could find them without too much effort. The boy soon replied to the location and the three of you went to meet them.

Sliding past dancing bodies, drunk people, and false advances that Sora was expert at deflecting, either by being very direct and saying no thank you or simply pushing the inconvenient person who was trying at all costs to get into the pants of one of the three of you.

"We're here" Sunghoon waved from the table near the bar where only he and Jake were standing. You didn't even realize it when you approached them.

You and Sora greeted Sunghoon first and you quickly went to hug Jake, so they could greet their girlfriends with more delay than they wanted. Jake and Sora were already a common sight for all of you, but seeing Hyojin kiss Sunghoon right in front of your eyes was something new. Cute, and it couldn't go unnoticed.

You and Jake made fake vomiting noises while you could see Sunghoon's smile against Hyojin's lips before he stopped kissing you.

"You two are horrible" Sora tapped Jake on the shoulder to scold him, then glared at you.

It was then that they realized Heeseung was missing. If the boys had called everyone together, he would have been there. And indeed he was.

But your eyes couldn't believe that his hand was holding a woman's waist while she whispered something in his ear.

Your bile could be felt from your throat and you swore that the dizziness you felt could well have been from the wine earlier, but no. Why did you have to feel this way just now? Just at this moment. You've been out with your friends so many times and Heeseung was there, why did it have to be like this?

The only one to notice your discomfort was Jake, because the others got into such a lively conversation that they didn't even notice you standing there and looking in the direction your best friend was looking. He came closer, slipping one of his arms around yours to entwine them.

"It's not that, y/n" he said.

"I'm seeing it with my own eyes" you said back, pressing your lips together as Jake started to lead you towards the bar.

But before you could get there, Heeseung broke away from the girl and turned around so quickly that he almost crashed into you and Jake.

"Y/n" he ignored his friend's presence completely.

Jake took that warning as a cue to let go of your arm and get drinks, leaving the two of you standing there. He handed you a glass and left with two others, probably for Sora and Hyojin, you didn't even remember if he'd said anything before returning to the table.

Heeseung's eyes were on you the whole time, not saying a word as he alternated between looking at you and your mouth.

"I dismissed her" he said after a while, a little too loudly because of the music playing, afraid that you wouldn't hear him.

You didn't know why he had said it and you didn't know why it had, in a way, relieved your racing heart.

"You…"

"Hand around the waist? Whisper in the ear?" he ran one hand through his hair, easily messing up the strands that were beginning to grow "I held her because she almost fell, and she was whispering about how faithful I was to my girlfriend. That she admired that because she couldn't find a guy like that."

"Your girlfriend?" you frowned and felt like an idiot grimacing because the laugh Heeseung let out at that moment just made you want to disappear.

You had shown jealousy indirectly, and yet he had noticed.

The boy then approached you, took the glass from your hand, and drank some of the drink Jake had chosen for you. He then leaned close enough to brush his lips against yours, which were so cold from the drink that you almost moaned at the contact.

"Not officially yet" he said, sliding his mouth down to kiss the corner of your lips.

Before you could say anything else, Heeseung grabbed your free hand to pull you back to the table. Heading back to his friends to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Heeseung was determined. He couldn't wait any longer to tell you everything he felt for you. The day at the nightclub had made it clear that, at the very least, you felt something for him.

Attraction, passion, love. He didn't know. But there was something inside you that screamed his name somehow, and Heeseung wanted to find out.

Encouraged by Jake and Sunghoon, he finally rushed out of the house. As he stopped by the store to buy the pretext for that conversation, he sent a message to Hyojin.

I'm going out with Sunghoon, the apartment is all yours… Except my room! He laughed as he passed the cashier and paid for everything before getting in his car and driving to where you lived.

This should have happened a while ago, he couldn't have waited that long because the fear was still eating away at him. What if you could have cooled your feelings for him and confused everything? Maybe Heeseung had misunderstood and you only had a little empathy for him. Would empathy be right? Would empathy let him almost kiss you, touch your face, and brush his lips against yours?

No, Heeseung. He didn't want to sabotage himself so soon before he was standing in front of your apartment door.

His trembling fingers rang the doorbell and balanced the bag he was carrying.

Your footsteps could be heard from inside the apartment, followed by I'm coming, which you answered, probably putting something away or straightening up before opening the door.

Heeseung didn't hold back a loud sigh when he saw you. You looked beautiful. Even wearing sweatpants and a blue tank top that he remembered well – the tank top of the friendship between you and Hyojin. It was the color you two shared, by the way.

"Heeseung?" you were surprised to see him, but you still made way for him to enter.

"I thought… Well…" he took a deep breath, thinking about Jake's words.

Try it, man. Say everything you feel.

And then the little lecture Sunghoon gave him two days ago.

If you don't, you'll never know how she feels. And worse, you'll live with the ghost of a relationship that could be working just because you're afraid to acknowledge that, finally, you know what love is.

"I thought you could knit my cap now" he held up the bag, pulling out the black threads he had said a long time ago "Would you mind?"

Your broad smile indicated that, of course, you would never mind doing this for him.

"You've come at a good time, by the way" Heeseung sat down on the sofa while you picked up the bag to look at the things he had brought. Your smile still lingered as he remembered all the sewing details he could buy, even the support – which you had – to put on your thumb so it wouldn't hurt while knitting.

"Have I arrived? Why?" he asked, turning to you as you sat down next to him on the sofa.

"I ordered food" it was Heeseung's turn to smile broadly "Hyojin's out and I didn't want to cook, so I guess I ordered too much. Or enough for both of us."

For both of us. Referring to Heeseung as a collective together with you made his heart race in such a silly way that he swore he was shaking a little. Then he sighed, nodding in agreement when you told him to wait.

Would go upstairs to get your needles and whatever else was missing, which he hadn't remembered to buy so that you could start sewing the knitted cap.

He didn't want to get in the way of your sewing, so he was in charge of doing everything while you started.

It was Heeseung who went downstairs to get the food when you arrived. He was the one who set up the coffee table in the living room with all the utensils for the two of you to eat and he was the one who washed the dishes and got two bottles of beer from the fridge for the two of you to drink after eating.

His eyes met yours a few times while you stopped knitting, paying attention to the movie in front of you or what he had said about something from the day. It wasn't insignificant, but Heeseung couldn't think of much to tell you.

He wanted to talk about how his day at work had gone, but mostly he lamented how he felt like a coward and how Sunghoon cursed at him until it was time to leave. With Jake then? He couldn't tell you that he almost got beaten up by his best friend because Heeseung said he'd give up, let you live in peace, and wouldn't go after you to make you suffer.

So he only told you superficially, how it had been at work, how he almost broke the diffuser he'd won from Sora for a bet they'd made – he'd gotten sick eating four snacks in a row – and how he needed a cap. Heeseung could buy anyone at the store, but having an initial reason to come to your apartment and talk to you seemed more convincing in his mind than simply picking up any ready-made cap.

Not to mention that it would have a whole feeling because it had been made by you. By your hands. The hands he kept looking at while traced stitches and knots, wound the thread, and held the wooden knitting needle tightly.

"Is it okay if it's not ready today?" you asked, catching Heeseung off guard by hearing your voice so suddenly. He knew you had caught him staring at your hands, so all he could do was swallow and go back to watching the TV.

"Yeah" he replied briefly, letting all the air out of his lungs before saying, "Because I came to talk to you, the cap was just a pretext."

You didn't have to be a good reader to know that you had stopped all your sewing to look at him at that moment. Heeseung didn't want to move at all, let alone look at you while he heard his name called a few times.

What do you mean by a pretext? Was he just going to say that and be quiet, without answering any calls of his name?

You got tired of calling his name for the fourth time and decided to get up, dropping the needles and everything else you were holding, deciding to get another drink or anything that would keep you focused other than on the man who was ignoring you.

"Go Heeseung, you can do it" he said to himself as he punched the sofa cushions uselessly before getting up "Jake did it, Sunghoon is doing it… It's your turn!" he uttered those words as he walked to the kitchen in the slowest steps he had ever taken in his life.

Not even a boring college class could make him walk as slowly as he did. Heeseung felt pathetic for that.

Leaning against the doorframe, he could observe you a little more closely. Your fingertips played through your hair while the freshly opened bottle of beer sat on the kitchen counter. You tidied up the strands, loosening them and letting them cascade down your shoulders and back. You now held the beer bottle to your lips and took a long sip, as if it would help you relax while you finished swallowing and turned away.

"Fuck, Heeseung" he laughed, disentangling yourself from the doorframe to take a few slow steps toward him.

He didn't approach slowly, but close enough to get to you.

"I'm sorry, I—" he took a deep breath, alternating his gaze between your lips and your eyes. This didn't go unnoticed by you, but you decided not to say anything and just let him finish speaking "I just want to talk to you and I don't know where to start."

You laughed humorlessly, picking up the beer bottle again and taking another sip.

"How about the beginning?" the lazy smile, the shrug, and the lips pink from the pressure of the bottle made Heeseung sigh. It was now or never.

Then he came close enough to use one hand to grab your waist, pulling you towards him. The other went quite freely to the bottle you were holding so that he could drink, finishing off the contents in just three sips.

It wasn't a time for protest, but he knew you'd swear at him if you had the chance.

With a remnant of courage and his hand still on your waist, Heeseung used what strength he had to pick you up and sit you on the kitchen worktop, being able to stand between your legs and at the perfect height to lean over and get his face close to yours.

"Okay, we started in our last year of university, then" he said, this time staring into your eyes as he began to explain himself.

Heeseung had his first girlfriend when he was fifteen. An elementary school girl he met through some friends and suddenly they were together. Everything was going so well in their relationship until the girl told him she loved him. He could have said it back or even said it wasn't the time to say it back, but instead, Heeseung laughed. He didn't know if it was out of nervousness or because he found it bizarre that one person loved another like that, but he laughed. And that was the first time someone had broken up with him like that.

During high school, he also had other relationships. The brief ones couldn't be counted because there was no intense feeling, but the girls he spent a good few months with could all be considered to have ended the same way.

"I love you, Heeseung" they would say, their gaze not lying. A glow so intense and beautiful, Heeseung was envious because he felt that they all loved him.

"I… I'm sorry" was one of the answers he gave, if he could. Because silence often resulted in a slap or relentless tears that he couldn't get them to stop.

In university, his biggest disappointment was a few months before he had a relationship with you. Heeseung seemed to like his girlfriend, because he introduced her to everyone. Even you knew her, letting the girl join you for lunch a few times just because she wanted to be close to Hyojin.

Heeseung looked smitten in the eyes of all of you, telling you how much he liked her and how special she was. But as soon as those three words came out of his mouth, he froze.

It wasn't possible that a simple I love you could send Heeseung into a panic. This time he was sensible enough to talk to her and tell her that he didn't feel the same way.

At least she didn't slap you, he remembers Sora saying when he was crying in Jake's apartment, a week before he went to that party.

Maybe love wasn't for him and that was okay. All was not lost because Heeseung had managed to live well up to that point and he couldn't let it ruin his last year of university and, consequently, his future. So he decided that he would have fun, be with his friends, and not care about anything until he had to.

Waking up with you in his bed had been a shock because the two of you had known each other since the early days. You were Hyojin's best friend, you always treated him well and you respected Heeseung just as he respected you all the time. Perhaps circumstances led you both to do it and the relief that came when neither of you regretted it was indescribable. Then it happened again. Again and again it became so frequent that the two of you began to relate to each other beyond partying and drinking.

More often than not, you'd wake up in Heeseung's bed and he'd stay at your university apartment for a few days to sleep with you or just hang out.

You two are dating indirectly, Hyojin joked, which neither you nor he denied. So it went on until Heeseung felt strange. He felt an absurd need to be with you, his heart would race just to see you or feel you.

Of course, this was normal when you liked someone, Heeseung had already felt something like this… Hadn't he? No! He'd never felt it at that intensity.

"Jake, I need help" he punched the door to his best friend's room, grateful enough that it was open and he was alone, otherwise it would have been bad to ask Sora to leave because he needed to cry a little in Jake's bed.

"What happened?" the boy asked laughingly, but then began to worry because Heeseung seemed to be short of breath "Shit, dude. Breathe with me, okay?" he shook Heeseung with a notebook that was on his computer desk.

He seemed to be hyperventilating as he tried to breathe, counting in and out as Jake accompanied him. After a while he managed to calm down, sitting down on Jake's bed and watching his friend pick up the gaming chair to sit in front of him, the subject began.

"How do I feel when I love someone?" he asked.

"Heeseung" Jake said "Aren't you confusing feeling with passion again? I told you they're different things—"

"No bro, it's serious" Heeseung's eyes were already watering, not believing what was finally coming out of his mouth "How do I know that what I feel for y/n is love? Because I'm scared…"

Jake smiled broadly, explaining it to him in the next second.

Neurochemically, the brain reacts to the action by changing certain neurotransmitters. We then have an increase in dopamine, as well as rising levels of endorphin and oxytocin, the hormone of love, which increases feelings of attachment, well-being, and security.

Heeseung looked at Jake adoringly, listening to him explain everything he wanted to understand. It was as if he were at a consult with doctor Jake Sim.

There are also some signs, not neurochemically speaking, but which say a lot about how you found love. For example, you both feel comfortable even when you're silent. You make her feel good, in every way. And she does the same with you. You both feel free to be who you are, without fear of judgment or any bad thoughts. You always see her as one of your priorities or she does the same for you. You both admire each other. There's no room for jealousy – at this point, Heeseung sniffled a little – you don't think about what your old relationships were like either. And, most importantly.

That pause made Heeseung freeze, Jake's smile never leaving his face as he slid the gaming chair until he was kneeling next to Heeseung.

"It's the first time you've felt like this."

He knew it was. He knew that, for the first time, he felt like he loved someone.

Because everything happened so naturally. The casual way you treated him, the way you took care of him even though you didn't need to, and how you understood how he felt. It was strange that you cared so much about him like that, or took care of him down to the smallest detail.

Heeseung couldn't tell Jake how it happened when the exact moment was that he started to love you. If it was because you listened to everything he had to say and, even though you didn't understand, you smiled and asked him. You asked him to explain and took an interest in subjects that Heeseung swore no one liked to hear him talk about.

Or he fell in love because you had the best kiss, the best touch, the best sex, the best connection that anyone had with him.

Heeseung didn't know. He could have fallen in love with you when he laid his head on your shoulder in the college library, feeling you stroke his hair while you finished an extremely boring report. But still taking the time to cuddle him without any shame when Sora and Hyojin were sitting right in front of you. Or when you fought with Hyojin not to eat the ramen you'd bought, but as soon as he arrived saying he was hungry, it was the first thing you cooked for him.

Heeseung simply didn't know. It had just happened and he was sure of it.

"So that time I got weird and we drifted apart, it was because I got scared" he played with his fingers on your sweatshirt-covered thigh. You listened intently as you gazed into his eyes, too inviting to look away "I didn't know how to act and I thought it would be better to get away because if I found out what I felt, I didn't want to know if you didn't feel the same or not."

"Why?" he heard your voice for the first time since he started talking.

"Because then I'd be feeling everything those girls felt when they confessed that they loved me, and I know how much that must have hurt" Heeseung pressed his lips together, a little nervously as he lowered his gaze to your mouth, looking into your eyes again "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"For loving me?" you asked.

He denied it quickly, smiling simply as he rested his hands on the bench next to you.

"For running away. For being afraid and being a coward who couldn't bear the weight of loving someone for the first time."

As he spoke, you just nodded at every word he heard. Heeseung started to get even more nervous because nothing came out of your mouth apart from the questions he had asked and that could be interpreted as something negative. At least he had gotten everything out in the open and explained it in time.

"Can you say something? Even if it's to curse me, please" the plea was so cute that you laughed. The same action he did when someone confessed to loving him for the first time. Heeseung was almost peeing his pants like Jake when he talked to Sora, so he was really on the right track, he just needed to control himself a little.

"So can I curse you for taking so long?"

"You can" he said too quickly, mentally cursing himself for it because he sounded so desperate to hear your laugh again.

You didn't want to curse him, in fact, just watch how cute he was when he was nervous. But that would be too much torture and the pout he was making was already too kissable right in front of you.

Raising one hand to find his cheek, smoothing the skin with your thumb, you leaned in close enough to touch your lips to his. Heeseung whimpered in surprise at finally feeling that touch he had been longing for.

His hands grabbed your waist and pulled you tightly against his body at the same moment that the passage was given way and the two of you could intertwine your tongues.

The kiss, although full of longing, contained a slowness and sensuality that only the kiss shared with Heeseung could have. It was as if you were kissing him for the first time and all the flashbacks of all the kisses they had shared were running through your mind and him.

"Y/n…" he whispered against your lips after a while to catch his breath, his hands still on your waist while yours played with your hair and slid down to the nape of your neck.

"Yes?" you whispered back, feeling him brush his red, moist lips against yours once more.

"I love you" that phrase said for the first time to the person he was so sure of his feelings for. He just hadn't counted on it being in the kitchen of your house, of course, but the place was the least of it. As long as you were the one who heard it while he finished kissing you, everything made sense to him.

"Say it again, please" you asked.

Heeseung moved one of his hands up to the back of your neck, sliding his fingertips up to grab a good amount of your hair as gently as he could. He guided you so that he could kiss you again, this time with more intensity and urgency, pressing his lips and tongue together.

That way you knew he wanted to say everything at once. That he loved you, that he missed you, and that he wanted to apologize for the lost time. And you accepted it all because you were there with him.

"I love you, y/n" he said against your lips, panting and smiling as he slid his mouth over yours. "I love you so much" he kissed your skin, making your whole body shiver.

"I love you, Heeseung" you also whispered, feeling him squeeze the hand that remained around your waist and pressing you even tighter against him as if he wanted to merge your bodies into one.

Heeseung brought his face close to yours again, leaning his forehead against yours and smiling.

"You…"

"I love you" you repeated "I really love you."

"Then stay with me" Heeseung kissed your lips "To make up for how stupid I was to let you get away, I don't want it to happen again."

"You were an stupid" he murmured and you laughed against his mouth, watching him pull away enough to look at you. "But I'd be even more of an stupid to deny it."

"So we're together?" he almost shouted with happiness when you agreed, picking you up off the worktop and walking with you through the apartment to your bedroom.

"Yes, we are."

"And we're going to stay that way" he put you down as soon as he entered your room, looking you up and down and licking his lips at the sight "Because I love you and I want to remind you of that every day."

You were sure he would; with words, attitudes, anything that made you feel loved. And of course, you would do the same for him. Because you loved Lee Heeseung, just as he loved you.

© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

[beanghostprincess]

Sanuso with vampire Sanji not only has "I'll do what you can't do and you do what I can't do", but also "I'll feed you and you feed me"

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-

I love this. So much.

So I am not the biggest fan of writing Vampires AUs. I LOVE reading them but I don't think it's my style of writing?? So I never do. But-- But THIS??? Changing my life, honestly. Considering things. Thinking thoughts.

And it's extremely easy to make a plot for this!!!!!! The Vinsmokes are a family of vampires but Sanji is the only human thanks to Sora. Etc etc etc. Wano happens. Don't ask me WHAT happens but SOMETHING happens and Sanji starts slowly turning into a vampire. Worst time of his life for a variety of reasons (from not feeling human to being scared of hurting others and also all the bad things that come with being a vampire. Except for the sun thing because. Well. I want him to be able to be under the sun. Let's just say he's a mix between Vampire and Human).

It'd be so good to see Sanji starving because he refuses to drink blood and he wants to hide this from the rest of the crew. But Usopp inevitably finds out, of course, and he offers his blood to Sanji. And I am. Losing it because now I want to write a super homoerotic bloody scene in which Sanji is refusing to drink Usopp's blood because he doesn't trust himself but Usopp won't stop walking closer and closer to him saying that if he doesn't trust himself it's fine because he trusts him instead... And he says the whole "You cook for us all the time, so it's just fair. You feed me, and I'll feed you. Now drink before you are the first vampire to die out of stubbornness" thing.

I mean, vampires are like. Inherently romantic and erotic so this is just. Woah. Having a million thoughts. I need a MOMENT.

Also??????? Usopp being THE Vampire Hunter™ of the crew??? Imagine Thriller Bark Usopp x Vampire Sanji I am LOSING IT. Brain isn't braining. Maybe I die.

Putting aside the obvious nasty emotional bloody sex these two would have, Usopp would be,, So sweet to Sanji. Because he absolutely hates his situation and he isn't sure if he is ready to tell the others yet. Usopp is always offering him his blood and staying with him when he can't sleep and-- Adding little bat Sanji here??? Can Sanji turn into a bat??? Please yes yes. I want little bat Sanji to be the cutest thing and Usopp just. Loving him. His little bat boyfriend 😭 Usopp knows so many fun facts about bats while Sanji is like. So angry at first bc he has to learn how to change back and fly KJEJFJEFEKDJFNWLEKFNW They're so silly.

When Sanji doesn't feel human Usopp is always there to remind him that he is still himself after all. And Sanji is always scared of hurting him but also-- Have you considered Sanji only turning into a bat bc Usopp is even clingier with him then and he gets pats from his boyfriend? And he's always being so gentle with him too.

They mean the world to me!!!!!!!!!!! Vampire AUs my beloved!!!!!!!

[alexiethymia]

The Trigger to Sanji's (Germa) Powers

I'm sure everyone has noticed that it's been thrice now that Sanji's eyebrow has changed directions possibly signifying his shift to his Germa mode.

Now this won't be about (primarily) sanami since I think (quite ironically) the trigger for when Sanji shifts into his 'emotionless' Germa mode is actually his passionate emotions, and I would say primarily his anger and his drive to protect someone, which most often gets triggered in relation to Nami. I say that this won't primary be about sanami since I don't think Nami would be the only one to trigger that side of him. I think any life-or-death situation which would need him to protect Robin, for example, or any other crew member might trigger the shift. We just haven't seen it yet. I find it a bit ironic and also a bit sad that the first time this happened Sanji was struggling with what he thinks Luffy needs on his crew - the kind Sanji but the one who can't fight women, or the ruthlessly efficient yet emotionless Sanji. It's ironic that it would be his drive to protect his crew that might lead him to becoming the person he hates - but that is also on brand for Sanji, self-sacrificial as he is.

At the same time, it is also true that Nami (again ironic) might be the person closest to triggering that side of him. As many others have pointed out, he has already exclaimed so many times how willing he is to be a devil or demon if it's for Nami. I've seen some interesting observations about how Sanji is starting to mirror Hancock's speech patterns, like using 'insolent'. Which leaves me nervous, because apart from his kindness, Sanji is characterized by his humility. And him using the word 'beloved (itoshiki)'. (Again not discounting the possibility that the Sanji-Hancock parallel may be because of their 'unrequited' feelings). Which made me squeal (but apparently he has already called Nami, itoshi or dear before, anyway I digress). Again irony because apart from Luffy, it was Nami who saw him at his worst version when he pretended to be Vinsmoke scum and acting all high and mighty, the opposite of himself, and she absolutely hated it, driving her to despair. It's quite tropey but I worry about a scenario where Sanji willingly loses his sense of self for Nami (perhaps even Usopp or Luffy, with Zoro attempting to fulfill the promise to end him) and her absolutely hating it because of what it will cost them. Roaring rampage of revenge is a trope for a reason, and has never ended well ever.

Anyway, onto more lighter stuff. I absolutely loved these last two chapters! Sanji's game has been steadily improving in the New World, who would have thought? Honestly, Sky Walk (huhu, and now I cry realizing his new name for the move might have been a homage to Sora) might have been the best thing he ever learned since it lets him carry girls more often. But on Nami's side, I think she is actually getting used to being carried by him. Other people have pointed out the subtle shift to their dynamic. Like for meta reasons Nami is almost always asleep or unconscious for Sanji's gestures, but that may be changing like when she smiled happily at him when he caught her in WCI unlike in Thriller Bark, or even now when she's awake as he piggy-back carries her unlike in Drum Kingdom. I also love the subtle callbacks too like in Jaya.

This is what I mean (rip Usopp lol) about that subtle shift. Nami was sometimes dismissive when Sanji was being all silly like this ('Do you love me now?!' 'Hai, hai.'), but it's nice that she can sometimes act spoiled with him too.

BUT, BUT, mainly I loved these two chapters for the peak East Blue crew dynamic. Two idiots and three idiots' minders, with Sanji blatantly pointing out how Zoro enables Luffy. I seriously love their dynamic. With them finding Chopper in the most recent chapter, I wonder if Oda-sensei is referencing the One Piece Live Action here. A girl can dream haha (I mean I already thanked him for fulfilling my dreams. Like there was absolutely no reason to have the sanami princess carry on the first page, he could have had all of them together already on the ground level, but I will not say no to the fanservice).

[theblueprincess590]

The Winds of Youth-A Character Analysis of Ventus

Ventus began his story much like Sora, as a starry eyed youth who dreamed of broadening their horizons and seeing what lay beyond their small homes. Yet unlike Sora, Ventus had something to prove. Ventus wants to be an adult, wants to be his friend's equal and yet he is denied this time and time again. Everyone treats him like a child, they dote on him like an infant that needs constant supervision, They coddle him in his training never letting him from reaching his true potential, and worst of all they keep him cooped up in his room like a cage bird all while using their infantilizing of him to justify it. With his found family refusing to ever let him leave, to let him fight, and never teaching him anything more than the basics, The Land of Departure eventually becomes a prison surrounded by wind for the pure hearted boy. Making it no wonder that when the call to adventure finally arrived he grasped it without hesitation even if the hands that offered it were stained in filth and hate.

It is Vanitas who initially gives Ventus the push to leave his home and travel to other worlds. Doing so by nagging on Ventus’s insecurities and fears by implying his best friend Terra will no longer be the same person, that the earth will grow into a mountain higher than the winds can reach. However it must not be mistaken that Vanitas is just doing this out of cruelty. No Vanitas is using Terra to help Ventus justify his decision to leave. Vanitas is Ven’s darkness, his other half, and thus knows all that Ventus feels all he truly desires. He knows how desperately Ventus wishes to leave, to prove himself more than a child. So he gives Ventus what he has always wanted, a “justified” reason to run away, a chance for him to indulge in his selfish desires without any guilt. And this is ultimately Ven’s greatest failure.

Ventus left the Land of Departure not to save Terra but to indulge in his own desires of freedom. Terra was merely the just cause. After all if Ventus was really just acting out of concern for Terra then he would of voiced said concerns to Aqua or Eraqus, returned home after encountering Terra again in Radiant Garden, brought up the existence of a mysterious intruder in his room (which he only does when seeking praise from Terra and Aqua for “defeating” him), or most importantly of all he would of told Terra of the warning he received before Terra left when he had the chance but he didn’t because if he did he did then he would of lost his chance to prove himself. That is why Ventus continues his adventures after succeeding in his goal to find Terra because it was never about Terra in the first palace.

Yet the journey still holds a great meaning to it. Just like Sora’s adventures Ventus manages to make countless friends, each of who manage to help him grow as a person. Through the kindness of Snow White Ventus grows from one who needs protection to a protector  ultimately pushing him to save Princess’s Aruroa’s heart from Maleficent, which in term gives him the convention of a Hero that allows him to train alongside Hercules and Zack. Of course though it is not just strength that the Disney characters impart on Ventus but also wisdom and perspective. Through their adventures together Ventus learns what it means to truly have a dream, no longer accepting the aimless life he lived before and instead striving to become a keyblade master just like Terra and Aqua so he can truly be their equal. He learns what it really means to be a friend through the joy of Lea and Isa. Which in terms helps him come to better appreciate Terra and Aqua when he sees just how much their friendship made Stitch’s life better. And in the end discovers the true value of bonds when treasure hunting with Peter Pan, That a bond is not something physical but rather an invisible link that will always connect your heart to the ones you love. 

However these lessons can not protect Ventus from his cruel fate. He fights alongside Terra and Aqua in the Key graveyard despite his heart being weighed down by the tragic truth of his existence. Yet even with his inner strength Ventus only becomes a burden. Not only does his presence end up distracting Terra and Aqua but he is quickly incapacitated by Xehanort, reduced to a mere object by the old man yet again. And when he does manage to finally put up a fight in order to save Aqua he only ends up giving The Masked Boy what he wants. Vanitas reveals to Ventus that it was he who orchestrated this hero’s journey. Everything from the UnVersed to the disney world to Terra, Aqua, and Eraqus were set up by Master Xehanort and Vanitas to make Ventus stronger, so he could forge the X-Blade. From the very beginning Ventus was playing a rigged game, blindly following a shallow script of lies and deception all because it fed his ego, because it made him feel like a big man, like a hero. When in reality he was just a pawn. 

At least that's what Vanitas wants Ventus to believe. This “Coming of Age” Story may have been written by a Dark Imp but that doesn’t mean Vanitas has the right to decide its value. The path he followed may have been a lie but the friendships Ventus formed and the lessons he learned were anything but false. Ventus got stronger not because of Vanitas but in spite of him. It was Snow White, Cinderella, Jaq, The Three Good Fairies, Lea, Isa, Minnie, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Hercules, Zack, Phil, Stitch, Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Mickey, Eraqus, Terra, and Aqua who shaped Ventus into the boy NO the Man he is now. It was them who imparted on him the values that gave his hearts strength, that helped him push forward past the darkness, and that gave him hope, love, and Dreams. Not this Shallow Shadow. Which is why Vanitas can never defeat Ventus. Vanitas made no effort to understand others, no effort to connect with others, and no effort to change himself. He simply remained the same, a spiteful parasite that sought conflict and conflict alone. He visited the same worlds as Ven and yet never once formed a connection of his own, only filling the worlds with more hatred and violence. Even his pursuit of Ventus and the X-Blade was just to instigate further conflict with a second Keyblde war. And Because of his unwillingness to change Vanitas could never understand Ventus, even when his heart was bare to him in their final battle. Vanitas could only see Ven as the lesser half, unable to understand why he put so much value in his friends, why this wayward boy was so ready to die for them. And because he stay the stayed the same, because he indulged himself in violence and ignorance Vanitas lost to the only bond he ever had. As it was the shared D-Link between himself and Ventus that ultimately destroyed Vanitas.

Ventus began his journey with selfish intention masked as richness ultimately resulting in his free spirited time of youth coming to end through harsh truths. And yet he was still able to grow from it. Because just like Sora Ventus is at his core a kind and heroic person with his heart open to all. He sought not only strength but connections allowing the bonds he formed to change him, gifting him with great ideals and power through every new command, keyblade, shotlock, D-Link, and Command Style earned. All of which help him grow from a shelter child to a true Man, one who always puts his friends before himself, reaching for the first time in the series the complete understanding of the power of friendship “My friends are my power ands I’m theirs”   

[firedragon1321]

Corrupted DigiDestined AU

Aka- Another Digimon AU That's Me Just Spinning Gears and Playing With an Old Post

(This is not reboot continuity- I just needed a pretty picture.)

I've seen this concept done in three ways-

Outright turn the kids stereotypically evil. This works in the short term, but it's not good for character anaylsis/DigiDestined rotation. The "quick and dirty" option, basically.

Invert the Crests. So the Crest of Courage becomes the Crest of Fear. I found only one cool Tim Burton-esque art set that did this well. I can't find it now. But generally, I've never been satisfied with these. Especially because they have to work around the "Crest of Darkness" every goddamn time...

Work with the kids' weaknesses. So the Crest of Courage becomes the Crest of Recklessness. This is probably my favorite option.

I want to go more in-depth on the last one, and that's why we've gathered here today. Only instead of just working with the canon weaknesses...what if I tweaked the kids's pasts so their "worst event" never happened? What kind of people would they become?

Also alternate Digimon partners because wheeeee I like them.

(TW for mentions of abuse, manipulation, and hinted major character/child death.)

Tai- The Crest of Arrogance

Impmon-> Punkmon-> Loudmon-> HeavyMetaldramon

This was an easy one because he's my blorbo. The event I chose to erase was also an easy pick. What if Tai never brought Kari out to play soccer that day? I rotated this for a bit and concluded that the athletics aspect of his character would take over, making him a sort of asshole jock type.

Tai still possesses a natural charisma, leadership ability, and recklessness. But his rule is delivered with an iron fist. It doesn't matter if he's on the soccer pitch or in the Digital World. His rule is simply law. His leadership potential and cruelty are magnified to the point that even adults don't want to get on his bad side.

Tai's self-centered and not afraid to bash your face in if you disagree with him. Your name doesn't have to be "Matt" either. He thinks of himself as a great hero, and anyone who disagrees with him must be another antagonist there to ruin his day. But in reality, he's barely keeping the group together with glue made of terror.

Impmon may be a cliche choice, but I chose him for his Punkmon evolution line. They're still reptilian, while also being loud, belligerent, and always looking for a fight. I also just like HeavyMetaldramon in general. He's got a dumb name I can't help but love, plus he looks like another favorite who will come into play later.

Matt- The Crest of Manipulation

Gazimon-> Sangloupmon-> Astamon-> GranDracmon

Matt's "special event" was obvious, too. His parents never got divorced in this AU (an event that will come into play with TK too, naturally). Since this event controls a lot more of Matt's character than Tai's event, I had to think a minute for him. I decided to fuck with his sense of empathy and dub characterization. Because Matt can be as emotionally mature and sensitive as Sora, even if he can't always make that obvious.

So what if he used that trait for evil?

On the surface, Matt's the cool rebel of the group. His suave surface nature makes him easy to approach. One might even call him a friend, even if they know nothing about him. However, he knows how to play with feelings. Like any good instrument, you keep plucking strings until you get the result you and. And that's exactly how Matt views people. Before you can blink, he's got what he wanted and dumped you on the side of the road.

Astamon and GranDracmon are both smooth-talking demon Digimon. Astamon attracts a lot of followers, while GranDracmon can talk any angel Digimon into "falling down". I figured they'd be a perfect fit (though I was admittedly thinking of the Astamon from Young Hunters). Gazimon and Sangloupmon kept the canine theme without being Gabumon recolors.

(Fun fact- I've used this line before for an OC, but that character was (in the end) benign.)

Sora- The Crest of Ambition

Dracumon-> BlackGatomon-> Bastemon-> Lilithmon

It would have been easy to make Sora the emotional manipulator. Too easy. And it wouldn't have anything to do with her issue- namely, her controlling mother. But what if her mother was a little more lax? No- MORE lax than that. What if she supported her daughter no matter what- even if those ambitions skewed too extreme?

Woe be to anyone who gets in this Sora's way. It doesn't matter what she has her eye on. She'll get it, and she'll gladly step on you if you get in the way. She's never heard "no" before, and has no time or desire to hear it from you.

Her Crest of Love has become a type of Lust, but not in the sexual sense. It's desire. Passion. It's never-ending want. The cup is never full for Sora. There's still more drink to be had. There will never be enough.

I worked my way backwards from Lilithmon, choosing Digimon with mind control abilities and ambitious personalities. This means we get a recolor of Gatomon- despite my efforts to avoid recolors of the canon crew- but oh well.

Joe- The Crest of Sloth

Phascomon-> Porcupamon-> Mephismon-> Belphemon

Joe's "problem" in Adventure is also heavy expectations, much like Sora. Taking them away could result in an overly ambitious character. But for Joe, I went the opposite direction. What if he was a person with no ambitions at all?

Paralyzed by his own fears and no goal in life, Joe is more follower than leader. He carries out orders without a thought to his own life or safety, because he believes his life to be meaningless. With certain people in this corrupted crew, however, that means he's carrying out plenty of evil deeds. He's not necessarily evil himself, however- just without direction.

I worked my way back from a Demon Lord again- this time Belphemon. He's naturally the Demon Lord of Sloth (for those who don't live in the Digital World inside their minds). I chose Mephismon just to connect the Champion to the Mega, and also because he's a demonic Digimon.

And that's about it for Joe. I wish I could do more, but it's hard to add personality to a character with no goals.

Mimi- The Crest of Selfishness

Aruraumon-> Zassomon-> Blossomon-> Rafflesimon

Otamamon->ShogunGekomon (warp)

Mimi doesn't have family issues like the rest of the cast. The problem is she's spoiled. So instead of erasing her backstory, I decided to erase her character development. Certain events like Sora convincing her to leave the Gekomon don't happen in this timeline. They can't, after all, with how different everyone else is.

This results in a Mimi who only acts in her own self interest. Maybe not at first. Maybe she thinks the others are pure evil. But that changes. Thanks to the attention lavished upon her by the Otamamon and Gekomon, she's essentially Princess Mimi full time. Woe be to the poor idiot who gets under her high heels!

I decided to go with recolors for this line just because it made more sense to corrupt Palmon than to invent a new partner. Perhaps Mimi was originally a "pure" force introduced to keep the others in line. But her own flaws were waiting to consume her...

Also- similar to how Leomon was able to digivolve thanks to Tai's Digivice, one of the Otamamon gained the same power from Mimi's. That's why she has two Digimon. And you can bet others like Chuumon/Sukamon, the Numemon, and more follow the army of Princess Mimi.

Izzy- The Crest of Intellect

Hagurumon-> Mekanorimon-> Vademon-> EBEmon

I know what you're thinking- I'm a lazy-ass and replaced "Knowledge" with a synonym. And you're right! But with the event I removed being Izzy's knowledge of his adoption, his intelligence didn't go away. Instead of retreating, he expanded outwards. Think Ken when he was roleplaying the Digimon Emperor, but with no Wormmon to hold him back.

Izzy is smarter than you and he knows it. Similar to Matt, he's outplayed you before you can even say hello. He doesn't have Matt's charm, but he doesn't need it. You're too stupid to counteract him, anyway. He can hack your systems before you've realized a single thing amiss. Maybe he'll even let you believe things are fine for a day or two...

Like Sora and Mimi, he hasn't encountered any problems. A snag in Izzy's plans is always temporary. But hit him in his unstable emotional core, and you may have a chance of saving your laptop. But the resulting revenge is bound to be devastating....

I was going to do a full machine Digimon line, but then veered into Vademon. The big brain design caught my attention. Also, since regular Izzy had troubles with a Vademon, having his dark half master this Digimon has interesting implications for my brain.

TK- The Crest of Terror

DemiDevimon-> Devidramon->DexDoruGreymon-> Megidramon

Remember how I cut the divorce from canon? This means TK grew up with Matt, who- in this timeline- is an emotional abuser. And of course, his favorite target is his doting little brother, who will do anything he says.

Like Joe, TK's not evil. He just lives in a constant state of fear. He'll apologize as his Digimon tears you into bite-sized pieces- all while proclaiming his love for his brother. Whether Matt tells him to act as a distraction or kill, it doesn't matter. He'll do it, knowing he'll get no reward.

But TK wants a reward. Matt's his whole world. It's always been that way. Unfortunately he sees no other existence. Without Matt, he simply doesn't exist.

Megidramon is one of my favorite Digimon, so I had to squeeze him in somehow. I like to think TK's partner is a manifestation of his true feelings. Though he loves his brother, he's also disgusted by him. If given the slightest bit of leash, he'd turn the monster loose on Matt- and regret it for the rest of his life.

(And yes- a DemiDevimon did mess with TK in canon...convincing him his brother didn't love him...it's only a matter of time...)

Kari- The Crest of Despair

Salamon-> Meicoomon->Meicrackmon Vicious Mode-> Mastemon

Despair is kind of similar to Darkness, and I've seen it used on a few of these sorts of things. But it's not like "the opposite of Light is Darkness" because it's an actual character trait. And it's a direction Kari could go without her brother's love to support her.

Kari's in a similar boat as TK. She's lived her whole life with a bastard of a brother. But she also has a host of illnesses. Just once, she'd love her brother to visit her in the hospital. But he never came. Soccer was a useful excuse, or else his parents were too scared to command him.

Now, they're trapped in the Digital World together, and it's no secret that Kari's the chain around Tai's ankle. He certainly hasn't kept that information from her, finally losing his patience when she falls ill in Machinedramon's territory. She always held on to hope that he was a good big brother deep down. Now proven wrong, she's in a vegetative state of despair.

Like with Mimi, I just corrupted Gatomon instead of making a new character. But I started from her Rookie stage of Salamon. We're gonna pretend tri. never happened for this. As for Mastemon? Gatomon DID reach her Angewomon stage, and that data still exists within her. But it mixed with the dark despair created by her partner. Instead of falling entirely, she became a deadly being that exists between light and darkness.

Odds and Ends

This ramble does imply that evil Digimon like Myotismon were still killed. This was not out of charity. They simply got in the way and were disposed of.

The Digital World still chose the kids during the Greymon/Parrotmon fight, when they were young and innocent, having no idea what would happen in the future. Mimi was the OG damage control, with a pure and sincere nature that might be able to purify the others.

When Mimi failed, Kari's shining light had to take over. It worked for a little while- mostly for TK and Joe, who are not malicious.

When Tai polished off Kari's light, TK finally snapped. His Megidramon responded to his anger, attempting to destroy Tai. This Digimon ran into a blockade in the form of HeavyMetaldramon. Not sure which of the two would win this fight, but it would be cool at least. The loser probably wouldn't make it out alive, though...

As previously mentioned, tri didn't happen. 02 still could, with Davis/Cody/Yolei/non-evil Ken being the third attempt to keep these damn kids in line. Maybe they receive help from TK, Joe, and what's left of Kari. But that's an AU within an AU and I'm already tired.

Mimi never returned to the Real World when the castle has all she wants. She mostly operates from there, keeping in touch with the others via Digimon like Soundbirdmon.

That's about it. You can play around with this if you want. Just shoot me a credit/link so I can see what you did. I made this while half-awake at 10 PM so it's just a lot of bullshit, anyway.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Hey I thought I would you ask you something about the Digidestined that makes me really wonder about their relationships.

Minus any shipping,

Which Digidestined do you think brings out each Digidestined the best of themselves? It could be as a friend or a love interest.

The show seems to imply that DNA digivolving/jogress means they are matched together well, but is this really the case?

I think an analysis like this would be helpful.

I would agree that the idea of "brings out the best in the other/makes the other better" is not applicable to every single Jogress combination - and sometimes, it applies more to one side than the other, but it also really depends on the time and place the characters are currently at. While there is a certain theme of complementation going on between all existing Jogress pairs ("one is having something the other lacks"), they also don't make each other "perfect".

Personally, I would also always distinguish that Jogress compatibility doesn't equal romantic compatibility - it CAN be a factor, but is not the main theme in my opinion. But let me look at all individual cases... May be a looooong post!

Taichi: For him, it REALLY depends on what timeframe we want to look at, because it's incredibly context-reliant. To nobody's surprise, I gotta name the 3 characters that - aside from Hikari - have the greatest interpersonal impact on him: Sora, Koushirou and Yamato. Sora's influence makes Taichi softer and, as we know, makes him question his cowardice - she is indirectly responsible for activating his Crest for a reason after all and I still maintain that, despite the miscommunication that goes on between them throughout the series (OWG, Tri), him caring for her is pushing him to do his best. Yamato can be seen as complementary here, because, while Omegamon was never formed BECAUSE of their bond, Yamato still challenges his sense of courage, he makes him more contemplative and considerate in times of emergency (Dark Master's Arc, Tri, Kizuna). Yamato also pushes him to rethink his strategies, pushing him to be better - the problem is that they sometimes have to get physically violent for it to happen and that's not necessarily the healthiest approach. Koushirou is here for the simple fact that he enables Taichi to make the right decisions and even if Taichi still has a tendency to do things himself, he knows he can rely on Koushirou's strengths to do so (Adventure, OWG). Similarly to how he relies on Yamato, even though it has less of an emotionally visible impact. Long story short - he can be his most COURAGEOUS self when his heart, his gut and his head are in the right place. (Hikari can be mentioned here because she gets him to try to be responsible and protective thanks to their past experiences, but that should be self-explanatory.)

Yamato: Jyou and Taichi. Similarly to how Yamato has an emotional impact on Taichi, the same goes the other way round - I'm still ranking him after Jyou, just give me a moment to explain. First of all, both Jyou and Taichi used to have their rocky moments with Yamato, some involving punching, others shouting and accusations. You can argue that, as adults, a.) they have overcome most of their arguments and quarrels and b.) Taichi and Yamato seem to be much, much closer than Jyou and Yamato. I still maintain that, personality wise, Jyou is more emotionally compatible to deal with Yamato's temper. As said, most of Taichi's and Yamato's quarrels have been solved by now, Yamato doesn't perceive Taichi as a threat of his own sense of leadership and ability to be a brother anymore; he may still see him as a mirror displaying his own worst qualities whenever he's at his lowest point though. They have become good, close friends, that will always be capable of saving the world together, trusting in each other blindly; as mentioned here, I think that they are not necessarily able to save each other outside of that though. We may spin this into a direction that, Jyou is more compatible with Yamato romantically in my book; because he could look through Yamato's insecurities and, by being inspired by him, inspired Yamato in return as well - and activated Yamato's Crest after all. I know, I know, I may be biased and it's been a while since they've smiled at each other softly like they did in the Dark Master's Arc - but at least the stageplay validated me in how Yamato was eventually able to open up thanks to Jyou's encouragement. Long story short, both Jyou and Taichi tickled Yamato's sense of FRIENDSHIP in very particular ways - and this is remarkable, because Yamato is good at "finding people" (as in, doing investigations and knowing whom to contact), but not necessarily good at maintaining bonds. (Takeru may be mentioned, because he nurtured Yamato's protective attitude, but just like with the Yagami siblings, this can be seen as a given.)

Sora: Mimi and Taichi. I am a big fan of the idea that Sora and Mimi complement each other in the best possible ways - while Sora used to be the mom/big sister friend to take Mimi under her wing, protect and guide her, she encourages Mimi to bloom into a confident flower that got enabled to support Sora in all the ways she needed for once. Granted, Sora still struggles to accept Mimi's help, even as an adult, but the analogy of Mimi being the flower who softens the thorns in Sora's heart is just too beautiful to me. Speaking of hearts, if there is any other character that reaches hers in character-defining ways, it's Taichi. The same Taichi who, after saving her, vanished, caused her to look for him on her own while still protecting everyone in the back, just to end up reunited, with everyone having gotten stronger than before, helping her to realize that she indeed knows how to LOVE. As pointed out here, they are continuously on each other's minds, almost telepathically connected (as implied in the novels) - and similarly to Mimi, Taichi has a very strong impact on how Sora defines herself. Starting off as his football buddy and partner in crime, regardless of her gender, I still maintain that it particularly confused her when she got that hairclip from him, challenging her own identity problems and issues with femininity even more. And while I already said that there is an ongoing theme of miscommunication between them, up until Kizuna, the care and connection between them does not fully vanish. Mimi is the one who tells her to spread her wings freely (To Sora), Taichi is the one who tells her that her caring attitude is not a flaw (Tri) - she still has to embrace both of that first though and since she currently prefers to take a bit time for herself, we gotta wait and see if and when that might be the case...

Koushirou: Taichi and Mimi. I will try to keep this briefly, as you all may already be familiar with my stance on this anyway, but still: Without Taichi, Koushirou would not have gone to Summer Camp. Without Taichi relying on Koushirou's skills, enabling and encouraging him, the group would not have saved Sora, would not have been able to solve the card riddle and get back to the real world, would not have solved The Prophecy, would not have been able to find medicine for Hikari... You see where I am going with this. Koushirou, according to the novels, used to not think very highly of himself as a person who also didn't get along well with other people - and Taichi just naturally took him under his wing, invited him to camp, indirectly helped him to believe in his KNOWLEDGE and skills more and become more of a hands-on person, which naturally led to him become a guidance and eventually a mentor and teacher for his friends and especially the younger kids. Basically, he could open up and become more vocal due to his bond with Taichi (again, literal novel quote), being his best friend, right-hand-man and partner in crime, solving riddles and saving the world together. The other person who makes him get more vocal at times is Mimi - not only does she challenge him to question his own approaches by having a completely different priority system (positive!), but also makes him question his wardrobe (slightly less positive in my opinion and I still wish I could name Sora as honourable mention at this point, because fashion could have been a wonderful bonding and development theme for them, but they simply never got executed like that!). The fact that both Taichi and Mimi cause his polite attitude to fade at various points in the series is a clear indicator that they have an impact on him like nobody else - especially because he is very connected with a lot of people online and makes sure to keep everybody always up to date, but is not necessarily the most social butterfly outside of Chosen Children duty.

Mimi: Sora and Jyou. I'm not sure who deserves spot 1 and who gets spot 2 here, because both of them have such a vital influence on why Mimi is as confident in herself as she is. As already mentioned in Sora's part, Sora has been protecting and guiding Mimi ever since they have known one another and it's quite obvious that Mimi, despite not aspiring to be like Sora at all, still greatly admires her and all her qualities. When Mimi loses her way, she knows she can rely on Sora to pull her out of it - which is exactly why their bond, Sora's kindness and encouragement helped to make Mimi's Crest glow for the first time, making her admit her faults and wrong-doings. And Mimi, despite her outspoken, opinionated attitude, needs encouragement. Which is where Jyou comes into play - not only was he the one to accompany her on her pacifist path of self-discovery once, but he was also by her side when she needed to vent over her insecurities and self-esteem issues twice. Making her be her most SINCERE self. Which in both cases, was a mutual experience, as I will go into detail about down below. Long story short: Both Sora and Jyou are capable of making her open up in the most genuine way, she feels safe and loved by them in ways nobody else can. Because even if they (indirectly) scold her for things she does wrong - they still do so softly, signaling her that she is fine the way she is. (An honourable mention here goes out to Stageplay/Kizuna!Koushirou who inspires Mimi to try out "something with computers".)

Jyou: Mimi and Yamato. Due to the consistent trope between Jyou and Mimi, I am very inclined to put her before Yamato in this ranking, but in the end, the theme between them is very similar. As pointed out before, Jyou decides to join Mimi in the Dark Master's Arc, primarily to protect her - but through witnessing and admiring her for finding her way, he felt inspired by her AND Yamato to go search for his own path, approach and attitude towards basically everything. It's something that both of them trigger in him at various points; even when he ends up questioning his intentions and motivations again, Mimi's sincere way of opening up to him (Tri) is what brings him back on track himself as well, allowing him to be honest to her and to himself. Not only that, Yamato (stageplay) validates him in believing that it all comes down to choosing for yourself to stay on track. Yamato (Adventure) who had once left the group, leaving Jyou in particular with the wish to believe in himself and his qualities. It's just a wonderful theme that keeps coming up, that helps Jyou to develop such a strong aura of confidence, which in turn makes him the senpai others actually feel capable of opening up to freely and safely. Which is significant considering how busy (and/or absent) he is most of the time. He IS Mister RELIABLE for a reason, so his validation causing Yamato's Crest to glow and Mimi to be confident enough to reach Ultimate level does mean something...

Takeru: Hikari (and Iori as honourable mention). You may or may not personally be pleased by the fact that Takeru and Hikari took the longest to conduct here. This can technically be seen as a negative, since it may imply that Takeru's bond with other characters doesn't go deep enough. Don't get me wrong, he DOES have bonds with QUITE a few other characters, he's looking up to Taichi a LOT, he loves to quarrel with Daisuke, he seems to know what is going on in Sora's and Koushirou's lives, his path from despising to trusting Ken is incredibly interesting, we already know that he and Yamato would die for each other and so on and so on... But you get the sense that he's not letting anybody really in too closely - which, as I observed before, applies to his brother as well. On the other hand, it also means what I already said in previous analysis posts: That he and Hikari are too glued together by the hip to let anybody else really come in between. There may have been times when one could have called it codependency, but considering all their parallels, everything they have seen and have gone through together, it can at least be assumed that they overcame some of their communicative barriers by the time of The Beginning. As much of a fun little time-killing exercise it may have been, he still spent his time practicing his fanfiction world-building skills with her and while the viewer cannot tell how much they have been talking about and processing their trauma, their brother complexes, etc., you simply cannot deny that they have consistently been there for each other. So one can only hope that he has stopped projecting his own overprotective brother tendencies onto her (ever since Tailmon called him out on them in 02), taking off the masks he has been showing a lot of people. Allowing himself to be the HOPE to her Light so to speak. I still want to give Iori a small honourable mention, because while I maintain that Iori "profits" more off of their relationship, I do believe that there was a time in 02 when he was also capable of making Takeru softer, offering him a bit of a mirror to himself.

Hikari: Takeru and Miyako. While the same issues apply to Hikari that have been mentioned with Takeru, her case is still a little bit different. Of course she had been hyperfocusing and depending on her brother for big chunks of the series and while she doesn't seem good at letting others in too closely either, her kindness still attracts people around her - including Takeru, who, as described, is both parallel and sidekick to her. You may already refer to them as trolls and partners in crime - and Hikari intended to stop depending on Takeru for protection as well, wanting to be equals ever since 02. Which, by the looks of it, may actually be the case, considering how they have been fighting rampaging Digimon side by side in Kizuna almost in sync. Again, she is acting as the LIGHT to his Hope. On the other hand, there is also Miyako, who, in contrast to Hikari, is loud and brash and tells the world when she doesn't like something - which is a skill Hikari basically longed to develop herself. So her admiring Miyako to at least some degree - while also being admired and encouraged by her in return - may have been a trigger that allowed her to grow more and more confident, balanced and equal to Miyako. As well as to Takeru too. And they may only grow further from here...

Daisuke: Ken. Daiken are probably THE prime example on how a Jogress combination gets the best out of each other. Simply because them working on their bond, their friendship, drags them away from toxic or dangerous habits (playing roles, hiding behind masks to impress others, bragging, catastrophizing, self-sabotage, etc.) and instead helps them to focus on what's really important. Daisuke gets naturally more comfortable, confident, downright happier and more enthusiastic thanks to Ken; his wish to BEFRIEND Ken basically makes him discover his own sense of COURAGE... There simply isn't a better example than this, because nobody else makes him get as honest as Ken does, as he basically plays a role towards everyone else (Hikari, Takeru, Taichi - and especially with the latter, it's a shame, because he used to look up to him, but finds his own style along the way, which never got that much focus...).

Ken: Daisuke. It's the reverse situation as described above, Ken is being enabled to overcome or at least deal with a lot of his self-esteem issues thanks to Daisuke's encouragement. The best thing is that, as soon as he opens up thanks to Daisuke, literally letting all of his KINDNESS shine through, he is capable of forming (potentially beautiful) bonds with several other Chosen Children and may have the greatest growth with the members of his core group (Iori, Takeru, Hikari and Miyako) than any other 02 kid. And in contrast to what I've said at the beginning of the post, Ken and Daisuke may or may not also be romantically compatible after all...

Miyako: Mimi and Hikari. While there are other characters who have an impact on her behaviour, I would argue that these two may have the biggest influence on how Miyako defines herself. Her identity and self-image are basically challenged by how she perceives these two; Mimi is oozing freedom, self-expression and brazenness when Miyako meets her for the first time, which are not only things that make her look up to her, but also things she would like to possess herself. Hikari is on the other end of the spectrum, she appears to be more reserved, collected, lady-like - and still possesses a drive, confidence and courage that Miyako admires. Her bond with both of them makes her more confident and also more SINCERE and LOVING, more aware of herself, her flaws and limitations, while also making her softer. (I would LOVE to add names like Sora and Koushirou here too, but they did not have screentime nor long-lasting "revelation" appeal to her. Sure, they both basically made her see that it's okay not to jump if you don't feel up for the task, but overall, they didn't have too much effect on her in comparison.)

Iori: Jyou and Takeru. Koushirou gets an honourable mention here, because he doesn't get nearly as much opportunity to see Iori at his lower points or have meaningful emotional moments as the other two do. Jyou and Takeru get way more opportunities to get to know and bond with him - we all know he still gets the shortest end of the stick in terms of screentime and relationship development, but it's still interesting to see how he loosens up, softens thanks to what he experiences with and observes through them. Takeru and him both have a lot of pent-up anger, but Iori learns that lashing out for revenge may not be the right path. Likewise, Jyou used to be a lot more tense and stiff on rules when he was younger - and is now teaching Iori that it's okay to take things easier, to be kinder with oneself. Plus, neither of them treats him like "a child/the youngest" and so he gets the best of both worlds, making him become more resilient through the gained KNOWLEDGE and letting him take on tasks to show his own RELIABILITY.

[rainofthetwilight]

Would this scenario happen? Probably not but thats the beauty of fiction✨️

You wanna know who else will pull punches? You wanna know who understands what it feels like to want to feel important, powerful, useful just because he has been possessed by someone like that?

You wanna know who, despite everything. Would most likely not want to hurt his first student? You wanna know who probably understands what Arin is going through?

Who understands that resentment (he resented his father once)? That hatred (someone he knows hated him like that once)? Who time and time again have had people he cares about be villains?

If he could give all those people a chance. Why not you?

The situation was out of control; wolf warriors were everywhere, the gong was ringing in my ear louder than ever, we just got Kai back but at the same time 2 of the forbidden five was released, commands and orders were thrown and shouted in every direction.

But a midst it all.. there was you

You never felt you were good enough

You were hurt and misguided

You who were confused and felt small

You who i won't be able to understand but yet i understand fully at the same time

You who switched on us, but i forgive you

Because your a student and i'm the teacher. Your a child and i'm the adult (yet i was your age for the worst parts of my life)

You fought with our teachings (my teachings), you used all your knowledge that you know about us. I'm proud

You avoided me, despite everything you didn't want to hurt me. You fought with everyone else tho (even sora)

I could never hurt you, but i can tell the gong makes you want to hurt me. Its chipping away your kindness, your resentment is growing.

Before i knew it we were fighting, you knew my every move, but i'm more experienced

But i could never hurt you

Dodge. Parry. Dodge

Your technique is great and i could see you using the teachings we've shown you.. i've shown you

But i could never hurt you

Dodge. Parry. Swing. Dodge. Parry. Jump. Dodge. Parry

You were screaming; yelling. I was quiet

I asked why? Because i could never understand yet i understand so much it hurts.

I've seen this before and it hurts everytime

(I could never really learn could I?)

But i could never hurt you

You knew all about us, i've listened to your rambles about us, did you know about pythor? The quiet one? My dad?

Deep down i knew you just wanted to be useful, to be seen, power was just a disguise wasn't it?

Dodge. Parry. Dodge

You screamed about how i didn't understand, couldn't understand.. because i was the green ninja, i was always important, powerful, chartered in every prophecy and history books. How right and wrong you are

But i could never hurt you. So i kept quiet

Dodge. Dodge.

You started crying, you were hurt. Despite me trying not to hurt you i still hurt you. You were getting sloppy, your emotions getting the better of you. You were as much the child you truly are (yet you are older than i was)

I didn't wanna fight you anymore

I heard yelling in the distance, but your tears stopped me from listening

...

I let you hit me, the gong was ringing in the distance but i knew it won't effect you anymore

I held you, you were hitting me. But i could never hurt you

I told you how much i cared, how much i love you, how much i see myself and others in you. How important you are to ME and others, how you were always good enough; your mind was just being cruel to you. How amazing you are, how despite not being written a prophecy you managed to be something incredible. How much your parents would've still loved you, how proud they are. How proud I AM

You stopped hitting me (thats good because i stopped feeling and thats bad)

You started crying again, but not of hurt. Because of guilt

But thats okay, i've felt this before and i forgive you

You were apologizing, you held me as if you were scared. I could hear someone screaming (Kai seems distressed.. we should check up on him)

I held you

I could never hurt you

..

.

.

I could never hur-

"Lloyd-"

OH. OH OKAY. OH. I SEE HOW IT IS.

GODDAMNITBDNSNFNWMRBFMWNDNDJSJ WHAT THE FUCK....DHSNNGNSMFNQKQKEKDNKS WHY AM I ACTUALLY ABOUT TO CRY HOLY SHIT????????

UGHDHJDBFNDNDNFNFN TUMBLR USER MAIPRIM I LOVE YOU (/P) FOR THIS WHAT THE HELL

AKSJDJSJNRNANWN DUDE.....THE WAY YOU ACKNOWLEDGED HOW THIS WASN'T THE FIRST TIME LLOYD SAW SOMEONE HE CARES ABT BECOME EVIL...WHAT THE FUCK /POS

HOW HE KNOWS HOW ARIN FEELS...HE KNOWS...HE KNOWS HOW HURT HE FEELS HE KNOWS THAT FEELING AUSGDJRJRJJWJRJEJW

HE FORGIVES HIM BC HE'S STILL A CHILD...BC HE KNOWS HOW HE FELT THE SAME WAY ONCE....OUDGDHEJWNKWJFJQJENDJSJSKWKKWKWK

UGDHHDHDBDJDN OH MH GOD YOU LITERALLY POPPED OFF WITH THIS I CAN TALK ABT SO MANY THINGS???? THIS PERMENANTLY ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY HOLY DSMFJKSNDKDMQMMDMSMFMD

I AM GONNA KEEP THIS SPINNING AROUND IN MY HEAD FOREVER WHAT....WHATTTRRNSMENFKWKRKRKKDMTMW

I DON'T THINK JUST KEYBOARD SPAMMING WOULD EXPLAIN HOW INSANE I AM OVER THIS?????????? MY EYES LEGITMATELY WENT WIDE??????

[toothlespoggers]

AAAAAAAAA STIMMING STIMMING JUST WATCHED EPISODE 4 (I think) OF THE NEW SEASON OF DRAGONS RISING AND BOY THIS SEASON IS SUCH AN IMPROVEMENT FROM THE FIRST AND ITS SO GOOD AND ITS AMAZING AND COLE IS SO FUCKING GAY FOR THAT GUY AND THEYRE SO GAY THEYRE SO GAY, THAT GUY WHATS HIS NAME

DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE LONGINGLY LOOKED AT COLE NOT ONLY HAS THIS SEASON FIXED ALL THE CHARACTER WRITING FLAWS THAT THE PREVIOUS ITERATIONS OF NINJAGO HAD BUT IT ALSO CONFIRMED COLE GAY HE GAY FOR THIS MAN, THEYRE SO GAY, NO ONE STARES AT ONE PERSON THE WAY THIS GUY DOES AND ISNT GAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND ZANE WITH THE FRONICKY PLUSH AAARGHHH I CANT BELIEVE THIS THEYRE LETTING ZANE REST? WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING YALL EVEN IF TUMBLR HASNT EXPERIENCED ALL OF MY NINJAGO OPINIONS, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS THAT ZANE NEVER GETS A BREAK. HES ALWAYS WORKING, HES ALWAYS FORCED TO GET UP AND DO STUFF BUT THIS SEASON HES PLAYED VIDEO GAMES AND STAYED BEHIND, HES CHILLING WITH THE FROG MAN AND ITS SO GOOD AND AAAAAA I WANNNA WATCH MORE EPISODES BUT I WATCH IT WITH PEOPLE SO I HAVE TO WAIT BUT IT IS THE BEST.

I love the ninjago writers SO MUCH if anyone has like any information on the behind the scenes decisions and stuff that’s gone into the development of this season that’s changed and improved the previous issues tell me I wanna know! Argh I’m so happy, they finally gave Cole a family outside of the ninja team because let’s be real Cole was kinda sidelined for ages he needs a nice family of people who respect him and also he needs a hot purple boyfriend to look after him!

Lloyd isn’t an npc, he’s a human being with flaws?? Like actual? Logical? Flaws? He’s not just a main character anymore?? His flaws aren’t even super annoying either. And like CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW FUNNY IT IS THAT TIKTOK AND YOUTUBE CANONICALLY EXIST? THE NINJA ARE LIKE, TUMBLR SEXYMEN??? IN THE LEGO UNIVERSE?? THATS SO FUNNY, WHAT?

all the jokes feel like actual people talking, the writing feels natural for the first time in years! Zane isn’t constantly abused, he’s happy and frog man is the best character and if Lego doesn’t immediately release mini figures for frohicky and all the other minor characters that are pretty important I’m going to Sue.

also I haven’t watched the next episode but if it doesn’t explain what happened with Zane to end up with a frohicky plushie I’m going to go ballistic, alright?

Hot take but I’m glad Jay isn’t there anymore ik he’s probably going to come back but he’s honestly the worst ninja nowadays. And also, KAI CHARACTER ARC FIXED??

KAI ISNT INSUFFERABLE UNLEARNING AND RUDE ANYMORE HES AN ACTUAL GROWING CHANGING PERSON NOW, AND LIKE I USED TO HATE THE SELF INSERT NEW GUYS BUT THEYRE SO WELL WRITTEN NOW IT JUST MAKES ME LIKE EM’ and sure Aaron can get a little annoying but he’s so autistic coded like openly autistic coded he’s like “is there a social cue I’m not picking up on?” COME ON, MAN. COME ON!!

also like I said, girlie, baby, Sora, honey, you are the GOAT. WE STAN!

also if something ever happened to Zane couldnt sora just like, fix him on the spot?

my only complaint is the fact the ninja haven’t just taken off the masks before the wolf people turn all magic-y like bbg just take it off.

one last thing, JUST SAY CHIMA, WE ALL KNOW THAT GUY IS FROM LEGO CHIMA DONT HIDE IT EMBRACE IT. AAAAA

also that skeleton lady kinda..

Look I’m an undertale fan I have skeleton brainrot, ok? Don’t judge me

[strayheartless]

Here have some anxiety ridden Squall Leonhart as I have a panic attack on a train platform!

Squall has had anxiety pretty much his entire existence. When he’d first been told that it wasn’t Normal to analyse every detail of his interactions with people his exact response was “must be nice” because he genuinely doesn’t know what that feels like.

His anxiety could possibly be called crippling, but only because it renders him non-verbal sometimes. Most people think he’s just being difficult but the people who love him have come to realise that it’s a strange consequence of his fight or flight reflex that renders him mute.

Meeting Cloud for the first time had kind of been a relief. The man wasn’t Anxious like he was but his reactions guilt and exhaustion were a mirror of Squalls subconscious need to control the syllables caught on his tongue. Cloud understood that sometimes speaking felt like a monumental task and Squall could have cried when the Amman had understood him.

Dealing with Anxiety while in a relationship was interesting. Rinoa had known he was anxious but he’d never told her about the fear of her leaving, or the panic that gripped him when she was annoyed about something and hadn’t told squall it wasn’t about him. It was never her fault that Squall got in his own head, and she always tried to help, but Squall felt trapped in a spiral.

Cloud seemed to have a better handle on Squalls panic. He seemed to predict it so well that when Sora bounced in one afternoon, looked him up and down and then said “do you need anything?” Squall knew Cloud had been teaching people how to recognise his stress.

Cloud holds his hand when he starts to bite his nails. He untangles his fingers from his hair and places a hand on his knee when it bounces. The tiny murmur of “breath lion” followed by a demonstrated breath has saved him so many times

Squall still can’t communicate that he worries Cloud is mad at him but Cloud always seems to be one step ahead of him. “Squall look at me. I am not mad at you. Something happened with a delivery that irritated me, but it’s nothing you have done.” Cloud just knows and it settles a lot in Squall.

Another part of Squalls Anxiety is not knowing where people are or if they are okay. Cloud has had to make serious changes to the way he operates while dating Squall because coming home to the mess he did the first time want an option. During two weeks of worrying Squall had shut down. Now he gets a phone call every night and a text at every delivery stop. It should annoy Cloud, but for some reason for Squall it feels like the bare minimum.

He also worries where Sora is ✨always✨. There is not a single moment of the day where a little voice in the back of Squalls head doesn’t whisper “he’s dead somewhere” and Squall will end up panting over the kitchen sink as he tries to calm down.

It’s not so bad when Sora is with Donald and Goofy. Squall can just flick on the Gummy ship tracker on his computer and see where they are. It’s even better then Sora has the Gummy phone. But when Sora disappears it’s not just Riku and Kairi who are freaking out. Squall doesn’t sleep most nights because of it.

Sora’s disappearance is possibly the worst his anxiety has been since he was 17 and isolated. He doesn’t talk a lot of the time, he barely eats. Cloud spends a lot of time soothing his more harmful habits, while Aerith, yuffie and Tifa all try to make the House as stress free as possible.

He takes up knitting on Aerith’s insistence, and Tifa’s got him learning Zangan meditation techniques to take the edge off. Cid is being very Cid about it and sitting in Squalls office when no one else can. Merlin makes sleeping drafts to knock him out, and even Riku is sitting with him to try and help him process some things.

Squall feels the guilt of that one acutely and tries to avoid the teenager at all costs, but Riku is patient when he tells Squall that helping him helps Riku process some of his own worries too.

In the middle of the night when the anxiety induced night terrors bother him so bad he can’t breath, Cloud will sit up with him and help him through the worst of the trembling; laying him back down and talking him though getting his speech back.

Ahhh okay, still gunna have a wee panic but it feels a bit better now

[box4brains]

Headcanons incoming!

Mostly concerning Trafalgar Law, but also the world of One Piece as a whole and the Heart Pirates, so…. Spoiler warning?

Law has perfected the art of being both simple and easy to understand while being so complicated and complex about it he’s almost incomprehensible and impossible to figure out. Mostly due to the fact that he gets insanely impacted and influenced by his past. Example;

His favorite food is rice and fried fish, because rice was his favorite food as a kid and his mom would always make a new, delicious rice dish on his birthday (he would request this instead of cake).

Which while it makes sense that rice is a favorite food, grilled/fried fish is less so, because it became a favorite of Laws while Cora-san was dragging him from hospital to hospital. They would often fish and eat it, often slightly burnt and without any seasoning. Still Law loves it, and if he had a sappy bone in his body, he’d probably say “it tastes like love” or something.

Basically, both rice and fish is his favorite food because they are his comfort foods. He’s not aware of that however and would probably never eat it again if he figured it out.

Laws love for comic books heroes (specifically Sora) and his love for medicine stems from the same place. An admiration for people who saves the lives of others. He no longer remembers, but he used to look at his parents with pride and love because in his eyes “they (were) superheroes”.

Flevance was extremely rich and flourishing, and healthcare was free, the notion that someone could die because they couldn’t afford healthcare was a terrible chock for Law and further cemented the idea that the world was a terrible place and didn’t deserve to exist once he escaped after the purge of his homeland.

In fact, a lot of Laws revulsion towards the marines and the government stems from the fact that they “pretend to be Sora but they are Germa”. In other words, he hates any and all pretenses (which is hilarious considering he often plays up how much of a bad guy he is) and will not sugarcoat anything even if his life depended on it.

The creation and sustaining of false fate is the worst crime in his eyes. And while he loves a bunch of people who have done this to him, he doesn’t fully forgive them for it, though he understands. (The nun, his parents and Cora-san are people who hurt him irreparably with their actions and he can’t forgive them for it, but he loves them and understands regardless)

Submarines are forbidden by the world government, that’s why you see so few of them in the one piece world. They were originally made for transport across the calm belt but because they could only be made so big before they became a liability, they are/were extremely expensive to make, they were eventually deemed “not profitable”. And with the discovery of how to build ships that could safely cross the calm belt, submarines were eventually scrapped as a profitable venture by the government, but they are still heavily scrutinized and outlawed in the world as a whole.

It’s ban is so complete that in the original, first copy of “SORA - warrior of the sea”, Sora originally had a yellow submarine, but the copy was later re-released where the sub had been replaced with a yacht-looking ship because the government got their panties in a twist because the “hero” was using an illegal vessel and they didn’t want the public to have any idea about submarines, least of all a favorable impression on them.

Yes, Law painting the Polar Tang yellow is a wink and a nod to the submarine Sora had, and a middle finger to the government. Because the man can not help himself. XD

Law still reads the Sora comic, it releases a new chapter once a month and Law will read it with/to the crew. Think of it as a miniature comic-con, only with your favorite comic and closest friends. They make a whole day out of it, with reenactment of favorite sence and general tomfoolery and partying.

Any member of the crew who isn’t a Sora (or comic)-fan, will become one, it’s inevitable. The entire crew are not all as diehard fans as Law, but they all love and look forward to their monthly little geek-out regardless.

If or when someone on the crew gets seriously hurt, to the point where they are bedridden and passed out in the med bay, Law will generally refuse to leave their side (only exceptions are if they’re still fighting and he’s needed elsewhere, because they won’t make it otherwise).

If Law is tired enough, and nobody else is around, Law will start humming or singing softly to a patient (as long as they aren’t awake at the time). It’s also a subconscious thing that he picked up from his mother, who would sing softly to him and Lami and stoke their hair when they were sick.

The birth of Lami is what made Law decide that he wanted to be a doctor. Nothing traumatic happened, he just thought it was neat.

Law’s father was a genius surgeon, he practically revolutionized the field of heart surgery and more or less invented a surgical technique that saved the lives of hundreds yearly. Law makes sure to keep track of just how many lives it saves, he doesn’t let his crew know why he’s interested in that for specifically this one surgery but they indulge him nonetheless.

White/Amber lead disease kinda makes no sense to me, so I HC it so it makes more sense to me, it’s possibly a bit different from canon, but I figure you can hand wave it away with faulty information because of the limitations of most of the op world not being terribly advanced scientifically.

Basically, what do we know? Flevance got extremely rich from mining a rare metal. Specifically by exporting (selling) it to other countries. The metal was used in practically everything; makeup, jewelry, food. So why did only the people in Flevance get sick? Why didn’t they rest of the world realize it was a case of poisoning and not an actual illness? Why did it take so long for it to take effect? How was it genetic?

Basically, (and I’m not a expert) I HC it as the metal, the ore, is slightly radioactive or something similar. It breaks down the dna of people who come in (prolonged) contact with it and mutates it and from then on, exposure to the metal itself is highly toxic, and someone who has been mutated in this way (or who has at least one biological parent that is at the time of conception) the metal itself stay in their body permanently.

So the metal is not showing any signs of being dangerous to the outside world, the government knows but has given the statement that it’s safe to mine, and people believe that and swallow the propaganda that it’s a dangerous disease wholeheartedly.

It’s why the government helped in the cleanup and destruction of the bodies, because they were only one autopsy away from being exposed.

Law is probably one of the very few people who understands perfectly how the ‘disease’ works and that’s because his devil fruit gives him the information. He knows he’s muted and the only way for him to stay healthy is to make sure that he has little to no contact with the metal and in case he gets it in him, remove it immediately.

There’s no real cure, short of df intervention, and it’s why Law has no interest in fathering children. (As far as Laws concerned, he already has his crew xD)

Law lives vicariously through his crew, in the sense that seeing them happy and healthy is what makes him feel all happy inside. That doesn’t stop him from moaning about them like an angsty teenager with embarrassing parents.

Break, doggo demands walk 😅

[mislamicpearl]

Thoughts about Ninjago DR S2 episodes 14-15:

Spoilers everywhere below the cut.

Awwww that flashback needed to be longer! God I miss seeing all the OG ninja together. And with Wu no less!

Glad Jay's voice actor is continuing to make his voice deeper!

Oh God, that whole scene of Wyldfyre talking to Roby was CRINGE!! What have they done to her?? Listen, I'm a defender of the straight ships in this show despite some people in the fandom saying they're badly written, I think Jaya, Pixane and Kailor are all adorable, and I'm not against the idea of Wyldfyre getting a boyfriend, though I don't think she needs one... but so far it seems all they're doing with this ship is actively TRYING to give the fandom a badly written straight ship, because COME ON! Who is this person acting all silly and awkward and simpering for this shady salesman guy?? Cause that ain't Wyldfyre! I'm not discounting the possibility that this could grow into a good ship with more time, but this is a really bad and forced start, probably the worst out of any in this show.

It really seems like they're planning on retconning the whole "elemental powers are only passed on through family members" rule, cause I don't think that mech was Lilly's. I mean, we already knew Zane's powers weren't inherited of course... maybe they're finally going to explain that?? Now that would be something. (I won't hold out any hope for it though).

Oh, doi, of course Arin's friend's master is Ras, I'm an idiot. And yes I already forgot his actual name because it's stupid, I had trouble even hearing it right in the previous episodes.

Nya has both Kai and Jay's pictures put up like they're dead asdfjkh

I already ranted in a separate post about Zane, but seriously: what the actual FRICK is the writers' problem with Zane?!?!

Love that Cole immediately decided that couldn't actually be Jay because he wouldn't ever forget them.😭

Nya finally tells Jay she loves him!!! Out loud and to his face and everything!! UGH MY HEART😭😭😭 Please let her say it again when he gets his memories back!

Dang, they really brought Jay back just to let him walk right out of the show again ahahaha!

But dang, where's he gonna go?? And without powers now! Lloyd you had better keep that promise to find him later!

BAHAHA CINDER ANSWERING THE DOOR!

"She'll be there when we need her... she always is." AWWWWWW LLOYD'S SOFT SMILE WHEN HE SAYS THAT! Totally giving me Hunted flashbacks. If DR can claim to have done at least one thing right it's the RGB siblings!

Elemental power of balance? Really? Sure, that's at least very useful in this VERY specific rigged game.

Dang Sora, of all the ways you could've used your power on this tech-ridden obstacle course, you chose to make a balance pole?

This race to stop themselves from being disqualified feels like it's just for eating up screen time, and possibly (likely) to promote another set.

"Sounds like we need a vehicle. One problem. We don't have a vehicle." OMG that was one of the most adorable Nya moments we've gotten since the scene of her with the "bunch of little fish" and "I'll show you how I go!" XD

Aw yeah baby it's happening, corrupted evil Arin arc let's gooooo! I am so for this, it would do wonders for his character. It'd be crazy if he managed to learn proper spinjitzu from Ras, he'd become like Lloyd's own Morro.

Oh.. my... GOD. FREAKING WUUUU! THERE'S SOMETHING HE HASN'T TOLD US!!!! WHEN WILL WE LEARN???