#do you think it haunts him in elysium

[mediumgayitalian]

y’all i cannot stop fucking thinking about it. will with his big blue eyes, youngest of them all, completely musically untalented and rhythmically challenged but by the gods does he understand the human body. following lee around holding his quiver and rattling off whatever he just learned from watching michael in the infirmary. doted on by his big siblings. talking for hours about a galaxy far far away with heroes who choose to save the world, aren’t forced to, hey, they’re heroes, just like you, lee! and his siblings have dreams, they know the prophecies, they look at their little brother and they know he will be alone. they don’t know why or how yet but they can feel in their very soul that he will be out in the stupid world with all its hatred and violence and he will have to defend himself. and he can’t shoot straight and he cries when he hurts someone in training, and all he wants to do is help, and he doesn’t understand that people can be cruel and they will take his kindness and bleed him dry. and a war is coming. they can feel it. do you think they would be desperate? for themselves as much as will? i don’t know how long i will live. i don’t know how long i have left. but you will be there, son of phoebus. i know you will. remember me, okay? remember how i loved you. remember how we loved each other, remember how we healed and fought and cared. please. please, will, remember us. and remember how we loved you.

[ph-cutie]

easy leo appreciation post. hes genuinely like the happiest most content person in the entire game. guy working for a controversial politician(s) due to a personal bond they built decades ago on the Playground, he doesn't quite comprehend the implications of everything that's happening around him but it's okay. hes not trusted with sensitive information but he's valued in his own right. evrart says he's irreplaceable. he's got a wife that loves him and he loves her. he wishes they could have kids but life is life. the missus cooks porridge for the claires every day (not relevant i just think abt it often). leo has survived a lot of hardship, having to immigrate as a child to escape an abusive father, but that doesn't stop him from being a happy guy who's chill with everyone and loves to chat. love u Leonard Bellec

[cryptdfish]

“white mourning.”

[gay-dorito-dust]

This is my first ask for anything so forgive me in advance.

I was wondering if you'd have any gender neutral headcanons for Bob with a reader who's goth. Like a Addams Morticia and Gomez kind who looks haunting but is generally so sweet to everyone in this strange way. Readers absolutely down bad for Bob.

"Goth bad bitch I got by being autistic "

🫵👁👁👍 tysm ima go evaporate.

You and bob were jarring to look at side by side, not in a bad way, but more so in a way of curiosity of how your clashing aesthetics oddly complimented each other in a way.

However to those that knew you were aware that you were the sweetest person they've ever met, even if you did look as though you had come out of an Addams Family movie, and that was not to mention the fact that you'd often treat those closest to you in a uniuqe expression of affection.

Some of which includes being given throneless black roses, taxerdermied animals in funny outfits, home decore that is heavily assosiated with death or the afterlife, insecets submerged in amber, vertibrae bracelets, skull shaoed candel holders and even a weighted plushy of a death's head hawk moth and or bat.

your unique kind of sweetness might not be to everyone's taste but your gestures of kindess and concern for your friends well being wasn't lost on them at all, some even finding humour when you give them a taxerdermy gerbal in a fancy suit, cane and top hat or a card that said 'i'd help you cover up a murder' or 'i hope we have a shared coffin as there's no one rather be six feet underground with then you.'

to your darkness there was a sweetness that couldn't be denied as you have given each thunderbolt a morbid gift that you thought suited them.

For Yelena you had given her a selection of ear jewlery of daggers, roses morphed into skulls, the sythe of the grim reaper and more when she had told you she was in needed of more.

For Ava you had given her mini ghost figurines that line her shelves, a play on the fact that her name was 'ghost' and you saw her groan upon getting them, but the smile that followed after her playful slap to your arm told you that your gift was more then appreciated.

For John you had given him a pocket bat gnome for no particular reason at all, yet now and tehn you would see him hold the little pocket plush in his hand, squeezing it now and then when he felt the need to worsen his mental state by looking online. it brought him an odd sense of comfort that he will never admit to you but it was clear to see whenever he pulls out his keys, the bat gnome was there, ever present.

For Alexei you had gotten him shot glasses in the shapes of skulls, bats or a regular beer glass with similar designs for whenever he treated himself to a celebratory drink or two. You were given a bone crushing hug from the man as he laughs wholeheartedly in your ear, but you wouldn't trade it for anything.

now as for Bob you were incredibly infatuated with the man who could barely watch a horror movie without burring his head into your shoulder, the man who always complimented your look even if you dressed like you were going to kill someone, all the while with an adorbale puppylove within his big blue eyes.

you couldn't help yourself but find everything he did to be something spectacular, even if it was simply washing the dishes, reading self help books or toying with the seelves of his baggy sweater out of nervous habbit, biting his bottom lip.

anything he did was precious to you and you didn't want to waste a single second no worshiping the ground he walked upon, kiss the back of his hands, kiss his forehead and whisper words of affection agaisnt him when his mind told him otherwise. even if your words of affection consisted of how you'd walk through the valley of death for him, hoping to join your souls in elysium forever, never to part from one another like you never did in life.

you didn't dare think about parting from his side, only doing so when when he required his own space, but otherwise you were locking your arms with his as you wandered through the halls of the Watchtower close together. the mere thought of parting from Bob pained your heart and you'd act like a mourner when he leaves your sight for five seconds, you literally wore a funeral outfit when Bob left your side for just about anything.

'my heart has been shredded in two, never to be put back together becuase the pieces are so small, so incapable of fitting together again as the love of my life has left me on my lonesome.' - you when Bob had to get something from his room, he even gave you a kiss on the forehead, telling you he'd be back but the second he stepped out of the room you were inconsolable.

so when Bob does come back with what he needs, you've latched onto him and burry your face within his neck while the man is smiling sheepishly, rubbing your back as he holds you close as whispered that he would never take that long again.

Bob was not use to having someone like you in his life to love him and act as if any amount of ditance between you two was heartbreaking for you, and looking at him as though he was more then he gave himself credit for, holding his face between your hands and like you haven't seen him in a while and commiting every part of his face to your memory in the unfortunate event you would forget what he looked like.

even though you both knew you never would, how could you forget the face, the laugh and the smile of a man whom you love with your whole heart so easily becuase that didn't sound like you at all. not one bit.

many wonder how Bob managed to have you, but you were quick to tell them that it was him who had managed to hook you with his kindess, his sweet soul, his beauitful heart and his ability to extend the hand towards those who needed it despite suffering his own battles.

You were taken the moment that Bob had given you flowers that unfortunately dried up and died, yet you loved them regardless and had them put in a photoframe that remained on your bedside table to this day, amongst other things that he had given you since that fateful day.

there wasn't a words that left your lips that didn't contain Bob's name in someway, talking about how beautiful he was, how generous he was and yet how powerful he was when doing simple tasks that displayed the strength that no average human possesed, a Hercules like figure if you will but without the demi-god status, but a man delt a tragic man and came out of it an even brighter version of himself despite the trials and tribulations he went through.

His heart still bleeds kindness, his smlie brought you joy and life within your chest, his touch brough air to your lungs and his eyes allowed you to know where home was whcih was with him and in his arms, basking in his warmth as you allowed his light to shine on your darkest days.

you loved Bob so deeply you fear that the broken heart that would follow from it would kill you, yet there was reassurance that you would find him again in the infinate lives you'll both share in differrent universes, whether he was still called Bob or gone by another name, he would still be yours becuase you will it so and demnad that fate let you have this one simple ask; to always allow you to be by Bob's side.

not becuase you didn't think he could surivive without you, you knew he could as he was the strongest man you've ever loved in a long, long time. you merely ask the universe, ask fate this because you couldn't see yourself without him.

Bob was happy that he had you, he didn't mind you clining onto him like you do, for you always gave him the space to breath when needed but even then Bob just wants you to be close by. He could never feel down when you were there telling him that you'd much rather commit arson then ever say goodbye to him, a weird thing to say but Bob knew that this was just you being passionate about him.

'i'd kill for you my love.' you tell him. 'i wouldn't let a single thing hurt you or threaten you, as i would gladly die for you if you so ask me to as well as live for you if you pleaded me to. whatever you want from me will forever be yours without question.' you finished as you ran your fingers through his hair, admiring how soft and fluffy it was as it slipped through your fingertips.

'i could never ask you to such lengths for me.' he tells you, knowing that you weren't joking when saying that you'd kill for him should he show a distate for someone. To have someone do something without much of a reason other then your lover told you to do so wasn't a fate Bob wanted for you, he didn't want your hands stained in blood for him as he'd much rather just be here with you in your shared bed; thankful that you get to do so and lull him to sleep like you always did with your protective presence.

'i know my love,' you replied, 'i'm just merely putting out the extents i'd go for you, but if you only wish me to be here for you then here for you i will be forever and always.'

Bob grabs your free hand, intertwine your fingers as he placed it on his chest, where you could feel his heart beat, before kissing it as he looked at you with such softness it took the air from your lungs. 'then i want you to stay, here, with me and like this even when we're old ang grey, please.'

you smile and kissed the tip of his nose, then across his forehead, then back down his nose until you pecked his lip softly as you rested your forehead against his own. ‘Then here I will stay, until we’re old and grey and the grim reaper allows us a final moment because even death wouldn’t dare tear a love as pure as ours apart, granting us the possibility of finding one another again and again until forever ends.’

‘Until forever ends.’ Bob echoed, closing his eyes as he allowed himself this happiness that he thought he’d never get, happy to have been proven wrong as he finally got to say that he had been loved

[downbad4sylus]

Today’s Special: Sweet Evil Trap

synopsis: He’s been waiting for you but you don’t remember him.

content: sylus x afab!reader; reader is MC; use of Y/N; pre-relationship; angst but ends with fluff; mostly proofread

word count: ~2.5k

a/n: okay okay okay, i know it’s not the final part to the sylus v. caleb series!!! im sorry!!!! i’m working on it i swear!!! but reading elysium in world underneath broke me so i wrote this to make me feel better!!!!! i will literally die for my poor lover boy sylus!!!!!!!!!!!!! :’D

You’d been plagued by the same dream since you were a child. A dream you never remembered when you inevitably woke from it with tears streaming down your face. It always left you feeling hollow, like there was a piece of your soul missing, out there somewhere in the world pleading for you to come find it.

You’d hoped that, when you started finding yourself in Caleb’s arms after waking, the hollow ache would ease. But it didn’t.

Not when you grew older and stopped running to Caleb’s room for comfort.

Not when your life was flipped upside down after the explosion that claimed Gran and Caleb’s lives.

You had enough going on and still this dream haunted you and you so desperately wanted to uncover the mystery that had been plaguing you for as long as you could remember. You wanted to be rid of this constant ache in your chest.

Then one night, a name slipped past your lips as you woke. A name that changed everything.

Sylus.

—

You knew that name.

Why did you know that name?

You hadn’t been able to think straight since you woke up, your mind wading through the fog for answers. You’d take anything, any little thing to point you in the right direction.

But you had nothing. Just a name.

Your foot tapped impatiently as you retraced the five letters you’d written in a notebook.

S

Y

L

U

S

The paper was bending from how hard you pressed your pen down.

“Why are you angrily writing the leader of Onychinus’s name?”

Your head snapped up so fast you swore it almost broke. Tara stood behind you, looking over your shoulder with a raised brow.

“What did you say?” you demanded.

Tara’s head tilted, pointing at the notebook. “Did you find intel on Onychinus or something? Do you think they have anything to do with the explosion?”

Of course, how could you have been so stupid? How could you forget the very name echoing through your mind was synonymous with the infamous crime lord of the N109 Zone?

“I—uh—”

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. This was the perfect excuse to find answers. Track down the leader of Onychinus and figure out why you’d called out his name. What could a man you’d never met have anything to do with a dream you’d had since childhood?

“Yeah, actually,” you finally said to Tara. “I found a potential lead I’d like to look into. Do you think you could help me out?”

The explosion was far from your mind as Tara sat down and the two of you started looking into ways to infiltrate the N109 Zone.

—

The beat of wings roared in your ears as you flew through the sky.

You were in a panic, soaked in blood that wasn’t yours, clinging to the form holding you close to his chest.

The two of you almost crashed into the ground, surrounded by flowers from a dream within a dream.

His face flooded your vision, the face of your beloved, his striking red gaze filled only with the human love you’d taught him.

Your hands hovered uselessly over his chest, desperate to stop the bleeding that would claim his life but knowing there was nothing you could do.

Using what had to be the last of his strength, your dragon pushed up on his elbows and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead before leaving you alone in this life.

Sobs wracking your body, overwhelmed with grief, you called out his name in agony.

—

“Sylus!”

You jolted upright in bed, hand pressed against your heaving chest, the dream already fading to the edges of your mind. You grasped at the last vestiges before it could disappear entirely but all you were left with was his name and that familiar, hollow ache.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t wait any longer. You needed answers.

You flew over to the closet, changing out of your pajamas into something slightly more appropriate, and headed out the door.

It was the middle of the night, but that didn’t stop you from hopping on your bike and riding straight for the N109 Zone.

—

When Sylus first took over the N109 Zone, when he made sure his name was infamous, he was confident you’d come to him. Of course, he wasn’t easily accessible, so he set up a permanent special—Sweet Evil Trap—on the intel menu at Elysium, a special only you could order.

Sylus had expected his phone to ring, for Aislinn the bartender to tell him you were there waiting for him, just as he was waiting for you.

Except his phone never rang, not for that at least. And the days turned into weeks, the weeks to months.

He had been watching you during that time through Mephisto, wondering what was keeping you from him. He worried he’d done something wrong and that was why you’d stayed away thus far.

That was why, when Sylus answered his phone that night, hearing Aislinn’s voice was the last thing he expected.

—

Elysium.

As the intel hub of the N109 Zone, it felt like the best place to start looking for Sylus.

It was crazy, thinking the leader of Onychinus could somehow fill in the missing pieces you’d been searching for your whole life. You were crazy, living in a delusion conjured by your own subconscious, and letting it lead you right into the viper’s nest wholly unprepared for what awaited you on the other side. You weren’t safe as a Hunter in the N109 Zone, and yet here you were anyway, bursting through the establishment’s doors and striding for the bar.

Chestnut curls blurred as the woman behind the counter turned toward you. Her eyes widened in both shock and recognition as you approached. She had a menu out and open before you even settled in the bar stool, pointing at the special listed on the last page.

Today’s Special: Sweet Evil Trap

Pepper walnut tart, rosemary gelato, pomegranate jelly, red wine marshmallow, and 10.5 grams of soul. (0)

Description:

I’m waiting for you.

Your brows knit as you looked from the menu to the woman. “I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m not sure I understand what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“You’re supposed to be ordering that,” the woman said.

“I…am?” you questioned. You scanned through the Special Services. “But it doesn’t list the service that comes with the special.”

Her lips curved upward. “This special was made with a certain lady in mind and is meant to be served with our sponsor as the side dish.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

I’m waiting for you.

“This is…for me?”

There was no way.

The woman nodded as though she was excited you’d come to the bar. As though she had been waiting too. “May I show you to a private room?”

The logical side of you was screaming at you to say no, to walk out the door and pretend this never happened. But your heart? Oh your heart was on its knees begging you to follow this woman.

You nodded slowly.

Her grin brightened.

She lifted a portion of the counter and joined you on the other side. “Please follow me.”

You slipped off the stool, anxiety roiling in your gut as you followed the woman to the secluded back of the bar. She pushed open a hidden door and gestured for you to step inside. For reasons unknown to you, your feet carried you through the threshold without a hint of hesitation.

The room held an air of elegance, as though every detail was carefully and meticulously curated. From the black leather couch along the west wall, to the sleek black coffee table in front of it, the blood red rug under the table’s feet, and dark mahogany floors beneath it. Artwork hung on the red and black brocade patterned walls, all different yet cohesive in the space.

An almost haunting melody played softly from the record player in the corner of the room. It sounded so familiar that you found yourself humming along, confident if you were to open your mouth the lyrics would roll effortlessly off your tongue.

You whirled to the woman. “What’s your name?”

“You can call me Aislinn,” she answered. “Please make yourself comfortable, you won’t have to wait for much longer.”

With one last smile, Aislinn closed the door.

Now alone in this strange hidden room, your thoughts started to spiral.

What were you thinking? You showed up to the intel hub in the N109 Zone during the dead of night because of a dream? What if this was a trap? What if Onychinus really was behind the explosion that claimed the lives of the only family you had? You’d basically offered yourself up on a silver platter to the very people responsible! You were actively looking for their leader! You didn’t even know who was “waiting” for you!

You didn’t dare entertain the thought that Sylus was the one waiting. That he too was plagued by the same dream you were, and it was your name on his lips when he woke. No, you really shouldn’t be thinking like that.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you muttered as you paced in front of the couch, hitting your palm against your forehead. “What were you thinking?!”

Maybe you should just leave.

You could come back when you could think a little more clearly. Brainstorm a better game plan with Tara under the guise of gathering intel.

You warred with yourself for several minutes, never stopping your erratic pacing, then needed several more before you finally worked up the nerve to leave.

You rushed to the door, grateful to find there was indeed a knob on this side, something you should’ve checked before letting Aislinn leave. With a deep breath, you grabbed the knob and yanked the door open—

Only to collide face first with a warm wall of concrete.

Your head snapped up and you met a pair of striking red eyes.

Arms wrapped around you, holding you close while guiding you back into the room, the door snicking shut once more. Held in these arms, you’d never felt so safe before. An overwhelming feeling of home washed over you, and that hollow ache in your chest ebbed.

Your hands clenched into fists against his chest as his full lips kicked up into a soft smile.

You knew him. Had this face, his face, been in your dreams all these years? How could you forget such striking red eyes? Or that head of silvery hair?

But something about him seemed different, like something was…missing, though you couldn’t quite figure out what.

Sylus was staring right back at you, the ache in his own chest easing having you in his arms again. It was where you belonged, with him.

He was still in disbelief that you were really in front of him. You were as gorgeous as he remembered, but seeing you on a screen was nothing compared to beholding your beauty in person.

“Sylus?” you breathed, your voice no louder than a whisper.

He nodded. “In the flesh.”

“Have you been…waiting for me?”

“I have.”

“I—“ Your brows knit, a slight headache forming along your temple. “I know you, but we’ve never met before.”

Ah. That explained why you hadn’t come sooner. It should’ve hurt, knowing you didn’t fully remember him or your past life together, but it didn’t. In fact Sylus was relieved. You hadn’t been avoiding him. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I’ve been dreaming about you, I think,” you continued. “I called out your name.”

“I’ve been dreaming about you too, sweetie,” said Sylus, lifting a hand from your lower back to lightly grasp your chin. “For as long as I can remember.”

“Do you know me?” you asked.

“In a sense,” was his only reply. His thumb traced your bottom lip, sending a shiver down your spine. “I’d like to get to know you more, if that’s okay with you.”

You weren’t sure what came over you, but you launched yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck, holding him as if your life depended on it. Sylus’s arms were as steadfast as yours as they wrapped around you.

He buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. Cherry sweet, like red wine. He’d never given up hope that you’d find your way back to him, but the wait had been excruciating. Having you in his arms again, in an entirely new lifetime, he felt whole. Two pieces of one soul finally coming together as one.

You drew back, grabbing his face. It almost hurt you how beautiful he was, with his striking eyes, strong nose, and sharp jaw. And those full lips…

“Tell me this isn’t a dream anymore,” you whispered.

Sylus’s gaze flicked down to your mouth before meeting your own. “This isn’t a dream, Y/N.”

The way he said your name—like he knew you, really knew you—it unraveled something buried deep within your soul.

You brought your mouth to his, needing to feel those lips on yours. Giving in to the magnetic pull you felt toward him.

Sylus responded in kind and claimed you with his kiss.

In that moment, you didn’t care that you barely knew this man because your soul knew him. You didn’t care that he was the leader of Onychinus. You didn’t care that you were a Hunter. All that mattered was being here, with him. You’d figure out how to make it work, you’d do anything to make it work with him.

A love lost in a different lifetime given a second chance. A love that followed both of you throughout this new life, so that one day you’d be brought together again.

Sylus had been waiting for you.

And you’d finally found him.

Bonus:

You tilted your head.

The mechanical crow mimicked you.

Your brow furrowed. The crow squawked.

“I thought you said this was a mechanical crow,” you said to Sylus who sat on the couch watching you.

“Mephisto is a mechanical crow, sweetie,” he drawled, amusement clear in his tone.

“Then why do I feel like he doesn’t like me.”

Sylus chuckled. “I think you’re imagining things.”

The crow squawked again, but this time it lurched forward, spreading its wings. You scrambled backward, falling into Sylus’s lap.

Mouth agape, you gave him a see-what-I-mean look.

Sylus could hardly contain his laughter. “He’s just playing.”

“He tried to assault me!” you exclaimed.

Mephisto squawked in protest.

“Don’t try to deny it!” you yelled at the bird.

“I’d offer to reprogram him to make him friendlier toward you, but I’m afraid this is far too amusing to witness,” Sylus said with a smirk. Just wait until you met the twins.

“Sylus! I don’t want to be antagonized by a bird!”

Yeah, Sylus thought as you began arguing with Mephisto again, the wait was worth it.

[gazorninplat]

As much as I love Disco Elysium, I think I was not prepared for Sacred and Terrible Air. Of course, I was expecting to know more about the world of Elysium as a whole, and Robert Kurvitz is a very good writer, but the thesis of the novel (and how it makes its points) flash-banged me.

Disco Elysium this is not, and it wasn’t supposed to be, but I think I can understand better now what the team at ZA/UM was getting at with this specific setting, and these specific narrative angles. Kinda messy, because it’s been a week since I finished it, but here are some things I’d like to highlight: 

1. The pedophilia. I surely wasn’t expecting this to be such a central theme of the novel, but a lot of its main points revolve around it. The most interesting use of this, as a narrative device, is how the girlfriend of Jesper basically accuses him of being a pedophile because he cannot relate to the adults around him. He’s still obsessed with a girl he met when he was 13 years old, and fetishizes a scrunchie he stole from her bag two decades ago. Yeah, I guess Jesper, well into his thirties, is still in love with a 13 year old girl. His girlfriend is almost half his age, and they started dating when she was 15 years old and a lingerie model (!). Zigi mentions how pedophilia was a bougie disease, and well… That idea went right into my thought cabinet (I call it “Bougie Babies for Sale).

Still processing it.

Now, let’s go back to the rest of the main characters. With all this in mind, a pedophilic overtone covers their interest in these four missing girls, but Jasper is the only one who acts on it, sort of. Khan remains in a sort of arrested development (he still uses a shirt he had when he was 13), foregoing normal adult relationships, and Tereesz joins the police as an investigator with the idea of still finding them some day (essentially letting these eternally prepubescent girls define his entire existence), leading him to a very dark path. I wonder if the brutality they afford to the “actual” pedophiles in the story (Vidkun Hird and the Linoleum Salesman) comes from the realization that they are not that different?

2. Obviously, though, this fetishization of the Lund sisters is also a fetishization of the past. The novel states it in the first few pages; they disappeared twenty years ago, in a time that most conservative people remember as the “good old days”. Basically their version of the American Fifties. Now, being obsessed with the past is a running theme in both SaTA and DE, but the angle here is different.

I already said it: the past is not remembered, is fetishized with an almost sexual yearning by a lot of the male characters of the book. They want to be consumed by it (and lucky them! It will) and do nothing more than serve it. It reminds me of a poem by Yamil Nardil Sadek, which, translated to the best of my ability, goes like: 

She awaits me

sitting on the bed,

wearing leather,

and armed to the teeth,

the Memory.

Yeah, that sums up Sacred and Terrible Air pretty well. Everyone is being consumed by the past, bite by bite, and enjoying it. Vidkun Hird, by the mythologized version of his tribe’s history; Sarjan Ambartsumjan, by a miniature ship model that requires constant, devoted thought or else it will disappear, the three main characters by the memory of that summer with the Lund girls. Even the Linoleum Salesman is being haunted and consumed, of sorts, by his sickness and dementia that only sometimes let him take a peek of the past. Beyond that, there are very few characters that do not spend time being followed by relentless ghosts. Literally, in the case of Zigi. Which brings me to…

3. The Pale. It was a really cool concept in Disco Elysium, and it’s an existential nightmare in Sacred and Terrible Air. It always was, really. But here it lets you take a look into it in a way that’s applicable in real life. The Pale is a metaphor for many things, but actually for a single one: A world where our current Capitalist reality facilitates both apathy and yearning for better days, often idealized in our collective pasts.

My favorite scene, one that was incredibly puzzling but so obvious in retrospect, is a beautiful speech by the ghost (?) of Ignus Nilsen to Zigi. I will just paste it here:

“I said terrible things, yes! I stood on a white horse, in a blizzard, and gave speeches. In the mountains, on the construction site… I swung my sword, with silver sunbeams on the hilt. And all around me fluttered white flags, crests of crowned horns made with silver thread, a pentagon between the prongs of the horns, the branches raised to heaven. Everyone who came here with me became happy, Zigi! Communism is powerful! Believe in Communism, it’s a burst of enthusiasm! I promise! It’s beautiful when you believe in a person, but without it…!”

“Without it, there is nothing.”

“Nothing. It was a blizzard, but it was bright, it was morning. Communism is white, it sparkles! Communism is the morning, it is a jubilation!” 

The Pale begins to recede dangerously around the entroponaut.

The fucking Pale recedes with talk of Communism! At first it might appear a little heavy handed (yeah, Communism, by itself, could save the world). But then I got into how Communism could be a solution to the antipathy and chronic nostalgia that sustain Capitalism, and then it hit me. Nilsen, a literal ghost from the past, is talking about a future that could have been. That he wanted to accomplish. That people, probably, can still achieve. The Pale is not eternal, it can be pushed back. Because the Pale seems to subsist on the past, it abhors any talk of the future. A better future. That’s how we solve things, and for a central thesis, is not bad at all.

With that being said, and because I’m just rambling here while pretending I’m working, there are also some things that I just didn’t understand, but maybe it was because of the translation. The original novel is written in a very poetic style, and some of that is still here, but I still need to untangle…

1. The Man. It is said that the day the Lund girls disappeared, they were joined by a mysterious Man that nobody seemed to remember correctly. A character even suspects that she was remembering wrong. Now, the Pale erases people and memories retroactively, so maybe it had something to do with it, but… Who was that? Is there any theory about that Man, or I just missed something? Some scenes and narrations were tough to parse for me (my primary language is not English).

2. Was Malin Lund pregnant? That flash with the fetus was sudden and weird.

3. What was the significance of the three meat piroshkis? They mention that it was unusual that the girls bought them (and if you do the math, you can realize early on that they were not planning to get back home. That purchase didn’t leave them enough money for the bus fare back), but that’s it. Were they for the Man? Also, the narration mentions that Lund girls’ picnic basket contained “the kind of things girls like to eat”, so maybe they were planning to see the boys and bring them the kind of things boys eat? I’m overthinking that? The chapter actually titled “Three Meat Piroshkis” just left me even more confused.

4. I don’t understand how Khan’s pen works at all. The one he brought to the school reunion. That was the part I re-read the most. Anyway, even with that, I loved Sacred and Terrible Air. Definitely one of the most enthralling reads I had, with or without the background of Disco Elysium. I’d still like an official translation that could potentially solve the issues I had, but for now, a Top 10 Book for me.

Go for it now.

[rudycrowley]

Shout out to disco elysium for helping me get out of artblock after literal months of feeling nauseous and being on the werge of panic attack whenever someone mentioned drawing to me

not super proud of this one, the disco ball is haunting me, but it's a fine start i think

(i hope tumblr won't buthcer the quality)

sketch under the cut because im not sure which one i prefer (also some rambling)

i wanted to include the hands in the final version although i changed them from other character to the skills so that they would try to like fight over him? but i didn't do it in the end because the drawing became too crowded and you couldn't see whats going on, same with the text. also idk how clear is that but i wanted the tie to sort of represent a rope

as to my thoughts on the game so far, NSINFEGFHIUERHNJG im not even done with the first day yet (i would be but i walked into the harbor past 22 so yeah lol (DONT TELL ME HOW TO GET OUT OF THERE I KNOW I PROBABLY CAN I'LL FIGURE THIS OUT OKAY!!!)) but this game has me in a chockehold i haven't been in for a while now, most of my friends hate me beacouse i won't shut up about it. my therepist seemed a lil concerned when i explained to her why i relate to harry a lot and that drinking myself to death has been very tempting lately, which like yeah it probably isn't great but um let's not think about it okay? okay. i've been listening to "whirling-in-rags 8 am" on the loop for 5 days and it's wild cause i normally hate music like this if it had lirycs i would be #1 hater of this song but it actually makes me feel so calm and i am in desperate need for something that makes me calm idk if it shows. i kind of adore kim but i assume he gest even better later on

yeah, so, uh, anyway, the game is pretty cool, yeah.

[rochenn]

DOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKUDOOKU

AHAHA! YES!!!!

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

I've gushed to you about Disco Elysium a lot and, MAN, Dooku's mental gymnastics must be something to behold. What I wouldn't give for a DE style political intrigue game where you just get to CRAWL through his brain and all his deepest most fucked up mechanisms. I NEED HIM AS A FUCKED UP, LARGELY UNRELATABLE PROTAGONIST. IT WOULD BE SO GOOD. Like. A game about his time right after leaving the Order and starting to work for Sidious. Pure gold. He's no Harry Du Bois but whatever he's got going on in his noggin can be its own little freak show. Ya know??

cut here for the other questions

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

I don't talk about this often, but I really like his relationship to Qui-Gon. The guy doesn't seem to behave like anyone Dooku - prim and proper as he is - would ever respect. And yet, Dooku raised him and let him be that way. He always loved him. He's so proud!! Qui-Gon was the one person he wasn't (consciously, intentionally) ready to betray, and you can really tell how that messed with him. Ten years later, and he's still indirectly seeking that validation from Obi-Wan. "See, I loved him so much, and you loved him so much, we loved him the same, so join me." It's just crazy. He did NOT get over it.

Generally, all his relationships with his students and student-prospects are incredible. Idk what they put in Lucas' water when he made Dooku this way but 1) they should've put in more and 2) I CAN'T GET ENOUGH

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

LOVE LOVE LOVE PUTTING HIM THE FUCK DOWN. ON HIS KNEES. OR IN A PUDDLE OF HIS OWN BLOOD. Idk, just any situation where he ain't high and mighty. You've seen it. He thrives down there. He's so entertaining like that.

On the other hand, writing him competent and scary and smooth is just... *chefs kiss* as well. He can do both. He SHOULD do both. He's terrifying and powerful and so so so hurtable. It makes my brain foggy. I'm normal

there's nothing i dislike writing about him idk he's just perfect like that

26. What's something the character has done you can't get over? Be it something funny, bad, good, serious, whatever?

oh. So Goddamn Much. Slamming my head on the table. Breaking it into splinters. Picking the splinters out of my forehead and eating them etc

Where do I start? Betraying Sifo-Dyas. Betraying Asajj. All of that is so haunting, and the latter especially because we SEE him getting that order... his eyes... he didn't want to, but he did it anyway. It's just so AAAGHHH. Him falling to his knees after killing Yaddle. OUGHH

But honestly, basically everything Dooku ever did falls in this category. One underrated thing are his zoom calls with Rush Clovis, I think - he's having FUN with that. You can just tell. He knows he's dealing with a naive, ambitious little rat and he's trying out his grandpa charm, he's toying with him. "Come, come by boy :D" ok old man. I love you. Manipulate that bastard <3

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT: HAGEN FROM THE NIBELUNGENLIED BABY!!

Backstabbing old cunt? Knight of some sort? Tall? Intimidating? Graying? At some point played by an actor with endless brown eyes? Incredible swordsman? Nobility? Manipulator? Goes against a prophecy that can only end in his own doom? Gets beheaded with his own sword while on his knees under humiliating circumstances? Hell fucking YEAH.

Only difference between them is that Hagen managed to talk shit before he died. And he didn't betray the people he loved most. AND he has canonically huge tits 🫡🫡🫡 What a legend, rest in pieces

23. Favorite picture of this character?

The one and only and the monumental serve <3

[kiyomitakada]

11, 13, 14....

yay thank you!!

11. Recommend a fic you think is a hidden gem/deserves more reads.

i had to go digging and also think really hard about what counted as a hidden gem but: red delicious

Light takes a bite out of L’s heart.

exactly what it says on the tin. less than 500 words. please read it i <3 cannibalism

-

13. Recommend a fic you've re-read multiple times.

oh GOD i reread most fics multiple times immediately after reading them……… it's part of the digestion process……… shoutout to Give me one good honest kiss (and I'll be alright) because i reread the last chapter whenever i get Sad

He had felt a fascination pulling him towards L since the moment they had met, and whenever he tried to grasp at the reason why, it blurred and fell apart. * Misa has a genius idea to make Light jealous enough to pay her more attention, but it doesn't work in the direction she expected. L has his own ideas, too.

(or: misa sets up a spin the bottle game with L, light, and matsuda. light is normal about it)

-

14. Recommend your favorite fic.

my two favorite death note fics of all time are telltale and THE HIT AND RUN!!!!!

the first:

The night Ryuzaki dies, L appears in Light's bed. -- (every night when light goes to sleep, his dreams place him in a romantic relationship with his newly-dead rival. it makes him sick.)

this one made me realize how much i love conventional romance as horror. it is my favorite thing in the entire world. it's also probably my favorite angle on arc 2 widowed light yagami ever i am deeply obsessed with how much he genuinely doesn't regret killing L but is haunted by him anyway

the second:

Harry hits Light Yagami with his car. (Based on a joke post, taken extremely seriously.)

why is my all time favorite portrayal of L Deathnote in a disco elysium crossover fic.

YOU – "Does the city ever talk to you?" L – "The city? No." INLAND EMPIRE – Wait for it. L – "But I would say cases talk to me. My suspects, especially." INLAND EMPIRE – There it is. He means when they're not in the room. Across the city, or in different ones entirely. ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] – This guy is a freak. You approve enormously.

(sincerely anyone who hasn't read this should do so immediately it is so funny AND manages to make you incredibly sad about everyone surrounding light yagami. light dies of the aforementioned car crash before the fic even begins and it's about the fallout. everything is Wrong. there was a tear in the universe and the story of death note came to an abrupt screeching halt before it could really pick up at all. everyone is having a real normal time about all of this)

[ssparksflyy]

my tears ricochet but its jason grace and his 'lover' that he cant be bothered to give attention to

"even on my worst day, did i deserve, babe all the hell you gave me? 'cause i loved you, i swear i loved you 'til my dying day" but its his lover knowing she wasnt perfect, but also knew she didnt deserve the way he treated her.

"i didn't have it in myself to go with grace and you're the hero flying around, saving face" but its his lover watching him be everybody else's hero and prioritizing people he hardly knew.

"and if i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? cursing my name, wishing i stayed" but its his lover watching him at her funeral from elysium and seeing how pathetic he's acting, saying he misses her, as if he didnt once tell her in an argument she was the last thing on his mind at the time.

"you know i didn't want to have to haunt you but what a ghostly scene, you wear the same jewels that i gave you as you bury me" but it's the way he can't think of anything else but her, no matter how hard he tries, after she's gone. but it's the way that he had the audacity to wear the necklace he gave her when they started dating to the funeral.

"'cause when i'd fight, you used to tell me i was brave" but its their 'honeymoon phase' where he used to treat her as if she was the only person he'd ever care for.

"and i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want, just not home" but it's the way he infiltrated her home that once adored her and made it all about him. the way camp half blood was once the only real home she ever knew, but now it wasn't. the way that jason once served as a home to her, only for a very short amount of time, but she was incapable of reaching that home as well.

"and you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones" but it's the way that he now realizes and regrets how much and badly he hurt her. the way she'll forever haunt him. the way he refuses to ever forgive himself and knows that apart of him died in shame that day.

"and i still talk to you (when i'm screaming at the sky)" but it's the way that when she was alive, his lover would beg all the gods for a way out. the way she wouldn't allow herself to leave but begged for the strength to continue fighting for his love that simply was no longer there.

"and when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)" but its the way that jason can't stop replaying the one video he has of her singing by the campfire and the way he can't fall asleep without listening to it.

"you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same" but it's the way that jason could've saved her from dying, but chose to help another camper in need, thinking you'd just get hurt and would heal eventually. the way that decision is the reason why he can't get out of bed in the morning, the way that decision is what causes him to lose himself.

"you turned into your worst fears" but its the way that jason realizes that he's no better than his father, the man he hates most, for being so careless and heartless when it came to somebody who loved and adored him in a way nobody else could.

"look at how my tears ricochet" but it's jason grace and his lover who both lost themselves for each other, but at different times. one of those times, being far too late.

his lover died in battle against an invasion of monsters in the woods of camp half blood. jason saw her just minutes before she passed, knowing he couldve helped her, but instead decided to help the camper who was only a year younger than her and who's name he didnt know. he figured she'd be fine and accepted the fact she'd get hurt, but knew she would heal later. years later, he's still killing himself from within for being unable to answer the question, if he knew it all then, would he do it again?

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

Eurylochus Reincarntes As Hadestown Orpheus Concept Au

Introduction

So I know nothing about Hadestown but thinking about the parallels between Eurylochus and Orpheus got me thinking about an au where after Thunderbringer, Persephone takes pity on Eurylochus feeling how anguished his soul is and decides to give him a second chance to ensure he isn't lost in the river styx forever. She also gives Eurylochus the gift of song and he reincarnates into Orpheus from Hadestown. So we in a sense get Jordan Fisher as Eurylochus lol. Also making it angstier I'm having the idea of playing with Ctimene being reincarnted as Eurdice meaning Eurylochus failed to keep Ctimene in his arms twice.

Yep I got so comfortable comparing Eurylochus and Orpheus parallels that I want to make them the same person. So Eurylochus gets to trade his giant ass sword for a guitar.

Basic concept is as Orpheus keeps returning to the Underworld he keeps bumping into people that knew him as Eurylochus on the way to Hadestown. He encounters Odysseus who helps him and warns that he should make sure his journey doesn't end up like it did the first time. Polites gives him advice on how to win over Persephone and Anticlea appears as a bodyguard protecting the now Hadestown. Worse Odysseus, Anticlea and Polites remember Orpheus but Orpheus has no memory of them. You could play with that concept and have Eurdice being confused and angry Odysseus tried to help Orpheus.

Orpheus ignores Odysseus's warnings as well as Hades and turns back. Odysseus looks after Eurdice and you can either have Ctimene apologising to Eurdice saying she loved the wrong man or Odysseus apologising for failing his sister again. Eurdice gets a promotion and Ody bargains that Hades will let Eurdice be a bodyguard until Orpheus passes on.

Eurylochus got a second chance but repeated all the same mistakes and let doubt creep in. He failed Ctimene by doubting Odysseus and this time fails Eurdice by ignoring Hades's warning.

Persephone reincarnted Eurylochus so he may get into Elysium but that doesn't mean his life is tragedy free. Orpheus/Eurylochus is always cursed to have his loved ones die and his luck run out. To make it up to Eurdice, Orpheus becomes a healer and travels around with his songs with the purpose of healing young souls and comforting souls on the verge of death.

So that's basically the au concept we are working with. I'm going to share Orpheus's Pov and then I'll share Odysseus's Pov.

Please be aware I'm dyslexic and this is not beta read.

A Returning Visitor

Orpheus's Pov

Orpheus followed Hermes instructions, kept his head down and tried to be unnoticeable. Unfortunately it seemed he didn't keep his head down as well as he thought as an odly familiar voice called his name.

"Eurylochus!"

That wasn't his name. It had never been his name. Yet still Orpheus paused. He turned to find a man roughly his height accept his clothes looked more old fashioned. The mans brown eyes haunted him and it scared him.

"I hope you find this Eurylochus eventually but I'm not him. I'm Orpheus." He said introducing himself.

"Odysseus of Ithaca." The man responded in return.

Something about that name left a flury of emotions in his mind. Love, hate, guilt, pain, joy and sadness. It confused him but he knew that at the moment Eurdice was his priority.

"Nice to meet you Odysseus, I don't suppose you could help me? I'm looking for someone."

"Who?" Odysseus asked.

"Eurdice. She's my everything and Hermes told me she ended up down here. I have to save her."

Odysseus's sympathetic face suprised him. Maybe Hermes was wrong, maybe not everything was out to get him.

"I can't come with you Orpheus but keep straight on the path without stopping and you'll find Lord Hades. Be warned though Lord Hades doesn't let souls go easily." Odysseus replied honestly.

"How do you know?" Orpheus asked.

"Cos I had to sacrifice an afterlife with Penelope in order to save my crew." He explained.

Disbelief. Again Orpheus didn't understand why the man was making him feel so many complicated things.

"I'll keep that in mind." Orpheus lied.

"Please do my friend. Don't let your luck run out." Odysseus pleaded sorrowfully.

Odysseus starred at him in a way that screamed familiarity. It confused Orpheus and worried him.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

"No you just remind of someone." Odysseus explained.

"Who?"

"An old friend. You have his spirit, Eurylochus cared for his friends and family deeply as you do Eurdice. I let him down."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Orpheus apologised. He didn't understand why but knew it was the right thing to do.

"It's fine, it's in the past now but Eurdice isn't. What ever you do, promise me you won't give up or look back." Odysseus pleaded.

"I promise." Orpheus said.

He gave Odysseus one last look before returning on his walk through the Underworld. Odysseus's last words shook him though.

"And Orpheus." He said.

"Yeah."

"Don't forget how dangerous the God's are." Odysseus warned.

With that Orpheus continued to walk forward taking Odysseus's heart in mind. Unlike Odysseus he vowed that he wouldn't let Eurdice down.

Odysseus Pov

Odysseus's heart sunk when he saw him here again. It had to be him. Eurylochus, his old friend and brother that he had betrayed. He may now have thick black curly hair and a guitar in place of his sword but it was still him. Odysseus couldn't stop himself as he called out to him.

"Eurylochus!"

The man froze. It gave Odysseus hope but then the hope quickly died when he saw his friends confusion. Eurylochus was a new man now, a new man he didn't have to crane his neck to look up at. The mans gaze looked like a distant memory and it hurt him so much.

"I hope you find this Eurylochus eventually but I'm not him. I'm Orpheus." The new man replied introducing himself.

Orpheus! The named suited Eurylochus more then anything and it made Odysseus proud. Trying not to embass himself, he did his best to reintroduce himself to his friend.

"Odysseus Of Ithaca." Odysseus replied, reintroducing himself.

"Nice to meet you Odysseus, I don't suppose you could help me? I'm looking for someone." Orpheus said

Odysseus tried to supress a sigh at that. After all they'd once been through of course Orpheus would be here recklessly trailing The Underworld for someone.

"Who?" Odysseus asked.

"Eurdice. She's my everything and Hermes told me she ended up down here. I have to save her." Orpheus explained.

Odysseus stared at his friend sympathetically. He smiles thinking about his sister Ctimene, who would be proud Eury-Orpheus is willing to sacrifice everything for his love. He then thinks about Penelope who he sacrificed everything for and abandoned in the afterlife. His heart aches.

"I can't come with you Orpheus but keep straight ahead on the path without stopping and soon you'll find Lord Hades. Be warned though Lord Hades doesn't let souls go easily." Odysseus warned.

"How do you know?" Orpheus asked.

He knows if Orpheus still remembered everything, he would be speechless over what he was about to confess. Eurylochus had died thinking Odysseus did not care about him.

Conclusion

So I have so many other Epic Au concepts I wanted to share but this one was one I definitely wanted to show off. I promise if I fully flesh out this au I will listen to Hadestown and do my proper research. I am studying Ovids Metamorphosis but definitely Hadestown is on the list to check out.

Honestly I did not think comparing Eurylochus and Orpheus would send me down this hole but here we are. I now have two aus where a God just reincarnates Eurylochus right after he had a traumatic death.

My asks are open if you are interested in me further fleshing this concept. It's a concept for now as i want to see how you Winions and Hadestown fans react.

Until next time.

-Melody-

They/Them

[shini--chan]

May I request headcanons about Yandere Kaneki please?

Of course, here, have a character sheet. I got a bit carried away, since it has been so long since I wrote somthing for Tokyo Ghoul.

Yandere Character Sheet

Ken Kanaki 

Trigger warnings: implied/references murder, humans are eaten, imprisonment, emotional/psychological manipulation, delusional behaviour, references to depression and suicidal ideation

Attributes - What sort of Yandere is he/she?

One of the cornerstones of Ken's yandere tendencies would be his protective urges. Few people aside from him know how dangerous and wicked the world can be. A person doesn't have to be a particularly sadistic ghoul to revel in bloodshed after all. There are so many ways you could hurt yourself. 

In the beginning, he would be haunted by scenarios of all the ways harm could befall you. He would wake up from nightmares of you dying and feel his heart clench at the thought of you being wronged. Thought of how you could be harmed drives him half-insane with worry.

After his time with Agoiri Tree, these tendencies would only skyrocket. You are his Elysium, an island in a stormy sea, an oasis in the scorching desert. Do you really think he could let anything happen to you? What had once been an unbearable anxiety, uncomfortable like centipedes crawling under his skin, would morph into outright bloodlust. The harmful element would wind up as a blood splatter on the ground.

Of course, part of these protective urges would be based on how strong you are. If you're just a fragile doll, then Ken would want nothing more than to wrap you up in the finest silk and hide you away forever. If you have your own back bone of steel, then he would be relaxed enough to allow you more leeway and time outside. However, even if you are strong, even more powerful than him, then he would still feel protective over you. After all, even the most talented and effective people have weaknesses and openings, even they sometimes make stupid mistakes.

Aside from that, Ken is sweet and often very considerate. He takes note of your wishes and desires, even taking the effort to remember the little things - a book that you offhandedly mentioned that you wanted to read, how you like your coffee, the route you take to work in the morning. If you do, he doesn't even take physical notes, rather dedicating it all painstakingly to memory. That way, you would take a long time to catch onto the red flags, to how he seems a bit too dedicated, too desperate for it to be healthy. 

Yes, he would be desperate and dependent. At night, he tries to tell himself that he would be happy just by watching you from afar, by ensuring your safety while remaining just another face in the crowd. He is too broken to be with you after all. But it is exactly because he is broken that he can't stay away from you. You put him at ease - your mere presence is balm to his fractured psyche and thus he would only grow more dependent on you the longer he would be a ghoul. 

There would be days when he would practically be attached to you by the hip, for once ignoring all your protests and trying to drink in your presence as much as possible, as if you are some healing draught. Lie down with him, card your fingers through his hair and sooth over all his rough edges and your wish would be his command (of course, as long as it would be within reason). This is also one of the reasons why it would never be able to let you go - you’re his source of strength, the reason he clings to life instead of falling to his suicidal ideation. In a way, you’re what Rize (the figment of his imagination, that is)  is to him and everything that she can’t be - supportive, yet not as harsh and biting, present and not in his head. You are something more than just a representation of one of his facets.  

Though, there are still times when he is fractured, when even you aren't able to consolidate the parts of him. Then, he is rash and paranoid and so very restrictive. In some ways, he projects his mental state onto the outside world - when he is particularly fragile and conflicted, then he would see his world as endangered. When he is plagued with doubts, he second guesses your words and reads between the non-existent lines, constantly fearful that you are just putting up an act. 

Entwined with that, is the way he flips between delusional and lucid. Thanks to his rather mild temper and selfless nature, he probably will have developed a somewhat normal relationship with you before his yandere tendencies would really emerge. At times he recognises that what he is doing is unhealthy and even toxic and that all the hurtful words you hurtle at him are warranted. Then there are other times when he isn’t sure of his own identity, or how the world really works. As a coping mechanism, he turns to you and ignores any misgiving you have about your relationship. 

Kaneki is also very much obsessed with you. At night, he dreams about you and during the day he sees you in his inner eye. You come to mind when he imagines what true beauty is supposed to look like. Whenever his mind dares to wander, it wanders to you. His thoughts revolve around you to the point where he finds it difficult to think clearly, unless he is in a fight or you are close by. And having you in his arms is by far the more preferable option. 

Cornering - How would they get you?

Ken doesn’t kidnap you. Not unless he would see that as the only option to keeping you safe. Instead, he tries to approach as he would a friend. With some luck on his side, he is his co-worker or a classmate; that way, it is expected that the two of you interact with each other as it is. Even with his character development over the course of canon, he is still clunky and shy when it comes to you. Well, if things start out as a professional relationship where he is mature and kind and helpful. However, as soon as matters would get more personal, then he would find himself floundering. 

Perhaps you find his clumsiness when it comes to his emotions for you adorable, perhaps you first have to warm up to him (which he would manage to his helpfulness and persistence) but in the end, when you are together, he couldn’t be happier. It doesn’t have to be an official relationship either, it can just be you growing closer and closer, you not even being fully cognisant of the extent of your feelings, or of his for that matter. 

Either way, Ken Kaneki does his best to wrap you up in a normal relationship before the going gets rough. It isn’t really his intention when the nature of your relationship starts to change; it just happens. There is this constant itch under his skin, these constructs in his mind mocking him that he’ll end up losing you. Thus, he pulls you closer and closer, drawing up all the more rules that you have to follow. 

It would start with him being more prying than usual on where you are going and being all the more inquisitive on how your day went. Then it would transition to a tracker in your clothes or one your phone and locked doors at night. And it would end with you only being let out of the house with him as a chaperone or with a person that he particularly trusts.  

Expectations - What do they expect of you?

Ken doesn’t have that many expectations of you, since he has a rather wide pallet of people that would check his boxes. Nevertheless, there are a few things that he looks for in a person and a few things that are absolute no-gos for him. One of those things is a strong sense of justice. He wouldn’t be able to bear a person that is psychopathic and sees other people as cattle or ants to be trod upon. After experiencing so much suffering, as well as seeing so much suffering being inflicted upon others, he requires somebody that can look at the world with kind eyes and not want to hurt others out of some sense of twisted glee. If you are an idealist that somehow wants to turn the world into a better place, then he would be all the more interested in you. 

Tying into that, you better not be hedonistic. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to indulge in the few joys life has to offer, there is something off putting to him about a person that makes their life revolve around chasing pleasure and drowning in it. There is much more to life than a set of actions or experiences that make your brain release endorphins, and you not acknowledging that would just seem cowardly to him. He wouldn’t have anything against you being naive and sheltered - to him there is a difference to being that and willfully blind, or even sadistic. 

Be sweet with him. He doesn’t mind a tsundere, but having to deal with a cynic (even if he is one at times) would just wear him down. At times, he just wants to put his head in your lap and have you card your hands through his hair. Surprise him with preparing coffee for when he gets home, and even if he can’t really eat the cake you bake for him, he would appreciate the sentiment. Aside from that, I can see him falling for somebody working in medicine and if you know that he is a ghoul and maybe go out of your way to smuggle out a bag of blood for him, he would be over the moon. 

Besides that, he has a huge competence kink. There is just something about you being very good at something significant that warms him with pride and adoration. If you write, then he wants to read everything that you bring to paper, and lose himself in descriptions of other worlds. Good at singing and/or dancing? He has countless videos and audios on his phone. Should you dance with him, then you’ll have the privilege of seeing his cheeks flush deep red as you guide him through the motions. If you have a particular talent for something else that isn’t tied to entertainment, then he could spend hours listening to you talk about your field of expertise. He doesn’t even have to understand it to be enraptured, your passion and competence is more than enough to entice him. 

Faded - Would they let go of you in any way?

You could scream and shout your throat raw at him, he would just nod along and prepare some warm milk with honey for when you’re finished with your tirade. He does his best to act unaffected, though your words are the equivalent of rubbing powdered glass over his skin. If you would continue for long or hit particularly sensitive nerves he would break down and cry. But still he would never let you go, as he would tell you. Because don’t you see, none of this is for him, it is all for you! 

So no matter what you do, no matter how much what you say amplifies his self-hatred, he would keep you by his side. That being said, there are still two circumstances where he would let you go. 

The first is if he comes to the conclusion that you are safer away from him rather than by his side. This would be due to you being endangered by proxy to him. The last thing he would want would be for you to die in the crossfire in a fight with the CCG or another ghoul faction, or, heavens forbid, be targeted as a means to hurt him. 

The second would be him forgetting you. When Ken Kaneki becomes Haise Sasaki, he forgets you, at least when it comes to conscious memory. Though watch out! As soon as he would smell you or see you again, he would find himself drawn to you again. 

Punishment - How would they proceed if you do something they disapprove of?

On average, Ken isn't big on punishments. He sees himself as your protector and guardian, and what sort of protector would he be if he can't protect you from himself? Perhaps as the Centipede he would more deliberately punish you. Else, in his mind he only takes measures to protect you, and if they are harsh, then so be it. It is clear that you are too reckless and naive and optimistic so you need a minder that isn't reluctant to make tough choices. 

If you are too carefree and prone to venturing around, he'll imprison you in your shared apartment. Hanging out with people he doesn't approve of? Suddenly you are hearing stories of how they are terrible, good for nothing people. He'll lock away all the knives and anything you can hurt yourself with if you try to fight, and baby you if you self-harm. After trying to escape, he'll forbid you from watching TV or reading books, citing that your overactive imagination caused you to do something so foolhardy. 

Protest will seem to fall on deaf ears. Sometimes they will but other times they'll be carefully filed away so that he can lose sleep due to them. You are always on his mind, after all, the good as well as the bad. 

Reaction - How would they react to you escaping?

Panic, full blown panic. That is what he'll experience at first and the younger he is, the longer the panic attack will last. He'll dash around your shared living space, just hoping his panic is unwarrented and you just hid yourself away in one of your tantrums. His searching becomes more frantic and destructive the longer you remain undiscovered.

Eventually, he'll force himself to make a cup of coffee and sit down. Kaneki will do his best to piece together the various variables: When did you leave? What did you take with you? Which places are you most likely to run to? Are there any people from your past life that you still place a lot of trust in? 

He will try his best to put himself in your shoes in order to anticipate your past, current and future choices and thus successfully track you down. Depending on which phase of his life he is currently in, there will be differences.

The shy Ken Kaneki that he is in the beginning of canon handles it like a teenage boy looking for his crush or friend. Checking social media, asking around, quietly loitering around places where he thinks you'll pop up. The Centipede is far more violent and far more desperate to get you in his grasp again, therefore the police and the CCG will find a lot of corpses, courtesy of his quest to find you again. As Haise Sasaki, he has far more resources and is calmer. In that case, he can cook up an excuse to have you very officially hunted down and dragged before him. 

The end is always the same - him fussing over you like a mother hen, obsessively checking you for injuries and chiding you. After that incident, he’ll vow to keep a closer eye on you. You’ll be kept on an even shorter leash, with him being far stricter about rules and such in comparison to before your escape attempt. In his eyes, it came to you running away because he was far too lax with rules and vague about his intentions. 

Turnabout - Scenario: You have the upper hand? What would be different from their usual MO? 

Actually, not much world change, on the surface at least. In some ways, he wouldn’t mind you taking the steering wheel and allowing you to play the dominant partner in the relationship. If anything, being taken care of and having to relinquish control to you would be a new yet not unwelcome experience for him. At first, he would be worried and nagging, wanting to wriggle his way into being the one that takes care of you, the one that makes sacrifices yet he would slowly learn to enjoy taking the back seat. That is, of course, if the two of you would stick to being in a romantic relationship. However, don’t think he’ll allow you to get away. If anything, he might become so used to being taken care of, that he’ll not allow you to get rid of him. 

On the other hand, if you become his captor and he your captee, he would have a lot of mixed feelings. In many ways, he would understand your urges to harm him and restrict his movements. After all, he had wronged you and in retrospect, he would realise that he might have been too harsh and condescending. That would make him vow to learn from his mistakes and treat you with more dignity, should he manage to turn the tables again. Because even if you would harm him, he would still continuously forgive you, because you forgive the people that you hold dear, or not?

Vengeance - What would they do in the face of competition?

Ken is insecure as it is and having a rival would only make this worse. Though it wouldn't have the intended effect of making him back off, rather it would make him all the more determined. Though, depending on which stage he is currently in, there are vast differences on how he deals with rivals. 

As Ken Kaneki, the original, shy and timid Ken Kaneki, who has just become a ghoul or will soon become one, he’ll be much more shy. There is something all too tragic about the way he pines after you, in the manner a mediaeval knight would have pined after a lady of noble standing, a love that could never be mutual and fulfilled. Though, at times the depth of his passion will even spur him to action! It is surprising to everybody, even him and therefore he has a lot of plausible deniability in the case law enforcement comes knocking. It would sicken him to the core what he does to have you, and all the while he carries the heavy regrets in his heart, but it is all worth it as long as you are safe. Though, that is just when his emotions get the better of him, an absolute last resort. Else, he will try to convince you with shy words and texts in the middle of the night that your current paramour just isn’t compatible with you and that you deserve better. 

As The Centipede, he is far more ruthless. After all, he does know what is best for you at the end of the day. So when he determines that the man that is currently in a relationship with you, or is bringing you flowers and chocolates every other day in an attempt to woo you, is bad for you, then the unlucky fellow must go. If he is feeling particularly frustrated and just must get the point over to you, then he waits to kill the offender right in front of you. Of course, that is if he can’t talk to you about his issues with you. Else he expects you to know that his arms are the safest to be it, and for you to reject any advances. It just might be that the one or the other is particularly pesky and persistent and needs to be taken out. 

As Haise Sasaki, his plans are more complex. He has a reputation and a hell lot of resources to fall back on. As such, he tries the easy route first and foremost - talking to you. Of course, you might very well not be convinced by his word alone and then he’ll do some digging to drag the skeletons that certain person has in their closet forth. Maybe he’ll get other people to talk to you, to offhandedly mention and discuss the various flaws of his opponent with you. As much as he might want to kill his rival, he can’t make it too obvious. Perhaps that person will then be sandwiched between two warring parties and wind up as collateral damage, or be the victim of a violent crime in a far away city, or are found dead by a suicide hotspot. It takes much to get Haise to take his rival into a back alley or out into the country in order to make short work of them. 

In all scenarios he feels a twinge of guilt, but does his best to stamp it out with thoughts about you - your safety, your love, your happiness, you, you, you. 

Art is not mine: from Irina Vinnik and other artists

[may--hawk]

No Reset (Disco Elysium)

Summary:

When Harry comes back from Martinaise, he comes back different. You pretend you’re happy. Everyone is so happy. You are the only one, it seems, that knows something is wrong. Is missing. You, and maybe Harry. He watches you, his eyes following you like a ghost. Like you are some dropped clue, some missing piece. You usually meet his eyes and scowl until one of you looks away. It’s usually fifty-fifty on which one of you it is.

Pairing: Harry Du Bois/Jean Vicquemare

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,895

--

You haunt your days like a ghost. You have fucking no one now. You go to the station and there’s a stranger wearing Harry’s face like a cheap mask; you go home and there are no phone calls, no drunken hammering on your door. There is just you and your blackness weighing you down like a heavy stone.

You call Harry one night when you’ve been drinking. You don’t know why.

Yes you do. You fucking miss him so bad it hurts, a sharp ache in your chest.

“Hello?” he says, and his voice is ever just so slightly different. He’s not Harry. He’s not your Harry. Probably no one can tell but you. Probably no one cares but you. You should hang up. But you can’t. You can’t hang up on the sound of his breathing like you had walked away from him in Martinaise. If you had just fucking stayed, you would still have him.

Part of your brain says that if you had just fucking stayed he would be really, actually dead, instead of just this shade of himself.

“Jean,” he says. He knows it’s you. His voice is low and very close, his mouth pressed close to the phone. “Jean,” he says again, and his voice sends something pooling down your spine and into your gut. He says, “can I miss you if I don’t remember you? Because I do. Every day I turn to the left and you’re not there. I feel like there’s something missing-”

“Just stop talking,” you beg him, and he stops, and you both sit there on either side of the phone. His breathing is the same, or rather, it is how it used to be before he really started to kill himself in earnest. Four or five years ago when you were younger, when you still thought you might be happy some day…

You fall asleep like that, clutching the phone to your ear. When you wake up, the phone is half under your body, crushed into your chest by your weight. You pick it up and hold it to your ear, expecting to hear nothing but dial tone. Instead, you hear something far off, like the waves of the sea, or a ghost’s breath.

Harry.

That phone bill is going to be a bitch, you think as you cradle the phone gently.

Read the rest on AO3.

[eybefioro]

📚FIC MASTERLIST📚

I'm finally making one of these and trying to organise my blog lol

These are organised by word count, starting from the smaller ones. There's also a little guide (i guess):

🔥 - Spicy! 🧸 -Fluff/soft! 🎼- Songfic/song inspired! 🗡- Angst/feels! 🎉- humour/crack! 🤝 - Collabs! (art and/or writing) ⭐- favourites/rec!

Assorted ficlets: Nibbles and Munchies

⭐Give me the simple life 🎼🗡 Rated G, 813 words.

Aziraphale and Crowley have a quiet day in the bookshop, and a song carries Crowley away to think of a future. Unfortunately, this future filled with quiet days doesn't seem possible.

To love is to burn 🤝🧸🗡Rated T, ~1k words.

Even before the beginning, Lucifer wanted to give Crowley everything. Even through the War and the Fall, that's all he wanted; that and have Crowley by his side. (Technically a poem, but well... it fits in this list)

Thank God it's Christmas 🎼🧸 Rated G, ~1,1k words

Aziraphale and Crowley now live in their cottage, and the angel wants to re-enact their first kiss. (A continuation of sorts of All I want for Christmas is you)

⭐On display 🔥 🔥Rated E, ~2,3k words

In which Crowley is too tempting and Aziraphale rewards him.

Don't purr away from me 🧸Rated T, ~2,3k words.

In one of their nightcaps, Crowley doubts Aziraphale can shapeshift. The angel proves him wrong, but unfortunately for Crowley, he seems to really enjoy being a cat. (This fic is a fluffy one shot, of Aziraphale enjoying being a cat and Crowley being worried by it)

Tsunami 🧸🗡Rated G, ~2,4k words.

Heaven is non-place. Heaven is just nothingness. Aziraphale is deprived from feeling in his position as the Supreme Archangel. He reminisces about Crowley's love, until he's flooded again by it when Crowley takes the lift to heaven. (post S2 ficlet, just me being self-indulgent and describing their love, 'cause why not?)

Marionette 🗡🗡Rated M, ~2,8k words.

Crowley looses himself after everything, and Aziraphale couldn't stop the war.

All I want for Christmas is you 🎼🧸 Rated T, ~2,9k words

It's the last year before armaggedon, soon the antichrist would be 11 years old. The dread of the upcoming (possible) end of things creeps on Aziraphale, who decides to kiss the love of his life at least once before the end. To do so, he comes up with a very simple plan- he will only need a mistletoe. Or several.

I'll find you in every dream 🎼🗡 Rated G, ~3,3k words.

Crowley allows himself to wallow, and the Bentley helps him remember some precious memories through a song. Aziraphale misses Crowley and Earth terribly, and once more visits the Earth observatory, finding Crowley walking in St James Park. Or: The author daydreams scenarios as he listens to music, and now they're written in the hopes that they will stop haunting his head every time he listens to these songs.

guess 🎼🎉🔥Rated E, ~3,7k words.

Crowley gets impatient watching Aziraphale dine, and tempts her into finishing faster. Temptation very much not accomplished, but anyways the demon gets what he asked for.

Honk if you worship Satan! 🤝🤝🧸 Rated G, ~4k words.

Crowley had a plan. He had orchestrated everything, called in old favours, he even had outfits! All their friends were there, ready to help, and then the wonderful, beautiful bastard of an angel had to go and steal his thunder. (Exquisite corpse game!)

I understand you need a Nanny? 🔥 🔥Rated E, ~5k words

Crowley discovers Aziraphale's secret-not-so-secret attraction to Nanny Ashtoreth. They find a fun way to uncover all of Aziraphale's desires that he had to repress during the Dowling years.

⭐Elysium nostrum 🔥 🤝🧸Rated E, ~5,4k words

41 AD. An angel is tired of following Heaven, a demon needs some respite. A moment they shared; a moment they allowed themselves to be together, when actions spoke louder than their words.

The Great Bestiary Bonanza 🤝🤝🧸Rated M, ~5,7k words

Aziraphale is assisting with a restoration project of a bestiary — a medieval literary collection of animals and beasts, both real and fantasy. It contains art illustrations in a classical medieval-style with colorful descriptions. He and Crowley sit around one night, get high as kites, flirt with each other anxiously, and have a few laughs while looking at it. That's the plot.

It's raining Go-men! 🤝🤝🎉🧸 Rated G, ~5,7k words.

Crowley proposes to Aziraphale in an unusual way. He tries to make it right, but isn't exactly successful... Aziraphale tries to show how to do it properly, and they end up in a competition to see who can do it better. Who will say yes first? (Exquisite corpse game!) I can't remember if we're wed still, with all this said, let me ask again, and again, and again, even if just to gaze on your hidden smiles will we end up in the rain? who will succeed to lead the other down the aisles? after millennia of denial and pain finally let my joyous cries ring out, and echo, again Dear Angel, I love you, we shall no longer cower in lies

A box in the middle of nowhere 🤝🤝🎉🧸 Rated G, ~5,8k words.

Apocalypses done, apology dances performed, confessions of love declared, the pair has resigned to their South Downs Cottage. All is well until a date night game goes wrong, resulting in mystery hunt, a family reunion and more food than anyone knows what to do with. (Exquisite corpse game!)

A soft carpet to lie down 🔥Rated E, ~5,8k words

Furfur is very tired of his work. After Shax becomes Prince of Hell, he finds a way to scape taking trips to Earth, posing as a spy. He ends up finding comfort on the arms of a certain Shopkeeper of Wickber Street.

No way up 🤝🤝🗡🧸 Rated G, ~6,5k words.

The whole point of a magical elevator is supposed to be that it doesn't malfunction. So when the doors opened to the literal pits of hell, the newly appointed Archangel found himself in need of an escape plan, almost grateful that it was random demons he encountered first and not a certain Duke. (Exquisite corpse game!)

⭐Darling! 🤝🧸🧸 Rated G, ~7,3k words.

One day Darling, one of the town's stray cats, meets a weird couple that just moved in. It's strange that this white haired man keeps calling her name, but that's alright; his pets are the best. Or: The husbands meet a cute cat when they move in South Downs, and her name happens to be Crowley's preferred endearment. Crowley has to begrudgingly share Aziraphale's attention with Darling, and she's all too happy to get all attention just for her.

Sit at the kerb and stew! 🤝🤝🎉🎉🧸 Rated T, ~8,8k words.

'It was supposed to be a quiet afternoon, they were taking Aziraphale out for sushi. But unexpected car trouble has put a dent in Crowley's plans. Granting sentience to your Car is all fair when you don't want to worry about gas or the use of pedals in an emergency. But things become decidedly more complicated when the inanimate objects you're used to terrorising suddenly start to talk back.' (Exquisite corpse game!)

Asmi in Maggotland 🤝🎉🎉 Rated T, ~10,2k words.

Everything was normal, until Bee appeared with a giant clock, and Asmi, as the curious being that he is, had to follow them. Chaos ensues.

⭐Forgive me, Father 🗡🧸 Rated T, ~15,3k words.

Aziraphale lost almost everything in the bookshop fire. In the remains of his his life, he finds an old shoe box, and inside it the letters – and memories – he had buried for so long. While putting his life together again with the support of his friends, he relives his days as Father Fell and all the hurt and joy of having had Father Crowley by his side. A human AU, where Aziraphale and Crowley were priests in the same church.

Vavooming 🗡🔥 Rated E, ~17,1k words

Everything is back to normal after the two almostgeddon, but Aziraphale and Crowley are still rebuilding their relationship. Physical touch is still something they are figuring out, and Crowley is anxious about it. One evening he got overwhelmed by a touch on his knee and he had to flee home to… have some relief.

⭐Somewhere Between the Pages 🤝🧸 Rated T, ~26,8k words.

Agnes Nutter, the famous (and mysterious) author of the book series Accurate Prophecies will do a signing for the first time in her career — and of course Crowley had to get her autograph. What he didn't expect was to find his childhood best friend in the convention, and for memories from the last meeting to resurface. OR Childhood friends (and maybe a little more than friends) meet again after years of separation in a convention. Will they find love again between all the fan-excitement?

⭐Undercover 🤝🔥 🔥 🗡🎉🧸 Rated E, ~28,6k words.

After Aziraphale becomes the Supreme Archangel, Crowley is appointed as Prince of Hell. Some may think they aren't talking, but that's only true when they're busy with more pressing activities. (A collection of sexy times between our favorite angel and demon, trapped in an office hell/heaven scape, where the second coming that matters is not the Jesus one)

⭐To be a Guardian 🗡🧸🧸 Rated T, ~29,1k words.

Crowley has been lonely ever since the beginning of time, but with every millennia it gets harder and harder to deal with it. Warlock Dowling can't remember a time when he didn't feel alone. Having lost his parents early, he didn't had the opportunity to feel otherwise. One day, they meet at the park.

Wibly's Dungeons 'n Dragons 🤝🔥🗡🎉🧸 Rated E, ~41,4k words.

This is a Choose Your Own Adventure DnD style birthday present for the wonderful Wibly!

⭐TSATO Volume 1 AND TSATO Volume 2 🤝🤝🤝🔥🗡 Rated E, ~48,2k / ~43,5k words.

EPIC collab. part of a series in 7 parts. I highly recommend that you start at Volume 0. And I promise: there is a happy ending!

~This story starts, as it will end, in the stars.~ Crawly is a singularity, born in the Empty and thriving in it, until the day Life settles into the universe. As that happens, she descends onto the planets in her vicinity. Several centuries, maybe even millennia, pass; Crawly got integrated enough in the society of a planet that she is the long-standing Queen and main deity of that planet. Aziraphale comes as a scientist from another planet that hers made an agreement with; thus begins their relationship. Crawly slowly comes to terms with her feelings with Aziraphale as their story evolves and their travels through the galaxy continue.

WIPS

Cheek to cheek 🤝🧸 Rated E, ~5,7k words.

Crowley has two left feet, and he has to learn how to dance to be a good man-of-honour for his best friend. Turns out his dance instructor is an old crush from university... How will our hero cope? OR Eve is the best friend Crowley could have, Crowley is a (flustered) flirt, and Aziraphale tries his best to be a professional.

TRADUÇÕES

Empoderado 🔥Rated E, ~6,2 words

Após ser desafiado por Shax, Furfur toma o controle, e Shax, normalmente quem dá as ordens, se submete à ele completamente. O que começa como uma troca de poder rapidamente se torna uma exploração da confiança, vulnerabilidade e desejo entre eles. Furfur aprecia cada segundo que ele tem tomando as rédeas, já que sabe que é algo que ele nunca vai ter como garantido de sua jóia preciosa. 🇧🇷 TRADUÇÃO PT-BR • Original é de isiaiowin

Como Um Jardim Sem Sol 🤝🗡Rated T, ~6,3 words

AU. Aziraphale devia saber que isso era uma má ideia. Desde o começo, ele devia saber que era uma má ideia. Mas ele continua cometendo os mesmos erros, e não é só ele quem tem que pagar por eles. Continuação de ‘Flores para Anthony’ e ‘Aquele Que Te Arrancou Do Talo’, multi-capítulo, ponto de vista do Aziraphale sobre o que andou acontecendo. 🇧🇷 TRADUÇÃO PT-BR • Original é de Atalan

[ryukikiocspam]

I can't believe I'm actually fucking posting this. Yes I did earlier but shut up it was an accident. Anyway.

my larp character went through my literal worst nightmare so I wrote about it yahoo

also yes i know i have some lore inaccuracies because vampires are dead bodies that move by magic or whatever but whatever just enjoy my silly girl being wracked with guilt.

also also this is a work in progress and I might change a lot of it. ignore that it's cringe. like they say, kill the part of you that cringes, not that part that is cringe.

Anyway everyone give it up for THROUGH MY FAULT, THROUGH MY FAULT, THROUGH MY MOST GRIEVOUS FAULT

I still find myself there sometimes. His hand is on my shoulder, and I hear him tell me that whatever happens to him won't be my fault. I mumble something but my lips are trembling and it doesn't come out anywhere nearly as convincing as I hoped. I see them again, I see their guns, and I see that red dress and smeared makeup. The sense of helplessness catches in my throat. There's nothing I can do, when we're with everyone, or when it's just us. I still think about the way things went. If I had begged him not to go (he had already decided) if we hadn't told him about the blood (he would have found out) if I had paid more attention (I had no way of truly knowing) if we had stood our ground (she would have killed us where we stood) if we had fought a little bit harder (that's not our expertise) if one thing had changed just a little bit. I wouldn't be in the office again, wouldn't be scouring my notes n for something, God, anything I could do. I know better than to take love for granted. lve heard enough of deep regrets. I've rolled my eyes at kine detailing what they wish they had done. So why, then, was I here again? Why am I frustrated and desperate, sobbing into his shoulder, begging God for mercy? Grief is not linear. Rarely, if ever, does one go through one stage at a time. It loops back around. Wounds that you thought had closed reopen with a vengeance.

I find myself back at bargaining a lot.

I'm there again, screaming at everyone until my throat is raw, swearing vengeance, begging him to be selfish, writing down names in my notebook, half-heartedly making amends to garner sympathy. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if we had fought back. I wonder how I would live with myself knowing that I managed to so utterly fail at a simple task. I wonder if it would eat at me more than it already does.

Necromancy isn't allowed in Elysium. That doesn't stop the ghosts of what I've done from haunting me.

[thorst]

✘  ⠀⠀ELYSIUM FOR EXILES  ⠀⠀⠀⠀✘⠀⠀⠀⠀i. I Grew Up Fast; I Guess I Grew Up Mean  ⠀✘ Gen Fic : no ships ✘ Post-game setting, canon compliant ✘ Mature: canon-typical violence, high honour Arthur Morgan ✘ multi-chapter ✘  ✘

✘ ✘⠀⠀ ⠀⠀✘ Excerpt:

"Marston!" The name cracked like a whip, and John flinched, his pistol hand wavering even as he kept his Pa's old cattleman levelled at the mouthy stranger's skull. "Put that gun down right now, ya fool boy! What are you doin?" He knew he shouldn't turn. Knew that he had to keep his eye on his mark - even if the man under his gun looked ready to piss himself of fright. The speaker was just visible in the corner of his eye, a huge, barrel-chested man, blurry and indistinct in his blue work shirt. Marston didn't turn his head. "Y-y-y-you're right, mister, you did say hello, I-I shoulda just tipped my hat an'—" "Shut up." John growled, nudging the pistol at the man while he fought to think. But no. No, that name wasn't his. He'd been trying to wear it, but it fit worse than his Pa's other old things. He wasn't John, even if that was what it said on his papers. John junior. "Ain't your Ma raise you better'n that, boy? What he do to you," the big man behind him was talking again, his rough voice taking on a sardonic tone, "not wish you a good day? Christ alive, Marston. Put the damn gun down." His voice softened at that last, and Jack finally lowered the revolver.

Read More on AO3

-----

Author's Notes: This is nominally a sequel to my fic Not So Different wherein Arthur is haunted benevolently by Charles Vane of Black Sails. It is occupying secondary brainrot position in my head to Cowboy & Hellcat but I have plotted out where this is going and it will theoretically be updated somewhat regularly

Attribution: Graphics made by me in Photoshop CS6 using extremely old brushes, RDR1 & 2 screenshots/promo images from IGN, some assets (eg: frame) grabbed from in-game screenshots by me, fonts: RDR Catalogue Bold, RDR Lino (these were downloaded in 2018, sorry, I can't find the link, but I can share the files)