rochenn

[rochenn]

Good news.

[rochenn]

Star Wars fans that try to compare the Jedi to the Catholic Church because they both "collaborate with the state" have no fucking idea of what the Catholic Church actually does and what the problem with it being in power actually is, and it drives me fucking insane

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star wars shows are all about going wait was that [british comedian] ? and rewinding to go oh wow that was [british comedian] !

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I am what I am.

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Just went to the hairdresser... and... well... I almost feel like I've become a case for r/justfuckmyshitup

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I feel the need to add on to this that "Meister" is a VERY proletarian/blue collar title. Pairing it with obsolete nobility pronouns is so comical

love the star wars german dub. like you'd figure anakin and obi-wan would address each other with peer pronouns (du) by the time RotS rolls around. but no. they don't even use the formal ones (sie).

anakin addresses obi-wan with the fucking PLURALIS MAJESTATIS. like. "ihr"??? did this space opera backflip into the regency period? imagine that in english. don't make me kill you my liege. your grace, you underestimate my power. what the fuck

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Is it me or do some spaces kinda gloss over the fact that Anakin is a fascist? It’s not as simple as him being apolitical and siding with Palpatine solely to save Padme. There was a whole exchange in Attack of the Clones in which Anakin says that dictatorships are justified, we even made a whole meme about it. That was a scene Lucas chose to include.

And you can see exactly how his Chosen One delusions feed into that; Anakin’s told that he’s a powerful, exceptional person who must guide the disorganized masses into peace and order! I wonder if George was critiquing the Chosen One trope via Anakin’s downfall, but then again he did admit that his plans for the sequels involved Leia being the true Chosen One by restructuring the post-Empire galaxy so maybe not.

I get that Anakin’s obsession with Padme is more romantic on a literal and figurative sense but no he genuinely agreed with the Empire’s politics. Would he be insincere, and burn the galaxy to save Padme? Obviously. But when we discuss why Anakin goes along with Palpatine even after that fails, I don’t think it’s as simple as “Oh he has nothing left, he’s just a slave obeying his master” because he did genuinely go on a spiel about having brought peace and order to his new Empire. On some level, Anakin’s devotion to Palpatine DID pay off in his eyes, he was accomplishing another goal of his at least.

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the facts were these (/pushing daisies narrator man i miss pushing daisies):

jedi facts: in this nebulous '5th quarter', a skirmish broke out on felucia, sifo was assigned to negotiate peace talks. peace talks ‘failed’, he was ‘killed’. there was a 2nd jedi present when he ‘died’. sifo’s body was cremated.

valorum’s facts: it was a senate committee working on the syndicate matter but shame shame drugs shame valorum himself contacted sifo to ‘stabilize’ things sifo AND silman were killed on felucia no bodies

pyke facts: we know nothing masters jedi sirs. honest. okay we saw him but we didn’t see anyone else. okay okay we saw him AND the advisor. we shot ‘em both down over our moon because we made an alliance with this guy calling himself tyranus. we retrieved the jedi’s body and snatched up the advisor, didn’t tell tyranus. u want him? u can have him.

silman’s facts: they TRICKED US precious the pykes killed sifo because tyranus wanted to use his identity

dooku's facts: sifo-dyas understood he saw the future that is why he helped me

the floating timeline of sifo goes like this:

tan divo & the coruscant police’s racist investigations (prior) unhelpful; investigations into hutts go slightly better (35BBY)

other syndicates threatening a full-out gang war in the coruscant underworld due to the pykes’ almost complete control over the production of raw spice (kessel, etc.)

senate committee goes uh-oh

valorum goes uh-oh, calls sifo for a meeting

sifo departs coruscant w/ silman, in a jedi t-6 shuttle

sifo & silman (the delegation) arrive on oba-diah

council messages with orders to attend to flare up on felucia

sifo leaves oba diah with silman, reaches distance of oba diah moon before being shot down by the pykes. silman is taken by the pykes.

dooku arrives at jedi temple (to delete kamino data), talks with jocasta, qui-gon, yaddle

battle of theed (45.04.19 hurrah an actual date)

at least one night passes; news of qui-gon’s death percolates.

dooku goes to confront sidious, has already ‘dealt’ with sifo-dyas, precise dates of 'dealing with' unknown.

what the fuck is a fifth quarter? it’s the time of year between black friday or christmas and the end of january in the us apparently. it’s a fiscal term. or, legally, the three full calendar months of the thirteenth calendar month from the final closing date. whatever the fuck THAT means in this gffa. HOWEVER we know there is calendric fuckery because this is star wars there is ALWAYS calendric fuckery. judicial uses the 10 month calendar. coruscant reckoning uses a (supposedly) 365 day calendar (i make this work by saying there are 3 uncounted days, the way the 10-month calendar is both 350 days AND 368 days).

possibilities: ‘the fifth quarter’ refers to those days in the 10-month calendar that aren’t counted; it’s the time between the festival of stars and new year (both one-week holidays). HOWEVER HOWEVER they also totally screwed up how the dates go by putting the battle of yavin too late in the coruscant reckoning year that it necessitates the phantom menace taking place in 33BBY so that’s what i think of THAT calendar (i did figure out the equalisation tho because i am like that. the crc has to start on 11.33 of the 10-month calendar). it can ALSO be the summer if you're talking in terms of school. ffs.

or, since the crc was done BASED ON VIBES we can go based on MY vibes (which are objectively correct) and place sifo-dyas's death date on 04.04 because:

four is death

it's before all of naboo, which puts it in line w/ tales of the jedi

it's recent enough that dooku's still doing to be a complete scribble over it

it works with disney AND legends in that it takes place post-perlemian gathering/kamino-informing and before naboo

the nitty-gritty (but not the nitty-nitty gritty) timeline (brackets are my own personal timeline, the / dates are how far through the year they are, counting down, so 32.9BBY is the 2nd month of 33BBY):

42.??.??, 35BBY: tan divo’s investigations into pyke spice trafficking begins. he fucks this up by giving into racism and believing all pykes are involved in this spice trafficking. 33BBY/32.8 (44.05.26): yinchorri attack on jedi temple; two killed; proposed point at which sifo leaves the council (final attempt at getting council to believe in his vision of the necessity of an army in the wake of the yinchorri incident, in the wake of the yam’rii incident) 32.5 (08.26): eriadu trade conference; assassination of trade fed. leadership 32.4 (09.23): passing of prop 31-814D, taxing free trade zones ???: trip to kwenn (unknown date, only that sifo is not on council) 32.4 (09.31): finis valorum under investigation for corruption 32.4: mas amedda appointed vice chancellor; valorum’s powers limited (10.01): valorum appears before court to answer corruption charges 32.3/10.05: election day, standard day each year; amidala elected queen 32BBY (45.03.23): chommell sector summit announcement 32 (03.35): gathering on perlemian orbital facility (plagueis drops the anvil about kamino to sifo-dyas) (04.02): valorum calls meeting with sifo, he and silman depart later that day (04.03): arrival on oba diah (04.04): message from council, re: felucia; departure from oba diah; shot down (04.05): blockade of naboo begins; 1 week since perlemian gathering

31.9BBY/04.14: the phantom menace begins.

04.18: arrival on coruscant; dooku & qui-gon speak during the day after the first high council meeting, before qui-gon goes to collect anakin from palpatine’s residence; departure for naboo that night; flight takes overnight. 04.19: v. early morning on coruscant is ~ mid-afternoon naboo time; occurrence of deaths: plagueis (early CR) > qui-gon (aft NB) > maul (aft NB); naboo is about 12+ hours ahead of coruscant in terms of time; result of no-confidence vote daytime on coruscant (evening naboo) 04.20: swearing-in of chancellor palpatine (coruscant day), jedi ready to leave for naboo in afternoon (early morning 21st naboo > arrival late 21st naboo). dooku confronts sidious at the limerge building in the works just before sunset. kills yaddle. there’s probably a sloppy attempt at sex here because dooku just wants out of his own head sorry not sorry 04.21: sidious departs for naboo, early coruscant morning 04.22 naboo: funeral of qui-gon jinn held 3 days post-battle of theed in naboo evening (coruscant morning)

[rochenn]

[rochenn]

This morning I saw some art that made me wonder if there is a so-called Mandela effect created by the fanfiction community.

Guys, what color is Obi-Wan Kenobi's hair?

And how justified is this Don Juan's leading position in all pairings in AO3?

Prequel trilogy: Ewan McGregor - variations from dark blond to brown. No romantic interest.

Tartakovsky's cartoons: Base color - "brown ocher". No romantic interest.

Filoni's cartoons: Base color - "almond". One story arc about platonic love with a tragic ending.

Books: Siri Tachi - "school love" is platonic. They talked like adults and decided to remain friends. Cerasi - he didn't even realize he was in love because no one told him. She died tragically. Lina Kobral - nah. The color… Idk… most likely a cold shade of blonde.

SW Fan Community: OH, THAT'S DEFINITELY A FIRE-REDHAIR INCUBUS, HUNGRY FOR THE WARMTH OF SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY EVERY SECOND OF ITS EXISTENCE!!!

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if you need more proof of how much of an idiot i am, just know that i stayed up till o-dark-thirty last night making blueprints and cutaway diagrams of the Jedi Temple in microsoft excel

[rochenn]

Character Appreciation Friday - Luthen Rael

Name: Luthen Rael Played by: Stellan Skarsgård Appearances: That Would Be Me, Reckoning, Aldhani, The Axe Forgets, The Eye, Announcement, Narkina 5, One Way Out, Daughter of Ferrix, Rix Road

Happy Friday gang! I know, it's a miracle that I remembered to do this. Guess my mind wasn't such a sunless space this week. On that note: Luthen! What a guy. You don't need me to say anything clever or silly here, you know what's up with him.

Tell me what you appreciate about Luthen in a reblog, comment, or ask!

Next week: Mon Mothma

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Feeling incredibly smug about not investing rn bc my dad bothered me about it for YEARS!! only to hit me with the "I lost 50k since Tuesday" when I came home earlier. VINDICATION but also oh god

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it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

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when I put characters in situations that do not make sense thematically it's fine because I know I understand their core Principles and that I'm just having fun. when other people do it it's evil

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I rly wish we got to see more detective obiwan in the prequels tbh 😞

we should've got more you're right!!! but they could've fixed this lack with more Obi-wan and Quinlan buddy cop stuff in tcw

(commission info // tip jar!)

[rochenn]

Asajj, I love you, but you're kinda turning into Dooku with how many apprentices you're collecting here...