#yandere ken kaneki

[animeyanderelover]

Kaneki, Haise, Shalnark, (both eras) Dazai, Yuuji, Sukuna and Gojo's reaction to getting a gift from their darling ?

Tags: @naeho @flaming-vulpix @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @cynniical @shenryu-sama @shumidehiro @izanami78

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, toxic relationship, manipulation, stalking, isolation, abuse, abduction

S/o gives them a gift

Shalnark

📱Much to his dismay he spoils the surprise for himself by actively spying on your online activities and for that witnesses how you buy something online. So when you hand him one day shyly a gift wrapped up in some pretty wrapping paper, he has already a very good idea of what is inside due to the short time that passed by between the delivery of the bought product and your gift. Nevertheless, he's still quite happy as he unwraps your gift with a happy smile on his face. It is a bit of a letdown that he has ruined himself the enjoyment of surprise due to his frequent stalking but he knows he'd never have it any other way but spying on you so intently. For your sake he pretends to be surprised though, he can't let you realize that he knows about your present already after all. You're wrapped up in muscular arms shortly after as he gives you a sweet and long kiss, thanking you for the surprise. After another quick peck on your nose he promises you with a bright grin on his face that he'll buy you something nice in return too.

Ken Kankeki

🔲​Preparing a gift for Kaneki is going to be quite a challenge. Not only because you are essentially stuck all the time in his apartment but also because he is like your shadow, he's everywhere you are. You have to tell him that you wish to be left alone as you try to create a gift for him yourself and he takes it obviously the wrong way. He automatically assumes that you don't want to see him and amidst all his pain he just tells himself over and over again that obviously you wouldn't want to see a creep like him around. It's almost funny that the thought that you might just make something for him never crosses his mind, so low is his self-esteem. He actually sheds a few tears when you finally hand him your gift. Kaneki never thought you'd give him a present but he's delirious with joy that you wasted your precious time for him. Honestly, it almost weirds you out how stupidly happy he seems to be because your gift isn't that special but you've gotten somewhat used to his antics. He has to give you something back in return! Or else he'd feel absolutely useless.

Haise Sasaki

🔳​Luckily despite Haise's occasional stalking and obsessive tendencies, you as his darling are still free to go around by yourself. So getting him a gift is easy in comparison to Kaneki. That doesn't change the fact that he seems quite puzzled upon receiving the gift at first. He just stares at you sort of baffled before he glances at the wrapped object in his hand before almost comedically confused asking you if this is for him. His heart flatters in his chest as soon as you nod and urge him to open it and he carefully unwraps the gift wrap paper, your anticipating eyes on him making him a tad bit nervous for some reason. Initially he just stares at your present in silence as soon as it is unwrapped and for a few seconds you fear that he doesn't like it. That is until a faint blush appears on his cheeks as he mumbles in a quieter voice that he loves it. He gives you a soft peck on your cheeks and you find it somewhat funny how he seems to be too bashful to even look you into your eyes. You're definitely getting a home-made meal from him later on.

PM! Dazai Osamu

🤎​Trying to hide a gift from Dazai as a Port Mafia is about impossible because he never leaves you alone. Where he is, you have to be too so you have no choice but to confess to him that you want to get him a gift but find it impossible to do so with the way he isolates you and never leaves you without his presence close to you. He's strangely curious to why you'd want to gift him something even despite his obvious obsessive and possessive behavior and the abduction and your answer that you want to do something nice for him seems to entertain him. Miraculously he allows you some alone time to get him something as he's interested to see what you would gift a Port Mafia member like him. He's pleasantly surprised when he receives your present, chuckles when he notices your almost anxious look as you observe him eying your gift. You flinch when he grabs your neck and pulls you closer as bad memories flash inside your mind only to be met with a passionate kiss as he thanks you for your gift, his eyes sparkling happy as he looks at your gift again.

ADA! Dazai Osamu

🤎​Your frequent shopping trips haven't gone unnoticed as Dazai enjoys stalking you as often as he can. It's adorable to see you acting so carefree, unaware that he's always trailing behind you. He has to wonder why you have recently spent so much time entering store after store without buying anything though. You seem to search for something, what it is you're looking for you appear to not even know yourself. So it's a present for someone then? For him, perhaps? He really hopes that you're looking for something for him because he would be quite jealous if you were to pick a present for someone else. He decides to wait, stops stalking you as much for a while in case you really are buying a gift for him because he wants to be surprised. He's over the moon when his hopes are fulfilled and you gift him something a few days later. He's already unimaginably joyful, gushing and giving you lots of kisses before he has even opened your gift. He knows that you spent a lot of time picking a gift for him to make sure that you'd find the right present so he's all the more happy to know that you invested that much time and care for him.

Itadori Yuji

🩷​Yuji has bought you so many small gifts already that you almost feel pressured to pay him back somehow. You want to do it all by yourself too so you don't even ask for Nobara's or Megumi's help as you start searching for something to gift your boyfriend. Your heart is pounding when you surprise him with the gift. At first he seems really flattered as he takes it from your hands with a grin on your face and gives you a few quick kisses. When he sees what's inside though, his eyes widen as he asks you how much money exactly you spent on this for him. You try to avoid his question but perhaps that's answer enough as Itadori starts freaking out a bit. Don't get him wrong, he's really happy that you gifted him something but he feels a bit guilty that you spent so much money on him. Obviously he doesn't accept your arguments that he's spent a lot of money on smaller presents for you because if he does it it's of course not that bad. He accepts it because you prepared it for him but he makes you promise him that you won't spend so much money the next time.

Ryomen Sukuna

🗾​Sukuna isn't always with you because he has sometimes important stuff to do but is confident enough to know that you'd never escape. Even if you would, it's not like you could get very far away. It isn't uncommon for Uraume to watch over you if Sukuna isn't with you so you beg them to help you to get a gift for Sukuna. Somehow you manage to convince them as they even give you some advice on what you should get him which is why you try your talents in making a hand-made gift for Sukuna in his absence. Sukuna knows you're hiding something but decides to let it pass for now as he even realizes that Uraume seems be in on it and that makes him curious. He looks almost confused as you hand him your hand-made present, carelessly rips it open and twirls the object curiously around in his four hands. Eventually his eyes meet you but instead of thanking you, one of his four hands starts petting your head as he admits that you've done well which is about the highest praise you can get from someone like Sukuna.

Gojo Satoru

🩵​You agonize over what to gift Satoru because he is so rich that you feel like whatever you buy won't be anything special as he could have just bought it himself. So you decide to try to make something hand-made for him too. Keeping this hidden from Satoru is a pain in the ass though as the man is too clingy for you to comfortably work. Worst of all seems to be that Gojo has a hunch that you try to keep something a secret from him and he doesn't appreciate this at all. So he bothers you about your secret as often as he can and as much as you're sometimes tempted to just yell it at him, you pull through somehow until you've finished what you had planned to prepare for him despite all the delays due to Satoru. He acts like an excited child when you hand it over to him as he quickly unwraps it. He's taking pictures of it, tells you excitedly that he'll share them with his students and co-workers before suffocating you in a hug and smothering you with kisses. He literally won't shut up about it for the next few days, whether he's with Yuju, Nobara and Megumi or Nanami.

[shini--chan]

May I request headcanons about Yandere Kaneki please?

Of course, here, have a character sheet. I got a bit carried away, since it has been so long since I wrote somthing for Tokyo Ghoul.

Yandere Character Sheet

Ken Kanaki 

Trigger warnings: implied/references murder, humans are eaten, imprisonment, emotional/psychological manipulation, delusional behaviour, references to depression and suicidal ideation

Attributes - What sort of Yandere is he/she?

One of the cornerstones of Ken's yandere tendencies would be his protective urges. Few people aside from him know how dangerous and wicked the world can be. A person doesn't have to be a particularly sadistic ghoul to revel in bloodshed after all. There are so many ways you could hurt yourself. 

In the beginning, he would be haunted by scenarios of all the ways harm could befall you. He would wake up from nightmares of you dying and feel his heart clench at the thought of you being wronged. Thought of how you could be harmed drives him half-insane with worry.

After his time with Agoiri Tree, these tendencies would only skyrocket. You are his Elysium, an island in a stormy sea, an oasis in the scorching desert. Do you really think he could let anything happen to you? What had once been an unbearable anxiety, uncomfortable like centipedes crawling under his skin, would morph into outright bloodlust. The harmful element would wind up as a blood splatter on the ground.

Of course, part of these protective urges would be based on how strong you are. If you're just a fragile doll, then Ken would want nothing more than to wrap you up in the finest silk and hide you away forever. If you have your own back bone of steel, then he would be relaxed enough to allow you more leeway and time outside. However, even if you are strong, even more powerful than him, then he would still feel protective over you. After all, even the most talented and effective people have weaknesses and openings, even they sometimes make stupid mistakes.

Aside from that, Ken is sweet and often very considerate. He takes note of your wishes and desires, even taking the effort to remember the little things - a book that you offhandedly mentioned that you wanted to read, how you like your coffee, the route you take to work in the morning. If you do, he doesn't even take physical notes, rather dedicating it all painstakingly to memory. That way, you would take a long time to catch onto the red flags, to how he seems a bit too dedicated, too desperate for it to be healthy. 

Yes, he would be desperate and dependent. At night, he tries to tell himself that he would be happy just by watching you from afar, by ensuring your safety while remaining just another face in the crowd. He is too broken to be with you after all. But it is exactly because he is broken that he can't stay away from you. You put him at ease - your mere presence is balm to his fractured psyche and thus he would only grow more dependent on you the longer he would be a ghoul. 

There would be days when he would practically be attached to you by the hip, for once ignoring all your protests and trying to drink in your presence as much as possible, as if you are some healing draught. Lie down with him, card your fingers through his hair and sooth over all his rough edges and your wish would be his command (of course, as long as it would be within reason). This is also one of the reasons why it would never be able to let you go - you’re his source of strength, the reason he clings to life instead of falling to his suicidal ideation. In a way, you’re what Rize (the figment of his imagination, that is)  is to him and everything that she can’t be - supportive, yet not as harsh and biting, present and not in his head. You are something more than just a representation of one of his facets.  

Though, there are still times when he is fractured, when even you aren't able to consolidate the parts of him. Then, he is rash and paranoid and so very restrictive. In some ways, he projects his mental state onto the outside world - when he is particularly fragile and conflicted, then he would see his world as endangered. When he is plagued with doubts, he second guesses your words and reads between the non-existent lines, constantly fearful that you are just putting up an act. 

Entwined with that, is the way he flips between delusional and lucid. Thanks to his rather mild temper and selfless nature, he probably will have developed a somewhat normal relationship with you before his yandere tendencies would really emerge. At times he recognises that what he is doing is unhealthy and even toxic and that all the hurtful words you hurtle at him are warranted. Then there are other times when he isn’t sure of his own identity, or how the world really works. As a coping mechanism, he turns to you and ignores any misgiving you have about your relationship. 

Kaneki is also very much obsessed with you. At night, he dreams about you and during the day he sees you in his inner eye. You come to mind when he imagines what true beauty is supposed to look like. Whenever his mind dares to wander, it wanders to you. His thoughts revolve around you to the point where he finds it difficult to think clearly, unless he is in a fight or you are close by. And having you in his arms is by far the more preferable option. 

Cornering - How would they get you?

Ken doesn’t kidnap you. Not unless he would see that as the only option to keeping you safe. Instead, he tries to approach as he would a friend. With some luck on his side, he is his co-worker or a classmate; that way, it is expected that the two of you interact with each other as it is. Even with his character development over the course of canon, he is still clunky and shy when it comes to you. Well, if things start out as a professional relationship where he is mature and kind and helpful. However, as soon as matters would get more personal, then he would find himself floundering. 

Perhaps you find his clumsiness when it comes to his emotions for you adorable, perhaps you first have to warm up to him (which he would manage to his helpfulness and persistence) but in the end, when you are together, he couldn’t be happier. It doesn’t have to be an official relationship either, it can just be you growing closer and closer, you not even being fully cognisant of the extent of your feelings, or of his for that matter. 

Either way, Ken Kaneki does his best to wrap you up in a normal relationship before the going gets rough. It isn’t really his intention when the nature of your relationship starts to change; it just happens. There is this constant itch under his skin, these constructs in his mind mocking him that he’ll end up losing you. Thus, he pulls you closer and closer, drawing up all the more rules that you have to follow. 

It would start with him being more prying than usual on where you are going and being all the more inquisitive on how your day went. Then it would transition to a tracker in your clothes or one your phone and locked doors at night. And it would end with you only being let out of the house with him as a chaperone or with a person that he particularly trusts.  

Expectations - What do they expect of you?

Ken doesn’t have that many expectations of you, since he has a rather wide pallet of people that would check his boxes. Nevertheless, there are a few things that he looks for in a person and a few things that are absolute no-gos for him. One of those things is a strong sense of justice. He wouldn’t be able to bear a person that is psychopathic and sees other people as cattle or ants to be trod upon. After experiencing so much suffering, as well as seeing so much suffering being inflicted upon others, he requires somebody that can look at the world with kind eyes and not want to hurt others out of some sense of twisted glee. If you are an idealist that somehow wants to turn the world into a better place, then he would be all the more interested in you. 

Tying into that, you better not be hedonistic. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to indulge in the few joys life has to offer, there is something off putting to him about a person that makes their life revolve around chasing pleasure and drowning in it. There is much more to life than a set of actions or experiences that make your brain release endorphins, and you not acknowledging that would just seem cowardly to him. He wouldn’t have anything against you being naive and sheltered - to him there is a difference to being that and willfully blind, or even sadistic. 

Be sweet with him. He doesn’t mind a tsundere, but having to deal with a cynic (even if he is one at times) would just wear him down. At times, he just wants to put his head in your lap and have you card your hands through his hair. Surprise him with preparing coffee for when he gets home, and even if he can’t really eat the cake you bake for him, he would appreciate the sentiment. Aside from that, I can see him falling for somebody working in medicine and if you know that he is a ghoul and maybe go out of your way to smuggle out a bag of blood for him, he would be over the moon. 

Besides that, he has a huge competence kink. There is just something about you being very good at something significant that warms him with pride and adoration. If you write, then he wants to read everything that you bring to paper, and lose himself in descriptions of other worlds. Good at singing and/or dancing? He has countless videos and audios on his phone. Should you dance with him, then you’ll have the privilege of seeing his cheeks flush deep red as you guide him through the motions. If you have a particular talent for something else that isn’t tied to entertainment, then he could spend hours listening to you talk about your field of expertise. He doesn’t even have to understand it to be enraptured, your passion and competence is more than enough to entice him. 

Faded - Would they let go of you in any way?

You could scream and shout your throat raw at him, he would just nod along and prepare some warm milk with honey for when you’re finished with your tirade. He does his best to act unaffected, though your words are the equivalent of rubbing powdered glass over his skin. If you would continue for long or hit particularly sensitive nerves he would break down and cry. But still he would never let you go, as he would tell you. Because don’t you see, none of this is for him, it is all for you! 

So no matter what you do, no matter how much what you say amplifies his self-hatred, he would keep you by his side. That being said, there are still two circumstances where he would let you go. 

The first is if he comes to the conclusion that you are safer away from him rather than by his side. This would be due to you being endangered by proxy to him. The last thing he would want would be for you to die in the crossfire in a fight with the CCG or another ghoul faction, or, heavens forbid, be targeted as a means to hurt him. 

The second would be him forgetting you. When Ken Kaneki becomes Haise Sasaki, he forgets you, at least when it comes to conscious memory. Though watch out! As soon as he would smell you or see you again, he would find himself drawn to you again. 

Punishment - How would they proceed if you do something they disapprove of?

On average, Ken isn't big on punishments. He sees himself as your protector and guardian, and what sort of protector would he be if he can't protect you from himself? Perhaps as the Centipede he would more deliberately punish you. Else, in his mind he only takes measures to protect you, and if they are harsh, then so be it. It is clear that you are too reckless and naive and optimistic so you need a minder that isn't reluctant to make tough choices. 

If you are too carefree and prone to venturing around, he'll imprison you in your shared apartment. Hanging out with people he doesn't approve of? Suddenly you are hearing stories of how they are terrible, good for nothing people. He'll lock away all the knives and anything you can hurt yourself with if you try to fight, and baby you if you self-harm. After trying to escape, he'll forbid you from watching TV or reading books, citing that your overactive imagination caused you to do something so foolhardy. 

Protest will seem to fall on deaf ears. Sometimes they will but other times they'll be carefully filed away so that he can lose sleep due to them. You are always on his mind, after all, the good as well as the bad. 

Reaction - How would they react to you escaping?

Panic, full blown panic. That is what he'll experience at first and the younger he is, the longer the panic attack will last. He'll dash around your shared living space, just hoping his panic is unwarrented and you just hid yourself away in one of your tantrums. His searching becomes more frantic and destructive the longer you remain undiscovered.

Eventually, he'll force himself to make a cup of coffee and sit down. Kaneki will do his best to piece together the various variables: When did you leave? What did you take with you? Which places are you most likely to run to? Are there any people from your past life that you still place a lot of trust in? 

He will try his best to put himself in your shoes in order to anticipate your past, current and future choices and thus successfully track you down. Depending on which phase of his life he is currently in, there will be differences.

The shy Ken Kaneki that he is in the beginning of canon handles it like a teenage boy looking for his crush or friend. Checking social media, asking around, quietly loitering around places where he thinks you'll pop up. The Centipede is far more violent and far more desperate to get you in his grasp again, therefore the police and the CCG will find a lot of corpses, courtesy of his quest to find you again. As Haise Sasaki, he has far more resources and is calmer. In that case, he can cook up an excuse to have you very officially hunted down and dragged before him. 

The end is always the same - him fussing over you like a mother hen, obsessively checking you for injuries and chiding you. After that incident, he’ll vow to keep a closer eye on you. You’ll be kept on an even shorter leash, with him being far stricter about rules and such in comparison to before your escape attempt. In his eyes, it came to you running away because he was far too lax with rules and vague about his intentions. 

Turnabout - Scenario: You have the upper hand? What would be different from their usual MO? 

Actually, not much world change, on the surface at least. In some ways, he wouldn’t mind you taking the steering wheel and allowing you to play the dominant partner in the relationship. If anything, being taken care of and having to relinquish control to you would be a new yet not unwelcome experience for him. At first, he would be worried and nagging, wanting to wriggle his way into being the one that takes care of you, the one that makes sacrifices yet he would slowly learn to enjoy taking the back seat. That is, of course, if the two of you would stick to being in a romantic relationship. However, don’t think he’ll allow you to get away. If anything, he might become so used to being taken care of, that he’ll not allow you to get rid of him. 

On the other hand, if you become his captor and he your captee, he would have a lot of mixed feelings. In many ways, he would understand your urges to harm him and restrict his movements. After all, he had wronged you and in retrospect, he would realise that he might have been too harsh and condescending. That would make him vow to learn from his mistakes and treat you with more dignity, should he manage to turn the tables again. Because even if you would harm him, he would still continuously forgive you, because you forgive the people that you hold dear, or not?

Vengeance - What would they do in the face of competition?

Ken is insecure as it is and having a rival would only make this worse. Though it wouldn't have the intended effect of making him back off, rather it would make him all the more determined. Though, depending on which stage he is currently in, there are vast differences on how he deals with rivals. 

As Ken Kaneki, the original, shy and timid Ken Kaneki, who has just become a ghoul or will soon become one, he’ll be much more shy. There is something all too tragic about the way he pines after you, in the manner a mediaeval knight would have pined after a lady of noble standing, a love that could never be mutual and fulfilled. Though, at times the depth of his passion will even spur him to action! It is surprising to everybody, even him and therefore he has a lot of plausible deniability in the case law enforcement comes knocking. It would sicken him to the core what he does to have you, and all the while he carries the heavy regrets in his heart, but it is all worth it as long as you are safe. Though, that is just when his emotions get the better of him, an absolute last resort. Else, he will try to convince you with shy words and texts in the middle of the night that your current paramour just isn’t compatible with you and that you deserve better. 

As The Centipede, he is far more ruthless. After all, he does know what is best for you at the end of the day. So when he determines that the man that is currently in a relationship with you, or is bringing you flowers and chocolates every other day in an attempt to woo you, is bad for you, then the unlucky fellow must go. If he is feeling particularly frustrated and just must get the point over to you, then he waits to kill the offender right in front of you. Of course, that is if he can’t talk to you about his issues with you. Else he expects you to know that his arms are the safest to be it, and for you to reject any advances. It just might be that the one or the other is particularly pesky and persistent and needs to be taken out. 

As Haise Sasaki, his plans are more complex. He has a reputation and a hell lot of resources to fall back on. As such, he tries the easy route first and foremost - talking to you. Of course, you might very well not be convinced by his word alone and then he’ll do some digging to drag the skeletons that certain person has in their closet forth. Maybe he’ll get other people to talk to you, to offhandedly mention and discuss the various flaws of his opponent with you. As much as he might want to kill his rival, he can’t make it too obvious. Perhaps that person will then be sandwiched between two warring parties and wind up as collateral damage, or be the victim of a violent crime in a far away city, or are found dead by a suicide hotspot. It takes much to get Haise to take his rival into a back alley or out into the country in order to make short work of them. 

In all scenarios he feels a twinge of guilt, but does his best to stamp it out with thoughts about you - your safety, your love, your happiness, you, you, you. 

Art is not mine: from Irina Vinnik and other artists

[yandere-thingss]

yandere ken kaneki

delusional and gentle

Perhaps this was the best way to reveal his new self to you. A ghoul. Perhaps, as he grasped flesh and ate

you where his old classmate after all he loved you so why not show you the new him by killing those in the way of your love?

he stood before you eating the flesh of your lover

you felt like throwing up you feel sick you feel lightheaded

[aghost-writer]

Love Me

Chapter 4

Addictive

“Why would you do that to me?! There's no way I can eat human flesh! I'm human! I'm not like you monsters! I can’t turn into a monster. If I do, (Y/N) will leave me”. Kaneki choked out. 

Frustrated, Touka picked up Kaneki and punched him. 

(Y/N) should leave him. (Y/N) is hers. 

Touka slammed Kaneki against a grate. She sent a storm of rapid punch’s Kaneki’s way. 

Kaneki grunt. Blood flew out his mouth. 

Touka pulled him forward and kneed Kaneki in the stomach. She tossed him to the side. 

Kaneki hit a wall before collapsing to the ground. He panted. 

“Well? If I'm a monster, what does that make you?”, Touka taunted. 

“I'm begging you, please, tell me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose (Y/N) because of this”, Kaneki begged. 

Touka bent down to look at Kaneki. 

“That’s rough. But I can’t say that I pity you, though. “, Touka said. 

“What does cake really taste like? It's so nasty, it makes me want to puke, so I can't tell, but it's something that humans enjoy eating, isn't it? What was it like, living a peaceful life? One where you didn't need to live in fear of CCG and other ghouls? Give me a break”, Touka spoke. 

She stood up and walked over to the corpse. She played with its head as her anger grew. This stupid thing that everything sucked? He doesn’t deserve (Y/N). (Y/N) was too kind and too perfect for the weakling. 

She rose in anger. She turned towards Kaneki. 

“Does that mean that everything since I was born has sucked? Well, buddy? Answer me”, Touka demanded. 

She tossed the corpse's head at Kaneki. She hit him on the face before it fell into Kaneki’s hand. 

Kaneki screamed once he realized what it was in his hands. 

Touka started towards Kaneki. Screw him. She was going to kill him. Then (Y/N) would be hers. 

Kaneki scrambled to his feet. He backed away with his hands raised. 

“I’m telling you. I'm human!”, Kaneki pleaded. 

Touka reached forward and grabbed his hair. She yanked him around. She tosses him off to the side. 

Kaneki slams into the ground. He pants and he gets up. His ghoulish eyes make an appearance. 

Touka kicks the whole beside him. She started to sniff. 

Kaneki raised his hand to cover his face as he flinched. 

“You're not a ghoul, that's for sure. But you're not human, either. A half-breed like you isn’t going to last five seconds out here.”, Touka said angrily. 

Kaneki looked frightened. 

“If you want to be human so badly, why don't you see how long you last until you starve.  I'll warn you right now, starvation for a ghoul is utter hell”, Touka warned. 

“That’s enough, Touka. Leave the poor boy alone”, Yoshimura Kakuja warned.

Both Kaneki and Touka turned towards the voice. 

A man in a waiter outfit stood there. 

“But sir”, Touka stuttered. 

“It must be hard, young boy. Come on”, Yoshimura said as he turned. 

Touka removed his foot from the wall. 

“Are you going to take him in”, Touka asked. 

“Of course, I am. It's our policy to help out our fellow ghouls. In their time of need”, Yoshimura spoke. 

Touka tched. She started to follow Yoshimura. 

Kaneki followed suit. 

~~~

Yoshimura quietly made some coffee. 

Touka sat to the side while Kaneki sat in front of Yoshimura. 

Yoshimura places a cup of coffee in front of Kei. 

“Sorry for the wait. Here you go,son”, Yoshimura said. 

Kaneki looked at the coffee. He was hesitant to drink it.

“What’s the matter? Do you not like coffee?”, Yoshimura asked. 

“It's not that. It’s just-“, Kaneki didn’t know how to explain it. 

“Kaneki, take a good look at this coffee. What do you think? Does it look strange”, Yoshimura asked. 

“No, sir.  It looks quite delicious.`` Kaneki spoked. 

“Then why don’t you give it a try. “, Yoshimura offered. 

Kaneki's Hand shook as he brought the cup of coffee to his lips. He was prepared for himself to throw it up. He found that it was not the case. 

Touka watched bored. 

“This is delicious! But no matter what I eat, it tastes awful”, Kaneki explained. 

He had a few tears run down his face. 

“Through the ages, coffee is the only thing that ghouls have been able to enjoy, the way humans do. However, we cannot satisfy our hunger by drinking it alone. Take this”, Yoshimura explained. 

Yoshimura handed Kaneki a wrapped package. 

“What is it?”, Kaneki asked even though he had an inkling. 

“When you need more, come on back. You need not hesitate. There is plenty where that came from”, Yoshimura said. 

Kaneki took the package and left. 

Yoshimura and Touka started to clean up the cafe. 

“I don’t get why you decided to help that kid.”, Touka started. 

“Touka, a little while ago, there was a story about an organ transplant on the news, remember?”Some steel beams fell, and two students were crushed beneath them.

The doctor took it upon himself to transplant the organs from the deceased girl into the surviving young man's body.”, Yoshimura spoked. 

Touka halted. Of course she knew. She caused it. 

“The girl that died in that accident was Rize.”, Yoshimura finished. 

“Then, you don't mean “, Touka pretended to be shocked. 

“Yes. He is that young man.He has had ghoul organs transplanted into him.”, Yoshimura said. 

“You gotta be kidding me.”, Touka said. 

That did explain a few things. 

“It's the first time I've seen this happen, but his body may be becoming like ours.”, Yoshimura said. 

Touka knew that would make everything harder. 

Don’t worry (Y/N). She’d protect her from Kaneki. 

~~~

Kaneki’s stomach growled. He gripped his head. 

Flesh Flesh Flesh Flesh Flesh Flesh Flesh Flesh Flesh Flesh Flesh 

“You're neither a ghoul, nor a human. There's no place left for a half-and-half like you anywhere now.”, Touka’s words echoed in his mind. 

Out of his own mind, Rize appeared. 

“Who cares if you're a half-and-half? Neither a human, nor a ghoul You're still you.(Y/N) would like you. Enjoy being a half-and-half.That delicious flesh is waiting for you. It's so delicious, it's tantalizing. Once you start eating it, you won't be able to stop. It will put any steak to shame. Now, go on. Wolf it down. It's prepared extra-specially rare.”, Rize teased

She wrapped her arms around Kaneki. 

Kaneki screamed. He dropped down and his hands from the package. He was so hungry. 

His phone started to ring. He tossed the package to the side. He would eat it soon. 

~~~ 

Kaneki walked on campus. He had an eyepatch over his ghoulish eye. He looked at his phone. 

"New message"

 "Hide" 

"Sub: You're gonna die alone" "

Missing you a bunch in Asian History" "

You need my notes?" "Missing you a bunch in Asian History"

 "You need my notes?" 

Hide and (Y/N) turned a corner. 

“Kaneki”, (Y/N) questioned. 

Hide’s eyes followed her gaze. 

There was Kaneki. 

Hide started screaming and running until he grabbed Kaneki from behind.

(Y/N) followed minus the screaming. 

“Dang it Kaneki! How long are you gonna skip class, you jerk?! Put yourself in my shoes! If you don’t come back soon, I’m going to die of loneliness”, Hide said. 

(Y/N) moved and gave Kaneki a hug. 

Kaneki didn’t want her to pull away. But she did. 

“I have missed you Kaneki”, (Y/N) said. 

She gazed at his eyepatch. 

Kaneki blushed before turning towards Hide. 

“Hide, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And what's up with the eye patch? Are you styling it up? While you were gone, I was so bored that before I knew it”, Hide rambled on. 

(Y/N) raised her hand to ghost over the eye patch. 

“Is your eye okay? You seemed sad when Hide mentioned it”, (Y/N) asked. 

“I’m alright”, Kaneki reassured her. 

Now that you are by my side. 

Hide started to shake Kaneki. 

“Hey! Are you even listening to me? Earth to Kaneki”,  Hide asked. 

“I’m  sorry? What did you say?”Kaneki asked. 

Hide groaned. 

“Hide, Kaneki. Let’s go”, (Y/N) said. 

She started to walk towards the club room. 

.

“I've got to go see Nishiki. He is an upperclassman with the sharp tongue but he’s okay. Do y’all want to come with me?”, (Y/N) asked. 

And leave you in a room by yourself with a strange man. No way. 

“Sure”, Kaneki and Hide responded at the same time. 

They sent one another a glare as they trailed after (Y/N). 

Both of them sent glances towards (Y/N)’s bum. It was so adorable. 

“Kaneki, are you eating right?You're looking pale. Remember I told you to take care of yourself”, (Y/N) said. 

“(Y/N)‘s right.  You've gotta eat, or you'll ruin your health.”, Hide agreed with (Y/N). 

(Y/N) cares about me! I love you, (Y/N). 

The trio walked to the club room. They arrived. 

Inside of the room, Nishiki was there with a picture of (Y/N). It was an underwear shot that he got when she was hanging up some decorations. She had been wearing a red lace pair. He could feel himself getting excited. 

(Y/N) opened the door. 

Nishiki dropped his phone on the table. 

“Nishiki, I'm sorry. I should have knocked”, (Y/N) apologized. 

He looked at her. 

“If it’s you, I don’t mind.  If it’s someone else, I do”, Nishiki started. 

Hide and Kaneki followed her into the room. 

Nishiki turned his chair around to face the two other men. 

“So anyway, this is Kaneki, the good friend I mentioned before.”, Hide introduced Kaneki. 

The Kaneki that slept with (Y/N)?

Kaneki’s eyes widened. It was the ghoul that Touka beat. 

(Y/N) was friends with this monster. He was going to hurt her. 

Nishiki's eyes widened when he saw Kaneki. 

The ghoul from before? (Y/N) was his damn it. 

Nishiki stood. He patted Kaneki on the back before wrapping an arm around (Y/N). 

“Nishio Nishiki, second year, School of Pharmacy. Good to meet you, Kaneki.” , Nishiki introduced himself. 

How dare he touch (Y/N)! 

“Nishiki, do you have last year's material?”, (Y/N) asked. 

 Nishiki thought for a moment. 

“Where did I put that? Aw, it might be at home.”, Nishiki answered.

This is the perfect opportunity to get (Y/N) into his bed. 

“I don’t live too far. If you want, we could walk over there right now”, Nishiki offered. 

(Y/N) nodded.

“Kaneki and Hide. I’m sorry, but I have to stop by Nishiki’s place, so head on out without me.”

“No!”, Kaneki cried. 

She can’t be alone with that ghoul. He’ll eat her. 

(Y/N) tilted her head confused. 

“Um, is it okay if I go, too?”Kaneki asked. 

“Yeah me too.”, Hide joined in. 

(Y/N) looked at Nishiki. 

“Is that alright with you?”, (Y/N) asked. 

Nishiki sighed. 

“Yeah, sure. It's not like I'm planning on letting him in.”

(Y/N) smiled at him. 

“Thank you.” 

She gave him a hug. 

Nishiki hugged her back. He released her. 

“Come on”, Nishiki spoke before leading them to his house. 

“Yes, step right up. These are freshly made.”

(Y/N) turned towards the sound. The food smelled good. Her mouth started to water. 

Nishiki glanced at her then towards the food. 

“You want one (Y/N)”, Nishiki asked. 

(Y/N) nodded shyly. She started to reach into her pocket for some money. 

Nishiki stopped her. 

“I’ll buy you one. Hide, Kaneki. You are on your own for this treat”, Nishiki said. 

Nishiki stepped into line to buy (Y/N) a sweet. 

“Here you go (Y/N). “, Nishiki said. 

“Thank you. I’ll pay you back”, (Y/N) offered. 

You can pay me back on your knees. 

She took the sweet and started to eat it. 

Nishiki turned his attention to Kaneki. He had to get more information about him. 

“Kaneki, are you in any clubs?”, he asked. 

“Oh, I don't do that well around large groups.”, Kaneki replied. 

“The exact opposite of Nagachika, huh? And (Y/N) too”, Nishiki notes.  

The group started to walk again. Nishiki led him down a dark pathway. Nishiki turned around and kicked Hide deeper into the alleyway. 

“Hide”, (Y/N) cried out. 

She ran down the alleyway to find Hide. 

“I thought I was the only ghoul on campus. I guess not. Though I was the only ghoul interested in (Y/N)”, Nishiki teased. 

Nishiki gripped Kaneki’s neck and slammed him into the wall. 

“Think I don’t know your plan? You were going to try and eat (Y/N). Weren’t you? I won’t let you”, Nishiki sounded insane. 

Nishiki tightens his hand around Kaneki’s throat. 

“You’re a monster. (Y/N) won’t love you”, Kaneki groaned out. 

Nishiki narrowed his eyes. He let go of Kaneki so he could punch Kaneki in the stomach. He punched a hole in Kaneki’s stomach. 

��Kaneki threw up blood. 

“You better watch your mouth. You’re starting to piss me off”, Nishiki warned. 

Nishiki left Kaneki there. He started to walk towards (Y/N) and Hide. 

(Y/N) moved in front of Hide. She was on her knees. She was terrified. 

“Don’t hurt him”, (Y/N) said even though her voice was trembling. 

Nishiki bent down to be level with (Y/N). 

“You should worry about yourself”, Nishiki shot back. 

Kaneki struggled to stand. He had a clear view of (Y/N) and Nishiki. 

Nishiki pulled (Y/N) close. He could smell her. He tilted her head up and connected his lips to hers. He pushed his tongue into her mouth. She tasted so sweet. 

“No”, Kaneki yelled. 

Tears fell down her face. 

Nishiki pulled away after a bit. 

“You’re addictive”. 

[anti-kawaii-daily]

Today's Anti-Kawaii Character of The Day is Ren/[REDACTED] from 14 Days With You! He wears Yumekawaii as Ren and Goth Punk as [REDACTED], they also fit into the Yandere, Hinedere and Dorodere archetypes!

This character was requested by anonymous!

[ibelieveinenergy]

a song for each tokyo ghoul insane character i love

[psychoanimelysis]

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[envy-of-the-apple]

I'm 99% sure it was called "Forever Yours" and it was a yandere oneshot series basically of a ton of popular anime boys from the time. The ones I remember were the Tokyo Ghoul dude, there were some Death Note guy chapters, there was the ML from Kamisama kiss, OH and the white haired guy from Psycho-Pass. There were like 50 chapters. It had probably a million likes or something it was INSANELY popular.

Ryntymy also had some other ongoing fics (and a ryntymny/reader crack fic, god, love them for that), but god it's soooo hard to remember.

i DID find a post about one of the fics i knew of that was actually REALLY GOOD that you would have LOVED (it was very similar to saltburn although it's quotev so this yandere was ofc pretty tame):

https://www.reddit.com/r/Quotev/comments/1b652gu/trying_to_find_old_x_reader_fic/

as for what's still up... hm. i do remember parallel ink, and also psychadelic peanut (they had this really trippy izaya fic):

https://www.quotev.com/story/9754667/Unfortunate-YandereIzaya-Orihara-x-Reader/1

AH parallel ink wrote kingdom of possession, which i DO remember:

https://www.quotev.com/story/6759314/Kingdom-of-Possession-Yandere-King-x-Reader

and there was this one series that was ACTUALLY quizzes, which was neat:

https://www.quotev.com/quiz/8085561/Out-of-Sight-Out-of-Mind

this one was a pretty fun sort of mystery style thing:

https://www.quotev.com/story/11260294/Seesaw/1

and this one was like. formative for my longing for pathetic masochistic men. i wasn't super into it back then but THE SEEDS WERE PLANTED:

https://www.quotev.com/story/8901227/Then-Came-You-Sadistic-Reader-x-Yandere-Character-One-Shots/2

SEESAW????? I lovedddd that fic so so much ahhhh it was amazing!!! the fic put me in so much denial cuz i was like 'its him! wait no its not him? wait it IS him? no wait-' very very entertaining

speaking of murder mystery yandere fics...there was this one where the reader was isekaid onto a train and quickly pieces together that all of the passengers resemble ppl from this book they read years ago...except they cant remember the ending aka they dont know who the murderer is. pretty sure the author deleted it but it was good!

its so funny you mention psychedelic peanut cuz i remember they got canceled???? actually...pretty sure parallel ink did too...as well the rest of their clique....and thats why i zipped outta the quotev yandere community!

actually that one aot isekai i was talking about was hosted on quotev! pretty much the height of literature, there's no competition. if i dont find it im just tempted to just rewrite it.

Curse of a Broken Promise is still up there and i think it still holds up! its a yandere kaneki ken fic and the writing is so....whimsical? idk how to explain it but it whenever i read it i always felt so sad. good read!

Imperishable affection (yandere!mafioso x reader) is ALSO written by the same author. basically yandere mafia boss guy threatens you into loving him or else your family dies yada yada so ofc the mc does. for a quotev yandere fic its pretty dark actually.

You Need Me (Yandere Manipulator x reader) THIS was the fic that brought me into the yandere thing. and the author used to update EVERY day so this whole this was an event. and the TWIST i remember being 14 and gasping like 'omg he did EVERYTHING???' very very good

If you want a izayax reader fic whos author WASNT wierd might i suggest Twisted Obsession. Beautiful writing. Its better than most ao3 writing actually and wayyy above mine. I love the way this author characterizes Izaya in this and the backstory for why hes so strange is pretty believable. like i fully believe it should be canon.

Savior Complex is an aot isekai where the mc gets whisked into a yandere sim where Petra is the love interest and the rest of the aot cast is obsessed with her. but we can all guess what happens. pretty good tho!!!

BUT EVERYONE GO READ PRETTY its a gojo x LATINA READER AHHHHHH YESSSS. i just LOVE LOVE LOVE the way this author writes. its so poetic and there's so much left up for interpretation.

[bloodblanks]

the sun will always rise again [kaneki ken x reader]

In an alternate timeline where despite his defeat by Arima, Kaneki retains his memories, and during his imprisonment in Cochlea, meets you instead.

author's note: this fanfiction will contain mature content, including explicit sexual acts, kidnapping, mentions of violence, and similar themes.

additional notes: this was supposed to be a yandere (prisoner 240) kaneki x reader but he turned out extremely soft. warning you right now that this is also the least sexy smut i’ve ever written and kaneki just cries for the vast majority of it. sorry in advance tehe...

please read at your own discretion.

this work has not yet been proofread.

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.

Those words were the ones that resonated the hardest with Kaneki when he read Les Misérables, the book you lent him. After all, the nights in his cell were long, cold, and lonely. And so, to him, you were like the rising sun; the first ray of light to grace his eyes when he woke up the next day. The beam of luminescence that shone through the dense, smothering darkness shrouding his days.

Prisoner 240 was what the wardens and investigators stopping by would refer to him as. It was as if his name was forgotten, his identity erased and reduced to mere numbers. He couldn’t help but wonder if that was all he would be remembered as, when he eventually dies in this desolate, forsaken place. If he was even remembered at all, that is. More likely than not, he would just be a case file stored away in the vast archive of the CCG. And all that would remain of him—the fact that he ever existed—would be old, yellowing documents.

As time passed, Kaneki slowly began to accept that would be the harsh reality he’d endure. The bleakness of his situation and the grief weighing heavily on his heart were the source of many sleepless nights, ones where he’d ceaselessly cry, lamenting the tragedy that was his life. His eyes were not only irritated but also beginning to show signs of infection from all the scratching and rubbing he’d uncontrollably inflict. Any food that was brought to him was left untouched. He simply didn’t have an appetite. Eventually, the hunger settled into a dull ache accompanied by nausea, and he could feel his body begin to weaken, the mere act of standing up becoming straining.

“Kaneki?” It had been so long since he heard the sound of his own name, he almost didn’t recognize that you were speaking to him. It was only when you repeated his name a second time that he tentatively turned his head towards the source of the unfamiliar voice.

He momentarily felt disappointed when he couldn’t see anyone, only the heavy steel door that served to confine him. He felt foolish for thinking he would see anyone inside; the door hadn’t been opened since he arrived. Any conversations—or rather, interrogations—took place with the door in between, and any food was brought through the flap at the bottom of the door.

But then he saw the top of your head, your eyes peeking at him through the small windowpane, the knuckles of your hand softly rapping against the reinforced glass.

“Can I come in?” you asked.

He agreed.

—

Kaneki quickly learned your name. He learned that you weren’t an investigator, but rather a newly hired staff member to assist in rehabilitation. Almost like a therapist, you had explained with a soft laugh. He learned that he appreciated the sound of your laughter, the tune of your voice. It was the closest thing to music that he could hear.

He learned that you, too, liked to read. Upon the mention of literature and discovering his interest, you offered to lend him some of your books. It was the only thing someone had provided him since he was brought here, excluding the food that he didn’t have an appetite for.

“I want you to eat, though,” you had insisted. “You can’t read anything if you starve yourself to death.”

He ate. He slowly regained his strength, your company motivating him to continue getting through the days. Continue surviving in this world.

He didn’t have the ability to keep track of time, but he learned that you visited him every day in the morning, not long after he would wake up. This quickly became a routine that he would look forward to, the only thoughts on his mind before he fell asleep being ones of seeing you the next day.

It was far too late for Kaneki when he realized what he felt for you was more than just appreciation and gratefulness. More than just platonic admiration and enjoyment of mutual, shared interests. More than even just a crush; the budding blossoms of childlike adoration having already bloomed into a garden of unadulterated infatuation.

By the time he learned of his own emotions, he had already sunken too deep, drowning in a sea of longing and desire for you. Perhaps it would’ve been more accurate to describe it as quicksand—any attempts at barricading his feelings or struggling against them only served to further strengthen them. The more he thought about you, the more he thought about how he shouldn’t want you, the more he found himself miserably flailing in a bottomless pit of coveting.

“Kaneki.” You were sitting on his bed as you spoke. There wasn’t much furniture in his room, so during your interactions, you preferred to just sit on his bed. It’s not exactly professional, you had told him the first time you kicked off your shoes, sitting cross-legged on his mattress. But I don’t like to stand, and I doubt they’ll bother me about it too much, as long as I’m still doing my job. “Have you figured out what you want to do yet?”

He had been standing next to the bed as he always did. Despite the overwhelming urge to get closer to you, to sit next to you, he always held himself back. You were just doing your job, after all. While you were kind to him, it was impossible that you would genuinely care for him.

For even if only partially, he was still a ghoul.

He knew what you were referring to; you had mentioned that the CCG would like for him to join them as an investigator. It was something he was extremely reluctant about. While he didn’t inherently disagree with the CCG’s existence, he struggled with the idea of having to turn against his friends, the place he once thought of as ‘home.’ To some extent, he still considered it that, but he wasn’t sure how much of it was even left. It was a thought he tried his best not to dwell on.

While joining the CCG itself was a conflicting choice to make, there was something else that he couldn’t help but wonder, ever since you mentioned the subject.

What would happen to us?

How ludicrous of him; he was nothing but a patient to you. He couldn’t—shouldn’t—be thinking of more. The mere notion of having anything with you was something forbidden, something sinful.

And yet, simply conceptualizing his days without your company was enough to overwhelm him with a debilitating fear.

The question had been plaguing his mind ever since you first mentioned the subject. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, the constant terror of losing you was gnawing away at the recesses of his sick, twisted mind.

It seemed as though he wasn’t the sole person feeling unsettled. As you waited for his answer, he noticed the way your gaze was more intently fixated on him than usual, the way your fingernails were anxiously picking at the skin around your thumbs.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, though as much as he should’ve, he wasn’t expecting the answer you gave him.

“You need to join them.” Your voice was low and tense, almost as if you were afraid of the words themselves. As you spoke, you averted your gaze, a visible frown forming on your usually cheerful face. “They’re getting impatient. I’ve been trying to buy you more time, but if they deem you to be useless, then...”

He didn’t need you to finish your sentence to know what you were referring to. He should’ve seen it coming, but he was too distracted by you. He foolishly blinded himself with your light, temporarily forgetting the darkness he resided in.

“What happens to us?” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He internally cursed himself for daring to ask such a thing. He had no right.

Still, the words had been said, and all he could do was wait for your response, the individual seconds seeming to stretch on for an eternity each.

“We might pass by each other in the offices, but other than that, I doubt we’ll be interacting much.” Your words were nothing short of dreadful to him, and he didn’t want to hear the rest of what you had to say, but he had no choice. “My work with you will be considered ‘concluded,’ and they’ll assign me another person to work with. I suppose we could speak outside of work hours, but I don’t really know enough about investigative work to say for sure. From what I’ve observed, the investigators seem pretty preoccupied with their work, and their hours seem different from mine, too... Ah, sorry for rambling,” you said with a soft laugh. What once was a pleasant melody to him now only served to increase his torment as he realized even that was being taken away from him.

The reason for him to wake up every morning. The peace he needed to fall asleep each evening. The sole ray of sunshine to grace his days of somber solitude.

Without the sun to rise back up again, would he be plunged back into the abyss?

No, he couldn’t accept that. He couldn’t accept losing the comfort of your company, he couldn’t accept losing the warmth of your smile, the chime of your laugh. He had already experienced the way the other investigators treated him, the way they looked at him. He knew what they thought of him, and he knew their opinions would never change.

You were the only one to treat him like a person. He had lost enough in his life. He couldn’t lose this—he couldn’t lose you, too.

“No,” he whispered, his body riddled with terror. “No, you can’t—”

“I’m sorry, Kaneki,” you sighed, glancing at him with a wistful smile. “I don’t have much of a say in this.”

“No,” his voice was louder this time, though you were clearly able to hear the trembling in his pitch as he spoke, for your eyes widened in surprise. And in contrast to the way his hands were shaking, his mind was made up and unwavering. “I’m sorry.”

—

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.

That’s what Kaneki kept telling himself, repeating the words over and over in his head like a mantra. But even the sun, as majestic and benevolent as it was, was bound to burn out one day. Scientists estimated that the sun would die in about five billion years, but it felt as if the rays of light engulfing his world had already perished.

Despite the dim, dingy atmosphere in his cell, your smile had always been enough to light up the small room. Now, with the sun having set into the clouds, the sky’s vermillion tint being stained by darkness, would your presence still provide the same glowing luminescence that it used to?

Kaneki couldn’t help but ponder that question, ruminating over it again and again as he gently laid you on his bed, careful not to wake you. As much as he wanted to deny it, as much as he wanted to convince himself otherwise, all the thinking he did only brought him back to one conclusion—sunlight would no longer reach his world.

And it’s all your fault, his own mind told him. You ruined everything. Because you’re selfish. Because you’re weak. Because you’re a coward.

No, he furiously shook his head, as if trying to physically expel those thoughts from his own mind. It’s not my fault, it’s not my fault... I did what I had to do! I had no other choice!

As he finished dusting off the last of the furniture in his bedroom, he glanced up towards you. You were still asleep, your expression eerily peaceful as you rested. Almost as if this was just another evening for you. As if you were just sleeping at home. As if he hadn’t rendered you unconscious and escaped Cochlea, bringing your inanimate body back to his former apartment—an abandoned and dilapidated space.

Upon seeing the serenity displayed over your features, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt, the doubts in his mind getting louder. You’ll never see her like that again, he unwittingly told himself.

Next time she looks at you, she’ll see you for what you really are—

As soon as that thought came to his mind, he could feel his chest being set ablaze, his ribcage serving as firewood for the flames that licked at the cavity of his heart. Similar to the sensation of smoke clogging up his lungs caused the mere act of breathing to become difficult. Kaneki grasped at his own chest. The thought of digging it inside out tempted him, though he knew his efforts would be fruitless. Instead, he desperately clasped his hands over his own ears in a futile attempt to shut out his own thoughts.

No. I’m not a monster!

“—’m not, I’m not—” His words were barely coherent; a string of frantic mumbles spilling past his lips in between trembling breaths and violent gasps. The tears welling up in his eyes distorted his vision, though he paid no mind. Instead, his focus was on repeating the same phrase, as if each utterance of the statement would make it more true. “—not a monster, not a monster, not a monster—”

Then, what do you think she’ll see you as? Do you truly believe she’ll think of you the same way?

Kaneki’s hands shook incessantly, the grip of his fingers tightening as he fought to silence his own mind. Though the tears finally escaped past his waterline and splashed down his pale cheeks, his sight remained a blur, newborn teardrops continuing to glaze over his eyes as he vehemently sobbed.

“E-Even the darkest night will end,” he wheezed, the words barely able to make it past the hard lump that had formed at the back of his throat. His hands instinctively went to his eyes, harshly and hastily wiping away the tears that had left streaks down the sides of his cheeks. He forcefully rubbed at them, though the same instant he did so, the memory of all the times you comforted him—helping him calm his tears—instantly struck him, alongside the knowledge that he would likely never experience that again.

And it was all his fault.

The same phrase from the book you initially lent him was now being chanted much like a prayer, though he wasn’t sure what he was praying for, or to whom. “—and the sun will rise. Even the darkest night—”

“Kaneki?” As soon as he heard your voice, he froze. He wanted to explain himself, he wanted to beg for your forgiveness, he wanted to— “Why are you crying?”

Reminiscent of the first time you had called his name, the words once again almost failed to register. But as the seconds passed, and he finally consciously recognized what you were saying, he couldn’t help but feel a spark of hope reigniting in his chest.

Foolish, he could hear his own thoughts reverberate within the chamber of his mind. She just woke up; she clearly hasn’t realized what you’ve done. But when she does...

A fresh wave of terror washed over Kaneki’s body, the blood in his veins seemingly having turned to ice. For a moment, all he could hear was the throbbing of his own pulse, each beat seeming to send ripples through his skull. The tightness in his chest appeared to worsen, almost as if his body was a wet rag being twisted in someone’s fists. Despite his inability to form coherent sentences or will his body to move, the tears in his eyes never stopped their cascading, small puddles forming on the floor directly below his chin, where fresh droplets would splash against.

His body quaked with each sob, trembling as if the weight of his wrongdoings was simply too much to hold up.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” you asked, prompting Kaneki to finally raise his head and look directly at you. He could see you rubbing your eyelids as you propped yourself up into a sitting position, and he could see the way your gaze quickly scanned the room you were in. You definitely had realized what had happened now, and any concern you had for him was surely gone.

He wasn’t far from you—just a few feet away from the bed, a distance which he hurried to close without thinking, stumbling forward to wrap his arms around your body. His knees harshly collided against the floor as he knelt by the bed, his face buried in your sternum as he desperately clung onto you.

The words came out rushed and unfiltered as he babbled; a coalescence of anguished pleas and tormented wails.

“I’m sorry!” With his lips barely a centimetre away from the fabric of your clothes, his voice was relatively muffled, making it harder to distinguish his already garbled speech. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry! Please—” Forgive me, he wanted to say. But did he even have the right to ask for something like that? Kaneki quickly discarded the thought, taking in a sharp, quivering inhale as he started a different sentence instead. “I know what I did was wrong. I know I shouldn’t have, but... I was just so scared. I was afraid I’d lose you—”

When Kaneki felt you shifting your arm, trying to tug it out of his grip, he knew he had both irrevocably and irreparably fucked up. His grip around you loosened for a moment, the overwhelming feeling of defeat causing him to second guess himself. Maybe this wasn’t the right decision. Maybe he should’ve just suppressed his urges. He would still be able to see you around the workplace, even if it wasn’t often. He would still be able to enjoy your company, even if you never returned the extent of his feelings.

Maybe then, the sun would still rise.

“The foolish Icarus forsook his guide,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, “and, bold in vanity, began to soar, rising upon his wings to touch the skies.” Another strangled sob left his vocal cords, the following lines playing through his head. But as he neared the scorching sun, its heat softened the fragrant wax that held his plumes; and heat increasingly melted the soft wax—he waved his naked arms instead of wings, with no more feathers to sustain his flight.

“Where are you?” you mumbled, your arm slipping out from his weakened grip. “In what place shall I seek you, Icarus?”

Kaneki was still registering your words when he felt a light touch to the back of his head, the sensation instantly causing his body to tense. Of course, you couldn’t actually inflict any harm on him, but the unforeseen action still startled him. He couldn’t tell what you were doing or why you were doing it, something that made him both anxious and hopeful.

As pathetic and unrealistic as it was, he couldn’t help but hope that maybe the fact that you hadn’t pulled away yet or screamed at him meant that you wouldn’t reject him.

So, when your palm and fingers lightly smoothed down the back of his hair, not just once, but twice, three times, and continuing—the embers of yearning only intensified, his impious desires burning bright like his shame.

“There’s nothing for you to be scared of.” Your voice was so gentle, so soothing, that he could only think of one thing. I must be hallucinating. “You aren’t losing me. I’m not going anywhere.”

For a brief moment, Kaneki was rendered speechless. Everything you had just said was everything he wanted to hear, so much so that he couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

“But I—” he stammered, struggling to finish his sentence, “I—” He knew very well what he did. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to say his actions out loud, for if he didn’t, it would be easier to pretend otherwise. Though, he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince you, or himself.

“—It’s okay,” you interrupted him, saving him from the need to finish his sentence. “I understand. I’m not upset at you.”

“You’re lying!” Kaneki shouted, his arms wrapped around you tensing with his sudden agitation. “You’re... You’re just saying that. You don’t mean it!”

He noticed the way you flinched at the sudden raise of his voice and the guilt came flooding back, as if someone had directly injected it into his bloodstream. He hadn’t meant to scare you; that was the last thing he wanted to do. As much as he coveted your acceptance and affection, he simultaneously feared it. If something seemed too good to be true, then it usually was. That lesson had cost him a lot to learn.

Despite knowing that it would be far more reasonable to doubt your words, Kaneki so desperately wanted to believe them. He wanted to believe that—even for a second—he could be forgiven. He could be cared for. He could be loved.

What a pitiful creature he was.

“I’m sorry,” And so the apologies came spilling again, a deluge of miserable excuses rushing past his lips. “I didn’t mean to scare you... I didn’t mean to...” His voice came out feeble and small, the continuous watering of his eyes sure to have soaked through the fabric of your top by now.

“This isn’t what I wanted... I just wanted to be with you. I just wanted us to be happy together. I know it’s wrong, but,” he sniffled as he lamented away, “but you’re all I have! What else was I supposed to do?”

His voice was strained with despair as he wailed, his weeping becoming louder while his breathing quickened, growing frantic as he felt that oxygen was no longer reaching his lungs. In between panicked inhales, he managed to choke out the words, “I’m so sorry...”

“It’s okay, Kaneki,” you whispered, the rhythmic feeling of your fingers stroking his hair continuing to repeat as you spoke. “Try to steady your breathing—everything is okay.”

Your words were so reassuring, so much of everything that he had ever hoped for, that he couldn’t help but seek for more.

“No, that’s not true,” he protested, wanting nothing more than to receive more validation from you. You should be ashamed of yourself, his mind said. And he was; he was deeply ashamed. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to act otherwise. Weak, his own voice replied, you can’t control your own impulses. And look what happened. “You... You really just hate me, don’t you?”

“And why would I hate you?” What left your lips was a question, but you surely knew the answer. Were you just trying to make him say it? Force him to admit what he had done wrong? Perhaps you were punishing him. But he deserved it, didn’t he?

“Because—” he croaked, trying his best to expel the words from his throat. “Because I’m a monster!”

“Kaneki,” When you said his name, he braced himself for the pain of rejection, but it never came. “You’re not a monster, and I don’t hate you.”

He had to be dreaming. He had to. But the tenderness of your hand caressing his hair, the warmth of your body held in his arms, and the lingering scent of your fragrance mixed with the dried scent of rust where some blood had accidentally splattered over you earlier that day—all of it was too vivid, too visceral to be fiction.

Moments passed with the both of you still, the only evidence that time hadn’t stopped right then and there being the steady pulse of your heart beating so close to his ears.

“If anything,” you finally spoke after some time, your voice hushed as if you were confessing your sins to a priest, “I’m kind of glad that you did this.”

Your words caused Kaneki’s eyes to snap wide open, and he lifted his head from your chest, gazing up to meet your eyes at last. His lips were already parted in a silent gasp when he spoke.

“What? Why would you be?—” His words were cut off short when your hand left the back of his head, the momentary absence worrying him until you brought it back, but this time to his face, lifting away the strands of ivory locks that had fallen in front of his eyes. He felt the flat surface of your thumb against his tear stained cheek, your finger sliding across the surface of his skin to wipe away some of the lingering wetness.

“You think you’re the only one who wants something you can’t have?” A small smile tugged at the corner of your lips, your eyes gazing directly into his with such sincerity that he struggled to maintain eye contact. The expression in your eyes was something foreign to him; he wasn’t used to having someone look at him like this.

“You don’t mean that,” he couldn’t help but demur, though his voice shook with uncertainty. What once was a mere scintilla of hope had quickly become a much larger spark, its light seeping through the cracks of his defenses. “How could you—” ever want someone like me?

But then Kaneki felt your hand trail down his face, thumb no longer against his cheek but rather his bottom lip, and his question died on the tip of his tongue, the words only ever uttered in his mind before he ceased thinking altogether. He couldn’t tell whether his heart had stopped, or if it was instead beating too fast for him to distinguish between each pulse.

“It feels nice, you know?” Your voice was nothing short of alluring, and the simple act of your finger brushing over his lip enough to send shivers down his spine and a rosy flush rising up his cheeks. The intensity of your gaze was mesmerizing, and at the same time he felt like a deer caught in headlights, unable to do anything but stare. “Being needed by someone else...”

In that moment, he could have sworn he lost the ability to comprehend language, barely even a word able to leave his lips. “But—”

“—Is it wrong of me?” you asked, your thumb still grazing over his lip. “Is it wrong of me to want you like this?”

“No, but—”

“—I need you too, you know.” You once again cut him off. “I like you. I like that I matter to you.” As you admitted that, you let out a soft laugh, the mere sound alone making his intestines tangle around the frantically beating organ that was his heart. “I suppose I’m the sick one.”

“No, I...” Fuck, his words were catching in his throat as he desperately tried to conjure up a coherent sentence. He wasn’t sure what to say; he wasn’t even sure what was going on. But he knew he wanted to insist on one thing. “You’re not sick.”

Your thumb barely flicked over the edge of his lower lip as you pulled your hand away.

“May I?” you breathed.

May I? The question echoed in his mind, and only then he realized that all of this was happening to him, and it was all real. You had just asked him to kiss. You, who were undeniably sweet and enchanting, with a smile that rivaled the luminosity of a supernova, eyelashes gracefully brushing over endless pools of compassion, and him. Him, a ghoul—a monster that feasted on the flesh and blood of your very kind, a selfish coward that plucked you out of the comfort and safety you once had, all because he was too weak to control himself.

And yet you wanted to kiss him, something utterly incomprehensible to him. But, as wrong and irrational as it was, he wanted it, too.

“I—” Kaneki found himself pathetically spluttering, trying to put his emotions into words. “I don’t deserve any of this,” he started, inhaling shakily as he tried to steady himself before continuing. “But even though I shouldn’t, I... I still want you to, if that’s okay.” His voice had become so small, barely even audible as he finished his sentence. His eyes were watering again, the conflicting feeling of his guilt battling with his desire for you enough to make him want to cry, to look away, to run—but he remained firmly in place, his eyes fixed on yours.

The first thing Kaneki noticed when you leaned in, your free hand tangling itself into the back of his hair, was that your lips were incredibly soft. The second thing he noticed, a horrific realization that dawned upon him that very second, was that he had no idea what he was doing. Although his grip around you relaxed, he had no idea where to put his hands, or what exactly he was supposed to do with his mouth—he’d never actually kissed anyone before.

He figured that closing his eyes would be a good start, which he did, attempting to make a mental note of what you were doing. It was incredibly difficult to think straight, or even at all, with the warmth of your lips against his, but he tried his best to mimic your actions, mirroring the same movements. Was he doing this right? He couldn’t tell.

When you pulled away for air, he opened his eyes once again, greeted by the sight of your smile, lips now slightly glistening.

“I doubt it’s very comfortable on the floor,” you chuckled, and to his embarrassment, he only then noticed that he’d been kneeling on the floor next to his bed this entire time. “Why don’t you come over here?” You moved to allow more room for him, patting the mattress gently in a gesture for him to sit there. He nodded, climbing onto the bed.

Now that he was on level height with you and no longer barricaded by the edge of the bed, the physical proximity between the two of you suddenly felt a lot closer. It wasn’t something that made much sense, considering how you were kissing just a minute ago, but now there was nothing separating the two of you. Even though you were sitting right next to him, he couldn’t help but want you closer. But it didn’t stop there; he didn’t know if simply holding you would be enough; he wanted to merge with your very bones—something not physically feasible, but still desirable nonetheless. The acknowledgement of his craving for something more intimate felt blasphemous to him. He had already received more than he could have ever dreamed of. More than he could have ever deserved. He should be content with just that, and yet...

The feeling of your hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts temporarily, his full attention back on you as your other hand went to the parallel shoulder, swinging one of your legs over and around his so that your thighs were on top of his, straddling him.

This new position instantly caused Kaneki’s eyes to widen in shock, his body instinctively leaning away before he realized it was already pressed against the wall. Despite having been yearning for proximity, having you sit on his lap, the slight pressure of your weight, the feeling of your arms brushing against his, your face so close to his—he felt like he was burning up, as if a wildfire had spread across his cheeks. He wasn’t sure what shade of red he was blushing at this point, but this was the most flustered he ever experienced up until now, and reasonably so, with his lack of experience.

One of your hands moved to his cheek, cupping it gently as you looked directly at him—into him.

“Is this okay?” you asked, and as much as he wanted to respond, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything more than bashfully nod. His reaction appeared to worry you, as your eyebrows furrowed with concern at his response, or rather, lack thereof.

“We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, okay?” As soon as you said those words, he could feel your weight shift off of him, eliciting an instinctual reaction from him. His arms instantly wrapped around you and pulled you towards him, your chest firmly pressing into his. He could feel his fear spike, a fresh wave of terror washing over him.

She’s going to leave, his mind said. She’s going to leave. She’s going to abandon you, because you can’t do anything right.

“No!” Kaneki cried, burying his face into the crook of your neck. He could feel your pulse through your carotid artery, pulsing against his cheek with each thump of your heart. “No, don’t go! I’m sorry—”

“—It’s okay.” You didn’t try to pull away, letting him continue to embrace you as you spoke. “I’m not going anywhere, but I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“No,” he repeated himself, his voice beginning to crack as tears once again filled his eyes, leaking out onto his cheeks and splattering down against your shoulder.

So stupid, his own crying further fuelling the cauldron of hatred that was boiling over in his chest. So incompetent, he thought. She’s being nice to you, and all you do is cry.

“I’m not—” he tried to say, mustering the ability to say how he felt, despite the shame, despite the constant reminder in his mind that this was wrong. He shouldn’t be doing this with you. You were too good for him. “I’m not uncomfortable, I—”

Kaneki gulped, taking a deep breath.

“I want this,” he finally declared. He didn’t know how it was possible that you still wanted him—he was a mess. Not only did he have no idea what he was doing, he had also been pitifully crying this entire time. He was sure that this was the least attractive thing you had ever seen, and it was astonishing that you hadn’t simply lost interest by now.

“Okay,” you replied, “but just let me know if you want to stop, or anything like that.” You insisted, before adding more, “I won’t be upset.”

The reassurance you gave him was enough to have him finally loosen his grip around you, arms no longer coiled around your frame as he leaned back against the wall, a soft smile on his face as he nodded.

With that, your lips were back on his, though this time he was able to match his movements with yours, the taste of your mouth oddly pleasant as his tongue brushed against your own. Everything in the room felt hot, too hot, like someone had turned the heating to its maximum. Not only did the temperature feel like it had risen tremendously, but the sensation of your lips melting against his combined with the small shifts of your weight on his lap was also—much to his horror—causing his brain to send signals straight down to his hips. His eyes widened as he felt his own member twitch, the blood seeming to leave his head to fuel his erection instead, something that had quickly transformed from absence to demanding full attention. The weight of your body and each fraction of a movement you did gave it just enough friction for him to notice, but not nearly enough to satiate his newfound need. But as soon as that thought ended, he came to a terrible conclusion.

What if you could feel it, too?

No, he couldn’t let you notice—the act of kissing you alone was sinful; to covet this was nothing short of sacrilege.

What should I do? He wondered, frantically going through his options. Should I try to adjust our position and move her off my lap? Or should I pretend that nothing’s going on, and hope she doesn’t notice?

As he was contemplating his options, he felt you pull away, peering at him with confusion visibly written over your features.

“Is something wrong?” you inquired, causing him to realize that he was inanimate for a second too long, with how much he was caught up in his own thoughts. It had clearly taken him too long to think of a response, and he was certain his face was betraying his embarrassment, because your eyes glanced downward for a second, and that was all it took for you to put two and two together. “Oh, you—”

“I’m sorry!” Kaneki instantly blurted out, mortified at the situation. Maybe now, you’d think he was a pervert—some kind of creep. He could swear he wasn’t; he had never thought about you in this way before, and curse his body for reacting the way it did. He never imagined he would have such unwanted reactions; it wasn’t like he usually had an extremely high libido or paid much attention to such things. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he continued to apologize, “I—”

—Didn’t mean to? Shouldn’t be thinking about you this way? Don’t want to make you uncomfortable? Everything he could think of saying sounded like pathetic, miserable excuses, and was he really about to cry again?

“I didn’t say it was a problem,” you mumbled, and though you were still able to meet his gaze, he saw your eyes flicker away to the side for a moment, the hints of colour staining your cheeks deepening. Your hands cupped the sides of his cheeks again, your touch light as you touched your lips to his forehead in a gentle, reassuring kiss. “And there’s nothing for you to feel bad about.”

The kindness with which you treated him, the look of sheer adoration in your eyes—it was all too much for him. He was so undeserving of this, and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to reject any of what you were offering. He couldn’t even stop himself from wanting more, knowing for himself then that greed knows no bounds.

A tear slid down the side of his cheek. When you saw it, you laughed softly, fingers swiping the small drop away.

“You know,” you started, “With how much you’re crying, I feel like I’m doing something wrong.”

“You’re not!” Kaneki was quick to disagree with your statement. It was almost absurd to him that you could possibly think you were doing anything incorrectly, and he rushed to explain otherwise. “It’s just... Is this— Is this really okay?”

He knew he was pitifully begging for your validation, eyes glancing at you in a silent plea, but it nonetheless had his heart bursting with fireworks when you replied.

“Of course,” you smiled, leaning back in to press a chaste kiss against his lips, and he was just about to kiss you back when you shifted to the side, lips touching his cheek.

As you trailed kisses down to his jaw, then his neck, he could swear each time your lips were on him it felt like molten iron, hot and searing individual marks on his skin. He had never been touched there before, and the few times he had, it was all violent bites or agonizing stabs. The contrast between those experiences and the languid, tender way your mouth gently brushed against the surface of his skin was almost jarring, but entirely, pleasantly so. Every singular action of yours—your mouth was now on his collarbone—both tickled and felt delightful at the same time, an inexplicable concoction that had him unwittingly tilting his head back to expose his throat to you, wordlessly begging for more.

You indulged him, trailing more kisses back up to the exposed flesh, this time taking the slightest bit of skin between your lips, dull teeth grazing over his neck in an entirely unfamiliar, painless way that made him whimper. Your mouth felt so incredibly, almost agonizingly warm when you took more of his flesh in, before letting go a second later, your teeth pleasurably scraping his neck all the while.

Kaneki felt one of your hands trail down to his lap, resting at his inner thigh almost reluctantly. Just close enough for him to understand what you were hinting at.

It shouldn’t have been surprising to him at this point, considering the events that had transpired leading up to this, yet he nonetheless found it hard to accept that this was all really happening. But the sensation of your mouth on his neck and the blazing heat that emanated from every spot you had graced with your touch was more than enough to render him feverish and dazed.

“Are you comfortable undressing?” The way your gaze seemed to pierce through Kaneki’s very soul made him shudder. It felt as if he was already exposed, and he decided that he enjoyed the way your eyes threatened to devour him whole. As if the eye contact alone was enough to put him in a trance, he nodded without thinking, fingers slipping underneath the waistband of his sweatpants. He was glad that he had already showered and changed before you woke up.

However, as soon as he tugged his sweatpants down an inch, revealing the hem of his underwear, he paused. He hadn’t ever undressed for anyone; not like this. He hadn’t thought about or realized it earlier, but now that he was actually doing it, he felt his characteristic shyness return.

“I— I’ve never—” He was practically squeaking when he choked those words out. The urge to bury his face in his hands, or hide himself in some way or another, was overwhelming.

“It’s okay,” you whispered, gingerly pressing your lips to his cheek once again. The way you touched him was so light, all your movements feathery and barely skimming the surface of his skin. As if he was something fragile and frail—as if you were the one afraid of breaking him. “Do you want me to stop?”

Kaneki shook his head.

“No, I don’t want you to stop,” he mumbled, before adding an apology, “I’m sorry...”

“What are you sorry about?” you laughed, pressing another kiss to his cheek, this time firmer. As you finished your sentence, you ran your fingers over the form of his member, and despite the two layers of clothing that separated you, Kaneki’s breath instantly hitched.

The sensation was almost too much for him, a feeling he wasn’t used to experiencing before, not from someone else’s hand. Though he couldn’t even remember the last time he had touched himself; Cochlea’s cells did not exactly have a sensual atmosphere.

At the same time, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t even close to enough. He wanted—needed—more, his fervent desire temporarily overshadowing his bashfulness.

As your fingers hooked onto the edge of underwear, seemingly intent on taking both articles of clothing off at once, he reached for his pants, gently lifting his hips up as he helped you undress him. His eyes were averted to the side as he undressed, though a quick glance revealed how hard he was, his cock begging for attention, small drops of pellucid fluid already leaking from the glistening, pink tip.

“I don’t understand why you would want to do this,” he muttered, still unable to meet your eyes.

“I’d say it’s probably the same reason that you’re hard right now.” Before he could conjure up a response, he felt your fingers on his length, and all coherent thoughts left his head, replaced by a strangled gasp.

The feeling of your fingers slowly wrapping around his erection, gently lifting it up and away from his abdomen was something that seemed to light up nerves that had previously not existed. He tried to take a breath to steady himself, but as soon as his lips parted, he felt a small, experimental stroke. What left his mouth was instead a trembling moan, the possibility of regaining his composure instantly dissipating with the next movement of your hand. Each pump of his cock—your hand feeling inhumanly warm around it—seemed to send a fresh wave of electricity through his body, and within seconds, he found himself reduced to nothing but whimpers. Each sound he made was higher pitched and whinier than the last.

“Does this feel okay?” Kaneki heard you ask, causing him to turn his attention back onto you.

“Ah—” he mewled as your thumb brushed against the back of his tip. You beamed at his reaction, seemingly pleased with yourself.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” you said. As he looked at you, glanced from the way your fingers were gliding up and down his length, then upwards to the surrounding area of your collarbones, he couldn’t help but feel bothered by the sight of your clothing. The fabric that was previously insignificant and meaningless to him was now something frustrating, and he longed to see how your skin looked underneath. His desire for you appeared to be a bottomless pit, an abyss that he continuously fell deeper in, with no end in sight. He wasn’t sure if it’d be okay to ask you something like that or not. On one hand, you had been astonishingly fine with everything occurring up until now, but on the other—

“Hng—” The way you tightened your grip wasn’t lost on him, the heat pooling in his groin threatening to overflow. He could tell he was already close, too close, but—as much as he should just be satisfied with this—he wanted more.

“Ah— I—” He could barely think, let alone speak, each stroke of your hand like a bolt of lightning, something igniting every circuit in his brain so much so that they were frying. “I don’t want to—” he desperately tried to speak before it was too late, “not yet—”

Your hand quickly came to a stop, and your fingers left his throbbing cock, now aching for release more than ever before.

“Do you want to do something else?” you asked him. He took a second to catch his breath before responding, nodding earnestly as he gathered up his courage to admit what he wanted.

“I-I want to make you feel good too,” he stuttered, his resolve dissolving as fast as it materialized. “If that’s... not too much to ask for.”

“Of course not,” you answered, not seeming apprehensive at all, something that had Kaneki’s heart fluttering, like it was a small creature of its own that had grown legs and wings and was seeking to break free from the constraints of his ribcage. “I’d love to, should I...” For the first time, you appeared just as bashful as he was, your eyes diverting to the side as you spoke. “Should I get undressed?”

He hesitated for a moment, unsure if it was really okay to ask you something like this.

“If you don’t mind,” he finally said.

You were still avoiding his gaze as you slid your top off, the rest of your clothing following soon after. He remained unmoving, simply taking in the sight before him with utter awe and admiration.

The sight of your body and bare skin was nothing short of entrancing; Kaneki could only stare at you with utter awe and admiration. With each piece of fabric that was put to the side, you showed him parts of yourself that he never imagined he’d see. And all of it was stunning.

Your skin looked so smooth, so dewy—he longed to feel it against his own—and your body perfectly shaped, each dip and curve too ethereal to not have been sculpted by the hand of a deity. Someone as flawless and divine as you could not be anything but a gift from the gods themselves.

But the gods would never give something so good to a monster like him. His desire for you went deeper than skin and flesh, a craving that was nestled deep within the marrow of his bones. Yet he felt paralyzed. The thought of this being likened to desecration kept him from reaching out towards you.

“How long are you planning to stare at me for?” you chuckled, taking his hand in yours and bringing it to your chest. Your flesh rested in the palm of his hand as he tentatively squeezed, his eyes instantly enlarging. Just from looking at you, he already knew how lovely and delicate you were, but not even his imagination could measure up to how soft everything was.

“I-I—” Kaneki tried to find the right words; it only felt appropriate to say something and not be completely silent. He settled on something simple, unable to quite find the words to perfectly express his thoughts. “You’re so... so pretty.”

This time, when you replied, you looked off to the side, almost seeming embarrassed. “Thank you,” you smiled, before returning the compliment. “So are you.”

The oxygen in his lungs was instantly depleted when you crawled back over his lap, a hand on his shoulder to steady yourself, the other on his member, eliciting a needy whine from him.

“Is this really okay?” Kaneki couldn’t stop himself from asking one last time, just to ensure that you were certain about doing this. “Are you sure you want to do this?” With me, he thought.

But you already know her answer, his own mind scoffed. You just want to hear her say it. You just want her to lie to you, and tell you that you’re not a mon—

“I’m sure,” you replied, unknowingly having interrupted his internal monologue. “Do you want to?”

Of course, he thought, but what came out instead was something different. “Do I— Do I really deserve something like this? Do I really deserve to feel this good, this happy? A monster like me...”

“Kaneki,” Your voice was firm. “You’re not a monster, and even if you were, I’d still love you.”

He didn’t know how long exactly it was, but he knew that he spent a long time simply processing those words.

“Can—” It was as if his tongue had tied itself into knots upon knots. He could barely speak, too astonished by your words to formulate coherent words. “Can you say that one more time?”

“Kaneki,” you repeated his name. He knew he was being desperate, he was being pathetic and needy; he didn’t care. Not when he could audibly hear those words that he had always—despite knowing that he shouldn’t—hoped for. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he breathed, “and... I want this with you.”

Your eyes bore into his very being, and he maintained eye contact this time, affectionately holding your gaze. He could see the dusting of coral in your flushed cheeks, your slightly parted lips that he never wanted to stop kissing, the way your eyelashes framed your irises so gracefully, and your smile, brighter than any quasar.

It felt as if he, himself, had fallen into a galaxy’s glowing core when your body enveloped his own. He felt your walls wrapping around his cock as you slowly lowered yourself, ensheathing the entirety of his length in your warmth, your thighs once again resting on top of his.

His eyes snapped shut for a moment as he tried to steady himself, desperately drawing in breaths. The blazing warmth engulfed everything. Every point of contact between the two of you was a convergence of intense, sweltering heat and eternally detonating fireworks. The sensations were overwhelming. His senses were so heightened that the stimulation was far much more than he could handle; the signals that each miniscule movement sent demanded every last ounce of attention from his overloaded brain. His body practically recoiled at the slightest touch, as if it were a live wire waiting to be shocked.

When his eyes opened again, he saw you sheepishly grinning at him, one of your hands on his shoulder and the other on the back of his neck.

“Okay?” you asked. Kaneki nodded.

You gently rocked your hips against his, every move causing a newborn wave of pleasure to wash over him. Strings of whimpers and whines left his lips as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in closer to him. Your chest was firmly pressed against his, his laboured breathing tickling the nape of your neck with each staggering exhale.

“Mm, Kaneki,” You stilled your hips momentarily as you spoke. He could feel your hands leave his upper body and tug at the sides of his shirt instead. “Take this off.”

He nodded quickly and briefly released his grip on you, hastily removing the last article of clothing that separated the two of you and throwing it aside. As soon as he did, he felt your hands on his back, just underneath his shoulder blades. He mirrored the action, the both of you pulling each other close until your bodies were flush against one another’s, skin touching skin.

Amidst his own sounds, he heard the melodic sounds of pleasure you made as you continued to move against him, your hips shifting back and forth. Each sway of your hips caused more parts of his brain to light up like a circuit board, and despite his mind resembling the brightly lit city of Tokyo with its blinding lights—he was at the same time seeing stars.

“Does this feel good?” you asked. You leaned in closer, your lips ghosting over his but not quite touching yet.

“It feels...” he whined as he spoke, “You feel amazing—”

You smiled before pressing your lips to his. He shut his eyes as he leaned into the kiss, the heat emanating from your mouth made his own melt. He was no longer sure if he was devouring you or the other way around, but that was of little significance as you hungrily kissed him back.

Kaneki’s hands slid down your back, coming to a halt near the bottom of your thighs, his fingers grasping at the soft curve that connected your hips to your legs.

“Is this okay?” he broke apart from the kiss momentarily to ask. His fingers were digging into the soft, delicate flesh of your backside.

“Yes,” you gasped, “it’s okay.” Your lips collided once more.

The starvation with which your lips danced together was nothing but pure, unadulterated desire. A coveting so strong that neither of you could resist submitting to it—something so powerful that it dominated even the dark recesses of his mind.

It’s okay, you had said. It’s okay. The usual noise occupying his mind finally quieted down, your words causing the constant onslaught of fear to subside. Your flesh fit nicely in his palms as he lifted you up slightly, grinding his hips into yours, his apprehensions at last dissipating. His movements were frantic, his hips desperately jerking up and against yours as he moved you alongside the length of his cock.

Maybe just for a second, Kaneki could allow himself to believe that this really was okay. That even if he didn’t deserve what he had, it was alright for him to accept it, nonetheless.

And maybe just for a second, he could stop thinking about any of that. None of it mattered then, because all he had to do was permit himself to be immersed in the present moment. All he had to do was immerse himself in the softness of your lips fused with his, the warmth of your hands affectionately held onto his skin, the rapid thump of your pulse pressed so tightly to his bare chest that he could feel your heartbeat, and the coalescence of your bodies intertwined—each passionate roll of his hips against yours sending shockwaves through his body.

When the final tides of fire licked their way through his bloodstream and his world became an incandescent brilliance, he was helpless to do anything but cry out your name. Somewhere in the background, he could hear you doing the same, his name exquisitely rolling off your tongue.

As the white, hot radiance slowly began to fade into the softer iridescence of a nebula, he could feel the moisture of the sweat glistening upon both your bodies and hear the sound of your ragged, panting breaths as he returned to mortality.

Kaneki’s body was unbearably warm, but despite the way your body heat almost painfully engulfed his flesh, he found the feverish state you both basked in to be oddly cathartic. Your heart was still forcefully pounding in your chest, as was his, the sound of flowing blood loudly ringing in his ears. Your body was slumped against his, entirely limp and fully resting on him. Despite his exhaustion, he wrapped his arms around your torso, holding you closely.

He could feel your lulling caress as you stroked his hair once again, gently smoothing it over as the two of you shared a moment of serenity, the only sounds audible being your breathing.

When you finally pulled away from him, pushing yourself up, you began to giggle. Just as he was about to ask you what was so funny, you spoke.

“What are you crying for, now?” You brushed your damp hair out of your eyes. Kaneki, too, laughed, shaking his head as he responded.

“I’m just really happy,” he smiled, another tear escaping the corner of his eye and dripping down his cheek.

“Right,” you chuckled, laying down on his bed and stretching your body out. “Come here. I’m tired.”

Kaneki nodded, moving to lay down beside you. He pulled the blankets up to cover your body, before crawling underneath the covers to nestle himself by your side.

His hand ghosted over the side of your cheek as he moved the stray hairs out of your face. He watched your eyes close as he ran his fingers through your locks, stroking your hair in the same tender manner that you did for him. The gentle petting of your hair continued while he watched any remaining tension beneath your eyelids dissolve with your slumber, only stopping the repeated movement when he was sure that you were sleeping soundly.

Kaneki took in your peaceful expression one last time prior to closing his eyes, etching the sight of your features into his mind as a permanent engraving. Just before he allowed the fatigue to take over, his thoughts came to one resolute finality.

He would protect you.

As much as he wanted to keep living in blissful ignorance, he knew that it was only a matter of time before the CCG would raid his apartment in search of him. Even though he loved you dearly and wanted to keep you by his side, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to do so. And so, when the time eventually comes, it would be his turn to protect you—like you had protected him every single previous time—be it through taking other lives, or sacrificing his own.

Because even the primal fear of death pales in comparison to his fear of losing you.

He knew that it was entirely possible for this apartment to be raided in the dead of the night, with investigators coming to save you from the monster everyone besides you believed him to be. He was sure they would think of you as a victim; you hadn’t even been conscious when he brought you away.

As Kaneki fell asleep, he came to one final conclusion. Even though this rest may be his last, even though he may never wake up again, even though the darkest night may never end—he could accept that.

For as long as you exist, the sun will always rise again. 

[animeyanderelover]

@lucyrose9820 asked: The yanderes receive a massage from her lover since she has seen them stressed (Sanemi, Tomioka, Reiner, Erwin, Kaneki, Tomura, Pain, chae yul).

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive, behavior, obsession, clinginess, delusional behavior

Tags: @shumidehiro @swagenemyartisan @chxxz @flaming-vulpix @leveyani @iloveeyanderes @nightmaresprophet

Receiving a massage from their s/o

Pain

🌧️​Pain is a unique case because all the bodies he uses are corpses and his real body is always hidden away, even you get to see Nagato rarely. Physical affection is due to this fact in a sense almost pointless as you essentially only have the puppets he uses. Giving one of his bodies a massage wouldn't even resolve his stress yet he wouldn't deny you if you were to ask if you could do this for one of his bodies, most likely the one of Yahiko if we consider that this is the body he keeps around the most. There is going to be a potentially tense atmosphere though which is mainly derived from the lack of reaction from Pain's side as you massage the cold skin of one of his bodies. It is Yahiko's real body who would be in a more urgent need of a massage yet he'd be very adament on not letting you touch him. His body is in a terrible condition, wrecked beyond repair and you'd need a good portion of his trust for him to let you that close for that long to him, that is if you can even handle the sight of his destroyed and sick body. He'd be so tense the entire time though as you somehow have to work your way around the black rods embedded in his skin, purple eyes constantly looking at you slightly uncomfortable.

Erwin Smith

🎖️​Erwin is a man loaded with ambitions, responsibility and duties as the Commander of the Survey Corps and with that position comes a good portion of stress and problems at times. Normally he'd do his best to hide potential stress he is feeling from you but you eventually learn to read the subtle signs that something is plaguing his mind. Whether he actually accepts your offer or not is actually something that depends on what it is exactly that weighs on his mind as he is the type to keep such things to himself. He'd give in with a subtle sigh when he caves in and accepts your offer before he removes his shirt and lays down on your shared bed. He'd be quiet for the first half of it all until he starts slowly loosening up and starts talking with you. It'll mainly be about small and unimportant things as he remains secretive about what it is that is currently the source of his stress though if you manage to really kneed the stress out of his back muscles well, he may vaguely talk about the predicament he finds himself currently in. He'll also guide you a bit by telling you which areas are stiff and need the help of your fingers kneeding all the tension out of them.

Reiner Braun

🟤​Reiner's wellbeing, at least mentally, relies largely on you as the years pass and he receives trauma after trauma. This is no secret to you either as he panics and has meltdowns if he can't find you, extremely paranoid as well as terrified that you may end up leaving him too which would leave him utterly devastated and unable to deal with his life. His stress is very visible and he always reaches out to you first whenever it gets the better of him, which happens quite frequently. Any reassurance and affection is welcomed in such situations which is why he'd agree before you can even finish your question. He'll be a putty mess the entire time as your hands squeeze and massage his tense muscles, his breath hitching a couple of times when you find an especially tense knot and work your way through those spots until they loosen up. Instead of talking, he'd prefer to hear your voice throughout the massage as it is his favorite sound in the world. Talk about your day, your favorite memories or just whisper reassurances to him, you'll have him melting underneath you no matter what.

Tomura Shigaraki

✋Shigaraki is an individual who is prying for your affection and depending on which version we're talking about, he'll be either very bratty about it or more secretive and mature. He's always been a malicious and twisted person but he hasn't always considered that this would influence your own feelings for him which is why he would be more surprised to hear such an offer from you after he's freed himself from the shackles of his past due to him being more understanding of your possibly conflicted feelings for him at this stage. Pre-Re-Destro Tomura would be surprisingly iffy at first though, wondering if you have any hidden intentions whilst post-Re-Destro Tomura would be better to assess your request as honest and innocent, his own heart fluttering for a moment when he realises that you do seem to care for him. Shigaraki isn't used to being touched much and his bratty version is going to make that obvious by constantly squirming around when your fingers dig into his muscles and constantly stealing glances at you with a growing blush on his face whilst a more mature version of himself-whilst facing the same sensitivity- would be able to hide it better whilst remaining still.

Ken Kaneki

🔲​The biggest cause of Kaneki's stress is going to be his own insecurity in regards to you. Constantly fretting over your wellbeing and your safety whilst completely dismissing his own needs, you become the center of his world. He thinks of himself as despicable and a monster, thinks any hatred you feel for him is justified all whilst secretly craving for you to give him a slice of affection still. His heart nearly jumps out of his chest when he hears your question before he turns around with reddened cheeks, eyes blown wide open as he stutters and stammers. A-are you sure? Did he just hear that right? Easily manipulated to follow your every beckon and call as long as it doesn't require him to part ways with you, despite his low self-esteem he finds himself being guided to the futon where he lies down and removes his shirt. His heart is pounding and his face is burning the moment your fingers brush the skin on his back, his muscles tensing up due to how flustered and nervous he is feeling for a good while until he slowly starts relaxing. He gets embarrassed when he lets out a throaty grunt for the first time when your fingers dig into stiffened muscles until you reassure him that it's fine.

Tomioka Giyu

🌊​Giyu is a person who tends to get stressed out not only by his status as a Hashira and his survivor guilt but also because the people around him stress him out. Though he wouldn't admit it openly as he's aware os his obsessive feelings, your presence is needed in order for him to have some semblance of peace in his life. Your question catches him by surprise as he stops what he is doing for a second before he turns around to look at you with his deep blue eyes. Seconds trickle by and the situation gets somewhat awkward until you swear that you can see a faint pink blush on his face. You'll have to pester him for a while as you realise that he's feeling a tad bit shy with the aspect of having you touch him that much. Stubbornness eventually leads you to where you wanted to have him as he rests on his stomach on the futon, his torso bare for you to work on. He's almost too silent though so you feel the need to ask him sometimes how it feels and if there are any stiff spots he'd like you to work through and his answers are as short and laconic as ever. It's only when you catch a sight of his face that you realise that the pink blush has spread on his face as he feels your hands touching him.

Shinazugawa Sanemi

🌪️​As someone who has a rather short temper and thinks of himself at times surrounded by idiots, Sanemi finds himself on more than one occasion in a bad mood. Luckily you manage to cool his scorching temper efficiently by now as you have been more or less forced to adapt after all. It is your experience in how to handle him when he comes storming back to the house with a scowl on his face that leads you to ask him if he'd like you to give him a massage. He does stop for a moment to process your words before he agrees and drags you to the bedroom. He quickly undresses before flopping down on the futon, his scarred and muscular back facing you, flexing his muscles on purpose. If he notices that your gaze lingers on his scars and muscles, he's going to give you a cocky grin before reminding you to not forget to use your hands in between admiring his body so much. He'll remain surprisingly silent as soon as you start working on his back though, only the occasional grunt leaving his lips when you find a especially tense spot. He enjoys it a lot, in fact so much that he kind of demands you to do this more often from him whenever he has to deal with another bunch of idiots again.

Chae Yul

💜​Chae Yul is openly trying to coax any affectionate response out of you whilst busily smothering you in his own. He's touch-starved and deprived of any love and affection and acts like it to the point where he disturbs other people with his burning jealousy and possessive clinginess. Any affection you give him is something he will pounce on like a starved dog. His face immediately bursts into a red blush when you ask him if he'd be fine with you giving him a massage as he has been stressed out lately due to some of your friends trying to convince you that he is a bad influence for you. He agrees with a giddy grin on his face, his shirt tossed carelessly to the ground as he turns around to give you access. The blush only deepens as soon as your fingers dig into his flesh, his hands tightening their hold on the material beneath him as he starts to whimper whenever you find an especially good spot and press into his tense muscles. It honestly sounds like you're doing more than just giving him a massage, the red blush on his face not helping the image but he is much more shameless as he has fully embraced how depraved your love has made him.

[do-you-ship-it-polls]

Do you ship it?

reasons: Yandere toxic yaoi - Blast from the past (also their age difference is 3 years and they went to the same college)

At first Tsukiyama tried to eat Kaneki but he soon became really dedicated to him and eventually developed something like a crush on him, and when Kaneki disappeared Tsukiyama went into a deep depression that left him bedridden for years and only got better when he learned Kaneki was still alive. Gay af

[fairy-writes]

fairy's fics for gaza

hello everyone! i'm not sure anyone would even be interested or care about this but i'm OPENING REQUESTS for @ficsforgaza !! by tossing my hat into the ring, i hope to help raise money and interest for this cause!

keep in mind i'll maybe close my requests if i get overwhelmed or can't fulfill a request. i am setting the donation limit for $5 for 500 words. ofc this is subject to change (e.g. you want a shorter or longer request)

how this works!

you (the reader): send me A DIRECT MESSAGE (not an ask pls, those are reserved for regular requests) asking for a request. i will start working on your request once you've provided proof to me (with any personal info removed) of your donation to a VETTED FUNDRAISER. DO NOT SEND ME THE MONEY

me (the writer): once i have vetted the fundraiser (there is a list to choose from HERE), i will begin work on your request. keep in mind i have other projects to get done (e.g. original stories, other requests still in my inbox, etc.) so it won't be published right away.

LIST OF FANDOMS/PEOPLE I'LL WRITE FOR (these are all x reader):

Arcane: League of Legends: Viktor, Silco, Jayce Talis, Vi, Vander, Caitlyn Kiramman, Mel Medarda

Bungou Stray Dogs: Nakajima Atsushi, Nakahara Chuuya, Dazai Osamu, Kunikida Doppo, Fukuzawa Yukichi, Saigiku Jouno, Suehiro Tecchou

The Case Study of Vanitas: Vanitas, Noé Archiviste, Roland Fortis, Dominique de Sade

Demon Slayer: All the Hashira, Akaza, Kokushibo, Douma, Kibutsuji Muzan, Kamado Tanjiro (aged up), Agatsuma Zenitsu (aged up), Hashibira Inosuke (aged up)

Doctor Who: The Doctor (9th, 10th, 11th, 12th), Jack Harkness, River Song

Fullmetal Alchemist: Roy Mustang, Greed, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Envy, Alex Louis Armstrong, Olivier Armstrong, Edward Elric (post-FMAB), Alphonse Elric (post-FMAB), Ling Yao (post-FMAB)

Grimm (NBC): Nick Burkhardt, Hank Griffin, Sean Renard, Drew Wu, Monroe

Jujutsu Kaisen: Gojo Satoru, Fushiguro Toji, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Itadori Yuuji (aged up), Fushiguro Megumi (aged up)

Moriarty the Patriot: William James Moriarty, Albert James Moriarty, Louis James Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, Fred Porlock, Sebastian Moran, James Bonde

Tokyo Ghoul: Uta, Kaneki Ken, Kirishima Touka, Kirishima Ayato (re: age), Nishio Nishiki, Tsukiyama Shuu

GENERAL RULES

i write specifically SFW. no NSFW or dark content here folks. though there are plenty of participating authors who write either dark content or NSFW!

all writing is gender neutral but can be customized to a female!reader

absolutely no exclusionists welcome. that includes anyone who is or condones racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, aphobia, ableism, islamophobia, antisemitism, or anything similar.

things that WON'T be written: nsfw/smut/spice (implied or otherwise), abusive relationships, yandere, self-harm, suicide, eating disorders, mental disorders, incest, character x character, character x oc

if you have any further questions please let me know!! i've never done something like this and it's very probable i've left something unclear lol.

feel free to check out the BLOG for more information! they also have a FAQ here!

[halaxia]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。 request rules !

please refer to these before requesting anything as if the request doesn’t abide by these rules then i won’t be writing it, thank you!!!

please specify the gender pronouns you would like for me to use and if you would like nsfw to be afab reader or not—otherwise, i will write requests for a gender-neutral reader :)

not what you were looking for?

— what i won’t write :

- rape, noncon, etc.

- smut (i’m bad at it)

- incest

- male!reader

- any kinks including intense physical/mental harm

- eating disorders

- pregnancy/miscarriage

- yandere

— what i will write :

- pretty much anything else lol

- suggestive content

- fem!reader, gn!reader, afab!reader

- suicidal themes (not overly graphic)

- fluff, angst, dark content (as long as it abides by the rules above)

- alternate universes

thank you for reading :)

— who i write for :

this list is changing often—if you don’t see a character here you would like to request, shoot me and ask and i’ll let you know if i’ll write them or not :) (bolded characters are who i enjoy writing the most)

attack on titan

╰┈➤ eren yeager, levi ackerman, jean kirschtein, connie springer, armin arlert, bertholdt hoover, reiner braun, porco galliard.

bleach

╰┈➤ kurosaki ichigo, abarai renji, kuchki byakuya, hisagi shuhei, urahara keisuke, uryu ishida, shihoin yoruichi, aizen sosuke, ayasegawa yumichika, ichimaru gin, ukitake jushiro, hirako shinji, kira izuru, ulquiorra cifer, grimmjow jaegerjaquez.

bungo stray dogs

╰┈➤ dazai osamu, akutagawa ryunosuke, fukuzawa yukichi, nakajima atsushi, edogawa ranpo, nakahara chuuya.

chainsaw man

╰┈➤ hayakawa aki, denji, power, hirofumi yoshida.

demon slayer

╰┈➤ kamado tanjiro, uzui tengen, rengoku kyojuro, tomioka giyuu, iguru obanai.

final fantasy vii

╰┈➤ cloud strife, sephiroth

jojo’s bizarre adventure

╰┈➤ joseph joestar, caesar zepelli, kujo jotaro, kakyoin noriyaki, higashikata josuke, kishibe rohan, jolyne kujo.

jujutsu kaisen

╰┈➤ geto suguru, gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, itadori yuji, inumaki toge, okkotsu yuta, nanami kento, mahito, kamo choso, higuruma hiromi, shiu kong.

my hero academia

╰┈➤ dabi, shigaraki tomura, hawks, shoto aizawa, todoroki shoto.

obey me!

╰┈➤ lucifer, mammon, asmodeus, leviathan, beelzebub, belphegor, satan, barbatos, simeon, soloman.

one piece live action

╰┈➤ roronoa zoro, sanji, shanks, luffy

spy x family

╰┈➤ loid forger.

the disastrous life of saiki k

╰┈➤ saiki kusuo, kaido shun, kuboyasu aren.

tokyo ghoul

╰┈➤ kaneki ken, nagachika hideyoshi, nishio nishiki.

vinland saga

╰┈➤ thorfinn, canute.

[h8ani]

Updated Rules List

With my new updated list I’m going to be listing all the requests I’ll be accepting, what fandoms I write for and how you should go about requesting them :)

But also if you are an ageless/blank blog or a minor please do not request me, follow me or interact with me as you will be blocked. thank you.

I also write both nsfw & sfw content, I also label it on my writings I post. I don’t shy away from anything really so if you’re unsure just send me a message and I’ll clarify if I do!

Things I’ll write for: yandere, noncon/dubcon, fluff, angst, smut, age gap, stepcest, professor/student, sensei/student, spanking, choking, slapping, torture, abuse, female x male, drug use, use of sex toys, issues with eating, etc type shit

Things I won’t write for: anal, piss/shit play, boy x boy, girl x girl (I’m not super comfortable in my writing yet to write for same sex couples yet I hope you guys understand!)

Fandoms I write for:

Attack on Titan - Levi Ackerman, Eren Yeager, Zeke Yeager, Armin Arlert, Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Hoover, Erwin Smith, Jean Kirstein, Connie Springer, Porco Galliard

Hunter x Hunter - Chrollo, Feitan, Shalnark, Kurapika, Leorio, Hisoka, Ging, Illumi, Wing, Kite, Pokkle

Naruto - Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha, Obito Uchiha, Shisui Uchiha, Kakashi Hatake, Minato Namikaze, Shikamaru Nara, Gaara, Neji Hyuga, Kiba Inuzuka, Deidara, Sasori, Pain/Yahiko, Iruka Umino, Shino Aburame, Hidan, Kankuro, Sai, Genma Shiranui, Izumo Kamizuki, Kotetsu Hagane, Hayate Gekko

Tokyo Revengers - Takemichi Hanagaki, Manjiro Sano, Chifuyu Matsuno, Shuji Hanma, Takashi Mitsuya, Kazutora Hanemiya, Tetta Kisaki, Atsushi Sendo, Nahoya Kawata, Souya Kawata, Ken Ryuguji, Shinichiro Sano, Ran Haitani, Rindou Haitani, Naoto Tachibana, Izana Kurokawa, Inui Seishu

Tokyo Ghoul - Ken Kaneki, Hideyoshi Nagachika, Uta, Ayato Kirishima, Nishio Nishiki, Koutarou Amon

Ouran Highschool Host Club - Kyoya Ootori, Tamaki Suoh, Takashi Morinozuka, Hitachiin Hikaru, Hitachiin Kaoru,

Wind Breaker - Haruka Sakura, Akihiko Nirei, Kyotaro Sugashita, Hayato Suo, Mitsuki Kiryuu, Ren Kaji, Hajime Umemiya, Toma Hiragi, Choji Tomiyama, Jo Togame, Kota Sako

Haikyuu - Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Kei Tsukishima, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Daichi Sawamura, Koshi Sugawara, Asahi Azumane, Yu Nishinoya, Ryunosuke Tanaka, Keishin Ukai, Tooru Oikawa, Hajime Iwaizumi, Tetsuroo Kuroo, Kenma Kozume, Kentaro Kyotani, Kotaro Bokuto, Keiji Akaashi, Eita Semi, Wakatoshi Ushijima, Yuji Terushima, Naoyasu Kuguri, Shinsuke Kita, Atsumu Miya, Rintaro Suna, Osamu Miya

Fruits Basket - Shigure Sohma, Kyo Sohma, Kureno Sohma, Yuki Sohma, Hatori Sohma, Hatsuharu Sohma, Momiji Sohma

Demon Slayer - Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, Inosuke Hashibira, Genya Shinazugawa, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Gyomei Himejima, Muichiro Tokito, Kyojuro Rengoku, Giyu Tomioka, Tengen Uzui, Obanai Iguro, Muzan Kibutsuji, Doma, Akaza

Prompt Requests/Writing Requests in general:

I will usually have a link of the prompts to request from, from the original post.

If you’d like to request something I wrote just state what content you’d like and who the character is/member he is

I default by writing in fem! reader pov so please state if you’d like gn! reader

Reaction Requests:

State the type of reaction you’d like (example: reaction of them kissing you mid argument)

For any anime reactions just state the anime, boys you’d like the reaction for

[readreactrant]

Hello.... If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them...Thanks if you want to answer....

Thanks for the ask and damn I'm always so excited when it comes to these so ofc I don't mind, also warning I'm about to kinda go off. It's a pretty long list so I'll only talk about the ones that left the biggest impression on me.

Warning for mentions of twincest, incest and age gaps.

Starting off with the ship that indoctrinated me into the bl life style *drumroll*

Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (aka Drarry); enemies/rivals to lovers, blond x ravenette, they basically set the precedent for every ship I pick up like a stray cat these days.

Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku (Bakudeku): Enemies to lovers, plus constantly on each other's mind as a motivation in one way or the other. I love them so much.

Mikage Reo/Nagi Seishiro (NagiReo): one of my current hyperfixations, mainly cuz they're one of the few ships I have that wasn't introduced as rivals from the start as well as being extremely close canonically. They click so well despite their miscommunication (more like no communication but I'll probably get to that another day).

Gojo Saturou/Itadori Yuuji (GoYuu): Most of my blog will you a clue already lol.

Sukuna/Itadori Yuuji (SukuIta): Number one toxic ship rn, but would you believe I prefer their siblings falling in forbidden love trope?

Mikaela Hyakuya/Yuuichiro Hyakuya (MikaYuu): Found family lovers that will give anything for each other? Sign me up.

Tyki Milk/Allen Walker: I walked into the D.gray man fandom late and I will never not regret it, I need more people that at least know who they are (〒﹏〒)

Eren Jeager/Armin Arlet & Eren Jaeger/Levi Ackerman (Eremin & Ereri): Getting these two out of the way at the same time cuz while I think Eren is undeniably his best self a lot with Armin, I love the thought of Levi being there as his inspiration.

Itoshi Rin/Itoshi Sae: Their beef is adorable but they need to fuck.

Roy Mustang/Edward Elric: I love their banter and they've both been through way too much together.

Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent (Superbat): one is batman the other is superman...Need I say more?

Dick Grayson/Tim Drake: I watched Titans and they had me.

Luka/Adrian (Lukachat): I stopped watch Miraculous at like S3 but these two are the only salvageable treasure from that mess to me.

Sherlock Holmes/William James Moriarty (Sherliam): From Moriarty the Patriot not any other adaptations please. There was that one movie tho. I love how they're constantly teasing and trying to outsmart each other like yeah babes, burn that city down to get his attention.

Kageyama Tobio/Hinata Shoyo (Kagehina): I haven't finished Haikyuu S2, spare me.

Kagami Taiga/Kuroko Tetsuya: what's with sports anime and K names, that aside, I don't know but their separation leaves me in tears everytime.

Yukio Okumura/Rin Okumura: Rin cares so much, Yukio stop being a yandere you closeted brocon! I know you!!!

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji: I have a thing for broody possessive tops and oblivious bottoms and they were my awakening.

Hideyoshi Nagachika/Ken Kaneki (Hidekane): Receiving Tokyo ghoul spoilers of how things ended kept from finishing the show or starting the manga, what even is the point .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

Draken/Mikey/Takemichi & Draken/Mikey: DraMiTake is something I'd consume if I find it cuz I read this one precious fic I will forever cherise but DraMikey has way too much angst potential on its own. Tugs my heart to know Draken keeps Mikey grounded.

Baji Keisuke/Chifuyu Matsuno: Kazutora I will never fucking forgive you.

Hanma shuji/Kisaki Tetta: psychotic boyfriends, we love to see it (✿ ♡‿♡)

Reinhard Van Astrea/Natsuki Subaru: They are literally my banner plus he's one of the few people that doesn't give Subaru a hard time (I only watched S1)

Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive: Butler x master, what else do I need to add. I do absolutely adore the thought of Sebastian being cheeky when putting his young master in his place. I also love soft Sebastian, go figure.

Carnegie/Jonathan Sterling: No one remembers Darkside so I won't even dive into it. These two are the reason I'm trying to finish the series right now, book girlies, read Darkside by Tom Becker and come find me please ಥ‿ಥ

Dante/Vergil: It just makes sense ngl.

If you made it this far...why did you lollll, but honestly thanks for reading, talking about ships is one of my things and be free to ask again if you want me to expand upon or analyze any of these, that or if you just want recs. I'm down for anything.

[xxkylarthelonerxx]

drop the kinlist breastie

(breastie??)

i think you're just going to make fun of me if i make a list. but i'll do it... only since two anons asked. this list isn't in order and i kin some way more than others. and i'm probably forgetting a lot of characters right now. but here's some...

L (death note)

kirito (sao)

staz (blood lad)

shinpei gotou (firefly wedding)

ruki (diabolik lovers)

ken kaneki (tokyo ghoul)

sasuke (naruto)

any other yanderes too... chae yul, yuno gasai, whatever.. but only the ones that actually care about their darlings. because there are a lot of fakes out there.

let me know if there are any you think i'm forgetting.