#while the man was horrible he was still a part of the childhood or teenage of a lot of us

[shire-ivy]

I thought we'd never get a 1d reunion because nobody wanted to work with Liam. And turns out we'll never get a 1d reunion because he's dead ? I wasn't prepared for this.

[drunk-person]

Lys the lovely (Modern Au) P.5

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x cousin!reader

Summary: One of the most talked about gossips among the lower class servants in Kings Landing is the fact (or not) that Aemond Targaryen got involved with his cousin Y/n Targaryen when they were both teenagers. Mainly due to the fact that at the age of 17 she was sent to Old Town overnight. Some employees claim that Aemond was caught between her legs. Some say that, like her father, she had had a horrible fight with her uncle and aunt and was sent away. And other than that none of this happened, she just became interested in the course offered at the Old Town conservatory. But now five years later, Y/n Targaryen is back, and rumors haunt those who favor them.

This chapter is a part of a main story The gossip, you can find the previous chapter, summary and general tags by accessing the link.

Summary of the chapter: Aemond and Y/n decide to escape for a moment alone in the most isolated place they know, but the world outside keeps turning.

Warnings of the chapter: 18+ mdni! Fluff, summer things, light alcohol consumption, couples trip, slight codependency, no description for reader.

Word count: 12.500 k

A/N: I hope you like the new chapter, I'm very happy and grateful for all the dear people who commented on the previous chapter, thank you very much, your comments inspire me! Comments and suggestions are welcome 💕

A/N²: I listened to several songs while writing this chapter, Summer Time Sadness by Lana was one of them, but one that really hit me and I listened to a lot was Little Talks of Monsters and Men, maybe you think it fits. I hope you enjoy the new chapter. 💕💕

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"Hey hey kings landing, Floris Baratheon showed up alone at the opening of Lyana Blackwood's restaurant. Apparently when they asked her about Aemond Targaryen she didn't seem very happy, and some even said she rolled her eyes at times when talking about him. Could it be that our once unshakable couple is going through problems?"

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The company was almost completely deserted when Aemond and Y/n went down to the parking lot, which was a good thing since the appearance of both of them was not what could be called presentable. Y/n's hair, previously perfectly tied in a bun with braids, was completely loose and with the braids coming out of the sides, her clothes were completely wrinkled and her legs were still trembling.

Aemond wasn't in much better condition, with his hair messy and his clothes disheveled, but the smile was constant on his lips. The older man rested his jacket on Y/n's shoulders, since the blouse was sticking to her sweaty skin and marking her beautiful breasts that belonged only to his eyes. She just smiled at him brightly as they rode in the elevator.

-I can't wait for us to be alone in Lys. - Y/n's excitement was visible as she got into the car, already taking off her heels and putting them in the bag, and also Aemond's jacket, hanging it on the seat.

-Do you know that since I left I haven't been to the beach anymore? I've missed the sea a lot. - The smile was constant as she spoke, it was almost that same innocent smile from childhood when they both discovered something new that excited them both.

Aemond felt almost physical pain hearing her say that with such joy. Every time he stopped, even for a second, to think about everything she had lost in the last few years, he felt bile rising in his throat with the guilt of not having done anything to stop it.

He knew there was more to it than Y/n was telling him, that she wasn't as okay with all of this as she seemed, but the idea of ​​pressuring her to talk without knowing if she was ready didn't seem right to him, and in the end, he didn't even know if he was ready to talk about everything that happened that night and in the five years that followed. He just wanted to see her happy, and be happy by her side.

-I heard there's a luau on the beach that's beautiful. - Y/n sighed, crossing one leg over the other and leaning towards Aemond. - We can watch the stars together.

-It's going to be wonderful. - He smiled sideways and gently squeezed her thigh. The oldest was driving while Y/n chattered excitedly about everything they were going to do at the weekend and looked out the window observing the city at night. Little by little, her brow furrowed as she observed the path that was visibly different from the one they had taken earlier.

-Where are we going, Aem? - Her voice was curious as she looked at him expectantly.

-Well, if we're going to take the weekend off to spend time together… let's make the most of it. - He shrugged, looking at her while stopping at the traffic light. - I'm going straight to the airfield.

-You swear? - She smiled excitedly and Aemond nodded.

-We'll take the jet from there and be in Lys in 2 hours at the most.

Aemond was giving that simple side smile as he said this, and Y/n jumped on him distributing kisses on his neck and cheeks, she only stopped when they both heard a horn and noticed the green light of the traffic light invading the car. He just rolled his eyes and huffed while Y/n laughed returning to her seat. The remaining path was not very long with the Aerodrome being located south of the city near Rhaenys hill, Aemond just stopped at a pizzeria on the way at Y/n's request and picked up a pizza to take away.

-Mr. Targaryen. - The pilot greeted Aemond respectfully as they entered. - Going to a business meeting?

The man's gaze changed instantly and he had to force himself not to choke when he saw Y/n next to Aemond.

-Not today, Captain White. - Aemond approached the man with a serious gaze. - I'm going to Lys with my cousin, and I would like your utmost discretion regarding this.

Faced with Aemond's completely serious tone, the man just nodded, avoiding looking at the two any longer.

-And when do you plan to return? - He still looked away as he questioned his boss.

-You can pick us up on Sunday night.

-Yes, sir. - The older man said, already going to prepare things for takeoff and leaving them alone.

-I know I already said that I love your business voice, but I'll say it again. - Y/n smiled, hanging onto Aemond's neck now that they were alone. - I love your business voice.

Aemond just gave a sideways smile and pulled her closer by the waist, leaving a peck on her soft lips, and then pulled her by the waist in the direction of the hangar.

A few minutes later, they were both already settled inside the private jet Targaryen just waiting for takeoff without suitcases, without giving any satisfaction. Just the two of them, without anyone else knowing.

After the jet took off and was stabilized, the two took off their seat belts and sat in front of the television with Y/n pulling the pizza box while Aemond took the TV control.

-No movies with historical drama. You know I hate sad endings. - Y/n protested, snuggling closer to Aemond. - Remember when they showed a movie about the story of Elia Martell in ancient history class? I cried like a baby!

-You were sad for days. - The oldest threw his head back laughing at the memory.

-That's not funny! - Y/n rolled her eyes. - Our stupid ancestor destroyed that poor girl's life.

-So, no Rhaegar as possible names for our future child? - He frowned, teasing her.

-No. Never. - Y/n replied smiling, until she opened the pizza box.

-Aemond I can't believe you ordered ham with pineapple pizza. - She pushed his shoulder, making him smile.

-It's delicious. - He shrugged as he reached into the box, taking a bite out of it.

-It's disgusting. - Y/n grimaced as she watched him eat a slice of pizza with the greatest amount of grace she had ever seen in a human being.

-Haven't you lost your childish taste yet? - He cocked his eyebrow ironically.

-First, I don't have a childish taste, this is just a matter of civility. - She pulled the pizza box back towards her. - And second, if that freak you dare call pizza has passed flavor to my cheese half, I will definitely kill you.

Aemond just smiled, rolled his eyes and pulled her by the shoulder closer to him while he selected any movie from the available menu.

The rest of the trip was short, since Kings Landing wasn't that far from the free cities, and the two took advantage of the time to just lie down together in one of the plane's seats while they talked and laughed. Aemond stroking Y/n's hair, and she clung to his chest as if he were going to disappear.

-Did you know that I always dreamed about that?- Aemond whispered against her ear and Y/n felt her chest heat up. - Since the day I started working in that room I dreamed of you sucking my dick like that.

-Really? - She rested her hands on his chest and raised her torso to look him in the eyes, and Aemond just murmured in agreement, nodding his head positively. - I left you a good memory then. - Y/n smiled smugly as she caressed his chest.

-You were horrible at this before. - He chuckled, rolling his eyes.

-You said I was great. - She hit his chest, now offended.

-Because I had never been sucked before in my life. But being able to compare your current self with your 15-year-old self, I can say that you were horrible.

-I should have bitten you. - She growled, hitting his chest. - I'll never suck your cock again in my life.

-We both know that's a lie. - He smiled ironically, grabbing her arm and pulling her in for a kiss.

-Am I good now? - She asked, resting on his shoulders and looking at him.

-So fucking good. - He murmured against her lips, still smiling mischievously, making her blush slightly and kiss him once more.

Y/n laughed and distributed kisses on his neck, chin, jaw and jaw, with Aemond pulling her closer and kissing her on the lips.

-We look like two rabbits in heat. - Aemond spoke between kisses and Y/n laughed, tucking her head into the crook of his neck.

-That's because we miss each other so much. - She kissed his jaw.

-We've been like this since we found out we could have sex. - He raised his eyebrow at Y/n and she just laughed, burying her head even deeper into his neck, making Aemond pull her by the jaw for another kiss.

-Did you touch yourself thinking about me? - He asked maliciously against her lips and Y/n nodded anxiously.

-Almost every night. But it was never enough, I missed your fingers, your cock so much. - She pointed out, leaving kisses on Aemond's marked jaw and sighing against his skin.

-Touch yourself for me. - He asked against her strands of hair, practically rubbing his own body against Y/n's. - Just like you did in the past, let me see you touch that cunt, and then I'll give you all the pleasure you want.

And Y/n did, just like when they were first figuring out how to pleasure each other as teenagers, she lay back against the couch and spread her legs before him, languidly touching herself as she cried out Aemond's name. And when she finally came against his fingers, whimpering for him, Aemond kissed her and made good on what he had said.

After spilling himself inside her for the third time that day, Aemond lay panting over Y/n's tired body, trailing soft kisses all over her collarbone. He had forgotten how good sex could be, not just any sex, sex with Y/n. It had been so hard to stop, and now he was addicted again, it was like he was 17 again and all he could think about was fucking her, being inside her, kissing her whole body.

In the years that had passed, he had never felt desire for any other woman, at most he had used his own hand to pleasure himself while looking at that damn polaroid of Y/n naked and smiling lazily between the sheets. But he felt no relief because what he really wanted was her, the warmth of her arms, the sweetness of her words whispered in his ear, the wonderful taste of her lips that drove him crazy. And now he had all of that back and he couldn't stop.

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In Kings Landing Mayane Dancil had barely closed the door after arriving home from a long day of work and her niece had already jumped on her telling her about what had happened in the store earlier while she told her about what she had seen in Aemond's apartment.

-Didn't you tell his mother? - Milla asked in shock.

-But of course not! - Her aunt answered promptly, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. - We don't meddle in the bosses' affairs Milla, you should know that by now.

-It's one thing to gossip among ourselves about what they do, it's another to let them know what we do. - The older woman was very serious as she said those words. - What do you think Aemond Targaryen would do to me if he found out that I was telling his mother what was going on inside his house?

-Most likely I would put you out on the street. - The girl answered somewhat embarrassed while looking at a potted plant as if it were very interesting.

-Worse than that, it would guarantee that I would never get a job again. - She sighed and looked at her niece. - Do you know why I work for both brothers?

The youngest just shook her head at the question.

-Mrs. Hightower helped me get the job because she wanted me to tell her everything her children do. - The woman spoke in a whisper, as if Alicent could hear her. - But I never told her anything significant because I'm not stupid enough to think that woman would protect me from the wrath of her children if they found out something like that.

-Never forget our position, Milla. - Her aunt's voice was serious, but softer as she tucked a strand of hair behind her niece's ear. - We can have fun gossiping about their lives, but we can't interfere in the games they play.

-You saw what happened to Joy today, she almost got fired for talking too much in front of Floris Baratheon. - The oldest caressed her niece's hair. - Don't make the same mistake she did.

Almost immediately after she finished speaking, the cell phone rang on the screen, the name flashing brightly.

Mrs. Hightower

Mayane shivered and signaled for her niece to be quiet as she answered the phone using the most polite voice she had.

-Good evening Mrs Hightower, is there any problem? - Mayane held her breath after speaking.

-Whether there was anything strange in your son’s apartment today? - She raised her eyebrows at her niece as she spoke to the woman on the phone. - Everything exactly as always, ma'am, Mr. Aemond is a very organized young man.

-Yes, I'm sure. - She shook her head without even realizing it while she was lying. - Good night ma'am.

When the call ended, the woman finally started breathing normally again.

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Alicent knew that the maid was lying, she knew that it was impossible that she had not seen anything, but she could not force her to tell the truth.

-What are we going to do, father? - Her eyes were closed as she faced Oto.

-Are you sure about what you are talking about, Alicent? - The older man walked around the room with a thoughtful look.

-If this is true, we will need to intervene as soon as possible. For his sake and mine, the elections are coming up and it will not be well received by the party if it comes to light that my grandson has been involved with a cousin. The opposition will descend on this like the vultures they are.

-I don't know what else to do to keep him away from her. - Alicent's eyes were bloodshot as she picked at her cuticles. - He doesn't listen to me, and Viserys won't do anything about it.

-We will appeal to Aemond's ambitious side. - Oto poured two fingers of whiskey into a glass as he paced the room with calculated movements. - Remember what I told you at the last party meeting? It's still in his favor. If Aemond wants to take advantage of this opportunity, he'll have to distance himself from her.

-And if that doesn't work? - Alicent squeaked, looking at her father in exasperation.

-Then we'll go down the path of his loyalty to the family. - Oto smiled reassuringly at Alicent. - She may even have some power over him, but Aemond would never do anything that would harm my campaign or the name of the entire family.

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Y/n and Aemond fixed their disheveled appearance before exiting the jet, both with satisfied smiles on their faces as they walked down the stairs on the Lys runway. She decided to leave her hair loose, which now fell wildly down her back, much to Aemond's delight, who loved to see it loose.

As soon as they entered Lys Airport, they were guided to a counter where they were supposed to leave any electronics that could record images. Aemond had already left his cell phone and other belongings in the trunk of the car, and Y/n's cell phone had been forgotten in the hotel room for two days. After that, they went through the X-ray and were allowed to enter the country without any major problems.

-What hotel are we staying in? - Y/n asked after getting into the black car that was waiting for them at the exit of the airport at Aemond's request.

-Aegon said he came here once and stayed at the Lotus Flower, but I don't know if it's reliable considering the source. - Aemond said laughing and sitting very close to Y/n in the back seat while the driver remained silent until he was told to drive to the main streets, where the two got off at a busy square with a beautiful water fountain in the center and started walking.

The night in Lys was beautiful, Friday night and everyone was in the streets partying even though it was quite late. There were bars and restaurants packed with people having fun, and Y/n and Aemond just walked with their arms around each other smiling on the sidewalk and watching everything. People didn't have cell phones, cameras, or Internet in that part of the island, they were just themselves. They were just dancing, shouting, being silly, not caring that the next day all of this would be ruining their lives online.

Minutes later the two spotted a bar that was playing fun music and they both decided to go in to have a drink together before finding a hotel. The two drank about three drinks and the conversation that was already flowing naturally between them became increasingly excited as they talked a little more loudly and exchanged kisses, feeling loosened by the alcohol.

Aemond felt free. There was no one watching him, no one waiting for a slip to judge him, he was so mixed in among the people that no one gave a damn about who he could be. In Westeros, anyone who laid eyes on him would know he was a Targaryen by his hair, but in Lys… he was just another silver-haired guy, just like the bartender and half of the male population of the island. And taken by this thought and the extra confidence of the alcohol, he pulled Y/n by the hand to the dance floor.

Y/n didn't even blink, just threw her head back laughing as she went with him towards the dance floor.

-I hate this song. - She whispered in his ear while biting his ear.

-Yeah, but you're going to dance with me anyway. - Aemond pulled her firmly by the hip.

-Why? - She questioned him with her eyes shining.

-Because I'm asking. - He murmured against her lips.

-Egocentric. - Y/n sighed, kissing him on the lips once more.

The two then pressed their bodies together, smiling as they danced to the lively melody, slightly drunk on alcohol and joy, spinning and jumping around the dance floor amidst other couples without anyone stopping to look at them as if they were a tourist attraction.

The hours passed without them noticing, and both of their feet ached from exhaustion.

-Want to go find a hotel? - Aemond spoke in a slightly louder voice to stand out over the loud music after a few dances and a few more drinks later.

Y/n just nodded, laying her head on his shoulder, completely exhausted after the long day. The older man guided her by the waist to the exit to get to the car once again.

-Take us to a good hotel. - Aemond asked the driver while Y/n lay against his shoulder and closed her eyes, her hair falling in front of her face with the action.

It didn't take them even five minutes to arrive at a beautiful hotel facing the sea with a beautiful flower garden around it. And Aemond smiled softly when he noticed that Y/n had fallen asleep on the short car ride, and without thinking much he just picked her up in his arms and carried her into the hotel with ease while the youngest just snuggled in his arms.

-Only the honeymoon suite is vacant, sir. - The receptionist said after checking the system.

-Excellent. We will keep it. - He smiled slightly drunk, taking the key card between his fingers without letting go of Y/n who was still sleeping snuggled in his arms and heading towards the elevator.

When he got to the room he gently placed her on the bed with soft sheets and took off her sandals and clothes, smiling sideways as he admired her naked body. Aemond opened the door of one of the closets and took out a light pink silk nightgown and carefully put it on her, then laid her on the bed once more, leaving a loving kiss on Y/n's forehead.

Then he, equally tired, took off his own clothes, getting naked and lying down next to her, pulling her towards him and hugging her from behind, snuggling, putting his head in the gap of her neck and falling into a deep sleep soon after, completely relaxed as he was holding onto Y/n.

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Without a single worry in mind, the two slept almost halfway through the day, tightly holding onto each other while forgetting that there was a world outside.

Aemond, as almost always happened, woke up before Y/n and with a side smile he distributed kisses on her exposed neck, who just groaned and buried her face in the pillows.

-We need to get up if we don't want to waste the day. - He whispered in her ear, pulling her towards him while Y/n buried her face in his bare chest.

-Your feet are cold, Aem. - She grumbled as she snuggled even closer to him.

-Mnmm. - He just murmured and nodded, stroking her unruly hair.

-Give me ten more minutes and I swear I'll be ready to get up. - She begged against his neck with her voice hoarse from sleep, and Aemond, after a smile, got up, leaving a kiss on her back and heading towards the large bathroom.

Without Y/n with him, the shower was slightly quick, and when he came out with the towel wrapped around his waist, he noticed that neither he nor Y/n had any clothes for the day, since they hadn't even bothered about it when they left the day before. And with a sigh, he put on the hotel's fluffy robe and called the reception to request clothes from the hotel store in his and Y/n's sizes.

Almost immediately after Aemond hung up the intercom, Y/n stood up lazily and left a kiss on his jaw as she headed towards the bathroom to take a shower and start the day.

Aemond was sitting in an armchair, smiling as he heard Y/n hum softly during her shower, and he almost didn't notice the soft knocks on the bedroom door indicating the arrival of the clothes he had ordered.

After the second knock, he got up to open the door and receive the two orange bags with the hotel's crest engraved on them. And as soon as he closed the door and looked at the contents of the bags, he knew he was in trouble.

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-I won't use this even if I die. - Y/n said, wrapped in a towel, holding it tightly against her chest as she shook her head in disbelief at the sight of the clothes.

-Why not? - Aemond asked, holding the white shirt in one hand and the orange pants in the other. He knew the answer, but they were still the only clothes he had gotten.

-Because it's ridiculous! I'd rather go out naked than wear this, Aemond! - She frowned slightly, laughing at the clothes that were on the bed.

-It's not an option, dear. - He said, furrowing his eyebrows with a roguish smile and pulling her towards him by the waist.

-You can't make me wear those clothes. - She rolled her eyes, putting one hand on his shoulder while holding the towel against her chest with the other.

-No one will see you wearing this. - He chuckled against her hair. - I assure you, I'm not much happier with this than you are, Your Highness, but we don't have much of a choice.

-Aem… - She looked him in the eyes, pouting, and Aemond just bit her lip and pulled it.

-Let's go to a store after here and we can both choose something. - He smiled against her lips, squeezing her tightly around the waist. - If you're good, I can even let you choose my clothes.

– Do you swear? - She raised her left eyebrow, staring at him.

-I swear. - He murmured against the shell of her ear, making her feel goosebumps.

-Then let's get on with it, because if you stay this close to me, we won't be leaving this room any time soon today. - She smiled, pushing him away from her while pulling the clothes off the bed.

As soon as she put on her clothes and turned towards the mirror, Y/n burst out laughing and Aemond couldn't help but laugh softly along with her when he saw himself in the mirror's reflection. Both dressed identically, wearing white cotton shirts and bright orange plain baggy pants.

-We look like two inmates, Aemond. - Y/n writhed with laughter, looking at herself and him. - Didn't they even have shorts?

-They were missing. - Aemond scratched his head as he smiled and admired Y/n so smiling, wearing the ugly hotel clothes and with her hair still damp from the recent shower. - Let's go down or we won't enjoy the day at all.

-I look even worse than you wearing the necklace. - Y/n said as Aemond grabbed the wallet from the sideboard, then pulled it towards him and they both walked out the door still laughing.

-I already know! - Y/n exclaimed, stopping walking and staring at Aemond with wide eyes. - We were arrested because we stole the necklace! - She laughed, throwing her head back and laughing at her own joke, making the older man laugh too, but more restrainedly than Y/n, while holding her close to him.

Upon arriving at the reception, Aemond, now sober, rented a car to they could easily get around the island, a beautiful moss green convertible with retro-looking leather seats. And Y/n couldn't help but tease him about the fact that he was renting a completely classic car on a tropical island, making him smile sideways as he started the car.

-Ok, you can choose the store. - The eldest murmured, gently squeezing Y/n's knee, driving along one of the island's main streets with a smile while her silver hair flew in the gentle wind breeze.

-Gimme a moment. - She smiled, carefully analyzing the stores through the window. The brands were very different in Lys and she didn't know many, only the most famous Love & Grace, but she didn't see it there. And with a smile she asked Aemond to park after seeing a dozen beautiful dresses and other summer clothes in a simple display case.

-You better get ready to keep your promise because today you're going to be my personal model. - She practically bounced when she got out of the car, even briefly forgetting about the ridiculous clothes from the Hotel.

For a moment, as he got out of the car, Aemond looked around, afraid that someone would see them together acting so passionately, or that someone would see him wearing those clothes. But then he remembered where he was and smiled at Y/n, taking her hand in his to cross the street together.

-I told you I could choose an outfit. - He protested and pulled her closer to him, putting his arm around her back and holding her by the waist as they crossed the street.

-I’m pretty sure I heard clothes in the plural. - Y/n hummed. - And don't even try to fool me, Aemond Targaryen, I know you too well for that.

Aemond just smiled and placed a kiss on her hair. As soon as the door opened and they both entered, the store attendant chuckled and looked away slightly when she saw the two, and Y/n just looked at Aemond and curved her eyebrow as if to say "I told you so!" and the older one, in return, just pouted and shrugged in an almost audible gesture of "What can I do?".

And letting go of Aemond, Y/n went towards the smiling attendant who immediately tried to be serious.

-Good morning, I would like to try on the dresses that are on display in your window. - Y/n said, smiling friendly as she leaned over the counter. And the young woman, without looking her in the eyes, nodded positively, already heading towards the window to see what the pieces were, tripping on the way and regaining her balance while holding on to the counter.

-It's okay to laugh. - Y/n smiled again towards the attendant when she noticed the girl's nervousness. - We know we look ridiculous. - She made a face, pointing at her own clothes in a relaxed manner, and the girl smiled a little as she asked Y/n's size.

-What's your name? - Y/n asked as she looked at some clothes and Aemond had to hold back a smile, she hadn't lost her chatty manner.

-Arlie, miss.

-It's a very pretty name if you want to know. - She smiled at the girl as she pulled out two shirts that Aemond strongly suspected were for him.

-Ahem, let's go to the fitting room. - She pulled him by the hand, confirming his suspicions. - Try these on and I'll bring you some more.

The relief Aemond felt when he took his clothes out of the hotel was fleeting when he put on the shirts Y/n gave him.

-I brought black shorts out of respect for your goth side. - She said as she hung the shorts on the dressing room door and waited for him to come out already dressed.

-Speaking of which and paraphrasing you earlier today. - He paused dramatically and opened the dressing room door, coming out with the black shorts and bright yellow shirt. - I'm not wearing that shirt even if I'm dead.

He looked at her very seriously and Y/n burst out laughing at the same time, holding on to the door frame of the dressing room as she looked at him, making Aemond raise his eyebrows.

-I didn't expect you to use it. - She looked at him, still smiling. - That was just personal revenge for making me wear that. - She said pointing to her own clothes, and the older man, rolling his eyes, ripped the shirt off his head and threw it over her, making her laugh even more.

-I'm going to regret letting you do that…

-Okay, okay. - Y/n interrupted him with pleading eyes. - I'll be good now, I promise. - And when she kissed his fingers as she said that, Aemond felt like a string was pulling at his heart, and shaking his head negatively, he brought his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her in for a sweet, soft kiss before returning to the dressing room, leaving Y/n standing there smiling and looking at the door.

-I'll be much nicer now. - She spoke loudly, returning to the store's hall, making the older man smile to himself inside the fitting room as he waited for more clothes.

About forty minutes later, Y/n had already chosen clothes for herself and was just watching Aemond try on his with a look that mixed between pure love, desire and genuine happiness as he changed looked at the pieces with that serious and firm look directed at her, smiling every now and then as they talked.

-You're lucky we don't have much time to waste. - Y/n bit her lower lip as she admired him wearing the looks she put together, already dressed in a beautiful flowing lilac dress and wearing a green bikini underneath. - Or we would stay here forever.

-We already have more than enough for today and tomorrow. - He pulled her by the hips close to him. - Are you satisfied?

-For now. - She gave him a quick peck on the lips and pulled him by the hand towards the cashier, while Arlie passed the clothes. Y/n smiled when she saw a pair of black sunglasses that she knew would look perfect on Aemond. And still smiling, she turned him towards her with her fingertips and placed the glasses on his face, sighing at the result, making Aemond roll his eyes.

-I think it's fair that I at least choose your sunglasses. - He murmured, smiling sideways and Y/n agreed, narrowing her eyes.

-No funny business, sir.

Aemond rolled his eyes, choosing a nice pair of glasses that matched his own and placing them on Y/n's face.

-Excellent taste. - She smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror and Aemond just shrugged with a slightly shy smile as he paid the bill, making her smile even more.

-Bye Arlie, I hope you have a good day of sales. - Y/n waved to the attendant as the two left the store with their various shopping bags.

As she put the bags she was carrying in the trunk of the car, Y/n raised her eyebrows slightly when she noticed that Aemond had put their ugly hotel clothes in a bag from the store, but she ended up not asking him anything when she felt a soft kiss on the back of her neck as he closed the trunk and guided her by the waist towards the passenger seat.

-Where to now? - He smiled, squeezing her thigh as he maneuvered the car.

-I saw a lovely restaurant in front of the beach a few meters back. - She smiled, looking at him. - We can eat and then stay at the beach.

-Sounds really good to me. - Aemond then looked away at Y/n's body and smiled slightly. -This dress looks like the one you wore to my graduation.

-Do you remember? - She looked down analyzing her own clothes with a stupid smile on her lips.

-How could I forget, you were so suspenseful about this that it seemed like it was already our wedding day. - Aemond rolled his eyes with a smile. - And then there you were, more beautiful than any of the graduates sitting in the front rows, waving at me and smiling. I felt like it was more worth being there to admire you than for anything else.

Y/n's heart melted as she heard Aemond describe the way he remembered her that night. And with a smile she placed her own hand over his hand that was on her thigh while he drove and squeezed it gently in affection.

It didn't take them five whole minutes to get to the restaurant, and it really was lovely. With a beautiful bouquet of purple Bougainvillea climbing up the columns and tiles of the porch, making the place cozy and colorful, and several wicker tables and chairs spread across the polished wooden floor.

Aemond pulled out a yellow wicker chair for Y/n to sit on and after she did so he placed a kiss on her hair as he pulled out a chair for himself, sitting next to her and already picking up one of the menus on the table and analyzing it.

They both ordered salmon, but Y/n opted for a Mediterranean salad without onions while Aemond chose something with more green leaves. The lunch was light and peaceful with the two laughing and talking as they shared food from each other's plates even though they had ordered almost the same thing.

And after paying the bill, the two finally went towards the beach, which was empty in that part, but there were still some people talking or sitting in the kiosks, far from the privacy they both wanted.

-We can go to a more secluded place. - Aemond suggested. - We'll take a snack and have a picnic later.

Y/n's eyes lit up at the suggestion and she nodded, pulling Aemond by the hand towards a wooden kiosk covered with straw.

Aemond bought a wicker basket while Y/n chose some things they could take to eat, and in the end she ended up with fruit juices, two sandwiches, a bowl with a mix of strawberries and cherries and some crab cakes.

-Apparently they don't sell lemon cake in beach kiosks. - Y/n rolled her eyes as she put everything in the basket under the watchful eye of Aemond, who just smiled sideways at her.

The two walked and talked for what seemed like hours, until they reached a completely empty and quiet beach. Only the sound of the waves and their voices interrupted there, and with a smile Y/n spread the aqua green linen blanket that Aemond had recently bought on the sand for them both to sit on.

-Gods i missed this so much. - Y/n smiled as she felt the cool sea breeze against her face.

-You just stayed in the conservatory all the time? - He bowed his forehead. - Not allowed to go out?

-We had guided "tours" into town once every two months.

-But? From your tone I know there's a but.

-I was banned because the first time I tried to call you from a pay phone. - She huffed, feeling tears in her eyes as she remembered that horrible day.

-It's okay. - Aemond murmured against her hair after gently pulling her towards him. - We're together now, you're safe and with me.

-No one will separate us anymore. - He stated with certainty, looking into her eyes. - Do you understand me, Y/n?

She nodded, wiping away a tear and smiling at Aemond, giving her a hug.

-Want to talk about this? - He murmured against her hair as he stroked her back with his fingertips.

Y/n just shook her head slowly and then looked him in the eyes.

-I just want to be happy to be here now. - She smiled at the eldest and left a sweet kiss on his angular chin.

❦❦❦

The sunlight shone on Y/n's skin and Aemond enjoyed it as he ran his fingers gently over it. He could notice more clearly every little change in that body he loved so much. Some small light stretch marks that were not there before now went down her breasts and lodged below the fabric of her bikini and Aemond wished to see her naked under the sun so he could see them completely clearly.

And satisfying that desire, he untied the knot of the bikini top, pulling it down and he could see her breasts under the golden sun of Lys. Y/n didn't object, she just stood there with her eyes closed, feeling the touch of his fingers and enjoying the warmth of his gaze.

Aemond gently traced his fingers along the white lines that had appeared there due to the growth. The touch was not malicious, but rather adoration. Y/n's nipples gradually rose with his gentle touch and noticing this, the older smiled and placed a sweet kiss on her left breast, making her shudder.

And with a bigger smile he distributed kisses over her left breast, being meticulous in each small new mark that had appeared. And when he finished he gently sucked her nipple making her bite her lips and gasp his name.

-I'm taking care of you. - He answered simply as he moved to the other breast and did the exact same thing, making Y/n sigh, and when he finished and sucked her right nipple Y/n opened her eyes and pulled him into a slow and passionate kiss that in both of their minds seemed to last hours.

-When we're done I'll have recounted each of your freckles in case a new one has appeared out of my sight. - He promised, trailing kisses down her neck while Y/n tangled her hands in his hair, pulling him closer and closer until they were both hugging each other, Y/n's bare breasts pressed against Aemond's bare chest.

When the two finally let go of each other, Y/n stood up under Aemond's confused gaze, who frowned. And with a mischievous smile, Y/n removed the bottom of her bikini under Aemond's watchful eye. And still laughing, she turned and began walking towards the sea, completely naked.

-Y/n! - Aemond shouted her name, who just laughed, looking at him over her shoulder. - Seven hells. - He grumbled, mesmerized by the sight of her walking naked along the deserted beach under the sun.

-Come with me, Aem. - She called him with that melodious voice while making the come here gesture with her index finger, already entering the water and getting lost in the waves.

Seeing her there, naked in the middle of the sea waves, Aemond suspected that perhaps his cousin was a mermaid, or one of those mythical sea creatures he had read about, that bewitched weak-hearted idiot men. The way he couldn't contain himself in her presence couldn't be normal, there had to be something wrong with it. And with that thought, he took off his own shorts and went towards the sea where Y/n was waiting for him with only her eyes out of the water, and just by looking into her eyes, Aemond knew that she was smiling mischievously at him.

As soon as he approached, she entwined herself around his body like a vine, pulling him close and kissing him slowly.

-I think that in at least one place in the world what you do to me should be considered a crime. - Aemond murmured against her neck salted by seawater.

-Maybe, but I don't care as long as I have you. - She sighed, looking into his eyes and Aemond smiled, pulling her in for another kiss.

-How could you have spent 5 years confined in a conservatory and still be like this? - The eldest bit her lower lip, pulling it slightly.

-Have you ever heard the theory that repression is the best way to create rebellion?

-Good theory. - He kissed her again with even more passion.

-My mother would be so pissed if my ass appeared on the cover of a newspaper. - Aemond said, squinting after thinking for a few moments, making Y/n laugh.

-That's already happened to Aegon, twice, and he's still alive. - She laughed, hanging around his neck. - She'd probably kill you for your naked ass being next to my naked ass.

-Mmmm. - He just muttered under his breath while laughing and Y/n, taking advantage of the distraction, splashed water on him while laughing.

And as if they were children again, the two screamed and splashed water on each other, smiling and laughing amidst kisses and laughter. When they were both shivering from the cold, they got out of the water, still kissing, lightly biting each other's lips.

-You're the most beautiful person I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. - Aemond tucked a lock of hair behind Y/n's ear, speaking in a low, soft voice, making her blush, and then he kissed her deeply once more.

And with her body still wet from the salty sea water, Aemond laid her down on the blanket on the sand and took her under the golden sunset of Lys, loving every part of her body with passionate kisses and sweet caresses while the last rays of the day's sun bathed their naked bodies.

-You're so beautiful.- Y/n sighed, looking at him with bright eyes and her head lying on Aemond's bare chest and her legs entwined between his, both comfortable under the starry sky while the only audible sound was that of the crickets. - The most beautiful man I've ever seen.

-Considering the last few years, I don't think there were many to compare it to. - Aemond joked, slightly laughing and Y/n rolled her eyes with a huff.

-You're the most beautiful Aemond Targaryen, just deal with it. - She lifted her head and her torso, looking into his eyes, speaking seriously, making him let out a nasal laugh and pulling her to lie back on his chest.

-I'm happy to be here with you. - He stroked her hair lovingly while admiring the stars. - It's like I feel alive again after years of living under anesthesia.

-It's funny you say that because I feel the same way. - She caressed his chest with her fingertips.

-Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore. I spent so much time pretending that I think I forgot, but when I'm with you I feel like I'm me again. Just me, without having to try hard for it, without having to think or pretend. - Y/n pressed her eyes tightly as she said this, and Aemond remembered what she had said the day before about pretending to avoid being punished and with that thought he hugged her tightly.

-No need to pretend. Not with me, I will always love you and accept you exactly the way you are. - He smiled softly, looking into her eyes. - Every characteristic of yours makes you my Y/n, and I would never change anything.

Y/n laughed, feeling tears in her eyes.

-Not even my total dislike for reading and dramatic movies? - Her voice was choked as she teased him.

-Maybe the books part. - He tightened his grip on her waist, making her laugh out loud and shrink against him, hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

-I'm hungry. - She murmured against his skin.

-I think we'll have a picnic under the stars then. - He chuckled, pulling the wicker basket closer.

❦❦❦

Y/n and Aemond returned to the hotel for a quick shower and a change of clothes since night had fallen and the youngest was anxious for them to go to the famous luau on the main beach. The two of them put on light-colored clothes and decided to walk since the beach where the luau was taking place was just a few meters from the hotel.

The beach was lit only by fire torches and moonlight while several people laughed, ate and danced to the soft music that was played on a guitar. Some women were weaving flowery necklaces and there were food and drink stalls. Y/n let go of his hand so she could walk around and observe things more closely.

When she returned smiling moments later, she was carrying a shell necklace that she had received from a stranger, and before Aemond could say anything, she put it around his neck with a radiant smile.

-It looks beautiful on you, Aem.

He just smiled and pulled her by the waist, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. The two of them bought a new blanket and spread it on the sand to sit and watch the stars and the sea while enjoying the music, sharing drinks and eating some food that was being served.

The youngest smiled, sipping a fruit drink and humming the same melody that was played on the guitar. And watching Y/n sway gently to the slow rhythm of the music, Aemond took the last sip of his own drink before getting up from the blanket and pulling Y/n to stand as well.

-Would you grant me the honor of this dance, My Lady? - His voice was gallant as he bowed, making Y/n laugh and throw her head back.

-Of course, my good sir. - She bowed with a wide smile as she joined Aemond.

The two danced barefoot on the sand of the beach under the silver moonlight, with satisfied smiles on their faces. Aemond pulled her closer and closer, while his hands grabbed her waist and hips firmly.

-I'm sure that wasn't how our ancestors danced. - She laughed against his neck when she felt a firmer grip on her hip.

-These are modern times, we can adapt some things. - He shrugged, leaving a gentle kiss on her neck and she snuggled even closer to him.

-You know, that dress looked breathtaking on you too. - The compliment flowed easily on Aemond's tongue as the two danced slowly, holding on to each other.

-Truth? - Normally Y/n didn't depend on compliments from others, especially when it came to clothes, but when they came from Aemond it was different.

-Yeah. - He assured, leaving more kisses on her neck and ears. - You're by far the most beautiful of all the people present.

-I can't even blame those assholes for drooling over you when you look so good. - He whispered in her ear and Y/n looked back to see two boys watching them, she just rolled her eyes and laid her head on Aemond's chest.

-They are idiots not for looking, but for thinking that maybe they could have a chance. - She looked at him from under her eyelashes and Aemond smiled, leaving a kiss on her forehead.

Suddenly Y/n felt the skirt of her dress being pulled and when she looked down she found a beautiful little girl with blond hair looking at her shyly.

-Hello dear, what's wrong? - Y/n crouched down looking into her eyes. - Are you lost?

The girl shook her head, her cheeks flushed as she smiled shyly.

-I need to choose someone to participate in the dance contest. - The girl smiled at Y/n.

-And you chose me?

- Only if you want to. - She smiled sweetly while looking at her feet.

-Of course I want to, it will be an honor. - Y/n smiled sweetly at her.

The girl's eyes lit up at the same moment and she offered her hand to Y/n who held it and then gave Aemond a smiling look before following the little girl.

Aemond walked towards the circle in the sand where the torches were positioned to illuminate the girls who were already positioned and with his heart pounding he watched his Y/n enter the circle with that charming smile that made anyone love her, and he knew even before the song started that she would be the winner.

And when the music finally started and everyone started dancing, she looked exclusively at Aemond as if she was dancing only for him, smiling and moving her hips and arms to the rhythm of the music.

As the competition progressed the music became more agitated and more lively and only Y/n and two other women were left. And when only she and a red-haired woman with green eyes were left, the man returned to the stage and asked the audience to decide which one had been better.

As soon as the man extended his hand to Y/n, Aemond applauded loudly along with several other people, and when she was declared the winner, the same little girl who had chosen her was called to place a crown of purple flowers on Y/n's head, who, after being crowned, picked the little girl up with a wide smile on her lips.

Aemond's heart warmed at that sight, and he remembered the dream he had once had as a teenager where he saw Y/n with a silver-haired girl in her arms, but in his dreams that girl was his daughter.

After letting go of the girl, Y/n ran towards Aemond, laughing and throwing herself into his arms as lightning flashed across the night sky followed by thunder.

-Seeing you with that flower crown makes me think that if we had been born centuries ago I would have fought in every tournament just to crown you queen of love and beauty. - He brushed his nose against hers, feeling a light drop of rain drip on his cheek.

-I don't know why I can't imagine you participating in tournaments. - She looked at him smiling from under her eyelashes, hanging from his neck.

-Maybe our lives would be easier if we had been born during the conquest period. - He murmured against her lips.

-Maybe. - She smiled slightly sadly, leaving a sweet kiss on the corner of Aemond's lip.

Little by little the two of them moved away from where the people were gathered, dancing alone in the dark even though they could no longer hear the sound of the music, only the sound of each other's heartbeats.

And slowly the fine drops of rain began to fall thicker and the two laughed with joy, spinning around the beach with the sand stuck to their feet as they felt the fresh, cold water running through their skin. Aemond grabbed her by the waist and spun her in the air, making Y/n throw her head back as she laughed with a bright smile on her face.

And at that moment bathing in the rain with Y/n on the beach under the moonlight, he didn't need to think much to know that he had smiled more in the last five days than in the last five years.

❦❦❦

The next morning, the two woke up shortly after sunrise, determined to make the most of the day before returning to Kings Landing. Their hair was still slightly damp from the night before, after they both ran back to the hotel in a heavy rain during the night, jumping into puddles of water formed on the cobblestones of the streets of Lys and exchanging passionate kisses.

The two said they would not stay in bed that morning, they would go straight to the shower, but after calling the reception and requesting breakfast, Aemond lay down again behind Y/n, rubbing himself sleepily against her thighs, which inevitably led to a round of lazy morning sex while they waited for coffee.

Y/n was still lying there panting and Aemond reluctantly pulled out of her, because as much as he liked to stay in contact with her after climax, there was something else he also liked. And positioning himself between her open legs, he watched with an adoring look as his seed dripped from her intimacy.

-Damn how I missed that. - He sighed in delight as he just admired between her legs. Little by little, he took his own seed with his fingertips and placed it back inside Y/n, only to see it drip from inside her once more as she panted.

After that, he kissed her belly and slowly moved up, making her sigh. He passed through the valley between her breasts, through her neck, until he reached her lips. He placed a gentle, smiling kiss there.

-I want to stay like this forever. Stuck with you. - Aemond laid his head on her chest, listening to the still agitated beating of that heart that proudly belonged to him. - Whenever I'm with you, I can't help but feel at peace with the world. It's like nothing can touch me or knock me down, like I suddenly became the strongest being on this earth.

Y/n stroked the older man's silky silver hair as she felt her heart race with each of his declarations, feeling loved and cherished with each word he uttered.

The two were interrupted by the knock of the maid who brought the breakfast requested by Aemond. Contrary to what was expected, the day had dawned very sunny, and after the rain the waves of the sea were visibly bigger.

And with a smile and many kisses spread across his face and neck, Y/n convinced Aemond to surf just like they had done on a trip to Driftmark when they were already teenagers, and he kept up the habit when they returned to Kings Landing. The oldest rented a board from a kiosk on the beach and the two went hand in hand towards the sea, this time staying in the main part as they didn't want to go too far from the hotel and the main streets.

-I haven't done that in years. - Aemond spoke in a voice a few tones higher to stand out over the loud sound of the waves breaking as he lay face down looking out to sea.

-Honestly, I think if you fell, I would laugh. - Y/n ran her hands through her wet hair, putting it back as she leaned on the surfboard and stared at Aemond.

-Would you at least help me get on the board again? - He raised his eyebrows laughing since the idea of ​​surfing had been hers.

-Probably! - Y/n left a quick kiss on his lips.

Y/n slowly moved away while Aemond went to the deeper side waiting for a wave. And when a particularly big one formed, he swam out quickly and managed to stand on the board while Y/n laughed, screamed and applauded. After leaving the tube, he jumped into the sea, submerging for a few moments before returning to the surface laughing and hitting the water with his fist.

-It was amazing! - Y/n shouted as she swam towards him, still smiling.

-Like riding a bike. - Aemond shrugged and Y/n rolled her eyes, pushing his forehead back with the palm of her hand.

-Always egocentric.

-Mmmm. - He pulled her close to him by the waist. - I can't avoid it. And now it's your turn, My Lady.

-No. - Y/n widened her eyes when she heard him say that, putting her hands on his chest and trying to push him away without success. - No, no, no.

-Just one. - He laughed, holding her against his chest as she struggled. - A small one.

-I never managed to learn how to surf like you and the others. - She rolled her eyes at the memory. - Did you forget? I was terrible, I fell off the board every time, even Uncle Corlys said I was a lost cause that time.

-Not for me. - He immediately denied it with a smile and a chaste kiss on her temple. - You're going to catch a wave today even if we have to stay here all day.

-I hate you. - Y/n looked at him sulkily while grimacing.

-I know that. - The oldest smiled and left a sweet kiss on her neck, already removing the board from his own ankle and passing it to Y/n's.

-If I drown, it will be your fault, Aemond Targaryen. - She grumbled as he helped her onto the board.

-I find it hard, you surf terribly but you swim very well.

Y/n just showed him the middle finger after hearing that and then grabbed the board again.

It took about two hours of instruction from Aemond, Y/n fell off the board every ten minutes. He laughed and she hit his chest with the palm of her hand and threatened to take the board off her ankle. When the sun was already stronger in the sky, she finally managed to stand on the board and with an exuberant smile on her face she surfed a wave for the first time, a small one, but a wave. The love and pride were visible in Aemond's eyes as he smiled and applauded the youngest.

-Fuck you Corlys Velaryon. - She screamed in ecstasy as she threw herself on Aemond, hanging onto his neck while laughing. - I did it, I did it. Did you see that, Aem?

-I told you I could do it. - He left a kiss on her salty lips and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

-Thank you. - Y/n gently brushed her nose against his affectionately as she smiled and looked at him from under her eyelashes.

In the middle of the conversation, the two didn't even notice that the board had come loose from Y/n's ankle and was speeding away into the sea. And with a very serious look, Aemond apologized to the kiosk owner, paying him some gold coins for the lost board while Y/n watched everything with her hands behind her back, biting her lips.

The two chose to go back to the hotel for a shower and after that, they had lunch at the same restaurant as the day before, since Aemond had liked the food and he was very picky about it. Y/n didn't even try, she just liked the fact that the restaurant was covered in beautiful purple flowers.

Lunch was full of conversation and laughter as the two remembered silly things and shared their order with each other as they liked to do, drinking a delicious wine produced right there on the island that Aemond assured Y/n that he would take at least two bottles back with them to Kings Landing.

-Damn, I forgot my wallet at the desk. - Aemond rolled his eyes after putting on his sunglasses, realizing he was missing his wallet as soon as they reached the restaurant's sidewalk, letting go of Y/n's hand and going back inside. - Wait a minute, I'll get it.

-Do you want to know your future child? - A hoarse and cold voice asked as soon as Aemond entered the restaurant, making the hairs on the back of Y/n's neck stand on end. When she turned around, she came face to face with an old woman with extremely white hair and violet eyes wearing completely black clothes that were very closed for such a hot day.

-No, thank you very much. - She smiled, taking a step away from the old woman who had approached. - I don't believe in these things.

-Your pain and suffering will suffocate you until there's nothing left if you don't let them out. - The strange-looking old woman grabbed her hand, looking deeply into her eyes, and Y/n felt her stomach turn with anxiety. - If your soul only pretends to forgive, without actually embracing its essence, your destiny will be covered in bitterness and will take away from you the one you love most.

-I didn't ask to know my future! - Y/n hissed very harshly, pulling her hand towards herself and letting go of the old woman with an angry look while Aemond, who had returned, frowned since it wasn't common to see her treating anyone that way.

-Let's get out of here. - She pulled Aemond by the hand as soon as she saw him practically dragging her towards the car.

-What happened back there? - He started the car while Y/n looked out the window without looking at him.

-I don't want to talk about it. - That was all she said, still without looking at him, and Aemond didn't want to pressure her about it, but he suddenly felt like he was invading her personal space, something he had never felt before and he didn't like that feeling.

The heavy mood that had set in after meeting the elderly woman gradually dissipated as they admired the beautiful landscape of Lys with the wind blowing through their hair, since the convertible top was open.

-We'll have to moisturize our hair when we get back or we'll end up looking like corn on the cob. - Y/n laughed, looking at herself in the car mirror while Aemond smiled sideways and squeezed her knee.

-Where are we? - She frowned when Aemond stopped the car at what looked like the entrance to a park.

-Earlier, the owner of the hotel told me that if we come that side we could see the fountain of the goddess of love. It is she who is on the coins. - He took one of the coins from the pocket of his black linen pants and handed it to Y/n, who finally paid attention to the local coin. It was oval and golden with the design of a beautiful naked woman with long hair and who looked like a mermaid in the center.

-She is beautiful. - Y/n smiled, taking the coin from Aemond's hand and holding it between her fingers with a smile.

The two walked through the lush gardens with enchanted looks, Y/n for admiring the garden and Aemond for admiring Y/n who was wearing a beautiful off-white dress that flowed down to her feet with a slightly transparent skirt that gave her an almost ethereal appearance in the afternoon sunlight. Seeing her walking and smiling amidst all those flowers was what Aemond thought was the closest he would ever get to seeing an angel.

-I've never seen such beautiful hydrangeas in my life, Aem. - She leaned in to smell the scent of the flowers, closing her eyes with an expression of delight on her face. - I'm sure Helaena would love to see this.

-Where is Hel living? - She smiled excitedly as she remembered her older cousin. - I need to go see her as soon as we get back.

-Near the exit to Rosby, facing Blackwater Bay. - Aemond also smiled as he remembered his sister. - She spends almost all her time at the beach.

-She's living alone?

-She adopted a huge dog named Dreamfyre. She was at an adoption fair in Driftmark on a trip Hel took to support an environmental project of Rhaenys. - Aemond shrugged.

-She must be beautiful.

-She drools all over everything, barks non-stop and ate half of Helaena's furniture. - Aemond rolled his eyes.

-That doesn't make her any less beautiful. - Y/n curled her mouth downwards and raised her eyebrows, making Aemond roll his eyes again as he pulled her closer to him by the hip.

After about ten minutes of walking through the beautiful park full of beautiful flowers and a huge number of fruit and ornamental trees, the two arrived at the center where there were a few people sitting on benches admiring the beautiful fountain.

It was all white with a statue of the goddess of love in the center, who now looked even more like a mermaid, but in this version she was holding a clay vase from which crystal clear water fell softly in calm noises.

-The natives say she grants love requests. - Aemond whispered into Y/n's ear.

And with a smile of satisfaction, love and hope on her face, Y/n closed her eyes and threw the coin that Aemond had given her earlier, and which had been pressed firmly in her hands until that moment.

-What did you ask for?

-So that I could be yours and you mine in this life and in all those to come. - She crossed her arms against his neck, joining her forehead with Aemond's.

-You wasted a wish asking for something that is already real. - He kissed her chastely on the lips, smiling when he felt that sweetness he loved so much.

❦❦❦

As dusk approached, Y/n and Aemond walked smiling and holding each other down the main street, trying out food and talking. Y/n had already bought three handmade dresses that she found in smaller stores while they were walking, and a beautiful dark blue shirt for Aemond.

As the sun was setting on the horizon, the two passed in front of a temple to the goddess of love and stopped to watch a couple leaving to the applause of several people. Apparently a wedding due to the clothes and happiness, the two held each other's hands tightly as they smiled at the scene before them. Aemond smiled and gently brushed his lips against Y/n's, then left a gentle kiss there while still holding her hand.

The two separated with smiles at each other and just stood for a few more moments on the other side of the street admiring the happiness of the newlyweds. Suddenly a very dirty and thin dark gray cat came limping down the street, Aemond's eyes instantly went in her direction and Y/n could see him getting sad almost instantly.

And with a sad smile Aemond crouched down and made a soft sound with his mouth, catching the cat's attention. She first looked at him suspiciously showing her teeth and exciting to get closer, and he insisted a little more still making soft sounds as he approached her.

-Calm down girl. - His voice sounded calm and confident, and Y/n smiled seeing the scene. Slowly he reached out his hand, and the little street cat let him touch her dirty and dull fur.

And Aemond took the chance he had been given and gently caressed her with a kind smile on his face.

-Poor little thing. You're probably starving. - His voice sounded sad as he observed the cat who had ribs protruding under her skin because she was so thin.

-Let's get her something to eat then. - Y/n smiled, placing her hand on Aemond's shoulder, who looked back with his eyes shining in agreement.

Aemond had always been passionate about cats, he had a fondness for them since Y/n had met him as a child. He always told her about how cats were intelligent and majestic animals, and when he was younger he was obsessed with the fact that some ancient civilizations worshiped them as if they were deities.

Unfortunately Alicent and Viserys never let Aemond have a cat, Viserys had an old dog named Balerion who was very territorial, and even though he stayed outside more than inside the mansion, Alicent said that he could hurt any other animal and wouldn't let them have other animals.

When Balerion died of old age, Viserys was devastated, but even so, animals were not allowed because Alicent always said that one of them might have an allergy. But that did very little to diminish Aemond's love for cats.

The two walked to a pet shop that they had seen a few blocks back, and when they got there, they bought food for the little cat who ate everything that was offered to her very happily under the watchful eye of Aemond who occasionally stroked her between the ears.

-Why don't you keep her? - Y/n asked when she saw how happy Aemond was with the dirty kitten.

Aemond automatically raised his eyebrows, as if her suggestion was completely absurd.

-I can't have a cat.

-And why not? - She asked gently as she stroked his arm who just stared at her in confusion.

-Because… - Aemond looked at her confusedly as he thought.

There was no Because.

-Aem, you're an adult now, you have your own apartment, you pay your own bills and you're responsible for yourself. - Y/n smiled encouragingly. - There's nothing wrong with doing something you want. Like finally having a cat.

Aemond smiled in disbelief, but that disbelief slowly turned into relief.

-I can do the things I want too. - He repeated to himself, as if Y/n couldn't hear. But she could, and smiled when she heard him say that.

Aemond then walked to the store counter once more to talk to the attendant who was visibly distracted while reading a book with an old cover.

-I'll want a cat carrier. - His voice sounded confident, and Y/n smiled as she looked from Aemond to the cat, who had followed him to the counter and was rubbing against his leg, purring.

❦❦❦

When the two realized it, it was already night, and at any moment Captain White would be waiting for them in the private hangar of the island's airport. Y/n felt her heart tighten in her chest just at the thought of returning to Westeros. Where nothing was private and everyone watched their lives with a magnifying glass, analyzing every mistake to try to separate them. It was as if the weekend had lasted a lifetime, but at the same time it had passed as quickly as a gust of wind.

-Hey beautiful, I have something for you. - Aemond walked through the door with a smile and a red bag in his hands, he had come down a few minutes ago to close the hotel and car rental bill.

-What is it? - Y/n arched her eyebrows, approaching and trying to look inside the bag, and when she saw the contents, her eyes sparkled with joy. - No fucking way. Is that Myrish chocolate?

-Apparently they don't just sell junk at the hotel store. - He smiled and then gasped, stepping back trying to regain his balance after the impact of Y/n jumping on him and distributing kisses all over his face while saying thank you.

Y/n threw herself on the bed, still smiling, with the bag in her hands, already pulling out one of the bars and peeling the chocolate. As soon as she put it in her mouth, she gently threw her head back and moaned with contentment, slowly licking her fingers where the melted parts of the chocolate had remained.

-If you keep going like this, we're going to have a problem. - Aemond raised his eyebrows, admiring her on the bed, and Y/n laughed, running her tongue over her lips provocatively.

-Teasing. - He rolled his eyes, discreetly adjusting his pants as he finished putting the things they had bought in a new brown suitcase.

-This is the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. I could cry because this chocolate is so good, all the other chocolates have been ruined for me, Aem. - She spoke happily as she ate and Aemond just smiled as he watched her genuine joy.

When the room phone rang with a warning that the car had arrived to pick them up, Y/n felt her own heart constricting in her chest with each step she took towards the door.

-What's going on, love? - Aemond placed the cat's transport box on the armchair and held her with both hands, looking into her eyes, and Y/n lowered her gaze, staring at her own feet, unable to say anything.

-You know you can talk to me, Y/n. - He murmured, getting even closer to her. - It's me, Aem.

-I'm afraid to go back. - Y/n sighed, tucking her head into the crook of Aemond's neck.

-What are you afraid of? - He pulled her so he could look into her eyes and could see the shine of tears there.

-That all of this will end. - She practically sobbed, her voice choked. - That they'll separate us once again. - A tear ran down her cheek. - To lose you.

-No. - Aemond spoke in a serious voice, holding her tightly close to him and looking into her eyes. - I won't allow anyone to separate us again. Never again.

-Do you swear? - She asked, still tearful.

-I swear. - Aemond promised as he wiped the tears that had escaped from his Y/n's eyes. - It will be you and me forever. Nothing will come between us, not again.

Y/n smiled slightly upon hearing this and hugged him again, resting her head close to Aemond 's heart and sighing upon hearing the agitated sound that came from there. That heart belonged to her, it always did. Just as hers belonged to him, and Y/n didn't know what she would do if, of all people in the world, Aemond broke it.

tag list: @afro-hispwriter @fan-goddess @strangersunghoon @zenka69 @callsignwidow @amanda08319 @alesswift-blog @marialikescherries

Final notes: Thank you to all of you who commented on previous chapters and asked to be tagged, I think you're all here. 💕💕

Ps: A virtual hug to whoever guesses who the dear cat that Aemond adopted is. Hahaha 💕💕

Tell me what you think of the story, it makes me very happy. 💖

Next chapter

[daandyli0n]

(warnings: blood/mild gore, implied child death (and murder in Cassidy's case), eye contact. maybe also bright colors/eyestrain)

Some Updated Refs For The Afton Family In The Rewrite

(you know the drill, click the images to see details better and whatnot)

hooo boy. give me a minute to ramble about the designs and stuff below -

William:

so. tried to give him both "Eccentric, Goofy Restaurant Owner" and "REALLY Off-Putting" Vibes. hope i succeeded

yes he's hiding a knife behind his back.

bunny features. i Love William with bunny features. if you draw William with Bunny Features ily (platonically)

this man has not gotten a good night's sleep in Years.

now...you may be wondering: Why Do His Kids Get Refs For When They're Older, But Not Him? well...that's because, physically, he doesn't change much besides getting some more gray hairs and worse eye bags in the over a decade between his original murders and his death. and i've already done a ref for what O'Hare/Springtrap looks like in my design

yes, the Unhinged look in his eyes is intentional.

Alex:

gave his younger self a pose that was meant to give off "rebellious teenager" vibes, and his older self a pose that gives off "bitter and anxious" vibes.

gave him long hair. because Yes.

tallest of his siblings.

Michael:

looks like his father, but with a few minor changes: skin is mildly more tanned than his father, hair is a lighter shade of brown, etc.

William based the 1987 uniforms for the guards/employees off of his own usual outfit (Purple. which Backfired).

Mike tried to change his hair a bit to distinguish himself from his father, mostly by dying it a bright red and trying to cut the Bunny Ear-Shaped parts on the top of his hair to be more jagged and less Bunny-Like.

scars on his arm are from where Springtrap grabbed onto him.

Evan:

not much to say. bookworm, sad guy, probably needs to go to therapy for what happened in his childhood.

Elizabeth:

Bunny Features :]

she's basically somewhere between blonde and ginger hair color wise. i'd describe her as a strawberry blonde.

constantly has a wide-eyed look. like a hare.

mismatched socks, just because she could.

ghosts are typically either desaturated or transparent, with the only bright colors on them are usually their eyes or the bloody wounds from their death.

so while it's not shown here, "fun" fact! Liz died from where Harriet (Circus Baby) hugged her hard enough to break not just her spine, but her neck as well. (the hug was so strong due to Harriet malfunctioning that day)

all ghosts who have their souls tied to an animatronic have a mask of that animatronic that they can wear if they wish. Liz's mask is of Harriet.

Cassidy:

my baby boy. my beloved <3

those pants are pajama pants. he wore them everywhere.

while not visible, Cassidy also wears mismatched socks like Liz.

the Fredbear plush was a gift from Henry, given to Cassidy by Charlie.

was blind in one eye after The Bite.

The Bite wasn't as horrible as people think it was. what basically happened was that the teeth bit slightly into his head, which caused the bleeding, as well as some cracking in the skull and brain damage in his frontal lobe. due to the mechanisms in Fredbear being Very hot as well, it caused some burns. nothing that couldn't heal, but...it Was still pretty serious.

while The Bite itself didn't kill Cassidy, he still, as a ghost, appears to have a bleeding section of his head.

the strangulation marks on his neck are more visible as a ghost.

Cassidy, as a spirit, can occasionally leak a mysterious black fluid from his eyes and mouth, which is reflected on his Mask.

Cassidy is transparent as a ghost.

anyway!! here's the guys!!

@that-darn-clown @hello-there-world

[a-court-of-lust-and-stardust]

Love on Ice Chapter 7: The Bakery

Thank y’all for all the support on this fic ❤️ Please check out my masterlist for prior chapters and artwork!

39 Days before Competition

“Now, I’m no expert, but do skating practices typically end with almost fucking your partner on the ice?” 

The plate of raspberry tarts almost slipped out of Elain’s grasp. She recovered, thankfully, placing them inside the display case before shooting Nuala an incredulous look. “What?” 

From the other side of the bakery, Cerridwen chuckled softly, shaking her head at her twin sister’s antics as she filled the shelves with fresh bread loaves. 

It’s been two years since Elain set foot in Sweet Sensations Bakery after noticing the Help Wanted sign on the window. It was a bold move on her part. Not only had she been discouraged from working when Mama was alive, every shift deprived Elain of precious ice time she could’ve used to rehearse a routine.

But Mama had passed away and Elain thought she should at least figure out how to support herself in the event she never stood atop the podium, even if Mama would be disappointed in the decision to work at a place she viewed as ‘lesser’. Disheartened to know she was working at all. 

That’s all it was, though. A way to accumulate income. Wake up, clock in, do your job, clock out. It wasn’t much different than skating. She was professional and efficient, keeping the twins at arm’s length. A job she could manage–maybe–but friendships were off the table. No matter how persistent Nuala and Cerridwen were. She’d already declined the invitation to their 30th birthday celebration two times. 

“Well, with the way you just described the last week of practices, color me shocked that none of them ended with your clothes off,” Nuala said, restocking the peanut butter brownies in the display with a shrug. “I haven’t found a kinder way to say it, but you will be a fool if you do not let that man take you to bed and–.” 

Elain gaped, half shocked she didn’t end up giving herself whiplash from the speed she turned her neck. The older twin was the more brazen of the two. Elain still hadn’t got used to it, even living with Nesta all those years. “Nuala!” 

She licked peanut butter from her fingers, poorly suppressing a dimpled grin. 

“He is quite handsome, isn’t he?” Cerridwen muttered to no one in particular. While Nuala was shameless, Cerridwen was more reserved. She mostly spoke only when spoken to. Elain supposed this conversation was the exception. 

“That is…horribly inappropriate,” Elain scolded, emerging from the kitchen with a small fudge cake. And also entirely too close to what would be considered friendship talk. “Us having chemistry is important. It means our performances will be more emotional and believable.” 

It was incredible what they had been able to accomplish in a little more than a week of practices. They were tough and long and she walked away sweating half the time, but she never felt mentally exhausted by the end. She took them seriously, but also allowed herself to giggle at all of Azriel’s terrible jokes and weird dance moves. Sometimes she joined him, and impromptu dance breakouts were slowly becoming a crucial part of their practices. That, and documenting their skating journey with photos and videos in her phone’s camera roll. 

Their chemistry was most impressive and had only grown stronger in a minimal amount of time. She wouldn’t say friendship, not yet, but it was slowly starting to feel that way. Azriel shamelessly shared some of his most embarrassing teenage memories, and Elain offered a few happy ones from her childhood back in the Village. Azriel insisted on spending time together outside of the rink, and she normally shut him down. Her compromise, however, was that they could exchange numbers and message each other throughout the week. He’d taken full advantage of the opportunity, always making sure to send her a message before bed and a kind greeting when she woke up. More than once, she caught herself smiling at her phone. 

Everything was natural. Nothing was forced or fake or awkward. Having him in her life was refreshing. He wasn’t afraid to grip her hips or hold her in his arms or playfully pinch her cheeks. And she wasn’t as hesitant to clutch his shoulders or stroke his face or jokingly bump her hip against his. The past few days were proof enough that their chemistry was alive and burning. And also strictly professional. At least, that's what she was still telling herself. 

“You’re saying if the opportunity presented itself to you, you’d decline?” Nuala scoffed, but it was easily wiped off her face when she noticed how quiet Elain had become. How rosy her cheeks were. How her eyes looked everywhere and nowhere. It clicked. “Oh shoot. You haven’t slept with anyone, have you?” 

Elain rolled her eyes, occupying herself with counting the money in the register. “Would you like to scream that to the entirety of Prythian, while we’re at it?” A long pause, followed by a dispirited sigh. “No, I haven’t. I didn’t exactly have boys lining up to date me, not when Mama scared them away. Not to mention, practice kept me busy. It still does. Sex is the least of my concerns.” But damn, wouldn’t she like to experience it just once. To give herself to someone she trusted. To let someone make her feel good. To make someone else feel good…

“Speaking of sex…” Cerridwen whispered, and not even a second later the bell over the door dinged, signaling the first customer of the day. Elain glanced up from the register, hands gripping the wad of cash. 

“Azriel,” She breathed, kicking Nuala’s ankle when her shoulders shook with laughter. The older twin made herself useful by checking on the batch of blueberry muffins currently in the oven. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” he greeted, flashing her a smile before dipping his head toward Cerridwen. 

“Where are you headed this morning?” Easy and light. Not too eager or curious. 

“A friendly scrimmage game against the Adriata Rays,” he explained, readjusting the backward cap on his head. Waves of black hair curled over his ears and down the back of his neck. 

“Why are you playing a scrimmage in the middle of the playoffs?” Elain snickered, sliding the bills into their allocated slots in the register. 

“You can never play too much hockey,” He cleared his throat, asking, “Ever been to a playoff game before?” She shook her head. “I have not, but–.” 

“If you ask me, I think she’d love to go to one sometime,” Nuala chirped, emerging from the kitchen with warm, toasted muffins. Her brown eyes sparkled wickedly. 

“Well, no one did ask you, Nuala,” Elain huffed, turning her attention back to Azriel. His grin stretched wider, amused by the exchange. “But no, I've never been to one. Skating prevents me from doing anything else.” “Maybe it shouldn't,” Azriel suggested lowly, knuckle rapping against the glass display. “The best seats are right up on the boards, and the energy in the building is unlike anything you’ll experience. You might even get lucky and see Cassian fuck someone up in a fight.”

Elain chuckled, fingers delicately brushing over the keys on the register. “Tempting, although he really can’t afford to lose any more teeth.” 

“Or I could flip you a puck,” Another attempt at convincing. “I’ll even sign it for you,” He winked playfully. 

She rolled her eyes, not fighting against the upward tilt of her mouth. “I will…consider it for the future. I make no promises, though.” 

“Good luck,” Nuala snorted, biting into an extra muffin. “She won’t even attend our birthday celebration at Rita’s.”

Elain huffed. “I will consider attending that, too.” 

The twins’ eyes sparkled in delight. 

Azriel’s efforts had hit a brick wall, it seemed. Another time, he’d try again. “What’s your favorite thing here?” He asked curiously, one arm leaned casually against the display. It took every ounce of willpower for her eyes to remain politely on his face and not track the swirling ink on his arms and neck. 

His neck. 

She blinked, eyes the size of saucers at the discolored bruise. It wasn’t too large, but big enough for her to spot it without really trying. A hickey. There was a damn hickey proudly displayed on his tanned skin. 

Elain’s mind spiraled before she could stop it. Did he have a girlfriend? That would have been imperative to know, lest she be uncomfortable with their proximity on the ice. She didn’t want to appear disrespectful by intimately touching another woman's man. 

Or maybe it was a fling, someone he’d met at a bar and taken home for a drunken fuck.

Elain didn’t know which scenario was worse. 

Or why her teeth ground together.

Or why her skin felt hot. 

Or why she even cared. 

Realizing he was still waiting for an answer, she choked out, “Raspberry tarts for breakfast, oatmeal cookies when I’m upset, and strawberry shortcake for a late night treat.” 

She mentally slapped herself at the unnecessary word vomit. What the fuck, Elain? Luckily, he didn’t appear phased, head dipping toward the treats.

“Then I’ll take a tart. Oh, and two slices of fudge cake for Rhys and Cassian, even though it’s nine in the morning. I don't feel like hearing them run their mouths for not bringing them anything.” With a curt nod, she packaged away a fresh tart and generous pieces of cake, sliding it toward him. Up close, Azriel beamed at the sweets. “These look incredible, Elain.”

“I dabbled in a few recipes when I was young before I really started to take skating seriously,” she shrugged off the compliment, ringing up the order. “Croissants, breads, cakes, you name it. I sometimes made dinner for my family too, though Mama wasn’t thrilled about it. My beef stew was a hit and Nesta always liked when I cooked–.” 

She caught herself, shaking the rest of the thought from her brain. Why in the world would he even care about this stuff? He didn’t need to hear more of her life story. 

Azriel frowned, urging her to continue, but the bakery door had opened five more times since his arrival and she couldn’t hold up the new customers. 

“Well, I hope you gentlemen enjoy the treats,” Elain said, handing him his change. Her eyes fell to the chocolate frosting on his finger that had transferred from the cake container. 

“Oops, sorry,” Elain gestured to the frosting. “Before you go, let me grab you a napkin.” 

He didn’t need a napkin–apparently–because his tongue did the job quite well. In one fluid motion, Azriel sucked the chocolate off his finger, holding her gaze as he did so. 

Cerridwen gawked. 

Nuala whistled lowly. 

And with the way his soft, satisfied moan shot straight to her core, Elain knew she was in so much trouble. 

ARTWORK FOR THE CHAPTER BY @chachachai17: Here

DIVIDER BY: @saradika-graphics

[phoenixinthefiles]

Times like these I really wish this app had a text to speech function:

I’ve been thinking about citzenzhip a lot when it comes to the Batfamily, HEAR ME OUT.

Disclaimer: I am not part of an immigrant family so if anything I say is offensive please let me know

So Dick, Damian, and Cass, were obviously born outside the U.S, WHERE’S THE CHARACTER EXPLORATION FOR THAT?

Like Damian and Dick knew English before coming here but there are still other experiences they definitely would’ve gone through.

Damian probably hated/hates the U.S. He was raised on “you do things perfectly-good-you slip up-punishment” (that’s obviously horrible) but the U.S. and all its systems are oftentimes OVERLY complicated. Can you imagine how hard it would be to go from an abusive, perfectly, structured environment, to one that’s constantly divided over the simplest things?

Not to mention that if we’re going with the backstory of him having lived in the desert for the majority of his childhood, there’d be a massive climate change. Like he’d probably have allergies, and maybe eczema.

Can you imagine finally getting to meet your father and you breakout and nearly asphyxiate because of the air pollution. (Slight hyperbole)

Ra’s Al Ghul is a horrible, abusive man but he’s relatively environmentally conscious (still horrible and abusive)

And with Dick?

If we go off Haly’s Circus being an European traveling circus, and his mother possibly being a French-speaking Roma, we can understand why it’d be difficult for him to adapt to life at Wayne Manor.

You travel 3 hours from London and you end up in Paris. A kid who’s used to that type of learning environment would HATE the American school system. He’s sitting in an uncomfortable desk chair listening to a teacher drone on about something he will never use in his life. When he used to be taught physics, while doing a handstand on the railing of the freaking Ponte de Rialto.

Regardless of potentially having ADHD or not, he’s still fidgeting in his seat—yearning for recess. But because this is America (and likely around the early 2000’s or so) his teacher rudely points out his fidgeting and the rest of the class see the boy that looks different from them, acting differently from them as well. And Children can be cruel.

I can’t imagine the experience of being an extroverted child who is used to forming connections with children, who look different from him, BECAUSE of his talents and uniqueness, being thrust into an environment that discourages that,WHILE HE’S GRIEVING HIS PARENTS.

Also Damian and Dick are both tan/brown skinned, and they’re likely going to a rich private school without a lot of people that look like them. (Gotham Academy did not start gaining a more diverse population until Jason came around and that was the reason he wanted to go to public school[I stand by this headcanon…bcus fiction imitates life])

Not to mention the unreasonable amount of prejudice towards Arabs in this country and others. That’s a rough time for a 8-11 year old who JUST moved here and already has a disconnect with his peers due to his abuse and forced maturity.

SO, SO much I’ve said and so, so much I still haven’t. I haven’t even BEGUN to talk about Cass and how difficult it had to be to come to THIS country not being able to understand spoken language at all? She was a teenager when she met Bruce but that just makes different, not better.

Once again I am Black, so while I have experience as a minority in this country, I have no experience with being an immigrant so if I have said something offensive do NOT hesitate to let me know.

Also does this count as me writing something? Probably not huh?

@vhscity idk if you want to read my rant with horrible grammar mistakes.😭😭

[rebellenotes]

A Reflection on Habits, Pain, and the Right to Heal

I’ve always found it fascinating how our childhood shapes us as adults. It’s so puzzling to me how incidents we think we’ve acknowledged and dealt with can still haunt us subconsciously.

One example is my compulsive need to poke my head out of the shower every few minutes to make sure no one has broken into the apartment. Sometimes I even have to lock the bathroom door, even though the apartment front door is locked and I live alone. Who’s coming into the bathroom while I’m showering?

Yet I know it became a habit after my seven year older brother continuously snuck into the bathroom while I was showering when we both lived with our parents to scare me. I never used to lock the bathroom door. Then he started sneaking in to scare me by punching the shower curtain out of nowhere. I thought I could stop him by locking the bathroom door. He started picking the lock to sneak in and do the same thing. So I started my habit of peeking out of the shower. That started when I was in my early teenage years. As I’m writing this, I’m 22, and I still do it.

It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I know logically that I’m safe. I know my brother isn’t about to pick the lock of an apartment he doesn’t even live in (and that is 3 hours away), just to punch my shower curtain for old times’ sake. But habits like this aren’t logical—they’re survival instincts your brain refuses to let go of. Even when the “threat” is long gone, your body remembers.

I think about this a lot: the way our minds and bodies hold on to these echoes of the past, even after we’ve told ourselves, “That was years ago. I’m fine now.” But am I fine? Sure, my brother’s antics seem harmless when I tell the story now—he’d probably laugh and call me dramatic—but at the time, it was terrifying. It was that kind of sharp, primal fear that makes your heart race and your fight-or-flight instincts kick in. And for a teenage girl, trapped behind a flimsy curtain, it felt like an invasion. Straight out of Psycho.

I wonder how many other little quirks I have that are rooted in experiences like that—things I don’t even think about anymore but that still affect how I navigate the world. Maybe the way I instinctively glance over my shoulder when I walk home at night after being harassed by a man who had an interest in violent hobbies, or how I startle when someone raises their hand towards me for a high five, because that hand looks awfully similar to the one that once hit me in my face out of nowhere.

These habits become so ingrained that they start to feel like a part of who you are, but they’re really just shadows of who you used to be. Shadows of a version of yourself who needed to stay alert, to be prepared for anything.

But how do you move past it? How do you convince your brain that it’s safe to relax now? I’m not sure I have the answer yet. Maybe it’s just a matter of time. Or maybe it’s about learning to have a conversation with those shadows, acknowledging them instead of trying to push them away. Like saying, “Hey, I see you. I know you’re here because you were trying to protect me. But we’re okay now. You don’t have to work so hard anymore.”

And maybe, one day, I’ll stand in the shower and feel like I can close my eyes without worrying. Until then, I guess I’ll keep peeking out. Old habits die hard, after all.

Perhaps habits can teach us to be more understanding. But being understanding doesn’t equate to excusing or forgiving someone. It can merely act as an explanation, and we can all have compassion for even the most horrible people. Or rather, as I’d like to think of it, we have compassion for their tragic experiences. If we understand why people are the way they are, how their experiences shape their lives, then aren’t we getting closer to understanding humanity, which is, debatably, one of the biggest questions out there.

It’s a strange paradox, isn’t it? The idea that understanding someone doesn’t mean condoning their actions. You can hold compassion in one hand and accountability in the other. I think about this a lot, especially when reflecting on my own habits and the experiences that shaped them. If I can trace my quirks and fears back to specific events, can’t others do the same? Doesn’t everyone, in some way, carry the weight of their own shadows?

But here’s where it gets tricky: where do we draw the line? At what point does understanding someone’s past stop justifying their present actions? It’s one thing to say, “I get why you’re like this,” but another entirely to say, “And it’s okay for you to keep being this way.” The balance is delicate, and I think it starts with the acknowledgment that everyone’s humanity is messy and imperfect—including our own.

I’ve tried to apply this lens to myself, too. Instead of berating myself for being overly cautious, I’ve started to look at these habits with curiosity. What are they trying to tell me? Maybe my tendency to peek out of the shower isn’t just a leftover fear—it’s a reminder that my mind and body are capable of keeping me safe. Maybe the shadows of my past don’t just haunt me; they teach me. They remind me of resilience, of boundaries I’ve learned to set, of the ways I’ve grown.

That understanding, though, doesn’t mean I want to live like this forever. I don’t want to carry these shadows into every shower, every dark street, every raised hand. I want to learn how to set them down, gently, like putting away an old coat I no longer need to wear. Maybe that’s what growth really is: not banishing our pasts, but learning how to coexist with them without letting them define us.

But that’s easier said than done, and I think I have somewhat of an unpopular opinion on this matter, because I believe we, as conscious humans, should exercise our right of feeling sorry for ourselves. And while maybe it is a “hot take,” I don’t think it’s that hard to understand. By simply experiencing and focusing on the hurt we’ve endured, we get an outlet for our emotions, which in turn can help us heal in the long term.

Saying something like that unfounded, is of course… diabolical. But it’s not unfounded. Studies have proven over and over again that letting out your feelings, whether through talking, writing, or even crying, is an essential part of processing trauma and moving forward. Bottling things up doesn’t make the shadows go away—it just pushes them deeper into the corners of your mind, where they quietly take root and grow. Acknowledging your pain, even sitting with it for a while, is not weakness. It’s human.

And let’s be real: our society doesn’t make it easy. We’re constantly told to “move on” and “stay positive,” as if emotions are hurdles to leap over instead of waves to ride. But ignoring what’s underneath doesn’t make it disappear. It’s like covering a crack in the wall with a fresh coat of paint—eventually, it’ll resurface, bigger and more complicated than before.

Feeling sorry for yourself gets a bad rap because people conflate it with self-pity. But there’s a key difference. Self-pity is wallowing without purpose, a kind of stuckness that doesn’t move you forward. Feeling sorry for yourself, on the other hand, is an acknowledgment: “I went through something hard, and it’s okay to feel hurt about that.” It’s a step toward self-compassion. It’s saying to yourself what you might say to a friend: “That really sucks. No wonder you feel this way.”

But you know what’s even more of a hot take? Sometimes, I think self-pitying is necessary too. It sounds counterproductive, doesn’t it? Like I’m advocating for a wallowing pity party. But hear me out—there’s a difference between indulging in self-pity as a means of staying stuck and using it as a stepping stone toward understanding and healing. Sometimes, you have to let yourself feel the full weight of everything before you can put it down. You can’t clean up a mess you won’t even look at.

And the reality is that by looking in disdain at self-pity, we’re denying people their right to hurt. And it is a right. Because it’s a core part of us as humans. Someone who has tripped and broken their leg, screaming in pain, is going to pity themselves, because the pain isn’t merely a physical sensation. Pain is so raw and innate that it becomes us, and sometimes when the pain gets so extreme, you pity yourself without shame because what else can you do?

But when the pain isn’t physical—when it’s emotional or psychological—society expects something different. We’re told to bottle it up, to keep it together, to be “strong” and “resilient,” as if those traits are defined by our ability to suppress our own suffering. Worse, when the source of that pain is something like assault, harassment, or trauma, shame piles onto the already unbearable weight.

For victims of sexual assault, this shame can feel like a second attack. It sneaks in quietly, whispering lies like, “You should have done something differently,” or, “This was your fault.” Society, in all its victim-blaming glory, reinforces this. Questions like, “What were you wearing?” or, “Why didn’t you fight back?” shift the blame onto the survivor, creating a feedback loop of guilt and shame that can take years—sometimes a lifetime—to untangle.

And when you’re already battling that shame, self-pity feels dangerous. It feels like giving in. You tell yourself you don’t deserve to feel sorry for yourself because, somehow, you’ve internalised the idea that what happened was your fault. But it wasn’t. It never was. And yet, that shame sits there, festering, making you believe that even feeling hurt is a kind of indulgence you’re not entitled to.

But here’s the thing: self-pity, in those moments, is not indulgence—it’s survival. It’s a small, quiet rebellion against the shame that’s trying to silence you. It’s a way of saying, “I didn’t deserve this. I was hurt, and that matters.” It’s reclaiming your right to grieve for what was taken from you, to acknowledge the weight of what you’re carrying, and to validate your own pain in a world that might try to minimize it.

I think about how this cycle of shame keeps people trapped. How it convinces them that their trauma is their own fault and that they should be strong enough to “get over it” without ever letting themselves feel the full depth of their pain. But healing doesn’t work like that. You can’t bypass the hard parts. You can’t skip over the anger, the sadness, the self-pity, and expect to come out whole on the other side. Those emotions aren’t roadblocks—they’re stepping stones.

It’s infuriating to me how deeply shame is ingrained in these experiences. It’s not enough to go through something horrific—you’re then expected to carry the weight of society’s judgments on top of it. And while I wish I could wave a magic wand and erase that shame for every survivor out there, the truth is that the work of healing is messy and personal. It’s about learning, slowly and painfully, that the shame doesn’t belong to you. It never did.

So, yes, sometimes you’ll feel sorry for yourself. Sometimes you’ll cry for the person you used to be, the innocence you lost, the trust that was shattered. And that’s okay. That’s necessary. Because every tear you shed, every moment of self-pity you allow yourself, is a step toward reclaiming your narrative. It’s a way of saying, “This happened to me, but it doesn’t define me.”

Shame wants to silence you. It wants to make you believe that your pain is a burden and that your healing isn’t worth the time or effort. But feeling sorry for yourself? That’s defiance. That’s taking back your story, one small step at a time. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, remind them that healing is not a straight line—and neither is being human.

[popculturebuffet]

For a new Disney TVA comparison thing, which villain posession plot was the most messed up:

Dipper posessed by Bill Cipher in Gravity Falls

Ludo posessed by Toffee in Star vs the Forces of Evil

Lena posessed by Magica in DuckTales 2017

Marcy posessed by the Core in Amphibia

Hunter posessed by Belos in Owl House

Oh god I thought this would be hard and it is hard to still rank them as I recover from my cold as their all some degree of fucked up. Unlike last time where there were more gaps. But in terms of which is the most fucked up we're going from least to most

5. Ludo: Ludo's is still bad: Toffee gaslit him, used him and the idea of huge gaps in your memory where somoene else was using you is terrifying. See the part of the book of Bill after he and ford break up. While Wakey Wakey Here's a Snakey is hilarious, it quickly shows just how fucking horrible this can be. It's why the concept of symbiote spider-man is used so much. This idea your body isn't your own and something ELSE is doing things is chilling.

That said Ludo makes bottom for one simple reason: while he was manipulated, unlike the rest of these poor children (Ludo is a manchild but still a children), Ludo.. was a tad stupid, going from being horribly manipulated to... being horribly manipulated by the same person but it's more obvious something's shady. He just takes his wand half at face value and dosen't realize shit is fucked till it's too late and FULLY intends to do villianous take over mewni shit. He's sympathetic: Mewni is deeply racist, Ludo had a bad childhood, but it dosen't excuse him deciding to fix things by... attacking a teenager and gladly following Toffee's suggestion to enslave his fellow monster. Ludo gives not one iota of a shit about the political strife. He hates the opression , but wants to be the opressor rather than fix it. He becomes a better person, but the show makes it clear he had a lot of villianous tendencies to either overcome or redirect first. At the time of season 2 while his situation is horrific and h'es pitable but he dosen't start from mostly innocent like the rest of the victims here.

4. Marcy. A shock the darcy thing is second lowest here, but it shows just what a fucke dup baseline we got: Marcy's situation is monsterous: a hive mind of terrible people taking a child as their meat puppet and thin king their HONORING her by letting her join them. Her screams and transformation haunt me and what the core did is fucking ghastly. It's low.. because she can't see it. They section her away because they assume correctly once she has agency she might break off.. and she does. It's fucked up to use someone's body to attack their friends, raze their home dimension and .. well everything. Everything the core did. The core is a bastard and a l ine of bastards and i'ts good it's stuck far away from where it can hurt people. Marcy's only this low because she at least didn't have to watch.

3. Dipper: Dipper is 3rd because there's no personal angle. Like the core Bill did this out of convience. It USED marcy's body against sasha

The top two both have a LOT of abuse and history caked on top and it' swhy these three are lower: Ludo was convient, Marcy was convient and Dipper just happened to be there. What puts dipper in the middle is that while Bill dosen't have a history of abusing dipper, he still DELIGHTS in using his body, saying creepy shit and generally fucking up his life. He's not going out of his way to do it but he's willing to kill a child once he's done using his body and made sure dipper was good and tired before playing him. There's more direct manipulation, more horrifying intent and more horrifying use. It combines the worst of the previous two: using someone's body aginst their loved ones and being a prisoner of your own body.. but unlike Ludo or Marcy dipper has to watch. Speaking of which

2. Lena: Lena and Hunter easily got the top two as their situations are similar: both were raised by abusive monsters , both seen as more extentions of them than actual beings and both tossed aside when it was convient. Lena gets number 2 becaues it's more personal than the previous ones. While Bill's impersonal plan to kill dipper and ruin his life is dark, Magica KNOWS how badly sh'es treated Lena, Knows how badly this will hurt her.. and snatches away her will the second she won't play ball. The second she can make Lena just a puppet she does and the second she can kill her she does. Lena's trapped and she only doesn't get #1, the poor poor traumtized angel because Belos has all this.. and worse.

BElos: Belos easily one this one. Lena was close.. but it was always going to be belos infecting hunter. It has everything lena has: the long train of abuse, the lack of seeing their prey as a person, the sheer calusouness.. but unlike Magica who gets a few taunts but gets wolverined Belos really gets to mak ea meal of how much he dosen't see hunter as a person. He tries murdering the boy outright "I can always make another", then tosses him aside, THEN has the gaul to choose him as his target for body possesion. The rest were all convience... while Belos has an element of that, and Magica and Bill were cruel monsters, belos CHOOSE Hutner. Choose someone he watched as he slowly recovered from the years of abuse and gaslighting Belos placed on the poor child, saw him happy.. and had no shred of empathy. Magica has the same issue, but Magica dosen't try to claim the high ground. She knows what she is. Dosen't make her good. She's still a piece of shit.. btu Belos TRULY thinks he's helping people and that this is justified. That trying to remake his brother only to kill him countlessly was okay. That using Hunters body is okay. He RELISHES in hurting the hexasquad. He enjoys it. He may claim it's a higher goal.. but stealing hunter was both convient.. and payback on a bunch of children for daring ot defy him an dhis brother for daring to defy him. He lies to himself.. but the ham he shows in the fight shows just how much he truly ENJOYS his horrible "duty"... and tha'ts why he earned it. IT's that perosnal fuck you to someone he horribly abused and a bunch of chidlren he all horribly affected in some way. That callousness.

[hashimasims]

The season is just about to change to Winter. The day before Harvestfest Kanaloa asks her to join him for a walk through Myshuno Meadows. The two of them walk in amicable silence just enjoying the scenery until they make it back to the entrance of the park and Kana pulls her under the remaining blossoms of the Cherry Tree. She does not like where this is going.

Kanaloa: Elucea, I . . . Elucea: No Kana, the answer is no. Kanaloa: But you don't even know what I was going to say Elucea: The romantic walk, the trying for a nice back drop with the remaining blossoms, this has proposal written all over it Kanaloa: Well it is an proposal of sorts. But you're still engaged to the other, Taehyung if I remember correctly, so no I was not about to propose marriage. Speaking of, have you heard from him yet? Elucea: No he still hasn't answered any of my messages or answered my calls. One time his phone answered, maybe it was in his pocket, and the only thing I could hear sounded like muffled screaming like he was watching a horror movie. Sounded like someone was trying to say something through a gag maybe and then the line went dead. He and I have watched a few scary movies together and it didn't sound like anything I'd ever watched with him before, not that it matters anyway.

Elucea retreats into herself for a moment, eyes glazed over wondering if something may have happened to Taehyung and those sounds were coming from him and she was meant to hear them. Taehyung had once told her he could feel her emotions through the bond, though muted because she hadn't accepted it fully yet. Would the Bond, no matter how tenuous, tell her if something horrible was happening to him at this moment? Would it tell her if he was dead? She accepted him and what they were together but hadn't fully accepted being tied to just one man, she had far too much love to give and wanted to feel the extra love and affection she was denied throughout her childhood. This she had surmised was part of the reason she was Poly, and also why she had accepted the advances of an adult as a teenager. Kana clearing his throat brought her back to the present. He knew where she went when she became distant, even if only for a moment, and tried not to pull her back before she was ready. But this was important so he felt he had to bring her back to this present moment and out of the pit of worry that so often tried to claim her.

Elucea: So . . . if you're not proposing marriage, what are you proposing? Kanaloa pulls out a small key trying to hand it to her Kanaloa: I would like for you to move in with me, into my apartment in Evergreen Harbor. Elucea: I'm sorry Kana I can't my fur babies Kanaloa: Zuma and Whisper might enjoy it out there. I can take them for a jog with me every morning, there's a new park we can take them to to make some furry friends, maybe you could quit your job and stay home for a while? I know you got the island is thriving notification so that means you're done fixing it right? I don't know how I feel being around cats but I'm sure I'd grow to love them. Elucea: I appreciate the offer Kana I do but forcing all of us into a tiny apartment might not be the best idea. Kelly and Frankie are constantly going at it but at least at home they have the whole island to get away from each other. Look, how about this, here's the spare key to my place. I'm not asking you to move in but for now you can come and go as you please and we can give living together a trial run this way. Kanaloa: Ok El I can compromise. Anything for you.

Beginning|Previous|Next

[blackgoldsworthys]

TW: Discussions of Child Abuse

Here is a written version of my video review of When Doves Cry, the season two premiere of Degrassi: The Next Generation that introduces Craig Manning to the main cast!

Opener: The Degrassi showrunners looked at season one and saw that it wasn’t spicy enough. The cast too small, the issues too…small scale. When you have a show geared towards teenagers, you gotta shake things up so thus a new character was added. This character’s introduction was heavy, dramatic and started the series precedent of having a mysterious, moody artistic boy with a dark past. While he would go on to be one of the most controversial main characters of all time due to his very messy romantic relationships on the show, there’s no doubt that Degrassi wouldn’t be as memorable without his impact.

Craig Manning, welcome to the show.

Intro: Hello Degrassians, I’m Mari and I talk all things Degrassi. In today’s episode, I’m discussing the iconic premise of The Next Generation’s season two, When Doves Cry, which aired as a two-parter in Canada from September 29th-, 2002 and in the US on October 7th, 2002.

Plot Summary: It’s the beginning of a new school year at Degrassi with the class of 2006 entering into grade nine and the Class of 2007 entering into grade eight. Due to the expansion of the school, middle school and high school students have to occupy the same building which is already a controversial decision among the student body.

Newcomer Craig Manning immediately catches the eye of certain female characters but for now, he’s not focused on girls. As the older brother of Joey Jeremiah’s young daughter Angela, he wants to see his little sister but there’s one obstacle in his path: his abusive father Albert. When he was little, his late mother Julia divorced Albert and married Joey, conceiving Angie. Even though she tragically passed away before the events of the show, Albert is still very bitter that she left him at all and cruelly forbids Craig from seeing his little sister, punishing him violently if he disobeys him. Joey doesn’t like the idea of the siblings not seeing each other as a stepfather, but because he’s unaware of the abuse going on at first, has no choice but to respect Albert’s decision. Emma, as Angie’s babysitter and a childhood friend of Craig gets herself involved in the situation, and so does Sean who Craig befriends on the first day of school.

Despite the dangers, Craig refuses to stop seeing Angela and in his desperation, tries to get them to run away together. When this doesn’t work, he spirals and nearly commits suicide on a train while hanging out with Sean. He then disappears so his father doesn’t find him and inevitably beats him harder than usual. Sean and Emma convince Joey to save Craig from this horrible situation and by the end of Part 2, Joey allows Craig to move in with him and Angie.

In the side plot, JT is determined to start the school year by dating the hottest girl he can find and the lucky girl on the top of his list is the queen bee of the school, Paige. Unfortunately for him, Paige does not see herself as lucky to be the object of his affections and bluntly turns him down. For fun, Spinner and Hazel offer Paige twenty bucks to go on a date with JT, and she reluctantly accepts. They have fun on their date until her friends expose her and JT gets his feelings hurt. They make up the next day but Paige is still very adamant on not being interested in JT romantically.

Whose storyline did you prefer?

Without a single doubt and second thought, Craig’s. I’m being 100% percent serious when I say that Jake Epstein in his debut performance as Craig Manning, immediately marked him as the best actor of his generation to me. From beginning to end, Craig has my attention despite being a newcomer. I don’t care about what any of the other characters have going on in this two parter because I’m more interested in what this kid has going on with his father even though I barely know a thing about him. I’m rooting for this kid to be closer with his little sister despite the odds, I’m crying for this kid having to suffer under his abusive father and I desperately want him to escape, and that’s because of Jake Epstein’s powerful acting. While what Emma went through in Mother and Child Reunion was no lighthearted subject matter itself, what Craig went through in his first episode really hits a person in their gut because we actually have to watch him get brutalized by an adult, and he’s obviously not mentally well for it. The introduction of Craig, a boy with a dead mother and an abusive father, shapes the series into the dark, raw storytelling that keeps us on the edge of our seats every episode to see what happens next.

In contrast, J.T.’s failed attempt at Paige is harder to take seriously. The plot is obviously just there as a comedic break from the heavy main plot and it can feel irrelevant towards viewers who want to know what happens next with Craig and his dad. However, it is cute to see the budding friendship between JT and Paige. Paige is still a ruthless alpha bitch at this stage in her character development but even she can’t help herself from developing a soft spot for J.T., who is endearing because of his silliness.

What are your favorite scenes from this episode? Craig bonding with Sean, who not only later saves him from suicide in the train scene but works with his ex to save Craig from his father too. Their first meeting almost started off poorly but they quickly end up becoming friends because of how similar they are. Sean sees a boy who has a dark past with his family like he does and it triggers his sensitive side. He still has attitude problems because that’s just how Sean is as a person but we get reminded why Emma fell for him: underneath all that roughness is a sweetheart. Craig and Sean’s dynamic is a favorite of mine on rewatches.

There’s also the scene where Joey faces the truth of what’s going on with Craig due to Emma, Sean, and Angie’s efforts. It’s not brought up in this show, but anyone who’s watched Degrassi Junior High knows that this isn’t the first time Joey had to save a kid from an abusive environment. When he was their age, he befriended Rick Munro, who was also getting abused by his father. After witnessing one particularly brutal moment between Rick and his dad, he confessed to Children’s Aid about what he saw and Rick ended up living with his older brother. There’s no doubt that this moment was on Joey’s mind fifteen years later when he made the decision to take Craig in at the end of the episode, especially when one of the kids urging him to save Craig is Sean who is quite similar to Rick himself. Joey was seeing a ghost from his childhood. He had been wary of letting Craig in him and Angie’s lives, he wants to mind his business as the distant stepfather, but when his little girl in her innocence tells him the awful reality of the situation, he has no choice but to step in. It’s a harrowing scene but it’s necessary.

Favorite quotes? “Me... in an infinite universe... on an insignificant planet... one of six billion inhabitants, big deal. I mean honestly, if I were to say that if I were to disappear, who'd care? What would it matter? Uh... a subatomic blip in the temporal fabric of creation. So there you have it, Craig Manning.”

“Did that thing just wink at me?”

Overall opinions? When Doves Cry is another incredible season opener from The Next Generation and I actually do prefer it a little more than Mother and Child Reunion because I’m biased towards Craig. It sets the tone for season two, a darker and deeper season that for now still keeps the after school special tone that season one has. It’s hard to watch but it’s iconic so it gets a platinum rating from me. It’s one of my favorite Degrassi episodes.

Outro: Well Degrassians, that was my review of When Doves Cry, stay tuned for my next review of Girls Just Want To Have Fun.

[friendfromdsmp]

Are there Adrien Salt takes that you disagree with?

I definitely think that Adrien gets unnecessary hate as well as unnecessary praise. One thing that disappoints me is how many people see a lot of Adrien’s actions as malicious due to his arguably abusive behaviours concerning his love for Ladybug

You can partake in abusive behaviours without malicious intent. You can form a pattern of abuse without malicious intent. And while good intentions don’t justify or excuse the abuse, it does help to get to the root of the problem. In Adrien’s case, it seems to be a matter of not having been provided healthy outlets for his emotions, emotional identification and regulation or any positive examples or role models to lead by example

Before the show began, Adrien only had a few people in his life; his father, the cold and distant man who secretly had full control of Adrien’s free will and isolated him and all but forced him to work for his brand and do an ungodly amount of extracurriculars; Nathalie, the assistant who seems to have shown Adrien lightly more care and gentle encouragement but that’s really grown in the past few months more than anything; the bodyguard who’s chill and would keep a secret but isn’t exactly a fountain of advice, at best he’s a great option for venting; a mother who we know nothing about but judging by what we know in-universe there was most likely nothing too much better than Nathalie or Gabriel in her; and Chloé, the best friend that was clearly a horrible influence that Adrien tolerated more than liked but clung to all the same for being his only friend

All of this absolutely screams of an unhealthy social development in his upbringing. And when we see how Chloé and Gabriel both throw tantrums like toddlers whenever they don’t get their way or they need to play a part to manipulate others, it’s no wonder that Adrien has a tendency to lash out when his emotions get volatile. It’s not healthy or acceptable, but it’s understandable

Adrien also seems to have developed a bit of a codependency issue of sorts when it comes to Ladybug; if she’s not there, he doesn’t function, but when she’s present he constantly shows off and tries to win her over. This is another factor of his neglectful upbringing; he’s strongly motivated by praise and has a high reward drive, but when there’s no attention to be gained, positive or negative, he sees no point. And with Ladybug being the first person to actually return that emotional connection with him in a genuine and friendly way, he seems to latch onto her to continue supplying him with that positive emotional input and manage his emotions. Again, none of this is healthy or acceptable behaviour, but it’s understandable why he’d get to this point; it’s a classic case of a neglected child acting out for attention, whether positive or negative, because it’s better than feeling totally invisible

Adrien needs therapy, is the bottom line here. He’s developed horrible coping mechanisms or just straight-up lacks them due to a traumatic and neglectful childhood. I don’t think he’s always morally well-intentioned, but I think a lot of his abusive acts, while definitely not excusable, aren’t done out of any kind of ill-intent. They’re mostly done out of ignorance of how to appropriately express or vent his emotions, which results in him lashing out in harmful ways or completely shutting down on both himself and others. Both are harmful, but not inherently malicious. What Adrien needs to do is learn emotional regulation, something that everyone learns as they grow. Hell, it’s something many adults still struggle with, so I won’t blame a teenage boy for not having it down pat. But that doesn’t absolve him of responsibility to work on himself and to make amends for his past behaviours

[icarusredwings]

Dhawan!Master:

(Slightly biased)

Do I have to put a trigger warning for a discussion of toxic relationships?? I mean.. this IS Thoschei... So I dont think so but just incase-

Tw: Emotional munipulation/abuse (?)

(And kidnapping- duh)

9 and dhawan wouldn't get along JUST enough to be a DISASTER together. And what I mean by this is that he would hate him so much but also roll his eyes and say something heavily childish every time he claimed to be evil or horrible because while 9 would think he's annoying as shit, he'd also be annoying as shit. 9 is very unhealed, and the bloke is about as mature as a super genius 17 year old with anger issues, so their arguemnts would sound more like two teenage boys.

This also being said, dhawan would LOVE tormenting 9. He wants to be noticed, even if that means being punched in the face so 9 would be perfect. All he would have to do is say something like;

"Big ears cry baby says wot?"

"Wot!?"

"Ha!! Got you!"

"Just wait until I get my hands on you -!"

"😏 Now, now, dear doctor, take me out for dinner first!"

"Oh, you wish 🙄"

And he would get all the attention he'd want. Dude doesn't know when to shut up, and someone might have to kiss him to make him stop yapping.

Theres two ways 10 is going to go.

He's either going to fix him, or he's going to make him WORSE. There is no in-between. 10 is not strict enough to handle the discipline and routine that dhawan needs. Dhawan could bite a kid at the park, and 10 would go. "Aww buddy, we talked about this!! But im 83% sure that those big wet puppy eyes could convince him to become good. Just a little bit. Enough to be able to take him to Burger King and only eat food, not people kind of good. He's still gonna growl and bite, tho.... maybe 10 should muzzle him..

Play fighting except this man wants you to full fist him in the face while sparring.

11 is just as much crackhead energy as he is and I think this would scare him at first until he realizes that someone finally can keep up and match his freak enough to spend 12 hours striaght in a bouncy castle while talking about different subcultural issues on various planets... that is.. until dhawan pops it or feels the need to do something really evil and just cages him because he doesn't want him to be friends with anyone else.

Obviously, dhawans obsessed with 11. Playing is a HUGE part of their relationship (cat and mouse/tag/hide and seek/super heros/cops and robbers/pirates specifically). He found his childhood best friend again 💕(even if he is a little stupid now). He feels like he's missed him for so long, and now that he has him again? Good luck prying him from his cold, dead hands.

He even steals his fez, but he draws the line at fish fingers and custard.

"Dude.. That's just gross.."

"It's good!!"

"It's not. It's really - really not."

(I dont know why, but I keep feeling like 11 gets kidnapped. Maybe it's because he was sitting in handcuffs smiling and waiting for his wife to rescue him. Which does inevitably happen.)

(Why is he so awkward? Oh, that's right because the guy has 0 people skills, and honestly, idk how he even managed to mask so long to get voted in as PM or if that was what Lucy was for)

12 is extremely annoyed, but that's okay because any attention to dhawan is good attention. I can see 12 walking away and him following him STILL talking and teasing him, trying to impress him and one up him in any way, calling him "Old man" like he's his grandpa or something weird. I'm not entirely certain that 12 has the patience to fix him. I dont think he makes him worse, though? I imagine dhawan is about to do something really stupid and 12 shout at him;

"What are you doing!? Get down from there, you idiot, you'll hurt yourself!"

"Who let grandpa out the home?"

"What!!?? 🤨 WERE THE SAME AGE"

"Nu uh"

"What do you mean nu uh!?"

Either that OR

They're jumping out windows TOGETHER.

No in between.

Look at this face of disbelief. "I can't believe you just ignored me. God what a cunt" Like babes, you got a new face now, give it a bit, mkay? Her Time Lord sensors have been broken from being around River for 20+ years. You'll get her, and she'll be so shocked, I promise honey <3

Take everything domestic from spydoc, 10s playfulness and understanding and shove it together and BAM you have 14 and spy which consists of 14 laying down strict rules and routines (much how 13 does for missy) and because of these rules, he therefore gets rewards as well. Because of the fact 14 is settling and most of the people in the house work full-time jobs, it means he will have his full attention. No, unless its a very good day 14 will not be in the bouncy castle but he will infact cuddle in bed, watch movie marathons, tell him about therapy, take him to get galactic ice cream, take him on walks, and graciously accept acts of service like tea and sandwitches.

Now, I don't think this is perfect, there is times when spy is still naughty and gets purposly ignored (not the healthiest communication, but it works).

Dhawan blew up the microwave for fun? Suddenly, the garden outside needs tending, and 14 is busy for the next 2 hours. Dhawan is not allowed in the garden. It's one of the rules. He's told to replace the microwave. If he does, when the 2 hours is up, they'll watch a movie and talk about why he blew it up. If not? He's ignoring him until he does.

Because dhawan just wants to be SEEN. He wants to be praised. He wants to be noticed and valided. He wants the Doctor to acknowledge hes on the same level as him, if not higher. That he IS capable of stuff then just party tricks and that he IS special, important and needed.

Why? Because this is how it's always been. Doc has always been the one to get the attention of the adults and get the special praise despite being expelled, failed his TARDIS test, had no friends and was late for exams, AND murdered 3 kids. He wants the Doctor to acknowledge that he is his equal (even though technically he has more degrees than the Doctor and is actually licensed)

Bonus points if the rewards scream puppy play like going to the park or petting, because that's kind of what's happening. He's being trained. It's a very conditional and toxic relationship, but eventually, it works because soon enough, he's conditioned to earthly social rules, that exploding microwaves while jumping up and down and clapping is not acceptable behavior.

The whole trope is very kinky 'pet' vibes, except the "pet" is just an autistic coded super bored universal genuis who craves affection and chaos at the same time so yes Donna, You gotta knock or else you're going to see some things.

Lemme know if im onto something here because I was kinda nervous to say that last part and I don't know if it's just me or if after a couple of months these two would actually work out pretty decently.

It would turn into dhawan giggling because he left a very obvious banana peel on the floor, and 14 can't help but smile, roll his eyes and starts laughing too because dude- hes cute. He swears he's evil, but he's just adorable.

(And the Doctor knows adorable when he sees it, he's met Rose Tyler)

Hand flaps. Thats all.

I WOULD say 15 could fix him because 15 is energetic and is kinda stable, but then again... the man failed at fixing himself so likkkeee.... Would they kiss? Most definitely. Would dhawan become a love sick obsessive stalker? What? Like he isn't already?? (Yes) Would 15 make him worse? Yes. Do I care? No. #let them kiss

*Clamps a metal braclet onto his wrist*

"Uhh babes, what are you doing?😅"

"Just a lil tracker so I know where you are at all times dear nothing to worry about teheehe 💞"

"..... I fear I have made a mistake..... FIREBALL!"

"Awww what is that our safe word?"

"No. Its her cue."

"Whos cue?"

*Ruby comes in with a flamethrower*

Ruby, who has learned some references from Rouge: I DIDN'T ASK HOW BIG THE ROOM WAS I SAID CAST FIREBALL!!

And that is bassically Doctor Who folks.

Regarding my "Switching up the masters and their respective doctors" post.

How I think Nu who Masters would react to being placed with Nu who Doctors that aren't theirs.

(A thread)

(I would include classic, but I couldn't bare the idea of separating 3 from delgado. They're a bonded pair 🥺 This is all in good fun <and over exagerated>, but I can't promise anyone didn't get hurt during this experiment. Someone most DEFINITELY got hurt. It was me. Im in the hospital as we speak.)

Notes: Technecally, since 9 did *meet* a master in the audios but never actually got one, him and 11 are in for a real suprise.

Going in order! Feel free to comment on what you think!

[honey-boyyoongi]

Pairing ➪ Reader x Yoongi| Part 47//??

Word count ➪ 847

Warnings ➪ it’s not beta-ed; any mistakes are mine; mentions of possible past child neglect; mentions of possible child abuse; mentions of anxiety; mentions of possible mental health issues; mentions of possible manipulation; if it doesn’t make sense im sorry:); if your named is crossed out its because I couldn’t tag you;

Summary ➪ Min Yoongi, is a simple man. He likes his coffee black and iced, he enjoys his job, and he loves his baby girl. But what happens when the new neighbor, quite literally, drops into his life?

A/n: heyyyyy besties~~~ :)))))))))) yall have been waiting for this!! As always feedback is appreciated and if you want to be added to the tag list please let me know 💕

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Minji was riddled with anxiety. She decided to leave a day early, wanting some time to herself to think. In the past weeks she’s learned every little thing about the child. Mrs. Min sent pictures of the child from a year old forward. She wanted to ask for pictures of her as an infant, but felt like she was overstepping.

A lot in the city was different; the little restaurant her and Yoongi frequented was now being run by the owners daughter, her favorite bookstore was now a cosmetics shop, the shady apartment building she used to live in with Mina was now repainted and renovated. Just as things changed some stayed the same; the uncle that sold ice cream at the park is still going strong; her favorite market still sells the brown sugar pancakes she loves, and her parents house still looks exactly the same way it did when she left it 8 years ago. The door is still that ugly shade of brown she’s detested since childhood, and the peach tree her brother had begged for as children is still left neglected. It’s all horribly nostalgic.

The fights, the anxiety, the grief; it was all coming back. She would never dare say it out loud, but she heavily resented her parents, almost bordering on hate. The lack of attention stopped bothering her in her teenage years, she had Jisung, and Minji was content with that. She had adapted to keeping herself hidden, always going with the status quo her parents had enforced. The less attention she received, the less she had to interact with her parents. Jisung always took the brunt of it all; he had expectations that burdened him from birth. Minji still remembers the last time she saw her brother, he was less tense, almost at peace. She likes to remember him that way; happy, sitting under his peach tree.

Minji tries to distract herself, she goes into town to get necessities. Mrs. Min had invited her to stay at her home, ‘You’re going to need all the help you can get once you get Haneul’, she had said. Minji, while appreciative, refused. She had booked a hotel, needing a neutral space to keep herself grounded. Bora had kept insisting, but she never budged.

Minji was walking the isles when she sees, what she at first assumes, a mother and daughter playfully bickering. Minji wondered, what if? What if she had stayed? Would her and the child be that loving? Would she love that child like this mother loved her daughter? Drowned in her thoughts she can faintly hear them.

“Are you sure you want that soup for dinner,” the mother asked.

“Yes,” the toddler exclaimed.

“I thought you didn’t like that one honey.”

“Bu-bu- you and-and papa like it. I have chicken, so is okay,” the child mumbled. Minji faintly smiled under her mask, amused at the toddler’s logic. It was a sweet moment she hoped to have one day.

She passes by them, listening to the toddler who’s eagerly trying to show her mother which vegetables are the absolute best for their meal. Minji is still fighting with herself when she sees him. Yoongi still looks as handsome as ever; his hair had grown out even longer, he had subtle smile lines decorating the sides of his mouth, very subtle silver hair at the very front of his part. His eyes seemed exhausted, his fingers showed mild signs of his awful picking habit, but underneath all of that she still saw the same 24 year old Yoongi that had showed up to her and Mina’s place. He wasn’t wearing the ripped jeans she associated with him, now he was dressed in a full suit and tie, everything looking expensive down to the cuff links, his attention stolen by the toddler exclaiming out, “Papa! Look!” Yoongi turns towards the child, completely smitten.

The child motions him forward, showing off the vegetables she had chosen, “Look, Bee said I pick. Papa do you like?”

Yoongi nods approvingly, “You did such a good job Hani.”

Minji quickly left. She walked, and walked, and walked. Until she couldn’t anymore. She doesn’t remember getting back to her hotel, or getting into bed. She tries to avoid remembering her dreams. They ring mockingly in her ears, ‘The child is happy, without you. The love of your life is happy, without you. This person is better than you. Your child loves her. The love of your life loves her. She stole your child. She stole the love of your life.’

On her way to the elder Mins’ home, she wondered if she could get what she lost back. Maybe she and Yoongi could try again, for the sake of their child of course. Maybe she could move back to this city, stay with the Mins until they found a home to raise their daughter. The ideas progressively started to sound like Mrs. -, no, like mom guiding her along. Mother Min would help her get her happiness back, and she was ready to claim what was rightfully hers.

Tag List: @unicornbabylover @halesandy @supernoonanyc @aianloveseven @hannahdinse8 @lyndseygoregasmxo @aunoiire @brbkpop @nochuwastaken @tinyoonsblog @borahae-reads @jinscharms @phenomenalgirl9 @yoongiigolden @girlwithluv0613 @yaboiithewreck @mint--yoongs @ysljoon @hyunjingin @yu-justme @damn-u-min-yoongi @lovelytaes-blog @so-da-1 @cruelsummer-s @seolaquotes @lovelgirl22 @dreamamubarak @leanimal90 @atinymonbebestay @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @jaiuneamesolitaiire

Fic Masterlist

[lexi-the-twilight-dragon]

So I just went marshmallow toasting for the first time since pre-pandemic, and now I feel like writing KH marshmallow headcanons. Enjoy.

(Also, I'm writing these with the assumption Sora and Strelitzia return to the KH universe at some point)

Sora, Kairi and Riku are the ones hosting the bonfire. They used to go to bonfires with their parents as kids, so it's nice to reconnect with a (mostly) untroubled childhood after All The Bullshit(tm) of the past few years

Kairi's adopted mother makes homemade marshmallows, but there are gonna be a LOT of people, so she takes commercial ones. She does however have a small container of homemade ones that there is a very slim chance she'll share

Riku does most of the bonfire-building. It gives him a few flashbacks which in turn give him a lot to reflect on. This boy overthinks a lot and he needs a hug

Sora tries to start the bonfire with Fira. This is not a good idea

Terra and Aqua are subsequently on the "if this all goes horribly wrong, we can put out the fire" squad

Donald insists he is also part of that squad, but no one pays him any mind, and he performs no duties to the effect

Sora also sits way too close to the fire; his marshmallow isn't the only thing getting lightly toasted

Terra and Aqua end up wearing half their armour just so their clothes don't catch fire

Ventus has to toast with one hand and hold Chirithy in the other. Eventually, he just holds Chirithy in both hands and Chirithy toasts the marshmallows for both of them

Roxas and Xion literally have four years of life experience between them, they have NEVER toasted marshmallows before. Isa hasn't since he was a teenager in RG. Lea used to use his fire magic while in the Organization, but it wasn't nearly the same, so he stopped

Roxas accidentally sets his marshmallow on fire, and tries not to be visibly upset as it melts into the coals

Lea purposefully sets his marshmallow on fire, and barely manages to rescue it from melting into the coals before eating the charred remains

Isa gets his marshmallow perfectly toasted first try, and gives it to Roxas

Xion tries to copy Isa and also sets her marshmallow on fire. Isa gives her one too

Mickey tries to be a good instructor on the best marshmallow toasting, but to little avail

Namine is NOT appropriately dressed for this AT ALL. Like girl, I know the white dress is your thing, but just because there's a FIRE doesn't mean it isn't COLD. She ends up with someone's coat soon enough, and is absolutely swamped in it

The RG guys have been meaning to take Ienzo camping since they adopted him, but never got the chance. They are ABSOLUTELY making up for it now

Ienzo has to remind them the while yes, he's never done this before, he IS in his twenties and a scientist to boot; he can figure out how to toast a marshmallow on his own

Ansem then spends the rest of the night discussing Dad-of-a-Young-Adult Feels with Goofy

(Let Max out of the basement, Disney)

Even's marshmallow stick is like 2m long; this man is going NOWHERE NEAR the fire, but he still wants his marshmallow toasted, dagnabit

Aeleus, the team dad (change my mind), teaches all the kids to make s'mores. He is equally encouraging whether you can make one better than he can or can barely hold yours together

Dilan is put in charge of raking the coals, but gets too enthusiastic about it to the point it's intolerable to be near them for a few minutes

Hayner is the one that starts the spooky stories

Pence has the most spooky stories

Olette acts spooked even though she's heard them all before

Elrena has to be reminded that there's a difference between spooky and gruesome

Lauriam is simultaneously proud, a little sad, and concerned that Strelitzia doesn't have to turn to him for comfort through the spooky stories

Demyx provides sound effects to the spooky stories, which actually make them spookier. When they get too spooky and they have to stop, he has a whole repertoire of campfire songs to bring up the mood. They don't last long either, but longer than anyone expected

[boldlyvoid]

Only Time Will Tell | Part 2

18+

Summary: Fifteen years after a horrible breakup, Y/N and spencer figure out that time can heal almost everything.

Content Warnings: angst, parental death, mentions of cancer and suicide. Bi reader, bi spencer, recounting childhood relationships, slight angst, spencer's headaches, abusive relationships (not spencer and reader) blood tests, spencer's addiction issues, getting together, smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, switch spencer, sub reader, smut (not super graphic)

Word Count: 6.5K

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

When she wakes up she’s incredibly confused. She stares up at the bumpy stucco ceiling and Spencer laying on her chest and it feels like she’s gone back in time. He’s so snuggled into her, but her body is different than when she was 15, a lot different. He has a handful of one boob and his face on the other and she just shakes her head at the sight.

She kisses his forehead and strokes his hair and she lets it happen, because this is how she’s wanted to wake up every single day for the past 15 years. She’s spent just as long away from him as she’s spent loving him and she never realized how much it would hurt to think about it when she got him back.

She expected all the pain to go away, and while she’s a doctor and she knows way too much about the human brain, she still expected him to make her instantly happy. It wasn’t going to happen like that. Yes the hormones and endorphins were going to help, hugs and kisses and cuddles, sleeping beside him and hopefully sex… all those would contribute to making her feel happy, but at the end of the day her depression was always going to sit in the corner and attack when she was the most vulnerable.

Even with her last crush, it was good until she was alone. She’d cuddle with her all night with her lips pressed to her shoulder, wishing more than anything that she could feel that good forever… and it faded away when she realized she’d never have her. Unlike how she feels with Spencer right now.

He starts to wake up, also confused she guesses because he pulls away and sits right up with wide eyes and a horrified look on his face that just makes her laugh. “It’s fine, lay back down,” she pulls him back in and he settles, but the hand that was on her boob is now on her arm and he doesn’t say a word.

“How was your sleep?” She eventually asks, it’s the slightest whisper as she runs her fingers over his back the way he liked when he was younger.

“Really good,” he whispers back, “I haven’t slept this long in probably 15 years.”

“That makes one of us,” she smirks, “I sleep so much, it’s never refreshing but I sleep a lot.”

“I have really bad headaches, and no one can give me answers for them, I want to sleep but normally I can't.”

“What do you mean no one has answers?” She feels a little defensive, “have you had a brain scan or done blood work?”

“I’ve done it all,” he sighs, and she lifts him off of her.

“Do you have them here? Can I look?” She starts to worry for him, wanting to see everything she can and help him.

“Yeah,” he gets out of bed and rummages through his things, pulling out a few manila folders.

She grabs her phone and turns the flash on, laying it face down on the bed and shining up towards the ceiling, she takes out his MRI, a CT scan and holds them over the light one by one. “Your gray matter is so thick…”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“You’re a genius, tell me what gray matter does,” she teases, remembering how she used to use him as a google before Google was even invented.

“It's found throughout the central nervous system and controls movement, memory and emotions…”

“You’re a genius, I’ve always wondered how it would look,” she is fascinated with these normally, but Spencer’s is her favourite so far. “Your brain looks good, there’s nothing alarming, nothing out of the ordinary, but that doesn’t mean it’s all working right.”

He just hums along, she places them all back in their folders and opens his folder of paperwork, reading all his blog tests, “this is just basic stuff?”

He nods, “they won't test anything without reason.”

“Come to my lab? I’ll run every test in the book, you’re technically a schizophrenia research candidate so no one will care.”

“Really?” He looks almost excited, “I can take the morning off?”

“Okay,” she smiles, “let’s get ready then.”

She makes a phone call in Spencer’s kitchen, he’s still in the shower but Y/N’s completely dressed and ready for the day with the little supplies she brought in her bag. But she needs help.

“What?” The man answers first.

“It’s just me, put her on.”

“I’ve got this—Hello,” her best friend snatches the phone from him and answers with a smile she can hear, “how are you, bestie?”

“Hi Maeve,” she whispers with a smile.

“Why are we whispering?” She teases, “are you at someone’s house?”

“Yes,” she smiles, “I’m at Spencer’s.”

“No fucking way…” she whispers, “why didn’t you call me after your coffee date on Tuesday? I was so excited to hear about it.”

“I tried, but Bobby picked up and said you weren’t available,” she replied with a deep sigh, not hiding the fact that she hates Maeve’s fiancé.

“Oh,” she sounds ashamed and it makes Y/N feel bad for her, “well, how’d it go?”

“Good, we had a very PG13 sleep over the way we used to, It was nice waking up with him again, but I’m taking him into work today to do some blood work, I was wondering if I could send you some of his results? He’s getting headaches that he says are pretty debilitating?”

“Hmm, I’m free this morning once Bobby leaves for work, has he had any prior tests? I can come by and meet my best friend's best friend?” Maeve all but begs, that same pleading tone in her voice that Y/N loves.

“Of course, I’d never turn down a visit from you, I’ve missed you a lot,” she smiles at the floor, “and you’re really going to like Spencer.”

“I’m sure I will, do you think everything’s going to work out between you two?”

“I’m not sure yet,” her smile fades at the admission, “I don’t want to get my hopes up, but given the fact he texted me worried for my well-being and he’s been so adamant about hanging out… I’d like to say things are going back to normal.”

“Awe,” she swoons, “I love stories like this, you know that. I’m so glad you’re finally talking to him again, I thought I was going to have to bring you into my marriage, sister-wife style, in order to make you happier.”

“You could still leave Bobby for me,” she teases. “If this doesn’t work out, I still need a wife?” She teases and Maeve laughs and it makes her smile wide and toothy.

“Okay, I’ll think about it,” she whispers, “I’ll see you at work? In like an hour?”

“Do you want a coffee? We’re probably going to stop on the way,” Y/N offers, finally looking up from the pattern in the kitchen tile to see Spencer standing in the doorway.

“Just my usual,” she can hear Maeve’s smile, “but I’ll see you then, bye, love you.”

“Love you too,” she hangs up and stutters as she looks at Spencer, “I didn’t hear the water turn off?”

He’s standing there in a dark purple towel, one around his waist and one tightly wrapping his hair, he looks silly but she loves it. “Who was that?”

“My best friend,” she presses her lips together awkwardly, “she’s a geneticist, and if you have a deficiency causing these headaches she’s the best one to figure it out.”

“Thank you for caring this much,” it sounds so sad, she can tell he’s not used to this kind of effort being put in for him anymore.

“I’m very used to protecting you, it’s not something I can drop, even after fifteen years,” she reminds him, “I hate to think that you’ve had to do it alone for so long.”

“It’s been hard,” he agrees. “How is this going to work?”

“What?”

“Being best friends? Because as much as everyone on my team says they’re my best friend, I don’t feel close enough to anyone to give them that title anymore, not since I stopped talking to you,” it’s a lot to take in at a quarter to 8 in the morning.

Her eyes just go wide and she feels so bad for him, but at the same time, he did that to himself. He could have reached out, he could have stayed. There are lots of things he could do, and now the only thing she wants to do is let it go.

“Maeve means a lot to me, you’ll like her,” she steps into his space and pokes his wet chest, “she’s the only woman in her field, I’m the only woman in mine, we met at a talk a few years back and she’s been my person for so long.”

“Why couldn’t she go to get the time capsule with you?”

“She can’t leave the state,” Y/N admits, “she has a stalker and she won't tell me much, she doesn’t want me involved, she’s a little scared. And Bobby won't even let her answer the phone anymore, she’s why I reached out. She believes in fairytales and happy endings and after everything I’ve told her she said this love story has all the makings of a romantic comedy.”

Spencer laughs, “she’s not wrong.”

“She’s always going to be my best friend, but I can have two,” Y/N suggests, looking up at him and raising a brow.

“I don’t mind sharing,” he whispers.

It looks like he wants to kiss her and she desperately wants to lean in and let him, but he backs up. “I’m just going to change and then I’ll meet you back out here.”

“Yeah, course,” she lets him walk away and her heartbeat is audible in her ears.

She’ll always love Spencer, and yet a part of her wonders what would’ve happened if she had actually asked Maeve out that week before she met Bobby. Then she’d be able to go to the cops about the stalker, then she’d keep her safe all the time, and then again maybe she wouldn’t be here with Spencer trying to make it work if she was with Maeve.

It’s a lot to deal with at 8 in the morning.

She walks down to the building's garage with Spencer, he’s all dressed and ready for the day and he looks great. He dresses better than when he was a teenager, everything matches, it’s pressed and clean and he honestly could walk the runway like this.

And then she sees it.

“You still have it?”

“Shit,” Spencer whispers, “we can take the subway or a cab or something if this is triggering at all?”

“No,” she assures him, “I’m not triggered, just shocked that Amy still runs?”

“I’m an engineer, remember? I know how to keep her going.”

She runs her hand along with the blue paint of Diana’s old Volvo Amazon, who they appropriately named Amy when they were kids. She looks in at the backseat, the tear in the seat is still there from when the button on her jeans got stuck, the light in the radio is still burned out, unable to tell the time. The seats are just as comfortable, she turns on just as loud as before, and she never thought she’d say she missed the smell.

They stop at a coffee shop by the university, Spencer orders first and then it’s up to her, “can I get an iced coffee and—“

“A white hot chocolate with a blueberry tea bag in it? Absolutely,” the barista smiles, “anything else today, Y/N?”

“Not today, Katie,” she smiles, taking out the normal amount and a decent tip, “how’s school going?”

“Good, thank you for that study guide, I got a 92 on my last Bio test,” she’s unbelievably giddy and it makes Y/N’s day.

“that’s amazing,” Y/N makes the most basic small talk before joining Spencer by the counter.

“How do you know everyone?” Spencer whispers and nudges her shoulder with his own.

“I talk to people,” she nudges him back, “you’d be amazed by what happens when you let people in.”

Spencer hums, they watch Katie make their drinks carefully and quickly, putting them in a tray and handing them to Y/N with a smile. “Have a wonderful day.”

“You too!” Y/N calls back and waits for Spencer to get the door for them.

And then he opens the passenger door for her too. “So, I have to ask…” Spencer says as they finally get back in the car. He places his coffee in the cup holder, “were you and Maeve together at some point?”

“No…”

“Oh,” he drops it when he realizes it’s not a question she wants to be asked.

The rest of the drive is quiet, she sips her coffee and looks out the window and he taps the steering wheel the way he always used to do. “Have you dated anyone in the last 15 years?”

“Not really,” he shrugs, “I have been on dates but nothing’s really worked out.”

“Hmm,” she says before she drops it.

Pulling into her work, he parks in her spot and the two of them get out and begin their walk to the elevators and then he asks another question.

“So you haven’t dated or been with anyone since we broke up?” He looks a little shocked.

“Not really,” she shakes her head, “I don’t feel the need to? I’m not lonely, I’m busy.”

“Oh.”

The elevator dings and she walks out first, through the main hall and towards the lab. She puts on her coat and hands Spencer a blank one, “these are my Ph.D. candidates.”

Inside she has 4 students all dressed up and doing their work and Spencer waves awkwardly as they look up at him. “Good morning guys.”

“Morning doctor,” they reply in unison.

“My friend Spencer here has a genetic predisposition for schizophrenia so I’m just going to run the basic tests but he’s not going to be in any of the trials.”

“Sounds good,” one of them smiles.

“We’ll be in here if you need me,” she points at her office and Spencer follows her inside. “Oh, and Maeve is coming in as well, tell her to come right in.”

“Why? How many people have you slept with?” She suddenly closes the door, resuming their conversation immediately.

“Including you,” he does the calculations on his fingers, letting out a deep breath he was keeping in. “Elle, Ethan, and a handful of one-night stands…”

“That’s not too bad,” she shrugs and then she can’t help but laugh, “but Ethan? Really?”

Spencer nods with a smirk, “I told you I would one day.”

She laughs, remembering how much they hated each other. Ethan was a pain in the ass, flirting with both of them to piss the other off, especially when they were all on opposite mathlete teams… but Spencer did have a crush and she was secure enough in their relationship back then to just laugh it off, like she is now.

“How did it even happen?” She asks, taking out all the supplies from the cupboard, and returning to him with an elastic band.

“I went to see him in New Orleans because I was addicted to drugs and he’s an alcoholic and I wanted him to tell me not to waste my life away because no one else was going to do it.”

“Wait, addicted? I thought it was just the one case?” Her whole body reacts, her heart drops and her breathing changes and she worries for him in a way she hasn’t felt in years. “Do you want me to do this in your hand so you don’t get triggered?”

He shakes his head, “no, it’s fine,” and then he takes a chip out of his pocket, “it was nice to not feel anything for a while.”

He hands it to her, it’s a 5-year chip and it makes her smile. “I’m always going to be proud of you.”

“I know.”

She hands it back to him and he puts it back where it belongs and the conversation dies there as she takes his blood and he looks away. She has a few vials, she puts his name on them and turns back to him. “Can I ask who Elle is?”

“She was on my team,” he presses his lips together and she knows there’s more in there.

“And?”

“She was shot and had terrible PTSD after, I checked on her one night and she was drinking and we got to talking about her feelings and she didn’t want to be alone… the next night she killed a serial rapist and claimed self-defence but I know she killed him because we couldn’t get justice for his victims. She put justice into her own hands, and then she left.”

“Do you live in a soap opera?” She teases, “damn, okay. I mean good for her, she probably thought if she was going to prison at least she could get some dick first.”

“That’s what I thought for a while too,” Spencer nods along, only slightly sad. “But then I thought about what I did to you, and I figured she didn’t need a reason to sleep with me and leave me, sometimes it just happens and there isn’t a good reason.”

“It’s different for boys,” she combats. “And you weren’t a virgin then, you were what? 24? You were almost a full-brained man.”

“I know.”

She needs to let it go, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, “sorry.”

“You’re not wrong. The damage I must have caused isn’t something that heals fast,” he explains and it starts to feel like a profile. “You haven’t just not slept with anyone because you don’t want to. It’s because you’re scared. We were really young, we were stupid, and I hurt you to the point where you can’t let in anyone who will leave you. I’m going to keep saying I’m sorry even though I know I can’t remove the scars, they’re always going to be there.”

“I hate you sometimes,” she whispers, turning away from him and gripping the counter. “You didn’t have to read me like that. Not everything is your fault you know, I’ve tried. I’ve wanted to and none of the people I’ve dated were good enough and the person I wanted to sleep with the most found someone else before I had the courage to do anything about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

She turns back to him with a straight face, “I wanted to feel loved more than I wanted to be fucked. You damaged my heart, not my vagina.”

He tries not to laugh, biting his lips and yet the air that leaves his nose sounds like a laugh, she turns her attention back to him, playfully outraged that he would laugh. “You’re a dick.”

“I missed you a lot,” he smiles, “and I’m really glad you reached out.”

—

When Maeve comes in, Y/N wraps herself around her so tight that Maeve laughs. “Hello lovely,” she whispers against her and Y/N’s heart flutters just a bit.

“Were you safe?” Y/N worries and brushes her hands along her arms as she looks her over. “You weren’t followed or anything?”

“No,” Maeve assures her and hugs her once more, “you look so good, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you,” she rocks her back and forth slightly and then turns to introduce her to Spencer, who’s now standing.

“This is Doctor Spencer Reid, Spencer this is Doctor Maeve Donovan, my best friend,” Y/N turns to him and Spencer looks at her like he knows her from somewhere.

“wait—

“Journal of Behavioural Psych… I’ve already seen your brain,” Maeve fills in the blanks. “I didn’t reply to your email because I knew you were Y/N’s Spencer.”

“Oh…” Spencer can’t really believe it.

“And I had no idea you have schizophrenia in your family either…” she stares at Y/N with her brows raised.

“Stop,” she whispers under her breath. “I told you.”

“It was between Alzheimer's in Texas and Schizophrenia here,” Spencer repeats. “I always thought I’d be the one to cure it for my mom, but I’m glad it’s you.”

Maeve just smiles at him and Y/N can’t stop smiling at her, it’s surreal to have her best friends meet.

They all catch up with their drinks in her office. Sitting at Y/N’s desk and sharing their stories, Spencer’s medical issues, Y/N’s flight anxiety and Maeve’s stalker.

“I actually got this yesterday…” she takes a letter out of her purse and hands it to them. “I think I’m going to dye my hair brown and move out of Bobby’s apartment. And I might hide for a bit.”

“No,” Y/N shakes her head, “we can get Penelope and the rest of Spencer’s friends to look into this, please? Please you can’t hide anymore this is too serious.”

“This is classic stalker behaviour,” Spencer says as he reads over the letter a few times. “They want to murder you and then kill themselves… do they bring this up often?”

“Yeah,” Maeve agrees. “He has a thing with suicide he’s said I should just kill myself and spare everyone the stress…”

“Wait,” Y/N stands and flicks through all her paperwork, “that girl who you turned down for a Ph.D. handed in the same thesis to me about cell deterioration in people with suicidal ideation.”

“That sounds like it matches up,” Spencer agrees. “I think I can have Penelope email you some information on the student so you can take it to the police?”

“Thank you, Spencer,” she smiles at him and Y/N can’t help but feel like a third wheel somehow.

Because of course her straight best friend, who she’s been in love with for 2 years, would meet her ex-boyfriend and be instantly attracted to him. It’s her luck. And by the way, Spencer is smiling at her, she knows he thinks she’s pretty. She’s known him long enough to remember when he looked at her like that… she clears her throat and gets them to stop making googly eyes at each other.

“We have a flight to catch soon too,” she reminds him. “I’m going to go work with my students if you two want to stay here and talk to Spencer’s co-workers.”

“Yeah,” Maeve agrees quickly. “That sounds good.”

“Can I talk to you first?” Spencer asks, pulling her into the other room and closing the door.

“What’s up?”

“You’re jealous,” he reads her just as well as she reads him.

“And you think she’s pretty,” she bites back. “I’m not jealous, I’m envois. I wished for a very long time that she would love me back and all it takes is a single smile from you and she’s probably willing to leave bobby.”

“But she’s not you,” Spencer replies. “It’s not that easy for me to fall in love, you know that. It took us years to fall as in love with each other as we were and it never went away. Meeting her can’t replace how I feel about you.”

“We can’t do this now,” she stops him. “Sit on it, tell me tomorrow when we open the time capsule. Mean it when you say it, don’t just try and calm me down with your words.”

She leaves the room, walking right past Maeve and into the lab. Helping the first student to call her attention and leaving her best friends to mingle.

—

She has a nap on the plane, Spencer did too, their heads resting against each other as they slept through the turbulence and the crying babies, waking up for the landing and departure. They get a car for the weekend, and the drive to her parent's house is so, so, so quiet.

“I’m not ready for how weird this is going to be” She whispers.

“It’s not going to be weird.”

“Yes, it is,” she’s adamant.

Her bed is still there for them to spend the night in, so are her parent's and brothers' beds if he doesn’t want to sleep beside her. And the couches and the fridge and anything big that she couldn’t move out alone yet.

“Why? Because we have to sleep in the same bed again, because it’s the house with all our memories or because the time capsule has letters addressed to our kids?”

“Yes.”

They both laugh at her bluntness, “we were so hopeful back then.”

“We had no reason not to be,” he says. “Your parents were very good at reminding me that our dreams can come true if we work hard enough.”

“They were great parents,” she agrees. “I miss them so much…”

“Would it be weird if I went to the grave?”

“No,” she lets out a deep breath, “they loved you.”

He pulls onto their old street and her heart is in her stomach. She can’t believe they’re actually doing this, they’re actually together again at her parent's house. He pulls into her driveway, her dad's truck is still parked out front and it looks exactly the same as it used to.

They grab their bags, she opens the door and then they’re alone in her old house. “See,” she teases, “it feels fuckin weird.”

“It’s so cold,” Spencer whispers. “Not like freezing, it just doesn’t feel right in here.”

“I know,” she agrees, taking her things and heading up the stairs towards her old bedroom.

“It’s grey…” Spencer whispers as he enters the room. “What happened to the purple?”

“My mom was bored when she was recovering from the chemo and she wanted to paint, so we did it,” she shrugs, “it was a fun weekend.”

Spencer puts his things in the corner and somehow it feels like they’re 15 again. He used to put his backpack there, he’d kick off his shoes and dive into her bed, waiting for afternoon cuddles and a nap before dinner and then they’d do homework until her curfew when he’d walk back to his house and wave to her from his window.

He kicks off his shoes again and she just sits on the edge of her bed, watching him. He takes off his suit jacket and hangs it on the hook behind her door, another thing he remembered to do almost by instinct.

“It’s like you never left,” she whispers.

He nods, “can I tell you now that I feel the same way, that I miss being loved too.”

It’s way too early in the weekend to be here already. “No,” she whispers. “Don’t do this to me again, please? Don’t offer to love me if you’re not certain that you’ll stay.”

“No one can be?” He reminds her as he sits beside her on her bed.

“You dying and you breaking my heart are two very different things,” she replies. “It would be easier if you died.”

“How?” He looks offended.

“Because then no one else can have you,” she can’t look at him and the tears come back. It fucking sucks. It hurts and she’s embarrassed.

“It’s killed me thinking about you all these years, wondering if you ever replaced me. I spent my whole childhood dreaming about being your wife and then I had to just imagine you with someone else for the last 15 years and it sucked.”

He doesn’t reply.

She shakes the tears away, clearing her throat slightly, “we’re either together or we’re not. Pick one. I can’t be stuck in limbo anymore.”

“No, I can’t just agree to go back to how it was before,” he shakes his head, “I’m not going to live up to your expectations. We are two completely different people now, we can’t just pick up where we left off without us fighting about it. I’m never going to be the same to you as I was when we were kids because I don’t know who that Spencer is anymore. I haven’t been him for a long time and this Spencer is really bad at pretending.”

He’s more assertive now, he was never this confident to fight with her when they were kids and then again he didn’t have a reason to.

They were happy back then.

“Would you like to date again and get to know each other as we are now?” She compromises.

“What if you don’t like who I am now? What if I let you down?”

“You can’t,” she can’t help but smile. “Because even after everything that’s happened, just looking at you fills me with the same feeling it did when we were kids. You’re always going to be my best friend, no matter what, even if we don’t have the same interests anymore or if you’re a bit more annoying…”

It makes him giggle and that’s what she wanted, “see? Look at us? We can do this, we just have to talk about it. I’m open to the fact that you’re a different man now from your trauma and you’re accepting of the fact I’m incredibly damaged from mine, and that we might always be, but one day we’ll laugh about it.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be laughing,” he teases and it feels like it did back then.

“No? I’m going to bring it up to tease you then,” she warns him, “because you’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

“You’re also more annoying than I remember,” he teases her right back and moves in to tickle her the way he used to.

She’s still ticklish. And he still remembers where. He tackles her back against the bed and she tries to push him off but she’s already giggling too hard, eyes closed as she tries to squirm out of his reach. But his arms are somehow longer than before? He wraps around her and digs into her sides with a hearty laugh and then it becomes a hug.

She settles again and he’s still on top of her and her arms wrap around him. His face is in the crook of her neck and she rests her cheek on his head, brushing her jaw along his hair and breathing deeply. She’s missed this so much in the last 15 years.

“I still love you,” he’s the one to say it first and all the tension in her body drops.

“Thank god,” she sighs and holds him a bit tighter. “I still love you.”

There’s a weird feeling in the air, one she hasn’t felt in a very long time. Not since they were sitting in that field, in Spencer’s mom's car, trying to figure out how they were going to have sex in the back seat.

She kisses the top of his head gently and he kisses the side of her neck in return and her breathing hitches. So he kisses her again, this time on the pulse point and up towards her Jaw and her eyes close as she leans into the contact.

It’s been a very long time since he’s seen most of her body, and yet as he strips her clothes off and covers her with his lips, it’s like nothings changed. He did this the first time too, carefully kissing everywhere but with a lot more nerves.

“It’s been a very long time since I’ve done this,” she reminds him, “so please don’t stop.”

He laughs, kissing her cheek and looking down at her. “We’re doing this?”

She nods, “there’s no one here to stop us.”

“And no reason to stay quiet,” he teases back, looking around her room quickly, “it’s strange being back here.”

“We never actually had sex in here,” she whispers, pecking his lips softly and then realizing that’s the first real kiss they’ve shared in 15 years.

He lunges in and kisses her again, hand on her cheek as she rests back against the pillow, he slides a leg in-between her own, grinding against her softly as he kisses her, swiping a tongue along her bottom lip, he used to love making out with her.

They could make out for hours on end, hot and heavy, grinding together but never taking it anywhere. It was just as fun to them as anything else, up until they had sex for the first time. Then it was all they wanted to do, only back then they were both more scared of being caught than actually doing it, and it’s not like they hadn’t been experimenting with each other their whole lives.

They had baths together as kids, they spent a lot of time alone as children and they hit puberty at the same time… she’ll never forget the day they learned what masturbating was, they went home and tried it alone and reported right back to each other the next day.

It was always meant to happen, he was the only person she wanted to take her virginity back then. And she wasn’t mad at him for taking it and then leaving, she was mad at him for having sex with her a million more times before he left.

But he was always so delicate with her and she was just as soft with him, they loved each other and respected each other like it was second nature to them, and it was so easy to slip back into that. She knew everything he liked, he remembered what spots elicited the best responses from her. It was like they never missed a beat.

His clothes come off just as quickly as hers, she’s missed him so much over the years. Remembering their first time for far too long, thinking about him at the worst moments, typically right as pleasure overtook her. She’s been saying his name when she cums for so long it’s the only thing she knows how to do.

“Spencer please?” She whines as they grind together, her lips just as swollen as his.

She sits up and takes him with her, he kneels in front of her and she uses the free space to get off the bed and search through her suitcase. “I brought condoms for a reason,” she laughs as she hands them to him. “I figured this would happen at some point.”

“I did too,” he smirks, “but I also saw tonight that you’re on the pill?”

She nods and laughs, “you’re kidding?” She climbs back into her bed and suddenly she’s nervous, “I mean, yeah, we could? But how do I know you’re clean? You’ve slept with a lot of people since we were together.”

“6 isn’t a lot,” he retorts, “but I just thought I’d ask, I still want you to be the first person I do that with.”

“You’re asking and you can’t even say it?” She teases him, shoving him lightly and taking the condoms from him.

His whole demeanour changes then, “you’d let me fuck you raw?”

She forgets how to breathe then, simply nodding with her jaw dropped, mouth breathing, deeply, she’s shocked. She finally swallows, returning the moisture to her mouth, “yeah…”

“What else would you let me do?” He whispers, drawing her in closer until she’s sitting in his lap and running her hands down his bare chest.

“Anything,” she whispers back, “I’ve missed your touch.”

He hums, brushing his nose against hers before kissing her softly. “Do you think about me still?”

Of course he remembered when she told him that.

There was one day where he never came over, she was waiting and waiting and he wasn’t showing up so she eventually went over to get him. Finding him having an anxiety attack in his room, admitting to her and apologizing profusely for thinking about her when he masturbated the night before. He was afraid she would think he was gross and then hate him. When in reality she was thinking about him too.

She nods, “it’s hard not to when you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

“I’m all you’ve ever had,” he reminds her. Or at least so he thinks.

“No,” she shakes her head, “there was another guy in high school.”

“What?” He furrows his brows, “I thought you said you didn’t?”

“I didn’t really want to, but, I had sex with Kyle VanNuss? Do you remember him?” She asks carefully, scared that this is ruining absolutely everything when she was just so close to having him again.

“I hated him,” Spencer replies. “I’m sorry it wasn’t good.”

“it’s fine it was 12 years ago,” she laughs, “I really wanted to sleep with people, I would have loved to have been able to, but I need this first. I need to feel totally and completely safe and loved and appreciated, the way you make me feel.”

“Demisexuality is defined by—

“Don’t quote textbook definitions at me, I love you and only you and no one compares. Now if there’s a spencer-sexual term, that’s me, and that’s how I’d like to keep it,” she tries to keep a straight face but she ends up laughing and dragging him down with her.

He rests his forehead on her shoulder, arms around her waist, they’re so close and completely naked and it feels right, “this is all I want.”

She sits up a bit, reaching between them and gripping his cock at the base and he moans. He’s bigger than she remembers, he still makes such beautiful sounds as she strokes him and then she runs the head of his cock along her folds and he tosses his head back with another delicious moan.

“Put it in,” he requests.

She sinks down onto him with more ease than she thought she would, always so turned on by him, it’s easy. She bottoms out and rests back against his legs, sitting in his lap, holding him incredibly close. It feels like every single part of him is touching her and she still wants more. Reconnecting their lips, his hands move down to her hips to help her move, grinding and bouncing they make a rhythm that is completely theirs, it works and she’s so lost in him.

Moaning into his mouth, feeling his hands on her body, his chest against hers and his tongue in her mouth. It’s all she’s wanted for a very long time, and it’s overwhelming. She tries to hold herself together but it feels so good, she’s on the edge of every single emotion in the book as she rides him there.

She breaks the kiss to hold him tighter, kissing his shoulder before he picks her up and lays her back against the bed, crawling between her legs and sliding back in. It’s easier at this angle, he slides in and out so easy, his thumb is on her clit and his mouth on her breasts as she lays there, blissed out and moaning, a tear slips down her face and she quickly wipes it away.

It’s all a lot and according to him, he’s staying forever. This isn’t the last time it’ll happen, it’s actually the first of many, the first of forever, and only time will tell how long that forever lasts.

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[ourloveisforthelovely]

Teenagers Part 1

Harry Potter AU 

Summary: Request fic:  Regulus had never noticed you before. You are the opposite of him in almost every way. It also doesn't help that you are the sister of the one person that Regulus is most annoyed by. Now its time to learn if opposites really attract?

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

Song in Chapter: Take it like a man by Cher

________

A new school year…

You were more than thrilled going back to school. This year was going to be bittersweet. It was James and Sirius’ last year at school. Knowing that your brother and best friend would be leaving soon was enough to make you dread going back but you decided to not think about it. You would think about it the next year when you had to make all new friends. The less you thought about your friends leaving, the better off than you were. In your years at school, you had grown incredibly close to Sirius, Remus, and Lily. You were close to James anyway so not seeing your brother every day was going to be horrible the following year.

I’ll be happy this year.

You muttered to yourself as Sirius and James came running up behind you.

“Y/N THERE YOU ARE!”

Sirius yelled your name before throwing his arms around you in a bone-crushing hug.

“Sirius, you saw me five minutes ago.”

You coughed as he dramatically patted your head. James, Remus, and Lily finally caught up and was chuckling at the scene. They were so used to Sirius trying to drive you crazy that it was nothing new.

“Pads, can you not crush our sister?”

James asked with a smirk. Lily nodded.

“Yeah, Sirius, she is turning blue. “

Sirius quickly put you back on your feet and petted your cheek. He was giggling hard at the annoyed expression on your face.

“Better now?”

You nodded, rolling your eyes.

“You are going to be the death of me one day. People are going to keep thinking that you are my boyfriend.”

You bent down to pick up the book that Sirius knocked out of your hand. Sirius muttered a quiet apology as he wrapped his arm around your neck.

“It's fine. I’m used to it.”

Sirius smiled again.

“What’s wrong with me as a boyfriend?”

You motioned to Remus.

“Well nothing except if I am dating you I am also dating Remus which makes this one weird love triangle where I feel like I am dating my brothers. We aren’t that creepy are we?”

Sirius and Remus were both dying laughing at that comment while James shook his head.

“No, we aren’t that creepy. I would, for the record, be okay with the three of you in some weird triangle. At least I know my sister would be taken care of.”

Sirius grinned and patted your head again.

“We take care of her plenty enough.”

“He’s right, James. I feel like I have three older brothers. That could be the reason guys are scared to date me.”

You said with a smile as Sirius’ attention went elsewhere.

“Why is my brother staring at us?”

Sirius asked. Your eyes went in the direction of where Sirius was looking. Regulus Black stood with his little band of Slytherin “tyrants” (as James called them). Sure enough, the younger Black brother’s eyes were locked on Sirius and yourself. Evan and Barty leaned forward and whispered something to Regulus.

“He may not be looking at us.”

Sirius frowned. There was no denying that Regulus’ eyes were locked not only on Sirius but you.

“He’s actually looking at Y/n.”

Remus commented. You frowned. Regulus didn’t even know who you were or at least he pretended not to. It didn’t matter that the two of you were in the same year...neither of you spoke to the other. You didn’t really count him telling you to “move” in third year as talking.

“Looks like he’s lost.”

James said. Sirius hadn’t said another word but carefully watched his brother’s face. There was something different about that expression and Sirius wasn’t for sure what it was. Regulus didn’t show many expressions so seeing his brother looking like he had been hit by a book at the sight of you was rather amusing.

“If he had a crush on Y/n I am going to strangle him.”

James growled. You burst out laughing.

“Calm down, James. He doesn’t even know who I am.”

“Oh, I’m sure he does.”

James muttered as Sirius finally gave up and waved at his younger brother. Regulus scowled at Sirius before turning and tugging Evan and Barty with him.

“I guess he doesn’t miss me.”

Sirius said, sounding a little sad. You sighed. Part of you was still furious with the Black family for how they did Sirius. They didn’t realize how wonderful of a boy that he was. You wrapped your arm through his.

“Come on, let's go find a place on the train. Forget them.”

Meanwhile…

Regulus sat down beside Evan. His mind was stuck on his brother and the girl that was with him. Regulus wasn’t oblivious to the fact that his brother had a bit of a “hoe phase” going on but you, whoever you were, seemed different. There was something about the girl that Sirius had his arm around that really didn’t scream “I am Sirius Black’s type.”

“Who was the girl with my brother?”

Regulus finally asked. Evan looked up with a scowl.

“You know her.”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest feeling annoyance building. While Evan had been his best friend since childhood, there were times that Regulus wanted nothing more than to punch him.

“Yeah? Well, I wouldn’t be asking you if I had the foggiest idea who she was now would I?”

Barty grinned from his place on the opposite bench.

“She is Y/n Potter. James’ sister...you know that git who stole your brother.”

Regulus’ mouth dropped. The last time that he had really looked at you...you were different...childish. Now you were...Regulus didn’t even know what word to use but the strange feeling in his stomach told him that it was something good.

Evan finally spoke again.

“She’s had one hell of a glow up over the summer. I can’t believe that I am saying this but she is pretty. She used to remind me of a baby squirrel.”

“A squirrel?”

Regulus questioned. Evan nodded.

“She was always so nervous looking. Now...if she wanted to tie my ass to a chair and give me a lap dance. I really wouldn’t mind. She would have to lose the Gryffindor tie and put on one of mine though.”

Evan smirked when he noticed the expression on Regulus’ face. He had never seen Regulus be the least little bit interested in another girl. Now here he was looking like he wanted to fight for your honor.

“I suggest that the three of you just leave Y/n Potter alone. It won’t end well.”

Severus’ monotone voice said as the boy stepped into the compartment. Evan laughed.

“Just because you are scared to stand up to Potter and his goons don’t mean that we aren’t. Come on Sev, even you have to admit that Y/n is a lovely girl now. Have you seen her ass? A perfect handful.”

Severus rolled his eyes and sat down without further comment. Regulus turned back to Evan.

“Maybe you should ask her for a date if you are that desperate for her attention?”

“You saw her first.”

Regulus rolled his eyes.

“Just because I look at her doesn’t mean that I want her.”

The next morning Regulus woke up with a groan. He had tried to keep his mind off of you the whole previous evening but found his eyes glued to you. To his delight and displeasure, your eyes never flickered in his direction one time.

It also didn’t help that you were in his dreams that night. The whole night your sweet smile was locked on him. Even if you didn’t say a word you were looking at him. No one else but Regulus and he loved every bloody second of it!

Getting involved with her would be stupid….wreckless. Mother and father would be furious. She’s a blood traitor. Her whole family is...I don’t need that.

Regulus muttered as he got dressed. It didn’t matter how many times that he repeated that mantra to himself when he closed his eyes...it was your face that he saw.

Sinking into his place at the Slytherin table by Evan, Regulus silently started going through the motions of acting like he wanted to eat. There were plenty of things for him to think about...school, quidditch, tests...but you were the first thing. Was this what a crush was supposed to feel like because Regulus honestly had no clue.

Finally getting brave enough, he looked up at the Gryffindor table where you sat beside Dorcas Meadows laughing over something Marlene Mckinnon was saying.

Merlin, her smile is pretty…

Regulus thought before internally screaming at himself to stop.

“Hey, Reg, look, it's your woman.”

Evan commented with a smile. Regulus immediately elbowed Evan in the ribs.

“Shut up.”

Evan’s attention went back to the Gryffindor table when Sirius plopped down beside you.

“Something tells me that you need to get a move on if you want her before your brother runs off with her. By the rate he’s going, he’s going to try to marry her.”

Evan commented with a sneer. He had little patience with Sirius and now with the knowledge that Regulus had an interest in a girl for once...Evan wanted to make sure that Regulus got what he wanted for once.

Regulus rolled his eyes as you moved your hand over and landed on Sirius’ plate. He watched as you quickly pulled your arm up looking at the sticky syrup from the waffles that his brother was eating. Regulus couldn’t hear the conversation but it looked like you were giving Sirius the “what for” for having his plate so close to you. Sirius gave you a feeble shrug before taking your hand in his and licking your arm.

Gross…

Regulus thought as you picked up a book and smacked Sirius with it.

That works…

Regulus enjoyed watching you do what he had wanted to do to his brother for ages. When your eyes looked in his direction, Regulus froze. You offered him a small smile before turning back to the conversation with Marlene.

What the hell is going on with me?

Meanwhile,

You couldn’t help but smile at the expression on Regulus’ face. You had caught him looking at you several times but tried to not let him know that you were aware. It was nice seeing a cold glare on his face. Although you had never spoken a word to Regulus and really had no authority to judge him, he always seemed so cold and angry. You were honestly unsure if he knew how to smile. Now here he was staring at you with a stunned expression on his face.

“He’s a cute boy.”

Marlene commented. You looked up.

“Who?”

Marlene glanced over your shoulder to make sure that James, Sirius, and Remus were locked into a deep conversation about a prank before speaking again.

“Regulus.”

Dorcas and Lily both smile.

“He’s been watching you all morning.”

Dorcas added. You blushed and found yourself unable to look at the Slytherin table for a moment. Finally getting brave enough, you looked over again. Regulus had taken off his robes and sat in his black jumper talking to Evan. You rolled your eyes at the mere thought of Evan Rosier. The boy was a git!

Regulus, however, couldn’t have been more lovely. You smiled at just how much he and Sirius resemble each other in addition to their subtle differences. For one, you loved Regulus’ curls. He had apparently let it grow out over the summer and with the longer hair, Regulus reminded you a bit more of his brother. Another difference was Regulus’ eyes. His eyes were darker than Sirius and had more of a “James Dean daydream” look where Sirius was all “devil may care.”

“He must be bored.”

You replied, taking a sip of your drink. Dorcas glanced over her shoulder at the boy.

“Regulus always seems so sad and angry. Maybe you could cheer him up?”

“Like he would want anything to do with me. Besides have you all met my brother? James would fall off of his unicorn if I let Regulus within 8 inches of me.”

Lily smiled.

“He is a big boy. He’ll get over it.”

Marlene leaned closer and wrapped her arm through yours. You couldn’t help but look over at Regulus again. He sat tapping his fingers anxiously. Even his hands were nice-looking...you were in a lot of trouble!

“Here’s what you do...you simply tell him that if he wants your heart then he needs to take it like a man.”

Dorcas nodded.

“Oh, that’s a good one, Marlene. She’s right, Y/n. Before he fights for you, he needs to show you that he can.”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“You two just ripped off a Cher song.”

“She has good advice and clearly Dorcas and I are on the same page.”

Marlene said with a smile. You quickly gathered your things to head off to class.

“Maybe he and I can go on a date to that new skating rink down in hell.”

You said with a laugh. Both Marlene and Dorcas gave you offended gasps.

“Hell doesn't have to freeze over for a Slytherin and a Gryffindor to be compatible.”

“It will for that one.”

You replied before bidding everyone a fair well and leaving the great hall.

Arriving in Potions, you were never more grateful to get to a class that you really had to focus on. The less that you had to sit and think about the morning's conversation with your friends the better off you would be.

“Good morning, Ms. Potter.”

Professor Slughorn said with a cheerful smile as you stepped into the room. He had been adoring you since the year before when you cracked one of his zany puzzles.

“Good morning, Professor. Did you have a nice summer?”

“Oh, yes my dear. I hope you did as well. I saw Lily and she said that the two of you spent a lot of time together.”

You nodded.

“Yes sir, she’s one of my best friends.”

Professor Slughorn nodded with an approving smile. You couldn’t have asked for a better best friend in his eyes.

“That’s wonderful, my dear. If you will just sit down there, please. I am pairing everyone up with a partner this semester. I’m sure yours will come along shortly.”

“Thank you, sir.”

You replied as you dug your new potions book out of your bag. It wasn’t until Slughorn said Regulus’ name did you look up before looking down.

Of course, he’s in this class. Why not? Merlin help me if he gets sat next to…

“Mr. Black if you will sit with Ms. Potter, please. I am pairing the two of you up this semester.”

FUCK

You screamed in your head, knowing that your face was blushing bright red. Regulus sat down beside you and was dead silent. You peaked at him through your hair. He sat with his hands in front of him on the table. Eventually, you would have to look up at him but right now you didn’t know how quickly that would be.

What if he actually didn’t like you and was just staring because he thought that you were dating Sirius or something? That would be some cruel joke for you. You would be getting all emotionally distraught and downright nervous for no reason.

Dorcas and Marlene’s ripping of Cher lyrics came right back to your head.

Boy, if you want my heart. You gotta take it like a man. Before you fight for us. You gotta show me that you can. So when the lights go dark...I wanna know you understand that if you want my heart you gotta take it like a man...

“You do know how to talk, right?”

Regulus’ voice pulled you from your thoughts. Ah, that’s what his voice sounded like...you loved it already. You couldn’t help but wonder just what the fuck was going on with you? Since when did you get all giddy for some boy that you didn’t know?

You took a deep breath before looking up at Regulus. He looked bored sitting beside you but it looked like his own cheeks were slightly pink.

“Yes, I know how to speak.”

You replied. Regulus anxiously tapped his fingers on the table in front of him.

“Good because it would be one hell of a boring semester if you were mute.”

You automatically frowned.

“I didn’t hear you saying anything.”

Regulus rolled his eyes.

“You’re sassy. Lovely.”

You put your book down in front of you feeling the annoyance build but at the same time, Regulus calling you “sassy” was hilarious.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

You snapped back. A small smile played on his lips. Was he testing your patience or was he trying to get hit with a book the way Sirius did?

“You are friends with my brother aren’t you?”

You nodded.

“We aren’t dating.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

Regulus replied. Internally he was thanking whatever lucky stars that he had shining in his direction. He didn’t have to worry about his older stupid “better looking” brother for once.

“Sorry, that’s usually the first question that most people ask.”

You said, feeling your face flush. Regulus smiled.

“Tell people to mind their own damn business. It works wonders.”

Before you could respond, Professor Slughorn called the class to attention. Both Regulus and yourself turned to face him, ending the conversation that was taking place. You tried to listen to what Slughorn was talking about was busy congratulating yourself on not looking like a total fool.

Boy, will Dorcas and Marlene love this...

______

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[number5theboy]

Please elaborate on how Five could've turned into the most insufferable character to watch

Thanks for asking me to elaborate on this text post:

@tessapercygranger​, @waywardd1​ and @margarita-umbrella​ also wanted to see a more detailed version of it, and I ended up writing an essay that’s longer than some of my actual academic essays. So buckle up.

WHY NUMBER FIVE SHOULD BE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS CHARACTER IN TV HISTORY, AND HOW HE MANAGES NOT TO BE

Number Five: The Concept That Could Go Horribly Wrong

Alright, let’s first look at Five in theory in an overarching way, without taking into account the execution of the show. The basic set-up of the character, of course, is being a 58-year-old consciousness in a teenager’s body, due to a miscalculation in time travel. Right off the bat, Five is bar none the most overpowered of the siblings; by the end of Season 2, no one has yet been able to defeat him in a fight. He is a master assassin – and not just any master assassin, but the best one there is – and a survival expert, able to do complex maths and physics without the aid of a calculator, shown to have knowledge of half a dozen languages, has very developed observational skills and, to top that all off, he can manipulate time and space to the point where he can literally erase events that happened and change the course of history. And Five knows how skilled he is; he is arrogant, self-assured and sarcastic, and his streak of goodness is buried deep inside. David Castañeda once described Five in an interview as 90% chocolate with a cherry in the middle, meaning that you have to get through a lot of darkness and bitterness before knowing there is a good core, and I think it’s an excellent metaphor. However, Five is also incredibly, fundamentally terrible at communicating with anyone, and, because he is the only one with time travel abilities, the character a lot of the actual plot - and the moving forward of it - centres around. Also he’s earnestly in love with a mannequin, who is pretty much a projection of his own consciousness that functions as a coping mechanism for all the trauma he has endured. All in all, this gives you a character who looks like a teenager, but with the smug superiority of a fifty-something, who a) is extremely skilled in many different things, b) has a superiority complex, is arrogant and vocal about it, and most of the superiority is expressed through cutting sarcasm, c) has one very hidden ounce of goodness that he is literally the worst at communicating to other human beings, d) is what moves the plot along but is also bad at talking to anyone else, meaning that the plot largely remains with him, and e) his love interest is essentially a projection of himself. Tell me that’s not a character who is destined to be just…obnoxious, annoying, egocentric, a necessary evil that one has to put up with to get through this show. There are so many elements of this characterisation that can and should easily make Five beyond insufferable, but the show manages to avoid it, and I’m putting this down to three aspects.

That Trick of Age and Appearance

Bluntly put, Five as a character would not work if he was anything else than an old man in a 13-year-old body. Imagine this character and all his skills and knowledge, but actually just…a teenager. Immediately insufferable. Same goes for him being around 30, like his siblings, all of which are stunted and traumatised by their father’s abuse. If Five, being comparatively unscathed by Reginald to the point where he explicitly does not want to be defined by his association with his father, were 30 like his siblings, it would just take the bite out of that plot point and also give him a lot less time in the apocalypse, reducing the impact it had on him as a person. And making Five his actual 58-year-old self would make him very similar to Reginald, at least on surface level, with the appearance and attitude. Five and Reginald are two fundamentally different people, but having one of the siblings being a senior citizen that’s dressed to the nines and bosses his siblings around in a relatively self-centred way does open up that parallel, and would take away from Five’s charm as a character. Because pairing the life experience of a 58-year-old with the appearance of a teenager gives you the best of both worlds. You get the other siblings (and a lot of the audience, from a glance in the tags of my gifsets) feeling protective and paternal about Five, but his age and experience also give the justifications for his many skills, his arrogance, in a way, and his ability to decimate a room full of people. It’s the very interesting and not new concept of someone dangerous with the appearance of something harmless, a child. This is also where Five’s singular outfit comes in. I know we like to clown on Five to get a new outfit, but I think what gets forgotten often is how effective this outfit is at making the viewer take him seriously. The preppy school uniform is the perfect encapsulation of the tension between old man in spirit and young teenager in appearance. The blazer, vest and especially the shirt and tie are quite formal, relatively grown up. They’re not something we, the audience, usually associate with a teenage boy wearing; it makes Five just a little bit more grown up. But there is also a reason characters in this show keep bringing up Five’s shorts and his socks, because those are not things that we associate with grown men wearing; they’re the unmistakably childish part of his school uniform. Take a moment and imagine Five wearing a hoodie or a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers; would that outfit work for him as well as the uniform does? Would he be able to command the same kind of respect or seriousness as a character? I don’t think so; the outfit is a lot more pivotal in making Five believable than a lot of people give it credit for.

Writing Nuance

The other big building block in not making Five incredibly insufferable is the writing. Objectively speaking, I think Five is the most well-written, and, more importantly, most coherently written character on the show (which does have to do with the fact that the show’s events are all sequential for him), and his arc and personality remain relatively intact over the course of the two seasons. More to the point, a giant part of what makes Five bearable as a character is that he is allowed to fail. He is written to have high highs and low lows, big victories through his skills and his intelligence, but also catastrophic failures and the freedom to be wrong. His superior intellect and skillset are not the be-all end-all of the plot or his character, just something that influences both. His inability for communication has not (yet) been used to fabricate a contrived misunderstanding that derails the plot and left all of us seething; instead, it’s a characteristic that makes him fail to reconnect with the people he loves. This is a bit simplified, as he does find common ground with Luther, for example, but in general, a lot of the rift between Five and his siblings is that they can’t relate to his traumas and he does not understand the depth of Reginald’s abuse, which is an interesting conflict worth exploring. Another thing that really works in Five’s favour is that he is definitely written to be mean and sarcastic, but it is never driven to the point of complete unlikability, and a lot of the time, the context makes it understandable why he reacts the way he does. Most of the sarcastic lines he gets are actually funny, that certainly helps, but in general, Five is a good example of a bearable character whose default personality is sharp and relatively cold, because it is balanced out with many moments of vulnerability. Delores is incredibly important for this in the first season, she is the main focus of Five’s humanising moments, and well-written as she totes the line between clearly being a coping mechanism for an extremely traumatised man and still coming across to the viewer as the human contact Five needs her to be. In the second season, the vulnerability is about his guilt for his siblings, it’s about Five connecting a little bit better to them. There’s also his relationship with the Commission and the Handler specifically – which honestly could be an essay on its own – that deserves a mention, because the Handler is why Five became the man he is, and this dynamic between creator and creation is explored in a very interesting way – their scenes are some of the most well-written in the entire show. And TUA never falls into the trap of making Five a hero, he is always morally ambiguous at best, and it just makes for an interesting, multi-faceted character, well-written character, and none of the characteristics that should make him unlikeable are allowed to take centre-stage for long enough to be defining on their own. I know a lot of people especially champion the scenes where Five goes apeshit, but without his more nuanced characterisation, if he was like that all the time, those scenes would not hit as hard.

Aidan Gallagher’s Performance is Underrated

But honestly, none of the above would matter that much if the Umbrella Academy didn’t luck out hard with the casting of Aidan Gallagher. I think what he achieves as an actor in this show is genuinely underappreciated. Like, the first season set out to cast six adults having to deal with various ramifications of childhood trauma, and a literal child that had to be able to act smart and wise beyond his years, seamlessly integrate into a family of adults while seeming like an adult, traumatised by the literal end of the world, AND had to be able to create the romantic chemistry of a thirty-year-long marriage with a lifeless department store doll. The only role I could think of to compare is Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire, where she plays a vampire child who, because she is undead, doesn’t age physically, but does mentally, so she’s 400 in a child’s body. And Kirsten Dunst had to do that for a two-hour movie. Five is a main character in a show that spans 20 episodes now. That’s insane, and it’s a risk. Five is a character that can’t be allowed to go wrong; if you don’t buy Five as a character, the entire first season loses believability. And they found someone who could do that not only convincingly, but also likeably. As I said, he is incredibly helped by the costuming department and the script, but Aidan Gallager’s Five has so much personality, he’s threatening and funny and charming and arrogant and heartbreaking. He has the range to be convincing in the quiet moments where Five’s humanity comes to show and in the moments where Five goes completely off the rails. Most child actors act with other children, but he is the only child in the main cast, and holds his own in scenes with adults not as a child, but as an adult on equal footing with the other adult characters. That’s not something to be taken for granted. But even apart from the fact that it’s a child actor who carries a lot of the plot and the drama of a series for adults, Aidan Gallagher’s portrayal of Five is also just so much fun. The comedic timing is on point, he has the dramatic chops for the serious scenes, the mannerisms and visual ticks add to the character rather than distract from him, and his line deliveries, paired with his physical acting, make Five arrogant and smug but never outright malicious and unlikeable. It’s just some terrific acting that really does justice to the character as he is written, but the writing would not be as strong if it wasn’t delivered and acted out the way Aidan Gallagher does. He is an incredible asset for this show.

Alright, onto concluding this rambling. If you made it this far, I commend you, and thank you for it. The point of all of this is that Five, as a character, could have been an unmitigated disaster of a TV character. He is overpowered, arrogant, uncommunicative and could so easily have been either unconvincing or completely unlikeable, but he turned out to be neither. It’s a combination of choices in the costume department, decisions in the writing room, and Aidan Gallagher’s acting skills that make the things that should make him obnoxious and annoying incredibly entertaining, and I hope you liked my long-winded exploration of these. Some nuance was lost along the way, but if I had not stopped myself, this would’ve become a full-blown thesis.