#which is. not helping my situation
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Ok that's enough crackers everyone can stop now
#i like diwali but thats enough. can we please stop now. can we go back to peace and quiet#myar#desi#on a related note im yet again crying at a family gathering👍#which is. not helping my situation#people and noise. fuck this gay earth
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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i don’t mean ‘we had money’ or ‘we struggled.’ did you know (roughly, within ~$10k or local equivalent) how much your parents made?
#i’m at a conference and the speaker mentioned sharing her finances with her kids and the reaction of the audience was VISIBLY SHOCKED#which is wild to me lmao i’ve known dollar amounts of how much my parents have made since i was like. 8.#which i recognize sounds insane on paper but it really helped me to be smarter with money throughout my teenage years yanno#and it didn’t feel like because i said so when my parents were like you can’t do that. because i understood our money situation FULLY.#idk. i literally never even thought about this not being something i told my kids. is this normal.#text#my post#mobi
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Always a bit puzzled by people saying that anyone who wanted long-term consequences for TotK Zelda's sacrifice are "edgy".
I'm not even particularly in the camp that she should have remained a dragon forever (I think this should have been Ganondorf's fate, it would have been sooo much more impactful than to explode him and move on but anyway). To be honest, I wish the rules for turning back would have been 1) clear 2) active gameplay on the player so that it feels like it's something we have earned, and 3) not make her have amnesia about it and/or at least having her gain some crucial insight because of the experience.
(also: doesn't she crave knowledge? isn't that insanely mean to have her watch over every civilization and every bit of history ever and then take it away from her? kind of dislike how totk privileges the comfort of the player's feelings over what the characters would actually want or need tbh)
To be perfectly honest, I fully expected us needing to turn her back before engaging Ganondorf so we would fight him together, especially since Zelda as a compagnon exists in the game code already (though in a very subdued state). It feels very very strange to me that all of this mechanic of Sages following us existing and yet we never have the very climactic cool Zelda-staple moment of facing Ganondorf or Ganon together (OoT, WW, TP, ST and probably more that I'm forgetting all did this in some way --even BotW had Zelda more involved than in TotK). I'm not sure Mineru was a compagnon that was needed over Zelda honestly, especially given the kind of non-insight she gives us on the zonai (even if the idea of the mecha is cool, it really could have been Zelda using her zonai + sheikah knowledge to pilot one for us or something).
But anyway: yeah, even if this isn't what I would have wanted personally, I think wanting Zelda to remain a dragon is kind of arguably more respectful of her relationship to Link, in a way, that what the game ended up doing. When she enacted this sacrifice, Zelda decided to trust him to such a extent that she lost herself, reciprocated his trust in her and his devotion to her, and now the future of Hyrule exists beyond her and beyond what Hyrule once was, but she trusts them to follow through and be happy and she will watch over them from the stars moving on. It's fine if we manage to save her from that fate, but even if we don't, honestly this sounds like a beautiful story/tragic romance to me, if you want to read it that way. Tragedy doesn't necesserily involve edginess. Fictional pain isn't always mean, or out to get you.
#totk#totk critical#zelda#link#when will my brain return from the imprisoning war...#take it from me: a professional edgelord#but genuinely I was quite disappointed when I realized I wouldn't get to fight alongside Zelda at all#I thought for sure the first descent was a setup for the final descent when we would be reunited#and then confront Ganondorf together#I don't know to me that would have just made sense#she's the one with the most beef with that man Link is honestly just here so she doesn't have to call an über afterward#link doesn't have half as much reasons to want ganondorf dead as zelda does#which didn't help the feeling that I had as much emotional investment in the situation than the friend you call when you get in trouble#ganondorf isn't even directly responsible for zelda returning to the past NOR turning into a dragon! the guy has no idea what's going on!#anyway. this game's plot is very weird.
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take responsibility
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing jimmy#i didnt draw jimmy's face bc i hate his ass#they should uhh take responsibility or whatever#me personally?#i think curly is as much of an accomplice with jimmy because he had refused to help anya#copying this from a comment to kinda explain my thought process#what if#jimmy assaulting anya in front of curly and she look to curly accusing and pleading as if he could save her#kinda like bringing the horror act in front of curly will makes him realize how horrific the act hes pardoning for is#and i want he to look at anya because shes looking at him asking for help and he didnt help her#anya asking him to take responsibility#no colour cuz im kinda busy rn#i think the crew should take turn beating jimmy to death with a rock#coming back to add that#yes curly is experiencing the similar situation with anya#like in this she is in front of him but jimmy is behind her#hes behind both of them and if anya wasnt in the picture jimmy wouldve pose as the assailant to curly in this situation#which he is! he is abusing BOTH jimmy and anya#i kina wanna show how anya and curly situation parallel one another#theyre in the same sinking boat of a situation
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I'm reading through the Jinlan City tag for SVSSS on AO3 again (because canon divergences for that are one of my favorite things) and I love that so many authors agree that the best way to fix things is for Shen Qingqiu and/or Luo Binghe to simply burst into tears.
#honestly one of my favorite tropes and I will never be tired of it#they're both going about it the wrong way in canon#luo binghe is angry and slightly menacing#which does NOT help matters when shen qingqiu is terrified of him#so having one of them burst into tears is perfect#because it completely disarms the other and helps them figure out that the situation isn't what they thought#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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so. rescuing kittens, huh.
#paper craft#help me kdfhgkghj they dont let me sleep....#its hard being a single mother of three.#we're taking them to the shelter tomorrow but we've been caring for these babies for about 3 days now and oh my stars dgkhdfgdjgkd#anyways the one climbing siffrin is named cupid he was the first we found#the one by his foot is valentine she is a sweetheart??#and then the one below cupid is arrow she is very talented#there was a fourth kitten but we couldn't capture them :( hopefully they're okay!!!#this is very difficult <3 bc of many reasons!!! gonna vent a teeny rq buuuuut#i lost my therapy cat in november. and we can't afford to get me a cat in our current situation#which is fine!!!!!#but.... taking care of these guys is really triggering my mourning and grief something fierce#and also theyre incredibly physically taxing and it's making my disability flare up pretty rough#so this has been... an exhausting few days
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Writing real world AUs for SW is the biggest exercise in suspending ur disbelief because of those NAMES.
Obi-Wan? Yeah that's just Ben now regardless of what stage of life he's in. Dooku? Sorry you must mean signore Serenno. Legend has it he's some sort of Italian. Qui-Gon Jinn? Um. Uhhh. He was born to hippie parents in the 70s that's why. Yeah I know that's kinda fucked up. Don't ask about Ben's last name btw
#this is worse if you're writing something historical btw#currently chewing on my old west codywan horror cattle drive fic and. yeah#obi-wan is just ben#cody and rex are just names americans can plausibly have thank god#dooku is a british descendant of italian nobility which is funny bc it's kinda close to christipher lee's actual situation lmao#the way sw characters just be obtaining ethnic backgrounds based on their names as soon as you put them in a regular earth setting .... help
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Okay, y'all have helped me out SO MUCH already, and I hate to keep asking, but I have a lot of debt and not a lot of income (by which I mean: none). I'm working on finishing up a final personal project before I can start making and selling quilts again, but I'd really love to get a head start on finishing off paying my medical and related bills (food, QOL assistance, medical devices, medications my medicaid doesn't cover, etc.) I appreciate all of you so much, and please only donate if you have the money to spare - otherwise, a simple reblog is more than sufficient!
#mutual aid#i really really hate to keep asking#but soon i'll be getting a case manager for disability and hopefully that'll help#i'm also in a shitty housing situation and the less i have to ask my parents for the better off i am#which is partially how i got as deep as i am in debt#the job market here sucks ass if you can't do physical labor#which i very much cannot
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Cove every time he talks about being uncomfortable In social settings/not being able to properly express his feelings because they become too much for him:
Me: I know what you are (autistic)
#our life#olba#misty talks our life#olba cove#cove holden#i feel like not many people in fhe fandom bring up cove's autism which is a real pity considering 90% of his character#it's his autism fjskkskskdjs#like oh yeah the guy has tendecies lf going out without telling people he gets excited when you bring up the ocean and he needs to active#learn how to put himself in social situations#also he takes a very long time to socialize with people and becoming friends with them#i need to make a post about this but drive happiness and charity really display those aspects#cove: yeah im going to google how to make someone happy bc i have no idea how w/o fhe help of the adults in my life#me: oh my god.........
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looking back on the fic I've written in the last few years and my own sexuality journey has made me realize that there is an argument that poly folk and ace/aro folk process love in a lot of the same ways, like the idea that you can have significant, life-defining relationships with different people and you get something important and sometimes even a similar flavor from each relationship but each one is still fundamentally different and significant in its own way and sometimes you don't want sex but you do want hugs and your partner may be having sex with their other partner but that does not make your relationship any less important because they come back to hug you and having more hearts bound up in your own is never a bad thing, because being loved no matter the form is never a bad thing, you are lovable and you can love so many people and having a heart overflowing with love for other people and things and the universe just means that you're healing and finding the people who fit you in whatever way that comes and there will always be someone cooking in the kitchen filling your heart and stomach no matter what and in this essay i will-
#listen writing fanfic has been so integral to me figuring stuff like this out#never would have thought that starting to write power rangers fic back in the day would make me realize that i might be poly or aro#can't tell which yet but it's reassuring nonetheless#shout out to the ships/fandoms that helped me realize this!#dead boy detectives#doctor who#power rangers#ofmd#stranger things#honestly even my non-poly fics for skam and merlin have lowkey polyplatonic situations going on#eleven x amy x rory#stoncy#jim x archie x oluwande#ivan x chase x riley#edwin payne#izzy x lucius x black pete#thirteen x amy x rory#power rangers dino charge#power rangers rpm#scott x ziggy x summer x dillon x flynn#chronicles of narnia#fanfic#shadowhunters#simon x izzy x raphael#ALSO NOT A COINCIDENCE THAT A LOT OF THESE FEATURE AT LEASE ONE ASEXUAL CHARACTER#the intersection of asexuality and polyamory means a lot to me personally#asexuality#polyamory
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literally could not stop thinking about the last couple lines from @anuninterestingperson 's fic
which you can find ^ HERE read it plsplsplspslpsls
#we've (me and my partner) have been going insane abt this fic#also shoutout to him for helping me figure out the hand situation here#sifloop#isat spoilers#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat#the fic is isiloop which we ALL know im crazy abt#but alas i dont think i could tag this artwork that
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ART JUMPSCARE‼️‼️‼️
I love Seth, I couldn’t not draw him
(You will probably see more Yuurivoice characters at some point, I adore them)
#yuurivoice#yuurivoice seth#seth yuurivoice#I know I don’t normally post my art here but!!!! he!!!!#also I made the ring carnelian cause it looked vaguely orange in the reference I used#which fun fact is supposed to help with overcoming difficult situations and with giving courage#in a spiritual sense#which I thought was a fun note cause this dude NEEDS THAT#also left out the sunglasses cause I could not be bothered to try to draw that at fuckin midnight#please forgive me😔🙏
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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