#which I think should be normalized tbh
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Ik it’s cold out when my father sleeps in the bed w my mom lmao
#they started sleeping separate after my sister got married and moved out for preference reasons#which I think should be normalized tbh#my mom gets hot at night and my father gets cold#she likes the window open he doesn’t#they fight for the blankets#my father snores EXTREMELY loud#and so on and so forth#both of their sleep quality has improved#but when it’s cold my father needs the warmth of another body HAHAHAHAHA#diary
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The way people are becoming anti-children nowadays is really sad. And I'm not talking about people not wanting to have kids of their own, that's fine and something that shouldn't be shamed nor up to someone else to debate. No, I'm talking about the people who adamantly hate these little humans for simply existing, wanting to ban them from spaces due to them having emotional reactions that they are still learning to understand (you know, the kind of lessons that everyone had to learn and figure out at one point). It's gotten to the point where I've even seen these types of people genuinely support children being harmed and deny their hurt under the consensus of "Well then maybe they shouldn't be there," in your average public space. Like, imagine thinking hating on children, people who need assistance and guidance, is something to be proud of.
#like ill never forget this lady talking about how she took her son to some ice cream or cookie place#and let him look at the display (which is normal) only to have to pull him away bc a man got way to close#and when she talked about how weird it was (which makes sense bc it was) people were blaming her for letting her child run free (which wasn'#t what happened people just threw that in there to justify their hate & dismissing of the potential harm a child could've experienced)#“i vote that dogs should be on plans more than children bc they aren't as annoying!” is gross and brain dead bc only one of those two can#use the bathroom while the other uses it on a mat something in which has potential to stink up a plane & annoy people as well#you just want to bring your dog on board without all the hoops so you act like hating children will solve it#and coming from an animal lover dogs and other pets have the ability to annoy you on flights just as much as children can let's think now#also ive seen people say that children are wrong for experiencing emotional outbursts and im like “while it can be frustrating having to#deal with acting like you weren't in their shoes once and trying to shame them for these emotions is such a jerk thing to do“#also like its guaranteed that kids are going to cry on planes how about instead of shaming them & their parents maybe idk buy soundproof hea#-dphones? like parents are going to bring their kids traveling (as is their right) and are educating them the best they can that's not going#to change so why not take simple steps to prepare instead of hating on little humans? just saying#again this is not for people who just don't want to have kids! people who don't are just as valid as people who do#don't let anyone tell you otherwise#miscellaneous#idk necessarily how to tag this tbh#rants#tw for mentions of children being harmed
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corporal punishment=/=abuse
corporal punishment=/=deliberately allowing a child to use a manual that would kill him in the long run
corporal punishment=/=allowing and enabling bullying in your own peak
corporal punishment=/=putting a child to sleep in a woodshed
corporal punishment=/=sending a child to fight against a demon elder
corporal punishment=/=pushing a child into literal hell
hope that helps ♥
#svsss#lol there's this “new�� sj stannie posting bullshit takes and their argument is ofc#“CoRpOraL pUniSHmeNT wAs nOrMaL iN anCIeNT tImEs”#which it's nothing new tbh i've heard that a few times already#also seems to be operating under the assumption that lbh was “rejected” by SJ???? lol no#SJ owned LBH basic human decency since he choose him as a disciple#i guess putting him to sleep in the woodshed and letting the other disciples mistreat and bully him was normal in ANCIENT TIMES too#why don't you go back to reading the qijiu extras#there's this part that I love#where SJ explicitly thinks that a 14 years old lbh should be dead already from using the fake cultivation manual#that's called premeditated murder attempt if you didn't know lol#discourse#shen jiu#fandom wank
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yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that’s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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And another thing (this is the last one, I promise, I will stop going on tags and rabbitholing my way into reading discussions i disagree with)
Another thing I don't know where came from is the idea that the rest of the party doesn't interact with their relationship, that it is something isolated and that the others don't comment or interfere with, that it's kept apart from the group, because that is simply not true?
I'm too lazy to look for exact quotes right now, but in episode 65 Ashton was the one, after Laudna's outburst, that insisted for her to go somewhere to reconnect with Imogen, sure Imogen kept saying she would be with Laudna, but Ashton very clearly knew that some time alone with Imogen could make her feel better.
But you also have other things sprinkled out through the campaign like the "are you staring because you are jealous?" From Fearne during the dusk arc, FCG after getting the share dream spell suggesting numerous times to use with them, FCG getting Imogen to kiss Laudna's forehead for the ritual, Orym comparing Imogen's loss to his own six years before, "that dead lady's got a lot of love in her heart", Ashton and FCG helping Laudna on the gift shop, Fearne trying to to help in episode 65 telling Laudna Imogen was thinking about her the whole time.
My point is the party is not alienated from them, they have private moments, sure, but some post I read was talking about how the party doesn't interfere with the "stagnation" of their relationship, which just sounds so weird to me? Where exactly do they need to interfere? Unless one of them was having trouble and was asking for advice (which is something that, ya know, happened) I don't see why they need to interject, unless you want their relationship/dynamic to change, because it is not your cup of tea, so it isn't that the other characters don't interact with their relationship is that you want the interaction to be different (which is valid, I disagree but everyone has their taste in shipping and fiction in general), but trying to say that they keep their relationship far removed from the others is not really true is it?
#i promise not to go on a rabbit hole again#i was looking for a special analysis of Imogen that i read before and disagreed with and ended up with three posts complaining about shit#which is not my normal at all so *sigh*#i'm going back to enjoying fandom now thanks#text#i don't even know if i should tag this tbh#🫣🫣#imodna#this one is probably safe#i just like being able to find things later#my last negative post three is too much for me#left in my drafts to think it over but let's post it#(as you can see i'm very conflict avoidant lmao)
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just a head's up: while I hesitate to call hiatus of any kind bc I want to give myself the freedom to write when I have the energy/focus/etc., I will just note that I'm gonna be even slower than usual around here for... idk, probably for a bit. I'm in the worst state mentally that I think I've ever actually been in and it's uhhhh. it's not great lmao. writing is my main escape & distraction so I don't want to step away from it but doing anything is hard as fuck rn so I'm really not interested in pressuring myself to get shit done when it comes to the hobby I'm supposed to be having fun with. I'll be slow, I'll be selective, and it's possible I'll be dropping a lot of drafts?? maybe?? OR at least like. temporarily removing a bunch from my drafts (to be added back later) just so the number is less big & overwhelming lmao.
thank u guys for ur patience w me & for writing w my glittery lil creature, I appreciate u all sm 💜
#so sick of this dude I want to feel my normal kind of bad. this new kind of bad is so hard to calm down & relax & not think with adjgksh#I am constantly antsy & feeling this awful existential dread & I haven't been able to be alone without spiralling#it's terrible. that brief period of feeling lighter yesterday did not last as long as I would have liked lmaodhfjsh#anyway. just wanted to make a note. I'll probably add smth about it to my pinned whenever I can crawl onto my laptop too tbh#but yeah. think it's gonna be rough for quite a while so idk idk I just want to feel a little more free#to do whatever I'm feeling the most around here (which should always be the case I know but I pressure myself ok I can't help it)#I need to stop typing bc I'll just keep rambling... brain won't shut up adjgksh#love u guys ok ty 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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Head in hands. 'I Spy' with Pulp is such a banger for Zor. It's giving me the urge to finally think about designing them (+ redesigning a couple others..). There's something so good abt some of the lyrics like: "you see I spy for a living // and i specialise in revenge // on taking the things that i know will cause you pain". Like....likee.............
Theres earlier parts that also make my brain tick: "it may look like to the untrained eye // im sitting on my arse all day // I'm biding my time until i take you all on // my lords and ladies, i will not fail // i will prevail, cause i spy"
PLUS the name. That did not help the situation. Alas Different Class by Pulp 🤝 IEYTD Characters. Similar can be said about the Chicago soundtrack but thats a. Whole other ramble
#and that whole other ramble is gonna take place in the tags rn#i have mentioned it a few times tbh but yk. yk i have given it more time.#for starters: roxie's suite is SO PHOENIX dear lord#it's this really upbeat jazz track which sounds SO IN PLACE with the rest of ieytd#furthermore: roxie is a very juniper aong ESPECIALLY early in his acting career brah#and later on is razzle dazzle thats. so juniper i will die on my hill it's SO juniper#when youre good to mama is very fabby to me it just oozes with this confidence and i just. with her higher up postion in zoraxis i like it#i can't do this alone is very fabby trying to convince solaris to work with her. i really like it in a sense she's trying to prove herself -#- to solaris ESPECIALLY because in the musical it's like a disingenuous want to work with the other which i also thinks fits#and then theres mister cellophane which HELLO REGINALD CRANE.#i can't quite place it but i think about it constantly. doesn't help that i love that song SO BAD#i tell ya cellophane mister cello phane should i bend my name mister cellophane#AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHBH GRGRGRRGRGRBBRGRGRGR#im normal i swear#cell block tango. i would love to do that with all the women/fem alligned people in ieytd because not ONE OF THEM have EVER caught a break#that's. all of them. bows.#i LOVE chicago SOOOOOO much its such a good musical#i have taken most of these songs out of context and i would love to do an in context au for them all#but trying to figure out who would be who is a problem tbh#I've mentioned it before qnd it's still something i mull over#sigh#anyways. pleade ask me abt ieytd and music i can yalk a lot as you can see#i think i will put#ieytd#because uhh rambles....auhh
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Welp I have some incredibly kind mutuals so I went and finished(?) that Nicky sketch from the other day lol. :] Mostly the same but I gave him some silly little tattoos and bling (and sweatpants- I can't draw clothes for the life of me but he deserves to be cozy lol)
Also bonus repost of an old Taylor doodle lmao ignore the eraser marks pleeease
#dndads#nick foster#see normally this is where I would get all self-depricating but actually I don't have the energy for that rn lol#Didn't have the heart to delete the og post either cause y'all left some very sweet comments haha warmed my heart tbh 💜#dndads fanart#“Now baba why on earth would Nick get a spider tattoo when he's afraid of spiders?” tbh idk either you should ask him#If you're wondering- I sort of imagine he's in the kitchen (Hell's kitchen) propping himself up onto the counter#to sit and chat with whoever is cooking- a habit that he got from Glenn which Jodie hates lol#dungeons and daddies#nicky freeman#taylor swift dndads#taylor swift#fanart#art#I imagine he would have gotten tattoos on his other arm too- maybe ones to remind him of his friends but. Well.#Also yeah I'm one of those freaks who draws Taylor without glasses lol- despite this I'm definitely pro Taylor with glasses#I do think he would wear contacts though- especially colored ones
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@wazzappp got me into ghost rider (v. robbie reyes) and let me play with some ideas plus mine.
so.
obviously, dying in a comic book universe means. less than nothing, half the time (unless you're a regular person, in which case rip), but man if your origin has you dying i think the technically completely and utterly dead angle should be leaned the hell in.
most of the time Robbie does look very alive from literally every standpoint (providing you dont look too close at his insides but. more on that later) but i think its fun to work with the idea that the magic/willpower/however it works has a time limit connected to his rider form-the longer he goes without transforming, the more it starts to fail, resulting in things like the vent and suit markings (<concept from wazzapp) becoming more prominent and metallic, his good eye getting milky and dull, any injuries gained not hurting, but also not healing, his skin losing vibrancy but also becoming kind of gray-ish because of increasing mercury levels in his blood (<another wonderful idea from wazzapp), and if he puts off burning up for long enough, even things like rigor mortis and livor mortis (blood pooling due to gravity) to start to set in if he stays still for long enough and coughing up toxic metal
by virtue of burning up his whole entire body, becoming the ghost rider resets the clock on his limit, although things get a bit wobbly once he realizes he's actually dead and he didn't resuscitate-resuscitate, on account of the wavering in the subconscious belief that helps hold him together
also, i think it's fun if Robbie's skull is always made of metal, not just when he's the Ghost Rider, it's just that. usually you can't see it (and bonus if he's working at least partially on zombie-esque rules, having metal protecting your brain is handy)
#robbie reyes#ghost rider#ANGR#im calling this#revenant robbie au#on account of marvel living and breathing alliteration#i will admit. idk how normal ghost riders work#bc. as you may have guessed on account of my pfp. and my url. and my alt. i specialize in spidey#mostly#and. im not reading all that when i have yet to reread spider-man to document all the laws he breaks (<for profit)#which. incidentally. crying in getting in deep over a character who has NO issues.#but also tbh. IDK bc i think ghost riders should all be freakier than they are#even apart from robbie#anyway yeah i think he's neat and im hitting him with my fuck you up for fun and profit beam#tw body horror#tw blood#i think anyway#zsketches
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It's always so very strange to me that some people seem to think I want Ganondorf to not be a war criminal and do nothing wrong and be little uwu baby when... like, I know people often don't follow the fanwork produced by a given blog and it's completely cool and neat and fine, but.
In Descant, not only do I explore some of the horrible stuff he does, I'm *adding* war crimes. I'm like, making him more indefensible.
#thoughts#ganondorf#descant of greatness#the way he handles his coup is very normal and not at all too much#there's a chapter coming about the gorons that's hmmm :) :)#the whole situation with serielle is just massively fucked up too (on every side tbh)#(the more I think about it and the more I get a clearer understanding of how everyone involved should be super cancelled)#I'm onboard for the war crimes!!!!!#((tho I do write in a non-zelda tone where there is very little whimsy which is not the tone the games should have))#((not at all what I'm advocating for I'm just doing my little thing))#((but still))
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honestly, roche is so easy sometimes bc if you give him the smallest amount of praise and comfort he’s yours bc he’s just been that affection starved for a good while
#⚡ ⸺ ❝ moghome . [ ooc ]#⚡ ⸺ ❝ moogle's cooking show . [ hc ]#roche ‘i’d bleed for anything if it held me the right way’ beaufort#i like toying around with the ways roche obtains self value tbh#also the fact he does see himself as weapon#he calls cloud his friend but doesn’t? know how to display that friendship. it’s based entirely on fighting each other#i feel like his morals are in conflict with where he is right now#but i also don’t think he greets desertion as easily as he’d like either#he’s very. ‘what else is there for me; should i survive?’#which is why he just keeps doing what he does but… paradoxically being in shinra also gives him meaning and identity#bc he never even got to explore his initially aspired avenues. he became SOLDIER at 13-14 and that was that#now he’s 25 and he’s like. ‘would i be able to live normally? what if i don’t want normal? what if this is who i am now?’#i’d love to write roche as a madman who gives no fucks but i sincerely find that boring#i want to give him inner conflict and that friction between his morals vs his identity
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to whatever demon thats entered me; thank you for making me work in drawing bc holy fucking shit i feel so good
#GDKWHRBS IM ACTUALLY NOT SEVERALLY DEPRESSED ABT IT#I CAN SORTA DRAW HOLY SHIT#I WASNT EVEN IFFY ABT THE LINE ART EITHER. I JUST STARTED GOING AND BOOM.#FJSJEHTBRKS ik they say dont shade with black however ☝️ what if i shade with a really dark red but lower the opacity? what then hmm?#(ik that rule only is supposed to be for some things not all. but tbh idk which its supposed to be for! 😭 i should really learn like.#anythint abt actually drawing bc i just had to look up what excatly is pin light on ibis 😭)#yeah uh. tbh chat. idk what the fuck im doing most of the time!#ive only recently figured out folders. which ig isnt too bad?? idk. uhhh if its been a year since they left around jan. then it should be#abt 2? years since i started using ibis. i think.#(i unironically didnt start out as digital purely bc sketchbook is a hard drawing app to use!)#(as in ‘i tried to colour smth brown on one layer using a normal brush and it made these reallt weird marks/lines where i went over it and#the opacity wasnt even down so i still dk what the fuck was up with it’ hard. also the undo button was really complicated. ily 2 finger und#3 redo 💞 i remember at first thinking that ibis was bullshit and stupid at first. look i wasnt smart alr? i couldnt even understand shit)#2023 shitty jiro looking at 2024: “who are you” 2024: “KILL YOURSELF” 🥰#i have alot of thoughts. its 6 am. im in a hotel room. i need to charge my phone real bad. jelp.
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Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous
Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really
#it speaks#white woman moment#its really funny bc like. its very much a her to jfk song#(everyones favorite problematic short king)#but she looks at him with uhhh#like heres this kid(hes 28) standing on the precipice o what she had been all those years ago#but he KNOWS it she didnt know she thought she had mold poisoning from her shitty apartment until she died#and she is projecting so much onto him. which is part of why she doesn't respect him at all#'im a sucker just like you'#its also funny bc like. it is Too Late for Phoenix.also its scary that theyre hungry bc as far as she knows death avatars arent supposed 2 b#but also theyre the first one shes met. and Phoenix is kind of just scary in general.#but being around those two is like. almost flashbacky(jfk also reminds her alot of her ex aroun that age tho audreys dad was Worse)#(she never met him but heard enough stories about the guy and i mean. he fed her to the hunt on purpose.#i dont think jorges dad wanted what was going to happen to happen)#part of why she texted her so fast tbh. not that they hadnt talked at all since the divorce.#i thinj they talked. not alot bc mel WAS in europe and international data rates pre smartphone age oof ouch#and also like. they did irrevocably harm eachother physically and mentally but they do both careeeeee#tho. i do not think melissa wouldve ever dropped everything to go help audrey like audrey would and did for her.#(girl who runs away from her problems x girl who is a dog)#auuughhhhhh#she really is my chew toy.#i also think alot about her sky mafia years but those r fun and sexy little secrets for me#as much as i love Basil's motw campaign i do with it was easier to unentangle her from tma lore.#bc like. normal vampire works well but it loses so much of the flavor. various sea beasts keep the flavor but loose the morality.#for pathfinder if i were to redo her id go with storm oracle and then spec into kineticist. which does work Ok I Guess.#but like. even that its still not what i want#one scene that probably would've never happened in game but i thought ahout if we ever went back to the item storage or maybe a wierd thrift#shop or something was to like. have her come across a violin and pick it up and make it scream horribly. like. really concentrate on making#it make the worst noise imaginable. shes trying to reach that wonderful horrible music avatars mention alot in the earlier seasons#and then realizes everyone else Hates That So Much and jokingly play one of the devil's riffs from tdwdg. tbh i should finally draw that
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i've been avoiding practicing driving because i've been preferring being in my own world lately and i HAVE to pay attention when driving so i just. don't. drive.
#😭😭😭 it's so bad right now it's so so so bad#like the serotonins are high but at the same time i have less than 2 months until my road test#i still have 2 lessons that i've paid for to book but when i tried my anxiety went 'uhm dont book those actually hahaha'#and now it's like THOSE COST $550 YOU BETTER FINISH THEM!!!!!!!!!#hoooly fuck. i cannot win.#i haven't been in the driver's seat in over 2 weeks#i drove successfully down one of the busiest corridors in the region and back and then never did it again akdjskdn#i feel like i really should start ADHD meds but i know there's some sort of restriction on it right now#and i don't think i could afford it#i've started drinking coffee again and i'm just. not doing great i think#video games are the only thing keeping me from falling apart and i'm letting my switch charge so i let my mind wander 🙃#kinda scared for next term since i've decided to keep going. applied for a new student loan and everything#and the one course i HAVE to take is supposedly really hard#(there's no lab at least which is good)#on tuesday i'll be normal again but right now i'm just. i want to play hades tbh#i hope there's enough battery in the switch and besides i think my laptop charger is down here#(it charges the switch fine despite being an apple charger lmao. i don't get it)#vent
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I can't even remember the last time I was this physically tired ugh
#personal#like it was a great event this weekend and it was good to see family but i feel like i got hit with a truck and then also drained of#all my blood or something#like not even just my normal sore pain flare up like actively Exhausted#which tbh the new having to get up early and also walking way more than im used to for new job are definitely compounding#i was going to force myself to do stretches but tbh i don't think i can#debating if bath is worth it or if i should just rest#hopefully another night of sleep will help
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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