#when they start rolling this out lol

[yuwuta]

gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 

[solradguy]

I thought the early 2000s "strong yet naked/mostly naked woman kept in her place by stronger, bigger, beast/monster or gang of racist caricatures" trope* was known by basically everyone but I mentioned it as a criticism of this older art book I'd flipped through recently to a friend and it turns out it isn't lol Maybe I've just read too many Heavy Metal issues... It used to be HORRIBLY inescapable in any sort of mature art scene back in the day lmao

*This trope is different from the pre-2000s one because the women usually look like they COULD fight back for at least a little bit whereas the previous trope had them be completely helpless damsels in distress

[stabbyfoxandrew]

:(

[charmedcleric]

The game really said fuck you lmao

[sea-jello]

long long time ago we were talking about the cursed realm being ninjagos version of hell and lil nas x call me by your name so here we are

[stepfordgoth]

There really is a kind of kinsmanship between redheads by default though tbh and obviously it varies from person to person but for me I always notice almost immediately whenever there's another redhead around when I'm in public and I love talking to them. Especially if it's just basic positivity and love about the redhead condition lol. We gingers really do need to stick together and be there for each other! All the little unique things that come with being a redhead can often only be fully understood, sympathized with, and given good guidance by other redheads.

[citrine-elephant]

thinkin about leon suffering blood loss, mild delirium, and laughing his fuckin ass off at nonsense while chris is trying to get this motherfucker to safety

leon's just in chris' chest, breathless and giggling, but he can't remember wtf it was about, and that's only fueling the giggle-fit.

for some reason,,,

[rotund-spheal]

Happy Pride I’ve got a reverse soul patch and I’ve never been happier 🥰🥰🥰🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ 💛🤍💜🖤

[dutybcrne]

Thunderings are happening, my brain has funneled off into hcs mode

[californianedgeworth]

might start posting more hades 2 spoilers (under "hades 2 spoilers" tag) but

I was stuck on the Scylla battle in Hades 2 for a while, but in my last run I beat it and kept on going until I got to Chronos!! YAY. I didn't beat him but I got halfway through his health bar (a quarter bcus I assume he probably has a second phase. but still)

[akkivee]

i played the homies hoods sneak peeks we have in order to see what the vibe’s like so far and devil’s flower followed by get busy is such a lethal combo like damn lmao

[pepprs]

mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol

[galaxywhale]

I spent most of the combat this session concentrating on silence and a bunch of times I was like hmmmm is this worth it or would I be better dropping it but afterwards, DM was like yeah Tabitha’s silence + (bloodhunter)’s grapple keeping my necromancer inside the silence really messed with my plan of how she was going to mess you up so 1) 😎 and 2) good grade in dnd, normal to want, possible to achieve etc etc

[peninkwrites]

Lines Drawn in Sand & Concrete - Ch 7 of ?

Sapnap gets a second job, Quackity continues to keep his enemies close, and Connor continues to have a bad time.

[CW: mentions police violence/abuse, c!Dream in the first scene]

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 6

Ch 8

Mafia AU

~ Sapnap & Quackity ~

When Sam was hospitalized, things started to change around the precinct, but that was nothing compared to what’s changed since Dream got rid of Sam and took his job.  The first warning Sapnap should have heeded was Dream’s thinly veiled threat,  “if we’re talking about associates of the Badlands, you of all people should watch your step, Officer Halo.”

That didn’t mean Sapnap fully abstained from talking to his best friend, because regardless of these changes, Sapnap isn't going to throw away a lifetime of loyalty over a few disagreements, however concerning they may be.  Captain Taken has gotten reckless, or rather ruthless.  He keeps on sending officers to the East side, which he knows is dangerous.  Every time Sapnap points out a patrol entering gang territory, Dream snaps back, “do you want the police to prevent crime, or not?”  At first Sapnap had tried to argue back, explaining why Sam had never sent patrols across the river at night, the bitter truth that they were meant to do damage control, not win the war, and Dream certainly hadn’t taken it well.

Sapnap thinks Dream is now trying to keep him out of the way.  Sapnap has spent very little time in the precinct and therefore can offer no criticism to Dream’s decision making.  Instead, he joins the ranks of cannon fodder sent across the river.  Sapnap assumes his best friend must still value his life a little as he hasn’t been sent over after dark.  Sapnap also notes that other officers seem to be taking the changes in stride.  Sapnap isn’t used to them acting like this, not merely enforcing, but downright cruel.  Sapnap can’t help but think that Sam would never stand for this, and part of him still hopes Dream won’t either, but he’s been proven wrong on a lot of things as of late.

Sapnap returns to the precinct after another uneasy patrol and heads right for the Captain’s office.  He stops himself from barging in at the last second and forces himself to knock.

“Enter.”

Sapnap does so.  He’s not used to this office being so empty.  When he’d been a rookie, the room had been all rainbows and proud-parent memorabilia, and under Sam’s reign it had been a mess of dog pictures and Ponk pictures and little mechanical things Sam liked to fidget with.  Now, there is nothing.  Just a shiny nameplate center stage reading out Captain Taken.  Behind it, sits the man himself, expression calm and inquisitive at Sapnap’s unexpected arrival.

“Hey, Dream, can I talk to you about something?” Sapnap shuts the door behind him.

“Is it about something personal, or work related?”

“Uh, work related?”

“Then, maybe don’t call me Dream,” Dream says it like he’s teasing, but Sapnap knows he’s serious.

“Sorry, Captain,” Sapnap says reluctantly.  “So, out on patrol today, some of the boys were being really shitty.  Really shitty again, like, this has happened more than once, y’know?”

“Shitty?  Shitty how?  That could mean literally anything,” Dream says dryly.

“Like, harassing civilians kind of shitty.  Like, being dicks to the homeless.  Earlier, Morgan and Grant were pushing around this guy who hadn’t done anything.  That sorta goes against the protect and serve deal, right?” Sapnap folds his arms over his chest, preemptively on the defensive.

“Well, was he loitering?”

Dream's blase nature turns Sapnap's irritation to anger.  “They didn’t just ask him to move, they threw the guy’s stuff in the river!” Sapnap says, antagonism and volume rising.  He forces himself to step back.  “Captain,” he adds bitingly like that will make a difference.

Dream is unfazed.  “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but there aren’t really any rigid laws against littering in the river, especially for a government department.”

“That’s… that’s not the problem with that.  Are you serious?” Sapnap doesn’t know why he’s still surprised by Dream letting him down. 

“Look,” Dream sighs.  “We have bigger concerns than a rookie throwing away some low-life’s garbage.”

“Officers under your control are harassing the homeless," Sapnap still tries, and he still expects reason.  "And that… that doesn’t bother you?”

“Not as much as the rampant violent crime we’re supposed to be dealing with,” Dream says dryly.  "But, fine, I'll... talk to them."

Sapnap tries to accept this, even as it feels like a dismissal rather than his concerns being taken seriously.  He knows it’s not worth arguing any further over, however much he hates it.  Bigger concerns feels like an understatement.  “Yeah.  Fine.  Any more bodies?”

“Always,” Dream sighs.  He scans the folder on his desk wearily.  Frustration bleeds through, his fist slams against the desk.  “The Badlands… there’s no way they’re still active, but if they’re not, why the hell are just as many bodies turning up?!”

Sapnap tries to keep focused and ignore his friend’s agitation, however uneasy it makes him.  “More bodies than before considering the serial killer,” he points out.  “And…” Sapnap frowns.  “Why would the Badlands have stopped?”

“Never mind, it’s just– Frustrating,” Dream sighs.

Sapnap hates it when they talk about the Badlands.  He misses when he wasn’t alone in that, if they have to talk about them.  “I bet Sam would know.”

Dream looks over at him sharply, genuine anger directed at him now.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sapnap scrambles to recover, thrown off by Dream’s defensiveness.  “Just like, the Badlands thing.”

“Shouldn’t you know, then?”

Sapnap feels like he’s been gut punched.  “No.  No, I was… Why would I know something, Dream?” He hates how quiet his voice gets.

“I dunno, maybe because you spent your childhood on the lap of the devil himself huh?” Dream says mildly, Sapnap reads it for what it is, an accusation.

Sapnap’s friendship with Dream was foundationally built on him not judging him for growing up alongside violence he had no control over, and on a dime it’s like Dream wants to revoke that history.  Sapnap defends himself in an old, familiar way, but he had never expected to have to use this line on Dream.  “I was a fucking kid.  I never had a choice.”  Something more personal follows, “you know this.  What’s wrong with you?  Why’re you acting like… like…” Like you see me the same way everyone else did.

Dream smiles.  “Sorry, Sapnap.  I wasn’t trying to make you nervous, it’s just… it’s an asset, actually.”

“An asset?” Sapnap says warily, still deeply unsettled, even more so by Dream calming so easily.

“Yeah!” Dream rummages for a different file.  “You heard anything about Las Nevadas?”

“No, what’s that?”

“It’s a casino.  Or, it’s going to be I guess.  The guy opening it used to work for JSchlatt, and I can almost guarantee it’s not going to be an above the board establishment,” Dream explains.

“Wait, why are we worried about something that’s not even open yet?” Sapnap frowns.

“Because, they were previously affiliated with organized crime, and I doubt they’ve magically turned their backs on it.  You of all people know it’s not that simple.”

“No, no it was turning my back on family, not… not the criminal parts.”

“Jeez, Sapnap, calm down,” Dream rolls his eyes.  “Don’t take everything so seriously.”

“What’s your point, Dream?” Sapnap says irritably.

Dream slides him a newspaper clipping.

LAS NEVADAS LOOKING FOR KITCHEN STAFF, SECURITY, AND CARD DEALERS.

It’s written in an ad in large, black lettering, details in smaller text below.  Dream taps the word SECURITY.  “Do you follow, Sapnap?”

“...No, not at all.”

“I want you to go undercover and pretend to work security at the casino!  Let me know when they fuck up and break the law, y’know?” Dream smiles like he’s offering Sapnap a gift.

“Dude,” Sapnap waits for Dream to admit that this is a joke.  He doesn’t.  “You want me to… to go undercover, which means making it look like I quit my job here, starting a new job at a place that I know nothing about, probably having to move out so we’re not living together just to be safe, and change a bunch of other shit in my life, on the off chance a guy who used to work for JSchlatt is still doing shady shit?”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Dream laughs.  “Come on, Sapnap.  This is some important work.  I wouldn’t be asking you if it wasn’t.  And considering your… troubled background, I think they’ll be more inclined to hire you instead of any old ex-cop.”

“Badlanders and Schlatt’s boys weren’t exactly best friends, Dream.”

“Well, good thing Schlatt’s dead and you don’t associate with the Badlands anymore, right?” Dream replies smoothly.

Sapnap struggles to process.  “Shouldn’t we be focusing on the serial killer?”

“We have people working on it, just not you, Sapnap,” Dream says patronizingly.

Sapnap tries again.  “What if I say no?  Turn down the assignment?”

“You’d rather have desk duty?” Dream responds just as icily.  “I’m your Captain, I am giving you your assignment, I expect you to follow through.  Or you can get out just like Sam did.  You’re not supposed to actually be a Badlander, just pretend to have been one.  Don’t make me treat you like you’re actually a problem.”

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Sapnap says before he can stop himself.

“What’s my problem?!  I’m not the one disobeying orders!” Dream snaps back immediately.

“This isn’t about orders!  You’re not just supposed to be my boss, you’re my friend,” Sapnap wishes he just sounded angry instead of hurt.

Dream sighs.  “Yeah, yeah I am your friend.  And I’m your boss.  This is… this is important to me, Sapnap.  I don’t know why you can’t take that seriously.”

“I am taking this seriously.  I seriously am,” Sapnap says fiercely.

“I don’t know if you are.”

A pause, the two men staring each other down.  Sapnap takes a step back.

“Fine.  I’ll… I’ll try to go undercover.  I dunno if me showing up and saying I’m from the Badlands means they’re gonna roll out the red carpet for me.”

“I mean, I still think it’ll be better than just showing up as an ex-cop.  They hired Sam just fine,” Dream shrugs.

“What?”

“Sam is working there, apparently.  I’m guessing also in security, so I thought that might give you an in.  But you cannot tell him what you’re really doing there, got it?”

“Yeah, yeah I got it,” Sapnap is feeling almost dazed.  He feels like Dream is shoving him toward a past he had tried so hard to abandon, but he trusts him.  If this is important, he’ll do it.

~

Quackity is getting desperate.  He feels surrounded on all sides, and his single shred of security is an ex-cop fresh off crutches.  He wants something more than this, but his reputation proceeds him, and anyone honest or honorable recognizes his name and runs.

Really, he could tolerate having one member of security watching his back, the bigger issue is Karl.  Every day Karl goes to work, leaves his sight, and Quackity watches him go with dread.  Quackity would send Sam to guard Karl, but Sam is meant to be his head of security, which means he needs to be around to help with the planning for Las Nevadas.  He tried to get Karl to take a gun.

“I’ve never used a gun before, and I don’t plan on starting now.  And I don’t think Tina would appreciate me bringing one into her bookstore,” Karl had told him gently.

“What if it keeps you safe?”

“Anyone sent to kill me, Q, is definitely gonna have a faster trigger finger,” Karl explained in the most brutally honest way possible, in that same sweet voice of his.

“Damn you, Karl,” Quackity sighed.  “Can’t you just give into my paranoia for once in your fucking life?”

Karl grinned.  “No, I don’t think I’m gonna, actually.”

So, Quackity continues to hunt for someone who will fire a gun on Karl’s behalf.  Quackity is desperate, but when the scruffy, unsure man, dark hair pulled back and hands in his pockets, comes in and asks Foolish about a job listing, Quackity’s first impulse is to send him away.  Karl is still with him for the morning, and had followed him downstairs to meet this mysterious applicant.  Quackity takes one look at the man, and pulls Karl aside.

“Yeah, no.  No fucking way.  I can smell it on him.”

Karl giggles, eyebrows raised.  “You can smell him from here?  Smell what?”

“Pig!  The guy is a fucking pig.”

“You can smell that?” Karl teases.

“No, no I can’t literally, oh my god, I mean his stupid fucking narc shoes!” Quackity hisses, nodding to the black boots every stupid cop wears.

“His… shoes.”

“Yes, his shoes,” Quackity says grumpily.

“Well, if he’s currently a cop, why is he looking for a job, then?  And if he’s a former cop, I mean, you had no issue hiring Sam,” Karl points out.

“Sam is– Sam is different,” Quackity deigns not to explain the difference being he has something he can hold over Sam.  It wouldn’t be very in line with his promises to Karl to stay out of organized crime.

“You need more security, Quackity.  What’s the harm in just talkin’ to him?  Besides, he’s cute,” Karl nudges him playfully.

“Fine, fuck.  You’re coming with me, though,” Quackity says before sulking across the lobby to where Foolish had kept the man occupied.

“Hi.  I’m Quackity HQ, the owner.  How can I help you?” Quackity smiles and he knows some people can read the threat behind it.  He isn’t sure if this man can.

“Uh, hi.  I saw the… the ad.  For the job.  The security one,” he says with an awkward nod.

“Right, right, what’s your name?”

“I’m Sapnap.  Sapnap Halo?”

Halo.  Interesting.  “Well, Sapnap Halo, do you have… any qualifications?” Quackity keeps up that smile, half hoping to scare the guy off.

“Y-Yeah!  I… I used to work in law enforcement, I mean, your other staff member Sam can… vouch for me?” Sapnap Halo sounds unsure.

“Used to be?  Why’d you quit, Mr. Halo?” Quackity is calculating multiple things at once.  Halo.  Sam.  Narc shoes.  Familiar.

Sapnap shrugs.  “Didn’t like the new management.”

“Is that so?  You could’ve just requested a transfer.” Quackity deigns to ask Sam privately about the guy later.  “So, why are you interested in Las Nevadas?”

Sapnap clearly hadn’t planned out any answers beforehand.  He looks mildly startled.  “Uh, gambling is… fun.  Like, it’s exciting.  And I know private security is pretty boring, so… I thought maybe this place could be cool?”

“I know you,” Quackity says, eyes narrowed.

The man looks almost alarmed.  “You… do?”

Something clicks into place.  “You’re the guy who showed up to harass a teenager after his dad died.”

Sapnap Halo looks offended.  “You’ve gotta be confusing me for someone else, there’s no way in hell I’d do that.”

“No, it was definitely you,” Quackity takes a step closer.  “You and that grumpy little cop turned up and interrogated a barely legal kid without an attorney present, ring any bells?”

Sapnap’s eyes widen.  “You’re… right.  You’re Quackity HQ.”

“Obviously.  You didn’t know that going in?”

“I mean, kind of, but I didn’t like, connect dots I guess–” Sapnap shakes his head.  “But wait, I didn’t… I didn’t harass anyone.  I tried to… to help the kid, he was going through something fucked up.”

“Help him?  Really?  Why the fuck would you want to help someone like him?” Quackity is openly hostile now, shark-like smile gone.

“Cause I get it, y’know?” Sapnap looks deeply uncomfortable, bouncing back on his heels.  “Complicated dads and shit.”

Quackity laughs harshly.  “Complicated.  Right.”

“No, seriously, I…” Sapnap trails off, clearly warring over something.  There’s a pause, Quackity letting him simmer.  “You… you used to work for JSchlatt.”

“I was his lawyer,” Quackity says, voice taut, a warning.

“So, like, you get that businesses like that aren’t… uh, squeaky clean?” Sapnap says awkwardly.  He sighs.  “Look, I’m trying to say I don’t care about the illegal shit.  Especially not whatever some kid got wrapped up in ‘cause of his dad, because, well.”  Sapnap winces, as if bracing himself.  “I’m the son of the leader of the Badlands.  Y’know, Halo?  Does that… does that count for anything in me getting the job?” He asks sheepishly, shoulders raised and tense as he shrinks down, waiting for the fallout.

“You’re…” Quackity is briefly thrown off.

“Ohhh.  Halo.  Duh,” Karl finally chimes in.  “I didn’t know Bad had a kid.”

Quackity elbows him lightly.  He doesn’t want Sapnap to know how well he knows his father.

“Um.  Sorta estranged,” Sapnap mutters.  “Fuck, I shouldn’t have said anything, look, I just… really need this job, alright?”  He stands up straight, as if preparing for a fight.  “I don’t care what you guys are involved in, I’ll… I’ll do good work, and I’ll mind my own business.  Is that an alright offer?”

“Hm,” Quackity eyes him carefully, calculating.  “You got a resume?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Sapnap nods quickly and pulls a very folded sheet of paper out of his pocket.

“Charming,” Quackity accepts it with dry sarcasm.  “Give me a minute to consult with my team,” Quackity retreats to the back hallway, Karl following, and after a wave to flag him down as part of the team, Foolish joins as well.  “Sam!  Get over here,” he drags his head of security into the mix.

“What’s going on?” Sam frowns.

Quackity shoves the crumpled resume into his hands.  “One of your old pals at the swine factory came waltzing in asking for a job.”

Sam’s frown deepens when he sees the name.  “Sapnap?  He quit the force?”

“Allegedly, he did,” Quackity folds his arms over his chest, waiting for Sam’s assessment, Foolish and Karl watching on with far less concern.

“Did he say why?” Sam asks carefully.

“Said he didn’t like the new management,” Quackity huffs.

Sam passes back the resume, shaking his head.  “That doesn’t make sense.  His best friend is the new management.  My guess would be he’s undercover, but I don’t know what Dream’s priorities are if he’s sending his right hand man here.  Last I heard, they were dealing with a serial killer.  And so far, we’re… well, as upstanding an institution as a casino can be.  If you want my advice, no.  Whatever he’s up to, it’s a risk to hire him.”

Quackity nods curtly, mulling it over.  “I mean, I hired you.”

“Yeah, but you know I quit being a cop,” Sam points out.

“What about… what about in general.  Is this guy… decent?” Quackity feels a bit ridiculous asking Sam this, but he doesn’t really have anything else to go on.

“Sapnap?  Yeah.  He was a good kid, and one of the best cops I know,” Sam nods.

Quackity’s lip curls in disgust.  “Well, I’ll try not to hold that against him.”

“No, I mean, he was… he wasn’t always great at being a cop, because, well, in the early days because he was reckless and had something to prove, but in general, he actually took the innocent-until-proven-guilty thing seriously,” Sam says earnestly, before growing gloomier.  “I mean, just ask Ponk.  Sapnap was getting on my case about not waiting on them hand and foot…”

“Yeah, you’d rather break hands than wait on someone, huh?” Quackity says dryly.

Sam clearly wants to make a bitter retort, but he holds back.  “The point is, I trust him.  He’s good to his word, and honestly he’s one of the worst liars I know.  Whatever he’s doing here, you’ll probably figure it out in a matter of days.”  He adds pointedly, “not that I suggest you take the risk considering there’s no way Sapnap would just up and quit the force.  Not even because I think Dream is going to keep treating him fairly, but because I know Sapnap would stick around anyway.  The kid is loyal to a fault, but if you’re going to do it anyway, oddly enough, there’s no one I’d rather hire,” Sam frowns, as if troubled by the thought.

“Hm,” Quackity mulls this over.  He needs security because he needs Karl safe.  He could hire this guy, and keep him well away from their business, and know Karl is protected.  He also would feel better knowing exactly who the plant is, if the police are really set on nosing into his business.  “Thoughts?” He glances at Foolish and Karl.

“I don’t care.  He seems chill,” Foolish shrugs.  “I don’t know him super well, not now at least, but I hung out a bit with him when we were kids, or, teenagers I guess.  Post-kidnapping.”

“You did?” Quackity gives him a surprised look.

“Yeah!  Yeah, my dad and his dad would meet up and would have us like hang out together.  I mean, we mostly talked sports, but he was cool.  Really treated me like one of the guys, which, y’know, at the time meant a lot,” Foolish shrugs.

“I don’t know him,” Karl offers helpfully.  “And it’s your call, Q.”

“Okay, but it’s important to me I get your approval, Karl.  Him or Sam is gonna start following you around,” Quackity points out.

Sam takes issue with this.  “I’m needed here, Quackity, you know that–”

“It’s whatever Karl is more comfortable with,” Quackity cuts him off sharply, looking back to his boyfriend.

“Oh! Uh,” Karl glances at Sam, and then back toward the lobby.  Karl shrugs.  “I mean, sounds like we should keep him away from the business stuff.  And I don’t mind,” he grins. “He’s cute.”

Quackity rolls his eyes fondly, “you’re gonna go flirt with the enemy, huh?”

“Keep your enemies close, right?” Karl waggles his eyebrows at him.  “Maybe I can get him to spill his secrets with some of my good looks and oodles of charm.”

“We’re not marrying the guy, I haven’t even gotten a ring for you yet,” Quackity teases.

“I told you I’d be happy with a ring pop,” Karl says.

Sam and Foolish exchange a glance, used to the couple getting sappy on them.  “You should probably go tell him he’s hired, then,” Sam interjects.

“Oh, right, yeah,” Quackity nods.  “And Karl, actually, if you’re hanging around the guy, and he does anything weird, or you can worm anything out of him…”

“I’ll tell you, Q, obviously,” Karl says, taking Quackity’s hand.  “Let’s go invite him to the polycule.”

Quackity scoffs, “you’re the worst.”

Karl giggles, “I’m hilarious.”

Sapnap has been staring at the casino with unsure curiosity.  The place is nearly finished, in opulent glory, using the original molding of the bank, white pillars trimmed with gold, and marbled tile.  He gives Sam a nod of greeting, focus more on Quackity.

“Welcome to Las Nevadas, Mr. Halo,” Quackity smiles, offering him a hand.

“So, I got the job?” Sapnap seems surprised.

“If you want it?” Quackity says dryly.

“No, yeah, I do,” Sapnap nods.

He accepts the handshake, and Quackity at least commends the man for not holding on too tight in some pathetic macho display.  Karl is right.  Quackity had thought it too, even when the man was still in his stupid uniform, he is handsome.  More so now without the pig suit.

“Sam will get you the paperwork, and you’ll start first thing, alright?  Can you do that?” Quackity asks.

“Y-Yeah, first thing like, now, or..?” Sapnap asks uncertainly.

“Well, today Sam can show you the ropes, but properly you’ll start tomorrow morning.  Do you have a gun?”

“Do I..?” Sapnap trails off.

“Do you have a license to carry?” Quackity says slowly.  “Or did they take that with your badge?”

“I mean, they took my gun that I used on duty, but I… yes, I have license to carry,” Sapnap fumbles out an answer.  Sam was right.  He’s a terrible liar.

“Bring that tomorrow too.”

“Got it, Mr. HQ,” Sapnap nods.

Quackity leaves, Karl follows, and then it’s just Sam and Sapnap.  And Foolish.

“This must be fun, huh?  Old buddies working together again?” Foolish says brightly, nudging the two of them comraderally.

Sam and Sapnap exchange an uneasy glance.  “Right.  Foolish, aren’t you supposed to be picking up the tables for the opening night?”

“Shit, yeah, yep, and I was supposed to be there 20 minutes ago,” Foolish winces.  “Bye, team!”  He leaves.

Now it just Sam and Sapnap.

“So, quit the force, huh?” Sam says dryly, clearly skeptical.

Sapnap doesn’t defend himself outright, scanning the casino as if he’ll find something hidden between the slot machines.  “Dream has kinda lost it.  A bit,” he says carefully.

Not what Sam was expecting.  “Lost it?  Lost it how?”

Sapnap wavers, clearly holding something back.  “He’s sending more guys across the river.  And when I try to report them for acting out on civilians, Dream doesn’t give a shit.  Or… didn’t give a shit, I guess.  Since that’s not my problem anymore,” Sapnap says reluctantly.  “I didn’t want to leave, but Dream was really starting to freak me out.”  Sapnap glances at Sam uneasily.  “He started… he started talking about my… affiliation with the Badlands.”

“What affiliation?  A dad you haven’t spoken to in like eight years?” Sam scoffs.

Sapnap shrugs.  “I dunno.  He… he wasn’t acting like my Dream anymore.”

Sam grows less skeptical and instead more concerned, even more, he’s starting to believe maybe Sapnap had left the force.  “I’m sorry, Sapnap.  I don’t love him stabbing me in the back, but for you, it’s…” Sam doesn’t know how to console Sapnap.  In Sam’s mind, Sapnap had always been wrapped up in Dream, it’s almost difficult to disconnect the two.  “Do you have somewhere to live?  You and Dream were housemates, right?”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be alright.  Gonna get a studio on the East side.  Part of why I… really need a job,” Sapnap once more assesses the casino with something like trepidation.

“Quackity can be intimidating, but don’t let him bother you,” Sam nudges him gently.  “Come on, I’ve been going to town setting up security cameras and such.  It’s a bank, so the layout is perfect for controlling who goes in and out.”

Sapnap follows him and allows Sam’s enthusiasm for systems and mechanisms to fill the melancholy still lingering in his chest.  He still doesn’t want to let Dream down, but he’d meant what he said.  He doesn’t know if it’s the same best friend he’d trusted with his life.

~

Sapnap shows up for work on time and wary at 10 o’clock.  Quackity HQ is waiting for him, cool, collected, wearing a white button down and red suspenders and a few gold rings.  Quackity doesn’t waste time with small talk.

“Now, most of the time, you’re gonna be protecting Karl for me, but forgive me if I want to do a little trial run before I trust you with him,” Quackity says, immediately heading back out the door, Sapnap close behind.

“And… Karl is your partner?” Sapnap asks slowly.

“Yeah, light of my life, my soul, my everything,” Quackity says mildly, as if making an offhanded comment about the weather, but it doesn't make Sapnap doubt that he means it.  “I’ll make sure your priorities are clear later, I’ve got a meeting to get to, which means we've got a meeting to get to,” Quackity nods him to a sleek black car.  “I know you work for me, but I’m driving.”

“Yeah, fine with me,” Sapnap gets in the passenger side.  “Who’s your meeting with?  If… if you don’t mind me asking.”

“The Mayor.”

“The Mayor?” Sapnap blusters.  “I mean, the guy has his own security all over the place, why do you need me there?”

Quackity gives him a look, amused.  “Think of it like training wheels.”

“You think I need training wheels?”

“Haven’t decided yet.  Maybe.  Let’s see how my meeting goes, huh?”

“I dunno how you’re planning on testing my skills.  Are people really trying to kill you that much?” Sapnap retorts in the same half-teasing tone Quackity has taken on.

“This is more making sure you can stay out of my way, how about that?” Quackity replies dryly.  Sapnap huffs a noncommittal reply, and quiet falls for a few blocks.  Quackity doesn’t tolerate the lull in conversation for long.  “So.  You’re a Halo, not only that, but Bad’s only son.  And… you decided to be a cop?”

Sapnap perhaps should’ve expected this line of conversation, considering for the first time in however many years he name-dropped his father, mostly out of a panicked impulse as it seemed he wasn’t going to get the job.  Stupid of him either way.  “Uh, yeah, I don’t… I don’t really talk to my dad anymore.  I didn’t agree with a lot of the shit he was doing, so.  I’d appreciate it if you didn’t hold it against me, or like, casually bring up my estranged family.”

It’s Quackity’s turn to look uncomfortable, even guilty.  He tries to mask it.  “Got it.  I won’t touch the daddy issues.”

Sapnap tries not to take offense to that, and an uneasy silence settles over the rest of the drive.

They do not pull up outside of City Hall, rather, the somewhat tired looking mansion the Mayor has always lived in, old money with a hint of frat-boy chic.  As they approach the door, Quackity is back to business.  “You’ll join me in the meeting, unless the Mayor asks for you to wait outside.  You won’t join in the conversation, got it?”

“Yes Sir,” Sapnap says, sarcasm very poorly contained, earning a look from Quackity that Sapnap almost thinks might be amused.

Quackity rings the bell, and a member of staff answers.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“Yeah, Mayor Hedge is expecting me.  Quackity HQ?” Quackity’s dry, sharp humor turns to charm the moment the door opens.  He’s all smiles and niceties.

“Right this way, Mr. HQ,” the man nods the pair of them inside.

“Connor!” Quackity greets the Mayor with his first name and open arms.

The Mayor, quite frankly, looks like shit.  His suit is wrinkled, and there are bags under his eyes, and his expression could best be described as miserable and failing at his attempt to look brave about it.

“Hey, Quackity.  Good to see you, man, good of you to come and see me,” Connor hugs him, clapping him on the back with something concerningly desperate in his mannerisms.  “Who’s this?”

“Oh, Sapnap Halo,” Quackity says dismissively.  “He’s my new security, so, he’s sticking with me for his first day on the job.”

“Hi,” Connor says shakily.

“Uh, hi,” Sapnap had low expectations for the Mayor, his reputation proceeds him, but he’s almost impressed that the man in the flesh is somehow even worse, in a sad wet cat sort of way.

“Come in, come in,” Connor waves them into a lounge that must have been quite nice once, and is instead a bit worn down, the occasional modern fixtures clashing poorly with the original furniture.  There’s a foosball table that definitely doesn’t belong.  “Sit,” Connor gestures to the couch across from him.  Quackity sits, Sapnap remains standing, just behind the sofa.  It feels like what he’s supposed to be doing, at least.  On the coffee table, there is a tray with an open bottle of liquor.  Connor starts pouring two glasses.  “D’you want ice?”

“No, I’m good, Connor,” Quackity takes this all in stride.  He does not glance back to his new ex-cop staff member to see his reaction to the Mayor doing something illegal in front of both of them, but Sapnap, as he stares between the two of them, thinks Quackity is smirking.  Sapnap, cop or not, isn’t a saint committed to abstaining from all wrong-doing.  He’s gotten drunk at a speakeasy or two, or three, or more, over the years.  Really, he’s mildly impressed by how casual the Mayor is being.  Maybe Sapnap shouldn't have had a standard for him to begin with.

“You?” Connor waves the bottle in Sapnap’s direction.

“He’s on the clock, I’m afraid he won’t be joining us,” Quackity answers for him.

Connor shrugs.  “Fine,” he takes a swig, ice clinking loudly in his glass.  Quackity takes a much smaller sip, before setting the glass down.  Connor continues, “so, Quackity.  You been doing alright?  Coping okay?” Connor’s concern seems genuine, if messily presented.

“I mean, it’s hard,” Quackity sighs heavily.  “I miss him every day.  I’m sure you can relate.”

“Yeah… relate…” Connor mumbles, and Sapnap realizes his lip is trembling slightly.  Connor sniffs loudly, wiping his nose on his suit jacket sleeve.  “I… I miss him so much, man.  He was such a riot, y’know?  No one else parties like Schlatt,” he says wetly.

“You could say that again,” Quackity agrees smoothly.

Schlatt.  Quackity is visiting the Mayor to talk about Schlatt?  Sapnap briefly, wildly, thinks maybe this information might actually be useful to him, but from the current direction of the conversation, he has doubts.

“No one else parties like Schlatt…” Connor mumbles, taking another sip of his drink.  “Fuck, man.  I think this is hard, but… but what about you, right?  Wasn’t he… wasn’t he like, your husband or something?”

Sapnap sees Quackity visibly tense, but his voice remains calm and friendly.  “No, he definitely wasn’t.”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Connor gives him a tragically earnest and sympathetic look.  “You guys didn’t even get to tie the knot, huh, before he…” Connor gets too choked up to continue.

“How about you, Connor?” Quackity is quick to change the subject.  “I mean, I’d say you were his best friend.”

“Really?” Connor’s eyes are shining with tears.  “Fuck, man, I never told him that I felt the same way!” He’s almost wailing.

If Sapnap recalls correctly, Schlatt died over a month ago.  And Connor is still this broken up about it?  How does anything get done?  Although, if Sapnap really thought about it, he’s not totally sure what the Mayor actually does.  Quackity stands, circling the coffee table to sit beside Connor, a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“He knew, Connor.  I know he did,” Quackity says with such firm insistance, Sapnap can almost mistake it for being sincere.  “I actually… I wanted to talk to you about honoring his memory.”

“Huh?” Connor looks over at him blearily.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it, and there’s one change that you could make, Connor.  You could use your position for good, and honor Schlatt in a way I really know he’d appreciate,” Quackity says earnestly.

“Something I can do?  What can I do?”

Quackity’s kind smile stiffens slightly into shielded exasperation.  “You’re the Mayor, Connor.”

“True!” Connor points at him amicably.  “True…”

“There’s something we both know was very near and dear to his heart, that the rest of the city doesn’t get to truly appreciate, y’know?  But you could change that.”

Connor sniffs, looking at Quackity hopefully.  “What?”

They stay for another tearful half hour, but the deal was done.  Sapnap doesn’t say a word until they’re halfway down the drive, Quackity striding ahead, hands in his pockets and a skip in his step.

“You just ended the prohibition by… handing the guy a tissue and playing along for an hour?” Sapnap says the moment they’re out of earshot of the house.

“Oh, is that what I did?” Quackity grins back at him, smug as a fox.  “I thought I was just consoling a very dear friend and… making a suggestion.  And maybe it’s also beneficial to myself.  A good casino could use a bar, y’know?  And I don’t think I ended it just yet, let’s see if he can actually pull it off first.”

“Sure, whatever, man, but you…” Sapnap is genuinely impressed.  “You know how to push people around, huh?”

Quackity’s cockiness wanes into something more bristled as he heads for the driver’s side.  He doesn’t care for that wording, it reminds him of someone he’d prefer to stay dead.  “I don’t know if I’d call it that.  More like… guidance.”

“Right,” Sapnap says doubtfully.  “Hey, dude, you did have like, two and a half drinks, and the Mayor is a heavy pour.  I should probably drive.”

Quackity pauses and genuinely listens, if only out of surprise.  “It’s your first day following around your new boss, and you’re calling me dude?” He raises his eyebrows at him.

“Sorry, uh.  Force of habit,” Sapnap says sheepishly.  “Past ten years, my boss has always been kinda a buddy of mine.  Keys?”

Quackity, grudgingly, tosses them to him.  “A buddy of yours…” he mutters somewhat mockingly.  “Well, I wouldn’t call us buddies, Mr. Halo.  Even if I’m letting you drive my car.”

“Got it.  No more ‘dude’s,” Sapnap says dryly.  “I mean, no more ‘dude’s, sir.”

That gets another laugh out of Quackity as he settles into the passenger side.  “You passed the first test,” he says, and he almost sounds approving.

“Huh?”

“You’re not such a buzzkill or a narc that you were gonna tell the Mayor off in his own home.  Low bar, like, exceedingly low bar, but like I said, the first test.”  Quackity doesn't voice it aloud, keeping tally more for himself, that Sapnap also hasn't asked about Schlatt.

Sapnap glances at him, intrigued.  “What’s the second test, then?”

“You not fucking up my car.”

[unproduciblesmackdown]

take my hand imagining the fic of the moving, heartwarmingly beautiful postcoital scene that is, say, amidst the vulnerability there's cyril being caught up in undastardly emotions like the building effects of hours of christmas love on display plus just some fun and reminiscing with a henchman (fucking the krampus) which then must transition into noticing other building effects to then be like hmm perhaps i have to go to the rich person's hospital because having some overly intense/persistent pain &/or difficulty here....and because the legend of the krampus is "helpful little guy" (it's not Not. santa sidekick, even) and here especially being really quite affable like would lend that physical aid & escort but also, just maybe, accompany cyril to said hospital. and that is where it can be the krampus who has been hearing a nonzero amount about a rufus who can make discoveries and facilitate this reunion imo in addition to being an audience for it firsthand to be all :o ;o; about the wonders & joys of it all like and as with so many things gay sex made it all possible this year, & now to go inform an xmas show that it's fine actually, just in time for another amazing beautiful reunion. now take my hand imagining the fic entitled "saks nineteenth avenue" like, yes don't maybe Too sexy. Laughs

[non-un-topo]

Have to thank my partner for realizing before I did that talking about kids with people makes me extremely dysphoric --- whereas I thought I just had a problem and hated children or something lol