#when I realized I have to go to work
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Work starts tomorrow…
#personal#i hate my job daily#haven’t replied to anyone my skin is dry I’m dehydrated#I’m a mess and I haven’t taken a shower in two days like yesterday I got this feeling of doom take over me#when I realized I have to go to work#I’m waiting for a position but they’re so vague about it’oh this mont definitely 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 maybe next month’#like which is it my mental health depends on this#I should be on suicide watch I’m not even kidding LMFAOOOOO like when I’m driving to work I beg god to just put me in an accident and#take me out#oops got to personal there anyway had a bomb ass sandwich today too tho so I’ll try to stand up and finish my human tasks drink water reply#Etc etc eeughhh
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I'm not going back to Gusu with you.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Those last two high effort comics where just a warm up for this masterpiece. My true magnum opus.#I was originally going to do this gag as a 'alternate version of comic 155'#Then I realized that they have the 'Come back to Gusu with me' conversation twice. So here we are!#I did consider having WWX say 'I'm not going back to gusu with you' in the comic for the better plot accuracy.#I'm invoking the rule of silly by having Wei Wuxian read between the lines of 'Come back to Gusu with me'.#Because it does feel like a confession! It is a confession of 'I care about your safety and I worry for what may happen.'#It is also poorly articulated. You can't really blame WWX for reading into it as 'LWJ is just another person trying to control me.'#The relationship between them is not good! It is two parties who genuinely want to be closer with each other but cannot communicate it.#You can't really have what makes these two work so well as a dynamic without the past history of:#“Back then I really wanted to be your friend.” They are a *missed connection*!#WWX reaches out and LWJ rejects him. And now when LWJ reaches out it is WWX who pushes them apart.#It is a tragedy about the consequences of being out of tandem and realizing what you want far too late.#The momentum of WWX's downfall is far to fast to reverse now. It's a 'When' not ''if' question.#Back to your normal style of PD-MDZS next update. Thank you for reading!
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When you spend 20 years attempting to bring down the child slavery, murdering, human trafficking exploitation ring that stole your childhood, murdered your friends, and killed countless innocents only to have them rebrand as 'Noble Freedom Fighters™' off-screen.
#rip zevran's crusade against the crows >:(#when people said they wanted to be crows they didn't want devs to make the faction nice so we won't feel bad or conflicted about it#people wanted to be conflicted! they wanted to see the faction in all its glitz and glamour - then see what it hid beneath all the mystique#choose to play as a crow that loves the life/hates it/is undecided/etc...#but i'm sorry i forgot that this game doesn't want to do 'role play' options my bad#i will not stand for this zevran erasure!!!#yes i've seen the codex entry that goes on about 'other crows are joining zevran' blah blah#have the antivan crows faced with a threat that challenged their outlook on why they fight#have the talons be the one to sell out antiva! in exchange for allowing their business to resume (have it be a sneaky reveal!!!)#their work has purpose and order to it so the antaam might agree! they're like 'babys first ben-hassrath!'#have Crows look around at their own home - see the vendor they bought fruit from disappear or the smiling old lady now cowed by grief#then have them decide to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT#have a schism! have Zevran take in Crows who are unhappy - have them realize how shit the organization is!#boom! somewhat-noble freedom fighters! (they're doing their best okay)#or they can be 'idealists' from the get-go - thanks cursed AMA thread#my art <3#dragon age#datv critical#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#zevran arainai
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I've seen a lot of different takes on Fear Toxin/other fear causing stuff (Yellow Lanterns Ring or something)(later just called Fear Toxin cause I'm lazy) but here is another one.
Danny seems like he isn't affected by Fear Toxin because his biggest fear is that his accident changed him so much he is no longer human, he can no longer truly experience human things.
So when he gets lungful of fear Toxin, he feels normal. He was antsy before, because c'mon, it's a rogue attack but it's not worse. Or so he thought. Because the anxiety lingers. Not enough to register as abnormal just this slight hypervigilance that makes you see things about yourself and your surroundings that you'd never realize otherwise. He'd realize he doesn't blink as often. He'd realize that if he doesn't consciously focus, he sometimes seems to not touch the ground. Forgets to breathe. He can't feel his own pulse at time. He'd realize people will miss him when he's walking down the street as if he was invisible (people just don't care about everyone they pass by). When he'd look straight into his reflection, he'd look slightly to the left. Not enough to actually name anything that was wrong but just stretched enough to fall on the wrong side of the uncanny valley. If he just caught his reflection in the peripheral vision, it'd be vaguely shadowy creature with glowing green eyes and white smoke instead of hair. Overall he'd be just wrong enough to be distinctly not human.
For everyone else, he'd be just a dude. Literally couldn't find more normal dude than this dude. Will pass as absolutely normal human unless someone is specifically looking for ecto-ghost stuff. Even most magic users wouldn't clock him at the glance
Tldr: Fear Toxin makes Danny perceive himself as some sort of eldritch horror but not enough to make him believe he'd actually be affected, while from outside perspective he's Just A Dude™
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#fear toxin#please no Ghost King#nothing against this au but i don't think it'll mesh well woth this idea#probably works best with danny soon after accident#maybe still believing all of his parents anti-ghost propaganda#that'd add to angst for sure#idk why he is somewhere where he could be affected#idk who would realize something is wrong#up to whoever wants to do expand on this prompt#he'd cry when someone tells him he's been in fact affected by fear causing thing#because this means he *is* human and while he was fundamentally changed by his death#it didn't fully get rid of his humanity#but he won't tell that too busy being relieved so whoever delivered the news would be in for the ride#actually it'd be cool if it was someone who has superpowers but they showed up later in their life#parallels y'know#... i may still not be normal about “i wonder what could lie beyond infinity” by Numinous_Scribe on ao3...#top notch fic go read it great Clark characterization#anyway because plot kinda escaped me#hope this idea scratches someone's creative braincell or something#im curious what y'all will make out of it#yellow lantern#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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All (or most) of Zim's costumes/outfits/alternative universe versions/whatever (1/3)
(Group 2 here, Group 3 here)
#invader zim#iz zim#nickelodeon#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#all zim costumes and whatever#<- so i can find it later in my blog#little project(? thingy I have been working on since sometime last year when I thought zim's costumes would be like#a few or something#eventually realized it wasn't but it was too late to go back#not that I would have gone back anyways
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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'my cousin is all stomach and no heart' is such a funny thing for illario to tell rook if he maybe is picking up on a little bit of a Vibe going on there. the 'LMAO. well good luck with that friend. better hotties than you have tried and failed and dashed themselves against the legendarily unamorous cliffs of my cousin's complete obliviousness and lack of interest to no avail. (optional 'may I suggest a more hah-hem *undoes another few buttons on his shirt that thing is open almost to his navel now it's borderline obscene* available dellamorte for your consideration. I mean if you're like in the market for one anyway' devious undertone as you see fit)' energy is off the charts.
(illario is above all a funny petty bitch and that's why I love him so indescribably. no no lucanis is right we need him around to drop shade like this he is in fact also an essential crow. we all contribute in our own ways)
#also I need to see his face when he realizes that lucanis IS in fact fucking that weird little goth twink. On The Regular and w enthusiasm#'of ALL the people who've thrown themselves at you over the years THIS is what you go for?? 'festooned in skulls' is your thing???'#(lucanis' thing is emotional security and safe sincere enduring affection but I don't think illario could grasp that in a thousand years)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I actually think the writing as it stands for illario could work really well if the voice direction had been better#the voice actor is using such an obvious aggro Ze Evil Voice tone the whole way through I think if he was more soft-spoken#and more seemingly good-naturedly jocular and sometimes vulnerable the actual words work well enough to add some subtlety#(I mean. not a lot of subtlety. it's not like you'd wonder who the traitor is and I frankly don't think you're really meant to#that's not the point. it's a car crash you have to watch. but it would make the emotional tone a bit different and more compelling)#between that and some of the environmental storytelling -- the burned letter from zara even though the whole house is FULL#of venatori there's really no point in like. hiding evidence at this point lol vs. the one he wrote lucanis lying neatly on a table#in the same room -- the fact that he can't bring himself to hurt caterina. he seems to be staying in the room across the hall from her.#you know there are some signs here that just maybe#lucanis' hopes for him are not as completely incomprehensibly delusional as it looks on the surface haha
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hey i dont go here but jayce's speech about viktor in s2e9 isn't him saying 'u should never have tried to heal yourself, you were perfect the way u were x3' it was him saying that viktor's physical health never made him any less beautiful, never made him any less important, never made him any LESS, period. he wasn't saying viktor didn't need to pursue a cure for his ills like come on his motivation to invent hextech was to help people. to cure disease. viktor's first and foremost among them.
he said what he said because it was the thing viktor craved to hear most in his life, and that is why those were the words that punched through his defences even as the machine herald: jayce loved him wholly and unconditionally, healthy or ill, good or bad, human or inhuman. he would always be loved just the same.
#jayvik#arcane#like i said i dont go here but u cant slander my boy or that moment i wont stand for it#and yes as someone who is chronically ill i would know if it was ableist LOL (yes yes media is subjective but come the fuck on ppl i beg)#viktor's reaction to seeing inside jayce's mind really cinches it#he had fully given up on ever being loved in that way#romantic or platonic or some secret third thing whatever he had written it ALL off#so he is visibly shaken when he realizes that jayce LOVES (capital italicized underlined bold font) him and everything he is and ever was#jayce's love for viktor literally saves the entire world (also ekko W)#anyway if u wanted my onion i would say viktor didn't allow himself to consciously love jayce in return until that moment#like his need to have jayce be near him and work with him and approve of his actions even AFTER he loses his humanity is very telling#but i do think a lot of that was sort of his subconscious acting out deeply repressed desires#then when jayce confesses he finally understands (it was always about them)#anyway idk when we'll see another relationship like this in media again!!! holy shit!!!!!!!!!!
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older designs for my specialest guy
#you actually could pay me to watch boruto the payment is reviving any of madara-obito-itachi in a cheap fan service moment. itd work on me 👍#neji hyuga#hyuga neji#art#fanart#naruto#2024#i think konoha would love to project the will of fire shit onto neji after what he did. ya know. trying to give your life 'for the village'#in that way hed probs have a lot of respect from others but respect has never been enough when your life still isnt yours 😛#the pessimism would likely take a bit to return to him but it Would return hes just like. less interpersonally volatile#the realization you had two whole very public meltdowns and no one that matters cared will do that to you#anywayfor the happy ending one. i think while neji is always going to be a little bit bitchy hes bound to soften up a lot when he's not#under constant stress and has to micromanage his every thought#i like to think that if he were allowed to hed grow into a very outwardly warm person. sunflower :)#and my general opinions of neji and boruto are:#1. yes it is a blessing to not be made to be straight married#2. however consider: what if i wanted to see neji be a dad. i dont care for romantic njten but i do not hate it. it would be acceptable#when i think abt this guy in boruto hes chronically single but still.talking about what CANON could be. it would be acceptable#3. yes hiashi shouldve gotten his ass killed in the war but i would be lying if i said the awful family reunions#are not fun as a concept#are they fun on purpose? no#but the rule is: A situation can suck if it sucks on purpose#and 4. i know about the time travel episode i have mixed feelings on it.#anyway no hate if you like boruto i like being hyperbolic for fun but its just anime. the kids seem cute#but if any other hyuga-brained person ever wants to get unimaginably angry you should also watch the hiashi birthday episode of boruto#thats my special recommendation from me to you
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gothic lolita machete came to me in a dream
.
#HHWAH#but he unironically kind of makes it work though??#I never realized that the leap from what he normally wears to gothic lolita would be this small#basically the same thing just a lot more lace and frills and embroidery#loving! the pomegranates!#it always makes me ecstatic when people find a way to include them or his other... symbols? motifs? objects of significance?#it's nice you kept the red gloves and red heels#the little crosses on the capelet and the stockings too hah#and the massive bow where the fascia would go#I support genderfuckery Machete by the way#his design and mannerisms have always been somewhat androgynous or at least that's what I've been trying to aim for#despite his sharp angular form he's supposed to have an aura of elegance and delicateness#at least on his better days when he's not in full rat man mode#given the choice he'd rather be called beautiful than handsome I'm pretty sure#folks have been mistaking him for a goth lesbian a whole lot lately so I can't be too far off#thank you this made me grin like an idiot when I opened the inbox#gift art#aggiepython#own characters#Machete
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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The Green brothers are doing effective altruism better than maybe 95% of people who identify online as effective altruists.
#I know it's cringe to be into vlogbrothers in 2024 but I'm incredibly impressed by JG's swerve into fighting global health inequities#and last week's news about their commitment to funding TB prevention was really cool#also I have a lot of respect for creators who seem able to continue to build online communities focused around optimism and trying#to do good in the world in a way that seems genuine--because I've realized how much intentional effort that must take#when social media writ large seems to skew towards either reactionaries or doom and gloom#VB was formed in an era where everyone had a lot more earnest hope in the potential of the internet and (with multiple evolutions)#they've kept going through a seismic change in the way we relate to social media and the creator economy. it's interesting#also I think it's interesting JG is doing his best work 10+ years out from his peak fame. life lesson there maybe
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You ever notice a running theme in your life?
#death //#trauma //#drowning //#comics#gpoy#art tag#i know it's not an omen lmao it's probably a subconscious thing HOWEVER#i do think it's weird my dm did that#that one did weird me out a bit#let me know if there needs to be more tags i'm just throwing them on here#i'm not going to tag the books even though all three have their own tags that's not the point of this#EDIT: after posting this i realized that there was also that person who drowned when i worked on the cruise ship#which wasn't necessarily about me but it happened the night before i had an appointment with the ship doctor#and they had to reschedule me because they were dealing with the body#anyways
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coelacanter + socials
#amy mentioned that devyn's mullet was like someone chewed on it and the troll doll imagery would not leave me#infamous#infamous if#marlow locke#coelacanter#kaced#fake social media#i dont want to HEAR how out of touch i am i dont use instagram or twitter i had to guess at syntax/usernames#also the cropping for the group photo ended up so strangely with the instagram post format i ended up going with so i just#worked it into the comments section. same with iris' outfit i realized way too late she should've had something fancier </3#i thought rowan would be the type to point out something like that. he'd have a choice instagram with pictures cropped and edited perfectly#iris posts a photo of her and devyn and he'll comment 'very cute. were you asleep when picking this filter though or..?'#also i know this is funny to genuinely no one else but i briefly debated having maya make the fan name “the canners”#as if the band name was “can't-er” not “canter”#(they're just 'fishies') but i wanted to incorporate it somehow hence the gc name and that one fan's username#coelacanter? no. we coelacan... ner <3
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platonic!yandere!alastor & 1950s!teen!gn!reader ! ! [chap. one]
series masterlist !
description; You know where you were, and there was no kidding yourself on it. After taking in your surroundings, you stood from where you'd woken up and headed out of the patch of stinging nettle. You didn't know what your plan was, but it definitely wasn't to get stalked and subsequently chased by a very tall, inhuman deer-man.
additional notes; woo!! this chapter introduces alastor, but it's pretty much just at the end. reader does not have a good time. have you ever been stung by a stinging nettle? i haven't, but i saw my brother get stung on his leg by one and. and it's such a funny yet terrifying sight to see a 6'1 20 y/o scream like a banshee and run around like a mad man because he brushed up against a plant. it's not fun (he told me so himself). i hope you enjoy, i, once again, had a lot of fun writing this!! there might be typos to begin with, but i'm usually much better at catching them after publishing fics (i don't know how it works D:) so i'll probably be coming in and out to fix them :]]
warnings; general terror, anxiety, isolation, lots of religious references (enough to be tagged)/mentions of sunday school, mentions of death + death of friends, grief, reader is terrified for their life, gratuitous use of symbolism done by yours truly, being 'hunted', Alastor is referred to an 'it' (this will change in the next chapter when he introduces himself), and let me know if i missed any major ones !! :D
w/c; 3.0k
You just sat there for a while, looking around. There was no trace of whatever had killed you, whether you’d succumbed to the blood or the unspecified brain injury you definitely sustained-- there was no lingering lightheadedness or nausea.
Physically, you felt… fine. Your mouth felt crowded to the point of discomfort, your hands felt quite heavy because of the claws now adorning the ends of them--
And you’re pretty sure you’d landed on your tail. Yes, you have a tail. At first, you couldn't believe, that you'd fall down into hell and suddenly gain a tail; but you’d shifted around and pulled the large, furry mass from where it’d been pinned underneath you.
There was no beating around the bush with it, you had a tail now; and you were pretty damn accepting of it.
…Or you were just too tired to care. Not physically so, but mentally. You could hardly believe it, that in such a short amount of time, so much had changed.
One moment, you’d been happily hanging out with your friends, and the next you were in a car accident, hunted down the spoiled brat that caused it (because God knows he would’ve gotten away with it on account of his filthy rich folks) and slaughtered him.
With that in mind, you completely understood why exactly you were in hell, surrounded by a bunch of stinging nettles-- you looked down to your left, having felt something brush against your hand. It didn’t feel like stinging nettle at all.
When you looked down, you saw a small patch of 4 Zinnias. One was yellow, another orange, then a hot pink, and the last a bright cherry red.
You don’t know what it was about those flowers, but something stirred deep in your in response. Those were their colors, you’d realized. And maybe it was just one big coincidence, a fluke that the yellow was the exact shame shade of the cardigan Lorraine had been wearing. Or that the orange reminded you of Rudy’s carrot-top hair, or that the hot pink was exactly the color of Marnie’s cat eye-framed glasses—
Or that the red was awfully too close to the color of Matty’s Chevy convertible that he’d so lovingly named “Sheila”.
It was silly that spotting the flowers was what got you to stand, to finally get off your ass and leave the field you’d woken up in. But no matter how silly the reasoning was, at least you finally stood, right?
You considered being slow with it-- it'd be leagues safer then just yanking yourself upright and immediately heading out. But you weren't really thinking clearly on that end-- you just wanted away from the flowers.
It was stupid. It was stupid, the unease you felt because of those-- but something in the back of your mind reminded you about unit you'd done in home economics the year prior.
You don't know why it was required by the curriculum to learn how to pick just the right flowers for a gift (in the case of the boys in the class), or to decorate your home with (regarding the girls, which you thought was ridiculous that there was a separation between the two, but you could do nothing about it). You thought it was a little silly, but your teacher at least tried to make it entertaining.
She included a mini-history lesson, something that brought back some of the history parts of the etiquette unit done the previous semester. The Victorian language of flowers,
You couldn't remember what zinnia's represented, but you don't remember it being anything good. You think it's something relating to grief, and at that point you put a hard stop to anymore prying into the subject.
When you stood, you stumbled a bit. For a split second, fear shot through you-- were you still affected by the brain injury? did that carry over, and you just hadn't noticed until you stood suddenly?-- but those fears were replaced with annoyance at what you figured out to be the actual cause.
Weight distribution and whatnot, you weren't used to your ears being on top of your head instead of the sides-- so that messed with your balance just as much (or perhaps even more) than having to readjust for the added weight of your tail.
Luckily, you caught yourself before tripping face first into the stinging nettle right next to you. You'd put your foot down quick, just a hair away from brushing up against the plant.
"Shit!" You tried not to swear too often, but you felt like it was appropriate for the situation. You were quick to take a few steps back, relieved that you hadn't touched the plant.
One time, when you and your friends had been at sleepaway camp right before the start of freshman year, you and your friends had came across a patch of stinging nettle, smaller than the one you stood in now-- but still pretty sizable.
Rudy, ever the class clown, said he bet 10 bucks that he would jump into the nettle. Matty tried to discourage him, and Marnie had already preemptively turned her gaze away and covered her ears, readying for when he'd start screaming his head off (and boy, did he scream).
Lorraine was always the smartest, most level headed of the group. Though, at that point, she wasn't as used to Rudy's antics as the rest of you were; she took him up on the bet, thinking it'd make her an easy 10 dollars. That Rudy would chicken out.
He took off his shirt and jumped into the patch. It was awful, he'd jumped up almost immediately and started running like a bat out of hell-- he screamed so loud and so blood-curdlingly that camp counselors barreled to where your group was, afraid that someone had broken a leg or something of the sort.
When they got one look at the angry red welts on Rudy's back, they rolled their eyes-- you're sure they'd encountered more than a few risk takers that'd done close to same thing as Rudy had.
Rudy was always one to play up things for the laughs-- but that was one of the few times you were absolutely certain he wasn't doing anything to make it seem worse. It looked awful.
You weren't too keen on trying it for yourself, thank you very much. Eyeing the plant wearily, you made sure to steer as clear as possible of it as much as possible.
While you'd been sitting, you'd noticed a path right near where your head had been laying. You turned that way, and looked at it-- real closely, this time around.
It was pretty narrow, all things considered, but it was doable. It stretched on pretty far, but-- and this might be perspective, but it didn't seem that way-- it looked like it gradually widened about half a mile down.
Sure, it wasn't ideal, but this was hell, after all. You'd take what you could get, and you really didn't want to stay in this patch for any longer. You didn't know if hell had a day/night cycle, but if it did, and it turned to night-- you're sure that wouldn't spell anything but trouble for you.
Honestly, you could've probably walked straight forward-- like a normal person-- but for some reason, that still felt too close for comfort.
You felt something brush against your leg, and it didn't hurt-- but you didn't know how fast a nettle's sting settles in, so you snapped your head down and--
Huh.
Your tail-- which, you knew that, realistically speaking, it would move. Considering it's just another limb-- was swinging in agitation, and you hadn't meant to do it.
With a frown, you came up with a quick solution. You scooped it up with one arm and held it close to your chest with both. Then, not wanting to waste another second in this open field, you turned sideways and started cautiously making your way down the path, being painfully careful as to where you put your feet, or if you felt even a teensy bit off balance.
By the time you got to where the path widened-- thank God, you thought; even though He definitely had nothing to do with this strike of unexpected luck-- you took a chance and turned, no longer feeling the need to move sideways.
Most of the time, your eyes were focused whole-heartedly on the ground. Tracking where your feet were, if the path started narrowing again-- all of that fun stuff. But you made sure to look up a couple times, and look behind you as well. Just to be careful.
You don't know how long you'd been walking for. It must've been a while, probably a couple miles-- the sky was getting darker (and you mentally noted that hell did in fact have a day/night cycle. isn't that just swell?) and your feet were starting to hurt.
It felt like a miracle, that right as you started to get a little reckless with your footing-- hunger, exhaustion, and discomfort being one of the main sources of you being less and less cautious as the trek through the field wore on and on and on-- the end of the path was within sight,
However, it was a forest. Not a smart idea to go into-- even if it was day, the large trees would probably block any light from filtering through the leaves. You were certain it'd be awful in the dark, and all you had was the clothes on your back.
It was getting cold-- which surprised you. The temperature before was far from pleasant, it was what you'd expect from hell more or less. Scorching, to put it lightly; but it didn't affect you too badly-- maybe on account of your new biology made to better suit Hell's climate--
But it was cooling down, and it was cooling down fast. A shiver ran up your spine, a soft breeze turning into raging, cold wind that seemed to blast you from every which way.
In Sunday school, they didn't talk about hell much; it scared the kids, the idea that them, or a loved one, could go to such an awful place. It was a necessary evil when it came to discussing anything relating to God, however.
This... hell, it had to be hell-- felt worse then what you'd learn about. You've been here for hours, and have encountered not one person. Not one thing, nothing but plants and the fear of expectation.
This can't be all there is, rang out in your mind. It was terrifying, that hell seemed so similar to your time alive. A day/night cycle, temperatures that changed (even if it was from uncomfortably hot to uncomfortably cold).
As you thought about it more, you decided that maybe this was hell, your own personal one. You'd lived your life as someone who held friends and family in high regard-- you much preferred a night in than out, always opting for a cinema over a drive-in movie; but bending to your friend's wills if they so demanded.
To be stuck out here, in an unfamiliar field where there was no sign of someone-- something else, no trace that there had ever really been anyone else-- with by far one of your least favorite-- if not the least favorite-- plant being all your eye could see.
When you made it to the edge of the forest-- a nice little 'peace zone' between the nettles behind you and the foreboding, dark forest ahead of you, where there was just grass. Nothing more, nothing less-- you contemplated not going in.
Maybe... Maybe instead of a one-size fits all fire-and-brimstone, closed in with a bleeding stone ceiling and chains hanging down, the sound of screaming, tormented and damned souls being the only thing you could hear-- it was much more... personalized.
That seemed so, so much scarier than anything you learned in Sunday school. If you got a choice, you think you'd pick the other, only because it'd be predictable. You'd know what to expect.
And now, and you stand in front of the daunting forest ahead-- you find yourself torn between two worlds. On one hand, you can just stay here in this field. It's safer, if only by a little-- because you've been here for the past however-many hours, and not much had happened (save for a few close calls with the nettles you were carefully skirting around),
Still, staying out in the open didn't bode well in your mind. Going into the forest wasn't any better, it was just as scary as the nettle patch-- except for the fact that it was far more unfamiliar.
You must've stood there for at least 10, maybe even 20, minutes before finally making your decision. It was getting colder and colder-- you looked behind you, and despite how freezing it'd become, there was no frost covering the plants behind you.
Right. So, no 'hell freezing over' kind of situation. The temperature was just always set 100, whether that be in one direction or the other. Fine-- that's fine, i can deal with that you told yourself, crossing your arms over your chest to try and conserve what warmth you can,
Before stepping into the forest. The path had let right to an opening, a trail leading through the woods as well. You had full intention to follow it the whole way through, not wanting to stray off if possible.
You kept looking behind you, seeing the dim moonlight coming from the entrance growing further and further away-- when it was no longer visible, you swallowed hard and focused your gaze ahead.
This was fine.
You can deal with this.
This is just dandy, swell-- amazing! You're fine, you're okay. You aren't hurt, there's nothing behind you, there's nothing watching you, nothing hunting you despite what the deep-seeded prey drive in the back of your head tried to tell you--!
Snap!
You tried your best to not look back, but it was getting harder and harder as the moments went by. There no other noise, save for crickets chirping, and fireflies buzzing by (though, they didn't look like any fireflies you'd seen before, not while alive), and your own footsteps and shallow breathing.
Then, you stopped dead in your tracks. There was a fork in the path-- one leading down a steep hill, the other turning sharply into a more densely populated part of the forest. It was impossible to see all the way down the hill, or through the trees.
You stalled, not a smart choice, but... you didn't know what to do. The hairs on the back of your neck stood straight up, posture becoming more hunched as the cold feeling of dread curled in your gut and refused to leave you alone.
It went quiet.
Entirely so.
No crickets chirping, no fireflies buzzing, no wind rustling the trees-- nothing. Your ears began to ring oh-so suddenly, and you flinched. Clapping your hands over your ears, childishly hoping that'd fix-- or at least help-- the ringing in your ears, that was getting so loud you felt your brain starting to rattle in your skull,
You squeezed your eyes shut, pushing and pushing and pushing your hands harder and harder against your ears, and at some point, it seemed like you were trying to crush your skull into pieces out of pure desperation. Desperation for the ringing to just stop already!
Just when you felt your head was about to explode-- or implode, maybe; considering how much pressure you were putting on it-- the ringing stopped.
A hand was on your shoulder, but you didn't feel it settle there. You don't know long it'd been there-- it's a hand, you know that much. It was large, and clawed, and bony-- it didn't feel like a person's hand, so much as it felt like the hand of a monster. The kind that you'd ask your mom to check under your bed for as a small child,
Before you could properly react, besides the way your blood seemed to turn to solid ice in that second of realization and your eyes flying open, another hand-- just like the one on your shoulder, grabbed one of your wrists-- delicately, almost gentle, but a hidden threat lied beneath it-- and pulled it from your ear.
"Hello, my dea--!"
You turned around, and all you needed to get you rushing past the- the creature, the man(?) that stood before you was to realize just how tall it was, the antlers adorning it's head, it's red eyes that seemed to glow all on their own--
and oh.
oh god, those teeth, bared in what you assume was meant to be a friendly smile, but got horribly twisted upon execution-- it's mouth could be considered more of a maw then anything,
Before it could get another word, before it could even finish its damn sentence, you ripped your hand from it's grip-- it was loose, easy to pull your wrist from its clawed hands--
And swerved around it, taking off the way you came. You didn't dare look back, your tail trashed wildly with anxiety-- surely getting sticks and leaves and burrs stuck in it all the while, but you didn't care about that right now,
All you cared about was getting away from whatever the hell had just approached you.
A foolish, almost naive part of you assumed it wouldn't follow you. That it wasn't that interested in you, or that it'd already got its fun from spooking you like a flighty rabbit.
The laugh that seemed to trail after you, seemed to worm into your very head and make itself a nice, cozy little home right in the back of your mind-- told you otherwise.
It dawned on you, maybe a little too late, that this was probably its intention. To get you to run, run like a rabbit being chased by a hunter-- knowing that if it turned around, if it looked back for even a second; it'd be staring down the barrel of a shotgun, one held by a man with a trigger finger when it came to things like rabbits.
You were being hunted.
Pretty fitting for your first night in hell, isn't it?
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#yandere hazbin hotel#gn reader#yandere alastor x reader#platonic yandere#yandere x reader#hazbin hotel#platonic yandere x reader#platonic alastor x reader#requests open#tw mentions of death#i never realized just how fast i write until i remembered#that i wrote the prologue yesterday#thing is i don't get burnt out easily so this is probably going to become the norm#because i have 0 self control when it comes to creative projects and jump at any chance to work on it#my writing
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