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Write up of WLW Media:
June is over, but Pride continues. (Literally, the parade near me is next saturday.)
In honor of that, here’s my write-up of WLW Media I’ve consumed, horked down, hoovered up, whatever you want to call it and a fairly substantial TBR list.
My goal here is to provide more WLW material, because honestly it’s often kind of hard to find. Recommedations in the notes are very welcome!
I’ve also put books on this list I didn’t like as much, because if you dislike the books I adore they’re probably more your thing. (Having someone who’s taste is opposite of yours is often surprisingly useful)
I intend to make this a half-yearly to yearly thing, because my reading speed is so inconsistent. (Seriously from zero to eleven books in a month everything is game.)
My criteria for WLW media are the following: features a WLW romance or a sapphic character in which the character or the pairing is central to the book. Books with one sidepairing that’s WLW don’t count unless that sidepairing takes up substantial time.
This is mostly fantasy and SciFi: (because they’re my favourite genres)
I'm putting a read more here, because the TBR is out of control and the list got quite long.
The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir
Starting with Gideon the Ninth, this series seriously doesn’t need an introduction or propaganda. It’s the rare WLW story that actually gets shoved in your face!
It’s a sci-fantasy-horror series about necromancy in space seasoned with the occasional meme that’ll make you groan. It’s very good and while it’s relationship focused it’s not necessarily very romance focused, if I’m making sense? I don’t recommend reading parts of the first book at 3 am because it gets seriously scary at times. Also the author doesn’t shy away from body or corpse grossness. If you like you characters sane and emotionally stable, this is not the book series for you.
The Priory of the Orange Tree Samantha Shannon
Described by the author as a feminist retelling of St. George slaying the dragon, this is very much classic fantasy with some modern twists. If you like your books thick and dense this is for you. Features a bodyguard romance.
The Doors of Eden Adrian Tchaikovsky
Evolutionary biology crossed with modern riller. Features parallel worlds. This qualifies by virtue of having a lesbian and her disappeared girlfried as well as a trans lady scientist as two of six view point characters. Dense and thick and takes a while to get into. Adrian Tchaikovsky is a writing style chameleon, but if you’ve read Children of Time he chose a similar writing style for this.
The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri
The disgraced princess of an empire (she refused to be burned alive) is banished to a temple in an out of the way impoverished province. One of her maids who accidentally encounters her even though they weren’t supposed to have contact with her is the only person she can count on for aid. A former warrior priest acolyte that escaped the burning of her temple as a child is hiding her identity and working in the palace as a maid. Working for the princess is the first time since then that she’s been back on/in her temple. This definitely earned it’s fucked up label. Features some body horror.
Also fucked up sibling relationships both adopted and blood related. (For those of you who like that.) Do not be deceived by how small and manageable the paperback version looks. It’s got over five-hundred pages of densely packed text. First book of a trilogy, third book comes out autumn this year.
This Is How You Loose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone
Diversity win! The alien entities fighting a time war identify as female! Another one that really doesn’t need an introduction considering how popular it got. Two agents fighting on opposite sides of the time war write each other letters, starting with one taunting the other and developing from there.
Sweet and Bitter Magic by Adrienne Tooley
This is very much YA but not in a bad way. A witch who can only feel emotions by taking them from other people in trade for something and a girl who desperately needs help go on a journey to rescue the world from an encrouching magic plague.
A Memory called Empire by Arkady Martine
Did not like this as much as I expected to and am kind of sad about it, because people whos’ taste I trust liked it alot, so I’m wondering if I missed something? Maybe that something is being a native speaker, since the German friends I read it with didn’t enjoy it that much either. I’m left feeling kind of meh about it. Features a wlw romance. And is about the influence of language on the construct of Empire and identity.
Even though I knew the End C.L Polk
I didn’t really like this one. I felt it was too short and it’s storylines not explored enough. (It’s a novella.) I also tend to not like stories with a definite Christian Afterlife that exists and is definitely paradise. Other people liked this a lot though.
The long way to a small angry Planet by Becky Chambers
I’ll be honest, I did not like this one and think it isn’t well plotted or has good worldbuilding. It also has no genuine conflict. But since a lot of people seem to like Becky Chambers this is probably a personal taste thing.
Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree
Described by the author as „High fantasy, low stakes – with a double-shot of coffee.“ I’m going to disagree on the low stakes bit. While the stakes aren’t world-ending, they are present. This is about an orc who is tired of the mercenary life and starts a coffee shop. The stakes are that this is the life she wants and the business is her baby. Features a subtle romance that doens’t really come into play for a good long while because the main character is still busy with the whole learning to be a person with needs and wants thing. Very sweet though not in a toothrotting way, more like a slightly sweet well made baked good balanced out by the bitterness of the coffee.
Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee
One of the two main characters is wlw though this doesn’t really get picked up on because Cheris is too busy dealing with the empire she’s part of, the frankly quite evil calender and her own identity. This series makes use of the „any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic“ principle by going so far beyond it lands in magic territory. If you like math, original worldbuilding, military fantasy, good prose with a wide vocabulary or all four of these check it out.
The Price of Salt or Carol by Patricia Highsmith
A classic and one of the few things on this list that isn’t fantasy or sci-fi of some kind. Patricia Highsmith first published this under a pseudonym. It was kind of revolutionary at it’s publishing time for featuring a queer romance that had a kind of happy ending. I liked the well built characters and romance and the ability of the author to describe complex, ambivalent feelings.
Other Media:
Anime:
The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genious Young Lady
Typical modern Shoujo style. I was just searching for something sweet to watch and was suprised by the earnestness with which this story was willing to treat its’ themes. Is originally based on a novel series.
Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Takes the magical girl anime to it’s natural extremes. Kind of a deconstruction, though I have to say that it doesn’t go any harder than Sailor Moon was already willing to go before this was ever written. Gets on this list for a very important side character.
The Witch from Mercury
Has a very much modern Shoujo style but is also a mecha anime. I need to watch the second season. Features a kinda arranged marriage, a mecha school and fucked up things lurking behind the cute exterior.
Trapped in an Otome Game: All Routes Lead to Doom!
Very funny. The main character gets transmigrated into the villainess of an otome game and is very determined to not share that fate. On accident she kind of seduces every available man and the female rivals and the female main character. The result is chaos, a friend group that doubles as a harem and the gayest sleepover I’ve ever seen while the main character has no clue. (Noteably she is completely able to say stuff like „If I were a man I’d marry Maria on the spot!“ without catching on.) I’m rooting for Maria but there are several female characters who have their sight set on the main character.
I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level
Cute. An overworked office drone dies and gets transmigrated into a witch and proceeds to do nothing much for the next 300 years. Then things suddenly get going and do not stop again any time soon, as the heroine gets friends, children (Surprise! She’s a deadbet mom and didn’t know it.) and admirers. I’m rooting for the dragon.
I’m in love with the Villainess!
Very cute. A modern girl gets transmigrated into the heroine of an otome game and promptly proceeds to flirt with the villainess. Is based on a series of novels. Covers themes of queer loneliness and class struggle amongst all the silliness.
Revolutinary Girl Utena
I haven’t watched this in ten years and have forgotten most of the plot, but I remember really liking it. Utena assumes the role of the prince and duels other people for the Rose Bride. This takes place in a school and involves dramatic elevator rides. Also the movie had Utena and Anthy (The Rose Bride) turn into cars for some reason? I need to rewatch this. Also please don’t forget to check the content warnings, most stuff I like is fairly fucked up.
Sailor Moon
This one gets a pass on the strict criteria because it’s a classic and Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus were many peoples first wlw couple.(Though Usagis’ straightness is debateable, miss I’ll follow this pretty girl to her home because I’ve got heart eyes.) The classic magical girl anime and manga, popular for a reason and doesn’t really need me to sing it’s praises.
Live Action:
Couple of Mirrors
One of a few full length wlw dramas. (I’m aware there are a couple thai dramas, but they’re mostly modern and my interest is fantasy, sci-fi and historical). Historical costume drama featuring a young innocent socialite writer and a girl with a fotography studio and a rather dark past.
Legend of Yunze
One of apperently quite a few Mini Webdramas. It’s essentially just significant scenes stiched together. You need about an hour and a half to watch all of it. Some people have called the central couple the female version of wangxian, though while there are similarities these two are their own thing.
The extra features the line „Stand in the corner, fuckboy.“
Also season 3 when?
You can find it through this carrd: https://legendofyunze.carrd.co/# or through Youtube. An account named douqi has translated this drama and a lot of others including Nü Er Hong which is below in the TBR.
On the TBR:
The Oleander Sword by Tasha Suri
Second novel in the trilogy starting with The Jasmine Throne, I’ve gotten fifty pages in but put it down and need to pick it up again. Tasha Suri also has more books I’ll need to take a look at.
The Unspoken Name A.K. Larkwood
This is the first book. I’ll have to get to the second to get to the WLW.
The Unbroken by C.L. Clark
Also has a theme of empire and rebellion (and assasination). Of the same list as Exile and the sorceror.
The Exile and the Sorceror by Jane Fletcher
Found this through googeling Sapphic Fantasy recommedations. I don’t think I could dig up the specific list this is from again. The cover looks like the fantasy novels in my mothers shelf and I liked the summary.
Sword of the Guardian by Merry Shannon
Apperently a Fantasy Bodyguard romance? Off the same list as When Women Where Warriors and The Exile and the Sorceror.
The Warriors Path (When Women Were Warriors) By Catherine M. Wilson
Describes by the author as like the fantasy stories she loved to read but with women.
Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu
Occasionally reading the classics is good for the souls. Especially if they contain lesbian vampires.
The Traitor Baru Coromoran by Seth Dickinson
Recommended by veliseraptor who has excellent taste. Features themes of empire and collaboration and becoming compliant with the system vs. resistance. Read the synopsis it does a better job than I do on describing what it’s about.
Clear and Muddy Loss of Love by Please Don't Laugh (请君莫笑, Qǐng Jūn Mò Xiào)
and
Female General And Eldest Princess by Please Don't Laugh (请君莫笑, Qǐng Jūn Mò Xiào)
Baihe (chinese gl, female equivalent to danmei) novels that get recommended a lot.
I am bizzarely scared to read these, because what if I don’t like it?
Also if anyone has any more baihe recommendations, I’d love to have them! Bonus Points for dark, fucked up stuff!
The Beauty’s Blade Feng Ren Zuo Shu
Baihe, have seen this one on tumblr before and the description is really good.
Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell
Lesbian horror monster fantasy! I found this trawling Good Reads. I hope it’s good! The description is really fun.
City of Hope and Ruin by Kit Campbell and Siri Paulson
Another fishing in the Good Reads pond find. More in the fantasy space. Looked interesting enough I’ll give it a chance.
Uhh, googeling wlw/lesbian fantasy on Good Reads produces interesting results ‚:) If someone else wants to try, since it‘s not possible to search two tags at the same time or do nested searches, I’d recommend looking through the lists.
She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan
I love fucked up women. And political schemeing and characters pretending to be someone else. This seems right up my alley.
A Master of Djinn P. Djèlí Clark
Picked this up without knowing it contained a lesbian detective as a main character! Delightful surprise!
Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett
Once again, picked this up without knowing it contained a sapphic romance! Don’t know if I’ll like this, since unfortunately I don’t vibe with Sandersons style and this is supposed to be similar.
The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley
This is Sci-Fi. And once again I didn’t know this contained wlw, because it wasn’t mentioned anywhere when I got the recommendation.
When the Tiger Came Down the Montain by Nghi Vo
Second in the series after the Empress of Salt and Fortune, which I omitted because the WLW part isn’t really central. The tiger/scholar romance is more central in this one, so I’m putting it on the list.
Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse
Was reccomended to me as very modern fantasy and unique, is apperently WLW as well?
Fishing through Novelupdates works better than Goodreads, but also produces as per the nature of the site unfinished and untranslated/partially translated novels. The tag for GL is either yuri or shoujo ai or both, because Novelupdates will let you search for several tags at a time.
Novels that perked my interest, I don’t vouch for the translation or it’s completeness:
The Princess’ Shadow Guard Cannot Be Too Clever by Senlin Zhangchun
The General’s Manor Young Concubine Survival Report by Feng De Lingdang
The Hero (♀) Hypnotized The Demon King (♀) by Sanrokukyuu(this one is a oneshot)
As I Was Reincarnated as the Villainess of an Otome Game, I Panic-confessed to the Heroine to Avoid My Ruin Flag. Since She Was Ok With It, I Will Live a Fake Yuri Life. by Satera Ito
The Witch Nichang by 八千岁 (no transliteration given)
Live Action:
Nü Er Hong
The same account (douqi) that did the translation for Legend of Yunze has translated a lot more Mini-Dramas and I already started this one. I plan to watch more from that selection and dig my way through the carrd.
Carol
Movie Adaption of the book. I don’t always agree with the community on who is universally hot (Keira Knightley does nothing for me.) And think that insisting we all are all attracted to the same peolpe and this is a community shaping shared experience is damaging. But Cate Blanchett can get it and casting her as Carol was an inspired move.
#ladies!!!#wlw media write up#veilchenjaeger#because she wanted to be tagged#when I finished the write-up#phtalate chatterbox hour#text text would someone like more text?
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from my new oneshot, 'the vexing village of vellmore' ✨ ao3 / wattpad ((it's about seb & clora visiting a cursed village and trying to figure out how to break the curse, and since it ended up being 50k words i decided to split it into 2 chapters and the next part will be out soon!🙏 also, while it does have spoilers for the raven and the snake, it's a standalone story and can be read blind💖))
#u know i had to do the alliteration title#heads up but theres a smut scene almost immediately 😇LMAOOO#im actually so happy with this oneshot as a whole tho its sooo self indulgent BAHAHA so i hope yall like it too🙏🙏#part 2 is already done and ill post it when i finish more art for it✍️✍️✍️✍️#i defs wanna write more lil stories like this with them....older and working together.....its so fun.....i just need more ideas😩#HINT HINT 😇😇😇😇#this has all ive been working on the past like week straight SORRY IF I HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO ASKS#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#clora clemons#choccyart#sebastian sallow fanfiction#sebastian x mc
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every iteration of the doctor can be categorized into two categories: dyke and twink
#13 you are firmly in the twink category.#twissy toxic yuri is my fav thing in the whole of dw ever LALALALLAALA#the doctor#doctor who#tenth doctor#eleventh doctor#twelfth doctor#thirteenth doctor#twissy#thoschei#tenrose#ninerose#ninejackrose#fuckin love ninejackrose that shit is fireeeee#fourteenth doctor#fifteenth doctor#DAMN DIVA THERES 15 OF THEM???? clutching my pearls rn i havent watched anything past when david came back#love you david tennant ❤️ you make a gorgeous woman. id smash.#ninth doctor#nwver actually finished watching 13 bc she was so so so poorly written. didnt she end up in lesbians with whats her face? idk man.#13 you a twink to me im sorry the vibes r frankly just horrendous. (what bad writing does to an mf)#a shame
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Happy Halloween spideypool nation‼️
Halloween version of this post since booping is back
#boop#spideypool#spiderman#deadpool#my art#Halloween#happy halloween#I was going to post a different thing for Halloween and finish writing my Halloween fic too but#unfortunately shit kinda hit the fan in my personal life soooo that didn’t end up happening#everything’s fine now#so we will be finishing Halloween when I say so#I should drop out of college to do full time spideypool
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The transfer student looks familiar
The end of the event. Pain and agonies. Behold mine copium.
#apparently in times of stress i decide to write fic on anon#i guess i'll un-anon it on ao3 when i like. finish the thing#twst#twisted wonderland#skully#twst au#skully j graves#skully graves#twst skully#twst fanfic#skully x yuu#skully x mc#i intended it as platonic but I also intended I know you as platonic and we know how that turned out#skullyuu#If i finish the thing is probably the better term#ramshackle#in a ribcage#yunart#this is pure copium#edit: i gave up an un-anoned it
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Aventurine x Reader
You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves.
Read part 2 here !
Only barely proof-read, guaranteed to have lots of grammatical errors, English is not my first language and I am experimenting with my writing style <3
CW: smut, handjob (Aventurine receiving), dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), feelings of inadequacy, hurt/very little comfort, crying, mentions of death, at some points this seems like dubcon because Aventurine speaks of feeling “dread”, but it’s NEVER intended to be read as him not wanting to receive touch from reader, it is meant to convey how little he thinks he deserves this. The smut is soft and gentle, but Aventurine’s internal thoughts definitely are not <3
Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!
18+, minors will be blocked <3
Your touch is so kind. Soft and gentle, as if he is made of the finest porcelain, as if he is a fragile flower, as if he is delicate. It is cruel, he thinks, that he has made you think he is any less than a monster. It is cruel that he hasn’t pushed you away, when he knows he will devour you. It has become part of his nature.
But how can he push you away when you are so persistent? How can he push you away when you roll with his punches, when you go along with each and every one of his pushes and pulls? It is hard to keep you out when you insistently pry your way into what’s left of his soul, when you gaze upon the rotten corpse that he is and still claim him to be beautiful. He thinks you must be blind at best and naive at worst.
“You’re so pretty,” you whisper reverently, and though Aventurine knows his body is, he also knows that is not the part of him you’re referring to. Not when your hand rests on his chest, above the empty cavern where his heart is meant to be.
You kiss his neck and he shivers. There’s a pit in his stomach, knotting his insides with dread.
He should tell you to stop, should warn you that he’s deceiving you, that he’s not the person you think he is. Should show you that he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, that he is a bad omen. But he can’t bring himself to. Not when being with you feels so good, not when he’s self-indulgent to a fault, and he can’t help himself with you. He is the worst mistake you could ever make, in part because he can’t even stop from letting you continue to make it.
His hands rest on the back of your neck, fingers tangled in your hair. It is unfair how good your touch feels, his back arching just from mere caresses upon his skin. You play him like he’s an instrument you’ve practiced for years, despite never having fucked him before. He digs his heels into your back as your hand wraps around his dick, and he whines into your shoulder when you lovingly stroke it.
“I love you,” you murmur as he pulls on your hair, as his nails dig into your skin, and he wants to cry. He will destroy you from the inside out, he knows, or maybe he will kill you before he gets the chance to. He can never keep the things he loves alive.
Your lips kiss his skin, and he moans brokenly as your thumb glides over the head of his cock, pushing down on the tip. His hips rock up to meet your hand, and he feels ashamed of how blatantly he allows himself to enjoy you, how blatantly he allows himself to use you. You deserve so much better, but you are the best thing that he has ever managed to get his bloodstained hands on, and so he can’t help himself. He wants you to remain unaware of how much better you could do. He wants you to stubbornly remain by his side even when he makes it hard for you to do so. He wants to bare every part of his being to you so you can see how little worth he is to you. He wants you to run from him before it’s too late.
But part of him knows he already has shown you himself, that you’ve seen who he is and you still love him. You must be stupid.
“Use me,” he begs you, wishing you’d do something with him to alleviate the guilt he feels, so it would at least be mutual. His hands cling to you, and he whimpers pathetically when you lean back to look down at him. “Use me, please. Please…”
And your eyes are so kind. Your eyes are so sweet and soft and human, and everything he is not.
“Shh,” you hush him, tenderly pressing a kiss to his lips. He sobs, feeling embarrassing tears fill his eyes as you press closer to him, the touch so caring and innocent yet so lewd as your hand tugs at him. “Just let me make you feel good, okay?”
And you do. You always keep true to your words, unlike him. It’s barely a minute later that his breath hitches and he keens, nearly wailing into your neck as he comes undone under your too loving hands. It’s obscene, and he feels filthy as his semen paints your hand and splatters on his lower stomach. He has soiled your perfect skin, has dirtied your perfect body. He hopes you will let go of him and wash yourself up, then leave him here, broken on the bed in the mess he’s created. That you will leave him to pick up the pieces of himself he has left. He is undeserving of you.
And yet he only feels your love swaddle him when his body relaxes, adoring praises and sweet words tumbling from your perfect lips as your perfect hands gently stroke his body, soothing him as if he is deserving. Your perfect body presses closer to him, no doubt getting his mess on your perfect abdomen as you almost lay yourself flat on him. You pepper perfect kisses all over his face, and he realises belatedly he’s crying. For the first time in ten years. Fat tears rolling down his cheeks, and he doesn’t know for what reason.
But you seem like you do know. You look so understanding, wiping his tears with an achingly kind, perhaps slightly sad smile, and you don’t ask him why.
“I’ve got you now, it’s okay,” you say instead. And you do, because you always keep true to your word.
And he is selfish, because he doesn’t stop you. He lets you clean him up, lets you kiss his tears away, lets you take care of him. Lets you climb into bed with him afterwards, unaware that you have brought the monster under your bed up into your loving arms. He hasn’t felt so much love since he was nine.
And he is selfish, because even though he can already feel his claws dig into your flesh as he holds you in return, he cannot bring himself to pull away. He can only hope he won’t dig in his heels when you eventually see reason and try to leave. He can only hope you will have the time to get away before he kills you.
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My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3
#[18+]#[rawbin]#[aventurine]#[rawbin fanfic]#[by me]#aventurine x reader#Do I think this is how his first time with any person would usually go ? No#Do I intend for this read of him to be the standard for how I write him ? Also no#Just thought it would be interesting :3#Didn't even originally intend to upload this when I wrote it but urgghhghhgh I want to prove I want to write....#plspslspsls send requests to me pls guys I can't do this I'm not creative enough to come up with my own prompts#art by yours truly btw but I won't put it under the art tag because I'm still finishing it up to post the full image later#aventurine hsr#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine star rail#reader x aventurine#aventurine x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr aventurine#hsr#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#smut#aventurine smut
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Horotmu-Pavam of Solēsne was a Southern Throne born of the union of Unbodied Horotmu of Solēsne and Headless Pavam of Hatab, and was one of the most famous Solēsne Throne, much to the despair of House Solēsne. They are known best for their failure to synchronize, and the resultant death of a House Venvin scion at their hands, or rather teeth. Horotmu-Pavam has become a character of academic interest, a case study on the art of matching Headless and Unbodied, and a dramatic illustration of the consequences should a pair be ill-considered.
#This was going to have a longer caption but it became like... a summary for a short story.#It ended up 3 pages long and it's not even finished..#I'm in a weird place at this moment where i want to write but don't feel especially inspired so it's all coming out very flat#even if the contents are what i want to convey.#I'll share more about these freaks later when I can#Also the clothing here came out vaguely Byzantine and it wasn't necessarily intentional but If that's the direction things go I'm not#going to resist it#Thrones#Jar of Mice#Horotmu-Pavam
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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Me when i draw the same angst for the billionth time
#i cant be bothered to finish this rn so posting it incomplete it is#wip#but not really#“know its for the better” for who? for when? not us. not now#immortal au#doodles#sunshine draws#dca au#dca fandom#dca community#oc#dca fnaf#dca sun#i need to write a 10 page essay about their very loving very good and questionably healthy but incredibly fucked relationship#specially as the lonely and aware ones that had to pick up the pieces of the mess they found themselves in#and let break apart instead of holding to each other#what could they have done together anyway?#immortal au art 🎨
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Okay hear me out
Nightmare asking Killer if there's anything he wants and Killer says he wants to go see Color in the omega timeline. He hasn't seen him in a while and he misses his friend, but Nightmare takes this to mean he wants to leave and stay with Color permanently.
He agrees, because even though it makes him deeply sad to lose one of his men, he needs to let Killer go and live with other mortals and be happy. Killer texts Color and goes to pack a bag and Nightmare opens a portal and takes him to the omega timeline. They meet Color and he's looking very suspicious of Nightmare while Killer runs up all excited and off they go.
And Nightmare goes back to the castle. He spends the rest of the day in a weird daze, feeling kind of empty. When the others inevitably ask where Killer is, he hesitates and tells them he's in the omega timeline and doesn't elaborate further.
Eventually he shuts himself in his office for the night and just sits at his desk, staring into space. He's glad Killer's happy, of course, but it still hurts that he's gone. What is he going to tell the others when they start asking again, after it's been too long to be a simple visit? Will they all want to leave? They probably all have places to be, maybe he should let them go, would that be better for everyone? If Killer, who was always so eager and happy to be here, wanted nothing more than to get out, what does that mean for the rest of them?
This is the beginning of the end, isn't it? He'll have to let them all go, and then he'll be alone. Just like when he and Dream were kids and Dream would go off with his own friends. Except he can talk to Dream now, can't he? Maybe he should ask him about this. If nothing else maybe Dream would agree to visit him, once they're all gone.
But before he can pick up his phone and call his brother, it starts buzzing and it's Killer like "Okay I'm ready to come home now c:"
#UTDR#UTMV#Nightmare Sans#Killer Sans#I dunno this has just been in my head for a bit and I wanted to get it out#I might try and write it properly if I ever finish the other thing I started#Just the idea of Nightmare having this awful night filled with anxiety and sadness and staring down the barrel of losing all his boys#And then he picks up the phone and Killer's like ''hey when are you coming to get me? it's like noon here''#Also the idea of him visiting Color when Nightmare's not looking by getting Cross to leave him out#And when Nightmare asks one day Dust is like ''he's off being gay with his boyfriend''#But Nightmare's old-timey language translates it as he's off to be happy with his friend#Like he's not happy here and wants to be with Color instead#I dunno comedic misunderstandings are fun I think
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HAPPY NEWONDERHOY YEAR 🍡
#its still jan 1st somewhere . right#HAPPY NEW YEAR. HAPPY NEW YURI#project sekai#pjsk#an shiraishi#prsk#tsukasa tenma#proseka#Hatsune amiky acolorful Stage[FOGHORN]#inknow i csnt write kanji OK stroke order has me fucked up#redraw of last years to thank them both for arriving with 30k gems to spare vut i [cough] i [wheeze]#i kind of think last years was. more slayful...[throws a smokebomb and when it clears im laying unconscious on the ground]#OK last year i remember literally drawing that for like 13 hours snd the anstomy isnt goo so whatevvrr#my life is so jover january 10th btw EMU. {EMU. EMU. EMU#WAAAAH#college starts that week but heh.. luckily my class ends before the event. here we go again#and then nenesnlim and the ruis lim and then (redacted) right after and then peace. and then CORALINTHHEBIX AND WEDDIGN EMU ANDPANDMONIUM A#and i have miku expo and a convention in may.. ehhhahe#im finish um one cosplay hopefilyl for cny but thenother ummm stipid fuckifng tdukasa maybe ill finish it for showtime event mahbe not#i hate her. to the shredder#EMU. oooh emu. Ok sorry goodnight
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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In the narrow hours of the night I will wake to a downpour; through the window see your trashcans shining. I will swaddle myself in your warmest jacket, put on my big rain boots. I will brave this storm for you.
And when I am cold and wet and beyond porch light's reach, trashcans in tow, I will watch the world past your driveway. I will love the way dark turns form to silhouette, how the sound of my steps drown beneath the rain's big hush. I will want to leave you and your trashcans. To wander the earth as all lost things do.
#phrasing inspired by I Will by Mitski#mind adds final lines of Margaret Atwood's Speeches For Dr Frankenstein to the end ('I will not come when you call') but thats a me problem#goddamnit i was trying to write something romantic but it ended up being about religious alienation again#whatever i had a dream about a post with a premise like this so i decided to make it a reality#my poetry#trashcans#(trashcannots)#im supposed to be rushing to finish my CPR recertification rn#meposting#rain
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PSA:
if u have a little inconvenience in front of u,
pump ur tiny fists, ✊️🥺
before facing it head on.
°.* just like lil' sebek did *.°
#THE LITTLE SAD PUMP HE DID TO PEP HIMSELF UP#BEFORE FACING THE ABSOLUTE CHARCOAL OF A DISH#FSGSGSHH#MOD POSTING#i want to get over my little inconvenience too#i hope my visa renewal goes well#🥹#but i have to finish writing first .... s i g h#i love when he puts his hand on his chest and takes a deep breathe to assure/calm himself#me too ... me too ........ 🤧
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