#whats with the way they never had Eddie quality who Buck is

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, but I'm still thinking about the way the show had Buck refer to Eddie as his best friend twice in the last two episodes when the last time that happened was during the tsunami. Because I feel like that proves what I've been saying that Buck put Eddie in a box, labeled it "best friend" somewhere during season 2 and then never looked too close at it again. BUT we don't have an equivalent scene for Eddie. And I'm starting to think that maybe Eddie doesn't have Buck filled under anything. I think Buck exists in his own category in Eddie's brain. I kinda wanna say that faced with the question, Eddie would lean towards partner, but I feel like it would be a "for lack of a better word" moment or out of habit with the fact that they are partners in the job. I don't think Eddie knows how to qualify who Buck is for him. I think Buck exists in his brain and in there he's just there as Buck. I don't even think the words "best friend" would cross his mind. He's Buck. And he loves the guy. And that's it. I don't think he's ever looked that closely to who Buck is to him. Like never. Buck won him over with the Carla thing, and that put Buck in a position Eddie couldn't compare to something he knew, so he just didn't qualify it. And this is gonna come up. I don't think Buck using "best friend" is just about adding to the "it was never about Eddie" thing and drawing a line. I keep going back to the idea of Chris getting hurt and Eddie just grabbing Buck and saying "we're his parents" on instinct and that creating a moment of panic for both of them. But I need them to force Eddie to say who Buck is to him. Like, really. I need it.

[alchemistc]

911 was always in my periphery bc of how popular Buck x Eddie is on Tumblr and Ao3. I didn't really want to watch a cable network procedural drama, especially one that came off as so unserious. I could also see how such invested shipping by a lot of fans who are young and think it’s ok to demand things from the cast and crew would inevitably become a toxic cesspool. I stand by that assessment of the show based on the behavior of the fandom these last months, as well as the overall quality of the writing and how often good story lines just get dropped or undermined.

However, I heard about Buck coming out. Over the summer, I was going through a lot and feeling aimless, so I finally started watching the show. And I liked Buck and Tommy, but what I really loved was the quality of the fan works they inspired. At the end of the day, I never really had real expectations of high quality television from a show like 911; that’s not what it’s for.

Despite this, what really affected me last night—which was also the first episode I bothered watching live ever because of how terrible this last week has been—wasn’t even how badly it was executed or the fact that they broke up. But how unnecessarily and viciously cruel the whole thing felt?

What was the point of showing Tommy as a caring, supportive, present partner in the previous episode if it was going to lead to an unceremonious break up? What was the point of showing his yearning for connection and family only to see him throw it all away? Why have him say such wonderful things about Buck moments before questioning the commitment of their relationship after six months together? What was the point of Buck getting that speech from Josh and bringing up marriage and moving in together and that Tommy had been a transformative relationship when it was going to end with him being dumped? It just felt so horribly cruel to see a character bare his tender heart and see it get stomped on. He looked so sad at the end.

Up till the very end of the episode, I was actually really enjoying it. Their acting was so good from heart eyes to heartbreak, and the show seemed to understand Tommy’s reaction to Buck getting hit on by those women would cause friction. It even made sense to me that Tommy would recoil at the prospect of moving in together because Buck clearly hasn’t come to terms with being queer yet (sir, you haven’t researched the Kinsey scale? You?) And Tommy is also clearly afraid to reach for the connections he wants and the seeming inevitability of his heart being broken and is masking that with nonsense about Buck needing to play the field and the biphobia present wherein. It was such an interesting depth to his character! I thought the break up speech was so well-acted, and I was so ready for the conversation they were going to have that would address it and let them move on together stronger. To see Buck learn from Josh and see the scars Tommy was unintentionally revealing in that moment and address them.

And then the credits started rolling and I felt like I got punched in the gut.

It was definitely the straw that broke the camel’s back for me, with the election and other personal stuff really stressing me out this week. Last night, I felt sick and unable to sleep, and I spent the morning bawling my eyes out. It feels like one of the few things I really looked forward to had been snatched away for the shock factor. I believe the interviews are the definite death knell, but even if you don’t follow the interviews, it was just a cruel way to end the episode. Even if this ends up being a temporary roadblock or they “fix” it, it’ll always leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Anyway, I’m upset that I let a show I always knew wasn’t very good affect me this much, and I regret spending months of my life on it. But the reason I wanted to send this ask was because my real hyperfixation these last few months was never the show itself; it was always the Bucktommy fandom. Reading some of the most beautiful fanfiction, including yours, these deep and intense character studies or au’s or future fics that show more love to these characters than the show does. The stunning art, the lovingly rendered gifs, the startlingly funny and insightful writing. The fandom has been my real love, and I hope that despite this huge blow, people like you will continue being so immensely creative and artistic for this ship.

I’m sorry this has been so long and vent-y, but I wanted to send you this ask because you’re one of my favorite fic authors, and I’ve been following your posts since last night and you’re still responding to anonymous asks. I’ve always been stealth in the fandom to avoid certain parts of it, so didn’t want this on my own blog. If you do publish it, I hope the other authors and artists and creators who have made my life better get to see it too <3 And that they don’t regret the time and passion and love they’ve poured into the last few months. I have appreciated it, if nothing else.

Hi.

First of all, please don't apologize for the length of this.

Everything you pointed out were exactly the reasons people joined this fandom. Everything you listed here is EXACTLY the reason it left such a bad taste in our mouth.

I'm sorry I won't be more eloquent in this post, because this is such a kind and thoughtful and lovely summation of all the things I've been hearing and seeing and feeling.

The point of all that, if we are to believe Lou (which I do, and honestly props to him for being as gracious as he was in those post-mortems: fucking TWO exit interviews for a guest star? wtf abc), WAS to pull the rug out from under the audience. It WAS to end it all on a shocker of heartbreak. They filmed the bulk of Tommy's S8 scenes AFTER the breakup. It is absolutely vicious and cruel and meant to make people talk about it. The engagement they are getting right now is to some extent WHAT THEY WANTED. I went straight to my notes after work and I can't be fucked to check the insta or FB to see if they've posted anything new and/or what the comment count is on the 8x06 posts but THIS IS THE INTENDED RESULT. Broken hearts, upset people, an increasingly toxic fandom crowing.

That's where I'm at. I think that's where a lot of people have landed. And it's so disheartening to see something that really genuinely drew people in because it was handled so gently and kindly at first just be ripped away and the door shut on it.

And honestly if they close the mid season OR open or close 8B on a premise that includes one of them being injured and the other having a Realization™️ I won't trust this team to do it genuinely or truly. Even the breakup would have held so much potential for me, but not like this.

Anyway. I'm sorry you're feeling so disappointed. I am grieving the missed potential of literally every plot they built up this season for every character and if I do watch it won't be live and I will likely have very little trust for it's potential. There has been So Much wasted potential.

And I want to say thank you. Even if you lurked, even if you disengage now, the creators who made those works made them out of love and they wanted to share them and the community around it all has been lovely to see. Thank you.

Some of us will still be hanging around building the world that could have been. I hope, if you feel up to peeking at that sandbox, that you feel welcome to go play in it or even just clap from the sidelines.

♥️

[capseycartwright]

can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la

Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right? - or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.

written for week one of @summerofbuddie- mixed media. the mixed media part of this fic is eddie's big gay playlist, and is full of what i believe to be all of eddie's favourite queer music. pls enjoy.

ao3 link

Buck had always thought that Eddie was beautiful. He knew how that sounded – but even when he had thought he was straight, Buck had always felt quite comfortable in his masculinity. Men were beautiful. Okay, sure, with the benefit of hindsight, it was long-buried bisexuality threatening to burst to the surface, but the point stood: Eddie Diaz had always been beautiful to Buck. 

Physically, yes, he was beautiful. He had these big brown eyes that had always been incredibly effective at getting Buck to do all the things Eddie didn’t want to do –  small things, like driving (of course, because Eddie was a passenger princess at heart, and Buck was more than happy to indulge), and cooking, until Eddie had begun to find a love for that himself, and the bigger things too, like agreeing to be Eddie’s medical proxy, and being Christopher’s guardian in case – well, Buck didn’t like to articulate the rest of that one. It felt like jinxing it, so he always left it at ‘in case’ – nothing else needed to be said.

Eddie was physically beautiful – he had the softest brown hair Buck had ever come across, and a sweet grin that got him more than his fair share of attention on calls, and firefighting had packed on a lot of muscle over the years, so maybe he wasn’t the proud owner of an eight-pack, anymore, but Eddie’s body was strong, and capable, and Buck felt that was beautiful too. 

Eddie was gorgeous, was the thing – but he wasn’t just physically beautiful. Eddie Diaz had a really beautiful personality, too. It had taken a while for him to allow Buck to get to know it – and not just Buck, for everyone else, too – but when Eddie had decided to let people in, and see who he truly was, underneath the somewhat gruff exterior, there has been so much beauty there. Eddie was kind, kind in a way that Buck could only admire, genuine in his kindness. Buck could see where Christopher got it from.

Eddie was gentle, too. Buck knew most people would doubt that, given the life Eddie led – an army veteran with a penchant for street fighting and Muay Thai – but Buck knew better. Those were all circumstances, responses to a life filled with trauma, and underneath all of that, Eddie was the gentlest person he knew. Eddie would always be the one who carefully picked up spiders, and bees, if they found their way into the firehouse, or Buck’s apartment, or his own home, and he’d coo gently as he brought them to the window, setting them free before anyone (Buck, usually) could hit them with a stray hardback novel. Eddie liked to garden, a collection of brightly coloured flowers growing in the front bed right outside his porch, Eddie humming to himself as he watered them, the image one Buck hoped would be seared into his memory forever.

Eddie was gentle with Christopher. Buck hadn’t exactly grown up with a father he aspired to be like – Philip had been cold, and distant, and though Buck understood why now, he would never forgive it. Eddie had been through his fair share of heartbreak, and trauma, and yet he still raised Christopher with a gentle hand, guiding his son through life in a way Buck had never experienced himself. He was glad to be able to watch it, though, watch as Eddie learned from his own mistakes, and apologised to Chris, and did better for his son every day. 

Eddie was gentle with Buck.

Buck was a lot, he knew – he was loud, and talkative, and the undiagnosed ADHD he definitely had made it so both of those qualities were amplified when he was stressed, or anxious, which was frankly, a lot of the time. Buck knew he earned his eyerolls and exasperated looks – but never from Eddie. Eddie always listened, attentive and eager to learn as Buck went off on tangent about the latest fun thing he learned. Eddie was the first to suggest a gym session, when he knew Buck was antsier than normal, suggesting they work off some of his nervous energy before their next call.

Eddie had been there after the truck bombing, gentle as he had torn down Buck’s already shaky walls, gentle as he helped Buck in, and out of bed, gentle as he’d helped him shower, shrugging off Buck’s thanks with a ‘you’d do the same for me’ and a smile. 

(Buck would do the same for Eddie – he would do anything for Eddie.)

Eddie was beautiful. Eddie was beautiful when he smiled, when he laughed, Eddie was beautiful in every single conceivable way to Buck –

But this might be the most beautiful Buck had ever seen his best friend.

read the rest on ao3

[matan4il]

Buddie 612 meta

I don’t think we’ve had this much fodder with such few scenes in a long time, and I am LIVING!

Okay, so first of all I have to mention the parallel between 217, when the team was coming in, one by one, to see the suspended Bobby, and this ep, with everyone dropping by one at a time to be there for the recovering Buck. The similarity is of course in the found family connection. In both cases we see the importance of the absent member of the team through these visits. The difference is in the way the team came to Bobby because they need him to be there for them as their captain and friend even when he’s not on the job. But in Buck’s case, they don’t need anything. They’re coming by because they want to be there for him when he needs his team members and friends. Buck’s parents needed a reason to love him. Buck’s found family in this ep is loving him anyway. ~~

I’m gonna scream about the couch in a second, but I have to admit that while I was watching the ep, the moment that REALLY had my eyes shoot wide open and my breaths go into hyperventilation is when Maddie reads the note saying Buck has gone out. Because as soon as it was made clear Buck had chosen to escape his apartment and all of his visitors, I knew where he was headed. First off, the very fact that everyone else came to him, while Eddie was the one person Buck chose to go to already had me biting my fists. Once more, like in so many other cases (for example, when the lightning hit and Eddie was filmed differently to everyone else in the 118, or the way he was the only absent person in Buck’s dream and the only one Buck remembered without needing a physical object to jog his memory), Eddie is singled out as having a unique space in Buck’s life that no one else occupies. And of course there is this domestic quality and element of choosing each other as we see them repeatedly opening the door for and to get to the other one. ~~

But just think of the meaning! This man puppy, who only ever wanted to be loved and who’s being showered with attention and care, is absolutely restless because he’s having a hard time and feels like he has to pretend with the people he loves the most, and therefore he’s failing to fall asleep on his own couch. He seeks comfort in a connection that’s even deeper than the people who have been to see him, where he can really be himself without pretense. And that’s what’s insane, because he was visited among others by Maddie and Hen, his loving blood and adoptive big sisters. NO ONE can claim that his r/s with them is anything other than deep, and yet when he needed something more, when he needed an escape, when he needed a place where he could simply rest and be himself, he went to Eddie’s. This isn’t just Buck standing in Eddie’s kitchen declaring, “I’m not really a guest” in 311. This is him being more of a guest in his own apartment than in Eddie’s house. This is him being home and safe and able to JUST BE in Eddie’s space.

This is Buck beginning his healing by sleeping on the SAME couch where Eddie did in 514, connecting their healing in a parallel that is going to make me tear my own hair out. Which actually connects us back to 407, when Buddie talk about Buck’s need for his loft to be his safe space. Now it’s canon that this desired safe space is Eddie’s home, and I will chew through every piece of glass out there before I calm down from this. Once again, there are opposite sex canon couples on TV who never get this level of soulmate development! ~~

Oh, I also found it very interesting that Buck tells Maddie about his list he goes through every time he wakes up, to make sure he’s not in the coma world. We didn’t see him going through those steps when he woke up on Eddie’s couch. Remember how I said Eddie had to be absent in the dream world or Buck might not have made it out of there? Well, this ep adds to that. By virtue of being the only one who’s fully absent, it means Eddie is the one person whose very presence is a cue for Buck that he’s in the real world and safe, the only one who, by simply being there, negates the need for a list. I AM MELTING. (my gif, please excuse the awfulness) ~~

Speaking of soulmates bonding, I have to point out the opposite sex soulmates we do have in this very ep. Bobby confesses that Athena is it for him because she makes him feel like he’s standing on solid ground, she helps him be himself by finding again a piece of him.

We also see her becoming a part of his healing process when he allows her to come to his AA meeting. This is exactly what we see Buddie going through in 612! Eddie is Buck’s solid ground, the person he can count on and who can provide him with rest (that’s what solid ground represents), who allows him to simply be himself, and Eddie is also a part of the healing process that Buck allows him into by seeking out Eddie, and by opening up to him when Eddie asks him to, after finally getting some rest on the couch... ~~

That brings me to the couch because that in itself is just... Wow, this show really hates my nails and wants me to chew on them fully, I see how it is. Let’s not forget for how long the couch metaphor has been with us! Once Taylor and Buck discussed their couches situation when she was moving in with him in 513, and it was clear there was an incompatibility issue because she was bringing in a couch while he already had one (meaning they had already failed to communicate about this pretty basic point), it was clear they’d have to choose only one and dispose of the other. Very tellingly Taylor doesn’t really leave room for choice, so Buck (who only asked her to move in out of guilt) gave up his for hers. That’s the start of the couch being a metaphor for his romantic relationships, and I can’t believe it started a whole season before this ep! And then when Taylor moved out in 518, he was left with none? But that wasn’t unhinged enough for our show, so they brought it into an even greater focus with the lasagna scene in 601, when it was made even clearer that the “right couch” for Buck is about his romantic partner, that he’s aware of that significance, and that he admitted to it IN EDDIE’S PRESENCE. I can’t believe Buck fell asleep like that on Eddie’s couch, when they BOTH KNOW what the couch means. This is the most naked two men have ever been with each other on a TV show without taking their clothes off! Then Buck’s parents get him a couch he doesn’t want, one that’s all wrong for him, one he didn’t get to CHOOSE, so unsurprisingly he can’t sleep on it. That would have been a lot already, but then this ep turns around and SLAMS US IN THE FACE with Eddie’s couch being the right one for Buck to fall asleep on and to do so effortlessly! Two seconds on it, and Buck was out. That’s okay, 911, I just have to work a double shift while I’m sick today, I didn’t need to also have my sanity. You absolutely can have everything left of it. (my gif, please excuse it) ~~

I know it’ll sound dumb, but I was happy crying over the beers in Eddie’s fridge and the zoomed in shot we got of them. Look, it’s their thing, right? We’ve seen the two of them sipping on beers together in the iconic 309 kitchen scene (NGL, the oral sex scene in my Blue Against Blue fic was inspired by this), and it’s been a repeated theme, so when I saw Eddie had no less than 6 beers easily accessible in the top shelf of his fridge, chilling away, it screamed “This is my Buck stash” to me.

I will forever be a mess that Eddie Diaz, tough war veteran, actually has a supply of beers ready in his fridge for whenever soft man puppy Evan Buckley drops by unannounced. Can you imagine when Eddie goes grocery shopping and he probably smiles softly to himself when he buys his Buck beers? These two are so domestic and in love and equally soft about each other, it’s gross. And by gross I mean I love it, please gimme more. ~~

Oh, but the domesticity just keeps leveling up in this ep! Because then Buck wakes up and makes his way to the kitchen, where he just… lets Eddie take care of him by serving water. And it’s so tender and husbandy, and affectionate, and connects so perfectly to Eddie asking Buck to share with him. Because Buck wouldn’t let others fuss over him, but he lets his hubby take care of him. And he doesn’t tell others, even ones who are significant people in his life, where he’s really at, but he will share everything with Eddie. Not to mention that it doesn’t take much to get him to open up. All Eddie has to do is ask, and despite Buck’s initial announcement not to, he just goes right ahead and spills. I am inhaling and exhaling into the palms of my hands.

Of course, tucked in there is also Buck asking Eddie about the shooting. We all remember Buddie holding eye contact through that and Eddie reaching out to him, right? Or everything that transpired between them in the ambulance, all of it so romantically coded... This scene tells us that Eddie doesn’t remember those bits. I find it interesting to consider that maybe Eddie really doesn’t. That maybe the reason he hasn’t figured out yet how he feels for Buck is because he blanked out on the way he turned to Buck during the most intense moments of his life, and the ones he thought were his last. ~~

I mentioned during the hiatus in replies to asks I got that I suspected just like the distance between Buddie in 5a served to bring them closer together in 5b as Buck helped Eddie with his healing, the same structure was being followed in s6, just in the reverse, where Eddie will eventually help Buck. You can’t imagine how deep and meaningful I find it, that the show has actually structured these two seasons as counter paralleling each other, and showing Buddie as being a vital part of this mutual healing, so I tried to demonstrate that with this gifset. ~~

Last one! The cardiologist. Look, I already mentioned in my previous weekly meta that the heart theme started with Eddie, and then it was expanded to Buck. I find it insane that the show really hammered it home by having the same cardiologist be the doctor for both men, and that while she’s at it, she hints to both that their issues are not purely physical. How long before the metaphor-loving Buck catches on? IDK, but every single choice about this ep feels incredibly deliberate, when so much is condensed into so few scenes.

(my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ I can’t explain how much I’m asking of the amazing @whosoldherout​ for the gif requests, and the results are always so stunning, I’m deeply grateful!

~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here. Thank you in advance for any reblog and like! I’m sick and took three different medications to be semi-functional, so I really hope you’ll like this. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you did! xoxox

[lemotmo]

I completely understand everyone wanting multiple episodes of focus but that never did feel realistic. So this is a very good point.

Q. I'm sorry but they can't tell queer/gay Eddie in one or two episodes that just wouldn't be realistic in any way. Don't you agree?

A. They told bi Buck in ONE episode. The actual realization of him being bisexual happened in a single episode. And it absolutely worked. It didn't feel rushed or incomplete or unsatisfactory, I mean it feels unsatisfactory now but that's for different reasons, they made it believable. The reason it worked was because, like Eddie, Buck has always been queer coded. So it wasn't this impossible surprise for anyone but the bigots who were never going to approve anyway. They can absolutely tell queer/gay Eddie in one or two episodes. And they can tell it well. The problem is way too many people took a photo of a lamppost and convinced themselves it was definitive proof that Buck and Eddie were going to be together by the end of episode 6. That was what was never going to happen. That is the story they will not rush through. That is the story they will allow, purposeful build up. We had all these little moments and nods of bi possibility throughout Buck's history on the show, and we have the same kind of coded history for Eddie. Oliver, Ryan, Aisha, Kenny and Jen are all mains but Peter and Angela are the stars. They're always going to get more screen time. Everyone else will get episodic focus now and then but not multiple back to back episodes. The show flat out does not have the time to do that. I would imagine episode 6 will work much like Buck Bothered and Bewildered, and Eddie will get the majority of the story. But realistically the show has 15-20 scenes to tell this Eddie story. Lots of people have to recalibrate their timetable. But nothing else has changed. The characters don't function in real world timetables, anon. They function in television timetables and those are not the same. They can tell a very good story in one or two episodes. The Buck episode was beautiful and his OH moment felt realistic and worth it, the stuff that came after is what changed that episode, but the episode by itself was beautifully done.

Thank you Nonny! As always much appreciated!

Ali makes some good points here. Buck's coming out only took one single episode, so why not for Eddie?

If they are going the queer Eddie route, which I'm pretty positive about at this point, they might be aiming for queer Eddie in 8a and eventually Buddie in 8b.

This will give them 10 episodes to play with, because while I do think they'll get Eddie out of that closet relatively fast, I don't think that Buddie will happen that quickly.

Oliver talked about that slow burn element, that 'will they, won't they' quality to keep the audience guessing. You can't do that in 1 or 2 episodes. So I'm thinking they'll make good use of those 10 episodes to give us that slow burn we've all been craving. Even ending it all with a Buddie cliffhanger, so we can all go through hiatus high on Buddie pheromones. 🤣

It'll all depend on the next 3 episodes now. So let's stay calm and focus on what we'll get. Whatever happens with Eddie in episode 6 will help set the tone for the other 2 episodes of 8a. Then we'll know once and for all where this story is going. 🤞🤞🤞

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[poughkeepsies]

Not to make this 1000 times worse for everyone but actually, 614 and 615 were the episodes for both Buck and Eddie mutually rejecting each other and the other's place in their lives by implying that they are lacking in the area that is the other's love language. Lemme see if I can hold my pieces together long enough to explain.

614 with Eddie rejecting Buck was much more subtle and didn't show a reaction from Buck beyond general jealousy because I fully believe that Buck doesn't know he's in love with Eddie, because he never even allowed himself to consider it as an option. He is too petrified of people leaving and too incapable of accepting that he can be loved to ever put himself in a position to hope for something that has the potential to devastate him so thoroughly. But whether he knows he's in love with Eddie or not, over the past 5 seasons he has thrown himself completely and utterly head-first into being there for Eddie and Christopher, being their best friend and their safe place. He exists as a part of their lives that no one but Shannon has ever even come close to occupying. Buck doesn't do grand declarations like Eddie does, but he shows his love through quality time and acts of service and all of that boils down to making sure the Diaz boys are never, ever alone. And yet, just last episode Eddie decided that he wants to start dating because he doesn't want to be "alone" anymore. Eddie is scared of dying alone when Buck has proven time and time again that there is no mess, battlefield, or locked door that could keep him from Eddie if he's ever in danger. So if Eddie is still feeling alone, still scared of dying alone, then maybe the kind of partnership and presence Buck brings to their lives simply isn't what Eddie is looking for, at least in a romantic sense. Even if he isn't aware of his feelings yet, even subconsciously Buck would take that as a door closing in his face before he even had the chance to knock. And so continues the pattern of Eddie jumping back into the dating game and Buck diving in seconds after him.

Now, of course, Eddie isn't saying that because Buck isn't enough. Buck is everything he wants or needs in a partner, but that scares him because Eddie is aware of his feelings and that makes him so acutely aware of the fact that Buck will find someone else to settle down with and start his own family with any day now, and when that happens Eddie really will be well and truly alone. He can't break his own heart, he needs to start being proactive because he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life alone after Buck has moved on.

And in 615, when Buck says that Natalia really sees him, he's discounting the way Eddie has always unspokenly expressed his love for him. Because maybe Eddie hasn't ever used those exact words before, but every one of his major declarations, including "there's no one in this world I trust with my son more than you" (THE TO BE SEEN, TO BE FOUND SCENE?? HELLO???), "I love him enough to never stop trying and I know you do too", "I forgive you", "I know", "It's in my will if I die you become Christopher's legal guardian", and especially "you act like you're expendable, but you're wrong", have been just another way of Eddie telling him I see you for all that you are and I love you for it. The expandability line is a particularly unsubtle standout because it's absolutely paralleled with both Taylor and Margaret telling Buck "you think you're invincible but you're wrong," and there Eddie was again, paired against Buck's mom and his girlfriend, two of the people who should know him and love him the best and yet just don't. And oh shit I'm realizing this just as I'm typing this but Eddie is yet again being paralleled against Buck's mom and his girlfriend (the girlfriend now being Natalia). In 6x10 when Margaret calls him a "miracle baby" and the way Natalia gushes about his death - Buck's death and his birth, two of the most traumatic things that have ever happened to him and Buck is someone who so desperately wants everything to be okay, wants the trauma to have some grand meaning, so he takes the out and takes the win and he lets them let him hide behind the superficial positive bullshit. But Eddie, Eddie sees Buck and Eddie knows him and loves him enough that he can tell just how not okay all of this is, not just for Buck but for all the rest of the people who love him as well, and he doesn't want him to hide away from it because Buck shouldn't have to pretend to be unchanged but he should acknowledge the way he's changed. Eddie is seeing Buck more than Buck can handle being seen right now and Buck is unconsciously rejecting it by placing preference over the way Natalia sees him. Except to an Eddie who is already convinced Buck doesn't feel the same, who is so scared of being alone after Buck has moved on, this feels like just another way he won't be enough for Buck and the time when he'll really well and truly be alone is more and more drawing near. There's even something to be said about the fact that we see Eddie visibly realize just how much Buck has been affected as he's talking - the fact that he's realizing this so late may be making him even more sure of his inadequacy.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

📖📖📖📖

all blues again i guess!

YEAH! Although the loop is purple for me. Oh well!

24 for ➰

Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings

---

“Do I die the most often?” Buck asks. 

Eddie’s eyes lose their sleepy quality. 

“What?”

“On the go-arounds,” Buck clarifies. “If we mess up the timeline, is it usually me who dies?”

Eddie swallows. He rubs his eyes.

“It’s random,” Eddie says. “I haven’t counted.”

“But if you had to guess, who is it most often?” Buck asks. 

“Okay,” Eddie sighs. “Yeah. Maybe you. You’re the clumsiest.”

Okay, well that’s… Yeah. Fair. Give Buck an opportunity to trip and he’ll take it. He thinks of all the ways he can remember dying outside of the restaurant. The rocks, he did fall. Okay, clumsiness. The car, he was distracted, arguing with Eddie. 

---

30 for 🔼:

---

She still wants a divorce. Still doesn’t want him. Might prefer to have Buck. And hell, he understands that. He would, too, if he were her. But he’s here and he knows her and he can make her feel good and he needs this, too. 

Shannon gets the message. 

She closes the remaining space between them and before Eddie knows it, they’re kissing. The same way they’ve always kissed. Frantic and hungry and full of as much need as love. It’s the only thing they’ve both always been good at at the same time. Eddie feels a wash of relief crash over him at things falling back into place, even if only for a moment. 

They kiss, and everything is good again. Everything feels like home. 

They kiss, and he’s here with her. He’s here with her, but he’s also wondering. Wondering what kissing Buck was like. Imagining him, standing just behind Eddie. Lips ghosting at the back of his neck. Eddie could drown in the moment; the blend of reality and fantasy.

He lifts her. Takes them both to her bedroom. Starts undressing her as he sets her on the bed. It’s easy for him to maneuver her. Something he knows she’d liked a lot when they got back together. At the height of their relationship together - when they were kids, at their best - he hadn’t been nearly as strong as he is now. And then he got stronger, but he was gone. And when he was back, they hardly touched each other. But he can do this for her now. He can be strong.

---

15 for 🧟:

---

Hen might be the luckiest person in the whole apocalypse. She knows this. Without a doubt, she understands this. Never forgets to count her damn blessings. Everyone has lost someone. Even her. Most people have lost everything. But here Hen is, with her wife and son, safe and secure, and honestly? Happy. Very happy. 

Could life be less dangerous and insecure? Yes. Would she prefer no zombie apocalypse? Obviously. Does she worry about her son’s future constantly? For sure. 

---

12 for 📖:

---

So things are good. No complaints. And if Buck feels that age old loneliness creeping over him, he ignores it. He’s still got more than he’s ever had. 

2019

vi. 

The first time Buck sees Eddie and Christopher after the Christmas holidays, there’s a woman with them. Which is fine. Totally fine. Buck has no reason to feel a tight knot in his stomach, so he simply doesn’t. Whatever.

“Buck, this is my mom!” Christopher introduces them excitedly. “Mom, this is the best librarian in the whole world, Buck.”

[blazinghotfoggynights]

I am so happy for episode 7x4. Why? It has already led to lines of communication about romantic and queer journeys that are not typical.

I see Team!Tuck and Team!Buddie have some members that are not happy with the other and think the other team is delusional or doesn't make sense. Only the members of that show's crew know what is going to happen. For all we know, Buck could meet a third party, fall in love, leave the 118, and go off to happily ever after.

(I so don't want that. But what can a girl do?)

I want to say that as someone who probably has just a teeny bit more of life experience than many people on here and other social media, no I am not sharing my age, I have seen, and experienced, a lot. Remember I mentioned lines of communication opening? They are open now because people are inspired and feel empowered to share their thoughts and experiences.

To Team!Tuck, yes, Team!Buddie is still quite a possibility. How? Did you know you can be so in love with someone you have no idea you are in love with them? Sounds crazy, right? But it can happen. It took many years for me to see that I was head over heels for my best friend. I never considered it. I never looked at him that way. We were just really close and besties.

It took someone asking me if I were stuck on a deserted island and could only have one person there with me, who I would choose. I said his name instead of my then boyfriend's name. I didn’t even think about it. It was reflexive.

The person was staring at me smiling and watching me as I realized what I’d said and then a montage of our friendship played in my mind.

“Oh my god.” That was me.

“Finally figured it out?” That was the other person.

When I thought about it, I compared men to him all the time. The qualities I was most attracted to in my partners up to that point were qualities they shared with him. But it was at that moment, many years into our friendship, that I realized that had been happening.

This leads me to Team!Buddie. Team!Tuck is valid and could very well be endgame. If the writers make Eddie a completely hetero man with no flexibility, Buddie will not happen. However, they have offered a character who is literally an amalgamation of Buck and Eddie as a possible love interest. It is funny to me, because when I look at the Tommy character I see the lovechild of Eddie Diaz and Evan Buckley. Buck picked a man who mirrors him physically but shares a lot with Eddie including military background, quick wit, snarkiness, the willingness to say screw the rules when needed, hobbies, etc.

If Buck knows with no uncertainty that Eddie is not, and will never be, an option, wouldn’t it make sense that a man who is so much like Eddie would catch Buck’s eye?

I will also say that it is not impossible for someone who truly believes they are 100% heterosexual their entire lives to realize one day that may not be the case. How do they realize it? They look at someone of the same sex and have an epiphany.

As a young one who was new to this world, I fell for the rhetoric that sexuality is static and does not change. You were either straight or gay. There was nothing else.

This older, wiser version of me knows the only things you can count on in life are change, surprise, and unpredictability. She is also grateful for those who worked hard to explain that sexuality is a spectrum and give those who never quite found a space a label that finally fit.

She is extremely grateful for the brave people who who have the courage to live out loud and raise their voices in pride so others know maybe one day they can do the same.

I will always have my fingers crossed for Buddie endgame. I’m talking big wedding, tears being shed, vows so sweet everyone requires insulin. You get the picture.

However, I also want to see the two characters who never have happiness or a partner who truly supports them find what Hen/Karen and Athena/Bobby have. If that is with other people, so be it.

One more time, I am going to say major respect for ABC and the show writers for flipping off that network that can go to hell and giving this arc life and to Oliver and Lou for doing what is bound to piss off a lot of people who won't be shy about vocalizing their narrowmindedness.

[family-tree-of-ships]

So, I’ve been thinking.

Buck has some seriously bad taste in girlfriends over the course of these glorious 6 seasons, before he decides to see if the other side can bring some light in. I mean, all of the women he has seriously dated had some strong likable qualities to them and they all wanted what’s best for Buck (I’m trying at my own share of optimism here). I think, from all of them, Abby was his most successful one (before it obviously crashed and burned and shattered his big wonderful heart). It had something none of the other ones had. Acceptance and honesty. Abby accepted his job, listened when Buck was caught up into his head about the stresses of the job. Buck accepted her problems with her mother and helped her through while she was alive and for a good time after she passed. Buck was honest with her, as she was with him. They had been through their fair share of trials and tribulations. Up until she left for Europe, I honestly liked them together.

Once they’re officially over, all the other relationships he has either miss one or the other.

Ali couldn’t get over the dangers Buck was open to while on the job.

Taylor fully accepted his job, even was honest and genuine with him at some point. Buck didn’t reciprocate either. He couldn’t get over her intense ambition for every new story she could use to her benefit (to which she obtained by breaching his trust, both when they first met and when they were well into their relationship). He wasn’t open with her, again, in many circumstances. Even cheated on her with Lucy, for whom he didn’t have any sort of feelings other than attraction. When you get drunk, the truth comes out. There’s no devil, just a complete lack of self-restraint. If Buck truly loved her, which we know he didn’t, since her answer to her confession was literally “Good.”, getting drunk should’ve confirmed his affections, not completely contradict them. Buck, seems like an affectionate and happy drunk, since that’s who he is. If he loved Taylor, we should’ve gotten a sequence in which he calls her and starts spitting dramatic declarations or even comes home to her because when you love someone, they’re your home. Your instinct is to go them, not kiss the next person you see. Then, he lies, once he gets to his apartment, after this ‘mistake’. And asks her to move in. Because he got nervous. He couldn’t be honest with her. When they found out, they brushed it off quickly, never to be mentioned again. As if they wore both scared. They break it off, eventually, after a story that should’ve remained private made the headlines. It was an important breach in trust, but it shouldn’t have been enough for Buck, considering how loyal he is (just look at how much he waited for Abby). But it didn’t need to be too much, since there wasn’t anything too significant or tethering between them to begin with.

Natalia was fascinated by his death, which was an instant message that this wasn’t going to last in any way, shape or form. Buck is also dishonest with her, about Lucy and his history with her, again. We can understand this, it shines a bad light on him if he confesses he has cheated before, but didn’t he say she sees him? Shouldn’t that bring out at least some kind of easiness into ending up saying the truth? Apparently not.

We can see why the majority dislike Buck’s choices in the women he dates long-term. Ali and Natalia never get fleshed out. Abby and Taylor do and you, as a watcher, can even sympathize with them, but they both end up really hurting Buck. So, what can you do? Settle for what the show gives you? Fandoms don’t do that, especially when they aren’t satisfied.

Okay, so who reaches those two requirements and is constantly present in Buck’s life, who is properly fleshed out? You guessed it.

Drumrolls, please.

Eddie.

Do we even have to talk about acceptance? Come on.

Eddie has been here since season 2. Through a near death experience, then another one, then a lawsuit and then another one (there’s a lot, enough to fill a whole card-based game). Buck has also had to suffer through two of those near-death meetings with Death that Eddie has had. They’ve fully had each other’s backs within the first 48 hours of meeting one another. Honesty between them is natural and that is expressed in a lot of scenes. To list a few, we have Eddie having panic attacks when he thinks of committing to Ana. He goes and talks about it with Buck and Bobby and then breaks it off with her. Secondly, when Eddie finds about the fates of his army friends and destroys his bedroom through a fit of rage brought on by helplessness and fear. A very vulnerable state to be in (let’s be honest, how many damn people have seen Eddie cry his eyes out?). Buck goes in, listens to him, gives him advice and we later see them both patching up his wrecked bedroom walls. Thirdly, we have Buck going to his house to get some reprieve from the constant worry his friends have for him, knowing that he won’t be pushed here, but comfortably accompanied. He falls asleep immediately (let’s ignore couch theory before I go bonkers). That’s both of them expressing vulnerability and raw honesty. More than they’ve done with any lover, no matter how fleshed out.

There’s clearly an answer here. We’re going to wait until they find it.

[yersina]

concept: buddie supernatural au (the mythos. not the show.)

buck is like the werewolf coded character ever, so ofc that's what he is. he's a werewolf who grew up in a family of werewolves who never made him feel like part of a pack, so he’s trying so desperately to seek connection wherever he can get it. (no, that’s not right—maddie was always pack to him, but then she left with that vampire doug. she always smells a bit like blood now in a way that rubs him wrong, but she’s still staunchly, if tiredly, loyal whenever he nudges her about it, and it hurts to have the reminder that at the end of the day, he’s not her first choice. she’s still pack, she’ll always be pack, but there’s something broken and frayed there now that buck can’t poke at without wanting to break down, so he doesn’t.)

“you go, i go,” connor says, and buck hears pack, so he tags along.

“no man left behind,” the recruiter tells him, and buck hears pack, so he signs himself up for training.

“welcome to the 118,” bobby tells him, and buck still hears pack, but he’s long past trusting his ears.

but things get better. they get worse, first—he’s reminded that humans always find it easier to break bonds than werewolves—but then he’s hired again and saving lives and part of the team. and he has abby, who smells a bit like sickness and a lot like worry the first time he actually meets her, but she has a smile like the moon and always, always picks up the phone when he calls her.

(and then abby goes to europe, and she stops picking up the phone as often. buck doesn’t think of it as leaving him. he doesn’t. he doesn’t.)

the day that eddie shows up and buck catches a whiff of his scent, he’s... confused. the guy absolutely reeks of the sea, in a way that makes no sense if he's telling the truth about being in the army for several years before this. he should smell like sand and gunpowder, but instead buck is reminded of walks along the beach, and with a faint hint of fur and fish, too.

and then he sees the leather jacket that eddie hangs up in his locker.

“damn, this looks like high quality if i’ve ever seen it,” hen says, eyebrows raised, and they practically leap off her face when she catches both of them stiffening when she reaches for it. “oookay. i’ll just. go over there?”

“you brought it with you?” buck hisses at eddie when she’s out of earshot.

“you know what it is?” eddie narrows his eyes. “werewolf? vampire? fairy?” he sniffs the air and then snorts. “werewolf. got it.”

“don’t you have like a—like a box or something to keep it in for safekeeping? a safe?” literally anywhere other than the fire house.

“why don’t you leave my personal belongings to me?” eddie slams his locker door shut. “and the lockbox thing is a stereotype.”

great.

but then they pull a grenade from a man’s leg and they work in a kind of harmony that buck’s never felt before with anyone else on the team, the kind that makes his blood sing and howl in his veins, and eddie says “you can have my back any day” and buck, despite everything, still hears pack.

-

eddie keeps his seal skin with him because he’s had it stolen once. or—stolen is a strong word, it would never hold up in any human court, but instinct doesn't care about semantics, and he’d ended up married anyway. so he always keeps it with him, he always knows where it is, and if he can’t fit it on under or over whatever uniform he's wearing at the time, it’s going in his locker and right back on his person at the end of his shift.

buck still gives him weird looks for it from time to time, like he can’t quite believe that eddie’s willing to take his coat with him outside of his house at all, but he quickly accepts it as the status quo and at least stops questioning him about it. besides, it’s not as if buck’s completely innocent on the supernatural front either. eddie’s never seen any other werewolf take a work shift on a full moon, and even though buck practically vibrates through his shift, he makes it through the night without so much as a five o’clock shadow.

“skipped your pack run?” he asks when they’re all changing back into their civvies. he instantly regrets the question when buck’s shoulders hitch up around his ears in the very picture of uncomfortable.

“i, uh. i have you guys,” buck says with a painful looking smile. shit. “i’ll see you on wednesday, man.”

“buck—” and he’s gone.

he doesn’t even get the chance to work up the courage to ask what that was all about because shannon. shannon.

there’s a lot of anger and betrayal and misunderstanding tangled up in their relationship, but there’s love there still, too. and christopher. always christopher. but then he lets it slip that she’s back in his life now, and buck—

“you're fucking with me, right?” buck’s voice is so flat that it doesn’t even sound like a question.

eddie sighs. “buck—”

“she’s the one who took your coat, right? that’s why you married her? why you had to marry her?”

“buck, it’s not that simple—”

“and now you let her back in, easy as that? you're not even a little bit mad?”

“of course i’m mad!” eddie yells. buck flinches. “but i left her too. it’s complicated, buck.”

despite all the jokes that the rest of the 118 make about buck and his golden retriever, frat boy energy, he’s always been good at thinking on his feet and memorizing facts and putting the pieces of a mystery together. “she gave you back your coat,” he says slowly, like he’s turning the idea over in his mind while he says it. “that’s why you enlisted. you were running. you were free.” eddie doesn’t deny it fast enough. “eddie.”

“like i said. it’s complicated.”

buck shakes his head slowly, eyes wide and wary like eddie’s a stranger that he’s never seen before. “doesn't sound complicated to me.”

the bell rings. eddie’s never been so grateful for a three-alarm fire in his life.

see, the thing is, everything buck is saying is true. shannon is the one who ended up with his coat. eddie did enlist after she gave his coat back. but that ignores everything before and after and in-between. shannon didn’t purposefully take his coat or hide it from him either, and she’d given it back when eddie had been forced to explain when chris would be born with his own coat. and despite everything, despite the fact that he knew he loved her, knew he loved chris—he still chose to leave. he thought he’d been sending a message when he’d chosen something with a built-in return date, a quiet ‘i’ll be back eventually, i promise’ but apparently not.

like he said—it’s complicated.

the universe decides to take that as a challenge, as it always does. shannon, the tsunami, the lawsuit—it’s all so much, all the time, and eddie doesn’t really tune back in to the world until he’s trapped forty feet below the ground, surrounded by water and missing his goddamn coat.

“really?” he asks the muddy tomb around him. “now?”

but the water is an old friend, as always, and he’s much less likely to die of hypothermia or shock from the cold than the average human, so he grits his teeth and dives below the surface. when he crawls his way back to his team, it’s buck that greets him first, pulling him into a hug that’d be painfully tight to a human and smelling of wet fur and tears. “i wasn’t sure you—i knew you’d survive the water, but all the mud on top of you—”

“i’m here,” eddie says, because what else can he say? “i made it.”

he gets bundled up in a blanket and carted off to a paramedic to get checked out, but he doesn’t forget the way buck’s shoulders shook against his own.

-

eddie gets shot and buck falls to fucking pieces because that’s his p—that’s his fucking best friend and now buck knows what his blood feels like on his hands and in his mouth. and he follows eddie all the way to the hospital, all the way to the double doors that he’s never been allowed past, before he remembers—

christopher.

so he stays with eddie’s kid, takes care of him like he’s his own—like eddie would take care of him—and tries not to break down with every lungful of eddieandchris scented air that he takes in their house.

when buck gets that call from ana, he throws himself into action, tugging on a jacket with one hand and juggling his phone with the other so he can make sure that christopher will be safe at home with carla while he rushes to the hospital. to eddie.

ana’s presence hardly registers when he bursts into that hospital room and sees eddie on the bed. his scent is weak and laced with the smell of disinfectant and chemicals but his smile is still warm and alive and oh, buck missed him.

“h-hey,” buck stammers, pulling up short next to the bed. he’s not sure if he should or even can pick up eddie’s hand. can he touch? will eddie break? “i—i made sure that no one touched your stuff at the firehouse, your coat’s still safe, i promise, and—and chris is at home, i’ve been staying with him, making sure that he’s okay—did you know he’s been doing a good job in science class?—and i told carla to wait for a video call maybe, if you’re up to it, so—”

“buck.” and then all of the words spilling from his mouth come to a trembling halt when eddie puts a hand on his arm. “hey. breathe.” buck sucks in a reedy breath. “everything you did was perfect. thank you.”

buck’s exhale shakes. “yeah?”

the smile that eddie gives him could rival the sun in its warmth. “yeah.”

and then later, after eddie’s been discharged—

“you’re not expendable,” eddie says. “if i die, i want you to take care of christopher,” eddie says. buck’s blood is roaring in his ears.

oh.

oh.

OH.

all he hears is he’s yours too.

“eddie,” he chokes out. he dives for eddie, burrowing into his surprised embrace and wishing he could wrap his furry body around eddie and smother him with licks and kisses because human comfort just doesn’t compare sometimes. instead, he settles for tucking eddie’s face into the curve of his neck, right where buck’s the most vulnerable.

it’s not the same, he chants to himself, it doesn’t mean the same thing to him as it does to you, but that doesn’t matter over the triumphant roar of PACK in his veins. packs share pups. that’s the whole point of packs—so the children can grow up safely, surrounded by family. and eddie just gave him his.

he would’ve taken care of chris without the confirmation—already has been, really—but it feels entirely different to have the words out in the open, to know that eddie feels the same way. mine, he thinks with vicious satisfaction and something that feels a little too similar to relief, twisting his fingers tighter into eddie’s shirt. mine mine mine mine mine.

“thank you,” he whispers into eddie’s collarbone. “this means. uh. a lot. thank you.”

“hey.” buck can feel eddie’s confusion in the way his body doesn’t quite know whether to lean in or not, but it doesn’t make his voice any less warm. “i’m just making it official, yknow? i want someone who’d fight for him as hard as i would. and i know that’s you. it’s been you.”

“mhm.” buck’s hardly listening anymore. he just curls up and lets himself breathe out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. i’ve found them, he thinks. the missing pieces to my puzzle.

[exhuastedpigeon]

take my hand, don't let it go

Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz 2.3k Teen In which Buck realizes that dating Natalia isn't what he needs and talks to Eddie about their shared death related trauma.

In retrospect, dating a death doula pretty soon after one of the most traumatic experiences of Buck’s life, an experience where he actually died, was maybe not Buck’s smartest decision. It was just that Natalia really seemed to understand what he was feeling, she thought it was interesting that he had died, not tragic. She didn’t treat him like he was fragile the way most of his friends and family were. 

His friends and family hadn’t come out and said they thought it was a bad idea, but there had been enough last minute cancellations when Buck had mentioned Natalia would be there that Buck got the memo. And at first that had frustrated Buck, but now he was starting to see that maybe it wasn’t the best move for his mental health. 

“So, my roommate googled you,” Natalia said one afternoon a few weeks after Buck delivered Connor and Kameron’s baby in his living room. Natalia had been a little weird about it, but given the circumstances, who wouldn’t have been. 

“Trying to find my firefighter calendar shoot?” Buck tried for a teasing tone, but he was pretty sure he missed the mark. Natalia didn’t seem to notice though. 

“Making sure you aren’t a murderer, I think,” Natalia shrugged and Buck was reminded that dating is very different for men. “I told her you weren’t, but she wanted to check.”

“Well, what’s the verdict,” Buck asked and Natalia grinned, showing him her phone. 

“She found some pretty cool stuff actually.” 

There was a photo on the screen that Buck had never seen before, probably because after the ladder truck bombing he had stopped googling himself. It was actually a series of photos, clearly taken out of an apartment window. They weren’t great quality, but he knew what he was looking at before Nat swiped from the first photo, one of a firefighter climbing a ladder in a rainstorm. 

Continue on Ao3

[kinardsevan]

Do we think buck is going to get mad at someone for calling Tommy his “first boyfriend” or “first man” because he doesn’t like that first implies a second?

I had to think on this for a second. Because initially when I considered what about it would make him mad, it was more so that someone would be pointing to his experience with another man, which is extremely invalidating. Just because he’s never dated someone of the same sex doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand how to care for Tommy’s heart. He’s been in committed relationships before. He put Abby first. He even put Ali first. Taylor…he tried.

I think in terms of what you’re saying, it would have to be in a specific context. Like someone dignifying that they don’t see it lasting, “oh he’s your first boyfriend/you’re still figuring out what you like”. Which yes, both of those things can be true AND he can be the person Evan chooses to stay with. This whole concept that you don’t remain with someone just because they’re your first foray into something is always really baffling to me. Because IMO, when it’s the right person, you just know. So Buck being Buck, I feel like he would be like “and I got it right the first time; your point is invalid”.

I think the only way he would be angry at the statement was if it was one of his loved ones implying such a statement (which really only leaves his parents bc I don’t see anyone else doing it to him). Maddie, Bobby, Athena, Eddie, Hen and Chim would never. They all know him too well and know what it takes for him to want to settle down with someone.

Now. Do I think Margaret would say some shit like this? Absolutely. Most likely after she and Philip tried to endear Tommy to them for all the qualities they like (calling him Evan, being a little judgy for his ludicrous ideas, worrying about him on the job). But Tommy would know about the tension there and how much they weren’t there, and would see the overcompensation. Also, you can’t tell me that Tommy didn’t see their faces at the wedding when they saw Buck, all of which would have an impact on his feelings towards them. (I digress.) So I feel like Tommy would see this, not be super accepting towards them the way they’re acting like they are (plus, we know Tommy’s dad sucks which would likely make him feel uncomfortable on how to be open to other parental figures with questionable LGBTQ opinions). I also feel like, knowing that I’m Bucks age and the attitudes of my aunts and uncles, they would justify their behaviors as “well in my day”.

All of that to say, I could see Margaret saying something like this in a later scene after meeting Tommy, acting as though she’s accepting Tommy. And you’d get Buck going “maybe he is, but that doesn’t mean that someone comes after him. I love him, and if you can’t deal…” (finish that sentence however you need to). (I also think Philip definitely fits the mold of the parent who doesn’t totally understand but also, he was always the better parent who tried, and he still tries, even though he fumbles it a little).

So I think this may have run a little off target of what you were asking, but that’s my answer 😂😂😂

[sky-is-the-limit]

Hi! I'm here with some quotes and links of interviews Ryan did.

Me personally I find this one the most interesting, the usage of "partner" and "themselves" is a big contrast to the way he was talking about Eddie even just a few weeks ago when he was using the word "hetero" several times in a sentence.

"Coming into Season 8, I would love to have Eddie explore more of what he just started in this deconstruction of what love is and find a little bit more self-love for himself, to understand that I got to move past what I thought Shannon and I were going to be, and I got to fall in love with who I am right now, and soon as I do that, then the partner that's meant for me will find themselves and find me at the same time."

Link: https://collider.com/9-1-1-season-7-finale-ryan-guzman/

Another quote from this same article:

"I think the self-love realm is something interesting for me, giving him, maybe in Season 8, the opportunity to really understand himself better and fall in love with himself and, not in a selfish way, but understand his qualities of value. That way, maybe in Season 9, he's able to really live a fulfilled life and showcase a new version of himself that Christopher can actually lean on in a safer and healthier way. I think that that entails a lot of destroying Eddie. Because, again, you can't build on a shaky foundation, so you have to destroy that foundation and rebuild, and that's a painful process in itself. If you've never been the one to really engage in that area, it's not going to be fun. And for Eddie, it's going to be… I know how to lean on certain individuals in the 118, but now Cap's not here, and Buck can't really help me with the situation. How do I handle this myself? What have I learned, and how can I apply this?"

Then from this article I have a pretty long quote: https://remezcla.com/features/film/interview-9-1-1-ryan-guzman-talks-eddies-heartbreaking-loss-whats-coming-for-him-in-season-8/

"For Eddie, though, this is in no way permanent. He wants Christopher back with his family, which includes the whole of the 118. And perhaps, at this point, Eddie is finally done with trying to fill the hole Shannon left. “I mean, the title of mom was already given to Shannon and there’s nobody that can take that title from her. Eddie in previous relationships was trying to fill in the title of mom. And then he realized that that title had already been taken. So now he’s looking for something brand new and it’s more for himself.

When it comes to his relationship with his best friend, Buck, and the role he takes in the finale helping Eddie when things get rough, Guzman shared that “they’ve leaned on each other so well and they’ve showcased what I believe is an incredible opportunity for a lot of people in the world, especially men, to lean on someone and be vulnerable.” “A man’s struggle of harnessing his emotions and having to just kind of push past them, that is very specific to us men. So, it would be advantageous for all of us to understand that. And with Buck being a relatively new entity in Eddie’s life starting six years ago, he’s been able to understand what it would have felt like if he’d had this person who’s always been there for him no matter what and loves his kid just as much as he does. "

“It is just family. So, I’m glad it gives everybody that sense of familyhood. But now I see that Eddie has leaned on Buck so much that people are like… well, I mean, whatever they create is what they create.” We don’t mention the Buddie-shaped elephant in the room, because this is an Eddie Diaz interview. But Guzman acknowledges it with a smile after this comment. He understands it’s a living and breathing thing."

Both of these are from after the finale, you're free to interpret what is said however you want

Bless you, love!! This is what I asked for 😭

To my understanding (maybe I'm wrong, correct me.) This is a professional, compassionate actor who wants the best for his character and wants to leave the details to the writers (as it is not up to him to decide how the story will develop.)

He cannot spoil or predict what will eventually happen, so he is commenting on what his character is currently going through *which is what I think some people misinterpret as him denying any possibilities of said ship becoming canon*

(I say this because they don't provide any sources for their claims that Ryan said this and that etc)

I'll study this more in depth cause I'm really interested in what the actors think. Thank you for providing actual information, I appreciate you <3

[papabearbobbynash]

Other thoughts in this 9-1-1 season

It baffles me this season is actually full of great moments in their individual character arcs, but because none does have a continuity in terms of narrative, they end up lacking meaning.

Athena did solve Tania's murder, a 40 years old cold case that was the literal reason she became a cop. Did we see any post perspective on that? Nope. Instead she just kept floating around the season. We actually did have some quality bathena scenes supporting each other and flirting here and there, but that is it. Honestly I'm not sure if this is result of AB becoming too expensive for FOX to give much screen time to her, as they did the bare minimum with her because it's in AB's contract to appear in every episode of the show.

Hen had a chance to be captain, quit med school and Karen's lab did explode and she almost died. Did we see any post perspective over that, any discussion or consequence in the narrative for either of them? Nope, in fact Karen's lab exploding only served as a point to show up the relationship beginning, because it doesn't have any continuity.

We did have the Nathaniel thing that just felt confusing to majority of the watchers who could remember that in S2 they did leave the impression that Henren and Nathaniel kept in good terms over Danny and that the path was always open for Nathaniel.

Then we had Hen and Karen fostering again, but since the show didn't care in showing the audience that point, we spent the whole scene asking ourselves "who the heck are these kids?" a question that keeps relevant in the ending as they're possibly adopting a new kid we never heard or never saw. Don't get me wrong I'm excited for Henren adopting again I just wish we didn't get it in such a rushed way.

We also did have comeback of captain Hen in this episode, but as she is concussed, it's not there for long, then we past over her concussion, and we don't even see Karen in the hospital.

Eddie did not have an individual arc in this season at all. At least I don't remember of it, and the fact I don't remember, means whatever he had didn't stick enough to impact me. He was underused. Then instead of keeping that way (which would be a bless actually) they decided to shove the obligatory last minute LI on him. Which kinda makes him hypocrite considering a couple of episodes ago he was saying Buck that dating people they rescue doesn't end well and here he is, trying to date someone he rescued.

Bobby in this season had a role in supporting Athena and his own individual arcs. His sponsor, Wendell, came out of nowhere, and as fast the man appeared, he died. Then, Bobby spent a couple of episodes obsessing over said death, cracked the case, saved Tamara, beat down a dirty rehab clinic and it's psychopathic managers, we actually could grasp a storyline of him becoming a sponsor, and then nothing. The maximum was a mention of Wendel post the episode in one of the scenes, what already can be considered a miracle taking in count those storylines are forgotten the moment their episode ends.

We also had a single episode of Bobby finally acknowledging he does see Buck as his son, we even see him trying to be there for Buck, but the Wendel arc kinda limited that. Sadly, Bobby and Buck barely interacted in a relevant way after it.

Then we had this build up for Bobby trapped in this episode with ominous signs here and there through the entire 6B. To be honest I get the impression that the show has been wanting to hurt Bobby badly (the angst of that would be glorious, let's face it), but loses courage through the process to pull it off properly. I mean, I get it, the man is just everyone's dad and it's traumatizing to see this pillar of strength for the whole team to be hurt, but in this case, because there was no way that fall would have such minimal consequences (and the show just skip all the healing process again), all the mystery and build up for it felt anti-climatic in some sense.

Also, the cruise, It serves both Athena and Bobby's characters and we can only pray the writers will not skip through that and actually start the next season with it taking the opportunity to do a decent opening season disaster (idc the team just went trough a disaster, no one told the show to put time a skip between the bridge collapse and the point where the episode ended).

Buck... *sigh* What can I say? He had at least 4 individual arcs in this season and he is possibly the only character who's the storylines were allowed to have a continuity, the absolute problem in his case is that none of said continuity makes sense or was satisfying to watch.

The "journey to be at ease" wasn't concluded at all, the "leadership arc" felt like we got introduced to it and jumped directly to it's conclusion as nothing in between justify the growth we saw. His "death experience" apparently served for him to accept his parents negligence, but as the matter isn't touched again and we can't even see him interacting much with Bobby in a relevant way after, it just ended up inconclusive. The "sperm donation" is only there where we can't certainly say what was the purpose or what did change in his character, tbh even if the line "because I could" sounds touching and beautiful, it seems a easy way of justify a completely unnecessary arc that literally didn't serve any other purpose other than consume screentime.

Chimney and Maddie. They began the season working the issues of their relationship post S5, then spent the season most likely just enjoying their time (getting some breath on their characters I suppose) until the marriage question pops off and this is their arc for the season.

Ironically this was an arc people complained it was dragged, but it's literally the one single arc in this season that does have a consistence between it's beginning and it's conclusion. The fact it felt dragging is because we are not used in watching the characters work their issues in screen rather than off-screen, so yes it was frustrating to watch Chimney go spiral over the question due his trust issues and anxiety, Hen concern regarding Chim, Maddie uncertainty over the marriage, we even had Hen and Maddie working that "beef" directly, it was frustrating to watch, but these were matters that were properly introduced, worked and concluded through the latest 3 episodes of this season. Hence it's probably the best arc of this season in terms of narrative.

So, from all the individual arcs this season only one did have proper build up, work and conclusion, as majority (because ofc Buck's character had to be underwhelming again) did have it's amazing peaks, but lacked continuity, which is literally the biggest problem of the show currently.

I really hope the move to ABC step up the continuity aspect of the show, because I think it's probably the biggest problem after overexposing Buck and utilizing him only to walk in circles.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, so, I made this buddie framing meta a few days ago but it actually got me thinking about something else, so I'm gonna type it out.

You know, they actually kinda made a point to make us think about the dumb luck conversation at the equine therapy place with the cemetery scene in death and taxes. It's a different location, it's "outside", the outfits are similar but in different color schemes, and they are framed similarly but they give off different vibes.

Eddie in dumb luck is all about accepting help, finding hope, and all that, and the talk they have is framed in a very interesting way. For starters, they are not centered in the wider angles.

That's interesting alone, the conversation is about Eddie and getting him to find reason in life and all that, and Buck is trying really hard to be there for Eddie, to see Eddie's side and Eddie is letting him.

But the thing that gets me here is they are facing each other, they are talking, but they are always on the same side of the screen. That's a very interesting choice. They are talking, they are on the same side, they are fixing the problem. This conversation has the point of getting their friendship back on track, with them opening up about issues. (I say this because of the way Eddie left without talking it out with Buck and the whole Eddie pretending he was fine even though he was definitely not that starts to get resolved with the ending of fear-o-fobia and it's really resolved here)

And the thing is, it works, we see a lot of casual friendship moments between the two of them after that, something that was not gone, but reduced considering the shared trauma of the shooting. We have Buck gravitating to Eddie in the hospital on mayday, we have them chilling in Chris' room in hero complex, fixing the walls, Buck cooking them dinner, them referencing things they told each other, you catch my drift, we get a lot of them outside the firehouse. Until death and taxes.

The thing here is about Buck dealing with his trauma about dying, but while dumb luck brings them together in it, this scene actually pulls them apart. Again they are off-center in the frame, but they are on different sides, they also switched sides, yk, Buck is the one who needs reassurance this time and their positions are flipped.

But this time they are on different sides of the frame. Another thing is they don't face each other a lot. And considering Buck is talking about being seen and how is Eddie usually looking at Buck in some capacity all the time, it's interesting that this is not happening here.

They pretty much never look at each other at the same time, and they do show them looking at each other, is off-center and on different sides and they don't really look at each other for that long. This conversation creates a gap between them.

I think this particular conversation has a lot of layers, and it's interesting for a multitude of reasons because I think that what Eddie gets from what Buck is saying is that he doesn't see Buck in the way Buck wants to be seen and after this conversation, we stopped getting the casual friendship moments outside the clock. In 6x16, 17, and 18 we only see them interact in the firehouse or in calls, we don't even see them interact in the hospital after the bridge.

I know a few people have been talking about the similarities between season 4 and season 6 and I think that comparison is interesting here because of the way the shooting created a gap between them, that they had bridged but it's now there again.

I don't know if this makes a lot of sense, but I do know I want a mirror of the dumb luck conversation in season 7.

(please dont judge the quality of the gifs i made them just for illustrations purposes, no thoughts just vibes 🫶)

[canichangemyblogname]

What we should see more of in 9-1-1:

Jee Yun and Buck scenes.

Adventures in babysitting, feat. Evan Buckley and Tommy Kinard

Hen, Karen, and the whole Wilson Family scenes. Happy.

Buckley-Wilson dinners

Karen Wilson

Silly, goofy, fun Hen and Buck as friends scenes. (Not a fan of ABC’s “Mother Hen” characterization of Hen.)

May Grant

Hen and Karen date night

Karen Wilson being a scientist

Denny, Harry, and Christopher hanging out at a 118 get-together

Eddie and Karen hanging out together

Ravi. A Ravi-centric episode

Wilson-Diaz family dinners

Chim and Buck hanging out AS brothers-in-law. Have them work together to build a playhouse for Jee Yun or something

David Hale being a doctor

Maddie getting to know Tommy. (Likely by accident, but then on purpose. Like she stops by Buck’s place and Tommy’s just… there. “He ran to the store; he’ll be back in 10. You’re welcome to wait.” Buck later finds out that they made lunch plans or that he promised to help Maddie with something.)

Eddie, Chim and Tommy hanging out together. Either all three or some combination.

Buck and Tommy casual date night in

Maddie spending quality time with another woman and discussing things other than the men in her life. She needs more opportunity to pass the Bechdel Test.

Buck and Tommy date gone haywire. Like… 20 car pile up on the way to the restaurant haywire. (Thinking about that one post by @/shaunashipman…)

Karen Wilson

David Hale

Buck interacting with either May or Harry Grant. (Don’t just tell me they think of him like a step-brother; show me.)

Wilson-Grant family dinners

Athena and Hen spending time together

Athena being anything but a cop

Hen spending time with her kids

Chim being a good father

May and Harry Grant

Lena Bosko or Lucy Donato

Eddie or Buck making friends with a woman and staying friends with her. Can these men PLEASE have women in their lives who they aren’t related to and who they respect and admire without any ham-fisted romance subplot? Please.

Chim and Maddie having a peaceful, calm and collected date night or vacation (while everyone else has a chaotic night). Please give Chim a break.

Karen Wilson

Maddie making a friend outside of work

Eddie finding a hobby. Like painting.

Eddie joining a vet’s group to help deal with his PTSD. He gets connected via Bobby, who is sponsoring a vet in AA.

Buck gets a dog. Give that man a dog. He and Tommy seem like #dog dads

Josh Russo having a non-traumatic date

Hen, Chim, and Tommy shooting the shit like they once did. Then joined by Eddie, Bobby, Athena, Buck, Karen, and Maddie to show the progression from where they were to where they are now and how Hen & Chim built a better culture as well as the 118 family.

The unfired Chekhov gun that is Buck’s sperm donor baby. Connor, Kameron, where are you? They just fuck back into Buck’s life and then fuck off?

Taylor Kelly. The writers did her character so dirty. She would have been so great if they had never nuked her character to make her Buck’s gf. Bring her back and let her be an amazing reporter. Even for one episode. (And give her a badass gf [maybe Ali?]. Ultimate power couple! Give sapphic fans more!)

Mr. and Mrs. Lee