#what if. i didnt have medical ptsd.

[creekfiend]

saw an MCAS specialist today and she was very good but unfortunately I have medical trauma so I am crying and shaking in bed an hour later lmao

[itsalwaysdark]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[trauma-trove]

What I said: Whenever I do something even mildly wrong, I feel guilty and anxious for days. I feel like I'm not allowed to do anything I like and I can't reliably remember how I get out of it again.

What my therapist should've said: Let's work on your intense shame and guilt complex and see if we can get you to where you feel like you're allowed to make mistakes just like everybody else :)

What she actually said: You're CLEARLY bipolar. You need to be medicated immediately or you WILL become a danger to yourself and others.

[adlibitur]

--

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

tw for irresponsible usage of prescription drugs, addiction, and slight references to suicide

do not do what I do! this is not advice. step away from the substances addiction will not save you. they did not save me and this is not fun

anyway yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of the worst day of my entire life which obviously gave me a ton of ptsd and is what directly caused many of my other almost as bad days. it was absolutely life altering in the most horrific way possible and if anything worse than that happens im not sure what id do.

I always have a lot of nightmares going to sleep on this night so I was originally going to drink, but then I remembered the only alcohol I have is cooking wine and that doesnt taste good unless its used for its actual purpose. which is cooking. and then I was gonna smoke but that requires driving to a spot where I can be alone which I didnt feel like doing. plus I need to really cut down to once a week because I'm on testosterone and ive smoked the past like 3 days.

so I have made the knowingly stupid decision to go so so fucking hard on the sleeping pills. not a suicidal amount, just enough that it is definitely not safe and not recommended. I am hoping that it'll either put me such a deep sleep that I dont dream at all or give me such vivid dreams that they dont bear any relation to the trauma im avoiding. the only reason I feel like I can do this without ODing is I spent a few months abusing prescription medication for funsies. didnt even rely on it for anything and I could function just fine I just liked seeing how they combined and how much I could take. got bored of it pretty fast.

anyway this is absolutely not a smart decision do not copy this i am an unhealthy person with bad coping mechanisms who regularly uses substances to cope. I also have done enough substances that I am extremely aware of my limits. if this works I am schrödinger's idiot. both a genius and the dumbest man alive at the same time.

there's always a risk so if I dont wake up tomorrow then oh well! if I die it isn't a suicide and I wasn't killed its just sort of something that happened

also if youre gonna bitch about me making bad decisions with drugs I will block you. addict does addict shit. fork found in kitchen. hay found in guinea pig enclosure. you get the point.

[wulfums]

Based on the last post, it of Course isnt just Whatwulf helping Allan. Whatwulf struggles with constantly fearing things and others and being worried.

He can always ask Allan if he's mad at him. Allan makes a point to never be annoyed no matter how many times Whatwulf asks. He knows that WW feeling like this isnt really based on like...anything. He feels like this all the time with Everyone. But Allan has noticed Whatwulf has been asking a lot less lately. He notices small things like that and it makes him smile when he does. Little things like that let him know Whatwulf is doing better and feeling good.

Allan does genuinely get annoyed with Whatwulf's memory issues occasionally, and early on in the relationship has said some rude things (and even Now, if he's having a really bad day, and Whatwulf forgot somth important, he might get snippy. But he tries not to.). But he always reminds himself that Whatwulf isnt doing this because hes lazy. Hes not doing it because he doesnt care. This is just how his brain works. Its one of the things WW is most insecure about so when Allan does get annoyed about it, it hurts Whatwulf a lot. I feel like Allan realizes and apologizes right away, and they talk about it later. And he really means it. He makes sure his apologies mean something. Sometimes if its too hard to say, he will leave Whatwulf a little note (With Whatwulfs fav candy taped to it.) apologizing. It means a lot and reassures Whatwulf that Allan wasnt mad at him, and WW didnt do anything wrong.

Allan helps Whatwulf with some things relating to this. He's in charge of refilling Whatwulf's medications. He goes to the same pharmacy for himself, so taking this one thing off of Whatwulf's plate will help him focus on remembering other things. He reminds Whatwulf to write down money things in a ledger to keep track of budget. He encourages him to leave post it notes around. They have a whiteboard in the apartment so Whatwulf can remember what chores hes done today or whose turn it is to do something.

They do have fights sometimes and arguments. Everyone does. Sometimes it is one of them being insensitive or snippy abt the other's ND issues. I think the first couple of times it was rough because Whatwulf convinces himself "Well, guess its all over. I fucked this up." and Allan is the kind of person to hold onto a grudge and bring it up at random during arguments.

So Whatwulf brought Allan into one of his therapy sessions to talk about this specifically. It was just one session, since this was a therapist not a relationship counseler.

So they just always remember....they can always talk these things out. And the more they do it, the easier it gets. Now, they're able to both stop themselves before snapping. Whatwulf will use his DBT skills and Allan will do some grounding excersizes before they continue doing the stressful thing.

One of the biggest things is that Whatwulf never has to assume Allan isnt being honest. He is. Always. Hes just like that. He feels relaxed around him for that reason. Both of them say what they mean and its so freeing. They dont have to follow NT Society Rules around each other. Theyve established their own "house rules" that absolutely work perfect for them.

One of the biggest moments for them was related to Whatwulf's PTSD. Sometimes, Whatwulf struggles with showers due to PTSD. The water just...feels like hands (I Will Not Elaborate, IYKYK) and it makes it hard. Allan offers to stand guard at the bathroom door until Whatwulf is done. They were also waiting for pizza. While Whatwulf was in the shower, he heard the doorbell ring. He wasn't done yet and took a bit more time. He expected Allan to have gone to grab the pizza- he hates when it gets cold. But no, Allan was right there. Exactly where he said he would be. Guarding Whatwulf. That was a very emotional pizza night.

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Will we get to see Sir Pentious's backstory too? I want to know what his backstory look like in your rewrite

Oh yeah! I def got plans with Sir P along for the rest of the gang. CW discussion of child death, experimentation of sorts,(general spoilers S2, brief discussion of what was shown during that leak phase)

So far, the main concept idea I have for My Sir P was that he was an aspiring inventor. Filled with grand ideas and aspirations but constantly dismissed, overlooked by others and for most of his life, spent stuck doing not exactly fulfilling maintenance/repair jobs just to make a living. before finally getting the chance, becoming involved in some shady unethical medical company using poor sick kids, to test medical devices on. ⛑️⚕️ One of those devices included a 🐍snake venom extractor🐍. Big thing is….they often made the problems they tried to treat but….often weren’t able to treat them….They weren’t exactly doing well to begin with and their families couldn’t afford to get better help and were desperate to just have a general living…they had no idea what the place was fully doing with their kids💔

While he wasn’t getting them….”prepared “ himself, he was still aware of what was going on but with his position(especially cause of his roots) aswell as not wanting to lose his job and best chance to become an inventor….didnt do anything and just kept trying to make something that work. He told himself it would all be worth it, for society, the greater food, that it wouldn’t be for nothing, that they wouldn’t….

Something he’d do atleast for the kids out of kindness(and guilt) was invent some toys they could play with. They really liked them…and him💔 🧸

Brainstormed stuff on HTH @hotter-than-hell-rewrite server and inspired by @stillwaitin76 MASH inspiration stuff, reminded me of that whole “Hawkeye and the chicken situation”. Sir P at first says he was having his inventions being tested on baby mice or baby chicks. Baxter-I mean, kinda a bummer about those baby animals but it’s not like companies now a days don’t practice animal testing themselves. The medical field did all sorts of things back then that’d be considered far more unethical today. It’s a pretty gray situation. And for what it’s worth, wasn’t for something unnecessary, u were testing out important medical items that could help people. I don’t see how that would condemn you to here.

Sir P-But there could��ve been a better way. We could’ve gotten some adults atleast. They were so young and full of life and their own dreams, they trusted me, to help them and-

Baxter-Hang on how would baby animals understand all-…they weren’t mice or chicks were they?

Oh! And the Egg Bois…Hell’s clever way to remind him of his sins. Always being followed by small, fragile lifeforms that put their full trust in you only to often get hurt or even worse for your projects….

I def want his sin to be involved with his inventions or atleast ambitions causing harm in some way. I feel like that would fit into his character and what he was doing in Hell more in my opinion. How he was in the show, alive and his OG inaction feels really different from the Sir P we were watching and what he was doing to really feel connected in my opinion. And with all the other stuff that was happening, there wasn’t really much foreshadowing shown of his past to begin with before his redemption which I feel like was a missed opportunity for his arc. TW, child death, ptsd/trauma.

What do u think? Any ideas you have for Sir P and his backstory? What do u think of his OG one? I’d love to know 💖

[paingoes]

Some thoughts/questions about the Roleswap AU

Are Delta's powers less strong in this AU because they weren't trained like in the original, or is it just a feature of the AU?

"You should let me fix that for you." So Apollo is a medic in this AU as well?

Someone needs to rescue Lorry :(

Speaking of Lorry, I'm glad Paris isn't completely isolated and that he and Lorry can complain about their owners/captors/bosses to each other. Canon Delta didn't really have anyone like that :(

Delta being mad at his dad for beating Paris is reminiscent of Paris being mad at Simon for beating Delta.

Urchin spine???? I'm a little confused about what's going on there.

"Figure it out." Sure, Delta. He'll just "figure out" PTSD and conditioning and faulty brain wiring.

Paris needs a (non-drugged?) massage. Regularly. And a punching bag, or some sort of outlet to get it out of his system. Idk if that would help any tho, I'm no expert. (Now I'm imagining Paris chasing cat toys lol. Because prey drive.)

-

Delta: stay with me while I sleep

Paris: you just tried to beat me up and muzzle me for trying to help you, are you kidding me? No.

Delta: Please :(

Paris: ...the waterfall is nice here. Fine.

giggling like a maniac. oh my god these walls of texts are my favorite thing to receive i feel so fucking blessed everytime.

1.) yes, delta was born with weaker powers in this AU, but if he was "trained" with the same intensity as canon he could've had them raised artificially. probably to only a small fraction of his canon potential but still higher than they are now. if you ask me i think he's a little insecure about this! that's really what he's getting at in the ending scene and why paris accuses him of pushing it too far. maybe he knows he has more potential that he hasnt unlocked yet.

if AS!delta got to glimpse into his canon reality, in spite of all the angst potential everything he might witness there, i feel like his dominant reaction is still going to be I CAN DO THAT?????

he cant do that

2.) yes :) whatever AU apollo lands in i feel like hes always gonna be like. right in the middle of med school and really annoying about it. kittys like oh my god you didnt graduate yet knock it off. and hes like. sounds like someones humors are unbalanced 😌

3.) oh my god yeah lorelai is in trouble!!! i feel like she came out of training a lot less fucked up than paris, kind of in the same way that she came out of their canon childhoods less fucked up than paris, because she's genuinely a better student and less likely to draw negative attention to herself. but i also think shes still very much in survival mode and has that adaptive stress to keep her going. so shes not necessarily falling apart in the way paris is because paris's environment is so relaxed relatively. it's hard to say what lifestyle is even right for lorelai i feel like she really does thrive under conflict and will always seek out some level of danger but it has to be tempered somewhat so she doesnt just. end up totally exploited and traumatized by the end of it. yeah i worry about that girl.

4.) mm yeah this was meant to parallel deltas little late night chats w kitty and apollo in canon, but you're right, they cant really commiserate w him in the same way because he hid so much for them.

also do you like that delta lets paris have a phone. i think this is actually an incredibly endearing thing about AS!delta and proof that he really is kind of nice because not only is he letting paris stay in touch with lorelai. he also knows who lorelai is and is concerned about her purely because paris is concerned about her. delta and lorelai have never met in person in this AU and they only know each other through paris but i imagine theyre like. friends on snapchat lol.

5.) yeah im sorry i still do think this scene is so funny to imagine. like its not funny but i know the way it happened was so fucking abrupt and stupid like. paris kinda swipes at delta -> IMMEDIATELY getting beat up by the king in a really stupid and direct way. like i know it was not premeditated at all it is purely just "get your fucking hands off my daughter". total parental instincts. yes delta was super mad about it at the time like oh my god stop stop he didnt mean to!!! and i think hes kinda more shaken up by it than paris even is cause paris is used to getting beat up. but yeah delta did not like that.

6.) i shouldve said pufferfish spine. deltas spiking paris w the shit that gets dolphins high in the wild. its a purely fantasy thing but yeah its a mild analgestic/muscle relaxant.

7.) yeah delta is....NOT trauma informed lol. of course thats just an issue w the institutionalized weapons, it makes sense he wouldnt recognize the programming as a kind of trauma in and of itself. he legitimately just thinks paris is broken for no reason and hes sympathetic towards it to some extent but he doesnt. really get it. and to be fair i dont think paris gets it either.

8.) these are such nice suggestions omg <3 thats so cute im imagining paris doing the cat thing where a bug gets into the house and hes just. stalking it for five hours. he definitely needs something to do with all that energy.

lowkey him and lorry just need to get into some kind of sport. that would legitimately fix them.

9.) “🥺🥺🥺”

[itsbansheebitch]

Acute Stress Disorder is SO weird like???

what do you mean PTSD lite/diet PTSD/PTSD Zero/Keto Friendly PTSD is a thing????

"Yes, you'll probably have somatic flashbacks and not recognize your surroundings, but it's all good"

"Yes, it was a traumatic experience and yes, these ARE the exact symptoms of PTSD, however you'll only have them for like 6 months to a year, not your whole life, so this is different"

"Don't worry, the whole 'not recognizing where you are and reliving trauma' thing isn't permanent"

"Yeah, the flashbacks are already slowing down, you probably don't need medication"

"If it makes you feel better you can get a diagnosis, but there isn't really an alternative option besides 'temporary PTSD disorder' it's a pretty open and shut case"

like???? whattttt???

I didnt even know this was a thing until my therapist cracked open a DSM-5 to figure out what on earth was happening

im not saying shes wrong, the flashbacks WERE temporary, but that doesn't make this less bizarre :/

[system-of-a-feather]

I think one of the wildest things about recovery thus far - particularly as a system with at least heavy psychological abuse and arguable programming - is just really realizing how much of my trauma narrative I've lived my whole life with was largely manufactured and wrong.

I'm not meaning in the sense 'its a lie' or 'I don't have trauma' because the foundation of my narrative was correct; my parents were abusive and neglectful, they were harmful and traumatizing

But the details and the impact and the understanding of my childhood and trauma was so fucking shaped, curated, controlled and directed by my sister - who until literally 21 or 22 I thought was my ONLY positive and supportive person in my life even when she was a leading player in our CSA

And at a certain point - I don't even remember what exactly, I think it started with XIV, then Data and Jii sharing concerning things, then her own actions both confirming and validating it - we really realized, of all our abusers and all our trauma-makers, our sister has and always been the most insidious

Because she was the ONLY supportive older person in our life and because she had been toying with us and our dissociative amnesia since before we could generally reliably remember things and she really got in there really young, we never really seemed to ever question ANYTHING she told us. She told us how our parents were. She told us how the world works. She told us how we had to act and how wed die if we didnt. She told us of conditions we didn't have but fully believed we did and how to cope with them. Our whole understanding of our family, life, and medical / physiological conditions were really almost entirely shaped by her.

And the past two or three years since we cut her off and humored challenging everything we learned from her? Realizing how much of it was controlling BS and just straight up wrong?

Most specifically, realizing that my parents were dumb and traumatized but genuinely doing what they could with what they knew to support us to the best of their ability? Most specifically that my parents, especially older, would really do whatever they can to make sure we suffer as little as possible and grow to be independent? Most specifically that they genuinely just want fair appreciation for massive financial help and nothing more when they offer HUGE support????

I have been regularly attacking my parents, denying support because its a "controlling trap", and fighting with my parents to defend my oldest sister for SO many years when literally it was all fucking because??? ???

My sister is mentally ill and traumatized so I also dont think she lied about the trauma / family / world perspectives she had but good god, to be the guinea pig, puppet, toy and projection project of someone so intensely not coping, not well, traumatized, paranoid (likely clinical) and refusing to seek help due to aforementioned paranoia.

Fuckin hell man

I vent about this more because its absurd and less because it hurts because honestly, the reality that I've learned is way nicer and preferred to the hell story I lived my life under

As much as it sucks, Im glad and happy to find out it was all wrong and my life is way better

But holy fucking shit is it a mind fuck to have your whole ass trauma narrative flipped on its head in two years after 6 years of PTSD / DID therapy

Save for like one abuser, all my most hated abusers are now some of my best supporters, and my only supporter is now the only person I have cut off.

Its so fucking wild

Especially as a fused whole because I just get random memories, a lot of good ones too, and really have to wonder What The Fuck Martha

[secret-sturniolo]

just a long vent. read (or dont) idc

not that anyone really cares, but i just have some things i need to get off my chest because im currently alone in my room crying in the dark.

let me preface this by saying i dont have any friends. i literally do not have a single person i can talk to. i dont even have a therapist because she just quit. the last friend group i had, i found out they had a secret group chat where they were shit talking and making fun of me. so, the closest thing to friends i have are my 151 followers and the people in this fandom. when i log on here and i see that people have interacted with me or like my works, thats literally the highlight of my day. so to anyone who has talked to me or shown me support, i truly thank you and i love you.

if you met my family, you would think we have it all. my parents own a successful business, they (appear) happily married, and my brother and i have everything we could ever want or need. but heres the truth:

my parents are alcoholics. every night its the same thing. they get drunk, they fight and yell and say nasty things about each other until one of them goes to bed and they sleep in different rooms. im the one who has to mediate things. im the one who has to send my little brother to bed so he doesnt have to hear them. im the one who cleans up the spilled drinks. im the one who drove us to the hotel when my dad was being verbally abusive. and when my mom almost died in the ICU a month ago as a direct result of drinking, i was the one visiting her multiple times a day. i was the one at home doing all of the dishes, all of the laundry, all of the cleaning, and bringing my brother to and from school ON TOP OF my own schoolwork and going to work every evening all because my dad is lazy and doesnt get out of bed until 1pm.

they swore to me that they were done drinking. and when they lasted 3 days and got drunk again, i didnt shame them. i didnt say anything at all. in fact, i showed them support.

wanna guess what i get in return for all of that?

i get told that im the one whos tearing our family apart, that if they get divorced its my fault. that maybe if i was nicer we would have less problems.

and god forbid that i have a bad day sometimes like a normal human being, because then i get accused of not taking my medications.

they also like to act like my mental health problems are harder on them than they are on me as if they didnt literally play a role in me developing them. a year ago i had to go to another state to receive inpatient and residential treatment because i was anorexic and suicidal. let me tell you, thats not a vacation. i have clinically diagnosed ptsd from things i witnessed there. all those times they had to take me to the hospital? yeah, not fun for me either. i promise you, nobody has tubes shoved up their nose just for shits and giggles.

you guys, im only 17. i havent even graduated high school yet. if this is what life is like now, im terrified to be an adult.

i mean it when i say that this fandom keeps me going. it makes me feel appreciated, even just a little. so if you made it to the end of this, thanks for caring enough to read this absolute dumpster fire of a post.

love you all <3

[smokee78]

This is such a vague question but how did you do it? I'm assuming therapy helped a lot but like. Idk did you have to unpack all of the trauma or like. Idk. It sounds like a whole lot of effort and honestly congrats. I'm just curious how you managed to achieve it

Yes thank you so much for the question!

So I started EMDR therapy in April 2022, which is a type of therapy that helps process and desensitize trauma memories, and negative beliefs held due to trauma. You don't need an exact clear image/memory of the trauma for this to work, and in my experience it worked really well for my complex/ongoing traumas (ex. neglect and long term bullying) as well as for our "one time incident" more PTSD-like traumas.

shortly after beginning EMDR, a lot of our DID symptoms began to fluctuate, some weeks they were really bad, some they were noticeably much better. this is because EMDR doesn't only happen during sessions- your brain actually continues the reprocessing being the scenes in the background, which can cause extra stress in the meantime! but the end result is worth it.

of course, EMDR comes with a lot of safety measures and checking in before starting the therapy to make sure you are safe, and have a plan if things get to be too much.

I'd say maybe a few months in, we had a big even we dubbed "the fusening" in which many of our fragments "gave up" their form as they no longer felt it necessary to stay separate. some "larger" and more dominant parts fused at this time too, some 1:1 with another part, and others just seemed to dissipate.

I'd say by 4-5 months in we'd gone from over 90 identified parts down to a nebulous 30-50. We were also nearly (80% of the time?) always blurry, so it was hard to identify who was left.

we also identified some new parts at this time, who had been dormant and stuck behind a layer that previously was not able to contact us before processing trauma.

we stuck around 10-20 parts for a whole, working our way through traumasostly chronologically, and hit some big targets. it was hard and exhausting work, and left me on edge almost 24/7. but I could tell despite the exhaustion, I was getting better. I was still getting amnesia, but switches and headaches were much less noticeable, we were no longer finding new parts or splitting new parts, and it felt like I had the control to find healthy coping mechanisms on my own with out my brain trying to cope for me (by splitting).

these past few months I've actually been on a break from EMDR- my therapist noticed my avoidant behaviours to dealing with a lot of the trauma I faced from my parents, and I have a big school exam coming up. so we left it for the summer, to reconvene in October after my exam.

at that point I'd had about three alters left, two nearly identical, the current host and a similar alter, and in the process of trying to meld, and one of the earliest alters and most developed, and distinct we'd had.

in the meantime, I started regular talk therapy with a new therapist, less intense but to hopefully get some help with non trauma processing based issues, maybe try to grapple some of the parental issues without trauma targets.

We focused a lot on identity, as, despite having over 90 at one point, I felt completely lost! I didnt know who I was, what I wanted, and who I could be if I let myself. I was trying my best to "go along with the flow", but I didn't realize that didn't mean I had to like *everything*, even if I was open to new experiences!

I learned how to be on my own and still have fun in the absence of other people. I started broadening my horizons and going to local punk shows and learning it was okay to not be mainstream and still be safe! I came out to more people about my gender identity and started the process to transition medically, and started being more open socially about being gender non conforming. I learned I really, really, hate cooking, and that's okay.

about a few weeks ago, I had a falling out with my parents. I won't go into detail because I don't think it's relevant, but I decided our relationship wasn't healthy, and I cut them off for good. I'd previously done this two years ago as well, but we reconciled and tried to make it work. but this time, it was clear the only person that was interested in changing to make things work was me, and after finally getting a taste of figuring out who I could be, I was done sacrificing myself for the sake of making them happy.

stem, the last part to fuse with beau, held pretty much all the resentment for sacrificing ourself and not getting to be ourself. she held all the bitterness, the teenage and adulthood angst, all the rage. she'd been very stubborn about it all. to the point where beau as the host (this is getting confusing to type- I'm both sten and beau now. I'm one. but I'm trying to talk from beaus perspective about stem), had finally said "look. I know we wanted final fusion. but I'm okay if you want to stay stem and we'd changed our minds. we don't have to final fuse to still be an advocate for compassion towards those who choose final fusion, and we're not betraying ourselves or anyone else if we stay separate."

stem said "thank you" to this, which was the first time she'd shown any genuine positive emotion towards beau or the rest of the system. (she was a persecutor at one point, turned to no role/sort of protector ish role).

beau was shocked, as he never thought stem would let go of the bitterness she'd held to the rest of the system, the fact that she'd gone dormant and lost the host role at one point, and many other traumas.

there was genuine understanding and compassion towards each other as individual parts.

that night, stem was around and feeling list and hopeless about the reason we'd cut off our parents again. we vented to our friends, they listened, validated our feelings and... we felt better. the feelings laid to rest a little, though the grief was still fresh.

we left the conversation, and noticed we had a headache+foggy feeling we usually associated with a split. we commented to a friend we may be splitting, which hadn't happened in a while, but was understandable with the stress we were dealing with

except. it wasn't a split. we fused. stem was heard by herself and her system, and validated and respected by her friends. despite losing her adoptive family (not blood- we were adopted at birth), stem had found acceptance and love from our new chosen family and friends. that was enough to let go of the hate and bitterness and rage and let herself be one with the full range of emotions and personhood final fusing could give us in this way. I also use Stem as a preferred name in addition to Beau now, which I feel is fitting. I'm them, they are both a part of me even though we're all one now.

I hope this answered your question! one other thing to note, through a lot of hard work and cooperation, we were previously able to fuse a fragment and an alter together before any therapy, with a lot of help from those who'd already experienced fusion. it's not impossible to fuse some alters on your own. (though I would say it would be very unlikely to final fuse without outside help)

[brandwhorestarscream]

Throwaway line asking about a psychology/psychiatry etc relevant fields:

How does Cybertron handle mental problems? There's a medical corps, a science guild afaik

What's your own handle on bots that study/analyse the psyche of other bots?

I mean, this is a society that regularly lobotomizes it's citizens for stepping out of line lol. They'll alter someone's memories and sense of self at the dorp of a hat, or remove their ability to experience certain emotions. Realistically, I don't think Cybertron has shit for mental health services. Their singular crisis hotline is just 2 people desperately trying to juggle 400 calls and three jobs just so they can keep the public comm line open.

HOWEVER. That's not fun and also really fucking depressing, so I'm gonna retcon it a bit and say Cybertron has a functional government that actually takes care of its citizens for the sake of this conversation. Lol

Since you specifically mentioned mecha that study psyches and mental health... oof. That could be a really slippery slope, but generally, if you get a good a doctor, they can completely transform your life. Literally. Say someone is clinically depressed: their body just constantly makes an overabundance of Misery Chemicals, overstimulating the negative emotional cores and leaving them in an endless haze of hopelessness. There's a number of ways that can be treated on Cybertron, up to and including having your doctor write personal correctice code that's adapted just for you. Having it integrated into your processor, it would replicate and spread, correcting your body's chemical productions long term. Making code like that is an extremely lengthy, delicate process that can take years, but getting the right one can mean a life free of depression--forever.

Or perhaps a patient with severe PTSD: they struggle to go outside, to talk to anyone, to let anyone close, they have auditory hallucinations and intense spells of paranoia. A specialist may be able to work with them over time, to get into their head and pick through the worst of the memories that torment them. They can pause, rewind, replay, zoom in, anything they want to the patient's memory files without hurting them, examining the circumstances that lead to their condition today. They can help them to work through it, they can experience it together, and that by itself is such a huge help, to face their demons in real time with someone there to protect them. Sometimes, menmosurgery is even approved in extreme cases, making them forget the worst moment of their life so they can actually move forward and continue living.

Cortical psychic patches might even be helpful in some cases, the doctor entering into a patient's mind to explore exactly what they're struggling with, especially if they struggle to verbalize their symptoms or causes.

I could keep rambling but i think this hits my main points. Was this entertaining for you? Is this what you wanted? Its 4 a.m. and i cant tell if this is any good lmfao. Feel free to follow up if there's smthn specific you had in mind that I didnt touch on

[barbatusart]

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DIAGNOSE THOSE FREAAAAAKS!!!!! ❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️🌬🌬🌬☃️☃️☃️💎💎💎💎

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i didnt know what you meant for a split second LOL but word ok I GOTCHA. i did write everybody with cognitive "touchstones" in mind but used it more as one of multiple building blocks in shaping everybody's personalities & tried not to have anybody be a stereotype of their neural makeup. SPOILERS ABOUND BELOW THE CUT HEADS UP!

jake i wrote pretty explicitly as autistic. im not autistic myself but i have multiple close family members who are; ive been around it since i was little to present day & wanted to try my hand at writing an autistic character. i think i had it that his father is also autistic so his parents caught on pretty quickly & got him all the tools he needed growing up to live happily. unfortunately hes also extremely gullible & a firm believer in geek social fallacy

sal is a case of C-PTSD (compounded with the multiple head injuries sustained at the end of sad sack by the time sortie rolls around if thats illuminating at all) which is something he combats by making himself as physically large & intimidating as possible while using that as a social shield if that makes sense. he has this concept of himself as something he needs to mask (often literally) in order to behave as his "true" self, which also is a concept of himself that is "Not Me" that he shucks off anything he may have ever done wrong onto so he never has to take responsibility for anything. i deliberately did not write DID here but he is highly dissociative with poor emotional regulation & deeply low EQ (again: see sortie)

mal is a very nebulous anxiety disorder in an extremely extraverted person. his treatment of it involves trying to "shout" over his anxiety even louder to try & drown it out which goes about as well as youd expect; he actually nearly breaches into a full-on panic attack in book 3 where hes trying to light his cigarette. self medication is also 2 packs a day & his BP is like 220/120 at rest, but he doesnt go to the doctor much or declines blood pressure on the regular cus if he doesnt see it then nothing's wrong. nothing's wrong! he's also got some shit going on with not being able to perceive himself in any positive light unless he's positioning himself to be praised as a hero or directly comparing himself with somebody he considers "lower" than him, which when you put that up against the context of book 3 is like get the fuck away from me dude. more on that later, i got comic-related plans for mal lol

stone is a deep depression mixed in with barely functional alcoholism (starting to not so subtly breach over into alcoholic psychosis) which all roots back into an unmanaged grief thats turned into him looking for you-know-who in the people around him (ie romantic partners, this dudes a mess) he kinda laid his shit bare in 4 so the less said about that the better, his whole situation honestly skeeves me out bigtime

garv ive gone into his nonsense on here plenty but he is an unintelligent sociopath (no childhood woes he just got born that way) with the added issue of being raised on /b/ LOL

[faelingdraws]

how did you find out you had DID/you were plural?

We had overt symptoms as young as 11 - going by different online aliases and behaviors.

But in middle school it got really obvious because one of us would be bubbly and sweet and the other would be mean and even violent. We knew something was off. Its not like we didnt remember what we did, but back then its more like our way of thinking would totally shift.

A year into middle school is when the jig was up and we discovered eachother, but things were tense and openly hostile for a few more years. Our stabilization was poor and we would do things like get with partners and then break up with them repeatedly, or constantly join and flee online communities. Even though our behaviour was our own, we constantly felt confused and exasperated by it. Realizing was just a "I feel like theres another person in my head that feels and does these things and talks to me"

Our whole life we struggled with PTSD and it was not until two years ago we realized what we had had a label - DID. (We didn't even know what plural was). Our experience is medically acknowledged but has not been diagnosed because we have not been able to access the care required </3

[femmepeterparker]

tell me about your vegeta headcanons,, please!

oh of course

-trans man

-used a translator the entire time he was in the pto and had to learn galatic common when he came to earth

-4'10 and lean muscle, doesnt bulk up if he can avoid it because he likes the advantage his size gives him in a fight

-the heavy of the fighters. can take punch after punch

-helps train goten during the seven year gap

-he and chichi become very close friends during the seven years

-fell for goku right after meeting him and didnt realize it until during namek

-got top surgery when he was ~17, not because of dysphoria but because of how others viewed him

-saiyans have no concept of a gender or sex binary so vegeta didnt experience transphobia until he was in the pto

-top surgery didnt go well and left him with bad scars from it

-he did not want kids but reluctantly agreed to ivf with bulma. her attitude during her pregnancy is what made him leave

-im not sure this is like. counts as a headcanon? but i draw vegeta as indian

-freeza did a lot of horrifically unethical expirements on the saiyans to "study" the race but yk. just advanced torture methods

-was freezas personal lapdog throughout his teens/early 20s

-has severe ptsd and does not like to acknowledge it

-bulma put his ass on medication. it helps

-wishes for his tail back after namek. sorry hes gettin it back i refuse to leave it off him

-down so unbelievably bad for ssj goku. and just goku in general

theres more so much more but ill restrain myself for the time being