#well. really thinking about the autistic coding of that man. especially in the way that he communicates

[gender-luster]

thinking about that fictional traumatized autistic middle-aged man again

[crystalbeetle888]

Second Chances

Dog-Hybrid 141 x Autistic-coded Reader

Your world is turned upside down, when a stalker forces you to adopt a support-hybrid, leading you to meeting his friends and possibly biting off more than you can chew.

Word Count: 1400

Warnings- mention of minor stalker/stalking, nothing violent just creepy, course language, reader has anxiety and depression,

Master list

The pungent smell of chlorine is the first thing you notice when entering HRF or Hybrid Rehabilitation Facility. The distant sound of animal-like yowling sets you on edge as you approach the front desk. An older woman sits behind the counter, casually reading a magazine. She looks you up and down "Name?" her voice drawls. You give her your name and she stands with a sigh "Follow me".

She leads you through a long white hall lined with various doors. Distressed sounds of yapping and whining resonates from each of the rooms. Passing through the hall and into another, metal cell doors line the walls. "These are the ones you can pick from" she says before sitting in a chair by the door. You awkwardly stare down the hall for a moment, not entirely comfortable with the situation. The strange silence doesn't help ease your nerves either.

After years of CBT to treat your anxiety and depression you had finally given in to your therapists advice and decided to get a support-hybrid. Despite your dislike for the whole system surrounding hybrids, you needed one now. Due to an unforeseen, minor, stalker situation, that has triggered you deeply enough to affect your ability to be independent.

The way it works, is instead of putting hybrids in jail with the rest of the predominantly human population, they place them in rehabilitation facilities where they can then be reintegrating into society on parole, or be legally adopted by a human guardian, if they're especially difficult. However, most hybrids never make it out on their own and are left completely at the mercy of whoever adopts them. And because most well-intentioned humans aren't equipped to deal with destructive hybrids, lots of them go their entire lives in these facilities after making one stupid mistake.

The entire thing was fucking wrong, and you wish you could just slap the hell out of the asshole who set that system up. But here’s you are instead, about to adopt someone you only hope will tolerate you and possibly, best case scenario, help your mental health.

You briskly walk past each cell, making awkward eye contact with them as you briefly read their patient notes.

A 19 year old, female, bengal-cat-hybrid, arrested for theft and minor drug offences. Sounds like more than you can handle.

A 30 year old, male, angora-rabbit-hybrid, fined for property damage and arson. Not really suitable for your rental situation.

Lastly, a 34 year old, male, kangal-dog-hybrid, dishonourably discharged for causing bodily harm and inflicting emotional distress.

You snort, ‘Institutionalised for causing emotional distress, really?’ You think to yourself.

You look up to find the man watching you with critical eyes “Something funny?” He asks, his thick English accent cuts through the silence. “Discharged for causing emotional distress?” You raise your brow at him.

He huffs, and hangs his head “They had to charge me for double or I wouldn’t end up here” he explains.

“Jesus that’s fucked” you blurt out.

Guilt eats away at you, your stomach twisting with anxiety “Look.. I’m not exactly comfortable with this situation, but I’m looking for someone to do security and support work”,

“Security?”,

You rub your hands together anxiously, “I have a minor stalker situation, he isn’t violent, just creepy. But it’s affecting my mental health and ability to be independent”.

He hums in thought. “I’m not gonna make you come with me if you don't want to, but you are my best candidate" you smile at him nervously.

He seems to think for a moment before turning back to you and rising to his feet "Well if I'm the best there is, then we ought to find a way to make this work aye?" he gives you a wide, tight lipped smile. Kinda like a quokka.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in, "Thank you.. um?" "John. John Price" he offers you his hand through the bars. You shake it stiffly, noticing how his large hand envelops yours and his claws prick your skin. You laugh nervously at him before turning to the nurse "I think I've made my choice".

John stands behind you as you finish filling out the paperwork at the front desk, his towering figure is something you'd have to learn to get used to.

“This is your temporary license until your card comes in mail. You need to have this on you at all times while in public with him. And he, needs to wear this at all times in public" the lady slides over the paper license and a lanyard with his I.D and your contact information. "If he is found guilty of any more charges from here on out, you will be the one fined for it, or he will be sent right back here for further rehabilitation. Do you understand these terms?" she says in a bored voice. You clear your throat awkwardly "Yes".

"Great, have a good day then" she dismisses you, picking up her magazine again. You pocket the license and grab the I.D before turning to your new housemate. "Ready to go?" you ask him. "As I'll ever be" he responds. The two walk towards the exit together, "Great let’s get out of here, this place is fucking creepy" you say in a hushed voice, causing him to chuckle.

The drive back to your house was filled with light conversation, mostly you telling him about yourself and him nodding along. Finally, you pull up into the driveway “Here we are” you say getting out. The house was a blue two story home, with a small rose garden in the front and a cozy yard round the back. Hopping up the front steps your keys jangle as you let yourself in. “Welcome to your new home, for now” you say, closing the door behind him, “I’m just renting for now until I get this whole inheritance thing sorted”.

“I’m sorry for your loss” he say, placing his bag down by the stairs. You wave him off “Oh don’t be. I never really knew my mother, I was adopted so..” you explain.

Waking down the hall you enter the kitchen and living space, the smell of chicken soup permeates through the air. You lift the lid of the slow-cooker, steam bellowing out. The soup bubbles violently, as you go to grab the pre-made rice noodle from the fridge. Turning around, John stands in the doorway, peaking around the corner, staring at the soup. “You hungry?” You ask, as you strain the noodles into the sink before pouring them into the cooker. “Very” he replies shortly. You chuckle at his response. “It’s pretty hot, but it’s ready now” you say, pulling out two bowls from the draw and handing him one.

You serve the both of you dinner, before settling down on the couch in front of the T.V “You wanna watch some Alone? I’m on season 6” you turn to him. John turns back to you, mouth on the edge of the bowl as he shovels in the soup “hmm?”. You snort at him “Never mind, I’ll just put it on”.

With full bellies, the two of you watch T.V until late in the night. You let out a long yawn “You ready for bed yet John?” You ask, turning to him. He grunts a yes, his eyes droopy as he stares back at you tiredly.

Turning the telly off, you lead him upstairs “This is my room if you need me. Yours is just down there. It’s already set up and I’ve left some clothes for you in the closet. This is your bathroom so feel free to have a shower. Uhhh.. yeah good night” you smile at him awkwardly before turning to enter your room.

“Hay” he calls out, causing you to turn in the doorway. “hmm?” You look at him surprised.

“Thank you.. for all of this” he says sincerely. He stares into your eyes, and possibly your soul, with great vulnerability. Your chest swells with a feeling you’re not quite familiar with, your body twitching with energy. You nod at him and smile as normal as you can, with your body wanting to move around. “Good night John” is the only thing you can think to say.

He nods at you, eyes shining with gratitude. You close the door slowly, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

After getting ready for bed, you are finally able to crawl under the covers and settle in for the night. In the next room over you hear John having a long shower before returning to his room. A sense of security and peace washes over you as you finally drift off to sleep.

Part. 2

A/N: My story was inspired by one of @princepotionsss COD Au’s.

If you enjoyed mine, you’ll definitely enjoy theirs ❤️

[chaifootsteps]

some tags on a post I just wanted to share:

hb#critical#FOR FUCKING REAL#this is exactly why i HATE when people say 'but blitz came onto him first! thats why stolas thinks he likes it!'#one moment of consent does not IMPLY consent for all future interactions.#especially in entirely non-sexual situations. stolas is a grown ass man. he should know better#i see 'stolas is autistic/bad at reading tone' a lot too. which is one thing#but blitz isnt using some neurotypical secret coded language. he says 'i dont like this' TO HIS FACE.#if he was just bad at reading tone and/or blitz WAS playing hard to get wouldnt stols take that at face value and stop???????????

that sums it up, really. It's annoying to see so much work done to unpack people feeling entitled to someone they dated/slept with once, or Nice Guy Syndrome, only for the HB fandom to act like we never had those conversations

if the only defence of Stolas is 'well Stolas thinks he likes it because Blitzo slept with him once' then we don't have much nice to say about Stolas, do we?

there's no amount of mental backends one can do to excuse the fact that Blitzo was not 'leading him on' - he immediately dipped after that first night, avoided him, didn't want to take his calls and acted completely disinterested in Stolas outside of the time he was forced to spend with him. Even the whole 'Stolas thought Blitzo liked dirty talk' is categorically untrue because when he pulled that in The Circus Blitzo straight up snapped his neck all the way around and said 'Ew. Stop it' to get him to shut up

Say it with me: Blitzo is not responsible for Stolas' delusions and it's not a flaw on Blitzo's part for wrecking Stolas' illusions about him and their relationship. It's on Stolas for having them in the first place and keeping them way longer than he should have

Oh god, it's the kind of thing that'll break you if you think about it. Years and years of conversations about enthusiastic consent and rape culture and how one consensual encounter doesn't automatically mean consent forever, gone like a fart in the wind.

The very second it's about Blitzo, these people start talking like old 1960s white men asking what the victim was wearing.

[bibookdemon]

Note 1: 'I don't see WWX as trans-coded' That has changed, I've hopped on the genderfluid WWX train, choo-choo!!! However, for the purposes of this au, both LWJ and WWX are amab. (WWX could still be genderfluid, not sure if I'd write him that way for this au if I ever do get around to writing it)

Note 2: fuck I can't add more than 10 pics so I'll have to reblog this FUCK!!!!

Note 3: 'WWX longs to be a dad, like have an actual biological kid' That sounds so fuckin rude please excuse that. I phrased it wrong!!! Adopting kids is just as valid!!! What I meant to say is that he'd happily adopt more kids HOWEVER he desperately wants a biological kid as well. A) He wants to see what a combo of his and LWJ's genes would be like B) he wants to experience pregnancy and birth and every step of this child's life C) while absolutely not the deciding factor but still smth I wanna point out cause it's funny silly, he DOES want to say "Lan Zhan~! Put a baby in me~" (breeding kink)

Note 4: Adoption. I want to make a change, I think they would be able to adopt, but they're a last resort to the rest of the world. If someone had a child they needed to send to a safe place, their first thought isn't going to be LWJ and WWX. :c (but they're always willing to take kids under their wing)

Note 5: LWJ noticing but not saying anything. Look, ok, when you're autistic it's fuckin hard to A) be able to read the situation completely (LWJ notices smth is up but doesn't know WHAT it is) and B) reach out about whatever is up. LWJ also doesn't want to cause his husband any unnecessary anxiety by making him feel like he HAS to answer.

Note 6: 'WWX starts wishing he'd been born female' - This could tie into being genderfluid. Originally it was meant as wanting to be able to bear children, but he doesn't have the anatomy for it.

Note 7: Smth I feel very strongly about is WWX wanting to bear the child. It's not because he's the 'bottom' (where my top/switch WWX fans at?) but simply because it makes sense in my mind. He would be ok with his body being altered to bear children, he'd be ok with carrying those children. LWJ, on the other hand, would not. He would be dysphoric (whether trans OR cie) and it would be overstimulating and overall a horrible, likely traumatizing experience. I have read fics about LWJ getting pregnant, and they're written really well and I love them, however, I likely won't write that. Maybe a breeding kink, but even that doesn't seem as in character for him? Who knows.

Note 8: Really want to highlight life and death as an infinite figure 8 loop. Literally one of my favorite things to think about.

Note 9: LWJ has based his entire life around this man. Of course he wants another kid, and no, it's not just to please him. A-Yuan was wonderful to raise, and while he's absolutely terrified of raising a child *from birth*, because that's different, he wants to experience it. (I also imagine that they stay in Gusu from the time they conceive the child to the time WWX heals from childbirth. So they're really not the only ones raising said child, which means that when they need a break, plenty of people are willing. Especially the older mothers whose children have grown up and flown the coop ✊️😔)

Note 10: *for the next 10 months, not 9

Note 11: While several people are fairly supportive and just happy to see life born of something so dark, born of a tragic past, there are many people who will make life harder for WWX and LWJ and their kid because 'it's unnatural' and 'it's a demon child' and so on and so forth.

Note 12: LXC is so happy for his little brother...after the initial 'wtf' moment.

Note 13: LSZ gets told when people start noticing that WWX has started putting on some weight, but they kinda just wave it off as him getting spoiled by his husband. Anywho. LSZ is quite happy for them!!! He doesn't feel he's being replaced at all, AND HES GONNA HAVE A LITTLE SIBLING?!?!?!? He's gonna have someone he can tell alllllll about his stories with WWX and LWJ!!!! He's ecstatic XD

Note 14: I want to point out that it has been several years since the JGY incident, during which WWX has started rebuilding his bond with JC (with both of them putting aside pride and hatred and deep, deep tragedy to. *See* each other. Really see each other. To remember who they once were, to acknowledge they've changed vastly, and to accept that fact and adapt to it.) It's not easy, they get in fights, they often make each other cry. But they've slowly started repairing the bond. And so WWX goes to JC about his kid and he's nervous and JC is kinda weirded out at first + loathes the idea of using demonic cultivation for a child until WWX explains how it works. At which point he sees...potential in it. It could help a lot of people who want biological children but can't have them. Anywho. Look, he may still not have a great bond with WWX but he does have a soft spot in his heart for his family's children. He does want to be in this kid's life. (And he definitely wants to teach the kid ACTUAL GOOD MORALS! LIKE STAY AWAY FROM DEMONIC CULTIVATION EVEN THOUGH YOUR DAD DOES IT, UNDERSTAND?!)

[draftsandchains]

(sending this off anon cause i don't think it matters) hi sorry for taking so long to reply i finally watched through your unstableverse timestamps and i do like uu!clownferre a lot! sure their dynamic doesn't get that much screentime (understandable), but them being actual long-term teammates is so good. especially when ferre shows up alone and people immediately wonder where clown is like you guys are not beating the allegations.... also re: joining the discord i'm already in it oops. sorry i didn't say anything i'm not the best with talking online outside of anon asks. also hey i didn't know about them joining random smps to massacre the players, that's going to be living in my brain for a while too i think. clownferre and their tendency towards concerning amounts of bloodshed.... it's such a good concept whether they go on a good old-fashioned murder spree or it goes completely wrong for them. lastly: some yap abt the wemmbu finale episode cause that was my favourite one ->

- the way ferre's first appearance is him wordlessly walking up to clown to splash strength for both of them is so. that might be the most romantic gesture you can do in minecraft. (sort of reminds me of that twitter clip of them testing out the mace where he splashes up clown before letting him mace him. very cute honestly)

- were they just having a normal conversation when wemmbu snuck in. hello. that whole section is so fun though i need to watch them fight together more often (except there's no fucking content of course). it's funny how much more talkative ferre is than clown during fights. uhh him basically lighting tnt on clown and telling him "it's fine, it won't kill you" was a good moment too. ferre fighting wemmbu and egg later on was also peak they are so unserious!!!

- clownferre crashout yayyyy. really love the part where ferre offers an olive branch/shows concern ("don't die today") and clown fully rejects it and makes sure to make things worse before he leaves. these guys know how to end off an argument properly <3. kinda reminded me of why it's so common to frame mcrp teammate situations as toxic failmarriages? like the living together/sharing everything/knowing each other too well for your own good of course. and also making your major life decisions together and then regretting them. etc!! (i don't actually think clownferre have that unhealthy of a relationship. but they've got potential)

YOU!!! BELOVED ANON. i totally get not talking even i get shy in the discord imma be honest i do not mind if you keep sending anons instead! i fucking love reading your anons all the time

fuck yes my autistic record of timestamps has a target audience this is our freak circus. fr clown and ferre come as a pair they match each other’s freak to a degree that is harmful to everyone around them. If you see one the other will be coming next. they sure are Not beating the allegations.

omg you are also obsessed with the strength pot literally @.peru and i yapped about that as well it’s just. peak. here’s some of my yap on that too

NEED to see them fight together more you are so real for that. i think there are some in the list of vods where they are on the same team but. there’s not enough. it’s so date night coded. ferre sure is more talkative than clown fr. obsessed with that like we know ferre is the better pvper so he probably calls out more in fights. once again married husbands energy. it’s probably a thing where ferre will call out instructions during fights like the tnt and clown will follow im insane about that.

GODDD the wemmbu and egg fight. i love and hate that so much. help im too pvppilled for this. He Would Not Fucking Pvp Like That. like how did they decide that was a plot point. “Yeah wemmbu and egg needs to win this one how do we debuff ferre” “just schedule it for 5pm that’s when the ping is worst for him” man. but anyways u are so right they are so unserious. worst hostage ever this guy is so unserious. he’s somehow the most chill guy in the hostage situation.

I LOVE the crashout. like it has the energy of a serious fight but also u know they will fuck and make up later. it’s so goood. i sure have so much thoughts of how toxic they can still be that’s my fav lol i was raised on the ao3 dead dove tag

anyways my nsfw blog @queereldritchmischief if you want e rated yaps go harass me there<3

i will block minors saying it rn.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #287 (Part 1?)

Well, today is the day. In about an hour and a half, I arrive at the place to get some teeth yanked out. I know today's letter is really early, but I don't know if I'll feel well enough to write later, so I wanna make sure I do it now. I promised a letter every day, after all. I'm hungry. But you're supposed to be, if you're getting knocked out. They don't want you to end up throwing up while you're being operated on.

I'm a little nervous. I'm not nervous about dying or whatever; I'm nervous about being in a lot of pain when I wake up. I'm nervous about being in pain for at least the next week. Nervous about the aftercare aspect, what with needing to squirt saline in the little holes left behind. Nervous about ending up with dry socket. Nervous about the fact that for the next couple days, I'll probably have to rest. Nervous about the discomfort of the braces after the fact.

…

Well. I put on my favorite shirt. I will be brave and do the scary and uncomfortable thing because I know it's gonna be better for me in the long run.

Unfortunately, when we have problems - even if those problems are not our fault - there's no easy way out of them. There's no shortcut to solving them. As unfair as it is, you just have to grit your teeth and get it done. It holds true for teeth your parents never got looked at. It's true of PTSD, of autism, of ADHD. It holds true for lots of things.

…Suppose I learned really early on that no one is actually coming to save me. No one can pop by to wave a magic wand and fix the inside of my face without discomfort on my part. No one can pop by to wave a magic wand and instantly install mindfulness and coping practices into my PTSD-addled brain; I have to practice them. No one can pop by to wave a magic wand and make the world accept queer autistic AFABs; I have to practice good boundary skills and I have to be the example of what I want to see in the world with the hopes that it will inspire kindness and compassion in others.

It's as the song says: "There's no easy way out. There's no shortcut home…"

Oh. You might not know that song. Here, I'll give you the version of it done by The Protomen; I like that one better than the original. Their lead singer is astounding:

The Protomen have A LOT of really amazing songs. They have their own rock opera based around the Megaman games. It's definitely worth taking a look, I think.

…I generally find this song inspiring when I gotta just grit my teeth and do the thing. I focus on, "We're not indestructible." I focus on, "I think it's unbelievable how you give into the hands of fate," as in, "why would you give in to fate when you have choices?" I focus on, "Some things are worth fighting for; some feelings never die." I focus on, "I'm thinking about what I used to be," as in, "I've already come so far."

I get really confused by the line that goes "Giving in can't be wrong", though. It seems kind of antithetical to the whole rest of the song. So I usually just lop off the "apostrophe-t" in my head. 😋

The Megas is another group based on the Megaman games. Here's one of my favorites:

I especially like the parts that begin at around 1:40:

------- "Brother if we walk the program, what system do you serve? Is your song just lines of code or something that you heard? And now you want to know what you're supposed to be; stop pretending you don't have a choice - only that can set you free. And now you want to burn the world into the ground? This rage is not your destiny - it's holding you down!"

"I refuse to believe that I'm nothing more than a machine! I refuse to believe that we can't learn to see! The truth was in a dream; I will not kill; no, I will believe!"

"Believe me when I say, if this could end today, I'd do it, I would. [But] for his crimes, should his life I take? Does that mean no man or machine can learn from his mistakes? [That] no man or machine is more than their mistakes?"

"I refuse to believe that I'm nothing more than a machine! I refuse to believe that we can't learn to see! The truth was in a dream; I will not kill; no, I will believe!" -------

...The "brother" who wants to "burn the world into the ground" turns around. Just in case you wondered. 😁💖

...Ahaha... It's hard for me to talk about The Protomen without also talking about The Megas. They're both really great groups. Thanks for bearing with me.

...Well. I suppose that's it for today. I had better get ready to go. I'll be back home in a little while. Maybe I'll write again later today. But just in case I don't:

I love you. Please, please, please stay safe out there. Please remember that you have choices and that you can do good, kind, and loving things with them. Please remember that even if your path is difficult and really long, you're capable of so much more than you think. Even if the process of rebuilding and restoring that which was broken isn't easy, it's still worth doing. Please give it a try, and remember to ask for help when you need to.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[lotus-duckies]

the queerness of 2012 is really weird because it straddles the line of plausible deniability so well and the fact it's so obviously edgy teenage boy coded, so when something kinda queer happens you're like "wait was that intentional or" as opposed to Rise, where the queer coding is blatant, especially with its usage of gender nonconformity and literally putting a rainbow flag into the show

so anyway here's an essay about leo's bisexuality. yes this will be covering his crush on karai in a romantic context even though everyone hates it and wants to rephrase it as gender envy, i'm sorry but someone has to do it

The first question we must ask, does Leo have some kind of indication of having attraction to more than one gender?

There was a tumblr post recounting canon tmnt facts, one of which says the art book states that Leo has a 'man crush' on Captain Ryan.

Which, I am wheezing at the idea that the thing that makes Leo imperfect is the fact he has a man crush on Captain Ryan. Nothing else, just the man crush.

I did google the definition of a man crush because even though I am clearly just so manly what the heck is that.

-an intense and typically non-sexual liking or admiration felt by one man for another. -a man who is the object of another's intense liking or admiration.

Yeah that's approximately Leo's relationship with Captain Ryan, an intense admiration for a fictional man. Obviously, having a man crush doesn't automatically mean you're attracted to men, but given Leo's general behaviors in the show, I'm more inclined to believe he does have Some Kind of attraction to men.

Karai

The thing about Leo's crush on Karai is that it was executed in a distinctly different way than any of his brothers' love affairs.

With his brothers, they're very open about the fact they're into whatever girl the narrative has assigned them. Donnie's crush has been known by everyone since episode 1 and he and Mikey are not subtle about their admiration. Raph was talking about how cool he thinks Mona is and if turtles and newts can go on dates even though she was introduced as an antagonist before becoming an ally.

Karai was also introduced as an antagonist who Leo has some kind of attraction to, but he hid it. He refused to tell his family about it, only telling April who then chastised him about it. His family only found out by accident, and even then he either didn't tell them he liked her, shrouded in excuses of "We both like the fine craftsmenship of swords" and "I can see the good in her, I can save her", or begrudginly added "I guess I sort of liked her" at the end.

This reads as a very queer narrative, closeted kids discovering themselves and only their friends know out of fear of getting rejected by their families.

And this is also why I do think Leo has an Actual Crush on Captain Ryan. Trying to explain it as having an admiration for Captain Ryan and wanting to be a hero is much the same as trying to explain why he was hanging out with Karai, wanting to help her or admire swords.

His personality as a Very Good Boy who follows the rules and cares if they accidentally hurt people exemplifies the changes he went through from Karai's influence.

(also like. if space heroes is supposed to be a parody of star trek. girl star trek is so horny. and Leo says that space heroes has a ton of fans currently, implying he's seen the fanbase, and the very strong possibility that the fanbase is mostly populated by gay fanfiction

and yknow. Leo's the embodiment of 2010's tumblr fangirl, which has a lil queer autistic in it)

Karai is very visibly a lesbian, an edgy punk butch lesbian, and she and Shinigami lowkey embody a butch femme dynamic and the fact Karai is depicted as the more formidable, domineering force with a sword and Shinigami as a bit more pathetic with a cat is reminiscent of the japanese lesbian dynamics from this post. It's all very gay.

And she's an antagonist lesbian to Leo's closeted and internalized biphobia.

She represents the desire to give up and be swallowed by selfishness, forgoing responsibility and cleanliness in favor of having fun.

Leo is resistant to giving in. His attempts to do so immediately get shut down, and he's rejected by his family, even for a moment, for wanting to go do Bad Things. He tries to fix Karai, make her good and acceptable. But he slips further, eventually falling into Karai's circle to be gay and commit crimes against the Foot Clan empire.

In this way his sexuality is explored through self expression, the moral ambiguity, and transition from an absolute rule follower caring deeply about the affects his actions has on others to burning a building full of money. It's very classic "good girl getting corrupted" story telling, but at the same time it isn't, because Leo maintains an overall good moral compass, he just grew up. Sometimes killing people is a necessity, sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes people get hurt.

Being queer stops being this huge shameful, evil thing and it starts just being part of you.

[ayebibs]

I just finished Veilguard. I have so many thoughts. Very raw and unpolished under the cut. I have no one to talk about this with so my dash must suffer. Probably will ramble on more later too.

Tldr; I am highly critical but I had a fun enough time and still love dragon age.

Definitely felt the loss of my world state choices. Especially if this is a soft relaunch and I may never have my characters or thedas mentioned ever again.

Hot take, I don't care for Morrigan that much. She's fine and I like her, but I love Varric more and would much rather have seen other past companions. Someone give me back fenris and merrill. Also, why is Isabela in basically every game. I like her but? I cannot determine the reason. Am I missing lore?

Speaking of Varric, I clocked his death immediately (no one but rook ever spoke to him?) His death felt cheapened by the poorly executed twist for me. Disappointing and annoying to me.

So much good lore (and much of it wasted). Why did everything feel so surface level except in the crossroads? That part of the narrative was so much tighter. So much could have been done with the Titans, in my opinion, and I think so little of that was explored.

Such a satisfying ending, but the rest of the game could be such a slog sometimes? Like, the ending lowkey reminded me of Origins and fighting the darkspawn and archdemon with the help of the people you built relationships with along the way, which was very cool. But I felt like all of those faction relationships were very shallow. Maybe we should have been able to talk to more people (with menus and branching dialogue) in the factions and do more sidequests to feel more attached?

So much marketing about the focus on companions but the romance was less of a focus than it has ever been and I didn't feel connected to, like, anyone except for Davrin and Assan. I didn't feel a single ounce of regret with my choices (I'm sorry, I don't get the hype around Harding... she was fine in inquisition but really didn't stand out to me. She had little depth imo as well...). We barely got to talk to them and learn their history and likes outside of caracitures of who they were. Yes, I get it Neve is a noir detective, Lucas is coffee man and spite is coffee demon, bellara is quirky and autistic coded. And none of those things make well-rounded characters.

Really wished I had romanced anyone but Lucanis because I thought he was bland (sue me) and Zevran doesn't exist for whatever is going on in that revisionist take on the crows. Also, I hate the sleeping together before the final battle trope. So much of that build up and romance should have happened earlier. The romance simply felt new to me and I didn't feel invested at all.

Speaking of revisionist history, how the hell was the enslavement of elves in tevinter barely mentioned? Or racism? I saw an excuse about someone having to write that and like... bffr. You can't just ignore hard topics. That is where the depth and nuance in dragon age comes from (not nuance in slavery mind you, but think fenris' opinion on mages because of his history). As the inquisitor, my lavellan constantly experienced racism and I loved it because I am female minority and have experience with those issues. Working around it or plowing though sometimes was gratifying and fun. I don't people see racism in a video game and automatically think "oh no bioware is racist?" If that's the issue.

Davrin was my favorite companion and i really wished I had romanced him. Might replay as a grey warden man and do that because I think that would be very cool plot wise. I think I also got what I wanted out of his companion quests. Like, they answered what I wanted and had a satisfying ending.

Also, I liked Bellara so much more than I thought I would, especially because I chose her at the very end and she becomes blighted. Her dialogue is very rough though and not appropriate for the tone of this game 97% of the time.

Still cannot get over how bad the dialogue was. Truly egregious. Very anachronistic and took me out of the story nearly every time some characters opened their mouths. The main offender being my Rook who could literally only be nice and very "go team." She sounded like my manager trying to convince me that our job is made of one big, happy family no matter what dialogue I chose. Also, I wanted to throw my controller at my monitor every time Neve said "the job."

Taash's storyline really could have been something great because there were glimmers when I really loved them, but the anachronistic phrases and lack of skill with their storyline really killed it for me. I have a lot of thoughts on this because I really think it was EXTREMELY lazy and showed a real lack of care for either nonbinary rep (which can still happen with own voices) or simply writing for a piece of existing media. I could think of many easy ways to improve it. Some glimmers are even in the game. Like when the spirit addresses Taash as cousin instead of sister? Why not more of this? Also what was with the push ups for misgendering and then immediately being like, oh saying sorry a bunch makes it more for the person who fucked up? Like... the pushups are different?? And definitely don't draw more attention to an insulting or dysphoric moment?

All that aside, I was decently happy as a solalavellan girlie. I can 100% see why people don't like Solas and might have chosen endings that end badly for him, but I feel strongly that he was the best written character in he last two games.

Had a fun enough time. Happy the game finally got made. Ending really saved this from being a 5/10 for me. Would rank around 7/10 rounded up.

Don't think the game needs a dlc, but there is always a part of me that wants to play through rebuilding in the aftermath of a near world ending fight that destroyed everything. Like, take me to Ferelden. Is my husband, the king, okay?

Desperately, desperately hoping that there is another game that is a true return to form to the first three games (yes, even 2 because the characters are so, so well loved) and more like the ending of veilguard. Also that we get a return of world states meaning something. Hate to be that bitch, but genuinely hoping Baldur's Gate raised expectations for story-based, rpg games and Bioware survives to bring back my favorite game series to what I loved so much.

Fingers crossed the next one (is made at all) doesn't take 10 years.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey sex witch! long time listener, first time caller, and i was hoping you could help me out

i'm about a year on hrt, and my sexuality has been in major flux because of it. i went from being 1000% asexual for almost a decade to feeling a lot more comfortable calling myself bi, and it's been a really great feeling to get in touch with my sexuality in a new way!

my question really is......how do i initiate sex, especially casual sex?

i've never tried to before, because i was never really interested before. i'm aromantic and totally opposed to having a romantic partner, so there's nobody that i can sit down with and say "i would like to try this new thing," and i'm autistic, so figuring out that social dance is a mess and a half.

do you have any advice? thank you for your time!!! i love reading your blog <3

okay so first off congrats on the hrt and the fun new sexuality, etc etc, love that for you, love to see it.

anyway now that we got that out of the way I'm going to say something that a lot of people who are new to this whole sex-having thing need to hear: there aren't cheat codes, man. there's no single answer to "how do I initiate sex" that I can give you, and anyone who says otherwise is probably trying to sell you something. no matter what you say or do, there will be some people for whom it's an instant panty dropper and people for whom it's an irrevocable turn-off forever.

"okay so how do I figure out the difference" well. you take the time to get to know people and figure out a.) if they seem like they'd be into sex and b.) what the best way to broach the subject with them is. that time you spend with them could be half an hour over drinks before you head back to your place to bone or it could be building a friendship over weeks and months before you broach the subject of adding sex to the mix; that part's up to you.

the only part that's not optional is that whether you're looking for romance with your sex or not, no sex is going to happen without some amount of communication with other people and care about them as individuals. that's gonna mean a lot of potential awkwardness and risk-taking that's just part and parcel of having sex, you don't get the rewards of boning without the mortifying ordeal of being vulnerable with other people.

um so that's how you do it you go places or you get on an app or whatever and you find someone you think you could have a good connection with and at some point you put yourself in the position of being told "no" when you ask them if they'd want to have sex with you and then you just deal with whatever the answer is and don't take it personally either way. and you figure out a way to navigate all of that that works for you and makes you happy. and that's how you have sex.

[titsgirlbuffy]

hey sorry if you've gotten a million alerts about me liking way too many of your posts!! i'm currently rewatching Buffy and Angel for the first time in over a decade (i first watched both shows between ages 10 and 13 so this has been an eye opening rewatch) and the hyperfixation has returned big time! I've been scouring the internet for meta and all of yours that i've read resonate with me a lot.

if you ever feel like writing them out (no pressure of course!) i'd love to read some more of your gay Wesley thoughts -- i've also always read him as gay, and i have such a strange time going into his tag on tumblr because soooo much of it is Wes/Lilah content. i'm particularly curious about your thoughts on how a gay reading of Wesley impacts his storylines with Lilah, Fred, and maybe Virginia. also sorry if all this is weird from a non-Buffy-blog stranger!!

Omg Thank You for sending this! It’s been sitting in my inbox for a while cause I needed to actually think about it in words rather than just. Autistic screeching. And also cause I wanted to see more of the Wesley/Lilah relationship to make sure my first thoughts weren’t totally baseless (if anything they’re being proven further). Just watched Apocalypse Now-ish so there’s probably later stuff I’d add in if I’d seen the whole show.

I’m really surprised by how many fans read him as straight (no offense but we have different eyes). Wesley’s coded as queer pretty often – part of it’s just the queer-coding of the Buffyverse supernatural in general (see This Old Gang of Mine for a questionable but really clear-cut example), but there’s also tons where it’s him specifically (in Sanctuary where the council’s kill squad call him out on his “perverted” relationship with Angel and also call him a ponce, Wesley stopping Angel in that same episode before the fight to make sure he knows he gave up a chance to go home and be accepted by his father and culture For Angel, multiple times in season one when outsiders assume he and Angel are together, that time Angel gets possessed by an old guy who assumes Wesley is his boyfriend and tries to let him down gently but freaks out when Wesley goes to touch him… etc etc etc). Plus the way he looked up to Angel in early seasons absolutely comes across as a crush, he and Gunn were So into each other but Wesley especially was repressed about it (running theme, man radiates internalised homophobia), and all his relationships with women… well, there’s Layers going on.

So his early relationship with Cordelia was the first time (if you don’t count just. Looking at him) I solidly thought Wesley must be gay, rather than any other label. To me that’s absolutely a comphet relationship on his part. The crucial parts of the Cordelia/Wesley relationship is that 1. He sees himself as “a bad, bad man” for wanting to pursue anything with Cordelia, and as such 2. She is completely unattainable, but 3. When it’s proven that she’s Not unobtainable actually, the relationship falls apart the instant they try to do anything about it. He’s attracted to Cordelia because it’s a safely straight crush where he’s not Allowed to actually follow through on anything (and panics the moment he does anyway), and to an extent because a relationship would give him a reason to stay in California.

I headcanon Wesley as actually working out that he’s gay between seasons 1 and 2 – purely because he’s the one who introduces the group to Caritas and was visiting it between seasons, which… do I need to explain why Caritas is a gay bar? Please feel to ask me to explain that if anyone doesn’t get it, but for now, trust me, as a frequenter of gay karaoke bars, Caritas is 100% a gay karaoke bar. This is also around the time he starts dressing differently, stops wearing multi-piece fully buttoned suits year round in California. He’s getting more comfortable being himself.

Which all makes his relationship with Virginia really interesting. They met when he was mimicking Angel’s Straight Man Persona (literally in the same episode where Angel was getting therapy and being told that his manly persona is an act and that it’s hurting him. Yeah), and I’m not totally sure if she was a beard or a purposefully chosen Public Relationship. She was a billionaire socialite – again, Wesley’s internalised homophobia is off the charts, and this is a relationship that got into the papers (and would definitely get back to his family, if they made any effort to look). Sidenote, I’m genuinely certain that he was just homeless until they got together. Wesley is established as Broke™, starts dating a billionaire, and suddenly has a large swank apartment? In LA? I am simply drawing connections. So yeah, while I’m undecided about how much Virginia knew this, their relationship reads as one based on public persona and just social climbing generally.

Fred’s the most complicated of his relationships with women. The rivalry with Gunn is probably a part of it, but actually I think a bigger part is Billy. As in, Billy, the guy who made any guy who touched him (or his blood, sorry Wes) become violently misogynistic. Side eyeing the writers for that one, but still, it Really fucked Wesley up. Fred was fine, she doesn’t blame him, but after the spell wore off Wesley literally hid in his room for a week then told her “I don’t know what kind of man I am anymore” then Cut His Hair Short Again. Some sort of closeness to Fred had been alluded to before this (protecting her in This Old Gang Of Mine despite her very much being able to protect herself, suddenly being given an interest in science despite being a linguist), but that was really the turning point for this being a textual Attraction. Even then, similar to the Cordelia thing, Wesley never makes a move (assuring everyone who asked that he would when he was ready. Okay), and when he talks about it, it’s an attraction to a Fred that literally doesn’t exist.

Fred doesn’t need anyone making a shovel talk on her behalf – she can and will just kill them herself (at the point I’m at, she and Gunn might break up because He killed someone when she’d wanted to do it on her own). There was a great moment when Lilah dressed up as “Fred”, complete with schoolgirl outfit and glasses, and the shot cut to Fred, hair down, glasses free, ready to hunt a ghost with Gunn. The irony is that the Fred who actually Does exist has way more in common with Wesley (it’s honestly just the gender that’s the issue here), but in a combo of self hatred and need to redeem himself post-Billy, Wesley’s created this sweet innocent young scientist who he needs to Protect™. Is that love? Well, he didn’t make a move when he thought it was.

I can see why people like his relationship with Lilah. They’re awful. Literally the first time they slept together it was because Wesley was So depressed and was hoping he wouldn’t regret it until the morning (didn’t work. Regretted it instantly). He doesn’t have a job, and Lilah’s trying to recruit him to W&H. I said, the second time we saw them on screen, that he was prostituting himself. I was joking! But uh. Canon jokes about how “giving” Lilah is. Expensive bribes (“gifts”, Lilah insists) Wesley could never afford. He makes a bet with her for ONE DOLLAR, loses, she MAKES HIM SIGN THE DOLLAR, and then LEAVES IT WITH HIM. They’re in bed for this. I just. I was joking. I wasn’t expecting an actual scene of them in bed with a dollar bill between them. What the fuck. Anyway, that aside, he really does just hate himself right now, tangibly depressed post-baby-theft, and Lilah is There. Caritas doesn’t exist any more and there’s no plausible deniability in a non-demon gay bar.

Thanks again for reading my stuff @lostupst8 <3 never apologise for spamming me, I crave attention

[spooky-switch]

Spooky's FNAF Movie Review (Spoilers Below The Cut)

Final Rating:

★★★★☆

General Information:

↬ I have only played the first two games, and that was years ago, but I am fairly familiar with the lore thanks to theory videos and infodumps from my little brother. I think it is safe to say that even if you have not played the games, you can still follow alone with this film and enjoy it. ↬ Takes elements from multiple games and incorporates them all into a new (but familiar) storyline Long term fans will be pleased by the references but might have a hard time with changes made to the lore. ↬ Matthew Lillard and Josh Hutcherson stole the show, of course. They both have some serious acting chops and performed their parts well, though this is not to say that the rest of the cast did a poor job. Most of the cast members did a pretty decent job, though a few minor characters broke the tension at times with comedic overacting (this was probably intentional, though, as this is a PG-13 film). ↬ The puppeteering and suits by the Jim Henson company were absolutely amazing! While I had my doubts after watching the trailer, in the final film they looked far less like CGI and more like actual physical objects, in part due to how they interacted with the actors and the environments. ↬ There were a couple of plot holes at the end of the film that had me scratching my head, but this is 'Five Nights At Freddy's,' so I tried not to nitpick it too much. Looking at the series as a whole, I would say this is the most cohesive story we have been given, so plot holes can be forgiven in my opinion.

Sensory Information:

↬ This movie contains plenty of jump scares (which is normal and expected for the franchise), so expect lots of loud, sudden noises. I watched it in theaters with my little brother, and even though we took care to pick seats away from any speakers, it was still so loud at points that we needed to cover our ears. If you are especially sensitive to sound like I am, I would recommend either bringing hearing protection or watching the film at home (it should be available for streaming on Peacock). ↬ This film also contains tones of bright, flashing lights. These are littered throughout the film and go on for long durations of time. I was not bothered by them but those with high sensitivity to bright lights (and those prone to seizures) might want to be wary of this film.

Spoilers:

↬ Can we all agree that Abby is autistic coded? To me, the whole relationship between her and Michael is a big brother learning to connect with his neurodivergent little sister while cope with some pretty severe trauma (the loss of their parents and brother). ↬ I am sad to say that, no, Markiplier is not in the film. However, I can happily say that MATPAT IS, even if just briefly! ↬ Of all the jump scares, the stupid Balloon Boy one was the only one that really got me (even after the third time they did it). ↬ The tickle scene was not as bad as I thought it would be, in part because I had fair warning of what it entailed and where it would be in the film (thanks for the heads up, @unbeleevable, I owe you one). It was arguably less cringy than the 'Barbie' tickle scene, which is all I could really ask for (besides Michael getting pulled into the tickle fight, which I knew was not going to happen). ↬ Honestly? Vanessa was really getting on my nerves. If she had just TOLD Michael what was going on, it would have saved them both a lot of trouble. I mean, if she really cared about Abby being safe, why not explain everything to Michael so he would be more motivated to keep his sister away from the pizzeria? ↬ OH, and when Vanessa just TOSSED Michael's medication into the water?! Like, girl, do you know how much that stuff costs, especially in this economy (we all know Michael was probably having to pay out of pocket for it, too, since there is no way that man had health insurance)? ↬ Oh my god, when the Springtrap suit was finally revealed, I was so excited! It looked amazing, standing out as one of the best practical effects of the film, especially when combined with how it moved and Lillard's vocal performance. ↬ So, did anyone ever find the body of the aunt? Last time we see her, she is laying dead on Michael's living room floor. Did he call the police? If so, how did he explain her death? If not, WHERE DID HE PUT THE BODY?! ↬ When they played the Living Tombstone song at the end, it took everything in me not to start jamming out to it, especially seeing how happy my little brother was. We sat through the credits just to hear the whole thing.

[fallenrocket]

Unhatched Observations: Ms. Marvel

It’s that time again—looking over some of my old posts about a story with Big Neurodivergent Energy and realizing how it resonated with me as an “unhatched” autistic ADHDer. Today, we’re looking at Ms. Marvel. I’ve got a mix of comics and TV show posts here, and it delights me that I picked up on Kamala Khan’s similarities to Peter Parker, another ADHD-coded teenage superhero.

Ms. Marvel, Vol. 1: No Normal

I like that [Kamala’s] a bit of a nerd and a total Avengers fangirl (she writes Avengers fanfic—love it.)  She’s smart and funny, with a bravery-loyalty combination that tends to outweigh her sense of self-preservation, but she can also to impulsive, insecure, and reactive.  It takes her a while to get a handle on her powers, which feels realistic, especially considering how closely powers can be tied to emotions.  I love the scene of Kamala hiding in the girls’ locker room with one hand enlarged so big her wrist can hardly hold it up, desperately trying to will it back to normal size before anyone sees her.

Ms. Marvel, Vol 4: Last Days

And then, just for fun… Spider-Man!  Just an amusing romp with Kamala and Peter chasing after some baddies who’ve stolen a Terrigenesis cocoon for nefarious purposes.  Kamala is awesome pestering Peter with annoying fangirl questions and geeking out over helping him execute some of his “classic moves.”

Ms. Marvel, Vol. 5: Super Famous

She’s beyond thrilled to get her shot in the major leagues, but it takes a toll.  Kamala is shocked by all that’s been happening in her life that she straight-up hasn’t noticed because she’s so busy, both personal (her close friend Bruno getting a girlfriend who isn’t her) and professional (a definitely-shady real-estate outfit using her likeness to promote their gentrification agenda.)  Frantically playing catchup, Kamala tries to do it all on her own, wanting to prove she can handle herself, but with less-than-stellar results.

***

I really enjoy the theme of Kamala having too many balls in the air but stubbornly trying to do it all—both because she genuinely loves everything she’s involved in and because she doesn’t want the Avengers (read:  her heroes/new colleagues) to think she’s just some kid who’s out of her league.  The mistakes she makes here feel real and well-earned thematically, and even though some of them are definite doozies, they’re drawn so organically from who she is as a character that I can totally buy Kamala getting herself into this situation.

Favorite Characters: Kamala Khan

Despite her love for all things superheroics, especially Captain Marvel, Kamala Khan never dreamed that that could be her, not really. Sure, she throws her entire soul into her cosplay for AvengerCon, but in her experience, “It’s not really the brown girls from Jersey City who save the world.” She instead injects drama and stakes into her ordinary life, planning her clandestine excursion to AvengerCon like an intricate heist.

***

Ms. Marvel has always been a spiritual successor to Spider-Man, and in Kamala’s live-action debut, the show really leans into the parallels with the MCU’s version of the webcrawler. Kamala brings so much Peter-Parker-in-Homecoming energy to the proceedings. She’s super excitable and inclined to run before she can walk, she’s incredibly well-meaning but very capable of causing accidental trouble, and she struggles to balance ordinary life and superheroing. In short, she’s a good kid who’s dealing with a lot, and she doesn’t always handle it in the most responsible way.

***

Also? She’s just a ton of fun. I love her wild imagination, fangirl attention to detail, and penchant for doodling.

Relationship Spotlight: Kamala & Muneeba Khan

Muneeba doesn’t get Kamala’s intense fandom over the Avengers, she worries over her daydreamy daughter’s flightiness, and she frets over Kamala’s well-being. This leaves Kamala feeling misunderstood, judged, and distrusted, which isn’t exactly a recipe for a healthy mother/daughter relationship.

[casbastian]

Real, gonna add a couple of my own thoughts bc.. i can

I wish they had more time for side characters, some of them at least deserved background cameos at the end if nothing else

And the main ship… i will forever believe Maddie and Caspian should’ve been sibling coded i stg

Honestly if i couldve seen maddie, justine and caspian as a friend group i think it wouldve healed my soul bc justine hates caspian for some unclear reason (maybe he was an ass to her on that call before she called maybe, would make sense given the context) it wouldve been funny as hell having them both be frenemies but besties with maddie. This is turning into a rant about how much i want this but idc, theyre all “loser” only children with no friends outside each other PLEASE it wouldve been the cutest case of found family ever

Speaking of family i wouldve died, DIED to see cary and caspian make up and cary get a chance to finally be a good dad to caspian, him just dipping from the plot WOUNDED MEA (at least he got a proper send off, sorry justine

The amount of side characters who just blipped out of existence in season 2 will never not hurt me

Jesus im being negative as well.. uhh.. positive things is i really liked how they animated maddies hair, i liked mists :3 faces, caspian as a character just >>> i love a man i can kin and simp for at the same time.

I rlly liked Chandas demon form. Tbh i wish more characters got redesigns/ alternate forms. Mainly the UIs, chanda being the only one to really self actualize his appearance feels like wasted potential to me.

Tbh theres just a lot of characters i wish we could’ve seen more of and get in their head better

Maddies grandma existing in ep one and then never existing again 😔

Reminds me like.. the maddie being bullied thing felt so important at the start but then it’s entirely resolved in one episode. Not saying i enjoyed seeing her getting bullied cuz i definitely didnt but it felt.. idk like what was the point if it was gonna be wrapped up so soon? Not that i can think of a better way to have handled it lol

Speaking of bullying what was nicoles deal 😭 i NEED to know why she’s beefing with caspian so hard because she fucking HATES him. I guess he’s just the classic autistic “quiet kid” and hes getting all the stigma that comes with that

Another thing is you could argue that a LOT of characters in this show especially in the main cast are autistic. Also a lot of characters are kind of assholes lol… so a ton of autistic assholes. We love that tbh (not David tho, autistic maybe but he was patient even with casp post time skip and 💀 bro i mean given the situation he probably couldnt afford to get angry about it considering the task at hand, but I certainly wouldve had something to say) in all seriousness tho i do love how autistic coded a lot of characters seem it makes me happy.

The animation is.. inconsistent in quality at times

Every once in a while (this isnt a great example but its what i have saved) theyll have the characters move their heads a bit or smth to be more fluid ig but there isnt enough frames or smth so it looks choppy. Other times it looks amazing but i can think of at least two times, both in s2, one with pope and one with casp where that happens (pope talking with renee at that bar and caspian talking to maddie on the plane while he’s comparing mist to a tumor)

I have more takes i just worry im being mostly negative at this point and while i could come up with more positive things to say as well, its getting late, or early depending on how you look at it 💀

Gn/gm all my lovelies and if you haven’t seen pantheon.. go watch it rn i stg we’re gonna fight if you don’t 👊 💥 /lh

Assorted Pantheon thoughts

Just recently finished watching the show and wanted to put my thoughts down somewhere, full spoilers under the cut

Going to be forever salty with how poorly this series was treated by AMC, between being stuck on their shitty streaming service and being written off for tax purposes

Overall I think the first season is a bit stronger than the second, the emotional hook of Maddie's relation with her dad was amazing and I don't think the second season was able to get something quite as compelling

that said I do think it was the right call to kill off David at the end of the first season

In general I feel the first two episodes are an incredible start

One of the best complements I can give to the first two episodes is that they were able to get my mom who never watches animated stuff like this onboard with the show

Chanda's uploading scene was disturbing in the best way possible

I really liked Chanda's role in the first season even when he turns in an antagonist you can understand his logic and motivations

Unfortunately he felt underutilized in season 2

Wonder if Chanda and the others could have fought Holstrom alongside Caspian, they could still have the same fate but it would make them feel like they have more of a contribution instead of something that needs to be gotten out of the way before the main event

The direction of the show was consistently amazing, a few moments that stood out to me was Chanda looping the virtual office, Laurie's message getting cut off transitioning to the credits of episode 7, Caspian exploring Yair's removed memories, and Maddie with all the simulated realities in dyson sphere

In general I feel like they did I good job making the digital world feel different from the real world with the editing, the more actiony fight scenes for the uploaded characters, and the more crazy digital character designs both before and after the 20 year time skip

In particular I like how the fight at the end of season one looked with Chanda and David modifying their appearances, exemplified that the feeling of difference between the worlds really well

Caspian's fake abusive family was really interesting to watch play out over the first half of season 1 and the reveal of him being a clone felt shocking yet makes perfect sense

really liked the unstated horror that Hanna/Rachel was probably going to be killed to push Caspian

I need merch of rice cooker MIST yesterday

Seriously look at her

Middle of season two felt maybe a little formulaic, with them trying to find a UI that would be the right one to cure over several episodes

That said I feel the ideas they explored with the various UI's where really interesting so I don't think its that big of an issue

From what I understand the show was always meant to be two seasons and the cancellation did not effect that, but I really wish the last two episodes could have been a whole season, there is so much interesting stuff going on there

Though I am impressed how much they managed to fit in those two episodes, in particular I liked seeing what Maddie was doing over the 20 years

Really wish we could have gotten a scene of Maddie deciding to upload if nothing else

definitely plan to rewatch the show at some point to see what I catch on a second go around

it might sound like I am being a bit more negative on season two, but I still really enjoyed it, and it got me thinking a lot, especially the last two episodes

Overall I would give it a 9/10

Seriously fuck AMC

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 240

His Last Vow

“His Last Vow”

Plot Description: Sherlock goes up against Charles Augustus Magnussen, media tycoon and a notorious blackmailer

I had to check…at the time this aired, I definitely knew Magnussen was played by Hannibal’s brother. The Mikkelsen brothers have a very wonderfully offputting effect on any scene they’re in

Yikes yikes yikes. Sure *I* know this guy is bad, but the way this committee is asking him questions just feels xenophobic

I hate the twist at the end that this is Magnussen’s mind palace and none of what we’re seeing is real…so the only way to get rid of his files on everyone is to shoot him in the head

This man is such a downgrade from Moriarty. Yes, I'm biased, but I'm also right

Wait, there was another person in that room and he just...LET MAGNUSSEN LICK THAT LADY'S FACE?

I do remember how the "WELL I'M NOT NOW" gif was all over this site for a long time after this episode aired. It's probably the highl--I was going to say it's the highlight of the episode but I forgot this one, I BELIEVE, has Mycroft being forced into Christmas celebrations, so...that's...that's better

Man, they really jumped to all sorts of conclusions all while Sherlock was saying that he was in the drug den for a case. Not even a clean urine test saved him from Molly slapping him and everyone berating him. wtf

This is possibly the one time where I'm like "Mmmmm, Mycroft, noooo" You're SIDING WITH MAGNUSSEN?! Look, I KNOW he's got all sorts of info on all sorts of people, but that does not make him an asset to you, bud

John's total confusion about Janine's presence in 221b is very chef's kiss. He's also so fucking annoyed by it.

I'm sorry. But the (lack of) build up for Magnussen's big bad status for this season makes everything Sherlock is saying about him just fall completely flat. I truly don't blame John for remaining more distracted by Janine and Sherlock dating

Remember how everyone wanted Janine to secretly be Moriarty's sister? (That does make season 4 just a little bit funny...) They saw a dark haired Irish actress and went "She MUST be related to Moriarty"

He really needs to stop pulling all these gross power moves. Moriarty would never.

God, I forgot that Janine was Magnussen's assistant.

Dude. I think this is the moment that I actually hate using Sherlock as ace and/or aro coded representation (and if we're being for real the autistic coding of the character, too). He just proposed to Janine in order to get into Magnussen's office and called her love for him that allowed him to do that "human error." Not being experiencing those types of attraction does not make someone inherently cruel like that

They get wayyyyyyyyy too...I don't even know what to call it. I don't want to call it artistic because that's so broad. But from the moment Mary shoots Sherlock, the way this part is being filmed is such a departure from the "modern twist on the Sherlock Holmes stories" that we get in the first two seasons and even, to a lesser extent, the first two episodes of this season. They're, for some reason, being akin to an action movie.

There's so much time wasted on Sherlock being shot and nearly dying.

EUGH!! NO. Not the subconscious mention of the secret sister that comes in next season

The fact that he enters the very dingy room in his mind that contains a straightjacket-ed and chained up Moriarty while yelling "control!" repeatedly is...it's something. And really?? Moriarty never felt pain?? Were you not on that rooftop with him when he pontificated about how lonesome he was in his life? How boring everyone he's ever met was? Yes, he had his machinations, but that only gets you so far.

Not to bring my "everything is about the Todorokis and especially Touya" into Sherlock, too. But this depiction of Moriarty in Sherlock's mind is so reminiscent of all the times post Dabi's Dance that someone in that family thinks about him and what he's doing at that moment. It's so much more unhinged than anything he's actually doing. And yes, Moriarty had his outbursts, but he wasn't like this all the time

But truly. They could have been friends. They could have been such good and cool FRIENDS. And Sherlock fucked that up by pretending to be in love with her, stringing her along, just to get to Magnussen.

The way John asks who Sherlock would be protecting by not revealing the name of the person who shot him AND AT THE SAME TIME, HE'S SITTING DOWN INTO HIS CHAIR THAT HAS VERY RECENTLY RETURNED TO 221B. It's a good moment

Maybe I'm delusional, but I believe there could have been a way to make this story line good, the Mary is an assassin/spy/whatever and it needs to be kept from John. Her confrontation with Sherlock in the fake building is good, but the immediate revelation that John was there the whole time sucks. There could have been so much more intrigue, if only things were stretched out more over the season instead of cramming it all into this one.

I love Mycroft's petulance

It is kind of funny how John is often perceived as the normal one, but he's surrounded himself by all this. Sherlock's not wrong when he says John's addicted to danger

The gut-wrenching "you are a client now. this is where you sit and talk, and this is where we sit and listen and decide if we want you or not" from John to Mary. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve it for lying to him from the moment they met, but GOD. DAMN.

"Your loss would break my heart" caused more of a reaction in Sherlock than "There ain't no me if there ain't no you" did in Sam. But that might be because the Winchesters talk and lie about how they feel about each other far more often than the Holmes boys ever would.

I forgot he drugs everyone at Christmas as part of a deal with Magnussen...wtf. Sherlock, I know you're not ACTUALLY going to turn over Mycroft's laptop (which he for some reason brought to Christmas dinner) to Magnussen moments after that heart to heart with him

The fact that neither Sherlock but especially John hasn't shot him yet.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE IT YOU JUST HAVE TO PRINT IT? Aren't Britain's libel and slander laws like...famously bonkers? Like, just incredibly intense? What a crazy thing to have this guy living and working in England who owns multiple newspapers say

We get a couple glimpses in this episode of Sherlock as a kid......not as effective as when we see the Winchesters as kids

Mmmmmm, Sherlock shooting Magnussen is why he's gotta go on that mission Mycroft mentioned earlier that would likely kill him in six months' time

This is truly when Sherlock should have ended. True, it would be sad to have John and Sherlock split up at the end of the series, but nothing that comes after this is good. Also, we could have ended on the threat of Moriarty coming back. I DO remember how the "did you miss me?" image flooded this site

I wish Moriarty had actually come back and not get ruined by the series finale. Then I could have the "if i had a nickel for every time I loved a character who announced they were back from the dead by taking over every screen in the country their story takes place in, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice" meme. But noooooooooooo, Moftiss didn't want me to have anything nice.

[allshadesblue]

This is a Succession essay. I genuinely think that most characters in television and films tend to be autistic/autistic coded, and I think this is by complete and total accident

Trying to make a character weird, or giving them issues picking up social cues, or what have you, say, extremely strong interests, it often speaks to autistic people and our experiences in a variety of ways

Kendall Roy is a big one for me, he stims in his car (episode one, rapping and hitting the chair in front of him in the car before his big day?), he's so genuine and cannot tell when everyone around him is making fun of him (L to the OG, singing a rap song he made up about his dad?), he gets emotionally and physically overwhelmed (too much birthday?), he has issues expressing his emotions and picking up social cues (his phone call with the bank, telling Polk to fuck off, where he tries to emulate his father and fails?)

There's this poignant scene where Kendall is calming down in the same way his clearly autistic son does. Both of them are overwhelmed by the family dinner, so they sit outside and play with Legos together, an act Rava, his ex wife, does not engage in. It's parallel play, they're sitting together and calming themselves down side by side, not necessarily playing together. This is very common amongst autistic people.

And Kendall, like many autistic people, wants to emulate those around him socially, so he can be liked the way he thinks his father is. Kendall often incorrectly assumes that if he mimics all those around him, copies their social skills, pretends like he fits in, people will finally see him the way he sees himself. And Kendall really is a good person. At least he tries to be, having that much wealth and power is always going to make you a bad person, especially when you don't take the steps to deconstruct these power structures. But Kendall wants to be a good person. He wants to do the right thing. He tries hard to be the involved father, the perfect son, the kind boss, the fantastic husband, the good friend, the caring brother, the greatest business man, he wants to be the most loved, the most loving, the person everyone likes and who fits in. But he can't navigate it quite right. He's understanding of how to grow Waystar Royco into a business that's successful in the internet age is actually quite spot on. His desire to create what he views as an inclusive environment, a respectful one, is genuine.

But Kendall cannot fit in no matter how hard he tries. And I don't think it's just because of his wealth, though it plays a factor. His siblings, in particular Shiv and Roman, especially Shiv, are considerably better socially. They, like many neurotypicals, can become social chameleons, changing how they interact and act to fit in with whatever crowd they're in. They're out of touch due to their wealth, certainly, but there's a difference. They socialize well in the wealthy circles they grew up in, they transfer these skills to other social circles, they socialize so well they can advance their career. Noticeably, they lie well, they can pick up on when most everyone is lying to them, they can navigate all of their respective spheres well.

Kendall cannot do these things really, when he tries he always falls flat. Even in out of touch, wealthy circles, he really cannot fit in. His inability to be the person he wants everyone to see him as is two fold. His wealth and abusive childhood is one dimension of it, he doesn't have good footing for where to start, so when he genuinely tries he falls flat on his face. But he's autistic, compounding these issues. It makes it much harder for him to actually understand what to do, how to do it, and his only guides through his life were wealthy people constantly working to undermine him, to cut him down. Shiv and Roman, not so much. They know what is the "right thing" and what is socially seem as the right things to do, and they can adapt their presentation to match that. Shiv knows it's socially acceptable to be a democrat, and so she is, though she isn't one. Kendall cannot, and though he tries to do the right things, and he tries to do them because he sees them as the right things, he cannot conceptualize a life other than his own, cannot fit in, and with no other guide but his father, cannot be the person he truly wants to be.

His attempts are genuine. He tries very hard to be an excellent father. He loves his children. He is by no means good at it. But he wants to be. And he makes greater strides than his father ever did, and in many ways for him this is a great effort. He is pained by how no one seems to like him, no matter what he does. There's this scene in the first season, where he looks at the falling stock price and tells his brother, "this is how much no one likes me." In season three, he tries to get people to like him by being self aware about how much they hate him, tries to let himself be made a mockery, because then maybe they'll want him. But he doesn't understand why they do. And it becomes a form of self harm, like maybe if he lets them hate him to his face, he'll understand why they do emotionally. Sometimes he understands objectively, but really he doesn't. And he self medicates to make it easier.

Kendall noticeably does drugs the most when he is struggling to fit in socially. Before therapy with his family, because he wants to fit in with the group of people he's with, wants to fit in back home. Also a very common autistic experience. It seemingly makes him likeable, makes him comfortable, lowers his inhibitions so that maybe he'll fit in, and maybe he'll get over his fears.

Kendall's struggles as an autistic person become Shakespearean in height due to the wealth and station of his life. It makes you wonder if one moment of his life were to have been changed. Say he doesn't get into the accident with the waiter, he'll escape the grasp of his father, and probably he'll have the means he always wanted to create the meaningful change he longs for. He stays committed to outing his father's negligence on the cruises. Something different, something new. Hell, even just a diagnosis, and I'd bet Kendall's life looks utterly different. It allows him, at the very least, a modicum of comfort and understanding of his life. Best case scenario, Kendall has the tools to navigate the world, and as such, can become the very good person he feels he ought to be.

Kendall Roy has autism. And autism is not tragic, but him having it in a world so hostile to him, without the knowledge of his autism, is.

[turretangel]

Actually I won't shut up about it, people should play The Zodiac Trial.

If you like visual novels, if you like death game/killing game scenarios, if you like a good mystery and some fun puzzles on the side, it's worth giving this game a shot!

It's $14.99 on Steam, which is a great deal, I finished it in ~19 hours and it had me enthralled the whole time. There are lots of endings to get, all of the main routes have unique outcomes so it isn't like you're only seeing tiny variations of the same thing.

There is a free demo as well, if you want to try it out!

More ramblings below, I'll keep it spoiler-free as possible.

It reminds me most of the Zero Escape series, 999 especially, with killing devices and code names and a bunch of seemingly-unrelated people made to play a killing game. It's very much its own thing, though, and if you like psychologically puzzling out characters, you'll love this. Each one has a well-fleshed-out personality and story, and the game evolves depending on the route, pushing different characters into circumstances where they have to decide whether to prioritize themselves over others.

For our cast (minor spoilers from the intro and vibes) we've got:

Token Girl Protagonist with a surprising amount of character who figures stuff out, sometimes, and other times dies horribly when you make the wrong choice (but it does nudge you gently about how you could've done something that led to a better path if you mess up and they aren't super long runs! )

Our government-assigned BFF who's smarter than us a good chunk of the time because it's his job. He deserves a hug, 10/10, very smart, does escape rooms in his free time and is also probably handsome. I, I think. I'm a lesbian who usually gets this wrong but I'm pretty sure he's hot?

My wife. Your wife. Everyone's wife. I'd die for her, I'd live for her, sunshine women who are strong enough to kick me into the sun are always a win

"There's no way that freaking TWINK is a COP" but in a "the reason there are no good cops is because the good ones don't last", but also "bro what the FUCK"

Girl boss extraordinaire who acts first and thinks never but sometimes you need that in a person

This Man Is Autistic (intrigued)

Large Tough Man with a mysterious past, our token strong-silent type

Cute girlie who... look, her animal says it all, idk what else I can say, but if she had to kill me she'd apologize the whole time and I'd forgive her

My therapist?????

Cocky (ha) himbo, who is both smart and outrageously stupid at times, we love to see it

My intuition says that this man would be a hit on tumblr for all the people who like sad wet scrunglies of a man. This man is pathetic but also endearing. He's halfheartedly trying his best. Kind of. He swears he will be soon, anyway.

I was so mad about her name when I first met her, but she's surprisingly smart and resourceful! She's doing her best, can't blame her for that.

I highly recommend not looking up spoilers to the true ending! The mystery is more fun to solve on your own, but it takes a good bit of thinking.

The downsides I noticed (because I won't review a game and then just not mention em!) for me were:

There are a few typos! If you're stuck on a certain puzzle with Ox, ignore the second iteration of the clue, it was accidentally repeated. (But there are no punishments for failing a puzzle!) But they aren't bad enough to ruin the game, and considering how much text there is in the game, with only 9 or so people making it, it's quite good

The art isn't insane, because it's a lower-budget visual novel. It didn't detract from my experience, personally, because the writing was really strong, but I know for some people it's a bigger deal.

Some of the mysteries to solve can be tricky! This was a plus for me, not a minus, but if you get truly stuck there are a few guides on Steam.

There's no in-game flowchart for which path leads to which ending. This is, however, a choices-matter game, so I'd recommend saving when you reach a choice, because there's a chance it'll branch off onto other paths. There are over 50 endings, but there are 12ish main routes.

Thank you to the skip seen dialogue button, I wish other VNs would have you! After a bit you can go to the main menu and the glowing exclamation mark will let you skip the intro and let you jump to the part that branches out.

Overall, it's a very fun game with more positive points than negative ones! I highly recommend it.

Do you ever just find a game and then realize basically nobody is talking about it but you want people to know it's actually really good despite looking lower budget cuz it's indie and not every creator is Toby Fox but the story made you a little insane