#fallenrocket

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I can't stop thinking about the Doctor's reaction at the end of "Dot and Bubble." That penny drop moment, the stunned laughter followed by the scream of futile anguish followed by the silent tears. Fantastically played by Ncuti Gatwa, and for me, it's a reaction that absolutely makes sense for this situation and this Doctor.

First of all, of course the Doctor wants to save them and gets desperate when they won't let him. Of course he does--that's just who the Doctor is. We've seen them save vile, self-serving humans before, we've seen them offer Sycorax and Rachnoss and Daleks a last chance. No matter how these people have treated him or what they think of him, he still wants to be able to save them.

I keep thinking about how his laughter gives way to a scream. That's very fitting for his Doctor in particular. For all of Fourteen's "rehab," it's clear that Fifteen still has his issues, and I've seen them in the moments where he shouldn't be smiling. The way he briskly tells Ruby that Gallifrey is gone, the way he seems to shrug off not knowing whether Susan was killed with the rest of the Time Lords. It makes a lot of sense to me that he would laugh before he would scream.

Then too, there's the laughter being in part due to his surprise. The Doctor knows they've been Black before, because Thirteen met the Fugitive Doctor and saw the hints of their pre-One past in the Matrix, but he doesn't have those actual memories of the experience of being Black. He's not used to walking around in this skin, with this face. I'm sure he noticed how rude and distrustful Lindy was to him, but he didn't catch why. Not until the end. And it's so dumb and hateful and pointless and absurd, and she's going to die because of it, so in that very first moment, what can he do but laugh?

Finally, I've also been thinking about Ruby crying for him, wanting to comfort the Doctor but knowing she can't make it better. Millie Gibson does a beautiful job as well, capturing Ruby's reaction to a tee without drawing focus from Ncuti's powerhouse performance.

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I love them so much for this. The ship comes through, not just in the big pivotal moments, but in dozens of little ones like this.

Rhys and I just delicately took care of each other in those moments. Throughout the shoot, we improvised little touches on each other’s shoulders, little tugging on each other’s sleeves. Some of it was even out of frame, but I do think it reads. - Taika Waititi (x)

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Mel's return to Doctor Who has made me so happy. She was never the most widely-embraced companion--she traveled with two different Doctors but wasn't the "main" companion for either of them, and over the years, it seems that a lot of fans consider her loud scream her most notable quality.

But in modern-day Who, she's arguably had the nicest reunion with the Doctor out of any classic series companion. Sarah Jane, Jo, and Tegan all had old hurts to deal with, and Ace hardly got to see the Doctor at all (neither did Tegan, for that matter.) But while tragedy gets thrown into Mel's personal life, she and the Doctor are nothing but good with each other.

In "The Giggle," they're both thrilled to see one another, taking a bit of time to catch up even in the middle of a global crisis. And when the Doctor's about to regenerate bigenerate, Donna isn't the only one at his side. Mel is right there too. Seeing her back this season, interacting with Fifteen, has been lovely.

I just...I love that for her, and Bonnie Langford. I love that I'm so excited every time she pops up. And especially in "The Legend of Ruby Sunday," I love that she's really there to do full-fledged companiony things, getting the lowdown on Susan Triad and helping the Doctor when he's spiraling over Col. Chidozie's death. It's been wonderful to see her get her due deference.

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I love how everybody at AFC Richmond treats Roy a bit like their own personal Oscar the Grouch. It's like, "Yeah, that's Roy--he's grumpy, it's fine." I like how they tease him, like when Ted exclaims, "You hear that? Roy said y'all did a great job!" and Beard pretends to faint. Or when Roy demands, "Does my face look like it's in the mood for shape-based jokes?", and Ted just grins sweetly and says, "No, Roy, it does not." Or when Ted's mom hears Roy yelling and thinks someone is in trouble, but Trent replies, "No, shouting is Roy's love language."

But at the same time, they're not not afraid of him, at least a little. I think of when Ted and Isaac are supposed to meet him over by his childhood flat, and they're joking about Roy's crankiness--Isaac calls him "24/7 hangry." But then they get a jumpscare when Ted texts Roy and they realize he's right in front of them. Or when Rebecca storms into the locker room after he skipped the press conference and everyone goes, "Oooooh!" like he's just been called to the principal's office. But then Roy turns and glares at them, and they all go dead silent.

It's such a fantastic dynamic. I love Roy, and I love how the whole Richmond family reacts to him.

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The thing about Shadow and Bone season 1 is that, while there are definitely changes, Alina's story plays out fairly similar to the book, and bringing in Nina and Matthias early pretty much just gives us their Six of Crows backstory in real time. But bringing in Kaz, Inej, and Jesper early gives us a storyline that's cut out of whole cloth. There are certain nods and touchstones that are critical to their duology--their famous “no mourners, no funerals” mantra, snatches of Inej’s backstory, hints towards Jesper's secret--but their actual plot is none of the things they get up to in Six of Crows.

Both stories involving them pulling an elaborate (foolhardy?) heist, yes. But they’re completely different heists in different countries, under different circumstances, with different complications, for different payouts.

Jesper expertly shooting all the volcra attacking the train on their journey through the Fold? Inej making a deliberate choice to take a life in order to save Kaz’s? Kaz facing off against Kirigan/the Darkling and living to tell about it? Milo the goat??? That's all Shadow and Bone.

But for all that, the show nails the characterizations for all three. Even with slight changes and certain things that don't get revealed until season 2, the writing and acting work together to bring these characters to life impeccably. Each is very specific and very true to who they are in the books, and that’s managed while taking basically none of the things they do and hardly anything they say in the books. In a way, it’s televised Crows fanfic, and the show has all three of them down cold. It drops them in a new situation but captures the sorts of things each of them would say and do, how they’d react, and how various developments would shake up the group dynamic. That takes talent, and the show deserves props for it.

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In college, the LGBTQ alliance I was in did one of those "privilege vs. marginalization" exercises. "If you spoke the same language at home and at school, take a step forward," "If the way your hair grows out of your head is considered 'unprofessional,' take a step back." That kind of thing.

One of the statements was, "If you can go down the street holding hands with your romantic partner, take a step forward. If you can't, take a step back." My aroace ass had no idea what do to. I knew I couldn't step forward, because there was never gonna be a romantic partner whose hand I could hold. But it didn't feel right to step back, because there wasn't a romantic partner whose hand I couldn't hold either.

In the privilege vs. marginalization activity, this was a statement that didn't seem to account for my existence, and I didn't know what to make of that.

The duality of "If you even imply that being aro or ace condemns someone to a sad and lonely life I will fucking fight you"

and

"being aro and ace is the most isolating thing I will ever experience"

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David Tennant's performance as Crowley is such a fascinating mix of intense and languid. He's often so focused, so intent, that he's practically brittle, electric with purpose as his careens through the city in the Bentley or races to avert disaster. Those fiery eyes, that clenched jaw. But in almost equal measure, he slouches and saunters, projecting such indifference that you start to wonder if the production crew had to pour him into that chair, that's how fluid he feels.

My favorite part of this is that we see the exact same two opposing qualities from him in the before-the-Beginning flashback, but as an angel, both look completely different on him. The intense side is pure joy and love, his enormous toothy grin as he ignites stars and elation radiates from him in waves. Meanwhile, the languid side is his relaxed unconcern, cheerfully shrugging off Aziraphale's worries as he considers questioning God's plan and "putting a note in the suggestion box." I love that flashback anyway, but when I noticed how Crowley's usual contradictions were filtered through an angelic lens, I could've eaten the whole scene up with a spoon.

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At the end of "The Devil's Chord," I figured the big musical number and the Abbey Road crosswalk making music were lingering aftereffects from the encounter with Maestro. It's like at the end of "The Giggle," where Fifteen was able to double the TARDIS because they were "still in a state of play" after defeating the Toymaker and could claim their prize according to the laws of his realm. Here, they're still in a state of music before everything goes back to normal.

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Rewatching season 2 of Ted Lasso, and I really loved how they play the "Keeley is turned on by vulnerability" subplot in episode 2. Obviously, the whole thing is great, with her masturbating to the press conference where Roy announced his retirement and broke down crying. (Side note: there's zero drama over the fact that she still masturbates while being in a happy relationship, you love to see it.) I love learning that Roy's kink is people doing it in the woods--"Because I could never be that free!" And the resolution, with Roy having Keeley put in her headphones to play the video while he goes down on her, is *chef's kiss*.

But what really stuck out to me this time is how they play the scene where Roy discovers that this is Keeley's kink. When he walks in on her masturbating, she panics and throws her phone across the room. And Roy picks it up, walks across the room, and hands it back to her, asking, "Show me."

You could play a similar storyline on dozens of shows, and all of them would have the SO looking at the video without permission, probably over their partner's protests. In a lot of them, the phone would probably still be in their partner's hand and the SO would get in their space and take it from them.

Hell, in a different context, this very show does something similar: Isaac discovers that Colin is gay when he takes Colin's phone, insisting that he's not kidding about everyone on the team deleting their saved nudes to protect against leaks.

But in episode 2, Keeley doesn't even have her phone. She threw it. It's across the room, and there's no way she could keep Roy from looking at it if he was determined enough. But he doesn't look without her permission. He's curious, sure, and he may be anticipating teasing her about it a bit, but he also points out, "I should know what gets you going." He gives it back to her, asks to see what she was looking at, and then lets her decide whether or not she's going to show him.

Such a small shift in how you'd normally see this kind of scene play out, but the difference is huge.

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This was my thought process as I scrolled through these pictures:

Wait, what are these?

OMG, are they doing a play together? What is it???

Oh man, could it be Rosencrantz & Guildenstern? These pictures are giving me Rosencrantz & Guildenstern vibes!

And then I saw the caption, and it was Rosencrantz & Guildenstern!!! My kingdom for a proshot recording!

Next thoughts:

OMG, but who’s playing whoooooo? I need to know!

The Merry-and-Pippin dynamic would lend itself to the assumption that Billy Boyd is playing Rosencrantz, but I feel like Dominic Monaghan is giving Rosencrantz in those pictures.

Must find out!

So then I looked it up and I was right! Dominic Monaghan as Rosencrantz, Billy Boyd as Guildenstern! Be still my nerdy LOTR/Tom Stoppard fangirl heart!

Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd in Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.

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Thinking about Ned Low, and thinking about "creative" killers in pop culture. The characters who need to torture or kill in increasingly inventive ways, who turn corpses or body parts into their "art." Thinking of various killers we see on Hannibal, Dexter, Sherlock, and I'm sure many more.

This is what Ned Low does, and it sucks. There's nothing truly creative or artful about him. His crew is bored and discontented as they go through the motions of his grand vision, and his big "symphony" is just his lame attempt to give purpose to a bunch of people screaming. He can sneer that Ed is a "lowborn" generic pirate (even though Ed "got it in one" re: his brother,) and he can call Stede an amateur, but his art is simply embarrassing.

What's more, it doesn't hold a candle to the wonder and beauty created by a ragtag group of misfits who made up a religion purely for the sake of having a big party. For Calypso's birthday, the crew invents traditions on the fly, everyone coming up with their own little twist on these timeless traditions that are only happening now for the very first time. They fill their ship with paper lanterns and pirate-themed bunting, and they fill the night with fireworks and dancing. Wee John serves drama with every brush stroke as Calypso the sea goddess holds court, while Izzy Hands sings a love song 200 years ahead of its time. Even Stede, the rube they tried to dupe into throwing this party, is fully aware of the con and doesn't care, because he's creating something too: he's turning poison into positivity.

This is art. Ned Low is just a sad, pretentious man grasping for importance.

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I love so much that the prison break on Narkina 5 isn't a deeply complex escape plan designed by a small group of highly-skilled individuals to get themselves out, but rather an intelligent, mostly low-tech plan to upset the whole apple cart and give everyone a chance to get out. I love that Cassian and his allies come up with the main pillars of it through careful observation, knowledge, and collaboration. I love that it's set into motion by unexpected variables--the imminent arrival of a new man on the floor, made more urgent by the reveal of what happened on level 2 and why. I love that they bring the whole of Room 5-2D into the plan and everyone takes part, including the new man who just got fried recently, is probably terrified, and isn't prepared for any of this. I love that they send guys to other rooms and up and down the stairs, confronting the guards and encouraging the other inmates to take up arms. I love that Kino's speech calls for them to help one another, and I love that, while the 5-2D guys are able to offer freedom to the rest of the prison, the other inmates still need to be the ones to take it.

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Did my Werewolf by Night rewatch for October, which just hammered home how much I love Jack Russell. We stan a hero who's surrounded by cynicism and ruthlessness but chooses to lead with optimism and kindness.

He's definitely one of the gentlest heroes in the MCU, in a cool contrast to how lethal he is as a werewolf. I love that he infiltrates a den of monster hunters to rescue Ted. I love that his first instinct is to help Elsa when she's hurt. And when he's exposed as a werewolf, I love that he pleads with his captors on their behalf, not his--“Just kill me as I am. Otherwise, there will be no mercy, I promise.” :chills:

And my god, the scene where he realizes that the hunters are going to force a transformation while he's caged with Elsa and starts frantically sniffing her in between instructing her on what to do once he turns:

JACK: I need to remember you.

ELSA: Does it work?

JACK: Once.

That single word was enough to make me want a Werewolf by Night trilogy/show/whatever Marvel can give me. (But let's do Midnight Sons too, please--I need to Jack meet Marc, Steven, and Jake!)

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Rewatching Andor now, and I'm being reminded all over again how incredible Diego Luna is here. He's an actor who really rewards your attention--this is such a non-showy performance, and he doesn't have many Big Moment Acting!!! scenes. (I think this is partly why he hasn't gotten as much award attention as he deserves. For me, his absolute best moments in season 1 come in "Narkina 5," where he spends most of the episode not speaking at all. How are you meant to put that in an Emmy reel?) And he's a very generous performer, leaving tons of room for all the other fantastic actors in the show to shine.

But when you really watch what he's doing, it's just amazing. All these hundreds of little choices in his line delivery, facial expressions, and body language, all adding up to make Cassian Andor. Everything he does just exudes Cassian. Absolutely masterful.

the powerhouse that is diego luna’s acting is just astounding. and never overshadowed by all the character actors who are doing completely stunning jobs acting their hearts out alongside him (the casting director is fucking AMAZING. no Ls whatsoever), but one thing natalie watson and austin walker pointed out in the AMCA podcast is that luna is in every single episode where almost no other actors in the show are, and he’s basically carrying the entire show, which in a show of this scale is… very impressive. a LOT of screen time is spent studying his face in close up shots and having the audience look at his reactions and he’s really doing an incredible job. so much of the narkina 5 arc is us watching andor watch what’s going on around him and it’s just perfect. most other actors would have a hard time being noticed or telling a story while in these intense moments with serkis or skarsgard but luna fucking carries it.

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Normally, I don’t like it when a protagonist is dropped into a new situation and immediately starts taking over. You know the type--they know better, do better, and don't listen to the naysayers who've been banging their heads against the wall all this time. It really annoys me.

But with Cassian Andor, he's somehow able to come in and shake things up in a way that genuinely works. On both Aldhani and Narkina 5, he arrives and quickly becomes indispensable.

On the Aldhani mission, Cassian really does know better in some respects--that's part of the point. He's thrown into a group of rebels with a lot of dedication and certain skills but not a wealth of experience, and his practical knowledge is crucial. Whether it's small details, like how to arrange themselves when posing as Imperial troops, or critical skills, like piloting the freighter to make their escape, he becomes a vital member of the team. However, he doesn't steamroll over everything the others do, and he acknowledges when their ideas/plans are strong, like timing the mission so they can use the Eye as cover.

(It also helps that, at this point, Cassian is more invested in his own survival than in the mission itself. When he puts his foot down and insists on piloting the freighter himself, it's not because he automatically thinks he's the best; it's because he's the only one with experience flying a craft like that, and he feels most comfortable putting his life in his hands rather than someone else's.)

Then there's Narkina 5. Again, Cassian doesn't charge in with a “shut up and listen to me” attitude, instantly superior to people who’ve been there much longer. Instead, he collaborates. It's not "Cassian Andor's prison escape plan"--it's an effort by a number of people, and he just does everything he can to help flesh it out and refine it.

So much of Narkina 5's structure is designed to divide the inmates, ensuring that they won't band together by instead pitting them against each other. The least productive table gets fried every single shift--someone's success is always someone else's loss. But Cassian forms relationships. At his work table, he’s a natural leader, doing extra work to help Ulaf and giving Taga the credit for a good idea. He shares observations and plans with inmates from other tables, and he never gives up on getting Kino to join their side--no matter how many times Kino tells him to get his mind off escape, he repeats, "How many guards on each level?" He rejects the Empire’s divisions and is working hard to help everyone, not just himself.

The strongest example of this comes in "One Way Out," when Cassian urges Kino to be the one to address the prisoners. He doesn't have to be the one in charge, out front. He doesn't have to be The Leader in order to lead. When something matters to him, he'll gladly work to make it happen, largely behind the scenes and without much credit, giving others the inspiration they need to step up.

If the balance had tipped just a little too far to the other side, Cassian could've been caught up in a trope that irritates me. But as it's written and performed, this quality is one of my favorite things about him. The Rebellion is going to be so lucky to have him.

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Shoutout to Maya's family in Echo, because every single one of them could sign. Now, it's true that none of them were especially great at it. I thought it was realistic that some of Skully's lines got really simplistic/stilted, because he didn't know how to say something in a more fluent manner. And when Henry was trying to interpret for Maya with the mortician, I liked the moment where she rattled off some medical jargon and he just shrugged.

But all of them signed, from Maya's grandparents, to her dad in flashbacks, to her uncle, to her cousins. I got the impression that Chula probably started the whole thing when Taloa was young, so Maya was born into an already-signing family. And that is huge. When I worked as an interpreter in a public school, I can't tell you how many kids I worked with who only had the chance to fully communicate with their parents on the few times a year they came to school for conferences/meetings and had access to an interpreter. 90% of Deaf people are born into hearing families, and so many of those families don't learn their Deaf child's language.

And keep in mind, Maya has been living in New York for 20 years. There's no mention of video chats with the family members she was still in touch with, so that means everyone kept up their signing for literal decades even though Maya wasn't around anymore.

I love that, besides the main benefit of being able to build a meaningful relationship with their granddaughter/daughter/niece/cousin, this knowledge helps them out in other ways. Skully covertly rags on Biscuits in front of customers in ASL when he's interfering at the pawn shop. Henry warns Bonnie off by discreetly signing at his side so Fisk's goons won't notice. Bonnie pretends to interpret for Maya with Fisk's goons but really communicates with her in secret so they can figure out how they're going to escape.