#fallenrocket

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I can't stop thinking about the Doctor's reaction at the end of "Dot and Bubble." That penny drop moment, the stunned laughter followed by the scream of futile anguish followed by the silent tears. Fantastically played by Ncuti Gatwa, and for me, it's a reaction that absolutely makes sense for this situation and this Doctor.

First of all, of course the Doctor wants to save them and gets desperate when they won't let him. Of course he does--that's just who the Doctor is. We've seen them save vile, self-serving humans before, we've seen them offer Sycorax and Rachnoss and Daleks a last chance. No matter how these people have treated him or what they think of him, he still wants to be able to save them.

I keep thinking about how his laughter gives way to a scream. That's very fitting for his Doctor in particular. For all of Fourteen's "rehab," it's clear that Fifteen still has his issues, and I've seen them in the moments where he shouldn't be smiling. The way he briskly tells Ruby that Gallifrey is gone, the way he seems to shrug off not knowing whether Susan was killed with the rest of the Time Lords. It makes a lot of sense to me that he would laugh before he would scream.

Then too, there's the laughter being in part due to his surprise. The Doctor knows they've been Black before, because Thirteen met the Fugitive Doctor and saw the hints of their pre-One past in the Matrix, but he doesn't have those actual memories of the experience of being Black. He's not used to walking around in this skin, with this face. I'm sure he noticed how rude and distrustful Lindy was to him, but he didn't catch why. Not until the end. And it's so dumb and hateful and pointless and absurd, and she's going to die because of it, so in that very first moment, what can he do but laugh?

Finally, I've also been thinking about Ruby crying for him, wanting to comfort the Doctor but knowing she can't make it better. Millie Gibson does a beautiful job as well, capturing Ruby's reaction to a tee without drawing focus from Ncuti's powerhouse performance.

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I love them so much for this. The ship comes through, not just in the big pivotal moments, but in dozens of little ones like this.

Rhys and I just delicately took care of each other in those moments. Throughout the shoot, we improvised little touches on each other’s shoulders, little tugging on each other’s sleeves. Some of it was even out of frame, but I do think it reads. - Taika Waititi (x)

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Mel's return to Doctor Who has made me so happy. She was never the most widely-embraced companion--she traveled with two different Doctors but wasn't the "main" companion for either of them, and over the years, it seems that a lot of fans consider her loud scream her most notable quality.

But in modern-day Who, she's arguably had the nicest reunion with the Doctor out of any classic series companion. Sarah Jane, Jo, and Tegan all had old hurts to deal with, and Ace hardly got to see the Doctor at all (neither did Tegan, for that matter.) But while tragedy gets thrown into Mel's personal life, she and the Doctor are nothing but good with each other.

In "The Giggle," they're both thrilled to see one another, taking a bit of time to catch up even in the middle of a global crisis. And when the Doctor's about to regenerate bigenerate, Donna isn't the only one at his side. Mel is right there too. Seeing her back this season, interacting with Fifteen, has been lovely.

I just...I love that for her, and Bonnie Langford. I love that I'm so excited every time she pops up. And especially in "The Legend of Ruby Sunday," I love that she's really there to do full-fledged companiony things, getting the lowdown on Susan Triad and helping the Doctor when he's spiraling over Col. Chidozie's death. It's been wonderful to see her get her due deference.

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It's a little thing, but I love that injuries matter on Andor. Cassian gets a blaster burn in "Reckoning," and he's still dealing with it two episodes later. He binds the wound immediately afterwards on Luthen's ship, and it's cleaned, bandaged, and checked/redressed in the camp on Aldhani. The other rebels immediately notice that he's injured and worry that it'll be a liability during the mission. People ask about his arm and how he's doing.

I realize part of it is that we're looking at a ramshackle fledgling operation without access to bacta tanks for quick healing, so instead we get patch-up jobs without pain relief because they need to ration their meds. But in a galaxy where we've seen people take a lightsaber to the gut and be up and walking the next day, it's good to see a show where even something as comparatively minor as Cassian getting shot in the arm can't just be shaken off as nothing.

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I love how everybody at AFC Richmond treats Roy a bit like their own personal Oscar the Grouch. It's like, "Yeah, that's Roy--he's grumpy, it's fine." I like how they tease him, like when Ted exclaims, "You hear that? Roy said y'all did a great job!" and Beard pretends to faint. Or when Roy demands, "Does my face look like it's in the mood for shape-based jokes?", and Ted just grins sweetly and says, "No, Roy, it does not." Or when Ted's mom hears Roy yelling and thinks someone is in trouble, but Trent replies, "No, shouting is Roy's love language."

But at the same time, they're not not afraid of him, at least a little. I think of when Ted and Isaac are supposed to meet him over by his childhood flat, and they're joking about Roy's crankiness--Isaac calls him "24/7 hangry." But then they get a jumpscare when Ted texts Roy and they realize he's right in front of them. Or when Rebecca storms into the locker room after he skipped the press conference and everyone goes, "Oooooh!" like he's just been called to the principal's office. But then Roy turns and glares at them, and they all go dead silent.

It's such a fantastic dynamic. I love Roy, and I love how the whole Richmond family reacts to him.

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In college, the LGBTQ alliance I was in did one of those "privilege vs. marginalization" exercises. "If you spoke the same language at home and at school, take a step forward," "If the way your hair grows out of your head is considered 'unprofessional,' take a step back." That kind of thing.

One of the statements was, "If you can go down the street holding hands with your romantic partner, take a step forward. If you can't, take a step back." My aroace ass had no idea what do to. I knew I couldn't step forward, because there was never gonna be a romantic partner whose hand I could hold. But it didn't feel right to step back, because there wasn't a romantic partner whose hand I couldn't hold either.

In the privilege vs. marginalization activity, this was a statement that didn't seem to account for my existence, and I didn't know what to make of that.

The duality of "If you even imply that being aro or ace condemns someone to a sad and lonely life I will fucking fight you"

and

"being aro and ace is the most isolating thing I will ever experience"

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My god, Cassian is just so young in season 1 of Andor. On this last rewatch, it kept jumping out at me everywhere. Especially at the start of the show, which makes sense--he goes through a pretty intense education over the course of the season and transforms before our eyes. But there's just so much in Cassian that comes from being young, traumatized, and desperate.

We see it in his moments of unabashed fear, like when he's stopped by the two corpos in the pilot, the first time he sees the TIE fighter fly past on Aldhani, or as the prison transport takes off for Narkina 5. Even when he tries to hide it, we can see it in his eyes, the parts of him that are still that scared kid from Kenari.

We see it in the chip he has on his shoulder, like the attitude he cops with Luthen in their first meeting: "I don't know you." He's not just guarded and distrustful, he kind of actively resents this guy trying to get too familiar with him. When he's scared, uncertain, or guilty, he tends to push others away, a product of having to fight most of his life and of losing many of the things and people he's cared about. I also think of him coldly telling Bix, "You won't have to worry about me anymore," at the end of their argument in "Announcement."

And yet, by the same token, he can also be surprisingly open and earnest in his affections. For me, this is most apparent in his scenes with Maarva in "Announcement." There, we see his naive optimism that the money he got from Aldhani can solve all their problems. He's so buoyant and hopeful and loving as he suggests running away, saying, "What do we need but the three of us?" Later in the episode, we see that same naivety when he insists, "We'll find a place they haven't ruined yet." But it crops up in other places too. On Aldhani, he chooses Clem's name as his pseudonym, even though he already realizes Luthen has a lot of intel on him and will probably recognize it--in that moment, his distrust of Luthen is outweighed by his desire to go into this dangerous mission carrying a small piece of his dad with him. Then there's that beautiful hug with Brasso in "Rix Road," especially those few extra beats past when you'd expect them to part. When he hugs Melshi in the previous episode, Cassian is rushed, on the brink of falling apart and not wanting Melshi to see. But with Brasso, Cassian needs that touch for a few extra seconds, and he's not afraid to hold on a little longer.

Most of Cassian's dumbest mistakes in the season are very youthful ones. He's an incredibly smart and observant guy, so he's not dumb very often, but when he is, it tends to come back to being young, traumatized, and desperate. We see this especially in the opening Ferrix arc: insisting on bringing an unsecured comm to his meeting with Luthen (oh my god, the way he bickers with B2EMO about them beforehand!) and trying to go back for the starpath unit when the shit hits the fan, even after Luthen repeatedly tells him to leave it. With the starpath unit, part of it is naivety--"What if it's just one guy left?"--and part of it is growing up poor and scrappy. This box represents more money than he's ever had at any one time, and he simply can't process the idea that his buyer would just leave it behind.

Finally, every now and then, Cassian has this subtle but impeccable "little shit" energy. We definitely see it when he messes with Timm in the pilot, deliberately goading him instead of trying to defuse the situation when he sees that Timm is jealous. It's a dumb, petty moment of cheap satisfaction that winds up with some intense blowback when Timm IDs him to Pre-Mor. And I love Cassian's refusal to give up on Kino on Narkina 5, always believing he can be brought into the fold no matter how many times Kino tells him to forget about it. It's a great reflection of how Cassian rejects the Empire's attempts to divide the inmates by pitting them against each other, but part of why he's able to keep at it is his annoying-kid tenacity. I love the scene where Kino brushes him off by saying how many shifts he has left and Cassian immediately responds with, "So...tell me what you know before you go."

It's simply wild to compare the Cassian we see in "Kassa" to the one in "Rix Road." He goes through so much in twelve episodes and really comes into his own, and it's fantastic to see some of the qualities he displays in Rogue One starting to peek through. He's already come so far in his character growth--I cannot wait to see how season 2 gets us from "Rix Road" to Rogue One!

Oh yeah, and Diego Luna is simply stunning. You can really feel how he traced Cassian's life backwards to this point, see how different the Cassian of "Kassa" is from the Cassian of Rogue One and yet still fully believe that this is the same character. All the little hints he drops, all the tiny moments where you can see Rogue One Cassian starting to gestate. It's such beautiful, brilliant work!

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The thing about Shadow and Bone season 1 is that, while there are definitely changes, Alina's story plays out fairly similar to the book, and bringing in Nina and Matthias early pretty much just gives us their Six of Crows backstory in real time. But bringing in Kaz, Inej, and Jesper early gives us a storyline that's cut out of whole cloth. There are certain nods and touchstones that are critical to their duology--their famous “no mourners, no funerals” mantra, snatches of Inej’s backstory, hints towards Jesper's secret--but their actual plot is none of the things they get up to in Six of Crows.

Both stories involving them pulling an elaborate (foolhardy?) heist, yes. But they’re completely different heists in different countries, under different circumstances, with different complications, for different payouts.

Jesper expertly shooting all the volcra attacking the train on their journey through the Fold? Inej making a deliberate choice to take a life in order to save Kaz’s? Kaz facing off against Kirigan/the Darkling and living to tell about it? Milo the goat??? That's all Shadow and Bone.

But for all that, the show nails the characterizations for all three. Even with slight changes and certain things that don't get revealed until season 2, the writing and acting work together to bring these characters to life impeccably. Each is very specific and very true to who they are in the books, and that’s managed while taking basically none of the things they do and hardly anything they say in the books. In a way, it’s televised Crows fanfic, and the show has all three of them down cold. It drops them in a new situation but captures the sorts of things each of them would say and do, how they’d react, and how various developments would shake up the group dynamic. That takes talent, and the show deserves props for it.

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David Tennant's performance as Crowley is such a fascinating mix of intense and languid. He's often so focused, so intent, that he's practically brittle, electric with purpose as his careens through the city in the Bentley or races to avert disaster. Those fiery eyes, that clenched jaw. But in almost equal measure, he slouches and saunters, projecting such indifference that you start to wonder if the production crew had to pour him into that chair, that's how fluid he feels.

My favorite part of this is that we see the exact same two opposing qualities from him in the before-the-Beginning flashback, but as an angel, both look completely different on him. The intense side is pure joy and love, his enormous toothy grin as he ignites stars and elation radiates from him in waves. Meanwhile, the languid side is his relaxed unconcern, cheerfully shrugging off Aziraphale's worries as he considers questioning God's plan and "putting a note in the suggestion box." I love that flashback anyway, but when I noticed how Crowley's usual contradictions were filtered through an angelic lens, I could've eaten the whole scene up with a spoon.

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This was my thought process as I scrolled through these pictures:

Wait, what are these?

OMG, are they doing a play together? What is it???

Oh man, could it be Rosencrantz & Guildenstern? These pictures are giving me Rosencrantz & Guildenstern vibes!

And then I saw the caption, and it was Rosencrantz & Guildenstern!!! My kingdom for a proshot recording!

Next thoughts:

OMG, but who’s playing whoooooo? I need to know!

The Merry-and-Pippin dynamic would lend itself to the assumption that Billy Boyd is playing Rosencrantz, but I feel like Dominic Monaghan is giving Rosencrantz in those pictures.

Must find out!

So then I looked it up and I was right! Dominic Monaghan as Rosencrantz, Billy Boyd as Guildenstern! Be still my nerdy LOTR/Tom Stoppard fangirl heart!

Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd in Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.

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At the end of "The Devil's Chord," I figured the big musical number and the Abbey Road crosswalk making music were lingering aftereffects from the encounter with Maestro. It's like at the end of "The Giggle," where Fifteen was able to double the TARDIS because they were "still in a state of play" after defeating the Toymaker and could claim their prize according to the laws of his realm. Here, they're still in a state of music before everything goes back to normal.

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Rewatching season 2 of Ted Lasso, and I really loved how they play the "Keeley is turned on by vulnerability" subplot in episode 2. Obviously, the whole thing is great, with her masturbating to the press conference where Roy announced his retirement and broke down crying. (Side note: there's zero drama over the fact that she still masturbates while being in a happy relationship, you love to see it.) I love learning that Roy's kink is people doing it in the woods--"Because I could never be that free!" And the resolution, with Roy having Keeley put in her headphones to play the video while he goes down on her, is *chef's kiss*.

But what really stuck out to me this time is how they play the scene where Roy discovers that this is Keeley's kink. When he walks in on her masturbating, she panics and throws her phone across the room. And Roy picks it up, walks across the room, and hands it back to her, asking, "Show me."

You could play a similar storyline on dozens of shows, and all of them would have the SO looking at the video without permission, probably over their partner's protests. In a lot of them, the phone would probably still be in their partner's hand and the SO would get in their space and take it from them.

Hell, in a different context, this very show does something similar: Isaac discovers that Colin is gay when he takes Colin's phone, insisting that he's not kidding about everyone on the team deleting their saved nudes to protect against leaks.

But in episode 2, Keeley doesn't even have her phone. She threw it. It's across the room, and there's no way she could keep Roy from looking at it if he was determined enough. But he doesn't look without her permission. He's curious, sure, and he may be anticipating teasing her about it a bit, but he also points out, "I should know what gets you going." He gives it back to her, asks to see what she was looking at, and then lets her decide whether or not she's going to show him.

Such a small shift in how you'd normally see this kind of scene play out, but the difference is huge.

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Thinking about Ned Low, and thinking about "creative" killers in pop culture. The characters who need to torture or kill in increasingly inventive ways, who turn corpses or body parts into their "art." Thinking of various killers we see on Hannibal, Dexter, Sherlock, and I'm sure many more.

This is what Ned Low does, and it sucks. There's nothing truly creative or artful about him. His crew is bored and discontented as they go through the motions of his grand vision, and his big "symphony" is just his lame attempt to give purpose to a bunch of people screaming. He can sneer that Ed is a "lowborn" generic pirate (even though Ed "got it in one" re: his brother,) and he can call Stede an amateur, but his art is simply embarrassing.

What's more, it doesn't hold a candle to the wonder and beauty created by a ragtag group of misfits who made up a religion purely for the sake of having a big party. For Calypso's birthday, the crew invents traditions on the fly, everyone coming up with their own little twist on these timeless traditions that are only happening now for the very first time. They fill their ship with paper lanterns and pirate-themed bunting, and they fill the night with fireworks and dancing. Wee John serves drama with every brush stroke as Calypso the sea goddess holds court, while Izzy Hands sings a love song 200 years ahead of its time. Even Stede, the rube they tried to dupe into throwing this party, is fully aware of the con and doesn't care, because he's creating something too: he's turning poison into positivity.

This is art. Ned Low is just a sad, pretentious man grasping for importance.

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Rewatching Andor now, and I'm being reminded all over again how incredible Diego Luna is here. He's an actor who really rewards your attention--this is such a non-showy performance, and he doesn't have many Big Moment Acting!!! scenes. (I think this is partly why he hasn't gotten as much award attention as he deserves. For me, his absolute best moments in season 1 come in "Narkina 5," where he spends most of the episode not speaking at all. How are you meant to put that in an Emmy reel?) And he's a very generous performer, leaving tons of room for all the other fantastic actors in the show to shine.

But when you really watch what he's doing, it's just amazing. All these hundreds of little choices in his line delivery, facial expressions, and body language, all adding up to make Cassian Andor. Everything he does just exudes Cassian. Absolutely masterful.

the powerhouse that is diego luna’s acting is just astounding. and never overshadowed by all the character actors who are doing completely stunning jobs acting their hearts out alongside him (the casting director is fucking AMAZING. no Ls whatsoever), but one thing natalie watson and austin walker pointed out in the AMCA podcast is that luna is in every single episode where almost no other actors in the show are, and he’s basically carrying the entire show, which in a show of this scale is… very impressive. a LOT of screen time is spent studying his face in close up shots and having the audience look at his reactions and he’s really doing an incredible job. so much of the narkina 5 arc is us watching andor watch what’s going on around him and it’s just perfect. most other actors would have a hard time being noticed or telling a story while in these intense moments with serkis or skarsgard but luna fucking carries it.

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Janine ducking her head and giving the camera an adorably smitten smile as she proudly murmurs, "He knows so many different smoothie shops." Stop it, they're too cute! :love:

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I love so much that the prison break on Narkina 5 isn't a deeply complex escape plan designed by a small group of highly-skilled individuals to get themselves out, but rather an intelligent, mostly low-tech plan to upset the whole apple cart and give everyone a chance to get out. I love that Cassian and his allies come up with the main pillars of it through careful observation, knowledge, and collaboration. I love that it's set into motion by unexpected variables--the imminent arrival of a new man on the floor, made more urgent by the reveal of what happened on level 2 and why. I love that they bring the whole of Room 5-2D into the plan and everyone takes part, including the new man who just got fried recently, is probably terrified, and isn't prepared for any of this. I love that they send guys to other rooms and up and down the stairs, confronting the guards and encouraging the other inmates to take up arms. I love that Kino's speech calls for them to help one another, and I love that, while the 5-2D guys are able to offer freedom to the rest of the prison, the other inmates still need to be the ones to take it.