#weightrestoration

[heart-of-a-wildflower]

Advice

Is it common to feel like you’re recovering and gaining way too fast and by your own choice no matter what the reality is? I feel like a dog being dragged down the street digging its paws into the ground even though in reality I’ve pretty much made no progress and my weight and blood results have....got worse? 

But I’ll think ‘I only do X once a day when I used to 5 times’ ‘I don’t feel anxious enough about eating Y like I used to’ ‘I’ll allow myself a different variety of Z now so I’m fine’.

I get to the point everyday where I look at myself and think I’ve come on leaps and bounds, am exaggerating how bad things are, I’m almost recovered and weight restored and don’t need help? Oh anorexia you pile of poo

[depressariums]

new nurse today

i decided not to let them weigh me. or have i decided? idk. i ate something (two cheestrings) and drank a cup of tea and now i hate myself. To make the most of this appt i should bring them at least a log of my food but i have been coming up with reasons not to do that all morning. feel really really stressed out and uncreative. I just want to restrict until I feel better. Just want the noise in my head to calm down. 

I promised the last medic I saw that I’d stop the drinking sessions as he called them, but I couldn’t even do that. Been drinking every day since the weekend which is sending my weight mad again. Honestly I am so anxious about meeting a new nurse and the first fucking thing we have to do is BMI. I just feel like it’s not helping me. I’ve made peace with this extra kilo or so, fine. I still fit into my small clothes and I feel a lot less crazy and tired. But why doesn’t it feel sufficient? Why does that imposter/fraud thing kick in so hard? Why can’t I just be happy for myself, congratulate myself on getting better? I sometimes see cis boys in recovery treat it like a sport. I wonder what it must be like, to just ‘go for it’ and leave the illness behind, to even get a bit competitive in recovery. I sometimes really feel like I’m beating the illness, but most of the time I feel like it’s me who gets beat. And when I let myself feel those feelings - not just think about the situation and make judgements/plans - when I really feel them it hurts so fucking bad. My hands start shaking and I *cannot* tolerate the distress. The SSRIs aren’t making enough of a difference, insomnia is still a huge problem, I’m still picking my skin.. when will all this end? Will I get there today and be repeatedly patronised again? I am so fucking ashamed and upset and I can’t do this anymore I can’t I can’t I can’t. 

[theconflictedrecovery-blog]

She is a poisoned bi*ch, NOT you #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edrecoveryfamily #adutswithed #edrecoverycommunity #edrecoveryjourney #anarecovery #anawarrior #anafighter #eatingdisorderawareness #ana #weightgainjourney #mentalhealthawareness #adultswithanorexia #healthymindhealthybody #anorexiarecovery #realrecovery #mentalhealth #orthorexiarecovery #fighted #orthorexia #underweight #recovery #weightrestoration #disorderedeating #anorexia #noana #prorecovery #beatana #edfree

[oh-misery-blog]

Hate my legs but it’s summer and I hate myself anyway

[healthtarget]

One reason I’ve been able to find success throughout my weight loss journey is because I don’t restrict myself from good food/drinks and still have a social life. You CAN still have a life while being on your weight loss journey. It doesn’t have to be so “go hard, go home” all the time, like some say it has to be. Consistency is key, and if I were to sacrifice the things I enjoyed, it would be very difficult to be successful. It’s all about moderation. 80%ish of the time I am eating nutrient dense, more whole foods and the other times I am enjoying my life with the food and drinks I have, guilt free. Balance is huge and it is what will fuel you to stay consistent. It will help make your weight loss/fitness journey be more like something you WANT to do rather than something you HAVE to do. Tell yourself, “I WANT, to go to the gym,” not “I HAVE to go to the gym.” Even if you don’t want to, it will still help a bit, I’m serious… It’s a lifestyle change. Mindset is everything. Once you reach this point you will become unstoppable. “Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” These small steps you take, will build into something big. Do not give up and do not lose hope. You are capable of so much more than you think. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . credit- emmaa.getsfit . . #weightlossmindset #wannaloseweight #slimmingworldbloggers #loseweightjourney #bodyrecomp #weighttransformation #sustainableweightloss #weightrestored #weightlossforwomen #veganweightloss #wwsupport #bodytransformation #extremeweightloss #wlscommunity #smlimingworldlife #fitinspiration #healthtarget #weightlossusa #usa (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cdid1lXrjio/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[hungry-for-happiness]

I was almost there once, I cant get there again.  I probably put on 40+ lbs my first time around in anorexia recovery.  All i did was eat.  After all, thats what everyone told me to do.  My grandmother passed away and I promised her I would eat, and I did.  I went through extreme hunger, that lasted through the entire weight restoration process.  I ignored the mirrors, got rid of my skinny clothes, and kept myself busy.  I thought, the busier I was, the easier it would be to eat and not have time to think about the amount, time, calories, etc.  And it worked.  The ed thoughts by no means went away entirely but they were significantly suppressed as I gained more weight.  I was hanging out with friends again, going out to eat, being spontaneous, eating pizza, drinking after a full days worth of food, and growing up all at the same time.  I want to get back there.  I remember feeling the ed thoughts coming back, creeping slowly but surely back into my life.  I am not sure what the trigger was, maybe the celiac disease diagnosis or another broken heart, either way, I was falling into a relapse again.  Now I am in quasi recovery.  I am not truly living.  I want more, I want my life back.  I have been dealing with this for 7 years now, wasted 7 years of my life that I will never get back.  I will be using this blog to hold myself accountable.  Its time for me to get rid of this mental illness that is holding me back from everything.  I am ready to commit.

[pursuit---of---perfection]

The hardest part about being ~weight restored~

Is that, on the outside, the years and years I spent starving, purging, exercising until feeling faint... are gone. There’s nothing left to show for that but tear-stained diary entries and organ damage. Almost as if it was all for nothing....

[this-is-anorexia]

Thank you Ana (24)

For the new diagnosis of osteopenia. You made me think I was losing fat. I wasn't. I was losing bone.

[beccaakirkland]

Today gets a no from me... 🙄 ✨ #sendhelp #no #tuesdayfeels #tuesdayfeelslikemonday #sleepdeprived #health #wellbeing #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #edawareness #edrecovery #recovery #mentalhealth #idiot #pillowfightwithmyself #imnothere #weightrestoration #therapyday #weighday

[queenbeeofibd]

The prognosis you believe to be true is stronger than the diagnosis you’re given - shared from @hannahdawn_fitness #recovery #crohns #ulcerativecolitis #nocolonstillrollin #kcmo #colectomy #ileostomy #cdiff #stlukeshospital #surgery #scars #scarsarebeautiful #ostomy #ostomates #ibdwarrior #weightrestored #beforeandafter #results #kansascity #personaltrainer — view on Instagram https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/vp/46d26d5cb1b111c146fc90f2eb78c59b/5B7AD57E/t51.2885-15/s640x640/sh0.08/e35/30829545_166470457351959_6299236681149054976_n.jpg

[heart-of-a-wildflower]

I’ve been really struggling to have snacks because I ‘shouldn’t eat between meals’ but that’s fucking stupid because everyone snacks so of course I went and bought myself some 💪🏻Also first time I’ve had a quest bar and it was pretty nice 👍🏻

[depressariums]

nurse shit

I had an appointment with liaison nurse today after a 2 week break. It was hard, stepping back on the scale. I had a big ‘recovery win’ this morning - I ate breakfast and didn't restrict fluids before weigh in. I explained that I had a tough week, that last week I kinda let everything go to shit and low-restricted for the first time in forever, but this week I pulled myself out. Back to meal plan, ish. But in her charts my weight is the same as when we last saw each other. Do you not trust the figures? No. Yes. I am devastated. I waste a lot of our time quizzing her on my appearance. I try to get her to admit it’s all really not that bad, to get her to tell me what I won’t dare tell myself. That I’m not critical, and therefore not worrying, a drain on their resources, a wilful little brat, fine. She doesn’t quite cave but after I push and pull she finally says something that triggers me; it hits me like a drug of choice. Give me more reasons to fuck with my food because I am running out. Make me feel like a fraud so I can indulge my illness another week, another day. Tell me I’m not in danger so I edge closer and closer to it. I’m sorry mother, I’m sorry god.

[theconflictedrecovery-blog]

Try to focus on the bigger picture. In recovery, there is so much more which counts as an indicator of health and progress other than your height to weight ratio. A healthy BMI DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU THAT ARE RECOVERED #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edrecoveryfamily #adutswithed #edrecoverycommunity #edrecoveryjourney #anarecovery #anawarrior #anafighter #eatingdisorderawareness #ana #weightgainjourney #weightgain #extremehunger #healthymindhealthybody #anorexiarecovery #realrecovery #mentalhealth #orthorexiarecovery #fighted #orthorexia #ednosrecovery #recovery #weightrestoration #disorderedeating #anorexia eeating #noana #prorecovery #beatana #edfree

[mydetoxformula-blog]

💪Lift weights three times per week 💪 You don't need to exercise to lose weight on this plan, but it will have extra benefits. . . By lifting weights, you will burn lots of calories and prevent your metabolism from slowing down, which is a common side effect of #losingweight . . Studies on low carb diets show that you can gain a bit of muscle while losing significant amounts of #bodyfat . . Try going to the gym three to four times a week to lift weights. If you're new to the gym, ask a #trainer for some advice. . . If lifting weights is not an option for you, doing some cardio workouts like walking, jogging, running, cycling, or swimming will suffice. Both #cardio and #weightlifting can help with #weightloss . . #weightlift #weightgainjourney #weightrestored #fitnessfighters #fitnesstipsforwomen #bodyweightworkoutsonly #womensuitsfashion #mydetoxformula #fitnesstipsforwomen #womenbodytransformation #womenbodyshapers #bodyfitnessgym✅ #womenbodysuits https://www.instagram.com/p/B-enb0kj7eE/?igshid=1o783yaxiioez

[kiaramanna-blog]

“No one else can heal you the way you heal yourself. That is your own special magic”~ Pavana 🖤 _ Happy to declare that I am hump restored and I can now celebrate humpday 💛 Have a beautiful day everyone and remember only you can save yourself from your own mind * No one else 🌸 . . . . . #transformationtuesday#humpday#sunsoutbumsout#beforeandafter#mybodyisamazing#saythankswithkauai#youcan#edwarrior#anarecovery#instaquote#mystory#bodythatyogabuilt#weightrestored#recoveryisworthit#youareenough#findingbalance#toughjourney#southafricanblogger#mentalhealthblogger#fightforyourself#youarenotalone#eatingdisorderawareness#edrelapse#youareworthy#beyourownhero (at Pretoria, South Africa)

[r0byates]

Updated selfie time...back up to the nine and a half stone mark. Half a stone regained since January. Can't decide if I prefer my face a little fuller or how it was before. Some have said I look less 'gaunt' or 'drawn' now...juries out for me on that one! #selfie #yesiveusedafilter #backgarden #haircut #dayoff #dayoffwork #like4like #likeforlike #weightregain #weightrestored #takenwithmyiphone