#we need some positivity rn
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anyways tell me something good about your day or week i saw a deer yesterday when i took my dog for a walk
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Appreciation post for people in the TMNT fandom, literally anyone
YOU!!
YES, YOU!!!
YOU'RE RAD AS HELL AND YOU MAKE THE SPACE BETTER!!
Doesn't matter if you make art, fics, are an rp account, a system, just here to hang out, or anything else i can't think of at the moment
YOU ARE THE COOLEST PEOPLE AND THIS FANDOM IS FANTASTIC AND I LOVE BEING HERE BECAUSE OF Y'ALL!!
aight I'm gonna go sleep b4 i get embarrassed and delete this. have a great day or night, wherever you are <3
#ofc this doesn’t include the people who make the DNI list but we don't need to think about them rn#honestly it's almost 3 am and i am feeling like absolute garbage#just pure wallflower depression#nothing new dw#so i hope that putting some sugary positivity into the void reaches someone and makes them feel nice#or better depending on circumstance#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#tmnt 2012#rottmnt#tmnt 2003#tmnt 1987#tottmnt#tmnt bayverse#tmnt fandom#chatting over tea
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Providing Support Smiles!
#feel like rn we need some positivity where we can get it#hope Maize and i can make some folks smile#he will always remain silly that's a promise#maize the snake#smiley maize#reptiblr#corn snake#snake
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it’s crazy how much having a safe place to be yourself and express your identity and personality and interests, both online and irl, can change your will to live. honestly.
#i came out to my fav professor/mentor today#it was kind of impulsive but idk#she’s just made me feel so safe and supported and cared ab#that honestly all i wanted to do was tell her#and hear what my new chosen name sounds like when she says it. idk.#anyway she was So incredibly receptive and understanding and supportive#like she said things i needed to hear that i didn’t even know i needed to hear#at one point she essentially reassured me that she doesn’t and won’t ever love me any less as a boy#and she immediately wanted to call me by my chosen name and use my preferred pronouns#and she kept telling me too that there’s no pressure or need to stress and that if i ever wanna adjust the name or pronouns i can#and that gender isn’t a fixed thing ofc#she told me that she’s proud of me too#god i’m so luckyyyy dude#i feel so loved and cared about#also i said in an email recently that i was looking for a part time job (like totally as a separate thing i mentioned bc of scheduling stuff#and totally unprompted today#she started talking to me about getting a paid position for me set up with some grant money ig??#which we were already tentatively planning on doing next semester#but bc she saw me say that she’s trying to get it set up now 🥺🥺#AGH i kinda love my life rn#but i’m so terrified to and im even more afraid to admit that#anyway so sorry this is an excessive amount of tags#silas speaks#vent#trans#transmasc#trans masc#transgender#queer#lgbtq+
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Without spoilers, I NEED new one piece live action fans to know one thing: if y'all are already in love with the first 5 straw hats, you are NOT ready for season 2…
#honourable mentions r also shanks buggy mihawk alvida koby helmeppo etc#but u get my point.#no spoilers but of the casting directors nailed everyone this well in East Blue Saga#then y'all know the characters we r getting next season r about to be fine as fuckkk#that's if we get a season 2 with the strike rn but I'm remaining positive that Netflix is gonna grow some balls and pay their writers#and actors#they r sitting on a huge money making show that has a source material that could land them several years WITH a huge#pre-existing fanbase#the show has taken off in only 2 weeks#reaching netflix’s top 10#they need to get their shit together rn#one piece#one piece live action#opla#Netflix#Netflix one piece
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Got a sticker yay pls fellow Americans pls for the love of god go out and vote
#pic#personal#nonfunctional rn but i will get my ass up and vote thats for sure#its awful tho more than half the positions only had rep candidates.. had to do write ins#honestly highkey scared esp bc ppl are talking abt some green party revolution that doesnt exist#like sorry id love to not vote for the centrist right dems either its awful but#unless u can convince every superdelegate to vote green on election night to even have a chance#like pls i hate kamala too but trump will take away our rights to even fight back#the govs been so useless these 4 yrs partially bc trump destabilized it so bad#like the Supreme court gave him presidential immunity that might take yrs to be resolved#it was just this year. him getting in office only seals the deal for everyone involved#ig part of it im seeing a lot of blk nondems are getting berated for voting blue and ppl are weaponizing the genocide#which cruel firstly. secondly trump is the scariest option hes ten toes down on israel.#why would u even chance wasting ur vote against the literal white supremacist he would only further the destruction substantially#like im sorry i just. i need to see a free palestine this is the best chance#unfortunately this country is sick to its core and biden is quite literally older than israels inception#so while its truly horrific its expected and the only thing we can do is mitigate it#and as someone who lives in ga. theres too many trump vance signs everywhere I just cant#going back to my depression hole good luck yall
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Literally just had to pay $500 for my cats vet visit ($500 that I don’t even have) I’m so stressed and there’s no guarantee that he’s even going to be okay I just have to wait and see
#We get his blood results tomorrow but I’m scared they’ll tell us something’s really wrong with him#they diagnosed him with a respiratory infection so that can either get better or really really bad#I’ve been crying since I got home bc I don’t know what I’m going to do and how I’m going to pay for his follow up visit next Friday#and Im pretty sure it was my sister who got him sick bc she literally tested positive for covid the day after she visited us#I’m so pissed and hurt and just UGH I want everything to be okay#send me some positive vibes bc I really need them rn
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i'm a bit too tired to put together an appropriately coherent argument right now, but i feel the need to speak on the 'vote blue no matter who' thing because it keeps coming up on my dash and i'm fucking tired of it.
stop trying to beg a system to get better when that system was designed to hold power over you, when it benefits from staying as is, when it wants to keep you down and on a leash. You are voting for the fucking leash man, not the person holding it. You know why negotiations for a ceasefire have been falling flat? Because Israel never cared about morals--there's no use in begging the colonial entity to have some conscience because we wouldn't fucking be here right now if they could be talked out of genocide. If there are train tracks that both go through hospitals, you don't fucking wonder which hospital has less people in it, you wonder who the fuck designed the damn tracks to go through a hospital! And then you fucking redesign them so that shit doesn't happen! You don't hire the same guy who built the tracks to do it again either because who knows if he's gonna just build them through more hospitals--you rip those rails up yourself, got it?
#i get extremely pissy when people get all high and mighty over voting#i was in middle school when trump got elected and had enough sense to know this country was bullshit from that point on#stop acting like voting is some absolute. you are making more dichotomies#and we all know how the two party system ended up#trolley problem metaphor bad b/c thats not the point of the exercise but im using it anyway b/c im tired rn#and dont 'oh but the politicians wont support reforming the electoral college--' THATS THE POINT#IF WE ALL KNOW IT IS BAD AND THAT THE SYSTEM NEEDS TO BE REPLACED WHY ASK THE PEOPLE OF THE SYSTEM TO CHANGE IT??#YOU KNOW WHY THOSE PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT IT CHANGED ARE THERE?? BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO CHANGE IT#politics#election 2024#free palestine#'lesser of two evils' my ass. we have like. more than two positions and many of which are way less evil#people who act like they dont have a choice are just trying to absolve themselves of responsibility#im against utilitarianism k? you have to care for yourself to help others for longer. dont dump everything you have and die#but also. some of yall are fucking pathetic for never speaking out and acting helpless as if palestinians arent literally dying#you cant have it worse than that. please shut the fuck up
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I've kinda been existing in the realm of "everyone I know is going to die, many sooner than I expect" for the past few years. Considering. Ykno. But I don't register that's not the norm most of the time. I lived 22 years of my life not experiencing proper grief, after all. Only a few people I barely knew had died. No one I was ever close with.
One of the first things my new therapist said when greeting me (after having reviewed the preliminary questionnaire I filled out) was something about how sorry she was at my unimaginable loss. And I just had a moment of like. Huh. No, it really Isn't normal to lose 6 members of my family and 2 cats in the span of 5 years. No, that isn't normal at all.
I hope I don't have to experience any more unexpected losses anytime soon. I'd like to have faith in people's permanence in my life again.
#speculation nation#negative/#kinda. ya kno.#i think my dad's death really was so very traumatic for me actually.#barely more than a day's warning. even he didnt know he was dying.#if someone can die so abruptly like that. someone who was the 2nd most important person in my life.#well. it certainly creates some doubts and fears.#in the end. im just doing my best to not join them just yet. we dont need another generation's loss in such short a time.#so im taking care of my health. going to therapy. getting new glasses. gonna get a fibro diagnosis.#finishing my degree. eating healthily (kind of). staying away from alcohol.#i need to exercise more. ill start going on bike rides again. soon.#the grief is immense and unimaginable. and i am a very different person than i was even just a year ago.#but theres something that such loss does offer: perspective.#time is not infinite. the march of death comes for us all. some sooner than others.#so im trying to do my best to live my life to the fullest. taking measures ive been avoiding for years.#ive had some hiccups. it's certainly not easy to stay positive rn.#but im trying. and ive made a lot of progress already. & thats what matters in the end.
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okay I've been completely obsessed with Movements new album and I'm about to make it everyone's problem
#for some reason it's exactly the kind of music i needed to listen to rn#there's love and yearning and anger and more importantly - positivity#also most energetic album so far imo#i'm loving this new era of theirs#Patrick inspires me#but especially the album gives me this vibe#like it's time to move on#and regardless of what we are all going through rn#we are all gonna make it#i love this band sm#movements#ruckus!#txt
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anyone have any recs for EU Star Wars books/comics? i want to get more into it!
or any comic recs? open to new comics too if they dont veer jnto anything post Mando Season 2
#star wars#i officially decided disney star wars is fanfic to me#their Avengers Marvel Star Wars universe is so embarrassing and disrespectful#the only show im good with rn is Andor bc it wasnt made by Filoni and Favreau#and we all know the sequels were awful#Deborah Chow has my respect too#she had vision#and i loved her take on obi ani#but the show had faults#i need some positive star wars stuff in my life after mando was shot dead by favloni and bo katan (the worst mandalorian to ever exist)
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😵💫😵💫😵💫
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
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If you've been wondering about us, we have been offline for the past few days and will continue to be offline for the next little bit. The medical system is continuing to be a royal pain in our ass, and trust us, you don't really want to see us doing this whole "posting" thing before everything clears up - that would be bad for both us and you.
#we speak#we are having to jump through hoops to get our meds and people are being dumb about it. this is about all that we're gonna say on the matte#on the positive side of things we finally got around to taking care of a good chunk of our depression era wardrobe#and have been wandering about thrift stores and fabric discount racks like some sort of roving clothing moth larvae#we've got things to do with our hands which will keep us busier than Internet Stuff could which is kind of what we need rn#we might return with hand embroidery and hand sewing if we feel like it#a lot of our hobbies tend to sort of rotate to keep us from getting stuck in a rut which is kind of what you see here#we will be back! just gotta handle stuff first
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"That's not how systems work. You're taking this too far. You don't know what its like to feel so out of control, to have memory blackouts, to wake up years later, to have someone in your system grieve someone they didn't know was dead."
Bec. Becayse... hecause i didnt talk about experiencing it? Or. Because i said that i like my system or that i have a majority positive experiences over negative ones?
Because i did. I absolutely have been thru every single one of these things and I've had multiple people talk down to me as if I'm stupid and perpetuating false information, or just simply being super disrespectful. I never assume, i never make blanket statements, and i go forward knowing that everyone collectively is new to studying this stuff in a modern way, though its been around for a while.
All i want is to demedicalize a part of the community (because OBVIOUSLY some will have need for the medical part) and be honest about myself, and listen to others being honest about THEMSELVES.
Systems are. Extraordinary. Every single one of them, and every individual within them. Talk about your experiences, be annoying. Talk too much. Talk only about the good. Talk about how you adore them. Talk about the bad. Talk about any part of it you deem important even if others think its silly, or cringe, or wrong or bad or stupid or anything else. Whatever YOU think of it, it must be.
I promise you aren't the only system experiencing whatever it is you're experiencing and that there is a community for you. Find the people who will listen, and speak.
#system babbles#mild rant?#idk im vaguing again but like. fuck off this is literally my tumblr blog thats what we do here.#we diary post.#im angry still bc im literally going thru some of this system stuff rn like being a system is so fucking hard and their words are ringing in#my skull. from multiple people who decided i was toxic for being myself in this new age. my new way#anyway please goD god damn it like. just be nice fr like wht why why why stopppp splitting yhe community up so much#literally please god damn relax fuck we're all literally just surviving i had such a nice evening with my headmates#we're going the fuck through some stuff rn and we really need our community but we keep. being reminded. of things.#actually plural#osdd system#did#dissociative disorder#system positivity#kinda personal#kinda negative#idk posting bc ✌😚✌ im just really frustrated rn
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auuudggghghhrhrhrbrr
#okay I’m feeling Bad and I need to unpick why before I’ll be able to sleep#friend is asking abt lunch on Friday when I already have standing commitment w other friends then so I can’t do that.#but I also go home on Sunday and I can’t do shit until Friday bc work and I have plans on Saturday so I just. can’t see them#which. I guess makes things easier actually that’s not something I can control and I’m not changing existing plans that’s unfair#I’m also listening to a playlist of old music (Apple Music generated favourites — so literally random picked from everything I’ve ever done#and the last few songs have made me feel Bad bc of being associated with certain times but song playing rn is definitively a good song#w a good memory attached and it’s MY song not one of my old friends#okay where are we#I’m stressed abt presentation on Thursday but also a non issue. I’m prepared. I have all day tomorrow to practice and read up more#and then it’s 20 minutes on Thursday morning I’ll be done before 10am#I am. a little frustrated on a broader scale about the role I’m currently occupying#in that w a bunch of my friends I’m having to be the one with their shit together and dealing with their Stuff.#mostly in the way that I have to be putting in extra effort to tiptoe around them and steer stuff to keep them happy#i can do it i can do it easily I’ve just tasted not having to now so it’s. noticeably different having to do it more#i do Not have the words to talk abt this in the way I want to it’s so annoying#it’s like. I know how my friend responds to stuff. I know the things that make her anxious and what her instinctual responses will be#and I’m constantly having higher level thoughts planning out how things will go it’s effortless and constant it’s just There#with everyone all the time but sometimes I use it more and sometimes I have to because I’m in a position where if I don’t we’ll get nowhere#and I don’t like that I’m having to worry abt keeping other people happy while I’m talking to my friends it removes me a layer from stuff#hrm. there are broader questions here abt the utility of this bc like. sure it helps in some situations#but this probably isn’t great long term for either of us. wild. goddamn talking to my friend abt philosophy opened new parts of my brain#anyway I cba to have those thoughts rn! it’s midnight! I’m going to bed in half an hour <3#it’s honestly unfair that I have to do anything other than be gay and play pokemon#luke.txt#uaUrghrhfhjs I’m also being insane abt a guy. which is predictable and I feel stupid abt for multiple reasons but. here we are.#I’m being insane. and maybe I should be less mean to myself but I feel like I’m being insane.#I think! I need to go to bed!#I am not being insane I am having feelings and that is allowed. feelings are typically regarded as a pretty normal thing to have.#philosophy friend is gonna be so mad at me if anything comes of this but it’s fine and if it does I think I’ll be pretty happy anyway#point is I’m doing nothing wrong and have done nothing wrong and I’m allowed to feel whatever the hell I like. okay.
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hhhhhhhh i just need to kinda rant or vent ignore this
#uhhhh i just feel sorta annoying to my friends rn or one of them at least#shes in away on spring break rn but i keep texting her when i wanna talk abt smth from my life or whatever#like im generally very relient and used to telling some ppl a lot abt myself and whats happenjng and what im up to and i think sometimes im#being too extra abt it and its probably not very healthy and also i dont really like that said friend much... but we got closer recently#before i found out things abt her that kinda make me wanna distance myself from her but i dont really have anyone else to talk to#like i just constantly or quite often feel the need or urge to share stuff abt my daily life... but should i actually do that#that puts me in a weird position#i feel like that friend has been colder in her replies lately#and theres this one thing that i want to talk abt with someone and get some idk emotional support and encouragement...#but im not sure if im too annoying#and if im being tmi all the time#im so weird i have almost zero social experience and understanding of cues i had no irl friends for a very long time and i was so so#isated and now i have a few friends but somtimes its not enough .... and i feel so weird idk#im probably overthinking#idk#evgesha's thoughts
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