#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season

[sateurn]

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

These sobs really limited my tags?????

I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2019

i mean, everyone's doing these write-ups, right? might as well hop onto the bandwagon

towards the end of last year i had one of my typical existential crises about my media consumption: am i slowly disappearing up my own ass because i no longer care about most of the pop culture people like to discuss ad nauseam? but on the other hand, isn’t it more responsible to find the niche items made by non-mainstream and marginalized creators? on the third hand, wouldn’t i be much happier if i just watched FMA Brotherhood over and over again, preferably while starting a new Mass Effect playthrough at the same time?

the answer to all these questions is probably “yes,” but i decided to try something different going into 2019. for every week of the year, i would try to get through a year’s worth of content for some kind of media, be it comics, video games, TV, etc--they didn’t all have to be recent, or even new to me, but once i was done with that week i’d be done, even if i didn’t finish the content, and i’d make a judgement based what i’d seen on whether i want to continue. mostly, i was trying to avoid what happened to me with video games in 2018, when i was hating every second of playing Uncharted but still felt obligated to finish because everyone and their houseplant liked Uncharted or listlessly doing the Master Hunter achievement in RDR2 because the main quest made me miserable.

the actual outcomes of this Project(tm) are a little more complicated than anticipated--some media i could finish in a day, while trying to play through ALL THE CONTENT OF AN MMO understandably took much longer than a week--but it all kind of evened out. in the end i did 48 weeks of this, and used December as my catch-ups month to follow up on some things i didn’t get to finish. i thought i’d give my thoughts on each of the things i consumed this year as part of this project below in a concise manner--and yes, i know the people who’ve read even one (1) thing i’ve written are probably laughing right now, particularly given how long i took in this introduction just to get to me point, but i really am going to try!! it’s all an exercise in shameless self-indulgence, basically, but hey: if any of you want to chat at length about any of this stuff below, hit me up.

(quick note: you’ll only find media that i chose for this particular project below, so things i watched socially with friends--like certain film properties slorping me back into Disney’s gelatinous monolith--are not included)

Devilman Crybaby (anime, finished 1/5/2019): honestly i should have twigged onto what the year was going to be like when the first thing i drew from the metaphorical barrel was demon tiddies and apocalyptic existentialism. i was determined to dislike it for most of the year due to fundamentally disagreeing with its main thematic thrust, but i kept THINKING about it even months after. at this point i’ve kinda mellowed out. it’s definitely not a must love, but there’s enough queer metaphor and philosophical richness in it to make it worth checking out.

Attack on Titan (manga, 3 volumes finished 1/12/2019): this is the second time i’ve tried to get into this franchise and...yeah, no. i still don’t see the appeal. the fascistic overtones juxtaposed with absolutely no one having a sense of humor wigs me out to no end.

Young Justice (TV, 2.5 seasons finished 1/31/2019): honestly, what even is there to say? they’re my kids. they’re back and grown up and making even more terrible decisions. i screamed when i saw Babs in her wheelchair.

Black Leopard, Red Wolf (book, finished 2/10/2019): i tried VERY HARD to like this book, given how much i liked Brief History of Seven Killings, but it just...didn’t click for me. which honestly is fine, since i don’t think it was made for me either.

Dragon Age (3 games, finished 2/28/2019): i feel like there’s always a part of me that’s going to think of this series as “the other one,” but y’know. it’s good. it’s my second playthrough (as a mage for all three) and it’s good! i even went around killing all the dragons in Inquisition because Knight Enchanter was a blast. appreciate the higher queer content vis-a-vis Mass Effect, even though i couldn’t care less about any of the plot. Dragon Age II is the best one, do not @ me

Bitter Root (comic, 4 issues finished 3/1/2019): i love intergenerational dramas and i love stories about vampire slayers, so this was aces. my only complaint is the pacing was a little slow for a story that was going on hiatus after five issues.

Pearl (comic, 6 issues finished 3/3/2019): i know that he’s done great things and grudgingly admit that he’s probably a net positive in the industry but Brian Michael Bendis can suck my entire dick

Lazarus (comic, 5 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i really thought this was going to clench the position for comic of the year. it’s Rucka doing Highly Relevant Dystopia! it’s a corporate Lannisters AU! it’s a highly personal story about a woman with high privilege and little agency! what more could you want

Immortal Hulk (comic, 2 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i vibed with the horror feel, but i don’t honestly think it’s THAT exceptional. being set in 616-verse means there was still ton of baggage i didn’t know or care about, since i’ve now swung more to the DC side of things

thank u, next (album, finished 3/5/2019): didn’t Ariana Grande get canceled this year for some reason? oh well, i liked her album

When I Get Home (album, finished 3/13/2019): i vividly remember listening to this for the first time and feeling vaguely disappointed that it wasn’t more like Seat at the Table until i realized that i was covered in goosebumps. still don’t understand the magic but it is Good

The Bird King (book, finished 3/23/2019): pretty much everything you’d expect from a G. Willow Wilson book--spirituality, the female lead finding Themselves and the Answer and learning they’re the same thing, etc etc. i’m slightly resentful that her Wonder Woman was so lackluster while this was so good, but whatevs

Psychodrama (album, finished 3/29/2019): possibly my favorite album of the year? dense and emotionally raw in a way i really appreciate. Dave has a Mercury and he’s younger than me

Mass Effect (4 games, finished 4/7/2019): wow guys did you know that Mass Effect is good! it is. all of it is actually, even the Mass Effect 3 ending, another controversial finale to a big franchise that i will obstinately defend. even Andromeda, which isn’t AS good as the trilogy but still has a lot of heart. all its bugs have been exhaustively patched since launch anyway

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV, 4 seasons finished 5/13/2019): i’m...still kind of mad about this finale, but can’t exactly deny that this show is one of the best things to ever happen to me, or television probably. i didn’t even mind new!Greg that much! tho he was probably the nail on the coffin of me jumping onto the Nathaniel train.

Knights of the Old Republic/The Old Republic (3 games, finished 7/4/2019): did you guys know that KOTOR II was my first ever video game? i feel like that...explains a lot about me. anyway, the first game is a classic and the second is a deconstructive classic and playing either of them is basically a fun way for me to turn off my brain these days. even the MMO wasn’t as much of slog as i worried it would be. the Imperial Agent storyline had some nice surprises and i dig the general atmosphere of ruthless pragmatism and crushing loneliness.

Wanderers (book, finished 7/13/2019): Chuck Wendig is a very well-intentioned man in dire need of a strict editor. still good tho! some VERY punchy emotional bits and an ending that still leaves me with vague existential terror.

Code Geass (anime, 2 seasons finished 7/20/2019): i feel like this is on the polar opposite of the spectrum as Devilman Crybaby, because i don’t think Geass is GOOD on like, any basis, and i actually find its central moral message kind of abhorrent? but some part of my lizard brain LOVED the High Imperial Family Drama (it’s been a good year for me and Lannister types, hasn’t it? well, with the obvious exception of--never mind), so...yeah. have i discovered the true meaning of guilty pleasure

The Farewell (movie, finished 7/23/2019): how could i not a) watch this and b) love this and c) feel emotionally cold towards this at the same time because the situations depicted were so similar to mine that i ended up feeling kind of alienated

The Nickel Boys (book, finished 8/8/2019): i STILL haven’t read Underground Railroad, but here i am a book late and a dollar short to appreciate Whitehead’s new book. the man’s stylistic versatility is jaw-dropping and i appreciate the plotting in contrast to like, 90% of the litfic out there that’s just “protagonist sad in different milieu”

Durarara (anime, 2 seasons finished 8/31/2019): it’s fucking bonkers and i loved pretty much every second of it? even the second season, where i finally got the BruceNat AU i deserved??? the first anime i’ve seen where everyone was relatively soberly dressed. the answer was love and having feelings and asking your middle school best friend to hurl you like a projectile so you can chop your girlfriend’s head off with a demon katana

Lover (album, finished 9/1/2019): i feel like with all the Discourse surrounding Taylor Swift re: she’s the devil incarnate or re: she’s good, actually the fact that she makes fucking bops gets kind of lost in the conversation. i have no vested interest in her as a person but i liked Lover, even though London Boy was “what if Style but stupid”

Are You Listening (comic, finished 10/2/2019): my actual choice for best comic of the year if i were giving out awards like that. it’s coming of age! it’s grief! it’s queers! it’s trauma! it’s magical realism! it’s cats! it’s expressive gorgeous art! Tillie Walden has an Eisner and she’s younger than me

High School DxD (manga, 2 volumes finished 10/10/2019): i don’t even know how to talk about this series?? i actually kind of came around to the whole “main character is a perv but goes hard for consent” by the end of the second volume, but it’s still...bad. i only can have lingering conflicted feelings about one Japanese adaptation of Christian mythology per year

Ghosteen (album, finished 10/18/2019): much like Immortal Hulk i thought it was fine but over-hyped. it’s Nick Cave doing his Nick Cave ethereal music thing. i still can’t tell what any of the lyrics mean, except Jesus is there sometimes

Watchmen (TV, 2 episodes finished 10/29/2019): i am nOT FUCKING CAUGHT UP so please watch out for spoilers. it is on my high priority list of things to be caught up on tho--i appreciate that the plot is blatantly unsubtle but still manages to give me aneurysms and i appreciate the political overtones just kinda...balances on a razor thin wire and also gives me aneurysms. i wanna say i have no expectations and would be fine if it does a full dive into the horrible bland depths of the both-sides porridge, but i’m sadly a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof

Syllabus/Making Comics (2 comics, finished 12/24/2019): it’s funny--even before Making Comics came out i was like “man i miss Lynda Barry” and then BAM. it’s incredible how her work just makes me feel taken care of, even when we’re wrestling with tough topics or she’s demanding that i draw a Batman in 30 seconds. kudos for immediately shooting to the top of my gift list for my sister also

Allegiance/Choices of One (2 books, finished 12/24/2019): fun and largely inoffensive, but i was honestly hoping for more. the level of Empire apologia going on was too much for me, someone who thinks Mara Jade is the best Star Wars character of all time (still?????? still). it reeked a little of Zahn believing his own hype as the only valid guy in Star Wars Legends of whatever

Aldnoah.Zero (anime, 1 season finished 12/24/2019): turns out i also can only have “trash but my trash” feelings about one Japanese mecha show with higher art pretensions and patriotism verging into jingoism per year, and this one ain’t it. it’s not as good as Code Geass and Code Geass ISN’T GOOD. at least Geass attempted character complexity and moved at enough of a breakneck pace to distract me from its questionable bits. Aldnoah is just...bland, and nothing gets accomplished or revealed in 12 episodes, except the baffling and contradictory motivations of the main bad guy.

Baldur’s Gate (game, unfinished): yet again something i really wanted to like, given *gestures at all the BioWare above*. i think it’s mainly the Seinfeld issue, where it actually predates my own experience with video games and was so formative for the Western RPG genre that what was innovative just comes across as kind of staid now. i didn’t DISLIKE it, and will probably play the sequel since it’s supposed to be more character-driven, but by the time i finished the vanilla campaign i just didn’t have it in me to squint at more tiny avatars on the screen, so the expansions ended up a no-go.

most prominent thing i noticed about this list is that only one 2019 movie made it on the list and ZERO 2019 video games did so. the former i’m okay with because i currently live with two film people with whom i’m happy to tag along to the cinema. the latter bums me out a little more, because there WERE a few things i wanted to play this year, but all of them came out just as my semester was reaching its catastrophic boil, so i had no time. maybe i’ll use my free time after the New Year festivities to catch up on those.

to conclude: this worked out pretty well! i ended up finishing all but one of the things, and only a few were bad enough that i have no interest in seeking out more content. i’ll probably do this again in 2020--we’ll see if the scheduling can withstand a full year of grad school hell

[himluv]

Self-Rec Challenge

Thanks to @notebookalpha for the tag (again!), and you’re literally tagging all the people I could think to tag, so if you see this and want to play, consider yourself tagged!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

1. The Fall of Santa Sarita (Mass Effect Andromeda; fReyder, rated M)

Summary: Sara and Reyes share a sweet reunion on the Nexus after the events of Meridian.

“I can’t believe I’m dating a criminal,” he said, shaking his head. Sara snorted. “I am not a criminal.” “Uh,” Scott interrupted. “The trespassing and public indecency charges beg to differ.” Real shock took over his features then. “You were actually charged?” “And sentenced,” Scott said, his voice and face smug. Sara scoffed, “six months community service.” Reyes bowed his head and made the sign of the cross with his right hand. “The fall of Santa Sarita,” he said mournfully.

Why I Love It: This story was my first foray into writing ME fic. And it ended my two month writing drought. It ended up snowballing into so much more than I planned, and brought me to tumblr. It’s literally my gateway fic!

2. The Cost of Salvation ( Mass Effect Andromeda; fReyder, rated M )

Summary: The sequel to The Fall of Santa Sarita, this story follows Sara and Reyes as they struggle with being a long distance couple in a galaxy hellbent on tearing them apart.

He looked at her for a moment, and she saw the exact second when he decided to lie to her. It flickered in his eyes, a moment of worry, of doubt, and then he was Vidal again, all charm and swagger. “And miss your beautiful face?” “Reyes,” she warned. His smile faltered, but he nodded. “I know. But, I told you the big thing, Sara. The rest is small. Details that need sorting and then assigned down the ranks.” She considered him for a moment. He was trying. He led a double life that demanded secrets be kept, and he was doing his best to tell her what he could. She understood and appreciated that. Plus, his plans and schemes, his role as the Charlatan, had existed long before she’d stepped foot in Kadara Port. She understood that too. And more than anything she just wanted to enjoy uninterrupted time with him, with Reyes. She nodded. “I miss you,” she whispered, lying back down.

Why I Love It: This fic is teaching me so much. I’ve had to write some scenes that are outside of my comfort zone, and I’m really proud of them. But, I’m also just stupidly in love with my Ryder and  Reyes, and the backstories I’ve built for them.

3. The  Long Way Around (Moonlight (TV Show) Mick/Beth Mystery)

Summary: When a series of mysterious murders brings Beth, Mick, and Josef together how could it possibly come to a peaceful conclusion?

As Mick walked along the stone path that led to Josef's front door he took some deep, calming breaths. When he thought about the last words he'd heard from his best friend's mouth, he wanted to throw something. Or punch him. But he knew arguing with Josef wasn't go to get him anywhere- even if it did make him feel a little better. Josef saw him through the glass wall and waved him in; nonchalant as always. As if they hadn't exchanged some rough words the day before. But, that was Josef. Unless you did something heinous, like cheat him out of money or something he wanted, he was a "forgive and forget" kind of guy. Maybe that's why Mick was such good friends with him; because Mick had a hard time letting go, but Josef held onto one thing- Money. "Can I get you anything?" Josef asked silkily, knowing Mick would refuse. The younger vampire threw him an exasperated look. "I'm good, thanks." "Are you sure?" Josef teased. "As sure as I always am." Mick said as he sat at the bar. Josef chuckled. "Sure… but one day you're gonna come in here and you're not gonna be able to stop." Josef watched Mick tense, it was sort of amusing. "It'll be your reawakening! You'll be a born again Vampire!" "Yeah, yeah. But until that day- No thank you."

Why I Love It: This was the first fic I ever completed. I’d honestly forgotten about it until this challenge. It’s formatted terribly, and I have come SUCH a long way since this, but the dialogue is surprisingly good, and my  Josef characterization is spot on. Good job, wee little teen me!

4. The Ones You Love (Moonlight (TV Show, Josef/Sarah)

Summary: It’s Christmas, and Josef makes a long overdue visit to New York.

"A friend of mine told me that holidays are meant to be spent with the ones you love-" He smiled through his tears, "I thought of you…" He paused, taking a moment to compose himself. "And… I also thought, if ever anyone deserved a Christmas Miracle- it was you."

Why I Love It: This is still one of my favorite things I ever wrote. I have a printed copy of it in my keepsakes. It was the first story I ever wrote that I was proud of. And, again, my Josef characterization is really good.

5. The Science of Souffles: A Love Story  (Mass Effect Andromeda; OCs)

Summary: Two warring chefs, a Salarian and a Krogan, discover that any quarrel can be resolved over a good souffle.

A Krogan. There was a Krogan standing in her kitchen. Her eyes searched the room for any evidence of damage, but instead she was surprised to find everything polished and shining. "Don't just stand there," a deep, gravelly voice commanded. "These omelets aren't going to flip themselves!" Kalla blinked at the hulking, rust colored mass that was the interloper. "Omelets?" The krogan sighed, shaking his head. "A whole cryobay of hungry humans and they send me an amateur." "Amateur?" Kall stepped further into the room.. "Amateurs don't win Sur'Kesh's highest honors in gastronomy," she paused, crossing her arms. "Twice." "Hate to break it to ya," he said. He took a skillet by the handle and flipped a large omelet on the first try. "But this ain't Sur'Kesh." He glanced over at her. "Now either help, or get out." She nearly suggested that he leave, seeing as it was her kitchen, when she heard the distinct clamor of a large group entering the mess. Lots of them. Her discussion with the krogan would have to wait. So, for the first time in almost a decade, Kalla took on the role of sous chef, following the krogan's orders. Food found its way to plates, and plates to tables. Andromeda's first humans sat in the next room, eating their first meal in their new home.

Why I Love It: Because it was a ridiculous prompt from a friend after a conversation about a Krogan pastry chef got WAY out of hand. Now Kalla and Wreav are two of my favorites, and once Reyes and Sara release me from their grip, I’ll come back and finish this one. For funsies.