#we havent talked once

[thesingingrevolution]

i cant even function in that class anymore this is so ridiculous, this is a million times worse because i have never spoken to this man but there is something about him that is making me lose my mind, i have never seen someone who has commanded my attention like this to the point i genuinely cannot focus on anything else, i have been bewitched there is nothing else for me to say i just feel crazy

[icantalk710]

Looong day of catching up on emails and work to set myself up to be (mostly) on vacation as of xmas 😩☕😵‍💫

[nyxofdemons]

the last SEVERAL sarcastic chorus videos im just gripping my hair with increasing intensity yelling MAN I TRUSTED YOU

[brutal-nemesis]

after all these years i have a fucking Rock Job im so so hyped oh my fucking god i will have money

[pinayelf]

u guys know davrin is a character outside that damn bird right

[artheresy]

I haven't finished the quests from 2.4 just yet, but I have already so many thoughts that I can just barely keep contained especially about Huaiyan, Yunli, Yingxing and just sm too much in fact, I'm dying rn

[mojaves]

alana and seb. btw. if you even care

[moeblob]

Not sure how important this is to people but:

If I draw something that you think should be tagged for whatever reason (alcohol mention, cussing, a specific ship) you can totally send an ask to say so! I don't think much of it when I draw it but if anything topically is something you would rather I tag... please tell me. I am just drawing what makes me happy most days but that doesn't mean I want you to be uncomfortable looking at it!

Also in regards to ships: I can try to use my best judgment for it but I'm prone to enjoying banter and stupid/silly conversations that are not intended as romantic. So I do draw people interacting that I might ship but in a platonic (to me) interaction and I don't think it would count as tag-worthy for it.

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

If you're obsessed with nbc hannibal you're also obsessed (or would be obsessed) with mitski. I don't make the rules

[kroosluvr]

only bad part of stanning trios is that now i have to draw a) 3 people in one drawing ALL THE TIME MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY b) 3 drawings, one for each ship pair or else i kill myself

[sollucets]

hi everyone :’) i havent been on tumblr much lately because i am 1) not watching anything and 2) still dealing with the effects of a bunch of fun medical stuff! i am doing ok but my body hates me so so so much lately. i have the energy and ability(?) to do only a few very specific things right now (play elden ring, let youtube forcefeed me kpop videos, languish) and that does not include watch show or make gif or even write no matter how much i might want to. so. this is how it is haha. miss u guys

[fellator]

her music is so cool and she is so cool and it's so strange to be a fan like this of someone who literally lives 20 minutes away from me

[buddie2024]

Having so many new people watching the show is so weird at times because I'll see people making post like "why is nobody talking about [this issue] or [that issue] and it's like babe. we hashed that discourse out years ago. you're late.

[autisticlee]

is it strange to genuinely not know what people think of you or how they feel about you? most people seem to just know if someone dislikes them so they can move on, or they just know when someone enjoys their company and is their friends. I have no way of knowing without people explicitly telling me, and people are horrible at doing that.

I don't know what my first impression gives. I don't know what vibes I have or what type of energy I have. I can't tell if someone hates me, doesn't care about me, or genuinely likes me. I can't tell what people's opinions on me are, if they think i'm nice, funny, rude, boring. I don't know if i'm bothering or annoying someone. I don't know if i'm upsetting someone or making them uncomfortable. I don't know if they are comfortable around me. I don't know if they enjoy my presence. I don't know if they are being fake nice and fake friends. I can't tell when someone loses interest in me. I cant tell if someone is trying to be a friend or is just being polite. I don't know if i'm easy to get along with, or difficult to be around. I don't know if my presence fills someome with joy or annoyance. to make it worse, each person thinks and feels different things. so i'll never figure out all of them.

if I try to think about what my presence and existence means to other people, i'm met with a massive blank hole. there's nothing there. I could never answer the questions "my friends/family would descove me as ___" because I genuinely don't know. I can only say what I think of me. unless someone explicitly told me with clear words, i'll never know. i'll usually know how I feel about another person at some point, and I try to tell them if I have the chance. but it's never reciprocated. they never tell me. so my presence in other people's lives is always a blank enigma I can't figure out.

any time i've tried talking about this, I just get a response like "stop worrying and caring about what other people think about you/just be yourself that's all that matters"

that's not the advice you think it is. that's more of what you'd say to someone who beats themselves up because they are worried about people disliking them in general and it fills them with anxiety to be disliked. they usually have low self esteem and think their worth lies in other people liking them. that's not the case here. hate me if you want, I don't care. i'd just rather know upfront before investing my time and energy in you.

this type of "caring what others think" is more about human connection, rather than acceptance....I wonder...is one reason I struggle to connect with people because I can't feel the presence of their feelings towards me? all I know is they are aware of my existing. thats it. try being in a group chat and not knowing if any of them actually like you or secretly hate you, not knowing if they are your friends or just being nice, and not knowing anything about how they feel about you, but you enjoy them very much. I try to share inner feelings with them, but theirs don't reach me. so I wonder, do mine even reach them? somewhere between us, the connection fails to reach. perhaps this is one of the problems i'm having with connecting to others.

if you don't know what people think or feel towards you, how can you connect with them? either you make assumptions, like "I think they hate me" and you could be wrong and push away someone that thinks you're friends, or think "i'm sure they enjoyed talking with me" and they later tell you they were just being nice but never wanted to talk to you becuass you're annoying. but assumptions are dangerous because those reasons, so the only other choice is to assign a blank slate to them and wait for them give you words to write on it. but if they don't use their words, they stay blank. you will never know if you are making a connection or it's staying superficial.

it's selfish to only go off your own feelings towards someone. you could really like someone, want to be friends, want to hang out and chat, but if they don't feel the same way, you just cause them problems and inconvenience. you bother them and ruin their time. i've noticed people often won't be direct about that and get even more upset because I missed it. I thought we shared a vibe or similar energy. but I might have mixed up my feelings with their vibes. if I like someone and enjoy them, not knowing how they feel about me can lead to me wasting my time and energy and also annoying that person unknowingly. it's bad for everyone.

if you can't assume the worse or even the best, you have to assume they feel neutral towards you until told otherwise. the problem is, most people go off of subtle hints, but if you can't see those, you get left out. while neither good nor bad, neutral feelings are still that of strangers. if you can't read people's thoughts and feelings on you, but it's rude to ask or people don't tell you the truth, you end up with many neutral people in your life. many strangers.

is this normal? do other people have an idea of what someone feels about them? or do you all "not care" what they think and go off of how you feel about them instead? is everyone making guesses, or do most people actually know without asking? how do you bond and feel connected if you aren't sure if someone enjoys your presence or if they actually loath it? I truly don't know....all I know is, not knowing makes me feel very disconnected from everyone.

I haven't gotten anyone else to talk about this or seen anyone else talk about it. so there's a good chance it's just a me thing. this type of topic usually gets reduced to "stop caring what people think" and goes nowhere beyond that. but!!! I think it's actually important to be able to know what people think or feel about you!!! at least to an extent. not obsessively caring to the point it becomes a mental disorder like social anxiety. but just enough to at least know if you are actually making a connection with them. just enough to know if you are able to reach them....

[daughterofsarenrae]

Fuckin GOOD eagle talk i love my job