#we havent talked once
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i cant even function in that class anymore this is so ridiculous, this is a million times worse because i have never spoken to this man but there is something about him that is making me lose my mind, i have never seen someone who has commanded my attention like this to the point i genuinely cannot focus on anything else, i have been bewitched there is nothing else for me to say i just feel crazy
#he walked into class today and he had glasses on (first time) and i genuinely thought about walking out because i cant do this#i actually thought about ending it but i do not feel it is prudent to speak so casually about one’s own demise#but. i did think it#herlock sholmes moment#i want him to talk to me so bad#why is it so hard#what must i do#am i destined to make awkward eye contact with him to no avail every tuesday and thursday forever#i dont even know if i can call this a crush?#like everything i know about him i found online and not even through socmed BUT THROUGH HIS LINKED IN#AND HIS PARENTS LINKED IN#AND HIS FORMER SCHOOLS POSTS#we havent talked once#usually i really like someone’s personality and then i like them#to me he’s just an ethereally beautiful being who knows a lot about poetry and philosophy and is well spoken and has huge muscles#he has entranced me. this is so sick#I normally am so collected. and on the outside i think i am but i am fighting every urge to confess my love in front of everyone IN class#someone help me please. genuinely dont know how to proceed#maybe i send him an instagram follow request because ive been procrastinating on that for so long#🚶🏻♀️#‘there is nothing else for me to say’ says 3 billion things#you guys would understand if a 6ft athlete trilingual english major poet with beautiful soft hair was sitting next to you twice a week#i’ve dreamt of him days in a row. if i cannot command his attention as well then i wish to be free#……
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Looong day of catching up on emails and work to set myself up to be (mostly) on vacation as of xmas 😩☕😵💫
#ore no kao#also finished up the biggest chunk of this editing project i was getting done the past week.5 given work and all 😌#(and may be feeling a thing or two with a little less on the mind)#(might add on a third one getting to the root of the situation maybe 🤔)#also thankfully fully remote from now until the end of January and even then in the office once a week which will be nice#maybe i can get my sleep cycle on track some#happy Monday 🥱#(...also the guy i've hung out with twice that i want to see again--after we had a text talk about expectations and were alright with#trying to be FWBs maybe yet we havent gotten around to and actually haven't texted much since though we keep tabs on IG stories and he's#liked mine--liked the jock photo on my close friends story yet... hasn't seen/replied to my IG text last week saying hope he's been well/#would still wanna hang if that still sounds fun [after i dm'd him open to music recs from a Wrapped thing he shared]...#liiiike... you could get another close-up view if you wanted??? what are we doing lol#wondering if i should check in via text outside of IG... just he didnt text back since my last phone text to him so i havent been sure if#he's still down... lol anywho)
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the last SEVERAL sarcastic chorus videos im just gripping my hair with increasing intensity yelling MAN I TRUSTED YOU
#sir. sir. why are you talking like you think the show is delaying or ignoring stolas' arc. SIR-#HE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS ARC tHE MIDDLEEEEE NOTHING IS BEING IGNORED OR PUSHED ASIDE WE JUST HAVENT *GOTTEN* TO IT YET AAAAAGH#'i don't look down on you when have i ever' isn't poor narrative framing its a CHARACTER FLAW you are SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE IS WRONG#just because it hasnt been addressed clearly *in this episode* doesn't mean it's being framed as valid or correct it just means it isnt#the FOCUS of this episode. this is BLITZ's episode this is BLITZ's relationship behavior patterns being put under examination#we do not have TIME to address stolas' remaining unconscious biases in this 21 minute episode and even if we did hb isn't a show with#that kind of pacing. we do shit an episode at a time here sir#have you already forgotten how annoying it was when they tried to do two things at once (cherubs/dhorks team up AND#stolitz crystal breakup) one episode ago???#guys i cant keep doing this why is everyone so bad at comprehending apology tour for some reason HELP#mine#helluva boss#helluva boss apology tour#e: apology tour#sarcastic chorus
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u guys know davrin is a character outside that damn bird right
#sorry for getting salty lmao but im getting rly annoyed#bc i dont even look for this stuff its in his tags its when im just looking for pics of him#if i sound resentful towards that bird its cause i am a bit 🥴#theres a great post abt how davrin projects onto him and how hes actually talking abt himself#havent reblogged it bc spoilers (i like to only reblog what ive played thru already) but so many of u need to read that#no one is bothering to rly think abt his character (we KNOW why) and im so so so annoyed#bc hes literally one of the most compelling characters in this game so far.#ppl are complaining theyre being spoon fed stuff in the game & for once davrin's story ISNT#and ppl are just. not engaging with it to attempt to understand him more and only focus on the bird#anyway ssssss not shocked abt it just Annoyed#fandom critical
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I haven't finished the quests from 2.4 just yet, but I have already so many thoughts that I can just barely keep contained especially about Huaiyan, Yunli, Yingxing and just sm too much in fact, I'm dying rn
#expect some rants#in particular an exploration of the actual state of Huaiyan and Yingxing's dynamic#bc a lot of people i see in general are perceiving it as purely amazing and awesome and perfectly happy#and i simply disagree and i want to explore how i think the state of their dynamic was#additionally ive seen people comparing how both yunli and yingxing are very bold confident individuals#and i essentially want to go in depth about how while they both have that characteristic it is still very very different#a very different kind of confidence between them#and lastly just how i imagine a yunli and blade encounter might go#bc the yingxing she envisions is an ideal version that her grandpa has told her thats part of why she still thinks of him by the name her#grandpa told her over what he himself has chosen to go by now#so i wonder how her expectations might be shattered upon meeting him#Ahhhh#i love this update so far#might also talk about how much i really like yunli and yanqing dynamic and how fun it is that shes pulling this side we havent seen from him#but thatll all be once im fully and finally done#so o7#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr blade#yingxing#huaiyan#yunli
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Magneto would love lumpia meanwhile Charles would have his Bibingka and Puto Bungbong hehe
Happy Holidays!
asks that remind me my bitchass friend kayla promised to make me *puto two years ago and she still hasnt
*puto is a filipino rice cake i do know it also means 'bitch' in spanish we do not have to address that thank you
#snap chats#'snap is the disclaimer necessary' every single time i mention 'puto' i get people clutching their pearls yes it is necessary vjAVKJ#LIKE I GET IT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT RICE CAKES NOW im hungry ...#kayla always gets beef from me but esp with puto and i only mention this when it was promised two years ago#cause SHE will always bring it up like 'oh yeah i still have to make you puto' bitch just forget it ive made it three times since then 😭#PUTO ISNT EVEN HARD TO MAKE LEGITIMATELY YOU JUST MAKE THE BATTER AND PUT IT IN THE SHIT AND STEAM IT#add a slice of cheddar on top if youre feeling especially nasty .... its so good .... anyway ..... rice cake ... i love it ...#i havent had bibingka in so long tho im PISSED. you know what else is really good tho cassava cake .. thats not rice but. lol#i never get to have filipino food on account of my mom hating cooking anything that isnt tiramisu knock offs#she really doesnt make filipino food she hasnt for years. my dad always does tho ..... whatever ....#i could always cook it myself of course. yeah... im lazy ill admit it you got me 😔#oh my god no you know whats great for the winter tinola I LOVE. chicken tinola so much#funny enough i learned how to make it when i was in the hospital from a filipino girl 🥰 we did not speak anymore after that interaction.#Also funny my fam and i were just talking about getting lumpia for christmas since theres like one (1) filipino place vaguely near us#'you guys dont make it??' on account of the fact im too lazy to make wrappers and no store near us sells any no <3#i did make lumpia myself once tho when we Did have wrappers after drivign out an hour to an asian market once#not to brag but they were pretty delicious ..... anyway ..#oh my god fuck me theres this like. speaking of rice cakes again JALKJKALJ theres this one with this delicious coconut sauce#BIKO IT'S BIKO its literally glutinous rice steamed in banana leaf with latik. UGH SOOO yummy ..... i dont have banana leaves anymore tho :#OH YOU KNOW WHATS ALSO GOOD FOR THE HOLIDAY lechon. that was my fave part bout goin to my dad's christmas parties#they had this big ass pig and i loved the ear .... crunchy as hell and so good 🤤 i havent had it in at least a decade tho..#now im hungry. and homesick. 'homesick for yoru dad?' homesick for my dad <- literally just saw him#well i get to see him again thursday :) goin to the doctor... gonna get my medicine again life is gonna be SO good !!!!!!#i have rambled far too long . happy holidays my friends !!!! do try to make puto this season ... very simple and very tasty .......
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...how many masters has the Scoundrel actually like, talked to, like a full conversation
counting RP adventures, a good handful. honestly they've probably realistically talked to all of them (sans the obvious exceptions of mirrors and The Other One™) because they're mr cards and lord knows they make a habit of involving themself in masterly business (especially if the other bats don't actually want anything to do with them)
#i think they have actually talked with pretty much all of them in-game too? counts on fingers.#pages is The heart's desire bat. veils had paisley (+ additional rp adventures where it bullied the scoundrel for sport)#happles has the heart's game basement#spices fires and wines can all be called to st8tion (and spices has the watchful gains arc. and also wines is... Wines. iykyk.)#stones just had the trading post thing#and while they havent interacted with cups properly in-game it did make an rp cameo in the cufflink incident#which im counting as having talked to it bc it's canon to the scoundrel's continuity if nothing else#so. ironically. pretty much the only master they're actually lacking in having talked to is iron.#which. i mean.#it doesnt talk in the first place lmao#ask#fallen london#they do live in the bazaar as a (wannabe) space bat! they have actually talked with their coworkers!!!!#they're just. y'know. also stupid. and think said coworkers know exactly what they're all doing at all times.#a trait all of the masters definitely totally are known for exhibiting 24/7 /s#the scoundrel fixates on wines the most but they definitely look up to just like. all of the masters in general.#they're a stupid fledgeling bat that wants to be Just Like The Other Bats#and they think (they hope) someday they'll get properly taken into the bat fold#they just. need to try harder! and wait a little bit longer!#surely once they're just a little bit more curatorial the other masters will respect and welcome them. surely.#..surely.#(nevermind the fact that these fuckers dont even respect and welcome each other)#scoundrelventures#the scoundrel is horrendously horribly unbelievably delusional and we love that for it. i hope it gets hit by a car
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That is generally sad because having parents who aren't really abusive or emotionally straining yet- they don't really feel like people who LOVE you? I guess? Like- Hajime's parents were probably just normal everyday parents like Makotos but, I'm just spit Ballin here, they're less optimistic than Makotos parents, who in contrast, always bonded with their children and loved them right off the bat.
You can feel like a stranger in your family, and that sucks. It's no one's direct fault and no one can point to any huge grievance, which makes it hard to pinpoint, which means you never get the Comfort Of Family or the Tools of Dealing With Abusive Parents- you just. Manage.
#Parents who do their due diligence but cannot connect with their kid once it has a personality and opinions- it's real ask your friends#I feel like Hajimes parents just sort of went By The Book and nothing more.#Convo at the dinnertable was just. How was school? How was work? Any extra curriculars?#The neighbours got a dog. How is your old friend? Oh you havent talked in 6 years? The balcony needs painting.#That's it. Bed time. No one ever gets close at all. It's more polite conversation than you'd have at the bus stop#No interest and most of all no desire or dare to rock the boat. This works. We function as a family. That's the best we can do.#Otherwise we'd bring up a problem which unearths years and YEARS of unhappiness that ruins our otherwise stable life#Every single moment of frustration comes out at once. Because none of it ever got aired out. Cant have that can we??#So again. How was school? Doing good? Try hard okay? Good night.
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alana and seb. btw. if you even care
#alana is ms cuntress at arasaka special programs btw i have barely talked about her ever but. insane science lady#and then seb we all know seb. they were married once if you can believe that 🙏 we LOVE divorce#anyway it has taken HOURS over many months to finally settle on a look for alana in game and i FINALLY won so i can YELL about her now#not rebloggable bc i havent edited them i just want you to see them. blinks oh so sweetly
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Not sure how important this is to people but:
If I draw something that you think should be tagged for whatever reason (alcohol mention, cussing, a specific ship) you can totally send an ask to say so! I don't think much of it when I draw it but if anything topically is something you would rather I tag... please tell me. I am just drawing what makes me happy most days but that doesn't mean I want you to be uncomfortable looking at it!
Also in regards to ships: I can try to use my best judgment for it but I'm prone to enjoying banter and stupid/silly conversations that are not intended as romantic. So I do draw people interacting that I might ship but in a platonic (to me) interaction and I don't think it would count as tag-worthy for it.
#moe talks a lot#not art#this is literally for anything i draw whether its fanart or ocs#my more commonly drawn ocs frequently go to a bar so one of them can stare at the hot bartender working there#and while its not focused on drinking they still might mention drinks#and one of them is incredibly foul mouthed so like i worry about posting him some days even though hes my beloved son#and with dbh we have alcohol coping and foul language and now the third factor - ships#ive only ever once been asked to tag a ship for blacklist reasons and it was for fe awakening lmao#idc if you want to tag my art as a ship bc i cant stop you from it#but ive had sooooo many pictures tagged as ships that were not meant at all to be a ship related doodle#i havent experienced that much yet for dbh but im still newish to drawing for it#i truly dont want people to feel uncomfortable if i can avoid it!#i also just REALLY LIKE BANTER so playful commentary isnt indicative of romance for me#its just people palling around ya know?#but i can try to tag more romance inclined things if people desire
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If you're obsessed with nbc hannibal you're also obsessed (or would be obsessed) with mitski. I don't make the rules
#tell me im wrong#her new album is soooo hannigram coded its insane#her music in general is hannibal coded tbh#and amazing#ofc#am i using this as an excuse to talk abt two of my hyperfixarions at once??#yes#im just that efficient#fr tho if you havent listened to her music but like hannibal or like her music but havent watched hannibal TRUST ME YOULL LIKE THE OTHER ONE#its predestined#hannibal#nbc hannibal#hannibal nbc#mitski#the land is inhospitable and so are we#hannibal netflix#netflix#hannibal lecter#will graham#renew hannibal#revive hannibal#hannigram#murder husbands#mads mikkelsen#hugh dancy#hannibal and mitski solidarity#<3#mitski music
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undertale yellow genocide route spoilers. something im curious about
who the fuck is that
#amuposting#undertale yellow#genocide route#thats not any monster we recognize is it? aside from maybe that really skinny guy with the popsicle thats usually in the lobby#is this a fun value thing?? ive only gotten to this area once and this thing was there when i went in and out of the hotel shop#scared the living SHIT out of me dude#has anyone else gotten this guy? because i havent seen anyone else talking about it#when i first got to it i was screensharing with flynn and fsr he couldnt see it#i thought i was going insane LMAO
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only bad part of stanning trios is that now i have to draw a) 3 people in one drawing ALL THE TIME MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY b) 3 drawings, one for each ship pair or else i kill myself
#cele talks#well we all know my main trio but i also like hsr trailblaze trio and sdr2 kmhnnm#theres def more if i could think but im stupid.#edit: akn kr/oosfa/ngbeag/le but i havent been arknightsing it up for a while#uhh i know ill like fgo guda/castoria/obey once i get there
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Yall I am going to scream and cry and scream some more that was so good and so fun
BUT I DEAD ASS THOUGHT MANGEY AND SAILS WERE DEAD WHEN WE DIDNT SEE THEM FOR LIKE 2 EPISODES!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!!!!!
Also The Rose Sisters were so precious and omfg I have so much more to scream about but i actually have to calm down because the feelings are too much right now
#IM FERAL!!!!!!!!!!!#sonic prime spoilers#sonic prime season 3#like omg!!!#also partner and I literally fucking screamed every time we saw shadow do something cool#im lowkey shaking I havent eaten or drank anything in like 3 hours omg#once again I so want a season 4#theres so much meat still left on this bone!!!!#sonic prime#sonadow#(i want it trending it would be so funny)#dip talks#i might#delete later#we will see
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hi everyone :’) i havent been on tumblr much lately because i am 1) not watching anything and 2) still dealing with the effects of a bunch of fun medical stuff! i am doing ok but my body hates me so so so much lately. i have the energy and ability(?) to do only a few very specific things right now (play elden ring, let youtube forcefeed me kpop videos, languish) and that does not include watch show or make gif or even write no matter how much i might want to. so. this is how it is haha. miss u guys
#it feels silly to make a post like this when im still on here nearly every day but i Feel disconnected. yknow#like i rb something once a day. i hardly talk to my mutuals. idk#i post vaguely often about my Medical Situation but. i think it might be good if i clarify so#this year since april ive been dealing with a sudden and long-term resurgence of pain that ive had before#originally we thought it was ovarian cysts (which ive been troubled by before)#but that got ruled out mostly. so#my doctor ‘diagnosed’ it as endometriosis (note quotes; it’s apparently not possible to diagnose endo without a surgery which i havent had)#(and so this is just an educated guess on her part and on mine. but a decent one)#i went on hormone meds for that which dont seen to be working for the endo but do regulate other things#but that significantly worsened my depression#so im on ssris now#theres also some other issues with me i dont care to disclose here#and its really just been A Lot#right now the ssris are on a very low dose but they are making me brutally dizzy and nauseous also.#i keep trying to be optimistic and then i get dunked on. but i will keep hoping#it will pass but fuck could it pass faster#rowan chatter#i have actually managed to write some despite all this. but show watching has fallen to the wayside
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her music is so cool and she is so cool and it's so strange to be a fan like this of someone who literally lives 20 minutes away from me
#and we're not even like friends#we talked Once when she told me she made music#and now im in love with it#but havent seen her again since
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