#was fine and went really well actually but it’s still going and

[sweetteaanddragons]

(I See Your Wife with) A Man Who is Haunting

”Him?”

This was not how Fingolfin had intended to start this conversation. Faced with the gangly elf carving a barely passable wooden bird beneath Nerdanel’s apple tree, however, it was the only word that managed to come out.

The elf jumped a little, apparently having not noticed Fingolfin’s rather thundering entrance. The knife in his hand skittered, scarring the wood.

It was, of course, none of Fingolfin’s business, but still - 

Him?

Nerdanel peered down from her perch in the apple tree, skirt full of apples. “Hello to you too,” she said dryly. “No, it’s fine, Partano - “

She was not in time to stop this Partano from bowing.

Fingolfin had to fight the urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake him vigorously until Nerdanel reconsidered if there might be something wrong with this picture.

It was not, he tried to convince himself, that Nerdanel was hoping to remarry. Her case to the Valar had been . . . perfectly sound. Inarguable, when looking at the precedent of his own parents.

It was only . . . “Partano?” he repeated a little weakly. He would have expected Nerdanel to pick someone a little more . . .

Well, a little more like his brother, he supposed. If there was an elf like that to be found.

Failing that, he would have at least expected her to pick someone a little more likely to be able to fight off the horde of Feanaro’s surviving supporters who would be out looking for blood the moment the news got properly out.

Partano was currently looking rather nervously between his king and his . . . his fiancee, Fingolfin supposed. His eyes had gone very wide.

Nerdanel rolled her own. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she told him, letting the apples roll from her skirts to the ground and leaping lightly down after them. “He’s my healer. He’s been checking on me since he got back from the Halls.”

The implied ridiculousness of this her tone was attempting was rather undercut by how sharply her bones stood out against her skin.

“Ah.” Fingolfin at last left the comfort of his horse’s back. “Forgive me. I just heard - “

“And assumed the first man in my vicinity must be the reason for my petition to the Valar, yes.”

“I won’t be the only one,” he protested in meager defense.

“Why don’t I just - take your horse to the stable? My king?” Partano tried.

“Thank you,” he said, trying for graciousness. “My apologies to you, as well.”

They watched him leave together before turning back to each other.

“Really?” Nerdanel said the moment he had gone. “You thought my second choice for a husband would be a nice healer who hates the thought of someone having a sharp word with him?”

He threw his hands up. “It would have been a change. I thought maybe - “

He had not been thinking at all, really.

It was a weakness of his when he got such news.

“Maybe you wanted a change,” he said more softly. He let his hands fall. “I did mean to be a little less prying about this.”

She leaned back against the tree trunk. He wished it didn’t look like she needed the help. “Hm,” she said critically. “I was expecting Arafinwe to be the one nominated to come.”

Fingolfin decided not to mention that there hadn’t really been time for a discussion, as such. One of the advantages of sovereignty was that there really didn’t have to be.

“Your actual intended. Is he . . . nice?”

She snorted. “I don’t marry nice. I told you that already.”

“Is he nearby?”

“Not presently. Are you going to ask me his name at any point, now that we’ve ruled out Partano?”

“What is his - “

“On the other hand, it might be funnier the other way. You’ve ruled out Partano; who would you like to guess next?”

Fingolfin gave up on that line of questioning and went to sit in Partano’s place under the shade of the tree. It meant he could only see her out of the corner of his eye; that made it a little easier. “I know you are not well,” he said quietly. “Is that why?”

She sighed. “Oh, I suppose that’s a part of it, selfish as it is. If that’s all it was, though, I would have waited. I do know just how much I’m asking. Mostly it’s Makalaure.”

That was quite possibly the last thing he had expected. “Is he - have you - “

“He’s still alive,” she said impatiently. “I know that much.” Her breath hitched a little. “No other word to even the Valar for a thousand years, but that much I know. Whatever cursed dungeon hides him from their sight, he is still alive.”

He had known, when he was in the Halls, that the last of Feanaro’s sons was not dead. It was not until he had emerged, not so very long ago, that he had learned ‘not dead’ was all anyone this side of the sea knew now.

Anyone at all.

It might not be some hideous forgotten dungeon of Sauron’s. It might be -

Well. It might be some hideous forgotten torment of someone else. Nerdanel was not the only one who feared.

He did not see how this would help except perhaps as a distraction. 

If a distraction was all she wanted, surely they could find her something else.

“They did rule Feanaro had to agree to this?” he checked.

“Oh, yes,” she said instantly. “That was the precedent, and I would have argued for it even if they hadn’t.”

Fingolfin had not seen Feanaro in the Halls. He had not seen Feanaro since before the first rising of the sun. However: “And you think he will follow his mother’s precedent and agree?” he said doubtfully.

Feanaro had not wearied of life. He had only been barred from it. 

He supposed Feanaro could have changed. Hoped for it a little, even. Just not . . . not that much, surely.

“Surely you have learned by now not to ask me to predict my husband,” she said dryly. “But I have done what I could, regardless; I asked them to carry my request to him just as I said it, and I have hope that they will. Even if they don’t, it may yet work,” she added hopefully.

It was not that he doubted her persuasiveness. Only . . . “What were your exact words?” he asked, very firm in his not doubting.

“That I ask only for the same courtesy that I promised him when I was carrying the Ambarussa,” she said promptly. “You remember how sick I was.”

He remembered hearing of it. He had not seen for himself; by the time it was evident just how hard the pregnancy would be for her, she had not been able to handle any possible additional stress, and he had not wanted to risk inciting an argument with Feanaro, and in those days, walking into the same room had been an incitement to an argument between them.

He had not previously imagined that she had been so wounded in spirit as to promise Feanaro that she would let him take another wife if she passed and could not gather the strength to return - or so visibly wounded that Feanaro’s indignance at the implication he would want to had not erupted onto all Tirion.

There were a lot of things he had not once imagined.

“Alright,” he said, defeated. There was nothing more he could do after all; nothing more but wait, as he once had as a boy outside Feanaro’s door, desperate to hear what he would say. “Alright.”

She looked rather concerned at his tone, but she didn’t try to stop him when he announced his intention to fetch his horse and ride away.

(“She asked them to tell him what?” Arafinwe asked incredulously when Fingolfin met him on the road.)

(Fingolfin repeated the message.)

(“The same courtesy - there’s going to be a riot.” Arafinwe swung his horse back toward Tirion.)

(Probably, but - )

(“She told me the story while you were gone,” Arafinwe said in furious impatience. “She was half delirious from the pain when she was carrying them. She promised him that she would come back as soon as she could. She promised him she would do whatever it took. She promised him she would <em>beat down the walls.</em>”)

(Realization finally struck.)

(“She’s not asking him to let her remarry. She’s asking him to break out.”)

(Ah.)

(That did put a different spin on it.)

[The title of this story comes from "No Longer You," a song from Epic: The Musical. It is also a hint as to how this story is going to end because that song involves Odysseus being told a seer has seen a vision of his wife standing beside a man with a trail of bodies behind him . . . and Odysseus angrily demanding to know who it is, not realizing the man is himself.]

[Which is not quite what happened here, but there are a few parallels.]

[This is, by the way, a Memento Pugna AU of all things; Nerdanel tells Finarfin her pregnancy story in the prequel to that, and Maglor's deal here is the same as it was there.]

[In this AU, though, Nerdanel got pushed past the edge and decided it was time to do something about it.]

[Possibly Fingolfin's return had something to do with that actually, since that hasn't happed in the main version of Memento.]

[centrally-unplanned]

I blogged before about this company, Orange, that is an AI-powered manga translation company. Essentially, their pitch is that most manga is still (officially) untranslated, a ton of manga gets made after all but few become mainstream enough to get ported overseas. They posit the barrier to that is the cost of translation; if they could automate that process, then they can make viable for release what previously was not. That concept rests on two questions - does the tech pan out, and does the economics add up?

Recently they went live, under the name Emaqi, so we can better explore those questions. What I notice on first glance is the pitch seems to have shifted a little bit in post:

You are not the translators of Vinland Saga, Witch Hat Atelier, or Magic Knight Rayearth, very obviously so. They have Sailor Moon in here lol. These are just the official translations being cross-listed into their "manga platform", where you buy it there and it lives, DRM-locked, in their app. Which is fair enough as a model, that is just Kindle, it works. Though Kindle and a dozen others already exist, so their value-add has to be the AI translation stuff right? That is why I would choose this over another app.

Which they do have, though it is kind of buried:

"Only on emaqi" - there is no mention of the translation approach, poor guys! Can't fault the branding decision I guess given the state of the discourse. When it comes to the products themselves, I went through ~6 or so of the sample chapters of different manga, did a few spot checks with the original Japanese, and read the reviews of some others who looked into it. They seem fine! I am cautiously impressed, I think there proofers did a good job smoothing out some edges, it has a "manga tone", and while small issues like the hyphenation the reviewer above mentioned do exist and are legit noticeable, they aren't common and not a huge deal. It has flow issues? Some dialogue should link together in how it is written, but doesn't. But it isn't crazy off or anything. You will not be wowed by these, but certainly if you are someone who reads bootleg scanlations you are gonna have no problems. A lot of manga uses pretty simple vocab and isn't breaking new ground on plot, I can see how a purpose-built tool could handle it well enough.

The economics though...here is where I don't think this case was ever going to pencil out and isn't now. Because I am pretty sure no one here has heard of any of the manga listed above as exclusives. (I saw 90's manga Geobreeders in there, but that was already partially translated in the 2000's, not sure if they did a new one? Setting it aside) Which, of course you haven't, if you had it probably would have been translated! Books are a 90:10 market, most books never get read and some books get read a ton. Anything big enough can justify a professional translation, and the other can't really sell to begin with.

On top of that, their model is mass translation; which means these obscure manga are presented to you with no context, no hype, no build-up. Wtf is The Blood Blooms In the Barrens?? See, if you were like a boutique publisher, selecting "the best of the best" in untranslated manga, you would promote your specific product. Interviews, social media, the value of the brand-itself as a quality seal. Publishing less is more, actually, your value as a publisher is as a quality selector. Or you could be say the porn market, where you max quantity so people can search "foot fetish breeding kink oshi no ko" and get results; they know what they want. But they aren't doing either! And to be blunt a lot of these are not gonna sell on their art alone:

I'm not mocking The Delayed Highschool Life of a Laborer here, that is better than I could do; but if you want to me spend money on a whim the bar is high and these don't reach it. Which of course they don't, they would be professionally translated if they did.

And finally, the price - $5 dollars, for volume 1's, like a 100-200 pages. The cross-listed manga typically sells for ~$10? That isn't much cheaper! If "translation" was this big cost barrier, and all you got is cutting the price of ebooks in half, I don't know if the analysis was so solid. This is a new product, I doubt they are overcharging to make a quick buck right now - this is the "sell at cost to scale" era.

In all of their lead up press they would say things like this:

Orange's process uses AI to read the manga through image analysis and character recognition, then to translate the words into English, Chinese and other languages. The technology is specialized for manga, meaning it is able to handle wordplay and other difficult-to-translate phrases. A human translator then makes corrections and adjustments. The process can deliver a manga translation in as little as two days. Orange will work with multiple Japanese publishers. The company looks initially to complete 500 translations monthly.

But this is missing a lot of context. For one, these manga are simple high school or battle manga that are ~200 pages long, many of those pages have only a few lines of dialogue, etc. Imagine you are a professional translator, and you are given that manga to translate, all the set-up done for you, all you gotta do is write. How long do you think that would take? Not that long! It could probably take like a week if it's actually all you did (calc'd from a 10k word count manga volume, 2k is a typical "good translator" per day count - many manga are shorter than that). And note how they said "as little as two days" - not median two days! Just, you know, aspirationally.

Translation is just not a big bottleneck. You gotta do layouts, lettering, proofs, etc, these can all take just as much time - and are being done by people, they still need wage workers doing all this. But that is small fry in comparison to publishing contracts, author approvals, distribution, all of that. And most importantly, product acquisition - you have to get authors to sign with you! That can be months of work. I am sure they are trying to get bulk agreements with publishers and such, but authors will push back on that, this is not an easy endeavor.

Which is why, in above, they say they hope to have "500 translations monthly". And after a year+ of work, on launch, they have...

...18. As best I can tell at least, their site deliberately obfuscates what they actually translated versus are just hosting for resale after all.

So yeah, as mentioned I don't think the economics pencil out. These aren't worth $5 dollars, they can't actually generate volume that makes "massive economies of scale" actually valuable, and their approach is currently antithetical to the idea of generating traction for any of their individual works. Niche publishing just doesn't work this way.

But it is early days, and hey I respect the experiment! I do think the tech is pretty good, and it is nice to see a company showcase it. It isn't quite good enough yet for prime time, but it could get there. I do want more manga to get exposure and audience; I will give a fair shake to any who try.

[starhvney]

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟐: 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐈𝐓!

𝐂𝐖: reader gets stalked and promptly has a panic attack

𝐀/𝐍: guys i did it! i finally got the next chapter out! (she announces to the crowd that has been sitting in the stands for like, three weeks or something)

𝐖𝐂: 6k

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐑: @arienic

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑 | 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

once again, the weeks seemed to pass by like a blur. this time, however, it was a good blur. ivy and the girls who were suspended eventually came back to regular classes, but when they returned, their reputations were less than savory now in the student body. needless to say, you were left alone, and for the most part, you were met with somewhat friendly faces—at least, the same amount you would’ve had before the drama.

it was like you were back to living a “normal” teenage life again. you had a normal house, you went to a normal school, you had (somewhat) normal friends, and you had a decently normal reputation. for once, in a long time, you didn’t feel like there were eyes on you. not from a self-acclaimed gang. not from obsessive girls.

not from behind the tinted windows of a dark idled car.

soon enough winter break had come and passed, and it wasn’t until well into spring that something interesting happened again (aside from your friends’ general shenanigans, which seemed to always be there as a form of entertainment).

you actually were quite fine with nothing interesting happening, but it seemed general drama was something you never can escape when you're a teenager, whether you wish upon it or not. so when whisperings of prom coming up meet your ears you think the drama that ensues will pass right by you, especially since it was only the upperclassmen who got to go.

but, of course, that was not the case.

“kate?”

your usually confident and thick-skinned friend zoned out at her reflection in the mirror, not really staring at herself but instead seeming to be in a distant world as you washed your hands. normally, you wouldn’t question the behavior. you yourself were not immune to zoning out and daydreaming from time to time.

but this was different.

katelyn usually had so much energy, and she always seemed to be in the present, ready for the next thing and on to the next subject to talk about. but she had been quiet all day today, barely managing any smiles and seeming absent from every conversation your friends had. it had been a month since she’d told you the news that she and jeffory had broken up, and while she definitely seemed upset, she had held up pretty well in acting like she wasn’t.

it was a little unnerving seeing her like this.

“katelyn.” you call for her again, your previous ask for attention seeming to have gone completely over her head.

“hm?” she hums, taking a full five seconds to turn her attention to you.

“what’s wrong?”

she blinks, shaking her head. “nothing.”

you note the dark circles under her eyes.

“kate.” you sigh, turning fully to her and leaning on the sink, giving her a knowing look. “you gonna hide something from me of all people?”

her nose twitches, the tip of it turning red as her bright blue eyes gloss over.

“…jeffory and i were supposed to go,” she says, her voice breaking as she blinks away her tears, showing you a prom flyer that had been crumpled in her hand.

“oh...” you murmur.

how does one comfort a friend in a situation like this? she hadn’t even told you the reason for their break up, merely saying it was “complicated” and that it was pretty peaceful. still, she seemed so upset about it even now. she suddenly brings a hand to her mouth, shaking her head as she tries to keep her strong front. very quickly it’s crumbling though, and you sigh her name at the sight. stepping forward, you pull her into a hug, one she quickly reciprocates with a shaky sniffle.

“oh, kate. it’s okay.”

the bathroom door squeaks and you quickly spin her to where her back faces whatever girls came in, hiding her teary face from sight. it’s probably very clear something was up, but you could only hope it’s not too noticeable.

“what’s going on in here?” teony’s voice curiously carries through the air like wind chimes.

lucinda comes after, her tone teasing as the clicks of her heels approach the other side of you. “a cute girl group hug with no invite…?”

both of the girls lose their steam when they catch a glimpse of katelyn’s expression, their faces falling into concern.

teony sighs. “oh, no. what happened?”

katelyn merely shakes her head, resting her cheek on your shoulder as she hunches over you like a wilted flower. turning your head to them, you point down at the prom flyer that had flitted down to the ground with a small grimace.

“aw, katelyn. you shouldn’t be crying over this…” teony says, reaching forward to rest her hand on the weeping girl’s shoulder.

“no, she shouldn’t.”

you raise your eyebrows at lucinda’s blunt lack of sympathy in her response, her lips pursing as katelyn’s watery eyes glance over to her with a sniffle.

“katelyn, snap out of it. it's been a while since you guys have split up. you need to pick yourself back up.”

you blink wide-eyed at the ginger, eyes flicking to teony who sighs under her breath.

“now, lucinda, you know—-”

the bathroom door squeaks again, and aphmau’s cheery smile skips right on in, happy hums leaving her mouth.

“oh, there you guys are! guess who just got asked to prom!” she cheers, freezing with an abrupt click of her heels on the tile when her eyes land on katelyn’s.

katelyn’s breaths shake before she once more breaks down into tears, slumping over your shoulder.

the three of you shoot an annoyed “are you for real?” look to the freshman, one she returns with a sheepish squirm and awkward smile when she realizes her blunder. slowly she walks up to your and katelyn’s sides, hugging onto the both of you.

“i’m sorry! don’t cry, don’t cry! shhh…”

lucinda rolls her eyes with a groan, before very suddenly pulling you and aph away from kate and lightly shoving her shoulder back, making the girl stumble. “alright katelyn, that is enough! where is that spunky girl who wants to kick my ass all the time? come on, girl. don't you want to fight?!”

katelyn frowns, her puffy lips pouting in annoyance as she catches her footing and shoots a glare at the sudden… attack.

what kind of comforting method is this, luci? you deadpan, looking to the other two girls who seem equally as taken aback.

“lucinda, i don’t think now is the time–” aph starts, before jumping at katelyn’s sudden grunt of annoyance.

“fine! let’s go!” she starts, beginning to march quite aggressively toward the girl.

this may be the most bizarre therapy session you’ve ever witnessed.

“that's the spirit.” lucinda grins, seeming to get hyped at the return of katelyn’s hot-headedness as she lightly bounces on her heels. “come at me, bro! we'll fight until your arms become marshmallows.”

the blue-haired girl’s steps stutter and her shoulders slump, her determination immediately deflating. “jeffory... loved marshmallows.”

“really?!” lucinda throws her arms up in exasperation. “you’re joking!”

“great job. you made it worse.” aphmau deadpans, before shimmying up to katelyn’s side and pulling her into a hug once again. “it’s okay, come here. let me hold you, kate…”

lucinda rolls her eyes. “aphmau, we can't baby her through this!”

“it’s not babying, she’s in her feels!”

“alright, ladies!” teony suddenly says, sounding similar to a judge calling for order. “that’s enough. i know what needs to be done!”

you’re unbelievably grateful for teony’s aptitude for leadership—especially in this moment.

“lucinda, it's not babying. katelyn needs our help, and we need to be there for her,” she says, hands on her hips and an assertive expression on her face. “after school today we’ll go on a friend date with the whole group to get her mind off of things. a little pick-me-up, if you will.”

“i guess you're right… it does break my heart to see katelyn like this.” lucinda sighs, her bristled front melting to show the spark of concern in her eyes as her own shoulders slump. “we have to do something.”

katelyn looks around at the four of you, wiping her nose with her hand and sniffling before reluctantly nodding. “alright, i guess…”

you shoot her a sympathetic smile, placing your hand on her arm. “there you go.”

aphmau hums, looking over to teony. “so, what are we going to do?”

the academic weapon grins, a plan seeming to have already brewed in her mind. “don’t you guys worry. i’ve gotten it all figured out. just meet me in the parking lot after school.”

☆

“the mall?” you raise your eyebrows, glancing around at the amount of people who seem to be in on this. did teony call the whole avengers squad for this?

not only was the obvious here—teony, lucinda, katelyn, and aphmau—but somehow from this afternoon when teony made the plan she also wrangled nicole, nana, garroth, laurance, and vylad, as well as… dante and travis? this is… an interesting mix for sure. though, based on the passive looks on nicole and nana’s faces, they don’t seem too bothered by the blue haired flirt being present in the group. that’s good, at least.

“yep! a friend group date is long overdue anyways, right?” teony grins, patting a still downcasted katelyn on the back as she walks to her car, sitting a wink over to aphmau. “plus, i promised aphmau i’d take her for a ride in my car sometime.”

“really?” aph gasps, running over to the yellow convertible in excitement. “i can ride with you?”

“mhm, and there’s room for one more…” she shoots you a pointed look, waggling her brows in suggestion.

from the corner of your eye you see nana, her fangs peeking from her bottom lip as she looks at teony’s cute bug in wonder. aw.

“that’s okay. it looks like nana really wants to go with you. i can catch a ride with someone else.”

the meif’wa squeaks in surprise, looking between you and teony with sparkles in her eyes, before hugging onto your arm. “really?”

“well aren’t you sweet?” she tilts her head affectionately, waving over the meif'wa. “come on, then!”

“guess i’m just chopped liver.” nicole scoffs, crossing her arms as she watches the girls run ahead.

“you can ride with me, sweetie,” lucinda coos, waving her keys between her polished fingers before glancing to you. “my car’s a two seater, though. sorry, i guess you’re stuck with the boys.”

“stuck with us? she’s pretty lucky!” dante protests, appearing next to you quite suddenly.

nicole snorts, not even glancing back at him as she continues walking. “you keep telling yourself that, bud.”

you raise an eyebrow as he visibly deflates.

travis snickers from behind the two of you. “damn. you just took that, huh?”

“oh, shut up.” he sighs, turning and delivering a weak looking chop to the other boy's stomach.

shaking your head, you look over to the more reliable ones of the group. “so… can i ride with one of you?”

“duh, of course you can.” laurance smiles, reaching over to pat your hair. “garroth has been driving a cadillac suv, so we have enough room for everyone.”

the nepo baby in question sighs at laurance’s dramatic jazz hands as he mentions the luxury car brand. “it’s my mom’s.”

“okay, well i was literally an orphan in foster care—”

“why do you do this to me?”

“i call shotgun!” dante calls, dashing around to the passenger side before garroth can even unlock the suv.

“hope you don’t mind sitting next to me?” vylad nudges you with his elbow, his round cheeks squishing into a dimpled smile.

“of course not.” you round to the other side, jumping up into the back seat as vylad gets in himself.

“scooch, you.” laurance taps at your legs, pointing at the middle seat.

“sure,” you shimmy over, only to nearly get clocked in the face by travis’s shoe as he crawls over vylad to get to the very back seats. “damn!”

“my–! bad–!” the braced teen grunts, a small thud coming from behind you as he flops down between the seat and the floorboard. “ah!”

“you could’ve just asked me to move the seat.” vylad laughs, glancing back without much concern at the boy. “you’re just as bad as zane is, making everything harder than it needs to be.”

“i know he’s your brother, so no offense, but please don’t compare me to him.”

“...none taken.”

“oh, yeah. speaking of which, where's zane?” you speak up, looking from vylad to the oldest ro’meave brother.

“he was feeling kinda sick today, so he stayed home. had a cold, i think,” he says, pausing before looking at you through the rearview mirror. “by the way, is katelyn… okay? teony told me she kinda put together this whole hangout to lift her spirits.” 

“yeah… she just got kinda upset now that everyone’s talking about prom since she and jeffory were supposed to go together.”

you jump as travis’s hands slap onto your headrest, his messy white hair appearing from behind you as he gasps at the news. “wait, she’s single now?!”

genuinely you cannot stop yourself from slapping your palm right onto your forehead.

“calm yourself,” laurance scoffs. “she won’t be jumping into your arms anytime soon.”

“anytime soon, but it could be anytime,” he meekly says under his breath, tapping his fingers gently onto the headrest.

“learn from me and i bet you could bag her easy.” dante smugly turns around wagging his brows.

“you fumbled not one, but two cute girls at the beginning of this year,” you deadpan, crossing your arms and leaning forward with a stink eye. “travis doesn’t need a single crumb of advice from you.”

laurance starts to snicker from behind you as dante’s face falls into a pout before he slightly recovers, gathering some dignity. “hey, but i got them.”

“and then fumbled,” vylad adds, the simple and cheerful tone of his voice making garroth and travis join in on the laughter.

you’re unable to hide your amusement as well, especially when you see even dante cracking—the corners of his lips wobbling. “okay, yeah. damn, you got me. but i did learn from that. i actually don’t feel good about it.”

“good, you shouldn’t,” garroth scoffs, reaching over to flick the side of dante’s head.

after more… interesting topics truly only teenage boys could conjure up in the car, you were finally at the mall and stepping onto the tiled floors of the building. light filtered from the huge skylights above through the tree and garden installations in the center of the large building, the sight refreshing through all the different smells and noises of the shops around. 

your feet quicken their pace as you race up to katelyn’s side, linking your arm with hers as your voice lowers to a whisper. “how do you feel?”

bright blue eyes dart to yours, the whites of her eyes still a bit red and irritated from her earlier upset. she opens her mouth to speak, before shrugging with a quiet sigh. “i appreciate the thought, but i don’t know how i feel about everyone being here right now. i feel like it’s obvious i’m upset. it’s kind of embarrassing.”

you shake your head, lightly pushing into her. “don’t be embarrassed. we’re all here because we want to hang out with you and make you feel better. a lot of people don’t have good friend groups like this. i know i didn’t before i came here.”

she looks down, seeming to let the words soak in before she glances back to the rest of your friends, a small smile tugging on her lips. “yeah… it’s been a while since i’ve hung out with some of those dorks, anyways.”

a wave of relief washes over you, and you thank whatever part of your brain that managed to conjure up the eloquence to say something successfully comforting. “that’s the spirit.”

“um, hi, katelyn!” travis rushes up to her other side, making her jump in surprise.

“oh, hey…”

“i know you’re feeling down, and i just wanted to say—i mean, ask! are you an angel?”

“huh?” she blinks.

“cause you must have fallen straight from heaven.”

“wh—“ she stutters, before a few chuckles leave her lips. “you can’t be serious. that’s the lamest joke in the book.”

travis’s eyes widen and his shoulders seem to stiffen up in confidence, the boy seeming to be energized by her smile. cute. 

“i… i’m trash!”

“what?” she laughs in confusion.

“so can you take me out?”

katelyn continues to giggle, her laughter lightly carrying through the air. “that’s a good one.”

“are you a camera? cause i smile every time i look at you.”

the smile on katelyn’s face lasts for most of the ventures through the mall, her mind seeming well distracted from running through the arcade to eating snacks from the vendors—until your group walked by an outlet store with their beautiful prom attire on display.

“ooh, look at those pretty dresses!” nana suddenly squeals, pointing to the display with all different kinds of dresses in the window. “aw… i wanna go to—”

aphmau, who’d been eyeing the dresses herself at the front of the group, spins on her heels with wide eyes and sends a high pitched “mew!” to the meif’wa.

lucinda looks up from her phone, a quizzical look on her face. “why you just… meow?”

“she’s stopping her from mentioning prom cause of jeff—”

you stop in your tracks, waving your hands wildly. really?!

teony bites her lip, slowly shrugging up her shoulders with a guilty look on her face. “oops…”

for as smart teony is, she totally slipped that up!

kate looks down, and the whole group freezes up, almost seeming to collectively hold their breaths. after a few moments of tense silence, her voice comes out… uncharacteristically quiet. “i’m done with the mall for today.”

no, no, no! she was doing so good!

“uh, the park!” you blurt, causing the whole group to turn to you rather than the fresh coat of tears gathering in katelyn’s eyes. “i think after all this time inside we should go enjoy the park. it’s just down the road.”

“good plan,” laurance smoothly says, clapping garroth’s shoulder as the boy tosses his keys up in his hand—the rest of the group slowly nodding along. “a walk would be nice.”

☆

and it was a good plan. a breath of fresh air in the warm spring breeze leaving not much to think about except for the large old trees overhead and the people nearby playing… volleyball!

it seems teony had the same idea, as she very quickly suggested a quick little match to get katelyn’s spirits lifted again. glancing up at the girl, your shoulders sag when you see the disinterested look on her face as she shrugs.

“i don’t really feel like playing right now,” she mutters, making teony’s draw drop in shock.

“well, i see those kids over there playing soccer. i’m gonna join them if anyone else wants to,” laurance says with a small wave, prompting aphmau and vylad to eagerly follow as he jogs over to the nearby field. travis stares at katelyn for a few moments longer as dante runs off after them, the boy’s eyes round with worry before he reluctantly starts walking over, too.

lucinda scoffs. “okay, katelyn, are you really—”

“we’ll be right back,” you quickly interrupt, looping your arm with the heart-aching girl and beginning to walk over towards the bridge nearby before lucinda can use any more of her “tough-love” tactics.

the stone bridge was beautiful, and the architecture seemed like it had been built long ago, though new supporting renovations had been made since then. you lean onto the railing and stare down into the lazy flowing river below, the gentle sounds of the water going along the riverbank filling the silence between the two of you. katelyn leans over, too, staring down at her warped reflection down below and letting the wind flick her hair wherever it decided.

“why’d you both break up?” you ask quietly, studying her side profile as you wait for an answer. 

katelyn truly was pretty, her straight nose and starking eyes framed by powder blue hair, and a few stray freckles dotting her pale cheeks. on top of that, she was a good friend–despite her occasional hot-headedness–and was pretty strong in her loyalty. from what you saw from jeffory, you can’t imagine he’d have done something to hurt her, but you’re kind of tired of not knowing the whole story, either.

“i… i was the one who broke up with him,” she whispers, sniffling as tears begin to stream down her face.

you frown. so it wasn’t a mutual thing. “why?”

“he just—it’s gonna sound so stupid.”

“it’s not stupid. you don’t cry over nothing.”

she lets out a deep sigh, swiping away the tears from her cheeks in an attempt to compose herself. “he was just too nice.”

…

“huh?”

she looks over, shrugging as her chin wobbles. “i dunno. i just kinda felt bad about myself when i was with him. and it’s not fair to him 'cause that’s not his fault that he’s so perfect.”

you’re speechless for a good few moments. “what are you talking about? like, you don’t think you’re good enough for him or something?”

her head dips down, a shaky breath leaving her lips. “no, it’s… like i can do no wrong when i’m with him, even when i’m clearly in the wrong on something, he just agrees with me on everything and never has an opinion on anything.”

understanding dawns on you, and you slowly nod. “he was a great boyfriend, but your personalities just didn’t mesh.”

she looks up at you eagerly, nodding. “yeah. i need someone who can, i don’t know, challenge me? contrast my… stubbornness.”

you snort. “y—”

“yes, i’m admitting to it,” she quickly cuts you off, a small smile wobbling through her tear-stricken face. “i know i can be pretty hard-headed, and i need someone who won’t just let me push them over on everything.”

“i understand,” you say, reaching out your arm to pat her back. it trembled with every shaky breath she took.

“thank you.” she sniffles. “i just… feel so guilty about it. and i am upset, i really liked him—do like him. he’s so sweet and deserves the best and i just feel like i can’t give that to him.”

at that, she seems to break apart again. she’s really holding all of this on her shoulders.

“oh, kate. you don’t need to feel guilty about it. some things are just not meant to work out, and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. you both could even still be friends after all of this, i’m sure of it. he won’t hate you for this.”

her shoulders wrack. “i know he won’t, which is why i feel so bad!”

“shh, just breathe.” you worry, rubbing her back some more. “here, i’ll go grab you some water so you can calm yourself a bit, okay?”

she gives you a weak nod, letting her hair fall to hide her face as she lets her teardrops fall down into the river. you let yourself stand for a moment to watch her, your heart squeezing for your poor friend as her mind continued to batter her emotions into a pulp.

as you turn to make your walk, you’re intercepted by garroth, who seemed to have idly waited by the edge of the bridge, looking on in worry. “hey…”

“hey.” you sigh, glancing back at kate–who was still hunched over the stone railing–and back at the blond. “she’s really going through it.”

“yeah, i can tell.” he frowns, his eyebrows pulled together. “do you think… uh…”

you tilt your head at his sudden sheepishness. “hm?”

“i was thinking of a friend to invite with me as my plus one to prom, and i honestly was debating asking you… but i was thinking maybe inviting katelyn would be nice. to take her mind off of jeffory,” he says, and your eyebrows shoot up on your forehead.

“wait, what? but i thought only sophomores and juniors get to go.”

“i'm only going because my teacher is on the host staff and asked me to help.” he shrugs. “plus, i get extra credit for it.”

“oh… that makes sense,” you murmur.

“yeah, sorry. guess i shouldn’t have told you i thought about inviting you only to say sike! nevermind!” he snorts, his voice turning comically goofy at the end and consequently making you burst into giggles.

“oh, my feelings are so hurt, garroth. how could you break my heart like this? i’m just a second choice to you?”

he shakes his head, his prince charming smile wide on his face. “no, no! never! my sincerest apologies.”

your amusement calms, and you pat his arm. “seriously, i think that’s a good idea, actually.

“okay. i thought it would be nice, but i wanted your opinion first. didn’t want to make things worse, you know?” he scratches his head, glancing over to kate.

“yeah. and it is really nice. you’re so sweet, garroth.”

the tips of his ears slowly turn red, his eyes darting down to the sidewalk. “thanks…”

“well, maybe you can go talk to her now. i’m gonna get her some water real quick.”

he nods, blond curls bouncing along with his head. “yeah, yeah, okay. i’ll go do that.”

you watch with a fond smile as he jogs over to katelyn, his hand gently ruffling her hair and making her jump in place. he was so thoughtful.

the vending machines near the restrooms wasn’t much further, and you glance over to watch just as laurance was completely demolishing those kids and scoring another goal on them. this was the same one you had gone to grab a water for zane, when he’d gotten hit in the face with aphmau’s lethal soccer kick. you wonder if he’s still looking up to gene, or if maybe he’s grown out of whatever horrid phase he was in.

you chuckle under your breath at the thought of the little emo ro’meave. though, little was an understatement. at the rate he’s been seeming to grow, he might even manage to end up taller than garroth. still, his attitude is enough to make him little in your eyes, as hilariously demeaning that sounded. you’re sure if you said it to the boy’s face he’d throw a whole string of insults your way.

as you wrinkle your nose at how fondly you thought of the little brat, your eyes catch jet black sitting in the parking lot ahead, its engine idling lowly. your blood drains from your face as you freeze in place, breaths shortening as your eyes slowly drift up to confirm what you just saw.

suv. jet black paint. jet black windows. dark headlights. facing right at you.

no. that’s not them. breathe.

why is it on? who’s in there?

“just act normal. i’m okay. i’m okay,” you mutter under your breath, shakily taking in your next breath as your finger slips and you click for a gatorade instead of water. “shit.”

you tear your eyes away from the vehicle, bending down to grab the drink with trembling hands before quickly standing again and looking ahead once again.

there’s a man. where have you seen him before? he looks so familiar. tan… dark eyes from what you could see in the distance you were at… brown hair… kinda tall. he looks pretty average, but you can swear you’ve seen him before. and he’s looking right at you.

the gas station. when you’d been there with gene. you’d seen the same suv then, too.

your heartbeat picks up, hands going cold and sweaty and throat tightening.

is that him? the one from before? did he find you again? why is he showing his face to you now?! IT’S HIM!

it almost felt like you were outside of your body, your face and limbs gone completely numb as you held eye contact with him. your vision blurs, and you can barely keep track of him as he slowly walks over to the passenger side of the black vehicle. as you blink to regain your sight, you see that that blank look on his face is gone, instead replaced with a taunting smile as he tilts his head.

IT’S HIM. CALL FOR HELP. SCREAM FOR GARROTH, KATELYN, SOMEONE.

one of your hands reach up from the gatorade, tightly gripping onto the locket zianna had given you.

a boy walks up to the man, standing just shorter than him. he was a werewolf. silver piercings on his ears glinting in the sun and a streak of blue running through his bangs.

who is he? he looks young. but is he in on it? he could be. was that his son?

his eyes shift to you, and you watch as they widen at you, his expression shifting into something… uncomfortable? scared? you can’t quite place it, your own brain going too haywire to associate anything with anything else. he turns from you and quickly gets into the car, not giving you a second glance.

you can’t hear anything but ringing in your ears and the sharp breaths that you struggled to take in. the man slowly opens up the passenger door, before slinking into the vehicle and disappearing inside.

you hear your name muffled against your left side, before a firm grip clasps on your shoulder.

“no!” you shout, whipping towards your assailant and whacking their arm away, stumbling back as the gatorade falls to the ground, rolling from your feet.

garroth stands shocked, his hand still held out to you and eyes wide. katelyn, stood a step behind him, has an almost identical expression. 

“woah… it’s just me,” he says, voice low and eyebrows pulling together. “why are you so scared?”

you blink rapidly, shaking your head and looking back to the vehicle. garroth and katelyn follow your line of sight, and as their eyes land on the suv it backs out of its spot, before quickly driving away.

“what? who was that?” katelyn mutters.

you shake your head. it’s so hard to breathe.

garroth’s hands land on your shoulders again, and instead of fear you feel comforted by their strength. you tear your eyes from the empty parking spot, looking up at him.

“please. talk to us. you said we wouldn’t keep secrets from each other anymore.”

katelyn picks up the gatorade, pointing to the nearby bench. “she looks like she’s having a panic attack, or on the verge of it. let’s let her breathe for a second.”

garroth’s face twists in guilt, before he slowly nods. “yeah, sorry.”

guiding you over to the seat, he sits next to you while katelyn takes the spot on your other side. you stare forward at the field, listening to the distant sound of your friends’ cheers and shouts as they run around in the grass. it takes a while. a minute. or two. maybe even five or ten. you’re not sure. garroth and katelyn don’t speak, letting silence sit between the three of you and merely exchanging worried glances when you take in a particularly sharp breath. finally, your breaths calm to a slow pace and your shoulders slightly relax, letting you slump back to rest on the bench properly.

“...i moved back here. because of him,” you say, voice more hoarse and whispered than you expected it to be.

“him?” katelyn asks, her head whipping to look back to the parking spot like the suv would still be there. “in that car?”

you nod slowly.

garroth sighs, his eyes trailing down to the necklace that you still had clutched between your fingers. you didn’t even realize you were still holding onto it. stiff fingers release the locket from its confines, your nails leaving deep imprints on your palms.

“i don’t know everything… but my mom kind of told me the reason why you were here. that you had a stalker?”

katelyn quickly looks back at you. “what?”

you take in a deep breath. “yeah. it was that same vehicle. i’ve been seeing it again. i keep thinking i’m just overreacting but…”

you gulp, blinking more tears away again. “i think it’s the same from before. i don’t know how they found me. he found me. i thought i could at least be safe for a year—”

“you are safe,” garroth says, wrapping his arm loosely around your shoulder. the firm and sure way he said it almost makes you believe it. “as long as you’re with us, you’re safe.”

katelyn nods. “i… had no clue. but garroth’s right. we won’t let anything happen to you.”

you shake your head slowly, folding your legs up to your chest. “it’s been happening for so long. i’m so tired of being scared.”

“...why haven’t you told any of us yet?” katelyn murmurs, setting her arm on top of garroths as she also hugs you.

“i didn’t want to draw attention. plus, i didn’t want anyone to know. i wanted to leave it all behind. start over. but he won’t let me.” your nose pricks as tears fall down your cheeks again.

garroth sighs under his breath, the sound tense and almost… angry?

“i’m sorry,” he mutters, glancing up at katelyn before resting his cheek on your head. “i hate seeing you so scared, but i’m glad you told us. from the sound of it you can’t ignore it anymore, and you need us to help and protect you.’

“and we will,” kate adds.

you stare blankly ahead at the field, and take in a deep breath when you see laurance looking over, squinting to get a better look at the three of you with a frown on his face.

“please don’t tell anyone. you can tell our close friends, but i want this to stay a secret...”

“of course,” garroth quickly says. “wasn’t even thinking of telling them until you said anything. this is more than just a small secret.”

katelyn nods, her voice quiet as she seems to process everything. “yeah…”

“and don’t treat me differently,” you mutter, finally looking them in the eyes. “okay?”

they both nod, eyebrows pulled together.

you sigh, looking forward again. “so. you going to prom together?”

garroth guffaws and kate makes an audible noise of shock.

“you just told us the most traumatizing ongoing experience of your life, and that’s how you ease out of that conversation?”

“are you?”

katelyn slowly nods, trying to calm her face into a more pleasant expression. “yeah… garroth actually made me laugh with that stupid voice he does.”

“the hur-dee-dur one?”

garroth laughs, not sounding all that amused but still giving an attempt at it. “yep, that one.”

“good. i’m glad. i think it’ll be fun.”

he nods. “yeah. you know… laurance is a part of the helping crew too. maybe he can take you and we can all go together. that would be a lot of fun, huh?”

you stare in thought, noticing that the boy himself was starting to walk over from the field. you hadn’t even let the thought of attending prom cross your mind, but the thought of dressing up with your friends at a party you technically weren’t supposed to be at sounded like something from the teenage experience you had been craving since you got here.

“yeah. that would be fun.”

©starhvney 2024. do not plagiarize, feed to any AI, or repost my works to any sites.

tag list: @orinlin @pain-in-the-ashe @youmake1mistake @arienic @wasting-away-on-the-internet @angelhyperfixates @remiechu @valentique @kalegrinch

[thesleepyfable]

~ SWTD: Still Here AU Part 16: ~

A Series of Phone Calls:

Sorry Finlay, but the Queen has arrived This is really two chapters in one, because they'd be way too short otherwise.

TW: Mention of divorce.

Ring. Ring.

Ring. Ring.

Ring. Ring.

'Come on. Pick up. Please pick up.'

Ring. Ring.

Ring r-

'Hello?'

'Suze?!'

'Caz?! I...Jesus. A little late, isn't it? No need to go bellowing down the phone at me.' There was a pause. Caz was at a loss for words. She answered. He was hearing Suze's voice. Nothing artificial from The Shape that tried to lure him in. But, from Suze's perspective, Caz was breathing heavily down the phone. 'Caz? Hello?' Her voice slapped him out of his daze.

'M-Maybe.' His voice was breathless. How he missed her. 'Sorry about that.' Caz's grip on the phone tightened. He didn't want to let go. Ever since he arrived on The Beria, he wanted to be back in her arms, but he knew it was for the best. 'Look, I, er.' Be brave. For Suze. Be brave. 'I want you to come and see me.'

'What?' A small chuff echoed through the phone. 'All the way out in the middle of the North Sea?'

'No. No. I'm on the mainland now.'

'W-What?' Naturally, she was at a loss for words. 'When did you-'

'Only a few hours ago.' A small lie. Depends if you count six hours ago as a few or several. 'Something happened to The Beria, and we had to evacuate. Lost a few good men, but we're back.'

'Something? What's 'something' C- Wait. Lost?' Panic began to rise in Suze's voice. It took her a moment to register what he had just said. She just replied as if she was on autopilot. 'People died? Is Roy with you?'

'Yeah. Yeah. Big man's safe and sound with us.' He managed a light chuckle. He didn't know it, but Suze had also tightened her grip on the phone. She was so happy to finally hear his voice again. All the anger she had built up since August just vanished, replaced with all the good memories flooding into her brain and making her heart skip a beat. Her finger wrapped around the cord. 'How are you and the weans?'

'We're okay. Christmas didn't feel the same without you. Ma had to make a fool of herself, though. Bloody forgot to put the handbrake on.'

'We need to sell that old banger.

'Aye. Her and all, too.' The pair shared a laugh. Something they haven't done for a while. It was good.

'How are you, Caz? You sound...' Suze paused to find the right word. 'Different.'

'Well, being on a rickety oil rig in the middle of the North Sea will do that to ya. I'm fine, though, really. Made some new friends out there. You'd like them.'

'Are they with you now?'

'Some are. Most went home.' Suze frowned. That wasn't the right thing to say. The anger didn't return, but small specks of frustration did. Still, she gave Caz the benefit of the doubt.

'Then, why aren't you coming home?'

'I will be, but first, I want you and the girls to come here.'

And where's 'here?''

'Braemar'

'What the hell are you doing all the way out in Brae-'

'Please, Suze. I can't hog the phone for much longer. Just please. Bring the girls here. I'll give the address. Please?' Silence. Caz's heart dropped. His foot began to tap, and he bit his lower lip. How could he have possibly made their situation worse? Did she not believe him? Then again, he can't blame her. She hadn't hung up the phone, but had he lost signal? Was she actually talking to him, and he didn't know? 'Suze?'

'Alright, Caz. Give me the address.' Her voice was one of defeat, but Caz had hope. It's all that kept him going. Might be the only thing that kept him from turning.

'Trust me, Suze. All will be explained when you see us.' A pause. 'I love you.'

'I love you, too.'

Well, it could have been better. Caz knew he had been brave, but he would be a fool if he didn't feel some tension. As for Suze, she hunched over and covered her mouth when she hung up the phone, not knowing if she'll cry or scream until the windows shattered. Maybe both. She was still angry. Her emotions were a hurricane residing in her stomach that she tried to control. Nothing was easy anymore. She was tried. So tired. Her eyes were still heavy. Slowly, Suze controlled her breathing and stood up straight with a long sigh.

'Right,' she muttered. 'Okay.' Then, a small smile graced her face. 'Silly sod.' Once again, the good memories came back. With the living area of the flat being open planned, she turned to the cheap kitchen table, where a brown file containing the crisp divorce papers lay in wait. They'd been there since last Monday. Dust had gathered. Now, the question was, will Suze leave them to collect more?

Caz exhaled all the air in his lungs. He felt better, but at the same time, he wished he could just deflat like a balloon. Roy had been listening the entire time from the stairs. 'So, how did it go?'

'I dunno, Roy,' he sighed, running a hand through his hair. Caz often did that when he was either indecisive or stressed. 'Good. I think? Do you want to call anyone?'

'Nah. I'm gonna sleep, but,' Roy nodded to the front door. 'I think they'll want to speak to someone.'

'Aye.' Caz turned and walked down the corridor. 'Alright.' He opened the door. 'Who wants to use...' Nothing else needed to be said. Everyone was huddled on the porch, waiting for their turn, except for Innes and Muir. Seems no one could decide on who could go first. The infected, except Trots, couldn't fit inside, yet they kept Raffs, Brodie, and O'Connor from reaching the entrance. Poor buggers were freezing, unlike the infected. The cold didn't affect them. Another small positive from The Shape. Caz sighed at the sight. Good to know he was working with children the entire time. 'We go alphabetically. Addair, you're first.' And guess who was going to be the handler?

Caz turned around whilst Addair tried to get inside. The keyword is 'try,' because Caz instantly shoved him back out when he knocked over a picture. Just like with Bernard, he quickly realised this was going to be a long night. The method was simple; give Caz their number, he dails it, and gives the phone to whoever.

The calls were like clockwork. Just like him, everyone asked for their loved ones name in surprise before sighing in relief and explaining what happened without the infected telling them that they'd been turned into fleshy blobs. Then, they invite them all to the farm. Addair. Gibbo. Ren-

'Not answering?'

'Eh,' Rennick motioned something akin to a shrug. 'My son travels for work. I'll try again later.'

O'Connor, Trots, and finally Raffs, who told his mum he and Brodie will be home soon. Brodie went last, and that was just to get in touch with the train station to figure out when was the best time and day to get back to Skye.

When all was said and done, Caz took himself to the sofa he was given as his bed and instantly crashed, along with Trots, who took the armchair and leg rest. Which was ironic. Neither slept well last night, but now, both could finally breathe. Everyone else soon followed.

Where was Muir's family during all this?

Muir had brought his parents and brothers to the furthest point of the garden. He cradled a now sleeping Grace and Bonnie in his arms whilst Innes leaned against the fence. It was late, but he wanted to tell them because he wasn't going to be subtle. He's done that enough. 'Okay. Everyone. I need to tell you something. I'm...I-I...' He glanced to Innes, who smiled and nodded in return. That gave Muir the confidence he needed. 'I'm gay. I like men, and I have since I understood what that meant.' He shuffled back and forth between his crab-like legs. 'And Innes here is the one I want to spend my life with. Dad, you said you'd never stop loving me, and I hope this doesn't change anything.'

'WHAT?!' Harris yelled. Muir retracted for a moment before it clicked that Harris was being sarcastic.

'Oh no,' Angus continued with equal sarcasm. 'Ewan's gay? Jesus Christ. Who could have guessed?'

'Okay, I get it,' Muir mumbled. He stared at Innes when he heard him trying not to laugh.

'We've all known for years.'

'The only girl you've dated was Ivy Bradshaw from year 6.' Of course, Harris continued his life goal of being the little shit sibling.

'Yes, thank you, 'arris.' Muir could feel the blood rush to his cheeks.

'And, you didn't dance with anyone at either of our weddings. Instead, you were eyeing up the bar - Either out to desperation or just get one over on Harris, Muir quickly slapped a tendril over his mouth.

'S-Shut up!' Sadly, being red in the face and hissing through his teeth, just gave his younger brother the motivation to keep going through heavy muffles.

'Harris!' Fiona snapped. Nothing else needed to be said. She had that stern look in her eyes that even made Harris, a thirty-three year old man, stop whatever shit he was pulling. Muir still kept his mouth covered.

'Ewan,' Logan began. 'You've been turned into a five meter tall hermit crab. Even if we didn't know, do you think we care?'

'W-Well, that's a relief.' Muir glanced to his mum, who was just smiling. He returned the smile. Now, all the weight had gone from his shoulders. Innes stepped forward and held his hand out for Muir to take.

'Now, can we go inside, please? It's freezing out here.' Gently, Harris, now free from Muir, and Angus took their daughters and began to walk back to the house. Fiona approached and kissed her son on the cheek before looking to Innes.

'You look after him, okay?'

'I promise, mam. He won't be leaving my sight.'

'I think that's impossible.' And cue Muir literally buring his head in the snow. A low groan could be heard, causing the pair to snicker. He was always easy to embarrass. Fiona found it cute whilst Innes just mentally jotted that this was payback for nearly taking his head off with the piping. 'Well, goodnight, you two.' They had given Innes a bed, but it was obvious he wasn't going to be there.

He knelt beside Muir and gave him a pat on the exposed flesh from the helmet. 'Proud of you, ya big lug.' A tendril wrapped around his waist, yet Muir still kept hidden under the snow. He'll come out when his cheeks stop being red.

[tk-duveraun]

4/? Luo Binghe is SO NORMAL about Shen Yuan

1, 2, 3, 4 (here), 5

Read up through even numbered parts on (fic will update tomorrow, y'all just get this early - but there won't be a part tomorrow or saturday)

Instead of a Qian Cao room, Luo Binghe found himself in one of Qing Jing's guest rooms. Since Shen Qingqiu was such an ass, few people ever visited Qing Jing and the room showed it by still being musty despite however long Luo Binghe had been unconscious.

When he woke, Ming Fan had grunted "Finally" and disappeared without further comment.

"Linguang-jun wasn't impressed, but given your position that's probably for the best." The demon in his head said.

"Whose side are you on?" Luo Binghe returned.

"Whoever is stronger, obviously, this Meng Mo intends to be part of the new regime."

Luo Binghe, who knew of Linguang-jun's ignoble death, snorted. "Am I getting the antidote or not?"

"A 'package from home' should arrive for you shortly. I suggested he have one of his underlings including a light poison to fake symptoms for you. Little Mobei's pet human suggested spreading the narrative the poison was actually Cureless, not Without-a-Cure, since you were stupid enough to get scratched."

"What kind of demon would let their fixation be poisoned?" Luo Binghe indulged in baring his teeth, even if he wasn't sure the other demon would know.

"Fair enough, kid. Who knows, human pets go in and out of fashion every few hundred years. You and Little Mobei can give them playdates."

"Enough," Luo replied before throwing his mental walls up. Once he was truly alone, he sent a silent prayer of thanks that speaking conventions made the demon say his own name. Meng Mo wasn't a demon he was familiar with, but the only demons that were wanted a piece of Shen Yuan, so it only spoke well of Meng Mo's continued existence, if he could be talked into actually helping Luo Binghe.

Luo Binghe was testing the limits of his new infirmity when the door slid open to reveal his beloved. Shen Yuan was dressed primly in his layers and fine guan, but there were deep bags under his eyes, hidden poorly by the powder Shen Jiu applied to him every morning.

Shen Yuan closed the door behind himself and sealed it with two talismans: one that glowed blue and one that sent a wave of purple light across the space. He sat next to Luo Binghe's bed and poured him a cup of water.

"Drink."

"Shizun wouldn't be feeding this poor Disciple a truth serum, would he?" Luo Binghe asked, letting his eyes tear up.

Shen Yuan scoffed and opened his fan with a crack. He covered all but his eyes, which were narrowed in calculation.

Okay, Luo Binghe could see how people thought he might be Shen Jiu's twin. He started sweating. Shen Yuan never went serious in IRS unless he was about to kill something.

"Disciple Luo and this Master both know such a thing is unnecessary. We've already come to this point, what's the point in pretending?"

What the fuck? Shen Yuan was OOC! Was that possible?

[Shen Yuan is within character parameters. User is advised to complete side quests to understand the history between Shen Yuan and Luo Baixiao.]

Excuse me?!

"Shizun will have to enlighten this stupid Disciple." Luo Binghe looked at his hands so he couldn't see his beloved's cold expression. It was one thing to commission Shen Yuan with that gaze and artfully streaked with blood, it was another to have it aimed at him.

Well, aimed at him when not a prelude to hate-sex.

Anyway.

"This Master was well-aware of Disciple Luo's demonic nature, unless he thinks this Master dumb as well as blind?"

Uh, Luo Binghe didn't really have anything to say to that. Since when? How? Snowballing, do not say that those extremely awkward transitions in this arc were you simply deleting sections? Luo Binghe could only pitifully mutter, "Of course not. This Disciple has nothing but respect for Shizun."

Shen Yuan laughed, jagged and shrill. "Of course. Let it be known this Master kept Mu-shidi from investigating Disciple Luo's poison sufficiently. Sect rumor is that the incompetent demon Elder Sky Hammer misremembered the poison he applied."

"Thanking Shizun." Luo Binghe risked a glance up, but Shen Yuan's expression was still frosty. He flinched.

Silence reigned far more than long enough to be uncomfortable. Finally Shen Yuan closed his fan and sighed. "This Master doesn't know what Disciple Luo intended to gain from this. Or from his previous actions, but know well: this Master will not let harm come to Cang Qiong."

"This Disciple understands."

Luo Binghe didn't understand anything, but he also didn't want to check the smug System's list of side quests to explain what the fuck was going on. What did gamers call it? Smashing? He was going to have to smash through the side quests as soon as possible to figure out what his relationship with Shen Yuan was supposed to be so he could rehabilitate it.

At least he had successfully unlocked OOC. He didn't want to imagine what weird dialogue options the System would have fed him.

Shen Yuan left without another word.

[thecultofproductivity]

X.x y feel like all art I tuch bad.

Making animations feeling fake af because I didn’t make the rig from the ground up like it’s 2013.

Also the animations are kind of just actually disfocused like sh*t bc perfecting the workflow is genuinely the important part even just for this project f my development as an artist.

Okay cool I feel slightly better. Art art art

[alxclaremont]

had an absolute shit day at work, got off of work, remembered lando and oscar’s beef, almost started crying, went on twitter, saw that they ate mcdonalds and played monopoly on the plane back to monaco, almost started crying again, no longer feel like shit thank you and goodnight

[good-beanswrites]

My translyrics for Salamander, written out under the cut :D

This one was much more difficult than the last, but I'm still very satisfied with it! 😤 I'm both sad that my version lost a lot of the fun soundplay of the original, and also waaay more impressed with the lyrics and vocals after digging it like this! I tried to keep it balanced between the original and Fuuta's version, though maybe it ended up leaning more toward the cover, idk. Leaving my specific notes in the tags 👍

Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?

"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.

It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.

I want a taste, but all this spice may prove more than I can take, (eh?)

Something's on your mind. So spit it out and tell me, don't waste my time, kay?

I'm hooked on this, pass me a dish.

The way I'm starving here without you -- it's a crime

A spicy treat, put on repeat,

Can I get seconds with the same heat? One more time!

Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?

"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.

It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.

I can't stop anything, although I wouldn't want to stop, oh no --

Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.

I want a bite, I can't help giving in to this new appetite.

Again, again, I want to be on fire when I get to the end.

We live too fast, we burn to ash,

I never handled spices well and it's a crime.

A spicy treat, put on repeat,

Can I get seconds with the same heat? One more time!

I want to burn bright red

I want to burn bright red

Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?

"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.

Tell me I'm not alone in my mind!

Salamander~ Look what's happened to me. This pa- passion's crazy

Tell me I'm not delirious, I'm being serious.

It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.

I can't stop anything, although I wouldn't want to stop, oh no --

Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.

I want to leave I want to go, but I can never stop, oh no --

Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.

[saintcarrionn]

.

[irhabiya]

today sucked the life out of me ya Allah

[trash-bin-ary]

I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.

[mars-ipan]

i have my first infusion tomorrow and the Anxiety is kicking in and i am trying so so hard to keep it calm

[magpiesbones]

worst thing about being disabled is that now I am fully and completely aware of exactly how much I am worth to everyone I know. And it is not a lot!!

[aromanticasterisms]

iansan relevance right off the bat let's fucking go

[averysmallcetacean]

k I'm just going to talk about my friend rn cause I feel sentimental and have no one to talk to about this

They're genuinely such a lovely person guys like holy shit, they work so hard and are so intelligent and so compassionate and really fucking funny. They are so understanding and kind and they reassure me when I'm having panick-y days and we get on so well and have all these weird as shit inside jokes and literally just being with them makes me feel happier and calmer (and I hope that I make them feel at least a fraction of that (I think I worded this oddly sorry)).

I love them so much and I just want them to be happy and to see themself the way I see them. And like yh I'm terrified that they'll get bored of me and leave but like even then I'm not as worried cause I'm so glad I even got to be friends with them. I trust them so much and just, aaaaah. They are literally my favourite person.

[ierogenvy]

two messages in three days from two separate people and at this point i really do have to wonder if it’s me because. like what the fuck.