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I'm really happy to get to spend some time with my family and friends but i'll be honest, I'm kinda horrified at being back in my hometown for 2 full weeks...
#i never had a problem with my hometown went i lived there but like...i guess i'm over it idk#i think it's because i grew so attached to my new neighborhood#i like my city in general but i really really feel at home in my particular neighborhood and leaving it kinda pains me tbh#i wouldn't have a problem leaving it to go on a cool trip but to go back to the boring ass suburbia? it kinda stings#especially since every single time i go back there i learn that one of the few thing that made this place nice just closed down so..you kno
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well, it's all over and all i gotta say is that i didn't finished this semester, this semester finished me
#i'm sure i passed this last exam but i don't think i did *that* good so idk#i'll have to wait and see i guess#anyway i am tired#i am exhausted#i am over it all#so let's just move the fuck on
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Had to call my school to solve an issue and they quickly answered the phone and solved said issue almost instantly so I'm kinda assuming that however I talked to is actually an impostor who just got in the building and started picking up the phone because he was waaay too competent to be an actual employee
#i'm still amazed that he picked up the phone after like 12 seconds that's truly unheard of#the whole thing kinda felt like when you go to pick a full bottle only to realize that it's actually empty if you know what i mean#like that way way too easy wtf
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Well, I just submitted this thing and is it a bit too short? Yeah. Is it kinda bad? Yeah. But am I at least relieved that it's finally over? Not really tbh.
i just need 1500 more characters (without space), I don't even give a fuck if that shit is any good anymore fr, I just need it to be fucking over
#i'll be happy when i know for a fact that i pass this class and don't need to redo medieval philo for a third time#right now i'm just stressed out#if i only had the result of my final it would help me know how stressed i really should be but i don't so oh well#my tutor says my paper is ok but you never know...
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i just need 1500 more characters (without space), I don't even give a fuck if that shit is any good anymore fr, I just need it to be fucking over
#and no i don't know why my prof give us the number of total characters he wants and not a word or page number#he's the only one of my prof who does this because he's that quirky i guess#in any case i think i'm desperate enough to start adding useless ass adverbs and adjectives because i have fuck all left to say#also my tutor wants me to send him this draft too and like...#that's very nice of him but unless bro wants to just rewrite it all for me(which neither of us would actually be cool with i'm just playing#i don't really see the point#like it is what it is#i'll be happy if i get litterally anything over 50% i truly don't give a fuck anymore smh
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this paper is actually worth 50% of my grade
#i think i'm about to cry fr#i thought it was 40% and that was still bad but 50%?#just drag me out and shoot me like a rabid dog at this point#it'll be more pleasant than finishing this paper and submitting whatever trash i end up with
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This is still a fucking mood T_T
how it feels right now…
#i really need to just do it but holy shit do i struggle right now#i don't even think it's a motivation thing at this point i just...can't get myself to do it#i mean i will but holy fuck is this harder than it should be smh
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I have the entire day to finish writing about two pages of my philo paper based directly on the comments of my tutor on my first draft and it still feel so insurmountable, pray for me guys
#like this is very doable#shouldn't take me more than 3 hours at the absolute most#but i just...i do not want to do it guys#going to because it's worth like 40% of my grade maybe even more so...you know#but i still really don't want to do it T_T
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literature: — the godfather { m.puzo }
“These things have to happen once every ten years or so. It gets rid of the bad blood. And then if we let them push us around on the little things they wanta take over everything. You gotta stop them at the beginning. Like they shoulda stopped Hitler at Munich, they should never let him get away with that, they were just asking for big trouble when they let him get away with that.”
#i am obsessed with this#it got the vibe of the novel so well i love it#also the middle pic is like...*the* quote for this story imo#the godfather
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tfw a very sweet new mutual on historyblr direct message me some posts and i have to explain that i'm blocked by a non-insignificant part of this community because of the great The Spanish Princess War of 2019...
#the way this show made the absolute WORST come out of people that shit was insaaaane#people were out there coming at each others throat writing crazy ass callout posts worthy of 2012 tumblr and for what? for what?#a shitty ass starz period drama with ugly costumes and an extremely poorly written main character smh#also i say 'i'm blocked' but i also blocked so many people there that it's really a mutual thing and i truly don't blame them#i absolutely can be an obnoxious person when you already pissed me off and dead god did this entire mess pissed me off back then lmao#also i honestly thought both that show and that mess were in 2016-2017 at most i'm genuinely surprised that it was just 5 years ago#seriously tho i'm not blocked by 'that' many people it's like...a very particular subset of this unformal community#ifkyk lol
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I don't consider myself the most emotionally mature person on Earth but seeing parents say that they refuse to let their kids believe in Santa because they want to be the one who "get the credit' for the gifts is genuinely pathetic to me
#like you're really that pressed at your 7 yo not being grateful to you specifically for their christmas presents? ok.....#weird ass mentality as far as i'm concerned but ok....#honestly i respect not wanting to raise ungrateful little gremlins but that really sounds childish af to me idc#especially if they're really young like that's a toddler with no concept of money why do you even care about 'getting the credit' with them#anyway as somebody who worked as a mall elf and seen the pure joy and hapiness it brought children#i'm just not convinced in any of the anti santa arguments i've seen and i've seen quite a few#now i do think some children just won't believe naturally#and i even know some kids don't benefit from the concept of santa generally speaking#( i have a friend who was terrified of the concept of santa as a young child and had to be told that it was all fake)#but for the vast majority of kids? get the fuck over yourself and just let them believe in the jolly old man in red smdh
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BLACK CHRISTMAS 1974, dir. Bob Clark
#Bar is sooooo funny#she's not a final girl but she's my final girl in my own delusional brain#also i should rewatch this movie while i finally finish decorating my christmas tree#black christmas
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PC making biscuits 🥺
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I'm gonna need trudeau to put on his big boy pants and officially tell trump to stop 'joking' about turning Canada into an american state because this shit is truly unnaceptable on so many levels
#i mean he's not gonna do it because he's shitting in said pants when it comes to trump but he really should#and like...i know he would say that he can't afford to start a diplomatic argument#but if we actually had some self respect as a country that WOULD be a diplomatic incident in and of itself#but eh i actually see a lot of canadians who are brain dead enough to think that it's a good idea so maybe we should just do it#pedal to the floor straight into the wall 🤪#(btw i usually don't blog about politic but that shit irks me so bad i can't help it)
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“i asked chatgpt-” ohhh ok so nothing you are about to say matters at all
#litterally the instant i saw this post somebody i love and respect mentioned using chatgpt for their work in my groupchat 🙃#and like...that's probably fucked up of me but that makes me respect their opinion on pretty much anything less#which is probably a form of childish black and white thinking on my part but like...that's how i honestly feel#and i don't even think i'm wrong per say#especially considering that they openly recognize that chatgpt doesn't give any source for what it says#and change its answer if they ask enough questions#but somehow they still believe that it makes sense to use it as a tool in a professional setting because they handle a lot of informations#like ok. makes 0 sense to me but ok#probably childish of me to vague post against somebody i care for on social media too but learning that legit shook me to my core
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it's genuinely insane to me how vivid my dreams have been lately and i can't remember if that's how they actually were before I started smoking or if it's a new phenomenon
#i obviously remember dreaming as a child/teenager but i can't recall if my dreams were *that* clear and detailed#like yesterday i dreamt that i was at a restaurant with some dude i vaguely know and i can remember the actual pictures on the menu#i guess the thing about not being able to read in your dreams is real tho because i don't think i actually read that menu in my dream#i also dreamt of the house of the woman who was my mother's best friend when i was a kid#mind you i haven't been there in a good 15 years#and my dream included every single little details including the smell#i woke up like wow that was intense#i'm not complaining tho#getting those incredibly real dreams is so so much better than the horrifying nightmares i got at first when i quit smoking#they were realistic too so i would wake up feeling like i had visited hell during my sleep#dreaming about going to the restaurant or visiting a mall that's a mix of different malls i've actually been to is much less horrifying
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Just submitted my awful, shitty disgusting paper a bit over an hour late, genuinely unsure of if my prof is gonna choose to be an angel of mercy and compassion and not take late points away from it or not but eh, at least it's over I guess
#if he doesn't i should get a decent grade tho it's unlikely to be one that will truly satisfy me#if he doesn't...#which he's fully entitled to -i had the whole semester to do that thing and i knew damn well and right when the deadline-#well then i don't fucking know#i mean i will pass this thing it's not like i didn't followed the instructions or wrote something completely absurd#but like...#i will absolutely cry if i get anything under a B- for this thing to be entirely honest with y'all#and the fact that it's my own damn fault will make me cry even harder#anyway i'm starving to death i'm gonna go eat something and try to distract myself from how disappointed i am in myself#i got 3 exams in 2 days next week so i might as well start working on that after if i don't want to be just as depressed then
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