#want to disappear fr
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daydreamlng · 9 months ago
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hinamie · 10 days ago
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tiger lily
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lovetals · 1 year ago
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soft yandere wanderer who makes no effort in correcting people who assume you two are a couple. honestly, he puts in more effort to make sure you don’t tell them otherwise
if he notices you about to correct them he immediately steps forward to take over, claiming that it’s because he doesn’t want to waste any more time making idle chit chat with these strangers
“oh, that woman is not a stranger,” you explain, “i see her at least three times a week.”
…damn it
soft yan! wanderer who now realizes how much more effort it’s gonna take for him to trick everyone into believing you two are a couple without explicitly saying so. he starts to memorize your shopping routine so that he can start doing it for you. he complains that you take far too long and he can do it faster, but you and i both know that that’s not the truth.
he starts to familiarize himself with the local shop owners, making sure they know you and he are together.
‘doesn’t want to waste any more time making idle chit chat’ my ass; he’s using up so much of their time just to talk about you!
as rude as he may appear, everyone takes notice of how his expression softens as he talks about you, how his eyes grow fond and sparkle anytime the owners recount a memory about you, how eager he is to learn more about you
he didn’t think it’d require this much effort to make sure everyone knew that you were taken, but he doesn’t regret it one single bit
anything to make you his
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corpusdiem-seizethedead · 7 months ago
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Husk: How was your day?
Angel: Good.
Husk: Really?
Angel: Don't make me lie twice.
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enruint · 10 days ago
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clown jumpscare on the dash. the clown is me. i had this whole essay written out but i decided not to post that bc i am allergic to being perceived and to ever share what's going on with me. sorry chat if i were a character in a show or book i'd be the one the fans would psycho-analyze and decide that 'he'd rather have his nails pulled out one by one than share his feelings tf???' does that mean i'd be the dreaded fan fav?? having the most outrageous takes written about me??? i am joking. but also i am not. as in i am not joking about not wanting to share beyond the bare minimum on the dash right now. gotta keep up my clown face after all JHSABJKDDF anyway!! let me be srs for just a second: the one thing i will share is that i feel so burnt out. and that in turn makes me feel so icky when i log in here. i don't know what it is but i've been on a sort of semi-hiatus for 4 months alrdy and nothing really changed. i want to write here but i also don't want to. it's sickening honestly. i am going to put this blog on an official hiatus rn when it comes to ic writing until i know what to do. you're free to unfollow bc i really don't know when i'll be writing here and i hate saying that i will and then end up not doing anything. save for maybe writing some meta posts once in a blue moon, i don't think i'll be doing much. and even that i can't promise at this point. all this to say that i'll continue to be very scarce for a while. or i'll just remake. it's all up in the air for now. we'll see what future me decides.
#out of the nether❟ ooc ✧#also to anyone that checked in on me: thank you so much fr!!#sorry for disappearing JHSDBJJ i am so slow with responding but i will!! soon!!#that meme with jlo and ... i keep forgetting his name is just so ... me-coded idk how to explain it#HJSDAJKFK i am haunted by the time i accidentally called him rupaul ... while i meant to say paul rudd...#and i was STILL wrong bc apprntly that's NOT his name ✋ all these men look the same to me not rupaul tho#like i am so sorry queen forgive me that was my mistake 🙇#sjadhjka while i was away i lit set up 3+ mock blogs ..... 😭. and some random carrds bc i was like 'what if ...'#i still want to write some canon muses tho. srsly i WANT to but the idea of writing canon muses ... idk people are so intense about some#characters fr. and not in a good way. it makes me so ??? like pls. chill out i beg ✋ it's not that srs babes#anyway my current fixation is someone from a gacha name that we won't name but he's testing my resolve so bad#he and some others. including a mother(tm). i can still hear her adsfuhhakj sorry these tags have lit NOTHING to do with my initial post 😭#to anyone that knows me you know it takes me a literal year before i commit to anything. it took me a YEAR and a half#before i made an oc multi after yapping about it for so long. the same is happening to the canon multi#i've been saying this for almost a year too .... so ?? uuhm y eah. but also i have these two new oc's i really wanna write. but another#solo blog?? i cannot handle that. esp bc elyon is STILL in jail and i need to get them out of there asap. the loml. my cunty mage.#queen. horror incarnate. when i say i have a bias and i mention my oc's and it's not elyon? i am lying and u should put me down immediately#.. only isolde comes close to the favored bias. the rest of my muses have to settle for being 2nd sdhjafkjf#but fr. elyon has a special place in my heart. i love them sm. even when i don't write them i /always/ think about them#the rare times i think about fandom verses for my oc's elyon is the ONLY one that comes to mind. they're always on my mind. unmatched!#me mentioning elyon here fully knowing only some moots know who they are. it's ok SJKDAHJKF i have been gatekeeping them for a while ..#bc shit was getting weird.... ANYWAY!! i yap too much fr. enough with these tags. i am gonna go and try to catch up with some dm's#that have been marinating for .... uhm ... y eah. some time JHSDJK#i hope you all have a good day today!! 💃💃
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analogwriting · 11 months ago
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Star-Crossed
Chapter 15: Sŭrtse
Donquixote Rosinante x gn!reader
word count: 3.5k
a/n: thanks for the lore dump, pops
first|next
Oh man. You haven’t slept that good in ages. You couldn’t remember the last time you slept so soundly. Years, maybe? Since you were a child? Typically when you slept, it wasn’t ever really long enough for you to have too complex of dreams - if any at all. Usually, your past haunted your mind when you slept which is why you struggled with sleeping in the first place.
Lately, you’d only been sleeping so much because all of the emotions you were feeling were knocking you out cold. No dreams accompanied either.
But this time around, you slept well. No tossing or turning, no nightmares. You caught glimpses of dreams, but nothing to really string together to make something coherent. The feelings were all good, though.
When you slowly came to, however, you came face to face with a chest. And, completely forgetting that Corazon had shown up, you jumped, accidentally launched yourself off the bed, and crashing to the ground. You groaned, laying there flat on your back.
You saw Corazon scramble awake, looking over the bed with a face full of concern. “Y/n!” He jumped out of the bed, helping you sit up. “Are you alright? What happened?”
You only grunted in response, taking a moment. Man, your back was going to kill you later, you could already feel it. “I forgot you were here,” you mumbled. “Startled the shit outta me.”
The man frowned. “I’m sorry.”
You snorted, looking at him. “What the hell you apologizing for?” You just grinned, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “You just helped me sleep so well I had completely forgotten what was going on.” You winked, his face turning a bright shade of red as you watched his brain reboot. 
Marco burst into the room. “Aha!” He stopped, blinking. “Oh. Well. That’s not what I thought was going on. I heard a crash and thought you guys were having some wild sex or something.” He shrugged.
You felt your face set itself on fire. “Marco!” You stood up, running after him. He yelped, taking off. You ended up tackling him, quicker than he was and in moments you had him in a headlock. “Why can’t you just mind ya business, ya damn pineapple head!” 
Marco was letting out a strangled laugh, making your grip tighten slightly. “I yield! I yield!” he ground out and you let go of him, leaving him panting on the ground. “C’mon now. It was funny. You would’ve done the same thing to me.” He was sprawled out on the ground, trying to catch his breath.
You snorted, shrugging. “Yeah. That’s true. I definitely would’ve done the same thing.” You paused, looking at him. “Shithead.”
He grinned at you. “Glad to see you’re back in business. It seems like calling Corazon was a good idea,” he mused. 
You furrowed your eyebrows. “You called him?” The man in question was standing at the edge of the hallway, leaning against the wall. “He did. But only after I sent him a million texts asking how you were doing.” He frowned. It was clear he had been worried about you and neither of you had provided him any insight. You started to feel kind of bad for just…going radio silent on him.
Marco sat up, nodding. “That’s true. We were a bit preoccupied with trying to figure out what to do with the staff that suddenly lost their jobs. Sorry, Cora.” The large man shook his head, pouting slightly. “It’s fine, but an answer would’ve been nice.” 
You grinned, standing up and walking over to him. You reached up, taking his face in your hands. He looked at you with a startled expression, quickly turning red. “You’re cute when you pout,” you mused, squishing his cheeks slightly. 
“I am not pouting,” he said as he, in fact, pouted. You just laughed, kissing him softly before pulling away.
“Now, where’s Pops? I have questions for him.” You turned, looking at Marco. 
“Probably in the den doing his breathing treatments.”
You nodded, heading that way.
--
In the den, Pops was relaxing in a large chair with his feet propped up. He held an oxygen mask over his mouth, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. It was something you had him do for about an hour two or three times a day to help with his ailments. Mostly because the man refused to wear the oxygen tubes. This was the compromise.
He popped open an eye as you walked in with the other two. “Good to see you up and around, kiddo. Even if I did think you were going to tear down my damn house in the process.” He chuckled, setting the mask to the side and turning things off. 
“They used to do that all the time, you know.” He looked at Corazon, who looked frightened that he was being addressed. “The two of them were always fighting and wrestling like that. True siblings at heart, they are.” He laughed loudly, the sound bouncing around the room.
You just rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you plopped onto the couch, pulling Corazon with you. He seemed very stiff and you looked at him. “You don’t have to be so tense. Pops won’t bite.”
“I think you forget that I’ve only ever heard terrifying rumors about him. He was dubbed the strongest man to ever live at one point,” he mumbled to you and you just laughed. “I also had the same reputation, remember?” 
“Yeah, but I didn’t know that when I met you,” he grumbled, his face warming up. A small snort came from you as you patted his thigh. “It’s fine. I’m just giving you shit.”
“It’s good to see you in good spirits, y/n,” Pops mused and you looked over to him. “I was a little worried we wouldn’t get you out of that rut. Seems like we should’ve called your little boyfriend here a lot sooner, hm?” 
Your face immediately went ablaze and you felt Corazon start having a coughing fit next to you, probably choking on air from surprise. Marco laughed and you glared at him while trying to calm down the one next to you. “Well, better late than never, I suppose,” you mused, trying to move on from the topic. “Breathe, Rosinante.” For a moment you were worried he might actually pull something from his little fit but he calmed down quickly after. 
“Don’t scare me like that,” you mumbled. “You really gotta lay off the cigarettes.” You narrowed your eyes at him. His own face was already red; from Pops’ comment or the coughing fit, you weren’t sure. “‘M sorry,” he muttered, pressing himself further into the couch like he was trying to be invisible. 
“Anyway, Pops. There’s something I’d like to ask you.” 
You looked over, seeing that the old man was watching you with a fond look on his face. You couldn’t help but feel your own face warm up. It…somewhat hurt, knowing your father would never look at you like that again. Though, now that you looked back on it, was anything ever genuine? 
“Shoot.”
“I need to know what happened between you and pa-” you cut yourself off. He didn’t deserve his title of ‘dad’ anymore. “Between you and…Anthony.” It felt foreign saying his name in such a way, but that man wasn’t the man you used to know. He was nothing more than a stranger now.
Pops was quiet for a moment. “Were you ever told of the story of how your parents met?” 
You blinked. This isn’t what you asked, but you expect nothing less of Pops. An old man tangent, might as well just go with it. “Not really. I was still too young to really ask questions like that when we lost mamma and Anthony didn’t like talking about her after that anyway.” You shrugged.
The large man nodded slowly, thinking. You wonder what he was planning at this point. “Well, as you know, I’ve known your father a long time. We grew up together, being from allied families and all along with the fact we were the same age. I knew your father better than anyone. He was…much different than he is now. Even him pretending all these years with you wasn’t even your real father.” Your eyes widened. All this time, he couldn’t even pretend to be the man he had used to be? “Then what was he really like?”
Pops thought for a moment, stroking his large mustache as he did so. “Your father was a lot more playful, silly, and overall goofy.” You couldn’t help but glance at Corazon from the corner of your eye before looking back to Pops.
“This also made him very charismatic. Your father could talk his way out of any situation and get anyone to do just about anything for him.” He folded his arms, a fond smile on his face. “Came in handy most of the time, other times it got us into trouble. At our peak, we were unstoppable. We were a force not to be reckoned with. A dynamic duo. Though, it wasn’t as if we sought those titles. We kind of minded our own business and just defended what we had. We weren’t ones to seek more turf or go out of our way to steal other people’s cargo or anything like that. We just did our thing and kicked ass when someone messed with us. It was a pretty good deal we had going.”
You started to wonder where Pops was really going with all this. He seemed all over the place. You supposed that it has been a long time, so he was probably saying what he remembered and filling in the blanks as they came to him. You just kept quiet, letting the old man reminisce. 
“He met your mom in a coffee shop. She had just moved into town, wanting to start fresh. Your dad, the absolute goofball, tripped over something in her store, almost face planting before she caught him. He said it had been love at first sight.” You blinked, glancing at Corazon who glanced back at you. That’s exactly how the two of you had met back up. Well, you had been going to a coffee shop, but all the same. You looked back to Pops.
“However, your father didn’t want to drag your mother into all of this, so he tried not to see her again. As much as he wanted her, he knew she was starting anew and didn’t want to muddy her life. So, he avoided her. Only to meet her again in a park. He was on a jog and someone’s dog had bulldozed him, tripping him and he almost fell until-”
“Mamma.” You were astonished at this point. The second time you had seen Corazon, it was in a park. 
Pops nodded. “Mhm. Your mother. Your father had been a blundering mess but thanked her and ran away essentially. Actually, quite literally. He was breathless because he ran all the way to my place.” The large man laughed, the sound filling the den that all of you sat at. You couldn’t help but think that’s also exactly what you had done. Helped bandage up Corazon before somewhat running away so that no conversation could’ve happened.
“I had tried to tell him to go and ask her out, but he was still on about not wanting to drag her into his lifestyle. He did compromise though. If he had seen her again, he’d ask her out.” He grinned. “Then it happened again. He went to a restaurant, bumping into your mother and almost dropping everything, but she had so expertly caught everything and him as well.”
Again, it was the same as you and Corazon. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, your mind was spinning. How the hell was this possible? You looked at the man next to you who looked just as floored as you were. You reached over, closing his jaw. “Careful, you’ll get lockjaw,” you muttered before turning back to Pops.
“I know what you’re thinking. When Marco told me everything, I couldn’t believe it myself. The stories mirrored each other.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Seems that you and your mother just had similar taste in men.” You felt your face turn red at his comment. Seems like you were more like your mother than you thought. Sure, your father always told you that you were like her but that was because you didn’t like that lifestyle, not much else. At least he didn’t say if you were like her in other ways. The last comparison to your mother he made was being ‘weak’ like she was.
“The parallels are a little uncanny,” you mumbled, running a hand through your hair.
“Anywho, he asked her out the moment that happened. He knew he couldn’t fight Fate and it was obvious that she was at work. They hit it off. I had never seen your father so over the moon and happy with someone. It wasn’t too long after that that they became engaged, then the wedding. I’m sure that was your father’s best day of his life at that point.”
You thought for a moment, thinking back to your father’s words. “But, he said that he never really loved my mother.” You turned your attention back to Pops.
The large man shook his head. “That was a blatant lie. Your father loved your mother. He loved her so much. I could tell in the way he looked at her, the way he acted. He was head over heels. I think that’s a lie he tells himself. That he never loved her and just needed an heir. After all, your father had planned on leaving the family anyway.” 
Your eyes widened. “What?” Your own father planned on leaving?
Pops nodded. “Yep. After the wedding, it was announced that your mother was pregnant with you. Again, I’d never seen him so happy. At this point, your mother still didn’t know about your father’s real work. She still believed him to be a realtor. She was convinced your father would never lie to her. Which, she was right. He didn’t lie to her, except about that.” He thought for a moment, recalling.
“He had said that he wanted to leave the family. That he didn’t want to raise a child in a lifestyle like that. He had grown up in it and it was no place for a kid. At this point, I had been pulling away from the lifestyle myself. I had started settling down and I didn’t want to raise a child in the scene either. We both agreed to leave our families.” You were astonished. You never would’ve guessed and your father had held the same views that you did at one point.
“After you were born, your father was on cloud nine. It was the happiest and most joyous he had ever been. He was more convinced to leave the family. And he was on his way out.” Pops sighed, shaking his head. “He always kept in contact, but mostly minded his business, as he always did. Life was bliss for a few years. He was mostly out of the family business, he had you and her. You and Marco used to play together actually when you were real little. Before the two of you could even remember.”
You looked at Marco, who looked just as surprised. It was clear he’d never heard of this before either. What a lore dump from Pops on this fine day.
“Then there was your mother’s passing. Your father was distraught, as you know.” He paused, thinking. “What…do you remember of your mother?”
You were tense for a moment. Talks of your mother always made you incredibly emotional. “Uh, she was kind and never raised her voice at me. She was always warm too.” You hated that you didn't have many memories of your mother. The few you did have, they were happy. But it's been so long that you weren't sure how much was real and how much was fabricated. 
“Well, that's not wrong. Your mother was one of the sweetest and warmest people I'd ever met. She was patient and kind, always caring about the well-being of others. Sometimes even above her own. She was also incredibly patient, never raising her voice or growing agitated. I don't think there was a bad bone in her body.” There was a fond smile on his face. 
You felt Corazon interlace his fingers with your own. It was at that moment you realized you were crying. Anything involving your mother was instant water works. You sniffled, wiping your tears. “Sorry,” you mumbled. 
“Don't apologize, y/n. It's okay to cry.” Corazon’s voice was soft and comforting. “Seems like you really do take after your mother, though.” You just looked at him, feeling your cheeks heat up. You had always been compared to your father. People had always told you how much you were like him because of how well you fought and how smart you were. They always said you were a mini-him, perfect to take over the family.
“After your mother passed, your father was never the same,” Pops continued, bringing your attention back to him. “All of the light in his life seemed to disappear. Shortly after that, he completely delved into the life again. He took over the family and took you with him. That’s what your father and I ended up fighting about. I tried to make him change his mind, or at least keep you from being in that lifestyle.” 
He sighed, shaking his head. “He yelled at me, telling him that I had no right in telling him how to raise his child. But, it just went against everything that he had wanted. He wanted you out of that life and your father did the exact opposite. He started spewing nonsense. Saying that this had always been his plan. You were only an heir and that he never loved your mother. That it was all an act of some kind. I don’t know if he was trying to convince me or himself.
“I tried a couple more times to talk some sense into him and the last time was when he really tried to fight me. I couldn’t fight my own brother, so I ended up yielding. And I never bothered him again. The Anthony I knew died when your mother did, who he is now…that’s not the man I knew.” 
You just stared at Pops, not knowing what to say. Your head was spinning from all this information. Your father had always been kind, but he was never a goofball like he mentioned. There was always that wall that said he never fully let you in and you knew that, but he was still very fatherly. Now, you had no idea what to think. Was anything he said or felt genuine?
“I think, in the end,” Pops began again. “Your father does care for you. Or at least at one point it did. It’s possible that he has lost himself so much that he’s cut off any ties to anyone.”
Then you realized that you don’t think you told either of them what happened at your father’s estate. “He has another child.” Pops’ eyes widened. “Said he had her just so he could raise the perfect soldier. That I was too weak just like mamma. I could tell by the way they interacted that there was no warmth there.” Your face darkened. He had tried that route with you and when it didn’t work, he used a different method to bring up your half-sister. 
You couldn’t help but feel bad for her. She must’ve grown up in a cold environment.  From the sounds of it, she never knew who her mother was. Just Anthony. Ugh, everything was so fucked up and you didn’t know what to do.
“He purposefully didn’t tell me about her because he said he didn’t want me to convince her to walk away from the business like I did.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair. You hadn’t told anyone all of this yet, mostly because everything had happened so fast and you shut down even faster.
Pops let out a long sigh. “At least he knows that you have power and influence just as he had. You have the same charismatic charm that he did. People just naturally listen to you.”
You puffed out your cheeks, thinking. What were you going to do now? Now, you knew what happened all those years ago. There was a lot of information thrown at you. A lot of information that contradicted what your own father told you, but you were more inclined to believe Pops. After all, he’s never betrayed you in such a way that destroyed your entire life.
next
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callilouv · 7 months ago
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what makes people a friend to u
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scarlettcryptid · 6 months ago
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bnha fix-it fic ideas:
• shiggy and toga don't go to prison bc of post-war medical efforts uhhhhh rehab community service hero check ups
• hmmm touya healing slowly over time rehab soba time community service he hates paw patrol.
• mr compress what do u oh nvm u wanna continue wall fjcking geten ok that's fair.
• spinner is studying writing (rewatching bakuman) and taking art classes at his rehab center.
• hawks does smth in honour of twice and toga is still angy but she knows it'd help other ppl like twice so she reschedules hawks' assassination for a later date.
• am i forgetting,someone. oh kurogiri. wel obviously he is making shiggy a milkshake.
• lov shows up to pride but people stop caring when cementoss arrives fashionably late in drag (he showed up at thr wrong place)
• gran torino dies
• deku's dad shows up but we don't even see his face he's just a random body barely in the frame also he looks like jack midoriya
• sansa the cat cop quits being a cat cop and creates an asmr baking youtube channel it is sansa's dream
• someone throws a tomato at endeavor
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ticklepinions · 2 years ago
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Nah cause...
Lee mood was so bad... had to chew on my thumb. Embarzzing
Anyways I was cuddling with me friendos and I was in the middle being spooned by both of em.
We were just goofin around and one of them said something hilarious and we were all cackling. In that moment I was just like wouldn't it be cool if they started tickling you. And I was just playing scenarios in my head for a moment. Like we're all cozy already and laughing our heads off, it would be so "natural" to just tickle the person in the middle. Ahahaha. I'm so normal about tickling guys
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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months ago
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re: deh imagining one last connor project meeting before the timeskip / finale to discuss what to do regarding the almost complete fundraiser, like as fraught & reluctant as anything, jared's here to be fully in the know about anything that could be done or said, alana being less sure of whether the story is true Or worthwhile than ever but we still aren't told anything like "oh these are her definite thoughts on things" & she isn't exactly sure she wants to or needs to wring thee truth (or agreement on anything) from evan so she's not doing that either....meanwhile in a reversal of that pre wtaw introduction of alana & jared, it can be evan kinda taking the lead on most Dialogue Exchanges here, asking them whatever even tentative indirect questions about what are we gonna do here, could be already evan able to have that bit more confidence / motivation. disappear reprise, might not be as dissimilar to the dynamic we got there while forming tcp still lol but thwarting alana & jared disappearing after ywbf reprise....things would be left fairly open-ended And Yet that what we see next is [the orchard has been planted after all] so....
#deh#jared not willing to say Anything basically like rip to dialogue opportunities but feels apropos. many possibilities#but then of course the Different & Promising opportunity in turn for him to still not get fully sidelined despite this#& always much to consider like what might alana or anyone want to ask jared about all this? but prob nothing more than she would evan#so if she's not dying to get the truth from him / gave up on that anyway like probably not gonna expect or want it from jared either#whether or not she supposes he particularly knows anything about that or not#mostly a sort of Tense Unhappy talking around the idea of Just seeing the orchard through#like who knows; could be as relatively simple as like orchard owner(tm) has all the plans & logistics & it's mostly the funding#& plausibly nonzero involvement....question of how much alana would Like to be involved. question of if she wants to still do this at all#& for jared like again he might basically care to know if he's still caught up in this / it'll be a problem going forward on a Practical#basis. & then underlying All Of This is how it relates to considering all their feelings & relationships tangled up in this stuff lol#the Practical Purposes motivations vs what if this isn't True but is a genuine expression of other motivations & feelings we have going on#much to consider. plus ofc makes sense the movie didn't also just smash cut from sbss to the finale scene#& that in doing so ofc makes sense alana & jared did not Disappear then either. but not a lot of act two focus in general there fr so
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gfwooyo · 11 months ago
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not me hoping for a happily ever after for a ship in a slasher 💀 BUT LIKE. CAN THEY PRETTY PLEASEEEEE
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voxxian · 6 months ago
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I'm so happy to see that there's some activity here, you kind off disappeared all of the sudden and was so worried. I hope that you're doing well and just know that there's still people who care about you here in Summerfield 💗
- Stephany
hey stephany. sorry the activity you see on here isn't from me being active, is from my pre-set queue that just runs without me. this is my first time logging in and seeing this. i actually logged in to prewrite a farewell to life note for future posting when it's time to actually post it (which i guess i won't do right now since i saw your message) so seeing this was actually shocking. im really sorry i did that, after that whole fight i got into with my dad everything kind of came crashing down and ever since i have just been in a really bad dark place struggling with my mental and physical health (which the physical health is destroying my mental health) and that coupled with recent events has had me like over the top suicidal
it's really sweet that you even bothered to message me, especially since i have absolutely nobody to talk to and no friends for various reasons some of it due to my shitty failures amongst other things.
i have always had a really bad relationship with sticking around and stuff because of my upbringing and right now im struggling very hard in life and i just don't want anyone to see that. i am really really unstable, i have next to no support, my finances came crashing down on me a month ago and my car is breaking down while im in the negatives, and i am in a state of being suicidal like 24/7 and i just feel like i can't talk to anyone. my body right now is ruined and it's affecting my employment and my relationship with just about everyone is non-existent besides literally 1 person and life is just really really really difficult. im still considering ending it, because i just don't think the suffering that's been getting worse and worse the last ten years will stop tbh. nothing is looking up. everything is just getting worse and worse and worse and im really close to a breaking point
i don't want to get all dramatic on my blog that i literally am never on but since you even bothered writing i feel like i owe you an explanation for my (unjustified) behavior and disappearance
it means a lot to me still that you've reached out and even bothered to check on me. even in the midst of all this hell it really does mean something special to me. i didn't even think anyone cared. usually the people i talk to disappear on me or just show me through words and actions that they don't want to be a friend to me or, in some cases, just don't want to be a real friend, so i just thought i did everyone (including myself) a favor by disappearing from the world because normally people are just fine and really don't care about me and i just become a thing of the past. it's crazy to my mind that you even still think about me because i feel like i was nobody to even care about after leaving.
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kavehayati · 6 months ago
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I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way
#it’s more so selfishness lmao#idk I’m getting unnecessarily worked up about this but 6 months ago I kinda vanished off of everywhere and then I noticed she deleted some#messages#girl I would’ve responded later calm down gosh the messages aren’t going anywhere nor are they disappearing#dora daily#I think of all people who should be mad you’re the last one because tell me why you were so viscerally rude to me since the beginning and#played a massive part of the roaa situation by being complacent when oh ! I thought you’d side with your alleged best friend ME#girl you have no right to complain at all not to mention you take FOREVER when you have no excuse to reply back but when I’m struggling I#apparently have zero excuse ☠️ girl bye#not to mention the fact that when I was so frustrated with myself having these bad headaches and being so incapable of doing anything when#exams were so close all you had to say was what can I do#well bitch what could I have done when you were at hospital#I guarantee you I was the only one texting you 24:7 asking how you were#reassuring you that it’s okay to feel upset about being in the fucking hospital and you don’t need to have such toxic positivity all the tim#oh but when the other girl had freaking back pain from her period or something apparently that’s more of a concern#girl bye#not me who has chronic headaches and cannot even study and nothing sticking cause it’s that bad#oh but go ahead compare it to your chronic illnesss like yes it’s horrible and yes it impacts you a lot#but I don’t think it impacts your brain and memorisation capacity#not to mention how fucking jealous she is of everything like I can say oh god I was so stressed and girl she has not felt stress in her life#compared to what I go through yet she is jealous of the fact I can stress ? tf?#and when I say I almost passed out cause of exhaustion she doesn’t give a shit when I was being so serious#in truth I’ve come to realise nobody does seem to care at all lmao they all think I’m lying#why would I lie about that be so fucking fr rn#anyways this is why I simply don’t want to talk about my physical condition with anyone anymore because they’ll think I’m a liar anyways 🤷‍♀#not to mention the fact if you even knew me a little you’d understand that it’s so impossibly hard for me to feel comfortable enough to#complain to talk about me feeling sick or sad or whatever I only do it here cause no one follows me and no one will rlly see it at all#but even here I feel like my throat closes up and I can barely breathe when I do complain#so pls …#this one sided friendship thing is crazy cause girl how do I shake you off?
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diari0deglierrori · 7 months ago
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Imagine avoir une crise de nerfs à même pas 11h du matin
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satanfemme · 8 months ago
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I'm going slug mode
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andreaheartscats · 8 months ago
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i just wish i was living in a random apartmant building at the top and just chilling on the balcony in my pjs while watching over the city life being wild. Of course with a good ciggarette OR..or a joint with a nice cold drink. Is that too much to ask for..? (heres the answear: probably..yea.)
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