#voxxreplies

[voxxian]

I'm so happy to see that there's some activity here, you kind off disappeared all of the sudden and was so worried. I hope that you're doing well and just know that there's still people who care about you here in Summerfield 💗

- Stephany

hey stephany. sorry the activity you see on here isn't from me being active, is from my pre-set queue that just runs without me. this is my first time logging in and seeing this. i actually logged in to prewrite a farewell to life note for future posting when it's time to actually post it (which i guess i won't do right now since i saw your message) so seeing this was actually shocking. im really sorry i did that, after that whole fight i got into with my dad everything kind of came crashing down and ever since i have just been in a really bad dark place struggling with my mental and physical health (which the physical health is destroying my mental health) and that coupled with recent events has had me like over the top suicidal

it's really sweet that you even bothered to message me, especially since i have absolutely nobody to talk to and no friends for various reasons some of it due to my shitty failures amongst other things.

i have always had a really bad relationship with sticking around and stuff because of my upbringing and right now im struggling very hard in life and i just don't want anyone to see that. i am really really unstable, i have next to no support, my finances came crashing down on me a month ago and my car is breaking down while im in the negatives, and i am in a state of being suicidal like 24/7 and i just feel like i can't talk to anyone. my body right now is ruined and it's affecting my employment and my relationship with just about everyone is non-existent besides literally 1 person and life is just really really really difficult. im still considering ending it, because i just don't think the suffering that's been getting worse and worse the last ten years will stop tbh. nothing is looking up. everything is just getting worse and worse and worse and im really close to a breaking point

i don't want to get all dramatic on my blog that i literally am never on but since you even bothered writing i feel like i owe you an explanation for my (unjustified) behavior and disappearance

it means a lot to me still that you've reached out and even bothered to check on me. even in the midst of all this hell it really does mean something special to me. i didn't even think anyone cared. usually the people i talk to disappear on me or just show me through words and actions that they don't want to be a friend to me or, in some cases, just don't want to be a real friend, so i just thought i did everyone (including myself) a favor by disappearing from the world because normally people are just fine and really don't care about me and i just become a thing of the past. it's crazy to my mind that you even still think about me because i feel like i was nobody to even care about after leaving.