analogwriting

[analogwriting]

Smut Pieces

found out that you can only put so many links in a post so i'm going to slowly separate my works. here's the PORN

∞ Not So Childhood Crush (Killer) (afab, amab) ∞ Favorite View (Killer) - afab, amab ∞ Beer Pong (Killer) ∞ Recovery (Cora) - afab, amab ∞ The Walk-in (Killer) - afab, amab ∞ Heat Waves - afab, amab

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 12: Show Pony

Killer x gn!reader word count: 1.3k a/n: SURPRISE THERE'S TWO! since the holidays are coming up, i'm going to be out of town so idk when the next chapter will be up, so i gave y'all a twofer tags: @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth, @h0n3y-l3m0n05 first

After vacation and without school, you were able to actually focus on forming your band. You had all just been practicing on your own for the most part while you finished up school, so that once you practiced together, it would be just chaos.

You had been working on songwriting too. You had a lot to say and a lot to get out, so it came pretty easy. Hop actually helped you compose a lot of it, surprisingly Dive was good at it too.

The four of you worked fantastically together and it wasn’t long before you had a solid set and a few songs perfected. It took all summer, which in the grand scheme of things, isn’t a long time. Hop found a work-from-home job as did Bubblegum, Dive kept her job, just moved to full time, and you started to work on the band full time. 

After perfecting your sound and abilities, you really began to lock in.

Bubblegum, Papas, and Reck actually came over to help convert part of the garage into a recording booth so that you could record the songs and start posting them.

Emma helped out with flyers and a website. She had a graphic design degree, which helped a lot in creating eye-catching logos and such. She created the band logo, some basic merch for whenever you guys would get to that point. 

You even recruited your friend Quincey. She was a couple years older than you and had graduated a while ago, now a successful fashion designer. When you finally revealed your grand plan to the friend group at the graduation party, she was more than willing and ready to help design costumes and such for your sets. 

She had taken your concepts and initial ideas for costumes and made them even more beautiful and wonderful than you could’ve ever imagined. She created several, too. She had grown bored and dull at her job, at a creative art block, but this seemed to help her get through that. She was designing things left and right and now you guys were set for a good long while.

UK and Gig, both being film majors, helped you guys create a couple of music videos as well. You shot everything around the town and at the house, so there wasn’t too much production cost.

You tried to pay your friends for the efforts, but they wouldn’t take your money. They were more than happy to help. After all, this affected all of them and they said it was payback for taking care of them all those years that you let them crash and whatnot at the house. Lots of ‘this is what friends are for’ and such.

It became everyone’s passion project, so you made sure to work as hard as you could to make sure everyone’s work paid off.

You talked to venues, setting up small gigs here and there in surrounding towns. Once you had a website, some social media profiles, and all that for the band, you began to pick up traction.

--

Another year passed and you took off. You went viral on the internet for a couple of your songs and agencies began to reach out to sign you. News stations and podcasts began to interview you to learn more about your little group. You didn’t do too many interviews, wanting to keep that mysterious side of you. You didn’t want too much out there on that aspect, you just wanted your music and vibes out there.

You turned down countless agencies. You were waiting for one in particular. You were waiting on DQE. You weren’t sure how long you’d be able to hold out, though you were doing just fine on your own. Your degree came in handy, you were able to manage your own band pretty well, but having an agency to help with production costs and just everything overall would definitely help.

It would be less on everyone’s shoulders. And your friends that helped out in the beginning weren’t able to help out as much, which was fine. They had lives, after all. 

They were all extremely supportive, coming to shows when they could, hyping you up on their socials. Some of them were still in and out of the house. Though, since the four of you were always travelling, you started locking the house up when you left - so all of your friends now had keys to the house.

All of your efforts would pay off. After a show in a sold out venue, someone approached you after the show. “Hey, is there a manager that I can speak to?” You looked up from behind your mask - you didn’t go anywhere without it. Plenty of people tried to take it off of you, interviewers tried to heckle you, but nothing worked. You refused to let people see you - all of you did this. Not a single one of you were seen without your masks, which also helped in general. You could just continue your other aspects of your life without trouble.

Bubblegum had even adjusted the masks and fitted them just right so that they were almost impossible for people to rip off as well. He was dedicated to the cause.

You straightened up from putting your guitar into your case. “That would be me.”

The man looked at you, confused. He was a very tall man. Blond and had a surprisingly kind aura to him despite the intimidating look he was trying to put on. “You also manage the band?” he said.

You nodded, putting a hand on your hip. “Yep. Gotta put that degree to use somehow.” You shrugged.

His eyebrows raised and he nodded, clearly impressed that you were able to juggle that. “Impressive.”

You nodded, looking at him for a moment. “So…is there something I can help you with?”

“Oh, yes.” He shuffled in his jacket for a moment, looking for something. “My agency has taken notice of you and have been watching you for a while…now where is that darned thing,” he mumbled, sliding off his jacket.

You watched him with an amused expression, not that he could see it. He shook his jacket, only to drop it and somehow simultaneously trip over it, immediately tumbling to the ground. Luckily, you had cleared off most of the stuff on stage, so nothing went down with him.

You raced over to him, helping him up. He accepted it, letting you help him stand. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit on the clumsy side.” 

“Clearly.”

He noticed something on the ground. “Ah, there it is.” He bent over to pick it up, smacking his head on the only mic stand that was still on stage. “Ah, fuck.” He was lucky it was off. 

He rubbed his head as he held out his card. “Sorry about that. Anyway, we’ve taken a notice to you and would like to sign you guys. Though, why haven’t you been signed yet? I would imagine people have been scrambling to get you guys under their label.”

You shrugged. “Waiting for the right label. No one had enticing enough perks, so we’ve just been staying independent,” you said, taking his card from him.

“Though,” you said, a grin spreading across your face under your mask. “I’m sure you guys might have what I’m looking for.”

The man blinked in confusion. “Hm?” 

You didn’t pay him any mind as you stared at his card. Finally, after a year and a half of hard work, it was finally paying off.

DONQUIXOTE ENTERTAINMENT.

DONQUIXOTE CORAZON. SENIOR MANAGER. 

(555)761-0715

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 11: Black Mambo

Killer x gn!reader word count: 2.8k a/n: wowzers, i didn't take a million years to upload?????? tags: @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth, @h0n3y-l3m0n05 first|next

“What the hell do you mean you’re gonna form a band?” Hop asked. It was now several hours later in the diner that you lot had somewhat unofficially decided was the new hangout spot. You had called an emergency house meeting, telling everyone to meet at the diner as soon as they were done with work.

“I mean exactly how it sounds, what do you mean?” You looked at Hop and rolled your eyes. She narrowed hers at you and scoffed. “You?” You nodded, folding your arms. “Yes, me.”

“But you hate having attention on you. Besides, Kid’s been asking you for years and you’ve always turned him down. What-”

“I know, I know. I’ve always been too nervous, but I think I’m just so angry that I’m willing to put up with everything just to see them suffer.” You were filled with such malice and anger, you wanted to make them suffer. You might not be a violent person, but there were other ways to torture someone. 

Bubblegum snorted. “Again, loving the villain arc we’ve got goin’ on.”

Hop sighed, watching you for a moment. “Alright. Well, who are you gonna be in this band with? What exactly is your plan?” 

“Well, you guys, of course.” You looked at her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world because, to you, it was. “I’m going to sing and do some guitar. Bubblegum is gonna do synth and stuff like that, Dive’s gonna do drums, and you’re gonna do bass.” Since your ex-friends were in a band, everyone had played around with the instruments at some point or another. 

Hop had taken a liking to the bass. She loved the deep, guttural tones you could create with them. Bubblegum was all about making weird noises and inventing things so synth and overall sound control made sense. Dive was just chaotic and was pretty good at holding a beat, so drums were perfect for her.

“That’s actually a pretty solid lineup,” Hop said. The other two nodded along with her. Maybe her answer was a little biased because it was, well, them.

“But what about us in general? They’re gonna see us and immediately shut us down no matter how good we are at all this,” Dive said with a scowl on her face.

You nodded, having already planned everything out. “Yes, yes. I figured that’s where we can get a bit artsy with it. You know how much I love themes and concepts. So, I figured we could all wear masks. Not only that, use Bubblegum’s mechanical engineering degree to our advantage to make some voice modulators.” 

Bubblegum blinked for a moment as he processed what you said before nodding along with it. “True. It wouldn’t be hard. I could definitely design some masks that change our voices.”

“It would just need to be really crisp if it’s gonna not mess up your voice, right?” Dive looked at you, her eyebrows scrunched.

“I have complete faith in Bubblegum’s capabilities. I’m sure he can make it to where it sounds like it’s not going through some techie whatever and it’s completely natural.” So, technically it wouldn’t be your authentic voice coming out. It would be higher or lower or something along those lines whatever he decided he wanted to do.

Bubblegum grinned, puffing out his chest a bit as you gassed him up. You chuckled, grinning at them. “So? Are you guys in?”

“What about classes?” Dive tilted her head to the side.

“I mean, it’s going to take time. We graduate next semester. So we can work on our concepts and putting things together and then once we graduate we can start really leaning into it. I’m not going to say ditch school and work to do this because that would be insanity. Always gotta have a backup plan.” You snorted, shaking your head. Sure, it would drag out your plans to make this more of a back burner project, but you weren’t about to ask your friends to completely sacrifice their lives for this since it wasn’t a guaranteed thing. You’d rather go at a reasonable speed so there was a backup plan.

You wanted to fuck ‘em up, but not everyone else.

Hop looked at you for a moment before she snorted, shaking her head. “Okay. I’m in.” She put her hand in the center of the table with a grin. Dive began bouncing in her seat. “Oh this is gonna be fun!” She put her hand in the middle too. Bubblegum grinned. “You know I’ve been all for the revenge plot since the beginning.” He put his hand in the middle.

Again, with the overwhelming support of your friends, you wanted to cry. You smiled, putting your hand in the middle with them. “Let’s fuck ‘em up, I guess?” You didn’t have any profound words but it was enough to make the others cheer and throw their hands up.

--

That night, all of you planned on what your themes were going to be. You decided to just really lean into the vibe that your ex friends were traitors and took names around that. Dive was Hurt, Hop was Anger, Bubblegum was Betrayal, and you were Revenge. Sure, it sounded like some edgy teenage concept thing, but it was kind of fun.

You also went with color concepts. Dive was purple and blue with a couple accents of green and yellow; like a bruise. Hop was different shades of red and orange with flicks of yellow; like the emotion of anger. Bubblegum was black and blue with flecks of purple; like the sadness and void you feel when you feel you’ve been wronged. You were black and red; the black representing the void and emptiness you feel after everything settles in and the red was the anger you felt that eventually could lead to revenge. You also made sure that you had flecks of the other colors as well to really tie everything together because after all, it took all of your ‘emotion’ characters to end up with revenge. 

It was a very rough concept but you figured you could iron it out over time. This was literally the first night anyway.

--

For the most part, things went as normal as you did your planning and research. You focused on school and your job as did the others. Your friends were in and out of the house just as it was with your old house, which finally sold. Now you had a nice nest egg to fall back on just in case everything goes horribly wrong somehow.

The history of DQE was interesting and the more you found out about the founder and CEO, Doflamingo, the less you liked this guy and the more red flags popped up. You scoured the internet, finding out everything. 

Turns out he was suspected of a few murders? But you were assuming because of his fame and wealth, he was able to sweep it under the run and make it look like some horrendous accidents. It just all seemed really suspicious, but you weren’t here to solve murders you were just here to fuck with your ex and his friends.

It came to a point where you could see the boys on screen again. It sucked watching them because they were not the boys you grew up with and loved.

“What the hell are they even saying? Why is Kid acting like that?” Dive made a face of disgust.

“Why are any of them acting like that,” you piped up from the back of the living room. The trio looked at you, scrambling for the remote. “No, it’s fine. Let it play.” You wanted to see the absolute train wreck of people they had become. 

It seemed like the more famous they became, the more fake they became. They weren’t genuine, they were all playing parts and you weren’t a fan of it. “The real question is, are they actually like this or are they being told to act like this,” you mumbled to no one in particular.

“I wish I could show them more of themselves. I wish I could make them somebody else so they could see how they're behaving.” You shook your head. You could see that the interviewer is eating them up though. Everyone who sees them falls in love and they eat that shit up. You watched Killer chat shit, but where was the real him?

You see him acting all shy and bashful for a moment as the interviewer complimented him and you scoffed, rolling your eyes. Such a switch up. He fakes his shyness now? He was acting cocky just a few weeks ago in another interview.

“I think fame just fried their brains. Some people just aren’t made for the spotlight,” Bubblegum grumbled, folding his arms. You knew if he had a chance, he’d punch each and every one of them in the face so hard they wouldn’t be able to breathe through their noses.

And you didn’t blame him.

Seeing them on TV only motivated you and the others to work harder. 

--

The four of you didn’t really do anything as a group, just individually working on your own things. The semester flew by and next thing you knew, you were all graduated. 

At this point, it’d been over a year since you’ve seen Killer and his groups. You kept tabs on them, but you tried to not let it completely consume you. Killer seemed to have dropped whatever girl he had been seeing, Kid had a new person on his arm every other week, Wire wasn’t in the limelight too much and Heat was always going viral for some crazy stunt every other week.

Though, you weren’t really thinking about them right now as you were currently at a beach house your entire friend group pitched in to rent out in celebration of a handful of you graduating. 

“I can’t believe it’s finally all done. No more school.” Bubblegum sighed, as he sprawled out on the towel below him. 

You cracked open one of the many alcoholic beverages in one of the many coolers spread amongst your friends. “I can’t either. I thought it was never going to end.” You snorted, shaking your head as you took a swig of your drink. Towards the end, it felt like time slowed and every day was so long. Probably because you were just ready for school to be over.

“Whatcha guys talkin’ about?” Dive skipped over with Hop and plopped down in the sand next to Bubblegum while Hop sat by you under your umbrella. 

“Nothing, just enjoying the fact we don’t have to be in school anymore.” You smiled, looking out to the water. You watched as Gig took Pomp and chucked him far off into the water. You laughed, shaking your head. “Not too far, Gig! I don’t wanna have to go out lookin’ for him!” 

He looked back with a nod, saluting you. “Aye, aye, cap’n!” Then he turned back around to retrieve your small friend.

“Now that we’re all together and the stress of finals are over, I want to show you all what I’ve created.” Bubblegum sat up, digging around in a large suitcase that you somehow didn’t notice before. 

“Is it the masks?” Excitement began to seep into your voice. 

Sure, you haven’t really practiced together very much because everyone was focused on their own thing, but you all were still very much going to give them a taste of their own medicine.

“Correct.” He pulled out a mask. “I was thinking, only you really need a voice modulator, y/n.” You blinked, tilting your head to the side. “Why?”

He looked to the others and they nodded. Clearly they had decided something without you. Your heart sank. Were they going to pull out? You didn’t blame them, this was your own personal vendetta and anger, you didn’t expect them to go as far as you were.

“Well, your voice would be the most recognizable, for one. You spent more time with them than any of us. Yours is the one they’d recognize if any.” Hop spoke slowly, letting you grasp onto her words. You nodded, understanding. She was probably right. You were with them every day for so long, they’d know you best.

“And,” Bubblegum started, focusing your attention on him. “We also figured that you would probably be answering questions and such if we did interviews and taking charge. Being a leader and all. I know with your music and management degree, you’ll be the one dealing with everything.” He shrugged.

Your eyes widened. You didn’t expect to take full reins, but you’d accept the responsibility since this was all your plan. Not that you really planned on doing a boatload of interviews. You wanted to keep that mysterious shroud over you.

“If anything, I might make Hop one too, but hers will be a lot less advanced and more obvious, just to shield her voice,” Bubblegum said. It made sense. She was your second in command. If anyone would understand your vision and be able to answer questions as if they were inside your head, it would be her. 

“Dive is going to have a muzzle because we all know she’s impossible to keep quiet,” he said with a smirk, causing the smaller woman to whine in protest. “I’m not that bad! I can shut it when needed…” She folded her arms and pouted.

“Though…it would look cool.” She grinned widely. “I’ll take it actually. Sounds cool as shit.”

Everything was slowly coming together. The four of you graduated, so now it wasn’t work, school, and the side project. It was now just a side project until the four of you found work. You all had your part time jobs, but you’d have to start looking for official jobs. Selling off your house gave you a nice nest egg to cover bills if needed, but the four of you bringing in money covered the bills easily and usually your friends would pitch in with something as they came and went. You never asked, but everyone just pitched in here and there as a token of gratitude kind of thing.

“Well?” You looked over to Dive as she spoke. She rolled her eyes. “Try it out!” She grinned, sitting up excitedly.

“Yeah, I wanna see how well crazy ass did.” Hop snorted, making Bubblegum roll his eyes as he finally pulled it out of the bag. 

You carefully took it, looking it over. It was exactly how you envisioned it. It screamed revenge. It looked angry, hurt, betrayed - it was perfect. “Oh wow, ‘Gum. You really outdid yourself.” It was also sleek and extremely lightweight. He really went all out on using the most up to date stuff, it almost just looked like a normal, durable mask.

“I know, I know. I’m great. Now try it on.” He shooed your words away, clearly aching for you to try it on already.

You put it on, and it almost felt like you were wearing nothing. You could see perfectly fine, breathe just as well. It was impressive. Truly ahead of its time. 

“Say something already!” Dive was getting impatient and you could tell in her little pout.

You chuckled, hearing it come out a little distorted, making you jump. “Oh shit.” Again, it was distorted, but not in a bad way. It also seemed to be changing, as if it was adjusting to your voice.

You tested it out by singing a couple of bars. It sounded like a normal voice, just not quite yours. It was really uncanny.

“Damn, Gum. I knew you were good, but not this good,” Hop said in complete awe. Bubblegum sat back on his hands looking smug.

“Used all the most top notch equipment in the lab. It really paid off being the top student in class.” He snorted. 

“That’s because it was the only class you liked. You were shit in your other classes,” you said with a laugh. It blended your voice well and with how it was set up, it didn’t fuck with you to hear it as you spoke either. He really thought of everything. 

You slid it off your head and handed it back to him. You didn’t know just how durable it was, so you didn’t want to break it with sand or anything else.

He set it back into the case and set it off to the side. “We’ll just have to test it out by doing a set. I don’t know how long you’ll be able to wear it.”

“Well, it’s lightweight and I barely felt like I was wearing anything. It was kind of crazy, honestly. You really outdid yourself.” You grinned at him and he beamed.

“Now, let’s enjoy the rest of our vacation before we gotta turn into actual adults,” you said, standing up and running out to the water.

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 10: Lost in the Ocean

Killer x gn!reader word count: 2.8k a/n: surprise!! haha! there's twwwoooooooo taglist: @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth, @h0n3y-l3m0n05

first|next

Having help made this a million times faster. It also helped you keep it together. You thought you were going to breakdown and lose it, but so far it wasn’t too bad, but you hadn’t tackled Kid’s room or yours and Killer’s yet. You knew it was going to stated getting harder once you reached those areas.

People took what they wanted that wasn’t yours. Though, even some of your own stuff you didn’t want. You had a get rid of pile that people occasionally shuffled through and if no one wanted it, you were going to donate it. You didn’t care about making money off of these things, you just wanted it out of your house. You wanted it all gone. For the most part, things were being kept by other members of your friends group. 

It took about a week to clean the rest of the house up aside from the bedrooms. You hadn’t even thought about the fact you hadn’t really gone through your mom’s room since she passed. It seemed you had a lot of things to face these next few days.

Now, it was just you and the three that were usually with you. Everyone helped with the bulk of everything else. The rest of the house was cleared out and cleaned out. No evidence of anyone having lived there. It was weird.

“Are you sure you want to tackle this today? We can wait a couple of days. I know it’s been exhausting thus far,” Hop said. You shook your head. “I’m on a roll. I’ve already come this far.”

You took a deep breath as you stood in front of your mother’s room. You felt someone take your hand, looking over at Dive as she smiled up at you. “I’m sure she’s fine with the decision you're making,” she said with a shrug. “That she understands.”

You took another deep breath to keep yourself from breaking down. That’s exactly what you had been thinking this whole time.

“Your mom was badass.” You looked over at Hop. She was the only one, besides the boys, who had met her before she died. “She wanted nothing more than for you to be happy. I know she’s proud of you. And probably working overtime wherever she is to make sure Killer has a shit time from now on.” You snorted and nodded, smiling sadly.

She was right. You knew your mom was happy whatever you decided. She just wanted you to be happy. She didn’t want you to just keep the house cause it was hers. She wanted you to do whatever you wanted. 

You opened the door to her room for the first time in years. Everything looked exactly how she left it all those years ago before she went to the hospital. You didn’t break down like you thought you would, but instead you were filled with nostalgia. Maybe it was because you’ve cried all your tears or maybe you were more prepared for this than you thought.

Man, you didn’t even know where to start. You figured you’d start with the simpler part. Clothes. You and her didn’t match aesthetics, so you probably wouldn’t wear a lot of her stuff. Though, you did keep a few of her sweaters to wear. Her clothes didn’t smell like her and maybe that’s what made things easier to let go. 

For her jewelry, you kept some of it. You got rid of the stuff she hardly ever wore and the stuff you knew you’d never wear. Hop picked something out too. She adored your mother, just as everyone who had a chance to meet her did. 

You tossed out all of her make-up, only keeping her perfumes. It was just cheap stuff you get from the general store. Your mother was a book lover, as were you. You read a lot of her books, so you decide to donate the ones you had already read; keeping the ones you liked most and the ones you hadn’t gotten to yet.

Then there were the pictures. You knew you weren’t going to be able to look through her albums. She also loved scrap booking. You weren’t going to throw it out, but you wanted to eventually go through them. You knew you couldn’t. Not now. You decided to just go ahead and put those in the keep pile. 

It took a few hours and the sun was setting, but you were finished with your mother’s room. You had hauled off all the furniture to donate, standing in an empty, freshly cleaned room. You looked around, sighing softly. Your voice bounced off the walls, making the room feel even more empty. 

A weight somewhat felt like it was lifted off of your shoulders. This was something you had put off for so long and now you were able to check it off your list. You knew having a shrine that was your mom’s room wasn’t exactly a good thing, but you just had never been able to face it. But, here you were.

“Feels like a chapter is closing,” you said out loud, knowing Hop was at the doorway. You turned to look at her.

“Well, we have two more chapters to close whenever you’re ready.” You nodded. “We can start on Kid’s room tomorrow.”

“You sure?”

You nodded. “We’re so close to being done and I just want to get it over with.” You sighed, shaking your head. You were so close to the finish line that you couldn’t stop now.

“Any update on this grand scheme to get back at the boys?” Bubblegum popped up in the doorway this time. You looked at him and shook his head. “Not quite. I feel like there’s something teasing at the back of my mind but it’s not hitting me yet. I’m sure it’ll come to me like some kind of crazy epiphany.”

Bubblegum snorted and nodded. “Sounds good.”

The three of you headed back out. “About time to get Dive, yeah?” You looked over at Hop and she nodded. Dive was working today.

“Then, let’s go grab her and catch some Z’s. Got a long day tomorrow.”

--

You’d been sleeping surprising well the last few nights. Maybe it was because you’d been working so hard on making sure to get the house in tip top shape to sell. 

Going through your cousin’s room was less hard. Probably because you were pissed at him. You put pretty much all of his stuff in the pile to get rid of. However, you did come across some pictures of you and him. You and the boys. It was just a shoebox of photos. You had no idea he had this and somehow that made shit hurt more.

You couldn’t bring yourself to throw that out. It was the only thing in your keep pile.

You threw out most of the furniture. It was scraped up, broken, and beyond saving - there was no donating that stuff. Cleaning his room was also a nightmare. There was just little bits of bullshit everywhere. He was like a packrat.

Soon, it was night once more. It was a lot of work, but you had it completely cleaned out and emptied. You were almost done. Just one more room to go. You were almost done with all of this. Then you could sell everything and wash your hands of the place.

--

Today was the day. It was time to clean out your room. You’d left it closed, not even wanting to be able to look in it. Now you were going to need to deal with everything head on. You weren’t sure how you were going to react. Were you going to be sad? Angry? Numb? You had no idea.

Hop was the only one with you today. Bubblegum and Dive both had work. She'd been by your side every day through this whole thing and you were forever grateful for her. You tried to tell her you could do it on your own but she insisted.

You walked upstairs, not hesitating. You were going to rip off the bandaid. You walked straight into your room, stopping in yout tracks. You looked around for a moment.

Just like everything else in the house, it looked exactly how you left it. You had come back a couple of times to grab clothes, but that was about it.

Surprisingly, you didn't feel much of anything. Perhaps the sheer anger that settled itself in your heart numbed the pain. You let out a long sigh, just ready to get this all over with. You began to throw all of his clothes into the get rid of pile, not wanting to so much as see them really. You didn't need them, he obviously didn't need them or he would have taken it. A lot of the stuff you had gotten him, he'd taken with him. He probably threw it all away. 

The thought soured your mood further. You decided to take a break from his stuff, focusing on boxing your stuff. You took this time to also get rid of things you didn't really wear or don't fit anymore. You also tossed everything Killer had ever given you to the pile of things to get rid of. 

The room was just full of memories. That first friend you had, that worst thing you said, that perfect moment, that last tear you shed. All you’ve done in bed. All that was on the memorex CD’s around the room, all dancing around your head. It was giving you a headache but you were determined to finish this. 

“You know, when all this started - him going to the city. I really thought I would end up there with him. We’d grow old together. Living in the city with a dog, maybe a baby. Though not sure on that one.” You let out a weak laugh as you looked through your things with a fond look on your face. “Maybe he shouldn’t have left. He should’ve stayed. Treating his partner, give everything to us, our life just as I did. Everything I did was to better our lives.” Hell, you were going taking courses on management and shit so you could be their official manager one day and look where it got you. 

Hop frowned deeply. She knew you were hurting and had no idea what to do for you. 

“I tried so hard for him. Far too hard, for far too long. Gave it all and everything for more time with him. But in the end, I still lost.” You didn’t think it would come to this. You felt like crying but you couldn’t. You’d already cried out all the tears you had. You were fresh out. All that was left was emptiness. “I miss him…that boy went stone cold crazy…”

You picked up a picture of you and Killer by the seaside. You couldn’t recall exactly where you were in the photo, but somewhere fun. He took your hand and made you run. Run up past the piers to the seafront, the two of you climbing up the cliffedge and taking the plunge into the chilly water below.

5000 steps in your wet clothes. He had scooped you up into his arms and you had your own wrapped around his neck. You ended up on the patio sitting on a towel, drinking soda with tangled legs. You wouldn’t forget how he looked at you then. 

“Y/n?” You look up, not realizing that a couple tears had escaped and ran down your cheeks. You shook your head, sniffling and tossing the photo in the trash. “Sorry, lost in thought.”

“You don’t gotta apologize. This shit sucks. I’d be worried if you didn’t cry at some point.” She snorted, going back to her task at hand. “He’s caught up in the camera’s lust and he’s chasing that pappy’s pipedream,” she grumbled, shaking her head. 

You had actually been avoiding the news and the internet lately, you weren’t sure if you could handle seeing Killer hanging on that woman anymore. Or even just see them enjoying themselves while you’re over here falling apart.

A deep breath later and you go back to what you were doing. 

--

After you finished up the room, you looked around. “I’ve got to head to work, are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home? You sure you’re okay?” Hop looked at you with concern. 

You sighed and nodded. “Yes, Hop. I’m going to be fine. I told you a million times already.” You chuckled, grabbing the bucket of cleaning supplies. It was a bit of a rough clean because the last couple weeks you were here alone, you didn’t really care about upkeep. It wasn’t terrible, just a little messier.

Hop frowned. “If you’re sure.”

“If you keep worrying like this, you’re going to be late.” 

She snorted, holding her hands up in surrender. “You’re right. Okay, okay. I’m out then. Text me when you get home.”

You nodded, waving her off. You planned on giving the house a quick once over before heading out.

A crack of thunder sounded overhead and you jumped. The lights flickered a bit. “I should head home soon,” you mumbled. You could do finishing touches later. 

As you stood in the empty livingroom, you looked around. Once again, the flood of feeling overcomes you. Up comes the water of emotion, you no longer can see the clear coast of your mind. Your heart dragging on the ocean floor as you fall to your knees. You couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of everything. Laughing and crying and kneeling on the ground. You want to scream at the top of your lungs. The rain outside fell harder.

After a few moments of losing whatever little sanity you had left, you wiped your tears and slowly stood up again. You sniffled, the thunder cracked again, this time knocking the lights out. “Fuckin’ great.” You took that as your cue to get out of there.

With a huff, you threw on your jacket and headed out to your car. You run to the car, getting soaked on the way out. You let out a small laugh of disbelief. Of course it’s raining right now. Just to add to your shitty time. 

You felt like you were slipping further and further away, an itch of panic growing in your chest. You closed your eyes for a moment. You leaned back, taking a deep breath in. You sat there, listening to the static of the car as it waited for you to connect your phone for music. You hated what was on the radio most times. It was always something stupid or some stupid commentary you didn’t care about. You decided you’d rather just listen to static before you connect your music.

After turning on some music in the background, you started to pull out of the driveway. The power was knocked out and with it raining buckets it was hard to see anything. You start to lose yourself in your mind again, memories coming back up. 

You missed the simpler times of making ramen noodles, laughing at him in your mom’s clothes when you were younger. All the home made movies your mom kept. You had tossed them but part of you wondered if you should’ve kept them.

Without realizing it, you were really letting go. Your heart was beating faster, your foot pushing the pedal to the floor. You can’t fight it, you can’t breathe. Next thing you knew, you were spinning out of control.

Panic really started running rampant as you pumped your breaks, twisting your steering wheel any which way, trying to get it to stop. Your life flashing before your eyes. Was this really how it was going to end? You lose everything, betrayed by those you loved, only to die alone in a car crash? 

“Please don’t worry.” Killer’s face and voice with that wise little smile that spoke so safely. 

“You should join my band!” Kid’s voice rang through your head. 

That’s it. That’s what you were going to do. “I’ll be damned if you’re the death of me,” you mumbled to yourself. All the panic inside of you disappeared and you were able to take control of your car, stopping it from spinning. 

You continued on like nothing happened, calling Hop from inside your car.

“Is everything okay?” She answered on the first ring, her voice filling the car.

“Everything is fine. But I figured out how to get back at them.”

“Oh?”

“I’m gonna start a band.”

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 9: whatthehellishappening?

Killer x gn!reader word count: 2.6k a/n: cheat sheet for the group chat - giggles is Gigs; papas fritas is Papas; queen of munchkin land is Dive; emme fatale is emma; get rekt is Reck also i hope i do this right but taglist?: @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth, @h0n3y-l3m0n05

first|next

As you neared the building, you felt anxiety building up inside of you. You weren't exactly confrontational nor were you confident. Hell, you hated having attention on you. Unless it was your boyfriend but that was different. 

Well, depending on how the following events were going to happen, he might be your first, and only, ex. You knew that if Killer was going to do this to you and it was real, you'd never be able to trust anyone ever again let alone enough to be in a new relationship. You'd rather be single for the rest of your life. 

And it just might piss you off enough that you extract some kind of revenge. Who knows.

“Try to hope for the best.” Dive piped up from next to you and you looked at her, nodding. She was right. You couldn't flood your mind with what ifs right now. You had to hope this was all some insane misunderstanding or something.

However, you were expecting the worst. You weren't going to get your hopes up. 

When you walked in, a woman with long black hair was behind the desk . She didn’t even bother looking up. “Welcome in, do you have an appointment?” Her tone sounded bored.

Hop was the one to speak up, knowing you had serious anxiety when it came to confrontation. 

“We don't have an appointment, but we're here to talk to someone.”

“I can't let you in without an appointment.”

“C'mon. We just need to talk to Killer and his crew.”

The woman scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You and every other fan.”

“No. This is his partner.” She gestured to you.

You gave a sheepish wave and the woman looked you up and down before laughing. “Heard that one before.” She snorted, shaking her head. 

“Killer is dating a celebrity and you're obviously not her.”

You felt your soul crush in that moment and you regretted coming along. You regretted all of this. Sickness built up in the back of your throat.

Anger seeped from Hop. “That's because he was dating them when this happened. He cheated on them and we're here to get some goddamn answers.”

The woman seemed unphased like she'd truly seen it all. As if this was a normal thing. “Yeah. Sure. Well, either way. He's not dating them now. So leave before I call security.”

Panic was hitting you. Humiliation. You wanted nothing more than to crawl in a hole and die. 

“No, not until I speak with Killer!”

“He's not here anyway. He's at his current girlfriend's house. You know. The one he cares enough to flaunt about.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure if he actually cared about your little friend, we would’ve heard about them, hm? So you and his ‘ex’ get out of my damn lobby.”

You heard loud laughing from down the hallway and there came the boys. You immediately froze in place, you and your friends. They were laughing and pushing each other around - like they always had. Kid being absolutely loud, Killer and Wire quietly smiling, Heat cackling like no tomorrow. 

They stopped across the room from you, looking at the four of you. Killer paled as if he had seen a ghost - they all did. Before any of you could act, they hurried away. No. That wasn’t right. Something was wrong. They wouldn’t… You could feel the anger radiating off of Hop once more.

“See? They want nothing to do with you. Even if they were to know who you are. Now get out of my lobby.”

Hop stepped towards where the boys went but you grabbed her arm. Something inside of you snapped and numbness washed over your body. “Let’s just go.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. You wanted nothing more than to get out of here. You heard Dive sniffle next to you. You looked over, tears forming in her eyes too. You looked at Bubblegum, the hurt and anger showing on his face as well. 

“It’s best if we just go.” You looked at Hop. You saw the anger in her eyes dim a little and she sighed, nodding. “Fine.” 

The four of you left quietly. Not a word was spoken as you climbed into the car and headed home.

--

The car ride home was silent aside from the music playing quietly just to fill the silence. Hop was stewing, Dive was crying on and off, Bubblegum was brooding, and you were…you weren’t sure. You didn’t feel like this was real. Nothing felt real. How could they throw away two decades worth of relationships down the drain? 

You’d known them the longest, obviously. But they still knew everyone else for quite a while. Hop, Bubblegum, and Dive being the oldest friendships they had outside of you. It wasn’t like they were tossing away a couple months worth of friendships.

When you arrived at the trio’s house, you immediately beelined to the room you had been crashing in while Killer was gone. You locked yourself in there, everything finally pouring out of you. 

You weren’t sure how long your emotional breakdown lasted or when exactly you passed out from it, but you woke up to knocking on your door. “Y/n?” It was Hop. 

You slowly sat up, realizing you never made it to the bed, you had just been curled up on the floor. You looked around; several things had been broken, pictures had been ripped apart. It seemed you just had a crashout. You could only imagine now the others were feeling.

As you moved, your body felt like it was full of sand. You moved slow, your movements stiff. Everything hurt, your head was pounding. Hell, even your vision was a little blurry. 

Another knock, a little more concern behind it.

“I’m coming,” you mumbled. “Just…trying to move.”

“Take your time.” Hop’s voice was soft.

Eventually, you made it to your feet and to the door. You opened it, revealing not just Hop, but the other two as well. “How was feelin’, bud?” Bubblegum was the one that spoke. Concern stretched across their faces. 

You sighed, nodding. “I’m…alive. I guess.” You put your hands on your hips.

“Well, Bubblegum updated everyone in the group chat. Everyone’s pissed and distraught. Naturally so,” Hop said, her eye twitching. You knew she wanted to tear them apart limb from limb. 

“I made some cookies if you want some!” Dive piped up, smiling up at you. You smiled weakly back at her. “Thank you. That sounds wonderful actually.” 

From the look of Hop and Bubblegum, however, it seemed that wasn’t the move. Then you remembered the last time she made cookies and they turned out to be hockey pucks. You began to backpedal real fast. “I should probably eat some actual food first.”

Dive seemed satisfied with that answer. “True. I can make-”

“No!” The three of you suddenly exclaimed all at once. You went for a not-so-smooth recovery. “Ah, why don’t we go out to eat something? I’m sure we’re all exhausted and honestly something incredibly unhealthy and disgusting sounds fantastic.”

Dive rolled her eyes. “If you don’t want me to cook, just say it.” She shook her head, turning to head down the hallway.

The three of you sighed in relief. Sometimes she took that well, sometimes she didn’t. The last time the three of you said you didn’t want her to cook, you all woke up with some crazy contraption that set off when you woke up and doused you in water and feathers.

It took forever to clean up. The three of you treaded lightly ever since. Maybe she decided to have mercy in light of recent events. Either way, the three of you hoped she wasn’t going to do anything. She always liked to wait until you least expected it.

--

The four of you chose to go to the new diner that had popped up in town within the last couple of months. You had hoped to bring Killer here but now that was never happening and you couldn’t bring yourself to go to the usual diner. Too many memories and everything still hurts.

The three of them talking about nothing while you racked your head trying to make sense of things. Why was this happening? Did their heads really get that big? Did they really go the cliche route of forgetting their friends when they finally made it? Something felt wrong. The looks on their faces when they say you - like they had seen a ghost.

Well, you supposed the four of you probably were ghosts of their pasts now. Nothing more than memories. Did they even think about you guys? Did they really just put all those years of struggling and support down the drain? Anger began to fill you. No more sadness, no numbness. Just pure, unadulterated rage. Now, more than ever, you wanted fucking answers. Did they really not have the balls to tell you to your face? To face any of you?

“Y/n?” 

You were yanked out of your thoughts and brought back to reality. You looked down to see you had completely bent your fork out of the anger you were feeling. 

“Oh. Sorry.” You worked on trying to straighten it back out.

“What are you thinking about?” Hop’s words were slow, careful. 

“About how those fucking cowards didn’t even have the fucking guts to face us. Who the fuck does that? Years of nothing but support from us and this is how they react? We even go as far as to go and see them and they can’t even nut up and face us? Oh my god I’m fucking pissed.” You let out a laugh of disbelief.

Hop looked relieved to see you like this. You were sure she was unsure what you’d do in your saddened state.

It was all coming to you at once. If they wanted to do that, then you could do the same.

“I’m going to sell the house. I’m going to donate all of their shit.” You were fuming as everything hit you. The anger stage of grief. “If they want us out of their lives then fucking fine. I’m not going to waste my time crying about it. I’m almost done with college. I’ll fuck off and do something better.” Sure, it was going to suck not having the one you loved most next to you.

“But I want him to know that this won’t break me. Maybe it’s some weird fuckin’ fantasy. I don’t want to just mope around.” You clenched your jaw as you felt your anger settle in and plant a seed. “I want revenge.”

Bubblegum spoke up, snorting. “Alright. I’m all for the villain arc. But, how the hell are we going to do that? We couldn't even see them and I’m sure they’re gonna have people keeping an eye out for us.”

You deflated a little. You hadn’t thought that far. “I’m not sure yet, but I’m sure it’ll come to me,” you grumbled as you stuck another bite of food in your mouth with your mangled fork.

“Well, when you figure it out, let us know. We’re in,” Hop said. The other two nodded. You looked at them all for a moment. You were so lucky to have them. The others too. Without them, you weren’t sure you would’ve made it through this. You were going to make sure you turn the boys’ world upside down. For all of you.

--

That night, you surprisingly slept like a rock. You were determined and full of hatred but the pure emotion was making you exhausted. You slept so hard your dreams were filled with nothingness. Not a single dream to be had.

You woke up relatively early the next morning, filled with determination and vigor. It was time to pack up your house. You teetered back and forth from selling everything or just donating it. You didn’t want to bother with all of this more than you had to.

You texted the group chat. 

You rolled your eyes and smiled as the phone popped off for a little bit. You moved to get ready. You showered before checking your phone again, finally saying something else after thumbing through what was said before you left.

You once again shoved your phone in your pocket as you went to eat some breakfast. You were the only one awake or here. Hop went back to work, Bubblegum was still asleep.

“Makin’ breakfast?” Dive shuffled into the kitchen, stretching and groaning. “What are we gonna eat?”

“Well, I was just gonna make some loaded hash browns.”

“Load me up.”

You snorted at her dumb joke as she sat at the kitchen island, waiting for you to cook. You decided to open up your phone again and respond one more time before locking in to breakfast.

You snorted at Dive’s shitty joke as you started on making breakfast. You looked in the fridge, making a mental note to go shopping later. You forgot that the lot of you had just been on vacation but everything was mostly empty. Someone must’ve gotten the most basic supplies yesterday or while you were in breakdown mode. 

You scrounge up what you could, beginning with breakfast. 

--

After breakfast, you set out to the house. Dive asked if you wanted her to go, but you wanted to face it by yourself for now. You weren’t sure how you were going to take being in there. You wanted to face it alone before you dragged everyone else with you.

As you arrived at the house, you heard a car skrrt in behind you. You turned around as you reached for the handle.

“Y/N, IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH THAT HANDLE WITHOUT US I’M GOING TO CRASH OUT.”

You jump, turning around to see Hop climbing out of her car with Dive and Bubblegum. Ah, Dive must’ve sent an SOS. You should’ve guessed. 

“What the hell are you thinking? Doing this without us? Fuckin’ please.” Hop rolled her eyes.

“Well, I wasn’t sure how-”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re in this together now. Plus, it’ll be faster if we’re all here, yeah?”

Then you saw a few more cars pull in and around the house. You blink, confused. You watched as all your friends began to pile out of the cars. 

“Figured it’d be faster if we were all here than you posting pictures of shit to have people claim it.” Hop grinned at you. 

You felt tears well in your eyes. “You all didn’t have to do this…”

“We used your house for yeeears as a hang out spot. The least we could do is help you out a lil bit,” Papas said as he came down the driveway. 

You sniffled, quickly wiping away your tears. “Well…then I guess we’ll do this together.” You turned back around, opening the house for the first time in months.

Naturally, everything looked the same. It still looked exactly how you left it. Since everyone had switched to going in and out of the other place, you had locked up your house. No one used it anymore, so a nice layer of dust covered everything.

Hop and Bubblegum began to go around, opening windows.

“Let’s get started then,” you said with a nod of determination.

[analogwriting]

i swear im workin and tryin not to make yall wait like that again 😭😭

[analogwriting]

the true cycle of life

[analogwriting]

So I don't know if you remember me because its been a long time since I've been on your blog, but I seem to have stumbled on it again in my search for amazing fanfiction.

Long story short, I was re-reading Childhood Crush (again ik) and I just had a brilliant thought.

Freak on a Leash by Korn fits Killer a little too well I think...

Anyways your writing still keeps me on the edge of my seat even after knowing what happens! It's easy to see how you put your heart and soul into your writing and as someone who enjoys writing and reading a little more than the average person I can seriously respect you for it.

first first of all, i am so sorry i am just seeing things. life has been I N S A N E.

first of all, youre absolutely right about freak on a leash. its perfect *chef kiss*

second, THANK YOU??? 😭😭😭 youre so sweet!! i try my hardest to make sure things flow well and seem natural. it makes me so happy that you enjoy it so much

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 8: Hazey

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3.4k a/n: oh my god im so sorry (again). i wasn't expecting the fuckin' ao3 curse to fuckin' get me jesus fucking christ anyway first|next

This can’t be. This couldn’t be happening. Not to you. Not with Killer. This was impossible.

Yet…there he was, making out with some random woman dressed in Versace. She was wearing a hideous pink feather coat and jumbo jewelry. You thought you were going to be sick. Your stomach was turning and doing flips. The room was spinning and you weren’t sure what would happen if you tried to move right now. You felt like you were suddenly lost in the ocean. A flood of feelings taking over - most you couldn’t identify.

The screen before you flipped off and whatever trance that had you trapped let you go. Immediately, you fell to the ground, only to be caught by someone - you weren’t sure as your surroundings became blurry. Tears were running down your face and you couldn’t breathe.

In the distance, you heard voices. They were far away and you couldn’t focus enough to make out what they were saying. You were in a dreamlike state. Unsure of what was real and what wasn’t at the moment. As you sat there, suddenly a wave of nausea came over you and you ran outside. Bursting through the balcony doors, you headed straight for the railing, emptying the contents of your stomach - which wasn’t a lot considering you hadn’t eaten dinner yet -  into the sand down below. 

At least everyone was inside so they weren’t in the splash zone.

For a few moments, you stayed like that - bent over the railing, panting heavily as the world continued to spin. You felt a hand on your back, rubbing it gently and it wasn’t long until you felt other people appear behind you. 

Reality suddenly hit you like a brick wall and you finally began sobbing. Loud, ugly sobbing. You could barely breathe, coughing as you choked a little on your own spit and mucus, your head hurt - the whole nine yards. A pair of arms pulled you in for a tight hug, sinking down to the floor with you as you dropped your body. A wave of warmth washed over you as your friends gathered around you for a large group hug as you sobbed your eyes out.

--

When you woke up, your entire body felt like it was made of lead. Your face felt swollen, your eyes could barely open, head pounding so hard that it affected your whole body. 

Then reality smacked you again, reminding you what you saw last night. Sniffling, you moved to wipe your eyes only to realize you couldn’t move your arm. In fact, you couldn’t move anything. You blinked away your tears, looking around. All of your friends had pushed a bunch of beds together to make one large bed, all curled up in mounds of pillows and blankets, clearly having wanted to stay close to you.

You felt like crying more, the headache coming as you felt your nose begin to run again while you laid there and silently cried. You were heartbroken. You couldn’t believe what happened, but you knew you’d be in a worse state if your friends hadn’t showered you in their love. You laid there, feeling so alone despite everyone around you. How are you so loved and so lonesome?

Dive, who had been wrapped around one of your arms, stirred slightly before slowly opening her eyes. “Ah! You’re awake.” Her voice was quiet and full of sleep. 

“It’s fine, D. Go back to sleep.” Your own voice was hoarse, barely audible. Your friend mumbled something before settling back down, falling asleep almost instantly after readjusting herself closer into you.

The warmth of your friends and the sheer exhaustion from your emotions was enough to knock you clean out again; not that you particularly wanted to be conscious right now. 

--

You woke again a little later, not quite sure what the time was or how long you'd been out all together. Hours? Days? Who knew?

Your body still felt like it was being weighed down with bags of sand. Everything hurt, your head was pounding, mouth drier than the Sahara Desert. Didn't that place flood recently? Maybe that's why everything was crashing down. The world was ending. That was the only answer you could come up with why the hell this was happening.

An aroma of something delicious entered your nostrils, but honestly the smell of food made you sick to your stomach despite it growling loudly. Ugh, feeling everything all at once sucked major ass. Hungry but food made you feel sick.

With a small groan, you slowly sat up - successful this time. A quick glance around the room showed that the big, large bed was still made. No one else was in the room, though. A cup of water along with, what you were assuming were, painkillers. 

You could almost cry again. Your friends cared so much. What would you do without them?

Well, you had a feeling of what but didn’t dare dwell on it. 

Two painkillers and some self pep talk later, you slowly slid out of bed. Moving was hard. You sat at the edge of the bed, staring off into space with a million things running through your mind - a million questions. All of them pertaining to what the hell happened - why? Had you done something wrong? Were you too mundane? Too weird? Too everything all at once? Did you say too little? Did you say too much? You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs.

 Was this some kind of publicity stunt? Surely it had to be but…when you thought about his recent behavior, it didn’t point to that. If it had to be something that he was being forced to do to stir up attention, he would’ve told you about it to prevent you from freaking out. Or asking you if it was okay with you.

The other weird thing was the lack of communication from your cousin and other friends. Why haven’t any of them reached out? To any of you. No one has heard anything from any of them. Their behavior was beyond odd to all of you. No one could get a hold of them, so it’s not like you could go call them up.

You grabbed your phone, staring at it. No missed calls. No texts. And you knew it was the same for your friends. All of you were in the dark with whatever the hell was going on. You felt tears forming again and you took a deep breath as you clicked on Killer’s picture, putting the phone to your ear as you tried calling him. 

And calling. And calling.

You weren’t sure how many times you tried calling but it went straight to voicemail every time as if his phone was dead. You felt tears beginning to fall again. You started to try the others. Your cousin, Heat, and Wire.  All the same. No one would answer. Straight to voicemail. 

What the hell was going on? This was completely unlike all of them. Surely they weren't just pretending all these years. That would be some straight up fucking insanity if that was the case. Fame couldn’t have gotten that far into their heads, right?

You tossed your phone on the bed, burying your face in your hands as you tried to calm yourself down. You were full blown sobbing again at this point, body shaking. You felt so betrayed. The people you trusted the most in your life left you in the dust. It felt like the ultimate betrayal and you didn’t know how to cope with that.

--

You weren't sure when you fell asleep but you sure knew when you woke up. 

Hop burst through the door with a determined look on her face. “Pack up, we're leaving.” No explanation and a no nonsense tone in her voice. She meant business.

You blinked, slowly sitting up. Your face felt tight and dried out from your tears, your head pounding, body feeling heavy. “Huh?” You rubbed your eyes with a small groan, trying to process what the hell was happening right now.

“I said we're leaving.” You blinked. Leaving? Why? Did you ruin the trip? Was this because of you? You felt terrible. Though, you supposed this whole fiasco soured everyone’s mood, not just yours. Everyone was close with them, after all.

“Why? I thought we had a few more days?”

“I didn't say we were going home.”

She was gathering your suitcase, tossing your clothes inside. You watched her for a moment while your brain was still catching up. Then you shook your head. 

“Hop-”

She tossed a water bottle at you. Whether she was ignoring you or didn’t hear you, you weren’t sure. “Drink up. I'm sure you're dehydrated from all the crying.” 

“Hop.”

She didn't seem to be listening as she moved around the room to bag your things. 

“Hop!”

She stopped looking at you, tilting her head to the side. “Hm?”

You shook your head, slowly climbing out of bed and stumbling a bit to find your footing again. You must’ve been in bed longer than you thought. “What's going on?”

She looked at you for a long moment. “We're going to them.” You blinked. Huh? Where? Who?

She sighed, noticing the confusion on your face. She put her hands on her hips, looking at you - straight into your soul. “We're going to their stupid label and finding out what the hell is going on.”

Your eyes widened, speechless. “W-Well, I don't want to b-”

“I swear to fuck if you think you’re going to be a bother after what he is doing to you right now, I’m going to beat some sense into you.”

You just stared at her, your heart starting to race. “B-But work-”

“Your work will be fine without you. Besides, you don't technically even need that job anyway. You're about to graduate and get a better one anyway.” She nodded, moving again to resume putting your things away. 

You just watched her, mind racing again. Going to see him? But it was so far away. And he was busy. And - And -

And she was right.. With all the bullshit he's been pulling - all of them. You deserved some fucking answers. You had every right to be pissed and upset. You felt anger begin to bubble within you.

“Dive and Bubblegum are coming too.” You looked up, not even surprised. The three of you were your own little quartet especially after Killer left. If one of you were going somewhere, the others surely followed. “They're already packed and ready to go.”

She slammed your suitcase shut, zipping it before picking it up. “Now, pull yourself together and let’s fucking go get some answers.”

You felt like you could cry again. Tears welled in your eyes as you nodded with a small smile, standing up to get ready. 

--

After another crying session and a hot shower, you were ready to go. You said goodbye to the rest of your friends. They were gonna stay behind, finish out the rest of the vacation and get the money’s worth. As much as the lot of you wanted to storm the place, you didn't want to cause a crazy ruckus like that - no matter how much the boys deserved it. 

“Come oooooon, y/n. We've been waiting FOREVER!” Dive’s voice rang through the air from the van. She was always dramatic.

“Oh, y/n!” You turned around, seeing Gig come over. He handed you a small tupperware. “I know you didn't eat yet today, so I made you breakfast to go. Make sure you eat it.” He smiled widely at you.

He looked past you to Hop and she nodded. “Don't worry, I'll make sure they eat every bite. They're gonna need the strength and energy if we're gonna rip some new assholes.”

You couldn't help but snort at her comment. You looked back at Gig, giving him a hug. “Thanks, big guy. I'll be sure to eat it all.” You nodded at him but before you could go anywhere -

“GROUP HUG!”

Next thing you knew, all your friends surrounded you, making a massive dogpile of a hug and you almost burst into tears again. Despite everything you were going through, they made you feel so loved. A dark part of your mind was questioning if it was all fake - like with the boys. With Killer, but you shoved that part far away. You weren't about to let such dark thoughts take over your mind. This was all you had holding you together. That was a road you didn't want to go down. 

You let the warmth and love wash over you, getting rid of those more rancid thoughts. 

--

After some more heartfelt goodbyes and see you soons, you were on the way. Your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest with how crazy it was beating. 

The four of you talked about some nonsense. You ate your breakfast that Gig made you. He wasn't the best cook, but you weren't complaining. It was also an incredibly sweet gesture.

“So what's the plan?” Dive asked. 

You looked back at her before looking to Hop. You had no idea. This wasn’t your idea, it was hers.

“We're going to walk in and demand to see them.” You blanched. What a plan. Foolproof. Nothing could go wrong.

“What if they don't let us?” 

“Make a scene.” The thought mortified you. You weren't one who liked being the center of attention. After all, you’ve been turning down being in Kid’s band for years.

“We should've had everyone come with us. That definitely would make a scene.” Dive pouted slightly. 

“Well, everyone is also busy.” You sighed. “We shouldn't make a scene. I'm sure there's an explanation for everything. I'm sure there's a misunderstanding. Maybe it's a narrative being pushed by the company. Maybe-”

“Slow down there, champ. We'll get our answers.” Bubblegum grimaced as he cut you off. “And they better be good. Not only are they hurting you, but all of us. How do you just abandon your entire group of friends? It doesn't make sense. Dropping all of us is insane work.” He folded his arms, glaring out the window. 

There was a solemn moment in the car. Each of you were thinking the same thing. How could they do something like this? And all of them? Had fame really gotten to their heads that quickly and violently? It didnt made any fucking sense. None of this did. 

“I should've suspected something when they started texting less and somehow all of their phones shit the bed at the same time,” you grumbled, folding your arms and leaning back in your seat. 

Were you so blinded by young love? You two had been together for just about two decades now. You thought you found your forever love but…

The thought was making you tear up again.

Before you could get too emotional, Hop turned on the radio. She had in some mixtape of songs she put together. Songs all of you enjoyed. She turned it up and began to sing really loudly. 

She looked at you from her peripheral, winking. You rolled your eyes but smiled. Then your favorite song came on and you couldn't help but join in on the song. After that, Bubblegum and Dive joined in too, chaotic singing being belted in the car. 

--

The trip was long. It gave you plenty of time to think of what to say. 

Only you still had no fucking clue what you were going to say. Were you going to yell at him? Cry at him? Demand answers? Beg for him to take you back? What if you saw the others before him? 

There were so many unknowns, yourself being the biggest one. You truly had no idea how you were going to react. There were so many possibilities and the sheer anxiety was making you feel sick.

“It's gonna be okay, y/n.” You looked up at Hop. 

“Yeah. I'll bite the shit outta him if he dont got a good excuse,” Dive piped up from the back. 

“And I'll use my secret shiv.”

“Okay, let's not end up in jail,” you said slowly, though you felt flattered they were willing to go to such lengths for you. You supposed that they were hurting too. You weren't the only one they were ignoring. Everyone felt the sting. Everyone had been so close and this caused turbulence, but the lot of you seemed to grow closer - the group chat being busier than ever.

“Can't go to jail if I don't get caught.” Bubblegum smirked to himself, folding his arms and looking out the window. 

“Gum, you're not stabbing anyone.” You weren't about to let one of your best friends go to jail.

“I never said-” 

“Or slicing. Or anything. Keep the shiv in your sock.”

“How did-”

You turned around in your seat, looking at him. “You act like I'm not your best friend. I know you keep the shiv in your right sock and then a package of nerd clusters in the left one.”

He just stared at you before narrowing his eyes and pouting. “Whatever,” he grumbled, looking back out the window. 

You smiled proudly ro yourself, turning back around. 

“Where do I keep my shiv?” Dive asked. 

“You don't have one. You just bite the shit outta everyone. But you do keep jolly ranchers on you at all times and then just bite them when you eat them like a lunatic.”  

Dive said nothing, just cackled and kicked her fit with excitement. She could be truly unnerving when she wanted to be. You suddenly heard a crinkling of a wrapper and you knew she was cracking open a jolly rancher right then and there. Then you heard the godforsaken crunch noise.

“All I know is that we better get some fucking answers or I’m burning down the place.”

“Hop, you're not going to jail for arson again.” It had only been overnight, but it was still jail nonetheless. She had been lucky that they never had evidence other than she was nearby.

She didn't say anything, only rolled her eyes and grinned. You also knew that she was the one you had to worry about. Bubblegum and Dive were pretty good at listening to you, but Hop wouldn't. When she had her sights set on something, she was going to get it. Especially if her or her loved ones were hurt. She was unpredictable too.

You didn't blame her, but you didn't want her getting arrested on your behalf. 

“I can't lose you on top of them, okay?” Your voice was soft that only she could hear and that seemed to hit deep. She readjusted herself, gripping the wheel for a moment and sighed. 

“Okay.” 

You settled back into your chair. This was the last leg of the journey. You were anxious and the constant tension of your body wore you out and you fell asleep.

--

You woke to your friends having a conversation louder than they thought. “Is this it?”

“I think so?”

“Why don't we ask y/n?”

“They're asleep.”

“So? Wake them up.”

“I want to let them sleep just in case things go south. Let them get plenty of rest now-”

“Y'all talkin’ bout me?” you mumbled, waking from your sleep. You yawned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“Oh shit, y/n.”

You straightened up in your seat, looking at the window to the building before you. “Yeah, this is the building. I remember Killer sending me a picture when he got here.”

You climbed out of the truck and stretched, still waking up and not really processing what was happening yet. 

The others hopped out of the car with you, joining you. 

Finally, you straightened up, looking at the building. You stopped, feeling your anxiety slam into your body again as you stared. Your eyes wide as you seemed to zone out. This was it. You were going to walk away with answers. You were either going to walk away still in a relationship or single. Your heart was either going to be in one piece or burst into a million.

You took a deep breath and walked towards the tall building with bright pink lettering that read:

DONQUIXOTE ENTERTAINMENT

[analogwriting]

me??? locking in???? its more likely than it seems

[analogwriting]

wow guys im so sorry. i thought id be able to go back to a regular schedule but i fell super sick after that chapter and then a loved one passed. im currently out of state for the funeral.

its been a lot lately but ill try to resume soon!! sorry again 😭🙏 i head back home next week and things should (hopefully) slowdown.

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 7: It's All So Incredibly Loud

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3k first|next a/n: oh my god im so sorry that i just disappeared. summer is just a really hard time of year for me. between business picking up at the store and just having a lot of personal things going on, it's been a lot and i haven't had motivation. things should slow down and hopefully i can post more. im starting to be a bit more motivated, so that's also helpful. that being said, i haven't written all summer so please bear w me. >.< ALSO the various terms in the texts are just different terms of endearment.

Oh, this shit sucked.

Being without Killer; it was worse than you could’ve imagined. Yes, you knew it was going to be hard, but not this hard. Even with him calling every night and talking to you until you fell asleep, you never could sleep long, or well. 

He slept with you every night since forever, now that he wasn’t here…it was so obvious something was missing. Everything felt cold and way too spacious; he was large and radiated heat so his absence was more than noticeable. You spend your nights tossing and turning all over, getting all tangled in your sheets before eventually falling off the bed.

On the rare occasions you did get sleep, you realized how spoiled you had been with your wake up routine. Killer would come in and shower you with light kisses, waking you up gently and slowly with the aroma of food not far from him. He was always the first one awake, so he always made sure you were taken care of before you went off to classes.

Most mornings now, you’d roll out of bed last minute, grab something to snack on - if anything at all - and head out the door. If Killer was here, he’d absolutely scold you for your shit eating habits.

You also made sure that your schedule was packed. You hated having a moment to yourself because you just thought about how much you missed everyone. You stacked up your classes, worked extra shifts, hung out with your friends until the wee hours of the morning. Anything and everything you could to exhaust yourself. It was easier to fall asleep if you physically couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore, right? Besides, Killer usually wasn’t available until late at night anyway.

However, contact began to slow down and shorten. Killer tried calling every night, and he did for a while. He called late at night, you two would talk about your days and eventually you’d fall asleep on the phone together. It went like this for a long time. Hours of talking about every little thing and thought the two of you had throughout the day turned to brief conversations. “Hey, I just had to hear your voice, but I can’t stay long.” Things like that.

The calls became more spaced out - every other day, every week, every other week, and then every month. They really just packed his schedule and he was so exhausted that he’d forget to call or not have the energy. Or he was worried about calling you too late - no matter how much you told him it didn’t matter how late it called, he still wouldn’t because he knew you needed sleep too. He knew that you were pushing yourself to the edge and exhausting yourself. He tried to protest this, but you kept reassuring him that you were perfectly fine much to his dismay.

Even his texting slowed; not that he was much of a texter to begin with. Just like the calls, the texts were almost constant, then a few a day, then one a day, so on and so forth. You continued texting him throughout the day, updating him on things and just keeping him in the loop - even if he wasn’t answering. Sometimes, it didn’t even seem that your messages were delivering, but you just assumed that was a glitch.

The group chat the lot of you had was lacking the band members. They all somewhat stopped being in contact with everyone. Which, in their defense, they were busy and that made sense, but it still sucked. Killer made sure to at least send a ‘good morning text’ every day, so there was at least that kind of comfort…for a while.

“Y/n.” 

You were currently staring at your phone, zoning out. You were staring at your texts between you and Killer.

“Y/n.”

Killer hadn’t texted you that morning. He always made sure to at least text you ‘good morning.’ It was usually followed by a pet name or a nickname, but it hadn’t come. It usually came right as you were waking up but it was now afternoon and there was nothing.

“Y/N!”

You jumped as your best friend’s voice rang through, making you drop your phone and making it clatter along the table. “Huh?” You blinked, looking at Hop.

“You didn’t hear anything I said, did you?” Her face was deadpanned as she looked at you, clearly unamused. “What’s going on? Is it Killer?” She sighed, rolling her eyes slightly. You knew she was annoyed with all of it. Which, you didn’t blame her. She was patient for the most part through all of this and you had just ignored her.

You sighed, picking your phone back up and nodded. “He hasn’t texted me.”

“Didn’t you say he wasn’t really texting you as much?”

“Yeah, but he always sent a good morning text, you know? And I didn’t get this one this morning, so I’m worried. What if something happened?” You frowned deeply, staring at your phone. What if they were in some kind of accident? You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if anything happened to any of them.

“Have you tried texting your cousin?”

“Yes, but it’s the same. Nothing.” All four of them were unresponsive.

A sigh came from Hop. It’d been months at this point since they left. She, like you, thought it would slowly become easier as time went on, but it didn’t. It felt like things were getting harder. For a moment, things were fine. When Killer was still texting and calling regularly, everything was fine. You were coping well. As he responded less and less, the more desperate you became. It was like slowly weaning yourself off of some kind of drug.

“You should move in with us.” Hop's voice suddenly chimed.

You blinked, looking at Hop. “Huh?”

“You should move in with Dive, Bubblegum, and I. We have that extra room you’ve been crashing in.” That was the other thing, whenever you hung out with them, you crashed in their spare bedroom.

You paused for a moment, mulling it over for a moment. 

“C’mon, y/n. You are all alone in that big house. I know it’s the house you grew up in and your mother left it to you, but I also don’t think she’d want you to rot away in it. A permanent change of scenery would do you good. Get you out of your wallowing mood.” 

You let out a long sigh, thinking about it. She was right. You were all alone in this large house. It was full of old memories that somewhat hurt. Sure, you used it as a large hangout spot and it was still used, but Hop’s house was now used as the same. They moved into their house more recently and your friend group now gravitated between yours and their house. It wouldn’t make too much of an impact to switch to the one. 

All the memories in your house though, could you really let them go? All the parties, all the firsts, all the little domestic moments, all the tears, happiness, anger - could you let it go? You weren’t quite sure. You might be able to move, but could you get rid of things and sell the place? That was the part you were most unsure about.

“I know I kind of just sprung it on you and it’s not exactly an easy decision to make. So, how about you think about it? The offer doesn’t expire, so just take your time.” She placed a hand on your shoulder and smiled at you. You nodded slowly, sighing.

“It’s probably a good idea, but I just can’t let the house go. All those memories I just-”

“Hey, like I said. Offer always stands. Besides, you can crash at ours whenever. You don’t necessarily have to sell your house either. We can still use it as the hang out spot, if you want.” 

You looked at her, smiling and almost tearing up. You don’t know what you did to deserve her, but you were forever grateful for her. Grateful for all of your friends, honestly. They’d all been so supportive and trying to help make sure you were taking care of yourself on top of you overstacking your schedule.

“What’s going on here?” Bubblegum plopped on the bench across from the two of you. 

“I invited them to move in with us.” Hop shrugged, letting go of you.

Bubblegum grinned, clearly this was something they had already discussed. “Well, you pretty much do anyway. Prefer you with us rather than by yourself.” You let out another long sigh. You knew you were worrying them. With your wall to wall scheduling and overall not taking care of yourself, they were constantly making sure you were okay. You felt awful.

“Just remember, Killer said he’d be back. So, he’ll be back. He’s just busy - it’s not the end of the world.” Hop looked at you then at your phone.

You set it down, sighing. She was right. You needed to remind yourself you were more than him. As much as you missed him with every fiber of your being, working yourself to death wasn’t going to help anyone. You just needed a little pep talk to remind you. You needed to detox.

“What if we went to the movies tonight?” You looked at them. Might as well start trying to live a little now. It wasn’t helping anyone just running yourself into the ground.

“I thought you were picking up a shift?”

You shook your head. “Not gonna. I need to make time for me. It’s not helping anyone being glued to my phone or overworking and stressing myself, and everyone else out, in the process.” Starting now, you were going to turn over a new leaf. Time wasn’t passing any faster working all day everyday so might as well have fun.

 The two of them grinned widely. “Oh hell yeah. What about that new horror movie we’ve been wanting to see?”

You nodded, your mind racing. You still wanted to keep busy, yes, but you could also enjoy that time as well. You didn’t have to constantly be working, you could also take time for you. Sure, your mind would drift, but it was okay to just think. You were just avoiding everything when really you needed to think about those things. Handle those emotions.

You looked at your phone, jumping up. “Oh shit, I’m late to class!” You bolted down the sidewalk, waving to your friends and shouting to them that you’d see them later.

--

Life started slowing down a little. You did eventually hear from Killer. He had ended up calling a couple of days later, apologizing for not being able to text you. His phone had been acting weird, not sending his texts or receiving any, so he ended up getting a new one. It was odd because apparently the same happened to everyone else’s. You assumed maybe some intern spilled water on a table and it got their phones, fucking them all up at once.

However, things didn’t exactly return to normal. You were wondering if his phone was still giving him trouble. Maybe it was your own phone? Though, when you took it in, they said nothing was wrong with it. You even went ahead and bought a whole new phone just in case…

You hadn’t heard from him in a week at this point, but you were keeping busy. Not overkill like you had been, but focusing on other things. You had decided to move in with your friends, taking the basics of what you needed and deciding the box up the rest of the house. You weren’t going to sell it off quite yet, you were still unsure about that part, but you were going to start going through everything - that was already going to take a loong time. You were sure there were some things you could throw out and get rid of; old clothes that didn’t fit anyone, dishes that were never used, etc.

“Y/n!” You were interrupted by your thoughts as you heard Dive’s voice ring through the house. 

“Upstairs!” You were currently going through things in your cousin’s room. You were boxing most things, throwing out trash, broken things, putting clothes you knew that didn’t fit him in the donate pile. It was kind of nice cleaning up -  refreshing. 

You heard Dive run up the stairs and into the room. “Y/n. You need to pack.”

You blinked, looking over at her. Your eyebrows furrowed and you tilted your head to the side. “What for?”

“You, me, Hop, ‘Gum, and some other people are all gonna go to the beach. We all pitched in and rented an airbnb for a couple weeks. So, pack. We leave in an hour.” Then she headed back out without any other explanation nor context.

“Wait!” You ran after her. “I can’t just leave work!” Right now you were on winter break, so you didn’t have to worry about school.

“We already talked with them - they’re cool with it!” She didn’t even look back as she ran out of the house. You stood there, blinking in shock. Did they really talk to your work for you? Huh, they must’ve really wanted you to not have a decision in the matter. Well, you couldn’t argue with that.

“Well…I guess I don’t really have a choice.” You chuckled, heading back upstairs to pack.

--

Turns out it was the entire friend group that was going; sans the bandmates of course. Part of you hoped they’d make a surprise appearance, but you doubted it. Hell, none of them could bother to text any of you. You were honestly growing more and more annoyed by it all.

You tried not to think about it.

The airbnb that was rented was ginormous. It was a stunning beach house that you see in the movies. Just about everyone had their own room. You opted to share a room with Hop. As of late, when you were at their house you ended up sharing a bed with her anyway. You still struggled with sleeping alone and having someone in the bed with you made things easier - especially since your boyfriend wasn’t talking to you at all. 

You knew he was busy, but you couldn’t help it. It somewhat annoyed you, especially after he called you apologizing for his phone breaking only for him to ignore you. For all of them to do it too? No one had heard from any of them recently. No texts, no funny videos on various apps, nothing. 

The only thing you heard was whatever the lot of you saw on the news. Which, lately, wasn’t much either. They went silent. You assumed they were preparing for something big. That's the only thing you could think of that would keep them from talking to any of you.

The beach and this trip was exactly what you needed. A change of scenery, the salty breeze, roads shimmering and wiggling in your vision because of the heat, your friends; it couldn’t get better than this. It also helped take your mind off of things surprisingly enough. Sure, your mind was always racing, but it was a little better this week.

You spent the days shopping, hanging out on the beach, eating local food, just enjoying life. You hardly checked your phone. It was used as a camera and nothing else, not like Killer bothered texting you. Or any of the others. Everyone tried texting them at one point, but no one got an answer, so you all just collectively gave up. 

To be honest, you were so caught up in having a good time with everyone that you didn’t find yourself thinking about it too much, just late at night. You were in a good mood - surrounded by those you loved and loved you, doing endless fun activities. It’s just what you needed. A break. A reward for working so hard and getting through all of this.

You almost didn’t want it to end. Sure, it would’ve been better if your boyfriend and everyone else was here, but it just didn’t work out like that. You weren’t going to let it damper your mood too much. It nagged at the back of your mind, a weird feeling at the pit of your stomach. You just assumed you were being dramatic.

“Compo! Where are those hot dogs!” You hollered from the kitchen. You were in the middle of preparing dinner for everyone. The classic hamburger and hot dog assembly station. Everyone was about the house, doing their own things. Cleaning up from a long day, on the deck enjoying the cool evening ocean breeze, playing music, watching tv, just about anything and everything.

It was a bit chaotic, but it was expected from your friend group.

“Holy shit.” 

“What the fuck?” 

There was a commotion coming from the living area. Something crashed to the floor, there was a couple gasps.

“Should we get them?”

“I don’t know…it might break them…”

What were they talking about? Were they talking about you? Was Killer on the news?

You walked into the living room. “What’s going-”  and immediately froze as your eyes fell upon the television. Your eyes ballooning, tears filling them instantly. You’re in shock, unable to process what you were looking at. There was no way this was happening. It didn’t make sense.

Everything fell silent, an eye of the storm. Whispers could deafen you in this moment, so no one dared even breathe as they watched you in horror. Water from your broken iris fell towards the floor; everyone waiting, shaking slightly as it dropped. You slowly felt yourself breaking down. You were silent, but your heartbreak was loud enough to rattle the world. You can’t fight it - you can’t breathe.

Before you, on the television, was a live feed of your boyfriend, cousin, and friends. They all looked worse for wear. Like they’d been going through it. Dabbling in things they shouldn’t, but that’s not what stopped your heart. No. That would’ve been so much better to deal with. So much easier. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you were watching.

Your boyfriend on screen, surrounded by scantily dressed women hanging off of him and he was locking lips with one of them.

[analogwriting]

doing my walk of shame in coming in here and leaving that mess of messages 🙂‍↕️ -😩

dont worry bc i WILL answer them all eehehhe

[analogwriting]

LEMME DISECT UR BRAIN RQ (in a normal way of course 🫣😏😏😏)😩😩😩

do you mean it? uwu

[analogwriting]

ALSO!!! I LOVE HOW U NAMED EVERY CHAPTER AFTER A DIFFERENT METAL!!!!

THANK YOOOOUUUU!!!!! i like all my chapters to follow a theme. i feel like it ties things together. or it's the tism. pick your answer LMFAOOOOO

[analogwriting]

OK SO I READ UR BIO AND IT SAYS UNEXPECTED SUMMER HIATUS IM SORRY FOR BEING LIKE UPDATE PLS BUT I RUSHED FROM AO3 TO HERE TO SCREAM ABT THE STORY!!! I HOPE EVERYTHING IS OKAY SENDING U LOVE

AHHHH!! NO IT'S OKAY IT'S FINE!! YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT MALICIOUSLY SO IT'S FINEEEEEEE

[analogwriting]

HELLO??? GELLO??? IM BINGE READING CHILDHOOD CRUSH AND WAIT BEFORE I GET INTO SCREAMING BC OF THE CLIFFHANGER!! I GOTTA GIVE U UR APPLAUSE BC THE STORY IS SOOO GOOD??? !!!!THE WORD BUILDING !!!THE STORY TELLING!!! THE WRITING IS SO GOOD IM GIVING U THE FATTEST SMOOCH ON UR HEAD ISWEARRRRRR!!! I WISH I COULD USE MY WORDS TO GET INTO HOW MUCH I ENJOY UR STORY BESIDES SCREAMING BUT FRIEND… I BEG OF U…… PLS UPDATE ILL GIVE U UHHH WAS GONNA SAY MY FIRST BORN BUT I DONT EVEN WANT THAT EITHER UMMM OKAY IDK BUT PLEEK *insert cute pic of me begging* 🙂‍↕️😏😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😫

DFGL;SDJG;LDFKG HELLOO?????? THANK YOU????? IM GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING IT????????

i can tell you childhood crush IS done and completed. it would seem that i didn't link on tumblr at some point and a few people think it isn't completed so when i have time i'll fix that trusttttt