analogwriting

[analogwriting]

these are my mutuals. they know who they are

[analogwriting]

my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

[analogwriting]

[analogwriting]

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 29: Pork Soda

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3k a/n: damn guys. can't believe we're almost doneeee. it's been a LONG ride (over a year damn). but we're finally coming to the end. the next chapter will probably be the last unless i yap two much and make it two. but i already have two different fics outlined that i had ready. idk which one yet. taglist: @kattywhomper @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @ttalgi @animesailor9 first|next

White. Blinding white light is the first thing you see when you open your eyes - it hurts. You close them again, focusing on other things. Everything fucking hurts. Your head was throbbing; throat felt like you had swallowed a bunch of sandpaper; body felt like it was made of lead. Everything was positively awful.

It takes a moment, but you eventually open your eyes all the way, making out your surroundings. You can’t move or speak for a few moments, leaving you to just listen and piece things together slowly. A hospital - you were in a hospital. Why? Then it all came flooding back.

You needed to find Killer.

You sit up quickly - too quickly. Vertigo hits you and a wave of nausea washes over you. A trashbin is held up next to your face and you unleash inside of it. 

After thoroughly cleaning out your stomach, you hear a voice come from next to you.

“Are you alright?” Hop. You somewhat expected her to be there. You would’ve been incredibly worried if she hadn’t been.

You opened your mouth to ask a question when you realized there was a lot of noise and commotion outside. You look over to the windows. The curtains were drawn, but there was flashing. Then a loud voice, you were pretty sure it was Dive, ring out. “For fucks’ sake they’re in the hospital! They are not taking questions!” Questions for what? Who-

“So scram!” Bubblegum chimed in. 

You turn to Hop who lets out a soft sigh. “You remember how Pomp said he had something extra to do to your mask?”

“Yeah, but he had to tweak it. He wouldn’t tell me…” What did that have to do with the commotion outside? You weren’t connecting the dots. Maybe it was because you were still recovering.

“Well, it now has a livestream feature.” A livestream feature?

You look at her with knitted eyebrows, trying to piece together what that could’ve meant. Then it hit you and your eyes went wide. When you knocked over your mask, it turned on the livestream feature. “Did…”

Hop nodded. “It caught everything. That slimy fuck is going away for a long time.” She grinned a lopsided grin, folding her arms across her chest.

You leaned back into your pillows with a long sigh. He confessed everything. Even tried to kill you - wait.

“Why am I not dead right now?” He wouldn’t have just…stopped. He would’ve followed through. Doflamingo wasn’t above killing people, so why were you alive right now?

Hop shifted slightly and you couldn’t quite read the expression on her face. She glanced at the curtain next to your bed that was currently half drawn. It seemed like she was looking at someone.

“Hop?”

She walked over, pulling the curtain to reveal-

“Killer.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. Tears immediately pricked the corner of your eyes as so many feelings started to take over. Doflamingo’s words were currently ringing through your head. They had never left you. They never left your friends. They were forced to stay away, tricked even. All by some sick freak who wanted puppets instead of musicians. It hurt your heart. 

You knew how your friends felt over the years - you could only imagine how they had felt the entire time. Especially since they had been convinced you died. You couldn’t imagine how you would feel if that happened to one of them. You’d be destroyed.

You couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty. You had only tried to visit one time. Perhaps you should’ve tried more, surely you would’ve eventually run into them. It was clear they had visited you several times since your ‘death’. But you haven’t been there in so long - haven’t been back to that house. 

God, you regretted selling it. You wanted nothing more than to move back in with Killer and Kid - to have what you used to. You missed when times were simpler - before the heartbreak. 

Hop excused herself, but the two of you wouldn’t take your eyes off each other. Both of you were afraid if you looked away, the other would disappear. That everything would go back to the harsh reality of being without each other. 

Killer slowly walked to your side, still not taking his eyes off you. Once he was within arms reach, you pulled him into your arms. The warmth of his body heat washed over you. His scent filled your nostrils. He smelled the same - like home. His strong arms wrapped around you, holding you securely, making you feel the safest you had in a long time. Oh, how you just wanted to go home and curl up with him and sleep.

Tears fell down your face in waterfalls as you sobbed. With the way his body shook, you would tell he was crying too. 

The two of you stayed like that for a while, once more afraid the other would disappear if you let go. 

Eventually, you did pull away from each other. He put your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. You reached up, doing the same to him. There were so many things you wanted to say, but you couldn’t find your voice to say them. You didn’t know where to start.

You’d work backwards.

“What happened?” You didn’t exactly specify what in particular. You meant with Doflamingo, but you were somewhat vague since the two of you hadn’t seen each other in years.

Luckily, he still knew you like no one else. 

--

Killer burst into the office just in time to see your eyes roll into the back of your head. 

He moved before he could even think clearly. He punched Doflamingo so hard that he went flying into the wall, knocking him clean out. The element of surprised really played into his favor. His fist and the CEO’s face both covered in blood - broken nose most likely. He didn’t care about that.

He moved quickly, catching you before you slumped onto the floor. His heart is racing and his breaking is shallow as the adrenaline and anxiety run high in his veins. “Y/n? Y/n? Please…” His eyes were tearing up. He couldn’t lose you. Not when he didn’t have you back. He couldn’t lose you again. There was lost time to make up for.

“What the fuck do we do?” Kid is pacing, freaking the fuck out. He hears Doflamingo make a noise like he’s about to get back up and Kid runs over, kicking him as hard as he can in the torso, knocking him out once more.

Corazon enters the office, immediately beelining to your mask. He quickly switches off the livestream before assessing the situation. The first thing he notices is everyone gathered around your limp body. “Alright, alright. Give them space.” He shoos Kid, Heat, and Wire back a little bit. 

He takes off his fluffy coat, handing it to Killer. “Let them lay on that, it’ll be more comfortable.” Killer nods, taking the large piece of clothing and making a makeshift bed out of it.

Your manager looks at Heat and Wire. “You two tie up Doflamingo and stay with him. Make sure he doesn’t do anything fucking stupid or go conscious again. He’s got a silver tongue and he’s clever. The last thing we need is for him to go free. I turned off the livestream so knock him out as many times as you need to. I called the cops when the livestream started getting juicy, so they should be here any moment.”

The two nodded and immediately went to work. Wire took one of the belts from his outfit, easily tying up Doflamingo. Heat pulled out a couple of zip ties from his pocket, offering them to Wire to secure everything.

“Killer, you carry y/n and follow me. Kid, you follow me too. You’re the next of kin, so any major medical decisions will be up to you.” Since you and Killer never had the chance to get married, he wasn’t able to make any medical decisions. In the eyes of the government, he wasn’t family yet. So, those decisions would fall on Kid.

“Do you think-” Kid’s voice was soft. Killer realized he looked much like he did when he was younger. Small, afraid. Someone who had lost his parents, a caretaker, then his last family member. Only to lose them again. He hadn’t seen him this vulnerable in so long, he had forgotten that he could.

“No. I don’t. Not even for a moment. Y/n is stronger than they look. They’ll pull through.” Corazon’s voice was firm and even. He wasn’t about to let doubt creep in. He knew you would make it - he’d make sure of it. He wasn’t about to let his brother claim another life. Not when he could stop it this time.

Corazon also pulled out his phone, calling someone. “Hop? Yeah, I saw it. Hop, Hop. I need you to listen to me and everything will be fine…I need you to come to the building and take care of Diamante and…yeah. Exactly. Thank you.” He hung up, sliding his phone back in his pocket. Hop was your right hand man, so he knew that she’d take care of the rest.

Downstairs, there was already an ambulance waiting, the EMS just hopping out of the truck with the gurney to head in…

--

“And…that’s how we ended up here.” He had his fingers laced with yours, kissing the back of your hand. 

Confusion took over your face. Where was everyone else? Before you could ask, Killer chuckled. It was clear he could still read you like a book.

“Corazon gave specific instructions not to overwhelm you at all. Give you space, let you rest.” He pauses. “You know, he can be really fucking scary.” A shiver ran down his spine and you let out a small snort. You shrugged. You’d never seen the scary side of Corazon.

“I’ve seen him in serious mode, but I wouldn’t say it was scary.”

“Well, he doesn’t hate you. You’re a favorite.”

“True.” You snorted, shaking your head. 

They had apparently sent Killer and Hop specifically. Hop was always by your side - your partner in crime, your best friend. And Killer had always been your safe space. They also all knew you would need a moment to talk and catch up.

You opened your mouth to ask something else when the door opened. The noise outside had disappeared, Dive and Bubblegum must’ve chased everyone off.

“Ah, you are awake. You’re looking much better. I’ll be checking your vitals and giving you a once over before we talk about discharging you. I’m Doctor Marco.” He gives you a warm smile and pulls out a clipboard to start the small check up.

--

Since you hadn’t sustained any bodily injuries, like stabbing or broken bones - something that would take a long time to heal, you were able to be discharged that day. Thank fuck. The less time in the hospital the better. Besides, you and Killer still had a lot to talk about. You had…so many questions.

Killer led you out to the lobby where Hop, Dive, and Bubblegum were waiting. The moment you walk out of those doors, they jump up and run over to you, almost tackling you to the ground. There were sentiments shared very dramatically. “I thought you were dead!”, “I told you to call if something happened!”, “I swear to fucking shit if you do that again, I’ll make sure you die.”

Once they calmed down, you realized that it was just the three of them. Was Kid not here? Did he not want to see you? Or Heat and Wire? Did they hate you? What was going on? Maybe the hospital only allowed so many people to wait? Questions were building in your brain.

Hop noticed the look of confusion on your face and frowned. “No, they're not here. They left earlier.” You look at her with a blink. Yeah, they weren’t here but why?

“I think he got cold feet. It was pacing around like crazy. He was the most stressed I'd ever seen him.” Dive frowned, shaking her head. You’d seen him like that a few times before when your mother was sick. He usually didn’t let things get to him like that, though. But, you were family not waiting to hear how a new song did.

“The moment he heard that you were okay, he just bounced.” Bubblegum sighed, shaking his head. 

You nodded, taking in the information. You knew he was probably overwhelmed as fuck right now. You're suddenly alive to him. He must've been dealing with some pretty fucking big emotions and he was never good at things like that. He probably needs a minute. You didn’t blame him in the slightest and would give him all the time he needed.

“I'm sure he'll come around,” you said with a shrug. Your gaze shifted to Killer. “Just send him my address and he can come over whenever he's ready.” Killer nodded. Both of you knew it wouldn’t take him too long, he’d probably come over tomorrow.

“The other two went with him to just keep an eye on him. Well, Wire went first and Heat is always attached to his hip so…” Bubblegum shrugged. They were always like that. 

You nodded. That took care of them. Now there was only…

“He's still wrapped up at the police station,” Dive said, reading the look on your face. Your friends were so good at reading you it was crazy. Or maybe you just wore your heart on your sleeve, you had no idea.

“Ah, that makes sense.” His brother did just admit to just about every terrible crime ever on livestream. Corazon was going to be wrapped up at the station for a while. You mentally wished him luck, knowing he was probably trying his best not to bash his own skull in. He was a man who was meant to be goofy and whimsical. Not serious and dealing with shit like this.

Part of you wondered what this meant. Was Corazon going to take over the business? Was your tour cancelled? Maybe just pushed back? How were the fans taking everything in? Was your face completely broadcasted now? 

You felt an arm drape around you, bringing you back to the present. Killer had wrapped his arm around you and he was looking at you. “You still overthink like it's going out of style, hm?” There was an amused expression on his face. Time might’ve passed, but some things never changed. You were a chronic overthinker - always had been.

You huffed out at him but before you could say anything, he continued, “I'll fill you in on everything else when we get there. The fans, the plans, all of it.”

“That rhymed!” Dive piped in. 

You smiled, snorting at her interjection. You knew she was over the moon to have him back. Now her ‘parents’ were back together in one room again. All of your friends were probably happy and excited. Actually, there was no probably about it. They absolutely were. Now that everyone knew they hadn’t just left them and ditched them, reunions were in order.

“Besides, Corazon gave me strict orders to keep you from working or thinking about work.” A shiver ran down his spine. “Very strict orders.” He shook his head. “Your manager is terrifying, you know that?”

You just laughed at him. You never really got the scary side of Corazon. Then your laugh stopped. Oh, he was going to be so fucking pissed. You had deliberately disobeyed him and almost gotten killed. Oh man, you survived Doflamingo but it was his brother you needed to worry about. 

You groaned, covering your face. “Ah, shit.”

“I was wondering when you were going to realize,” Hop mused. Bubblegum looked over, grinning. He laughed, Dive joining in. “Oh, you’re so screwed.”

“What?” Killer looked between the lot of you with confusion. 

“Nothing. Just planning my funeral. I lived but Corazon might not let me.” You shook your head as Dive and Bubblegum laughed at you. 

“Well, I'm going home to sleep in my own bed one more time before he kills me.” You're grumbling, folding your arms across your chest. You're feeling weirdly light despite having almost died not even a few hours ago. 

“Oh before you do…” Hop trails off, fishing something out of her pocket. It was your phone. Or what’s left of it. It’s smashed and dead. You take it with a small sigh - that’s annoying. You could only imagine the countless notifications that were waiting for you whenever you started it back up.

You looked at Killer. “Can we go to the phone store on the way?” He nods. 

With that, you all head out of the hospital. You're going to be riding with Killer (of course) to the penthouse. Hop, Bubblegum, and Dive are heading to a hotel. Your friends that had been staying at your place decided to rent some rooms out for everyone to give you space. They all knew their own tendencies and didn’t want to overwhelm or bombard you in any way. You appreciated it.

Your bandmates were going to head to the hotel to catch everyone up on what was going on and give you and Killer some space. 

It was so weird. It still felt so natural having Killer walk by your side. It was as if nothing happened at all. Like the two of you hadn't just been separated all those years. 

“Let's head home, yeah?” Killer said, wrapping his arm around you with a smile. You nodded, leaning into him. Exhaustion was starting to dig its claws into you. You were just ready for some sleep in the comfort of your own bed and with Killer by your side once more.

“Ah, phone store first though,” you said and he nodded with a small chuckle as the two of you hopped into his truck.

[analogwriting]

when u exit hyperfocus mode and ur immediately hit with every status effect ever

[analogwriting]

let it die by starset is very trafalgar law coded

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 28: Flip

Killer x gn!reader word count: 4k a/n: ayeo have a big honkin' chapter to make up for the three week break. we should be finishing up this fic within the next week or so. ;) taglist: @kattywhomper @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @ttalgi @animesailor9 first|next

From the moment Killer laid his eyes on you all those years ago, he knew you were the one. He’ll never forget the first time he met you.

 He remembered when his family was moving into the house next door to yours. The two of you were small children; five or six at this point. He was sitting on the sidewalk playing with a couple of sticks as he watched the movers going in and out of their new house. 

“Well, who the hell are you?” You always had a foul mouth, taking after your mother. She cussed like a sailor. When you became the parroting age, she had tried to stop cursing but it was pointless. She had given up and accepted her fate. 

When Killer had turned around to see the origin of the voice, he turned around to see the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. He was stunned into silence, just staring at you. He was speechless.

“Hello?” You waved a hand in front of his face. “Anyone in there? What, are you mute?” You huffed, already annoyed with him.

Right before you walked off, he finally snapped back into reality, answering your question. He told you his name and you just grinned. He decided right then and there, no matter what, he would always be in your life. Sure, he was a small child, but he didn’t deny that he really, really like-liked you.

From then on the two of you were attached to the hip. He would follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked him.

He remembered when he asked you out officially when the two of you were seven. You just looked at him confused and responded with, “I thought we already were?” You two had been inseparable, always together. You were always holding his hand and dragging him everywhere and the two of you felt like a couple. Or at least that’s what your guys’ seven-year-old minds thought.

He remembered when Kid came to live with you and how protective you were over him. At this time, Heat joined your little pow wows, having moved in across the street. He remembered how you gathered the both of them and told them your cousin would be moving in. You had mentioned that he lost his parents and not to say anything about it to him.

When Kid moved in, it took a few days before he finally joined the three of you in the living room one day. He was cautious and unsure about things. You were so kind and supportive of him. Then he remembered Heat and his big ass mouth. 

“I heard your parents died. That su-”

The pure anger in your eyes sent a shiver down his spine. In seconds, your fist was flying into Heat’s nose before he could even finish his sentence. For a nine year old, you packed quite a punch. Heat had been so sure that you had concaved his face.

Heat never disobeyed you again. And Killer admired you that much more.

He remembered the first time the two of you ever kissed. It was awkward and weird and overall embarrassing. So much so that the two of you agreed to never speak of it again.

He remembered the promise of a band the five of you made in the field all those years ago. 

He remembered when the two of you were walking in the forest. You spotted some white roses in the red dirt. You had said it was so beautiful it hurt. Watching you stopping and quite literally enjoying the roses, his heart wanted to burst. He knew you were so much more than he deserved. 

He remembered the turning point in all of your lives. What made the two of you realize that you two were going to be together forever and it wasn’t just a childhood/teenage fling. You two were in it for life no matter what happened.

It was when your mother’s health began to decline. 

You started working to keep money flowing in since your mother couldn’t. You were still a full time student also as it was your last year and a half of high school. You also would help Kid with his schoolwork and do all the cooking and cleaning. You even made sure that you made breakfast for everyone as well as packed lunches. You were doing everything.

Killer saw you less and less. He was worried for your health. You were starting to look ragged and worn out. At the beginning, he had offered help but you declined. You told him he didn’t need to worry, that you had this. Kid also offered to help. He wasn’t old enough for a big job, but he could mow lawns or something along those lines and you denied that too. You told him to focus on school and enjoy being a kid.

He was amazed by you, but even the strongest people start falling apart at the seams when pushed far enough. You were just the most beautiful person with the weight of the world on your shoulders. He had to do something. So, that’s just what he did. He started doing.

He had a key to your house, naturally, so he woke up even earlier than he knew you woke up at and came over to start cooking breakfast. He had helped your mom cook a few times and watched the two of you cook plenty of times. He wasn’t the best at this time, but he knew over time he’d get better - besides, he enjoyed it.

He remembered the way you had run down the stairs in a panic, thinking something was on fire. When you saw he was cooking, confusion and sleep was apparent on your face. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Cooking.”

“Why? I was going to start cooking here in a little bit.”

“Exactly, that’s why I had to start before you came down.”

“Kil-”

“I don’t want to hear anything. I’ve already made lunches for you and Kid. Breakfast will be done soon. Why don’t you take your time and start getting ready. I heard morning baths are pretty nice.”

You had just stood there, staring at him. You were dumbfounded. He could only imagine what you had been thinkin in that moment.

“I’m going to take over anything food related. I’ll make breakfasts and your lunches. I’ll also feed your mom when you’re gone so you don’t have to worry. Then, I’ll make dinner at night. Whenever you get home, I can either make you a quick dinner, bring you some, or put yours in the fridge.” You were home late most nights, way past dinner. Sometimes you’d even skip dinner and he didn’t want that. He wanted to make sure you were eating.

“You don-”

He held up a hand and shook his head. “I know I don’t have to. But I love you guys and care about your wellbeing. You need help and I can do at least this much.”

You just stood there, staring at him. He knew you were reeling, trying to process what was happening. Mostly because you were so exhausted from everything. 

“I’ll also help your mother with her meds in the afternoon. That way you’re not rushing home from school, rushing to give her meds, then rushing to work. Mistakes happen more when you’re in a rush. I don’t want you to get into an accident or accidentally give your mother the wrong med and blame yourself. You just go straight to work and I’ll take care of things here.”

You still stood there, looking like you were going to cry. He knew you weren’t exactly used to being taken care of. Yes, you had your mother, but she worked a lot so it was mostly you looking out for yourself and Kid. Killer wanted to help you. He wanted to be the one to take care of you for once. “Let me be your little housewife,” he had joked, winking at you.

You had just broken down into tears, saying things like, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” and lines like that. In his eyes, it was the opposite. You were perfect to him and he was just a kick in a teeth a world painted gold. He just took you into his arms and held you until you were able to calm down and get ready. 

It had taken a little bit, but all of you adjusted to this new dynamic. He watched as the life returned to your face and you had a small pep in your step once more. You could trust him now and that helped you out immensely. Not that you didn’t trust him before it’s just…this was different. You could focus on working, school appointments for Kid when needed, and taking care of doctor appointments for your mother. He focused on more homebound things. He did the cooking, the cleaning, helping Kid with his homework, and taking care of your mom while he was home.

It was also during this time that he pretty much just moved in with you. You two were basically living a married life anyway, might as well move in.

He remembered one day while giving your mother her meds, she had a moment of lucidity. “Killer…”

He perked up immediately. “Yes?”

“I need to know…what is your plan?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your plan with y/n. Your plans for the future.”

Killer blinked at the sudden question, but he supposed it made sense. She could probably tell she was nearing the end. She wanted to make sure her children were taken care of. It hurt his heart at her own subtle admission of not making it. She had pretty much been a mother to him as well. He kept his tears inside though, not wanting to upset her in this rare moment of lucidity.

“I just want to make sure you’re not going to break their heart.”

Killer smiled softly and shook his head. “I would never. I know now that what we have wasn’t just some child fatuation turned into a teenage fling. I know I want to be by their side forever. It’s what feels right. Or I wouldn’t have done all this for them - for you. I care about them and Kid. I care about you. All of you are my family - even more than my own.” His smile grew and he took his hand in hers.

She gently squeezed it and nodded. “Good. It’s what they need, mostly y/n. They need someone who will be there for them. Someone stable and good. Someone to remind them that they need to take care of themselves too. When I first fell ill, I was worried that they would work themselves to death. You can believe my relief when they mentioned that you were going to start helping out.”

Killer chuckled and nodded. “They didn’t want my help, but I somewhat forced their hand.”

Your mother let out a small, wheezy laugh. “Good. It’s what they need.” She laughed again only for it to turn into a cough. He settled her back down and she fell asleep shortly after that.

He remembered the next day you had been accepted into the college you had applied to. You weren’t exactly sure what you were going to do yet, but the first two years were just gen-eds anyway, so you had time to figure it out.

A week after that, Kid graduated from middle school.

Then a week after that…your mother passed.

It was as if your mother had just wanted to make sure all of you were set. Once she saw that you would be just fine, she could finally move on.

Kid was a disaster - he was still a kid, after all. He had lost his parents in an accident and now he lost another parent. He was glued to your side as if he had been afraid he’d lose you too if he left for even a moment. You never grew annoyed with him, you were patient and strong for him.

You, on the other hand, were the opposite. You hardly cried. When it had happened, naturally you did cry, but only when it was just you and Killer. You didn’t want Kid to see you cry, you knew you needed to be strong for him. 

Killer will never forget what you had said when Kid asked why you didn’t cry. Your answer was simple. “Mom had already been gone for a long time. I have already done my grieving.” 

You had known that your mother wasn’t going to make it out of this. It was just a matter of when. That’s why you had opted for her to stay at the house where she could live out the rest of her days in the house she was familiar with, surrounded by people she loved. She could pass comfortably. You were incredibly lucky to have been able to do that as well. If it hadn’t been for Killer stepping in, you probably wouldn’t have been able to do it.

You were just glad she wasn’t in pain anymore. You knew she was watching from wherever she was with a smile on her face. You knew she was probably hanging out with Kid’s parents, all of them watching you together. 

Killer had never told you about the last conversation he had with your mother. Not like he wanted to keep it a secret from you, but he knew how your mind worked. He didn’t want you to be worried that he was only there because he made a promise to your dying mother.

He remembered when the band finally started to become more of a thing that summer - it had been a good distraction. Kid, Heat, Wire, and Killer all worked hard that summer to save up their money and buy things to officially start it. They set up in the garage and practiced all the time. You were always at work, so they didn’t have to worry about soundproofing or anything either.

When they finally wrote their first song, Kid begged you to come and watch. You kept making the excuse of work, constantly picking up extra shifts. You didn’t even need the money, your mother’s life insurance had you two covered for years to come, but you welcomed distraction.

One night after you came home, Killer was waiting for you in the room you two shared. You told you that you weren’t picking up an extra shift the next day. You were going to spend the afternoon with them.

You honestly didn’t even have the energy to fight him. You were kind of just drifting through.

That night, they performed the song for you. Killer got to watch first hand as life was breathed back into you. That spark was in your eyes once more. You were swaying and dancing along as they performed. All of them had been so happy to see you as yourself again. They were all worried sick about you.

After their little performance, you gave them glowing reviews. You knew, without the shadow of a doubt, they were going to make it - and they were going to make it big.

You were animated again. You had found a purpose. You wanted to be their manager - to be there every step of the way. You wanted to make sure they were successful. You wanted to make this a household man - fulfill the promise all of you made to each other all those years ago.

Just like that, you were back on track again. You switched your major to follow a business one. You wanted to be the best manager possible so that the boys could grow. You were insanely good at networking. You were charismatic and extremely persuasive. You were the one who was relentlessly calling venues to book for them.  You were the most dedicated of them all.

They really wouldn’t be anywhere without you. If the boys were low on energy and motivation, you were there to hype them up. You were their number one fan and supporter. The garage was turned more into a makeshift studio so that the boys would be more comfortable. It quickly became the hangout spot. 

As the friend group began to grow once you and Killer reached college, their support grew.

Then everyone’s, especially yours according to Killer, work paid off. They had signed with the biggest record label in the country. Everyone’s dreams were coming to fruition. You’d all move to the big city and have a fantastic time.

Only you wouldn’t go.

Killer remembered being so deflated when you said you wouldn’t go. You had wanted to finish out your education. You only had a little time left and this was the most crucial time for your degree. You’d start networking and getting to know more important people. You wanted to make sure that if things fell out with DQE that you’d have a backup plan. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t have faith in the boys - you didn’t trust that CEO. He felt slimy and gave you the jeebies. So, you wanted to make sure that there was a solid plan B, just in case.

Killer had tried to tell you that they could wait. That you could finish school and you all would go together, but you weren’t about to let that happen. This was the opportunity of a lifetime and it wasn’t guaranteed that it would still be there by the time you graduated. 

So, you separated. It tore Killer apart. This was the first time, since the two of you were seven, that you were apart this long. This kind of distance. You two had always just been a house away or maybe across town. Now there were hours in between you and he hated it. He often found himself turning to tell you something or look at you when something funny happened to see your face light up with laughter only to be met with the harsh reality that you weren’t there with them.

It fucking sucked.

Then…you started pulling away - everyone was. Diamante was trying to paint a narrative that everyone was jealous of their success, but that didn’t make sense to the four of them. Especially about you - you weren’t that kind of person.

Killer came to the conclusion that maybe their phones were ass. They were all old and used to rural places - not the city. So, they got new ones. That seemed to solve the problem - for a little while.

Then it was happening again. Everyone was pulling away. You were pulling away. He didn’t understand it. What was happening? Did you find someone else? No, he knew you wouldn’t. He had so much faith in you that he knew you didn’t just find someone else. He just didn’t understand.

Until he did.

The news hit the four of them like a ton of bricks. You were gone - fallen ill just as your mother had. You were gone and Killer hadn’t been there to take care of you. He threw his chair across the room, nearly taking out one of the windows in Doflamingo’s office. You had been sick and he wasn’t there to take care of you. Maybe if he was there…you would still-

--

“Killer?” The blond man was ripped out of his thoughts as someone said his name. It was that time of year again. It was your deathiversary. It always consumed him, so this year they wanted to try and work through it to distract themselves. Usually they’d take off, but they always ended up partying too hard and getting in trouble. They didn’t want to fuck this tour up.

Wire was sitting there, arms folded across his chest. He looked down at a plush keychain that he kept in his pocket. It was a little tangerine that you had bought him on one of your dates. 

Before Wire could say anything or ask questions, another voice piped in. “Huh. That’s weird.”

Both of their attention turned to Heat who was currently on his phone.

“Rev’s band is live.”

“Aren’t they, like, always live?” Kid said, not looking up from the soundboard.

“Well, kind of. But this is different…is that Doflamingo?”

Now that caught his attention. The three of them gathered around Heat, looking at the phone screen. It was damn near impossible with all of their massive figures to gather close enough to know what was going on.

Wire pulled out a laptop, pulling up the livestream. Everyone gathered around in the middle of Doflamingo’s monologue. 

The scene before them was a bit hard to make out at first. The camera was on the ground, pointed upwards as if laying on something. There was someone with their back to the camera and Doflamingo was towering over them looking pissed.

It took a moment to figure out what he was saying. “...I needed you out of the picture.” What the fuck was he talking about? Needed who out of the picture? Who the hell was he talking to? Was this some kind of skit? 

“Sounds like you needed a lot of things.”

Everyone’s blood ran cold as the other person on the screen spoke. The tension in the air grew thick and no one dared move an inch. It was as if they were seeing a ghost….

Because they were. 

Was that…you? Their y/n? What were you doing there? Alive? What was happening? The camera shifted to show you even more - confirming their suspicions.

Killer saw you there, looking sad. Face so lost and petrified. A timid twitch in your wide eyes.

 Was this an old video exposing Doflamingo? What did he do to you? Did you not fall ill after all? No, that was definitely you. The light that afternoon exposed the cracks in you - the ones you filled with dust. You looked so much older, shoulders folded over - pain circled in the sun. 

So many questions surfaced but Doflamingo was answering all of them. 

The CEO was confessing to everything. How he had tricked and manipulated the band to make them think everyone left them. How he had threatened Corazon. How he was mistreating everyone. It was absolutely vile. 

The four men felt sick to their stomachs. Had they really been so gullible? Well, Doflamingo really went the extra fucking miles to make it seem like you were dead. A fake gravesite? Fake obituaries? Blocking messages? It was insanity.

You spoke again, your voice like a warm blanket that washed over Killer. He had missed that sound so much. It was home to him. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He just wanted to teleport to where you were and wrap you up in his arms.

“Wait…why are you telling me this?”

The realization hit Killer before you even finished your sentence. He was out the door, running through the halls of the building. Fuck why the hell was it so labyrinth-y? This was fucking stupid! He needed to get to you before it was too late.

He couldn’t lose you again. Not when he didn’t even have you back yet.

He was so focused on finding Doflamingo’s office and getting to you in time that he didn’t realize everyone else was hot on his heels. 

He burst into the CEO’s office with ease. It had been locked but that wasn’t enough to keep Killer from you. Especially not now.

He opened the door just in time to see your eyes roll into the back of your head.

NEXT

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so i had this chapter made for like a week now, but i sat on it bc i Did Not like it. it didn't flow well.

then last night i was possessed and write out a whole outline for a different one in a couple hours. this one flows much better imo and it makes more sense to me. im typing it up tonight. i'll probably sleep on it and double check it tomorrow to make sure there's nothing missing and everything is kosher.

then i'll post ;)

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(hears a song lyric) this would make a great all-lower case fanfiction title

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THIS

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im so sorry to leave yall hanging like that its been crazy. i just moved 13 hours away from where i was at. currently settling in. the. i gotta go to dc from sunday to tuesday. ill try to update soon but i didn't forget i promise 😭

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Im rooting for all knights/bodyguards who are in love with their charge/the one they are sworn to protect

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The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 27: White Roses

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3k a/n: hohoho we have about 2-3 chapters left! and i move next thurs! things are going to be busy busy the next week, but i'll try my best to wrap it up. i already have a good idea how i want things to roll out, it's just motivating myself to type it. i have a bad habit of just writing it in bullet points on paper and then just never hyping it up and fluffing it out lmao anywayyy sorry for so much dialogue but hopefully it's not too boring! taglist: @kattywhomper @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @ttalgi @animesailor9 first|next

A wave of nausea washes over you as you stare at the small pamphlet in your hand. Just how far did Doflamingo go? This was obviously much deeper and more complicated than you could’ve ever imagined. You needed to talk to the boys. You needed to put this to rest. To hell with revenge, to hell with being complacent. What the hell was happening? 

You quickly fumbled around for your phone, dropping the CD in the process, but you didn’t care. You’d pick it up in a moment, you needed to get a picture and send it to someone before you were caught. This was important. 

Once your phone was out, you opened your camera, snapping a picture. As if you were in a movie, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. The second you sent it to Hop, the door burst open. Your heart stopped and you turned, your eyes wide. 

Doflamingo door there, the raging aura surrounding him. You swear you saw flames of anger around him for a split second once he saw you. Wasn’t he supposed to be in meetings all day? Fuck, must’ve been a decoy. You should’ve known.

“YOU.”

He began to make his way to you and you backed up, running back into his desk. You reached back to grab your mask so you could start recording, but since you were also moving at the same time and grabbing blindly, you just ended up knocking it down and it scattered along the floor. Just like that - you were trapped with nowhere to go as he towered over you. He looked at you for a long moment, his eyes narrowing as if he was trying to figure out who you were. You didn’t have your typical mask on but you weren’t showing your face.

Then it clicked in his head as he glanced at your mask that now laid on the floor.

“You.” His voice had toned down significantly. He looked down towards the paper in your hand and he took it, looking at it. He looked from your obituary to you. He snorted, shaking his head. “I should’ve seen this coming. A loose end I never cleaned up,” he grumbled, tossing the obituary on the desk.

He steps back slightly, but you still have no hopes of getting around him and out the door. You were a sitting duck and you weren’t even able to secretly record because your dumbass didn’t put your mask on and ended up knocking it off the desk.

Fuck you were screwed.

“You might as well take that tiny face mask off, y/n, I know it’s you.” He snorted, putting his hands in his pockets. He might’ve done that to seem like he wouldn’t attack. Like a predator pretending to put its claws away. However, you weren’t going to try anything. You weren’t stupid.

There was no point in trying to play games now. You took it off, glaring at him. A smile spread across his face. “It’s nice to finally meet you. You’re quite famous, you know. And I’m not talking about your alias.”

Confusion spread across your face and he nodded. “It's true. Towards the beginning, the boys talked about you all the time. They had planned on you being their manager, after all.” You were still confused about what was going on. Then what happened? Also, was he about to do one of those villain monologues?

He shakes his head as if debating something in his head. Then, you could see him come to a resolution. The fact you could read him so well was terrifying. Something told him he was allowing you to see all his thought processes. That he wasn’t hiding it for a reason.

“I saw such potential in them. I knew they could make it big. I knew they could rake in serious money. The only problem was they had a fall back plan.” Here went the monologue.

“They weren’t giving it their all because they weren’t pushed into a corner. They had a fall back plan. If things didn’t go well, they could just scurry on home and act like none of this ever happened - but I couldn’t have that. They were an untapped goldmine that I planned on getting every ounce of money from.” He shook his head, beginning to pace as he spoke.

“So, I needed to make sure that they didn’t have somewhere to crawl back to. I needed this to be their only option. I needed them to be completely malleable and easy to control. I needed them to do exactly as I said - no hesitation. I didn’t need some little wannabe manager to join the fray and screw everything up when they graduated.” He looked pointedly at you and you couldn’t help but flinch.

“I needed you out of the picture. I needed to break their spirits.”

“Sounds like you needed a lot of things.” You immediately stopped talking as he glared at you. This wasn’t the time to be a smartass. You weren’t in the position to be able to be one and you somewhat forgot.

“Anyway, I needed to get rid of you and all of your friends. Only, I didn’t know how to do that. I started with having people hack into their phones and start blocking messages from coming in and sending. Slowly at first, to make it seem like you were just drifting apart.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Then they went and got new phones like that was the issue. I let them have that a little longer before I started everything back up again. Slower responses until there was nothing. However, that wasn’t working. They just insisted that they needed to go and visit you guys. That maybe that would help things. Especially Killer.” He rolled his eyes again and your chest tightened. “He was so disgustingly in love with you that he couldn’t focus the less we let the messages go through. Everything wasn’t working. I knew I had to take it further.”

He turned towards you. “When they proposed visiting all of you, I was in full support - I had to be. I had to be all they had once they realized you were all gone.” He chuckled, clearly proud of himself as you looked at him with a confused expression. “At this point, I already had someone watching you guys. I knew you had been staying at your friends’ house and working for the most part, hardly going home. I knew if they went, you wouldn’t be there, which would help.”

You felt sick. The amount of planning and thought that went into this just to control some people was insane. He could’ve decided on a different group. A group that didn’t have ties. Why did he have to go so far? Was his greed for money really so large? And how the hell did he know they’d be so successful? Was he desperate and willing to do whatever it took to succeed? You didn’t know and frankly, didn’t want to.

“They had even stopped by your work, but I had staged it so perfectly and had someone help them in such a way that they stalled them without them even realizing. Enough for you to leave from work. I had another person that worked for me that the boys didn’t know pretend to work at your job. They falsely told them that you had quit some time ago and they didn’t know where you were.” He sent them on a wild goose chase essentially.

He sighed, folding his arms. “They came back, bummed. I didn’t give them too much time to look around anyway. I couldn’t risk them running into one of your other friends. Though, this was also during the summer, so luckily a lot of your friends were away.” He shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing. “It was a lot of work, but I knew it would pay off in the end.”

He snorted. “Though, I almost gave up. They were gaining popularity, yes. They were doing well, but not as good as they could. They were still bummed about the whole…situation. They still wanted to go see you. They were still attached. They were saying they were concerned about you - ‘this wasn’t like you’ or whatever.” He shook his head. “Annoying, really. I needed to take this as far as I could go.”

“Some of their theories were a little funny.” A small laugh came from him. “One of them was that you were dying and you didn’t want them to know. So you were texting them less and less, trying to get them to hate you, until you eventually just died!” He was fully on belly laughing at this point and you could only look at him completely horrified. How the hell was that funny? That was awful!

He straightened himself back up, wiping a tear. “However, that did give me the idea to kill you off.” He snorted. Your eyes widened, face paling.

“I sat them down in this office right here and I gave them the devastating news along with a copy of that obituary that you saw. They couldn’t believe it - they were besides themselves. I could see the life draining from their eyes. They were close to being exactly how I needed them. Victory was so close I could taste it.”

He licked his lips in a way that made your skin crawl. You wanted nothing more than to run away, but he was still blocking the damn exit.

“They wanted to go to your funeral, but I also had to break the news that it had already passed and you had been cremated.” His face soured slightly. “The big lug nearly tore my office apart at the time, throwing a damn chair across the room.” He shook his head as he told you about how Killer reacted. You had never seen him act in such a way, so it was hard to even imagine.

“They asked for some time off to grieve and as the kind and generous CEO that I am - I let them go. They tried to text your friends but my people had all the messages deleted before they even reached the phones of those friends.”

You blinked. Wait, he let them go? But, you would’ve been -

Then it dawned on you. The timing. You had just left on vacation. None of you were in town, so they wouldn’t have been able to disprove that you were still alive. 

“I even had a fake grave made for you in the cemetery and everything.” He pulled up a picture and showed it to you like someone showing off their dog. “Pretty proud of myself for pulling that one off.” He snorted, shaking his head. “And on such short notice? Money really can buy anything.” He set his hands on his hips, grinning to himself.

“I knew you were on vacation, so when the boys said they wanted to stick around for a little bit, I let them. I knew you folks wouldn’t be back for a good minute. Celebrating graduations, summer, and the likes. It fell perfectly into place.” There was a sick smile on his face as he clasped his hands together. “They were devastated when they came back. Husks of the people they used to be.” It was disgusting how happy he was that they were so miserable. Doflamingo was so much more evil than you could’ve ever imagined. Going this far? That was diabolical.

“They were the perfect little soldiers after that. I worked them until they couldn’t anymore and then I kept working them. They never questioned anything, doing whatever I said. Hell, I’m not even sure they remember the first few weeks after the news hit them. It was a bit of a learning curve but then the money really started coming in.” He snorted and it dawned on you. What you had seen on the TV back then, Killer more than likely wasn’t in the right state of mind. He had no idea that you were alive and kicking. And he was probably told to do it.

Oh, you were absolutely going to be sick.

“Eventually, they gathered their bearings. They wanted to go to their hometown one last time. To really make sure what they had seen was real - so, I let them go. They were met with a big ‘FOR SALE’ sign on that house that you owned. It had been cleaned out and ready to be sold as if no one ever lived in it. The last little piece they had left - it was gone. They had nothing now.” He cackled again and you flinched slightly. You felt tears stinging the corners of your eyes. You couldn’t imagine the pain they all felt.

“Thanks to you, they had no fall back plan anymore.” You wanted to throw up.

“When they came back, they were ready to give everything their all. Oh, they were flying up the charts. They made a promise that everything they did was for you. That they’d made it to the top for you and whatnot.” He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Whatever other sappy shit you wanna say, but they did it in the name of you. I didn’t really care what they did it in the name of as long as they followed what I said, they’d rake it in. And they did. We earned so much and we’re still earning so much.” He cackled loudly. “And it’s showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon!”

Tears were falling down your face. Endless streams. You couldn’t believe it. The thought never crossed your mind because you didn’t think someone would be so fucking evil to do something like that. Or if they were, not be smart enough to pull it off. Doflamingo was both. He had money, brains, black tar evil in his heart. A shitstorm of a terrible human being that shouldn’t be allowed to be in the position he is.

After he calmed down, he turned to you once more. “Which then begs the question - what the hell are you doing here? Was Corazon trying to get you to do his dirty work? Find something incriminating on me so he can get out of our contract? Are you two in cahoots?”

Now you were confused and Doflamingo saw it. He nodded. “He’s using you to speak out against me, if you can find anything to do so. He can’t legally say anything due to the contract he’s bound by. He’s not allowed to say anything against me unless he wants a shitstorm.”

You’re hesitant, but you bite. “What happens if he does?” Surely it was some kind of fee. What was at risk that Corazon was willing to let someone like Doflamingo do whatever he wanted? Unless Corazon wasn’t as good as you thought he was.

“I kill Law.” Doflamingo shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It felt like you’d been sucker punched in the gut. Fucking WHAT?

“Law isn’t aware of this, but I have people around him that are ready to kill him at any moment. I just have to say the word. People that Law trusts. His manager being one of them.” He chuckled. “He thinks Vergo is on his side, but little does he know that the man would kill him without a second thought if I so much as said so.” Why would he do that? Does Corazon have some kind of crazy evidence on him? What would provoke him to do something like that? 

Fucking fuck dude. Just how evil could this dude get? Then something hit you like a freight train.

“Wait…why are you telling me all of this?”

A slow, sly, disgusting smile stretched across his face as he slowly walked over to you. Your heart started racing, but there was nowhere you could go. You were stuck. There was no ducking and dodging. Not with a man as large as him. “You’re smart. I know you’ve already figured it out.”

You swallowed hard, sweat starting to form on your forehead. He’s right. You’ve already figured it out. He didn’t plan on letting you get out of here alive. You were going to die here with all of his secrets. The classic villain confessing everything before killing the hero. 

“B-But my friends. They’ll notice if I go missing. The band. Our fans.” You were grasping at straws but you knew it was useless. He already made up his mind and you knew too much.

Doflamingo shook his head. “You and your counterparts are faceless. I could easily replace all of you and do to your other friends what I did with Victoria Punk. Slowly have you all pull away. History repeats itself. Fans are none the wiser because you never showed your face on screen before.”

Panic is set deep in your bones. “The fans aren’t dumb. They’d know if we were replaced. They’re too smart. I create stories for them to decipher - they’ll know.”

“Guess I’ll figure it out then. Perhaps fame was too much for you and the pressure pushes you over the edge.” His hands find their way around your throat. They’re large, easily wrapping around the entirety of your throat. Killing you was going to be so easy for him. He’s not going to have to put much effort forth at all.

“You’ve brought me a lot of money and I thank you for that.” He slowly started squeezing and you started clawing and trying to pull him away, but he’s just too large, too strong.

“You know, admitting all that really got things off my chest. I feel a lot better now - lighter.” He grinned, your vision going blurry. He says something else but he’s too far away. You can’t make it out. You’ve started to accept you’ll die here. This time you were really going to die and you possibly just got your friends killed too.

Everything goes black.

NEXT

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reblog and put in the tags the 13th sentence from any WIP

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so im back from my vacay. got to see my new niece and say by to the fam before i move next week. been working in the next chapter and holy toledo batman its a lot of dialogue