#vegan holiday dinner

[vegan-nom-noms]

Savoury Puff Pastry Christmas Trees

[thesiouxzy]

💗🦃💗

Thanksgiving is next week! 🤯 The comment section of my original post below has a lot of good plant based holiday recipes & ideas (click on the photo to see the comments. I know it says “Log into FB” in the linked boxes below but ignore that. If you click on the box 👇🏼it will take you to my post)

Make your holidays compassionate ones & leave animals off your plate. It’s very easy to do now a days. There are plant based versions of any meat of dairy item you can think of available online or at your local grocery store. As always, if I can be of help feel free to message me

Extend your kindness & compassion to ALL animals, not just the ones we call pets 💗🦃🐷🐮🐣🐰🦆🐙🐟💗

[animalsoutloud]

46 million turkeys are killed for Thanksgiving. This holiday, begin a new tradition of kindness by leaving these sweet and affectionate souls off of your plate.

[lavandamichelle]

200 Must-Try Christmas Recipes for Every Diet: Traditional, Keto, and Vegan

The holiday season is all about indulgence, joy, and gathering around the table with loved ones. Whether you’re hosting a traditional Christmas feast or looking for more inclusive options for your guests, these 200 must-try Christmas recipes will help you craft the perfect holiday spread. From classic mains to innovative Keto-friendly and Vegan recipes, there’s something for everyone this season.…

[onefite]

Top 5 best vegan recipes

Top 5 best vegan recipes Introduction to Vegan and Vegetarian Recipes Stepping into the world of vegan and vegetarian cuisine opens up a universe of vibrant flavors, diverse textures, and nourishing ingredients. Whether you’re transitioning to a plant-based diet for health, ethical, or environmental reasons, or simply looking to add more veggies to your meals, these recipes are designed to…

[theplantbasedintrovert]

Dinner for tonight: Kung Pao mushrooms over brown rice with quinoa. Eat up #monday #holiday #dinner #kungpao #mushrooms #tasty #vegan #veganrecipes #veganfoodshare #plantbased #plantbasedfood #plantbasedrecipes #foodie #vegfoodie #thevegswitchup #theplantbasedintrovert #eatyourveggies #sznyourfood https://www.instagram.com/p/Co6Cn0Zuxdd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[cjcooksvegan]

Dinner Date Ideas For a Valentine's Night In

dinner date ideas for a valentine's night in :) #vegan #valentinesday #easycooking

A lot of people enjoy going out on Valentine’s Day with their significant other. It makes a lot of sense-all the cooking and prepwork is already done, so you can just savor the evening with your partner. (more…) “”

[zegrasdrysdale]

“shh! they’ll hear us”

with nico hischier

part of the 1k celly event

summary : Nico and his girlfriend host a Christmas party on the eve of the holiday for the Devils before their roadie begins right after Christmas

warning(s) : nsfw ! sexual content, fingering, oral (f receiving), public teasing, dirty talk

author’s note : happy holidays to all who celebrate ! decided that my gift to y'all is another installment of the 1k celly series. enjoy whatever holiday you and your family celebrate <33

༺──────────────༻

Something is wrong with Nico.

Not physically wrong, but he’s just acting different. This behavior didn’t start until his teammates and coaches began showing up at their loft apartment for the party they’re hosting for the Devils players and staff. She been playing captain's girlfriend and has answered every doorbell then began making rounds to greet each player and coach.

All while Nico keeps a hand on her.

Her boyfriend isn’t usually the one to be affectionate in public so his hand constantly being on some part of her body is throwing her off her game. She’s more focused on his touch than conversing with her guests.

She doesn’t know what brought on this side of Nico, but she kind of likes it. She’s always wanted to be more affectionate around their friends and family, but Nico was never a huge fan and she didn't push it. All eyes were already on her since she's Nico's girlfriend so early on, she didn't care.

Right now though, she's curious.

Coach Keefe and his family arrive last, which signals the end of her time greeting teammates and coaches that arrive at their apartment for the party. She focuses on conversing with her guests and making sure everyone is okay.

What usually feels like a very large apartment feels very small at the moment. There is an entire NHL team scattered throughout the loft with their families. She can't even escape to the kitchen like she often does when there are so many people because there is a catering group preparing the meal.

Nico doesn't leave her side as they socialize amongst the players and coaches in attendance. He doesn't stop touching her either. He rests a hand on her waist or on her lower back now that they've started to have longer conversations and not running to the door to answer it.

Okay, that's very different. His behavior is making her very curious. It makes her wonder if there is something going on that he's not telling her.

Dinner is served around six. A mix of vegan and non-vegan options so everyone has something to eat. They've brought in extra tables and chairs so the adults can fit around the dining room table. Within their parents' eyesight, the kids sit at a smaller table together to eat. They are out of earshot though so the adults can have conversations that little ears shouldn't hear.

Her first serving is lasagna. It's probably the best lasagna she’s ever had. Perfect cheese to sauce to pasta ratio. Some of everything in every bite she takes. She lets out a borderline pornographic moan as she chews the bite.

Nico laughs beside her as he eats some of the steak he grabbed. “That good?” he asks with a grin.

“So good, Nico,” she tells him with a full mouth. “Oh my God. We are absolutely going to get this catering group again next time we host a party. Fuck.”

He laughs again and takes another bite of his steak.

She begins a conversation with Kristen Haula on her left side. The women talk about how well the boys have played, complimenting the other’s significant other as they talk. Their laughs are among others as small talk continues at the table.

Everyone’s plates are nearly empty about a half an hour later. Erik has jumped into her conversation with his wife while Nico converses with Jack and Luke on the other side of him.

Yet, his hand comes down on her knee under the table cloth. She folds her hands and holds them in front of her mouth as she presses her lips into a line. She listens to the Haulas share a story about their kids, and Nico’s hand slides up her thigh to the hem of her skirt.

Bold considering his teammates and coaches surround him. If any of them see him, he’s probably going to be incredibly embarrassed since it’s very rare that he’s this affectionate in public. Even in his own apartment.

She doesn’t stop him though. She should, but she lets him keep going. Even after his finger dip under the hem of her tight skirt. Her teeth pull at her bottom lip behind her hands. She begins to tune out the story that Kristen is telling her, focusing on Nico’s touch that moves closer to her uncovered core. Yes, she decided to go without a pair of panties because they would have shown through her dress via lines. Her dress is skin tight and she didn’t think she’d be doing much leaning over.

Little did she know that Nico’s fingers would be inches away from said core while his teammates and coaches sit at the table around him. She didn’t think that Nico would try to do this while at the table with his friends.

His fingers trace shapes under the skirt, teasing her since they’re so close to her core. She can feel butterflies begin to flutter in the pit of her stomach, the possibility of getting caught like this turning her on.

She’s about to make a comment about the story that the Haulas shared when Nico’s fingers dip between her crossed legs and graze her clit. His fingers run between her folds and dips into her.

She gasps at the action and covers her mouth as if she let out a hiccup.

“I, um …” she trails off as Nico shallowly fingers her. “I’m going to run to the ladies room very quickly. Excuse me.” She pushes her chair back and Nico’s hands slides out from under her skirt.

As normally as she can, she disappears down the hallway toward the bedroom she shares with Nico. She closes the door and leans against the wood. She clears her throat and lets out a heavy sigh.

The feeling of Nico’s hand between her legs is still there and she presses her thighs together to get some kind of friction.

Why would he do that? Now of all times? He has every opportunity in the world to finger her and he does it at Christmas Eve dinner with his team around him?

Something is wrong with Nico.

A soft knock rings throughout the empty room. She is quick to turn and open the bedroom door, coming face to face with her boyfriend.

“You are insane, you know that?” she questions. “God. If anyone saw what you were doing-”

“Good thing no one did then.”

He steps into the room and shuts the door with a click. Her mind races a thousand miles a second as Nico looks at her. “You are genuinely the craziest person I have ever met,” she reiterates.

“Mhm,” Nico hums as he takes a step toward her. “Tell me more.”

She takes a step back every time he takes a step toward her. “You did all that for what?” she asks. “You go from rarely every touching me or holding my hand to putting your fingers inside me at a table filled with your coaches and teammates. If that was your way of telling me that you want to be more affectionate in front of people then good job-”

Her knees hit the edge of the mattress and she is forced to sit when she falls. She looks up at Nico, who nudges her knees apart and stands between them.

“Are you done?” he asks as he traces her jaw with the game fingers he had inside her a few minutes ago. “Or are you going to let me finish what I started at the table?”

Heat rushes to her cheeks when Nico mentions the table. She nods in response to his question.

Nico sinks to his knees in front of her. Her eyes track his moment as he pushes her knees apart to get a perfect view of her glistening core. His lip drags across his bottom lip before he presses a trail of kisses up her thigh from her knee.

“Oh my God,” she gasps when his lips touch her core. She leans back and props herself up on her elbows. She drops her head back at the same time Nico pushes her skirt up so it pools around her waist.

His tongue runs through her soaked folds and she sighs at the feeling. Nico hasn’t shaved in a few days either so it feels really good to have his mouth on her. She arches her back when Nico’s tongue pushes inside of her.

“Fuck!” she cries out. “Nico!”

“Shh!” Nico tells her. “They’ll hear us. You need to be a little more quiet. Or I’ll have no choice but to stop and leave you like this.”

She shakes her head and Nico smiles up at her before he puts his mouth on her core. Her jaw drops when he slips a finger inside of her. It takes everything to not cry out his name again as he fingers her closer to her inevitable orgasm.

Between his mouth and his fingers, it won’t be long until she comes anyway.

Nico slowly works her closer to the edge, quickening and slowing his pace to keep her from coming before he’s ready to let her. She’s a panting mess under his touch and the knot in her stomach tightens to the point where it’s almost painful.

Her legs shake where they rest on Nico’s shoulders. She looks down and finds Nico looking up at her through his eyelashes.

His fingers curl in a ‘come here’ motion inside her at the same time he sucks on her clit. “Fuck,” she sighs. “Fuck, Neeks. Wanna come. Wanna make a mess on your face and fingers. Please, please please please. Wanna come.”

“Come then,” he mumbles against her sensitive skin. “You wanna make a mess on my face? Then come, baby.”

It only takes a few more curls of his fingers and sucks on her clit before she’s coming. Her entire body tenses as she comes. She cries out his name in soft whispers so their guests don’t hear her. Her vision whitens and she sees stars behind closed eyes.

Her body melt into the mattress beneath her. She whines at the loss of contact. Her legs drop off his shoulders as he stands up. He grabs something to clean her up. She sits up when he’s done, grabbing his waist before he has a chance to clean his face.

With wobbly legs, she stands up and wraps her arms around his neck. “Come here,” she breathes out. Nico smiles and leans down, initiating a soft kiss. She hums when she tastes herself on his lips. She deepens the kiss a bit and runs her fingers through his hair.

“What you did at the table was kind of hot,” she mumbles against his lips. “The idea of getting caught with your fingers inside me kind of turned me on. I won’t lie to you.”

Nico grins and pulls back from the kiss.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

༺──────────────༻

MASTERLIST | 1K CELLY EVENT

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[jovialobservationanchor]

The gentle blue light of the illusions reminded Harry of Patronuses in an aching way. He liked the soft glow of them on Draco’s face. Draco, for all his theatrics in Hagrid’s Magical Creatures class and his more understated shyness of Luna’s animals, regarded them with an unguarded awe. He liked clever magic. How had Harry never noticed what a boffin he was?

They were standing in front of a jackalope when Draco turned to meet Harry’s stare. His eyebrows lifted in inquiry.

Harry felt his face heat, but he was still tipsy from the beer and was, after all, an alumnus of Gryffindor. He leaned in to kiss Draco.

Title: Wont

(A holiday-flavored sequel to Knead, my coffeeshop AU set in Oregon!)

By: laughingd0g

Length: 37k

Summary: This is what happens after.

Tags: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter EWE, AU, coffee shops and cafes, farm/ranch, slice of life, Portland Oregon, Ex-Auror Harry Potter, Baker Draco Malfoy, Muggle life, established relationship, banter, friendship, drinking, wine, food pr0n, fluff, stress baking, kitchen sex, miscommunication, minor Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, vegetarians and vegans, food fight, Christmas Eve, Christmas, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve

Read on AO3

I was going to wait till I’d released the short epilogue to make this Tumblr post, but I can’t wait any longer to share this beautiful artwork by my dear @rama-thorn. Merry Christmas, friends.

(The epilogue is coming, though! 🥰 )

[octuscle]

Halloween Spirit

Mortimer didn't think much of video games and the like. Like social media, he blamed them for the dumbing down of the population and the success of populist parties. And if proof were needed, his cousin Dylan was proof. Dumb as a bag of

Since he couldn't find a hotel anymore, Mortimer had been forced to stay with Dylan during a conference. They hadn't talked much, Dylan was usually out with his “bros.” At the gym, at the sports bar, at the football game. Mortimer had used the evenings accordingly and cleaned the apartment, which was quite a mess. And when he came home in the evening, he was glad when a little of that cleanliness and order remained. Today he was lucky: the apartment was almost in the same condition as when he left it in the morning. There was only a PSP with a note on the dining room table. In Dylan's clumsy handwriting it said, “Bro, can you help me with the Halloween quiz? I always fail on the first I'll be back at eight, let's go for a steak then.” Mortimer was a vegan. Of course Dylan knew that. Mortimer sighed, took the PSP and sat down on the sofa.

“What is the etymology of the name Halloween?“ Good heavens, thought Mortimer! Is this going to continue at this level? He typed in ‘All Hallows’ Eve.” “Who does the custom of carving and lighting jack-o'-lanterns commemorate (last name, first name)?” Did Dylan really not know that, Mortimer wondered and typed in “Jack Oldfield.” “Wrong” lit up on the display. “The correct answer would have been 'Oldfield, Jack'.” Out of the blue, Mortimer had to burp. Stupid software, he thought. A good AI would have recognized that he had only mixed up the order. He took a sip of cola from the can on the coffee table. ‘On which day do children in Germany traditionally go from door to door collecting sweets?’ Mortimer scratched his head. That was on St. Martin's Day. But when was that again? He typed in “November 11th.” Again, “Wrong! The correct message would have been November 10th.” Mortimer burped again. Hehehe, that was a good one. Came from the chili today. He took a slice of cold pizza out of the box next to him and moved on to the next question. “What is a zombie brain hemorrhage?” Mortimer had no idea. He just wrote “a TV series”. “Wrong, a zombie brain haemorrhage is a cocktail made of peach schnapps, mint liqueur, Bailey's Irish cream and a dash of grenadine.” Mortimer farted. Damn, the chili had been really good. But something else stank too. Mortimer raised his arm. No, that wasn't it. That was honest man sweat. Just the way a man had to smell. Mortimer pushed up his undershirt and scratched his stomach. This game was really boring. ���What is the most popular Halloween costume of 2024?” Mortimer didn't feel like it anymore. He would put on his football gear like every year. With that, he could get any guy into bed. Especially the little nerds. They weren't so bad, usually made a real effort in bed… Shit, what was the question again? Okay, so “football player”. “Wrong, the correct answer would have been ‘Shrunken Head Bob’.” Was there another beer in this pigsty, Mortimer wondered. He looked at what other games Dylan had on the PSP. When was the idiot finally coming home? They were supposed to go out for a steak with the guys. Mortimer could definitely use some protein. He flexed his biceps. Yes, the babies needed feeding.

“Bruh, im still stucc in traffic. Ill b home in about a quarter of an hr. Get ready fo' an epic dinner!” Mortimer knew what that meant. He wouldn't need his best buddy Dylan for the next hour. Enough time to play another round of Peace Walker. And then there was finally meat, almost raw, just how Morty liked it best. Hehehe, rare is also good for Halloween. His favorite holiday. But who could come up with such a stupid quiz with smart-aleck questions about it was a mystery to him.

[ivystoryweaver]

Hello Ivy! Could I please get some headcanons for marital bliss with the Moon Knight system? Congratulations on 1000! 🌹

Moon Boys Marital Bliss

.✧ ˚ Being married is getting to hang out with your best friend all the time˚ · .✧

Heyyy, thank you so much, I love this prompt!

fluff, domestic life, romance, slightly suggestive, gn Word Count: 625

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

Steven loves having someone to come home to - someone who made vows to him. It's very grounding for him after a quite confusing existence previously.

Sometimes he gets distracted during his work day just imagining you walking in the door - your scent drifting down the hallway, the timbre of your voice - the allure of your eyes

The cool weight of his wedding band anchors him when he is apart from you and often so easily dismissed by others.

He’ll smile to himself and rub his thumb across it, imagining the way your eyes will sparkle with excitement to see him.

He can’t wait for chance to pull you into his arms and bury his nose in the spot just behind your ear. “Missed you, love.”

Steven is your menu-planning, vegan-shopping, bumping-elbows-while-washing dishes buddy. Dinner is always an adventure (and a mess) with this one.

You’ve never flirted so much while doing chores.

Steven makes life interesting, like an exploration. He's always seeking something - wanting to know more about the world around him, the history before him, and everything that makes you tick, that makes you happy, that makes you fall apart in his bed.

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

Marc is so so neat. His past taught him to blend in, fade away, disappear into the background

You hear a groan if your jacket hits the chair when you get home. You gladly pick it up because you hate cleaning the bathroom and Marc keeps it spotless

Showers with Marc are sweet or spicy. He always washes your back, caresses your skin and kisses you senseless. It's your favorite place to have his undivided attention.

You love bumping shoulders with him while you brush your teeth. He is a nonverbal communicator, so you relish the chance to watch him the mirror. Those smoldering brown eyes will rake over your form, whether you're in an oversized t-shirt or your best outfit. (or nothing at all)

It's lovely having someone organized and clean - it takes some pressure off, and it's a relief to not have to pick up after someone sloppy.

Marc is intense and devoted - you're the center of his universe and you know it. You could go an entire day without him speaking a word, and you still know. Long fingers brush your arm, heated kisses fall on your neck, longing gazes set you on fire.

And nothing shows you his intensity and devotion more than when you spend all night in his arms.

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

Ever since you moved into a house with a garage, Jake is in his own little heaven.

You never took your husband for a "man cave" kind of guy, but he loves to tinker with his car, have a drink, watch baseball and get into all sorts of projects

Sometimes you catch him with grease smudged on his forehead - somehow Jake makes any look sexy

He teaches you how to take care of your car - change a tire, stuff like that

Sometimes you bring him a beer and hang on to him. He secretly waits for you to do this - for you to seek him out, to cling to him, to need him

And you do need him. Jake loves to take care of you but he fully understands you can take care of yourself. The trust you give him means everything to him. No one has ever trusted him before now, or even really known him.

He loves the privacy the garage affords him - it helps him recharge his personal battery. But before too long, he'll always conveniently want to show you a thing or two - before he does a thing or two to you in the back seat of his car

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

1000 Follower/Holiday Celebration Masterlist

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[not-the-coffee-machine4]

this will probably be long but I don’t care

It never ceases to amaze me how decent the people in Queen all are. Like yeah they are a major rock band and there was no shortage of Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll™️ going on. We know this. I’m not trying to portray them as perfect people.

But like, if you look at literally anything anyone who’s spent time with them has said or just their actions in general it’s almost hard to believe how like…generous and kind they all are. I mean especially comparing to stuff you hear about the other people/groups at the time.

Freddie bought Christmas dinners for all AIDS patients in hospitals every year. He was a great tipper. He invited anyone who had nowhere else to go to Garden Lodge for holiday dinners. He bought his friends Christmas presents for a Christmas he knew he wouldn’t see. He bought Jim a car. He took in a stranded musician in Japan and sent his driver up to McDonalds when he discovered the person (I’m sorry I don’t remember who it was) didn’t like sushi and then paid the owner to let the guy just sit there. He was the peacemaker of Queen. Everyone around him has always said how funny, kind, generous, and respectful he was.

Roger got a taste of a solo career and immediately went “I’m going to raise awareness for a whole bunch of issues because I am in the position to do so.” He wrote songs about war, racism, socioeconomic inequality, AIDS, neo-Nazism/holocaust denial, domestic violence. He called out religious extremism, politicians, and the extremely wealthy sometimes by name. He’s a patron of Cornwall Pride. He had a signed congratulations note delivered to a couple who got engaged during Somebody To Love. And of course, he co-founded the Mercury Phoenix Trust and then nearly single-handedly organized what remains the largest tribute concert ever the proceeds of which went to the MPT

Brian is Brian. I mean anyone who follows him on Instagram will know he just has a philosophy of treating people with kindness. He’s a queer ally, he calls out crazy right-wing people on a variety of issues, he calls for a ceasefire in Gaza and he champions animal rights. And he practices what he preaches as you will know if you kept up with their last Japan tour and his quest to find vegan food. Not to mention as well as also being a co-founder of the MPT, he and Roger went on national television ONE WEEK after Freddie died to dispel homophobia, AIDS fearmongering, and to raise awareness (not to mention trying to clear up everything the press had been saying about Freddie).

As John is the quiet, private person not much is known about him regarding this but he obviously had deep love and respect for Freddie and I mean there is something to say about the company you keep.

I don’t really have a point I just marvel at it

[splatoonpolls]

speedrunners are so chaotic neutral like you could see a video called “why speedrunners divorce their wife in Galactic Salaryman Larry: Rebound edition” and it will be like

“in the original version. The wife will always make chicken parm for dinner. In rebound however, there’s a 25% chance after you send your daughter to art school that she will become vegan. Which will cause an argument when she returns home for the holidays. To remove this issue and remove 6.3 seconds. They divorce the wife to ensure there will be no chicken parm on the table”

[ozzgin]

Alright pookies, this is the final batch of grandma Ozz and her gifts. Once again, I wish you all happy holidays - regardless of what you celebrate - and may we remain good friends in the coming years. Thank you for all the lovely messages and wishes! Lastly, don't fret: grandma Ozz will be back again someday.

P.S.: Some of you have asked what's inside the bag. It shall remain a mystery.

Dear 🎸 anon, not only will I offer you a hug, but I'll play you like you've never been played before. I took down my old accessories from the attic, and I'm ready to rock and roll.

Dear @bee-unknown, thank you for gracing us with her Majesty's presence. Do allow me to offer you a gift in return: a royal cape for her royal cat-Highness. I suspect she is equally unhappy with my tomfoolery.

Dear 🐛 anon, I...Thank you. Though I would prefer if your friend fed on something other than my wrinkled forehead. Here, have a crisp apple.

Dear anon, do not lose hope. Here's a pair of lucky underwear that shall grant you irresistible charm. When in doubt, remind yourself of all the yandere and monster OCs who are head over heels for you. Go out and break hearts, kiddo.

Dear 🐘 anon, a merry Christmas and happy holidays to you as well! Have some roller skates for a little adventure. Who says elephants can't skate?

Dear anon, your werewolf boyfriend is already waiting for you. In fact, he keeps repeating a phrase I'm not quite familiar with - asking where the hell have you been, loca.

Dear 🐦‍🔥 anon, welcome to the family! Allow me to offer you some sunscreen as I suspect the constant burning isn't the best for your skin. It's vegan and cruelty-free, PETA certified.

Dear 🎠 anon, thank you for being part of the community. I bring you some proper hot cocoa and a warm, cozy blanket, so we can have a festive hangout. Merry Christmas!

Dear anon, I've got you covered. Light, portable, and subtle. No one will suspect a thing when you excuse yourself from the grand family dinner.

Dear anon, I thank you for the lovely wishes. Might you perchance be Muslim? Grandma happened to have a fair amount of classmates who'd return from Ramadan with a platter of baklava for the whole class. Here's a silver tray. You know what to do. I'll be waiting.

Dear @momma-beany, I- Oh my. I thank you for the generous offer, though...hmmm. Perhaps I can indulge a little, I suppose. I could use a little help. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Dear anon, I thank you for the mysterious gift. In return I offer you the spirit of Christmas itself. Handle it with care.

Dear @squishsquishdish, @theressaicon and anons, your wishes have been dutifully noted. Until the time comes, I offer you all a soft, little reminder of the rascals you've fallen in love with.

Dear anon, here's the key to the locker rooms of Yandere School. They'll take care of it. It's all I'm going to say.

Dear 🧇 anon, thank you for the thoughtful gift. I'm afraid I've taken a bite already, though I shall now place it as requested.

Dear anon, here's some raw potatoes to quench your desires. Grandma is sadly too old for cheeky shenanigans.

Jail. (I'm kidding, anon. Merry Christmas)