#ur a dick

[lilyystarr]

nah i’m gonna start hurting ppl, tf you mean i can’t use contractions in this fuck ass uni assignment, you want me to write cannot instead of can’t? do not instead of don’t???

fuck u

[drurrito]

i have a headcannon that you go really hard for sweet caroline btw

Absolutely not I despise that song and only sing along when I’m in the Midwest for my own safety

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

headcanon

damian is surprisingly good at playing a non traumatised ten year old. at first he doesn’t understand why he would need to ever play the part until he watches his family act at a gala. he now understands the mission to protect their identities.

he slips into the role easily. he acts shy around strangers and soft around his siblings. even going so far as to let them carry him around. if he notices someone is uncomfortable or not overwhelmed he will walk up to his father with puppy dog eyes taught to him by grayson and say “father i’m tired” the other members of gotham high society will coo at his formal words and father will scoop him up before collecting his other siblings.

he’s also unsurprisingly good at fake crying. (i mean look at the poor kid and all his trauma)

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[vespertilionis]

Has a skincare routine: Dick, Jason, Duke, Bruce, Babs, Steph

“I just use water”: Cass, Tim

“Stop trying to force me into a skincare routine I’m 10”: Damian

[ashrayus]

i know you’ve already drawn them a bunch but i love them so much (especially in ur style)

soooo dick & jay? maybe in civilian clothes

never enough drawings of them!! :3

[duckysprouts]

dick grayson the type of brother to slobber all over a food item before offering it to his sibling when they ask for a bite, knowing they’d refuse out of disgust

tim drake the type of brother to eat the entire thing without blinking to the disgust of everyone else (not on purpose he was just too out of it to care)

[temperamentalaquarius]

Rip Steph Brown and Dick Grayson, you're not dead but the nearly identical girly pop makeovers the fandom has assigned you in lieu of engaging with your actual canon personalities has eclipsed the fact that you are two of the hardest motherfuckers ever to walk this earth smh

[sunnibits]

the house of hope quest is honestly so fucking funny when you think about it. you break into this guys house, steal his shit, fuck his bitch, make fun of him for being bad at sex, and then you just fucking kill him. raphael’s no good very bad day.

[ghostiiest]

my favorite brothers ever

[dancinghannigram]

alligators bellow in water to attract mates

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[puppetmaster13u]

Hear me out: Demon Batfam but Bruce gets them as babies because people won't stop trying to sacrifice their children and he is So Tired

And it is semi-early Batman Bruce too.

[mysterycitrus]

i don’t think u understand it is so important to me that dickie grayson is the shortest and physically weakest of any team that he’s on while simultaneously being the most unsettling person in the room

[fanaticalthings]

just another night in gotham

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[kheta]

Set in a time period where the Justice League are just kinda starting and all the human members are a bit on the younger side (mid to late twenties) The Watchtower is usually abuzz with trashy celebrity talks or talks about politics in the world and of course Brucie Wayne comes up. And Green Arrow (naively assuming that Secret Identities were in fact secret to Batman) decides to add his two cents to the convo. "You know, Brucie's obviously hot... But his butler, mans can get it." It's the most Oliver Queen he's ever sounded on the Watchtower. But also, it's the first time he's ever felt confident enough to say it without worrying about his image. After all, it's not like anyone on the Watchtower knows him or Alfred Pennyworth. Now the League, in virtue of not being Billionaire playboys, have no clue what this butler looks like. Some (Green Lantern and Superman) are curious about what this man looks like. Green Arrow goes on an hour long deep dive of videos, newspaper articles and full on research journal mentions of the virtues of Alfred Pennyworth. Wonder Woman is very intrigued, Superman makes a mental note to try and talk to the butler next time he's at a Gotham event, after all the whole SAS, Business Owner turn caretaker, surely there's a story there... and Batman? Batman gleefully adds several more graphic, if not a little convoluted take down measures to his Green Arrow contingencies. (Brucie Wayne manages to step on Oliver Queens foot, spill wine all over his suit and fails to wrangle his cartwheeling and oddly hostile ward off of him after a failed flip somehow ends with Oliver face-down in the middle of the dance floor during the next Wayne Enterprise gala. Whoops. Oliver glares at Brucie as he surreptituously slips $50 to Dick with a vapid smile.)