#unwanted feelings
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#love#i'm sorry#love quotes#spilled words#dark#depressing quotes#undesirable#feeling unwanted#darknees#love me#right person wrong time#love lost#missed opportunity#unwanted feelings#undesired#make me feel repulsive#ill never be enough#ill never be what you want#why do you keep me around?#sorry you met me#worthless#ugly#unhappy#unworthy#unwanted#unalive me
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Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara
They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them
But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd
The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>
#zutara#zuko#katara#atla#book 2 au#my art#i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭#so this is how i think it would go#it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls#she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire#she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko#and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj#even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!'#it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers#zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her#little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd#n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her#i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really?#zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful#and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald#in conclusion they are idiots your honor
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ianthe's poker fantasy
#did not feel like coloring this so now it looks like a random manga panel 😭#also we as ianthe mega fans are not as insane about tug as we should be#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#tlt#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#htn#gtn#harrowhark nonagesimus#ianthe tridentarius#harryanthe#kinda#the unwanted guest#the locked tomb
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#same person#different person#love#i miss you#life#love quote#life quote#unwanted feelings#feeling unloved#feeling unwanted#unrequited feelings#one sided love#hurtquotes#spilled emotions#shitty feelings
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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why did I think doing long arcs in colour was a good idea (9/11)
#noco family au#total drama#An Unwanted Replacement (OMG! Two Codies!!!)#total drama noah#total drama cody#total drama noco#total drama raj#I mean I feel like I’m learning something doing this#I guess as they say the grind is real
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okay but like.. im happy stolas got to dance with someone who openly wanted to
I'm glad he got kissed by someone who initiated because they want to kiss him
stolas really deserved that imo and if anyone gets mad at him for that they're bitter and wrong sorry
#stolas#helluva boss#hb spoilers#tp#kas speaks#let this man be wanted after feeling unwanted for so long !!!!#**this is NOT blitz slander#im still rooting for stolitz ofc
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Grian : dude I thought I HANDLED THIS
#mcyt#procreate#hermitcraft#my art#fanart#grian#grian fanart#trafficblr#traffic smp#secret life#life series#art#i feel like hed treat them like unwanted guests
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...the 'almond room' thing in the unwanted guest IS a reference to/play on words on amygdala, right? (amygdala comes from the greek word for almond!) I didn't read that wrong? it is stupid sexy Ianthe coyly inviting Palamedes into a different chamber of her brain, as it were?
(also the pieces of meat -- the feeding or kissing, it's hard to say which of it all -- being present right from the beginning... ianthe DOES know exactly what has happened to her, doesn't she. palamedes is just cutting his way through her layers of denial and repression all merciless and scalpel-like to get her to admit it. or, she knows subconsciously at least -- each person comes in and feeds her something that she's helpless to stop from becoming a part of her even in her coffin, with bloody kisses. oh baby love is feeding me bad meat and I have no choice but to swallow it down. like yeah I suspect that is how human contact can feel when your sense of self and boundaries developed to be a specific kind of Fucked Up lol. that shit could make a person dream of being a diamond in a glass of wine; perfect, inviolable, untouchable, eternally separate and safe. In the words of Andrea Gibson in Prism:
They say the womb is where we learn love is knowing the cord that feeds you could at any moment wrap around your neck
that is quite literally ianthe's first introduction to love -- her sister, a cord around her neck. Corona is Ianthe's other self, a second soul running around outside of her body, and she seems to consider herself as responsible for (and entitled to) the preservation of Corona's soul as her own. the way this mirrors that growing up, Ianthe had to be two necromancers in one body to let them stay together. (twins and ghosts all the way down I guess.) she's still just trying to do the same thing, I think, she's simply put on some bigger boots about it. the central problem of lyctorhood, self vs. connection/love, rears its head once again -- Ianthe existentially wants total self-contained self-sufficiency, perfect control, sovereign sway and masterdom over her soul... but she wants that at the same time as being in uninterrupted (uninterruptible!), eternal and indelible intimacy with her sister, whose soul also cannot be allowed to change. which, you know. freedom and love don't coexist the way you want them to, Ianthe, no matter how clever you are there won't be a way to get what you want. (especially not with a sister whose idea of what love is seems to go more towards being consumed, made one, by whatever violence necessary -- 'she could have taken me'.) man. Ianthe is a spectacular and ongoing piece of work, but sometimes it's hard to see how she could ever have turned out otherwise considering the conditions she was born and raised under haha.
the two-way street of the horror of digestion, whether you're the devourer or the devouree. part of you in me, part of me in you, whether either of us likes it or not we're both changed by this. bad news: you can't get out of interconnectedness by finding the cleverest loophole around it, ianthe. nice try, though)
#the unwanted guest#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#re: the amygdala thing -- that's what I thought when I first read it but I was listening to a podcast that didn't mention anything about it#and now I'm gently double-guessing myself harrow style haha#I think the greek word also means tonsil (thus the tonsil stones in bloodborne)?#the amygdala does a lot of shit around emotions and emotional processing which like. ok interesting ianthe wtf!#god. what a weird day it's been. you think you're at rock bottom and then you're having wild unhinged thoughts about ianthe tridentarius#my brain feels like it's filled with stinging nettles idk if this is even coherent. but I need it out of my neurons lol#the locked tomb meta#I could not recommend 'prism' enough btw it's a beautiful poem and has a lot of the same themes as tlt!
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#you dont love me like i love you#love#spilled words#i'm sorry#undesirable#dark#feeling unwanted#depressing quotes#love me#love quotes#darknees#unrequited feelings#basically platonic#cold kisses#hollow passion#feeling unloved#unwanted feelings#feeling less than#not what you want#will i ever be enough?#just want to be loved#want to be wanted#wish i was dead
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I feel like nothing good in my life ever lasts
so whats the point of trying if everything is always temporary
#bpd#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#1 am thoughts#2am thoughts#3am thoughts#4am thoughts#sadgirl#love#sad thoughts#self isolation#unloved#im unloveable#unlovable#i feel empty#i feel unworthy#i feel so unloveable#feeling unloved#feeling unwanted#feeling bad#girlblogging#why am i like this#why#why do i do this to myself#why does this keep happening#why do i do these things#why do i even bother#5am thoughts#mitski#poem
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Crack AU where Victim discovers Alan's YouTube channel, and out of pure petty spite, makes one of his own.
He makes videos reacting to Alan's animations, and half the time he's just throwing shade at Alan.
The other half he's genuinely reacting to the insanity that is Orange and the gang's life.
#He starts out loathing everything about the others (Chosen/Orange/RGBY)#but slowly and unintentionally becomes fond of the Color Gang from their antics#A fondness that can't quite temper out the sting of jealous resentment Victim feels towards Orange#And gaining an unwanted understanding of Chosen that makes him uncomfortable because of how similar Chosen's life was to his own suffering#Things are always rather uncomfortable when they're put into perspective aren't they Victim?#He doesn't say anything after seeing the reviving scene in Showdown; he just sits in silence not even looking at the 'camera'#and the video just ends#And then after the picture 'memories' of AvA 11 he just stops; leans his head on the desk; and sobs.#He doesn't even finish the animation; he can't. He knows what happens next.#He doesn't want to see it again.#animator vs animation#ava#alan becker#ava victim
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i feel like this is a hot take, but it's clear to me that so much of ianthe's outward projection of superiority is a deeply ingrained — really, formative — sense of inadequacy. it's to prove to everyone, even the people who were supposed to love her, who were supposed to inherently value her, that she does actually have value — in fact, she has the most value because look at what she can DO!
and i don't even think she's entirely internalized that, but that kind of projection kind of falls apart if you show even a moment of self-doubt
and i know ianthe isn’t supposed to be sympathetic here, or at least i’m assuming she’s not to most people, but can you imagine the body horror of being inextricably tied to and irrevocably altered by the guy you grew up with and didn’t even really like and who didn’t like you either (but who served you because that was his Role, and, who, even though you’ll never admit it, you maybe even cared about a bit because at a certain point that’s kind of unavoidable - i know she tried to convince palamedes she didn’t, but she is a known liar prone to sentimentality), but it was fine because you knew you were better than him, too?
except now you're not exactly, not entirely better than him, because he's not just fueling you, you didn't get to just use him to become someone who matters. instead, he's part of you, and you still don't matter?
like from what she says about her parents' reaction to the canaan house aftermath, even that part didn't work. she didn't earn mommy and daddy's validation, admiration, anything
and she's running his empire, but she's still third place to surrogate daddy, too. if she even places!
ianthe naberius is very much the consequences of her own actions, i’m not going full apologia here, just imagining being in that position and. goddamn
#ianthe tridentarius#the unwanted guest#naberius tern#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#ianthe naberius#tridentarii#cw ianthe#m.tlt#tlt#anyway#†#i say all of this when actually i may be entering my ianthe apologist era i have a whole in defense of essay in my head that#i haven’t been up to articulating so far 🤡#like boo hoo poor her but like also KIND OF MAYBE IDK IDK LISTEN IM JUST SAYING#people have so much sympathy for harrow because of her childhood trauma but i feel likeeee. ianthe’s childhood sounds profoundly fucked and#neglectful even from the small glimpses we’ve gotten into it so far#doesn’t excuse her at all and also yes obviously harrow has taken concrete steps towards becoming a better person even having spent less#time being an adult i'm not discounting that at all i'm not saying they're exactly the same#just ALSO!#you know etc etc i’ll get to it eventually maybe
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SOUND ON!!!
Idk if I'm late on this but I only just noticed it. Pls listen to Carmy at the end, after he introduces Syd to Luca. I removed the bg noise and enhanced the audio
He introduces them saying "Luca, Syd"
Then he's quickly trying to get Syd to move onto saying hello to someone else. He points to this other person immediately and says "Will." But Syd's still saying a very warm hello to Luca so Carmy calls her name to get her attention!!! It hasn't even been 3 seconds 😂 This is the guy who trained Syd's good friend and colleague and worked with Carmy!! Why can't they say hello properly, Carmy?!!
He was trying to break that up real quick!! That greeting was too warm and went on too long for his liking! 3 seconds being too long for Carmy!!
I think @pudgetprincess was right in the replies of this post, Carmy was already aware that Luca could be a threat before Syd even got there. Carmy looked Luca's way just as he put his hand on Syd's back. He kept it there the whole time he introduced Syd to the table, telling her to "say hi", then looked Luca's way again before he removed his hand, making sure Luca had seen it. Then he introduces Syd to Luca and suddenly it's not "say hi" anymore it's ok Syd let's move it along there's other ppl here you know lmao. Carmy is actually hilarious! If we get jealous Carmy next season it's gonna be SO good.
#sydcarmy#carmy x sydney#i dont want carmy to be more stressed but he needs some karma for making my girl feel so rejected & unwanted the last 2 seasons idc#the bear season 3#the bear fx#sydcarmy meta#chef's kiss#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto#luca the bear#chef luca
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#on love#on grief#on grieving the childhood you never had#childhood grief#web weave#web weaving#on feeling unwanted#webweaving#webweave#canine poetry#canine kin
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why is he getting kicked out of his own house? is he stupid? (7/11)
#noco family au#total drama#An Unwanted Replacement (OMG! Two Codies!!!)#yea that name can do#feeling like sisyphus rn#total drama cody#total drama noah#total drama noco#total drama raj#total drama mike#total drama dave
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