#uncle paul au

[lilacthebooklover]

planning out the "world's okayest uncle" fic is so fun bc i can like,,, make the simplest notes to expand on later. so then i end up with things like "paul tries to rizz up emma but then ruth happens" or "best uncle is gonna singlehandedly stop bullying fr fr". and then i just have to try to,,, decipher what i meant by that. it's an experience

[lilacthebooklover]

UNCLE PAUL REAL

I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

To add to the headcanon of Paul being Richie’s uncle: during the Halloween stream Jon was asked if Richie would like the Death Note musical. He said he (Jon) would like it probably, but didn’t think Richie was a big fan of musicals.

I wonder who Richie could’ve learned that distaste from

[windybluebelles]

I don’t think, as a fandom, we have utilitiesed the concept of immortal Alfred along side the Fawcett time bubble.

Now, I know for a fact that it canon Alfred is not immortal and has intact died, I also just don’t give a shit

I’m also fairly sure that time bubble fawcett has never been canon, and at the very least isn’t anymore, I still don’t care.

Just picture, Itty Bitty Billy Batson (orphan whos entire support system from when he was younger is just entirely gone) hears a familiar voice coming through Batman’s personal comms, and just kinda thinks,

Holy Shit that’s Uncle Al

Now he’s obviously very confused, last time he heard anything about his Uncle Al was approximately in like 1954, and he was around the same age as his parents who I imagine couldn’t be any younger than like 30. So how tf is he not brain dead and being fed through a tube by now? (I’m sure there are some very functional 90 year olds but like… what are the chances?)

I imagine that Billy would eventually figure out that Alfred works for the Wayne family in Gotham (I also imagine that he now vaguely know Batman’s identity but he’s also like 12 so why would he care?) and finds a way to get there as soon as possible.

I’m picturing just like, Tim or someone opening the door to this tiny little boy whos holding a box full of pictures and letters and is politely asking if he can ‘Speak with uncle-err, Mr Pennyworth?’

[richielipschitzaot]

OOC:

Headcanon/AU for Richie that whilst he’s a nerd, he’s not a nerd like Peter. In the sense that, he really isn’t all that good when it comes to school work. Imagine:

• A Richie that can make time for his interests all day, but who struggles to even get an hour of studying in.

• A Richie that knows he‘s okay with work when he does it, but can never actually motivate himself to do it, unless he’s stressed.

• A Richie that feels like shit around Pete, who has one of the best GPA’s in school, whilst his is getting brought down every week.

• A Richie that wonders how he’s even related to Paul, since he seems to easily hardworking and good at what he does, when he can’t motivate himself to even get up in the morning.

• A Richie that feels stupid when he actually tries to work, he’s missed so much by not paying attention in class that he has to start from scratch in some areas.

• A Richie that’s seen as this smart nerd, everyone assumes he has a high GPA and does all his work perfectly, because he used to be good with work. His parents also think so, because he stopped bringing home report cards after the first bad one he got.

• A Richie everyone praises for doing so much at school, but who knows he doesn’t deserve their praise because he really isn’t doing as much as he should.

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Paul: I’ve done the best I could to raise you! Have I been perfect? No. Paul: Do I know anything about children? No! Paul: Should I have picked up a book on parenting? Probably! Richie: Paul: Where was I going with this? I had a point.

[toomanyfandoms11]

Background on the Tim hiring Deathstroke thing in this https://www.tumblr.com/toomanyfandoms11/749474013724721152/toomanyfandoms

In my little universe that I like to maladaptive daydream in basically, Janet Drake, Slade Wilson, and Wade Wilson are all siblings.

Janet is the oldest child, and thefore according to family tradition the only child that cannot legally be linked to any crime (plz ask me about the Drake family lore. Also, Jack was the one killed by Captain Boomerang ).

Slade and Wade are twins, (their father had a sense of humor and their mother was too out of it to complain.) and bear the title of murder uncles.

Getting to the Joker bit: when Jason was being killed by the Joker, Tim was on a “family holiday”(training trip) to upstate New York (X-Mansion, most of the X-Men were too afraid to ask about the 10 year old that followed Deadpool around except for Wolverine, who taught him how to skin a moose, and Madelyne Pryor for some reason) and as a result did not learn about his death until about a month or so after it happened.

When Tim learned about his death he decided to wait a bit for Batman to settle down, thinking that he just needed to get the anger stage of grief out of the way and then he would go to therapy like a normal person. Tim was the sort of kid that would read the picture books about getting over grief when he was waiting in the doctors office.

Unfortunately, there were no picture books about superhero phycology. After about few months, Batman showing no signs of stopping and expressing his grief like a normal person, Nightwing finding out about Jason’s death through a newspaper tabloid and the two of them having an argument on top of the Gcpd station that was live-streamed by anyone with a phone and became headline news for a week, Tim decided to take matters into his own hands and hire his current favorite uncle (Wade had recently given him a pair of socks as a gift instead of the forensics book he wanted) and ask him politely (blackmail him with the time Slade had given him coffee while babysitting) to kill the Joker, “Pretty please Uncle Slade? I’ll make you cookies!”

Slade accepted this offer and went (with no small amount of glee/relief) to finally put a bullet through that waste of carbon’s skull. But, alas, Paul Verlaine (King of Assassins, Executive in the Port Mafia, Ex-Titans member and former boyfriend of Nightwing) got there first. After this, Tim’s story goes the route you would expect (with a twist~). After one too many times of Batman putting criminals in the ICU instead of talking to a therapist, Tim decides enough is enough and goes to Nightwings apartment in Bludhaven to ask him to arrange an intervention for Batman with the Justice League, or he will release Batman and Nightwings identity’s to the public.

Dick Grayson, after hearing this, dose not go “This seems like Bruce’s problem” and drop him off at the Batcave. He instead goes “who’s sassy lost child is this”, has the Bat-adoption gene arise for the first time, and decides that he will adopt this child who ran around Gotham alone stalking Batman and Robin, or die trying.

Janet, after talking with the man who drove her child back from Bludhaven at 4:30 am, is slightly leaning towards the second option, but she knows that A. Jack is a terrible father, and while she tries her best, she is also not winning mom of the year anytime soon and B. Shared custody is a thing.

And so, after 3 sword fights (one for each Drake-Wilson sibling), 5 panicked calls to Alfred about “Holy frick I’m turning into Bruce”, many late nights studying “how do I parent a 10 year old”, 1 realization of “holy **** I really do want to be a parent”, and a very well paid lawyer ( Matt Murdock), Dick Grayson becomes the legal parent of a one Timothy Drake, with the media explanation (that is true, but deleteing the superhero parts) being that Janet and Jack realized that they could not be the parents the Tim deserved to have, and that Dick Grayson could. (They got alternating weekends and cultural holidays (Jack is Chinese).

After a month or so, Dick takes Tim to meet Bruce (Dick did the intervention thing, it took the combined forces of Superman, Wonder Woman, Black Canary, Alfred, and Catwoman to get him to go to therapy.) and in the meeting Tim cheerfully reveals that A. He had figured out Batman and Robins secret identities when he was 9 (He went to a gala that the Wayne’s were at, and Dick did a quadruple somersault off of a chandelier that Tim remembered Nightwing doing) and B. He once hacked into Shield on accident when he was looking for a website that had a show he liked on it

[hatchetfield-omegaverse]

hi this is such a good au concept, could I request Paul or Wiley headcanons

Hatchetfield Omegaverse Headcanons: Paul Mattews & Wiley

Paul Matthews:

Paul Matthews is a Type 3 Alpha. He presented when he was 15.

Gets mistaken for a Beta all the time. He knows there's nothing wrong with being one, but it annoys him all the same.

He used to feel insecure about being a ‘Low Tier’ Alpha when he was younger. He's gained more confidence in himself since high-school.

That all goes out the window when he's around Emma.

Secretly reads trashy romance novels about Alphas saving Omegas. Or occasionally Omegas saving Alphas.

Fantasizes about Emma but will never admit it.

Is Richies maternal Uncle.

He was the first person Richie came out to. Most supportive uncle.

Pays for his HRT since he knows his sister can't afford it.

Smells like a clean beach.

Wiley:

Before he went through the portal, Wilbur Cross was your average Type 1 Alpha. Strong, intelligent, confident in his abilities.

He presented at 15 while at a high school dance.

Would often try to work through his ruts. More often than not this ended in sex with John MacNamara

He smelt like a bonfire. Oak wood and smoke.

And then he went through the portal and Wilbur Cross was no more.

Only Wiley remained.

Wiggly's influence on Cross completely stripped him of his second gender. He wasn't an Alpha, beta, or even an omega.

He was nothing.

Wiggly says no horniness while working for him. He will bonk you with the horny tube.

The few people who saw him afterwards commented that his scent had changed completely.

He now smelt hospital disinfectant and green apples and something distinctly wrong.

It was just another sign that being who came back was not Wilbur Cross. Not anymore.

Thank you so much for your request! This was so much fun to think about and write. And if you'd like to request something, please feel free to shoot me an ask!

[owchie-wowchie]

How would Witch in the Web go in the Uncle Otho AU?

sorry this got me inspired

Hannah's mouth felt numb as her heart roared, eyes wide and searching around this terrifyingly empty theater she found herself in. Her hand squeezed Miss Holloway's tight, nearly crushing her fingers.

"It's ok," Miss Holloway repeated over and over again. Hannah couldn't help but read too deep into her tone, wondering if she was aggravated at having to make sure Hannah didn't mess things up again.

The two crept onto the stage and the air went suddenly quiet, warmth vanished from Hannah's palm. She whirled to the side to see Holloway gone. Her heart sank, veins turning into lead. Hannah froze to her spot, both breaths and body trembling.

Not far away, a skeleton miraculously appeared in the middle of the floor, rotted and prone, the complexly detailed hilt poking out between a few ribs. From her, she was attacked by how horrid it smelt.

Flight won out in the end and she began to simply book it for the exit but a sudden invisible force prevented her movement, stopping her like a wall. She slammed her hands against the solid air as she spotted glittering blue sludge moving across the stage floor.

Spinning around, she rested her back on the unseen wall, eyes glued to the goo. It slowly dragged onto the skeleton, wrapping around it tight. The goo grew thicker, dense and brighter by the second. It pushed the knife out of the chest, making it fall into their hand. Lines of muscles and veins and nerves materialized inside the ooze, dangling off the frame before sliding into the proper spots. Pale leather spread on the fingers, moving out towards the arms and torso.

The face was the last part to grow back, messy brown hair sprouting on the top and eyes that were voids of pure black. A gasp shot out the recently created person as a flash of light made clothes appear on them, a brightly colored, slightly 80s-esque button up and jeans. The sight dimly reminder her of Holloway, it almost felt like this thing was stealing her style.

Whoever this person was, Hannah had no clue. They looked around Lex's age, a bit younger even. A wicked smile creased the stranger's cheeks, sending a shiver down Hannah's spine.

"Well, if it isn't little Banana Foster," they said. Hannah wasn't a fan of how they knew her nickname, she tried stepping back but was still prevented from leaving.

"Hannah!" A familiar voice yelled behind her. Before Hannah could turn to confirm her thoughts, a hand wrapped around her arm, tugging her from her trap.

Miss Holloway threw Hannah behind her, glaring at the stranger. Hannah was glad Holloway wasn't staring at her like that.

"Hannah, don't worry about him. He's dead," she stated, barely hidden vitriol clear in her tone.

The stranger responded with a barking laugh, rising to their feet. "Oh, if only! I'm afraid death wasn't really a respite from where I was trapped." They pointed at her with the knife. "Y'know if I was just a bit faster, I would've gotten you."

Holloway looked at Hannah over her shoulder. "Get to the exit quick, I'll make sure they don't come after you."

"15 years!" The stranger shouted, making Hannah jump in her spot. "That's how long I was trapped in The Black with no body." They chuckled humorlessly. "Did you know that the soul can feel just as much pain as a body?"

Holloway took a deep breath and raised her fists, ready to jump on the kid at a moment's notice.

The stranger wagged the knife at her a few times. "Last time, I was just doing what I needed to survive but this time," Their face fell, a sneer appearing in the smile's place. "I just wanna see your fucking heart ripped out."

[rhondafromhr]

Finished the second chapter of my ‘nerds corruption au’ story!

I have way too much free time right now and I’m also having way too much fun writing this so here’s another chapter, this idea has me in an absolute chokehold.

Link to Chapter 1: https://www.tumblr.com/rhondafromhr/738099850581835776/i-ended-up-writing-it-after-all-ill-probably

“We’re Gonna Become the Bullies”

Chapter 2: They’re Walking a Very Fine Line

Paul’s been Richie’s guardian for going on four years now and in that time, Richie’s never given him much of a reason to worry. He’s never been sent to the principal’s office or the police station, he keeps his grades up, he chose the math club over the smoke club and the most rebellious thing he ever does is stay up late on a school night watching anime. More importantly, he tells Paul everything - when he gets bullied at school, when he’s struggling with a class, when he has a fight with Ruth (Oh God, Paul remembers, he promised they’ll go see The Barbecue Monologues to show her their support. Ugh. He does not like musicals). If he’s going to be out late, he always texts Paul to let him know where he is, what he’s doing and about when he thinks he‘ll be home.

At least he did until Friday night. He said he was going to Pete’s after school for a D&D session and he should be home around eleven. But then eleven o’clock rolled around and Richie didn’t appear, nor did a heads up that he was going to be late. Paul ignored the slight gnawing anxiety. There’s no reason to worry, he told himself, they probably just got really caught up in their game. From the few times Richie’s hosted D&D night at their place, he knows how intense they get with it.

But then it was a quarter past eleven and still no sign of him. He texted: hey, haven’t heard from you, everything okay? No answer. Ten more minutes passed and eventually he caved and called. Nothing. He tried two more times and still nothing. By eleven forty-five he was desperate enough to call Ted and ask if he’d heard anything from Peter. He hadn’t and he was none too pleased with Paul for interrupting his favorite pastime (“screwin’ around with another man’s wife”). Apparently, Ted had him on speaker, because Charlotte heard and she was much nicer about it. She told Paul they’d notify him if they heard anything and asked him to please let them know once Richie got home safe. Just when he was on the verge of a panic attack, he heard the lock clicking on the front door as Richie let himself in. By now it was almost two in the morning. Paul exhaled and the tension left his body. He’d never felt this relieved in his life. Obviously, Richie had some explaining to do, but at least he was here. At least Paul finally knew he was safe.

“Hi, Richie. Did something happen? Usually you at least shoot me a text if you’re going to be out late.” Something was definitely off. Richie’s clothes were disheveled and the way he rubbed his arm was subtly different from the way he usually does it - his hand rested on his shoulder rather than his forearm and he winced as if there was some physical pain he was trying to relieve. Did he get hurt? Why didn’t he call Paul for help if he got hurt?

“Oh, uh, sorry, Paul. We just got super into the campaign and I guess the time got away from us. Won’t happen again. I’m pretty tired now, I think I’m going to head to bed. Goodnight!” He rushed to his room before Paul could ask any follow-up questions.

“Goodnight, Richie,” Paul said with a sigh. He wasn’t convinced, but maybe Richie just needed time to open up about whatever actually happened. He always did eventually.

That night still weighs on Paul’s mind as he drives Richie to school Monday morning. Richie seems distracted, too. Without his usual enthusiastic rambling about the merits of subs versus dubs or why there should be a copy of the full Attack on Titan box set in the library of congress, the car feels eerily quiet. Paul turns on the radio to try and fill the silence, but the cheery, up-tempo song that comes on somehow creates an even weirder atmosphere. They finally pull up in front of the school and say their goodbyes.

Just as he’s about to take off, Paul notices a tall boy in a letterman jacket waving to Richie. Richie waves back and approaches him. Wait, isn’t that Max Jägerman? The kid that’s been bullying Richie and his friends for years? He watches as they walk towards the school entrance together. Why is Max being so friendly to him out of the blue? Is this the setup for some horrible, mean-spirited prank? Paul’s heart sinks, but there’s nothing he can do. He’ll just have to trust Richie’s judgment and be there for him if anything happens. He’s definitely going to Beanie’s on his lunch break today. He desperately needs a coffee and Emma will probably be happy to let him vent and maybe even provide some surprisingly thoughtful advice. Knowing her, she’ll welcome any distraction from her usual degrading job duties of making coffee, serving “cold, shitty pastries” and singing for tips.

“Hey, Richie! How was your weekend?” Max greets him enthusiastically. Huh, he’s been upgraded from Shitlips. Not only that, they’re on a first-name basis now. So they’re actually doing this. That night at the Waylon place wasn’t some weird fever dream.

“Uh, it was okay, I guess? My Uncle Paul didn’t seem too happy with me for staying out so late on Friday, but he didn’t, like, ground me or anything. Other than that I didn’t do much, just rewatched Attack on Titan again.” Friday was the weirdest, most stressful night of his life and he had no idea what to expect on Monday, so the comfort and familiarity was much needed.

“Oh, cool. My dad was pretty upset when I told him what happened, too.”

“That makes sense, you did almost die.”

“Yeah, he’s really pissed I didn’t. Wanted to collect the life insurance payout or whatever. You know how dads are,” Max says with a shrug. Richie actually doesn’t know how dads are, but he’s pretty sure that’s not normal.

“Oh, uh, sorry. That sucks.” What else can he say to something like that?

“Anyway, I gave Kyle and Jason the rundown over the weekend and told them to spread the word. Everyone should know by now that you and the rest of the group are not to be messed with and from now on they’ll be answering to all of us. And if anybody tries it you just let me know, it’s a swirly and a flick-it ticket for them. We’ll do it together. I have to teach you the proper form, anyway.”

Oh, right. That part of the deal. It’s not just being cool with Max Jägerman, it’s being “on his level” as he phrased it. Which means joining in on the bullying unless they can use whatever influence they now have to talk Max out of it. Grace did say she thought it was possible back at the Waylon place. Richie agreed at the time. Does he still believe that? Did he ever, or was he just trying to justify their decision? If they can even pull it off, it’s going to be a lot more complicated than just going “Hey, let’s not bully anyone!” and Max being like “Okay, sounds good!”

“Will do, Max, but uh, what if it’s somebody who doesn’t have nuts?” Richie asks. He may or may not be speaking from experience. Truthfully, flick-it tickets have never worked on him, but convincingly faking like they’re the most painful thing in the world has probably saved him from Max inflicting actual pain countless times. Ruth’s acting tips have been really helpful for that.

“Oh, good point! Two swirlies, then. Love your inclusive way of thinking!”

The bell rings, providing Richie with a convenient exit from this conversation.

“Oh, gotta get to honors English, see ya later!”

“Bye, Max.” He hurries to Physics, wondering how the hell Max is in honors English.

When he joins their usual group (plus Grace and Steph) at the lunch table, it seems like everyone else is reeling from the changed dynamic, too. At least Ruth is having a good time with it.

“She actually said hi to me!” Ruth says, her eyes lighting up “Then she told me my headgear is fire today! It was so hot, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife!” There’s only one person at school who still says things are fire unironically. Brenda must have gotten the memo.

“Isn’t she dating Kyle?” Pete points out “I know Max won’t let them, but clearly they’d just go behind his back, right?”

“Yeah,” Richie chimes in “If anything, sneaking around would make it hotter. ‘Forbidden fruit’ and all that.”

“Duh! Everyone knows that, watch some porn! But also, watch some romcoms - I’m the nerdy underdog, obviously she chooses me in the end.”

Before Grace can admonish Ruth for being so lewd or Stephanie can rant about the problematic tropes and implications of the romcom comment (the collective word count of her Twitter threads on the subject rivals War and Peace), Pete raises the question that’s been on all of their minds:

“Can we really be considered underdogs anymore?”

“I don’t know. The vibe is definitely different from before,” replies Richie “God, this morning was so weird. Max just walked up to me and started the most normal ass ‘how was your weekend?’ conversation ever. I mentioned anime and he didn’t even make fun of me, it was fucking surreal!”

“It’s definitely weird, but I have to admit it’s been kind of nice to be able to walk down the hallway without constantly watching my back,” Pete says “Brad Callahan called me Micro-Pete earlier. I told him to back off and he actually did!”

“He called you what?” Startled, they all look up to find Max looming over them at the end of their table. When did he get here? “I fuckin’ told him not to bother you guys, but it looks like my instructions were unclear. C’mon, Pete, let’s go find him. We’ll make sure there are no further misunderstandings.”

“What, like, beat him up? I don’t know, Max, he’s twice my size. And he did back off, maybe we let him off with a warning this time?” Pete protests weakly.

“It’s okay, dude, I’ll be right there with you! Nobody who knows what’s good for them is going to jump in to defend him, either, so it’ll be two against one. And I know pummeling people seems intimidating if you’ve never done it before, but I’ll show you the ropes. I bet you're stronger than you think you are!” Ignoring the subject matter, Pete has to admit Max gives a pretty solid pep talk. Now that they’re sort of friends, maybe Max will send some of that energy his way before the AP Physics exam.

“Okay,” Pete says, still uncertain, but also acutely aware that he’s not getting out of this one.

“Can I come with?” Stephanie asks “I’ve actually always wanted to slap Brad across his stupid, smug face, but this is the final straw. Nobody’s going to disrespect you like that on my watch.” Pete turns beet-red.

“Oh, awesome, three against one!” Max says “Let’s roll out!” Stephanie grabs Pete’s hand and the three take their leave. Max and Steph walk with a menacing, determined stride like predators stalking their prey. Pete trails behind them, a little more hesitant, but still follows.

“Slapping Brad in the face has always been one of my fantasies, too! Probably not in the same way, though,” Ruth says “I should’ve joined them! Life is but a series of missed opportunities.”

“Ruth,” Grace says “have you ever considered taking a vow of chastity? Resisting the temptation you’re feeling until you’re safely married could save your immortal soul.”

“No, of course not! Why would I do that now of all times? I’m not a repulsive loser anymore, somebody might finally touch me!” Ruth sighs dreamily. “I’m telling you guys, me and Brenda, there’s something there.”

“If you’re so worried about our immortal souls, why didn’t you try to stop them just now? I don’t spend my weekends at bible study, but I’m pretty sure wrath is a sin,” says Richie.

“Well, Brad has it coming. He’s always been a no good sinner. It’s not our wrath, it’s God’s wrath. They’re just carrying out His will.”

Richie’s surprised to find himself entertaining Grace’s point. She’s right about Brad, at least. He has always been kind of an asshole. He was picking on Pete earlier, too, and it certainly wasn’t the first time. Then there’s the whole “long-con” aspect of it all - once again, things aren’t going to change overnight. They all need to play along if they don’t want to lose their new status ruling Hatchetfield High by Max’s side. Maybe if the next target is less deserving than Brad, he can test the waters and try to get Max to lay off. For now, Richie will just head to his next class and try to make it through the rest of the school day without being roped into roughing somebody up.

[wigglys-dikrats]

i know the history of hatchetfield better than i know my family’s history

[weepylucifer]

when she's like 17, flora should have a rebellious phase where when layton and luke go off to do stuff without her, she sneaks out to hang out with paul. just visiting her delinquent uncle

[lilacthebooklover]

hey, writer of the "world's okayest uncle" fic on ao3 and creator of this tumblr post (the uncle paul au) here! anyone got a suggestion for the paul & richie chapter? :)

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

au where everything is the same except percy gets new relatives on paul's side

a little old grandma who feeds him and gives him money to buy everything he never could when he was poor growing up

everytime she sees him, she babies him and tells him how tall he's gotten and complains about how skinny he is (she is also #1 percabeth shipper)

a grandpa who fought in the army and trades war stories with percy

who also ADORES annabeth and loves having intellectually challenging conversations with her about architecture, philosophy, mathematics, literally everything

an aunt who helped sally throughout her pregnancy with estelle which makes sally cry because she didn't have anyone when she was carrying percy

sally crying again because she's never had a parent figure since her uncle died and now paul's parents are all over her with their affection and acceptance (especially once they find out about the greek world)

a cool older cousin who ruffles percy's hair, teams up with annabeth to make fun of him, plays video games with him (annabeth teases percy that despite saving the world multiple times, he still wants to impress said cousin but still finds it cute how percy is adjusting to being the little brother for once)

when percy goes missing, all of them team up and consider marching up to olympus to kill the gods for kidnapping their new little baby boy

then after the events of hoo they adopt all of the seven

and they literally have to buy a bigger table because of the big family dinners they all have

and percy's just like 🥲 maybe relatives don't need to be out to ruin your life and traumatise you 24/7?

[stylespresleyhearted]

the clegan/caustin dune au no one asked for

warnings: m! pregnancy, john egan as an atreides, mxm pairing, feyd x m! reader

In an attempt to please both her Sisterhood and Leto, Lady Jessica attempts to birth twins: one boy and a girl and she assumes she has completed her task but once the babies are born she is told she birthed two boys: Paul and John Atreides.

Since his first breath John has lived in his brother’s shadow. He shows none of the same fight skill and carries none of the preemptive characteristics that Paul does so he’s pushed to the side as Jessica and Leto and the entire Sisterhood focus on Paul and training him in an attempt to wipe out their house. When the Harkonnens invade, Feyd Rautha is on the front line, eager to spill Atreides blood. Lady Jessica flees with Paul and they leave behind John who was injured, finding him to be a liability when their top priority is keeping Paul alive so he can fulfill his destiny. John is found by Harkonnen soldiers but he’s in a comatose state — utilizing fear to enact the power of Prana Bindu in which he slows his heart rate and flow of his blood so he can appear dead to the enemies. The soldiers take him to Feyd and lie him on a medical bed and say it is a displeasure he is dead but Feyd can still have fun tearing him limb from limb. Figuring this is his last chance John leaps from the bed and begins attacking anyone, stabbing with what he grabbed in his hands but he was never trained properly, always pushed to the side because they had no need to keep him alive like they did his twin brother so it isn’t long before he’s brought down and the soldiers he didn’t injure are beating him.

Feyd watches on amused and aroused as the skinny boy fights for his life, standing even as he’s kicked down again and impressed by the display of power of controlling his vitals to appear dead. Even Feyd had thought him dead. Feyd kills the soldiers who are attacking him despite them being his soldiers and when John peeks from where he’s hiding behind his elbows it’s to Feyd already watching him as he licks the blood off his knife.

Without telling his uncle, Feyd returns to Geidi Prime with John. Not only does he feel an attraction to the young boy but instead of finding him pathetic like he does everyone else he’s impressed with his courage. He doesn’t beg and cower - he fights every step of the way. On his planet Feyd teaches John how to defend himself, how to fight, and for once John doesn’t feel tossed to the side or alone to fend for himself. Feyd is a psychopath but at least he’s giving John a chance. Now Feyd has his own selfish reasons, he sees the power John wields. The way in which he cuts with a sword as if he’s done so before despite swearing he never had training. The way in which servants flee sometimes when John strongly demands something. The way in which John can predict what Feyd is going to do sometimes before Feyd even decides to do it himself. It leaves him in awe of such a power and his attraction doesn’t work in terms of gender but it is the first time he can admit to being roused by such a weak, young boy.

During this time John’s falling in love with Feyd. He’s in love with the way Feyd never treats him as less or takes it easy on him (too easy that is) when they train together. Feyd leaves him bruises and cuts and lets him stand back up on his own before he saunters over and pushes John’s curls back off his sweaty forehead. Feyd’s honest and offers no sympathy when John recounts the way his own mother left him to die. He only tells John to get up and continue training so he never has to rely on anyone again. One night it comes to him in a nightmare: Feyd’s death. He sees his own twin brother, Paul (Paul’s alive and hasn’t come for him, he feels betrayed again) drive a knife through Feyd’s chest and John would rather die than live through that. In the nightmare comes a message too, from male descendants before him, that it is imminent for an Atreides to bear the child of a Harkonnen to alter Feyd’s fate and John somehow knows what he must do.

John slips into bed with Feyd that night, content to see that he does not lay with his concubines once he is done with them. He had heard the stories of the Bene Tleilax and their ability to genetically control their makeshift. He knows Feyd holds no qualms in bedding a man but he also knows it must go further and John must will his genetic components so he can carry Feyd’s child. It becomes a common occurrence for John to slip into Feyd’s bed every night, letting Feyd fill him with his seed and then willing his body to allow itself to be fertilized. It doesn’t take more than a week until John’s sure Feyd has filled him with his child, John can feel the power stemming inside himself, but still John goes to visit Feyd every night, yearning for his touch and his love even if it is rough and demanding. John goes every night until he begins vomiting every morning and Feyd grows concerned in his own way and John hides away when his abdomen begins to swell. By this time, the Baron is demanding Feyd’s presence on Arrakis so John is saved from having to face Feyd and inform him of what he has done.

John ignores any and all messages from Feyd while he is gone, using The Voice (a new skill he has mastered with the child growing inside him) to forbid any of the servants from telling Feyd that John has become impregnated.

John arrives on Arrakis right on time to stop Feyd from engaging in battle against Paul. Everyone’s shocked to see him, and shocked more still, by his appearance.

“An impossibility,” the Mother Reverent bellows in The Voice, “a trick somehow. A powerful figment of imagination.”

“You think my mother could somehow alter the plan of what is meant to be? Destiny will always find a way and the way came to me in a dream,” John bestows, angry at the denial of his unborn son. “The Emperor must die, in that my brother is right, but the only true ruler to sit on that throne will be our child. The child of Feyd Rautha and I.”

And Feyd Rautha watches on, amazed and in awe, both of the muscle John has put on thanks to their training, a complete contrast to the scrawny, skill-less boy Feyd had saved, and of how beautiful he looks standing in the middle of a room of enemies, demanding respect with his belly swollen from Feyd’s seed. Their child’s power already shining through him. From one second to the next Feyd has unsheathed his knife and slit the Emperor’s throat,

“My betrothed has spoken,” he says, nonchalant. “Any tongue rising in debate against him will meet my knife.” He comes to stand beside him, knife in one hand while his other comes to rest on his belly, feeling his child kick in happiness at the nearness of their father.

John holds his pale face in his hands, eyes shiny. “We’re having a boy, Feyd. The true Kwisatz Haderach. Of Atreides and Harkonnen descent, the two Great Houses, like Destiny always attended.”

[ragsforless]

Dune crack!au (4)

Irulan: Hey, Feyd.

Feyd: Yes, princess?

Irulan: I’m bored.

Feyd: Do you want to play smash or pass again?

Irulan: Fremen Edition?

Feyd: Atreides.

Irulan: Fine. You go first.

Feyd: Duncan Idaho.

Irulan: Obviously, smash.

Feyd: Same. Now your turn.

Irulan: Lady Jessica? She’s

part of House Atreides, right?

Feyd: To be totally honest with you, she’s a closeted Harkonnen at heart but I’ll pass.

Irulan: Why? She’s very pretty.

Feyd: I don’t like space witches. They’re weird and very mean.

Irulan: Like mother, like son.

Feyd: She’s also my evil creepy uncle’s super secret daughter.

Irulan: *sighs* And our monster mother-in-law.😔

Feyd: Don’t remind me.

Irulan: Fine. Thufir Hawat.

Feyd: Pass. Mentats freak me out.

Irulan: Feyd, babe, I thought you like math?

Feyd: Of course I like meth. I even started selling a ton of meth to some of Chani’s fanatical Fremen friends for a very good price.

Irulan: Let me guess, Stilgar?

Feyd: He’s my business partner.

Irulan: Nevermind. Your turn.

Feyd: Doctor Yueh.

Irulan: Does he still counts as part of House Atreides?

Feyd: He tried to kill my creepy uncle and brother. So I guess, yes?

Irulan: Pass. He was married.

Feyd: Your turn.

Irulan: Duke Leto.

Feyd: NGL, I’ll marry, kiss, and smash that one.

Irulan: But isn’t he like your distant uncle or something?

Feyd: You do know that we’re all related to one another, right?

Irulan: Right. We’re all married to Paul. So let’s play another game.

Feyd: How about we annoy and ruin our husband’s very important, very crucial business meetings again?

Irulan: I wish we could, Feyd, but the last time we did that, Emperor “I’m so special, I’m the Lisan Al Gaib” Paul punished us severely-

Feyd: Severely?! He just forced us to water all of his “sacred” arrakis palm trees for 2 weeks!

Irulan: Well, he’s currently talking to that angry looking Gurney Halleck guy. So-

Feyd: All the better!

Irulan: Better? For you?

Feyd: Gurney Halleck hates me. So I want to ruin his day as well.

Irulan: To be fair, Feyd, Gurney only hates you because you’re a living breathing Harkonnen.

Feyd: No, he hates me because I’m obviously perfect and pretty.😌💅

[so-many-sainz]

sis it's not that I want a part 2 of "we broke up btw" it's the fact that I NEED IT TO STAY ALIVE IT'S JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

I NEED IT TOO LOVE!! ♥♥♥

this is the part II of we broke up btw.

part II where she ends up with Lando HERE.

we back — pierre gasly

social media au

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

November, winter.

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yninstagram MONKEY, happy birthday. Love you, stinker. 🐒🤎

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savnorris1 there's no pic where lando is actually ready to pose

yninstagram pics where lando looks good? no, i don´t like those

↪️landonorris i always look good

pierregasly looking great guys!

yninstagram thanks p!!

landonorris thanks muppet! you are the best, love u!

yninstagram, pierregasly added to their stories

.

.

january, winter.

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pierregasly receiving the godfather title, thanks paul and charlotte for this cutie.

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chadeveaux uncle timeeeee

paulgasly 💙💙💙

charles_leclerc the cutest

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yninstagram we only meet for baptisms and children's birthdays 💗

Congratulations @paulgasly and @chadeveaux on your gorgeous princess.

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chadeveaux you better be the godmother of the next one

gaslyteam10 omg PIERRE AND YN REUNION 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

yukierreupdates charles is always third-wheeling 😂😂

pierregasly something is missing on this dump

yninstagram not really

charles_leclerc oooooh we are the best uncle and auntie ever

gaslyloverera mmmmm crumbs

april, spring.

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yninstagram yesssss cold weather is over 🤩☀️🌈🧡🍧🍨🍦

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pedrogaseoso girl pierre hasn't missed a post since the breakup, get back together already

ynbestfriend stunning baby

pyry.salmela capri ice cream >>>>>>> any other ice cream

yninstagram yessirrr

charlottesiine baby 💗

1.853 likes

gaslyteam10 Pierre is spending the weeknd in Capri🧐👀

The devil works hard but Pierre works harder 😂😂

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lovelypedro could they be more obvious? 😂😂😂

fan832 so it's confirmed

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pierregasly capri dump 😋💙

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charles_leclerc you did itttttt mate, love you 😂❤️

teamgasly10 BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR SO LONG

yninstagram 🐚🌊💙

yukitsunoda0511 have fun kid

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yninstagram life lately 🥰💙

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pierregasly would you follow me back please?

yninstagram mmmmmm idk

charlottesiine 😍😍😍😍😍

yukierrex our parents are back charlie boy @charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc i know!!!! not a child of divorce anymore