#tws incorrect quotes

[zb1bies]

jeonghan: We're having a baby.

tws: Oh, congratu-

seungkwan, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

or respectively..

jeonghan: We're having a baby.

enhypen: Oh, congratu-

seungkwan and hoshi, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

[secretidentie]

Tim for literally no reason: Hey Jason do yk where I can get some cocaine

Jason: Why tf do you need cocaine

Tim: I'm a teenage CEO why tf do you think I need cocaine

Jason: Fair enough. But I'm still not selling you cocaine

Tim: Why not? I just want to hang out with the other young finance bros

Jason: Hey dick head, tell your brother I'm not giving him cocaine

Dick: Tim are you okay? do you want to talk about this??

Tim: Uhg I'm fine. You're the one ones who said I should stop drinking coffee

Jason: and you thought this was a good alternative???

Tim: Come on I'll only do a little

Dick: Is this coz we spoiled the ending of wolf of Wallstreet

Tim: Why can't I just have some? You do!

Jason: No I don't

Tim: You're a crime lord

Dick: Yeah isn't it like part of the job

Jason: WHAT NO Stereotype much. I've never even seen cocaine up close

Tim: YOU'RE A CRIME LORD

Jason: Yeah not a drug dealer THERE'S A DIFFERENCE

Tim: I should have known your not cool enough to have drug dealer connections

Jason: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA BUY A FUCK TON OF COCAINE AND DO IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU JUST TO RUB IT IN

Dick: Woah woah that's enough both of you. No one in this house is doing drugs. If anyone talks about cocaine again I'll tell Bruce you said you want to start a new crack epidemic. He'll make you sit in at strangers AA meetings and read through old case files of ex dealers and their autopsies. Don't. TEST. me.

Tim: ............

Jason: ............

Tim: Can you sell me meth?

[incorrectbatfam]

Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?

[Wayne Enterprises]

Tim: Finally, time for my break.

Tim: *opens his mini fridge*

*dozens of apples fall out*

———————

[the library]

Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*

Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*

Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.

———————

[day patrol]

Duke: *opens his lunchbox*

Duke: *sighs*

Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*

Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*

———————

[West-Reeve Middle School]

Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.

Jon: ...

Jon: Deal.

———————

[Bludhaven]

Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.

Jason: *hands him a bag*

Dick: What'd you get?

Jason: A frozen turkey. You?

Dick: *opens it*

*fire alarm goes off*

[p1nkshield]

Damian: Todd prepare. I’m going to kill you!

Jason: you can try but it probably won’t stick!

Bruce: what is this about?

Jason: I sent baby pictures of knife child to the robins group chat.

Damian: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THOSE TODD?!?

Jason: If I wanted something I would bribe Talia with them.

Damian: what? LIES! NEITHER OF MY PARENTS WOULD STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL RIGHT FATHER?

Bruce: …

Damian: father?

Bruce:… how much?

Damian: FATHER?!?

Bruce: name your price!

Damian: NO!

[leafybnuuy]

MC, peacefully cooking dinner : (◜〰◝)

Sylus, already regretting what he’s about to do :

Sylus : Bitch, what’s for dinner

[The peaceful atmosphere dropped]

MC : ..grilled cheese..

Sylus : . . .

[Sylus hands MC the loaded gun, before kneeling down]

Sylus : Just shoot me to end my suffering, please. I don’t deserve your forgiveness.

MC : Sylus—

[kiame-sama]

Fem!Reader: Fuck it.

Yan!Lilia: I thought the term was "fuck you"

Fem!Reader: Fuck me yourself, you coward. *Saunters away*

Sebek: How dare-?!

Yan!Lilia: *loosens his tie* boys, I expect you all to honor and respect your new mother figure. *Chases after reader*

Silver/Sebek/Malleus: eh??

[a-bit-dapper]

incorrect textposts: miscellaneous edition

the first batch

[wondersinwaynemanor]

Red Hood and Red Robin greeting each other seriously during patrol so that RR can give the coordinates of a homeless child somewhere in Crime Alley. as if they weren't talking about explosives the other night and Jason didn't teach Tim to bake the coffee cupcakes he loves so much.

Later in a few

Red Hood, crushes the bags of stimulants on his hand and throws them on the sewers: Get a fucking new hobby. These things are disgusting.

Goon, runs: Fuck you, Hood!

Red Hood, sighs: What an idiot- The fuck. Where's my other gu-

Red Hood sighs again.

Red Hood, speaks to the rest of the family through the comms before chasing the goon: The kid's got my weapon again.

Nightwing: Robin, what -

Robin: Negative. It's not me.

Batman, pinches the bridge of his nose as he sits on a gargoyle somewhere in Gotham and thinks, "Here we go again."

Somewhere at a rooftop in Metropolis

Kon: Um Tim, I know you have plans of destruction, but-

Tim puts the weapon at the back of his suit. and Kon wonders how do the Bats even have places for weapons on their suits?

Tim: Nah, this is a comeback for him stealing one of the cupcakes you like at my apartment.

Kon: I already told you I'm over it!

Red Hood, hears the conversation through the comms and screams: Like the boy said, he's over it! Give that back to me!

[mossfeathers]

we're so back (part 2 electric boogaloo) [1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13]

[cinnudelx]

Okay imagine this catws Steve Rogers x hydra agent reader where he kept her as hostage to answer questions, and Steve being kinda dummy doesn’t know reader cutting her rope with a pocket knife as she know jumps on him sitting near his dick as it hardens and the rest is up to you

thank you for your request!! i hope you enjoy <33

Hostage 🎀

pairing: tws!steve rogers x hydra agent!reader

summary: steve needs to know what HYDRA is hiding. luckily you fell right into his lap (literally) and he kept you as hostage for an interrogation, determined to get answers but you had something else in mind.

warnings: smut smut smut!! mentions of reader being tied up, explicit language, clothed grinding, degrading names such as slut, dirty, but also some praise, spanking, tit!obsessed steve, steve talking you through it, riding, doggy style. MINORS DNI!

w.c: 1.8k

a.n: i had sm fun writing this. something about catws does things to meee

with a groan, your eyes slowly blinked open, taking in your surroundings. there you were, bound to a chair, arms tied behind you in a dimly lit room, steve rogers shield propped up against the wall in front of you. it was hard to make out exactly where you were but all you knew was that you were still on that damn ship, caught during one of your missions with HYDRA.

the door suddenly opened, revealing none other than steve himself, taking his helmet off. “good. you’re finally awake.” he grumbled, shutting the door and walking up to you.

steve stopped a couple steps in front of you after tossing his helmet to the floor, staring you down as he noticed so many thoughts running through your head that you’re not even phased by him.

“what were you and your team doing here?” steve asks firmly, titling your chair back to look into your eyes.

you clenched your jaw as your eyes glared into his, clearly displaying the fact you’re stubborn and will never release information just like that.

he smirked coldly, tilting your chair back even more. “you gotta start talking before i do something i’m not supposed to, agent. you know i can’t let you go til you say somethin’.”

you stared back at him, feeling your pocketknife strapped inside your sleeve. it was laughable, honestly, how easy this situation was to get out of. you subtly reached your hand into your sleeve. “cap, if you really think i’ve got loose lips, you’ve got another thing coming.” you grinned, challenging him, successfully catching your knife behind your back.

steve nodded, clenching his jaw. “okay.” he nodded again, reaching back and grabbing his shield. you couldn’t help but think how hot he looked frustrated. it was so wrong, but you wanted to see more.

he suddenly pressed the edge of his shield to the front of your neck, one hand on the shield and the other on the back of your chair as he intimidatingly searched your eyes, “start talking, agent. i haven’t got all day.”

little did he know, you were already cutting yourself free, so subtly he couldn’t see or hear a thing. “well, if you must know, we’re not really fond of you guys. you and your little group. what do you call yourselves again? the… um…” you pretended to think of the name, trying to waste as much seconds as possible.

steve pressed his shield harder against your neck, a vein popping out on his forearm. “agent, m’not fucking around. what are you and your team looking for.” he gritted out, his eyes darkening.

you winced slightly. yep, that definitely drew blood. “okay, okay. i’ll tell you. just—“

you let out a coughing breath as he pulled away his shield slightly. finally you were going to talk, he thought.

or were you.

the moment you freed yourself, you smirked, pushing away his shield forcefully as it fell to the floor. steve’s eyes widened as you lunged at him, straddling him on the floor as he fell. he struggled under your strong grasp as you held him down, tilting your head. “you know, you really need to work on interrogation. you didn’t even pat me down or anything while i was knocked out.” you smirked.

he clenched his jaw, realising his mistake. he was new to this interrogation thing. matter of fact, it was his first.

steve gripped your hips, trying to pull you away but you grabbed his wrists, pinning them to his sides and shifting your position on him swiftly, causing your core to brush off his clothed cock.

what came next made you and steve’s eyes widen. he let out a moan.

you looked down, a smirk growing back on your lips as you noticed his rock hard bulge. he struggled harder under your hold but you knew he wasn’t using his full strength. he could easily throw you across the room if he wanted to but something deep down wanted you to stay on top of him.

another fact was that you could feel your panties start to soak through. it was his fault. his stupid fucking moan and that goddamn hard on.

you didn’t know what to do but steve beat you to it, his hands reaching for your hips to pull you off but you grabbed his hands that were placed on your hips, grinding your core against his hard on once more to test the waters, your eyes searching his.

and there it was, another moan. god he was so sensitive.

“wh-what are you doing…?” he strained, his jaw clenched and his grip on your hips tightening.

“what are you doing?” you breathed out, the both of you secretly liking this.

he hissed, looking down at the place where your bodies met. “shit…” he breathed out, mostly to himself.

you gave him another roll of your hips, your lips parting slightly. “steve…” you gave him a look of uncertainty, moaning out his name quietly.

his mind was numb, couldn’t think of anything else but the fact your grinding against his clothed hard cock. “fuck- ngh-“ he growled, gripping your hips harder. “god… w-we shouldn’t do this.”

“yeah, i-i know..” you moaned softly, continuing your movements nonetheless.

“fuck it.” he grunted as he pushed you down to his thighs slightly before zipping his cock out of his suit, “you started this. now take off those fucking pants and ride me.”

your heart almost leapt out of your goddamn throat. holy fucking shit.

you couldn’t even think straight, your hands already fiddling with your pants as he started stroking his cock, watching you throw your pants to the floor. you almost let out a moan at the sight of him. he was propped up on one elbow, the other hand pumping his cock. as your pussy hovered over him, you pulled your panties to the side, your breathing becoming more laboured.

“open.” he reached up, the pads of his fingers against your plump lips. without thinking, you parted your lips, allowing his fingers to enter your mouth. you moaned as your tongue swirled around his digits, getting them nice and wet. “good girl.” he praised with a groan before taking his fingers out and stuffing them inside your pussy, causing you to double over him.

“s-steve-“

“shhhh… you wanted this. i don’t wanna hear it.” he hushed you, finger fucking you slowly before taking his fingers out and coating your pussy juices on his cock, stroking himself before gripping the base of his length. “cmon, ride my cock. show me how much you wanted this.”

you didn’t even need to be asked twice, already finding yourself sinking down on his cock. the both of you let out a soft gasp and moan at the sensation. he spilt you open with his thick girth, bottoming out immediately thanks to how soaked you are.

he propped himself up on both his elbows, watching you sit on his cock. “dirty fucking girl. look at you.” he growled as you started to ride him, soft moans and whimpers escaping your lips. you were so confident going into this but once you actually had this thing going, you couldn’t help but enjoy the way he was degrading you. “show me those tits, baby. take em out.”

he groaned as you pulled your shirt up, your bra-less tits spilling out as your shirt remained rolled up above your breasts. you started rocking your hips, picking up the pace.

“s-steve, mmmh, y-you- mmm…”

“what? drunk on my cock already? cmon. use your words like a big girl.” he grunted out, watching his cock disappear into your tight cunt.

fuck.

“y-your so big-“ you moaned out, rolling your eyes to the back of your head. “shit…”

he hummed darkly with a deep groan. “yeah, bet you fucking like that, don’t you? such a good, filthy girl.“

your pussy fluttered at his degradation, tightening around him as you quickened your pace, bouncing on his cock. “oh my god.” you moaned uncontrollably, throwing your head back, already feeling the pressure build up.

he sat up fully, taking one of your tits into his mouth as he grabbed your ass, giving it a firm spank.

“oh, fuck! steve!” you moaned out, bouncing on his cock faster.

he growled, guiding your hips up and down on his painfully hard cock. “so dirty. look at that. soaking my cock when i call you filthy things and slap that ass, huh? you like that?” he slapped your ass again before gripping it firmly with a moan as he felt himself approaching the edge.

“god, yes. oh fuck, p-please.” you whined out a moan, his lips enveloping your tit again, his hand on your other one kneading it and pinching your nipple.

“no respect for yourself, huh? you’re caught here with me and all you can think of is this cock. fucking slut.” he grunted, pulling you off his lap and positioning you on all fours.

he pushed your upper back down as you perked up your ass. gripping your ass firmly with one hand as the other slipped his cock back into your dripping pussy, he landed another smack against your ass.

“mmh, fuck! yes!” you groaned out, moaning uncontrollably as he slammed his hips into you at a bruising pace, making you see stars. “steve, don’t stop. i’m gonna fucking cum.” you panted out, arching your back.

“hold it.” he demanded, gripping your hips tighter as he slammed into you. the sound of your moans, his grunts, skin slapping against skin and squelches filling the room.

“i-i can’t. fuck, it’s too much.” you cried out, moaning almost pornographically before he snaked a hand around your thigh and pressed his fingers against your clit, rubbing it in circular motions.

“be good for me and hold it. i know you can. cmon.” he grunted, gritting his teeth as he pounded into you, nearing his release.

after a few more moments, he pulled away from your clit, gripping your ass tightly and landing a loud smack before starting to slam into you at an animalistic pace.

your eyes widened, your moans growing louder as your ass stung, your climax nearing soon.

“fuck, fuck, fuck…” he gritted his teeth, his grip on your ass becoming painfully tight, “cum for me, baby. now.”

with that, your thighs immediately trembled as you came around him with a loud, shaky moan of his name. your pussy clenched and fluttered around him, causing him groan loudly, pulling out and pumping his cock ferociously over your ass, painting your skin with his thick ropes of seemingly endless cum.

“fuck…” he panted, taking off one of his gloves and using it to wipe his cum off your back. he tucked himself back into his pants, standing up with satisfied sigh as he zipped himself up.

you sat up against the wall, panting as you looked up at him, your cheeks flushed. he crouched down, tilting his head with a smirk, knowing that he’s finally got you all fucked-out and vulnerable.

“now. let’s try this again.” he leaned forward, his hand bunching your hair into his fist. “what is HYDRA doing here.”

[queenie-the-court-jester]

oc incorrect quotes #5

y/n: cotton dear, I think you should-

Cotton: kick me out and I will k!ll myself.

Y/n: ...

1 hour later

*cotton sighs happily as he burried his face into y/n's chest, the latter staring off into the void with a deadpanned look*

[zb1bies]

cheol: why are there little handprints on the kitchen wall?

jeonghan, whispering to hanjin: why are there little handprints on the wall?

hanjin: because i have little hands

jeonghan, to cheol: because he has little hands

[lilbitosunny]

Another incorrect quote for the poison au! It's been finished for a while, but I only just put the text in

Have a doodle request or a question about the au? Shoot me an ask! :D

[incorrectbatfam]

Alfred gets sick of Bruce breaking and losing stuff on patrol so he gets a label maker and starts naming items after the kids

Alfred: I got you a new phone, just like you asked. Its name is Jason. Try not to let it die.

Bruce, tearing up: Why would you say that—

[lioneliness-etc]

Jason: I was just sparring with Tim. Is it just me or is he actually starting to bulk up finally?

Dick: awww baby bird is getting all grown up!

Jason: huh now that I think about it… its been since he started dating Bernard.

Dick: awwwww he’s taking such good care of our Tim!

Tim meanwhile: please help me. Bernard is a chef. He cooks so much food. He’s such a nerd about cooking and I have to eat it all because I love him. He packed me an entire cooler for lunch. What am I supposed to do with all of this??

[leafybnuuy]

MC : oh shut up

Sylus : you shut up

MC : make me

Sylus : I will

Sylus : but you might moan a little