ssslimyboy

[ssslimyboy]

Roman, kissing Virgil: Wow, your heart's beating really fast.

Virgil: Sorry, I'm kinda nervous.

Roman: Is this your first time?

Virgil: No, I've been nervous before.

[ssslimyboy]

You're what we in the scientific community call a "lil bitch."

— Logan

[ssslimyboy]

Patton, looking at grapes in the store:

Janus: You're not gonna steal those, are you?

Patton: Huh? No?

Janus: Good, because I am.

Janus: *grabs a handful and walks away*

[ssslimyboy]

Logan: Jellyfish have survived 600,000 years without a brain.

Janus: A ray of hope for the rest of you.

[ssslimyboy]

Logan and Janus, watching Remus play a trumpet with his nose:

Janus: He's so talented.

Logan: I've never been so repulsed and intrigued in my entire life.

[ssslimyboy]

Patton: Now... what do we say when someone gives you a small token, or a gift?

Virgil: What's the catch?

Patton: No... that's not—

Remus: Can I kill someone with this?

Patton: What? No! That's not even right—

Janus: Can it end my life if I unwrap it?

Patton: No! That's not it! Don't you guys have manners?

Virgil: Does saying "fuck off" count as a manner?

[ssslimyboy]

Remus, knocking on the door: Y'all fucking?

Roman: Yeah...

Virgil, wrapped in a blanket: Fucking depressed.

[ssslimyboy]

Patton: You remind me of a campfire.

Virgil: Here we go again...

Logan: How do I remind you of a campfire?

Patton: I want s'more.

Virgil: Great, now I'm hungry.

[ssslimyboy]

Remus: I've just had the weirdest thought.

Janus: Okay, go on.

Remus: If you are a security guard at Samsung, does that make you guardian of the galaxies?

Virgil: Oh my god...

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: I failed the safety and health course.

Virgil: How's that even possible?

Roman: One of the questions was, "in the case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Virgil: And...?

Roman: "Fuckin' big ones" apparently was not the right answer."

[ssslimyboy]

Thomas: Alright, guys, let's go over the PowerPoint.

Patton: Don't add to the population.

Remus: *rolls his eyes*

Logan: Don't SUBTRACT from the population.

Remus: Damn it!

Logan: Quiet. Stay out of the hospital, the newspaper, and jail.

Roman: So we're not allowed to have fun?

Janus: If you DO end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.

Virgil: There. There's your fun.

Roman: I'll take it.

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: I'm immune to mean and hurtful words because Patton says nice things to me every day and his love protects me.

Remus: I'm immune to mean and hurtful words because Janus says mean things to me every day, so I'm prepared.

[ssslimyboy]

Remus: Do you ever see something that changes your life and you're like... huh?

Patton: I saw you.

Remus: Honestly, that's so gay and sweet, but it really makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Ryan Reynolds as a chicken.

[ssslimyboy]

Thomas: I don't always make great decisions under pressure.

(flashback)

Janus: What the hell is that?

Thomas: An alpaca, I got the last one.

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: May I sit here?

Logan: That's my lap.

Roman: That doesn't answer the question.

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: Just overheard a conversation. They think you're a vampire.

Virgil: I wish! Sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and turn into a million bats to get out of social situations. Sign me the fuck up.

[ssslimyboy]

Virgil: I'm like Rapunzel. Except, instead of letting my hair down, I'm letting everyone else down.

Patton: Virgil, no—