ssslimyboy

[ssslimyboy]

hiii my queue ran out a few days ago and i havent had the chance to refill it yet! but spring break for my university is next week and i should be able to queue some more posts then.

in the meantime, submissions are always on, so if you have any good ones, feel free to send them my way

[ssslimyboy]

Remus: Yeah, I have a plan.

Janus: Is it a good one?

Remus: I have a plan.

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: One time Remus' friend Janus came over.

Roman: All they did was lie seductively on the piano and feed themself grapes.

Roman: I don't really like that guy, but I admire their lifestyle.

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: I have bad news and good news.

Janus: Good news first.

Remus: Well, the airbags in your car work perfectly!

[ssslimyboy]

Remus: Broke: Rating people by numbers. Woke: rating people by songs.

Janus: What would you rate Logan?

Remus: Africa by Toto.

Janus: A perfect 10, huh?

Remus: Yep.

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: Janus, be the bigger person.

Janus: I'm short and bitter. You be the bigger person.

[ssslimyboy]

Virgil: Janus, what are you doing?

Janus: Helping Roman look for his donuts I ate one hour ago.

[ssslimyboy]

Logan: ... what are you doing?

Virgil: Patton told me I need to drink more fluids, so I'm waiting for this ice cream to melt.

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: I'm not going to stand and watch you kill a man!

Remus: You're welcome to sit if you'd like.

[ssslimyboy]

Roman, seductively: Why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable? ;)

Virgil:

Virgil: Like a coma?

Roman: No—

[ssslimyboy]

Janus: I only feel one emotion and it is anger.

Roman: Last night, you drunk-texted every one of us a thousand heart emojis.

Janus: Out of anger

[ssslimyboy]

Patton: Hey, Janus, can you do me a favor?

Janus: I'd kill for you, but go on.

[ssslimyboy]

Remy: I'm so done with people that I'm gonna start charging them for talking to me.

Virgil: Hah, nice.

Remy: Yeah... That'll be $10, pay up.

[ssslimyboy]

Remus, opening the shower curtain: What do you want for breakfast?

Virgil: Some fucking privacy!

Virgil, internally: That's it, I'm leaving the Dark Sides.

[ssslimyboy]

(On the teacup ride at Disney)

Virgil, Logan, and Janus: *spinning calmly, enjoying the ride in peace*

Remus, Roman, and Patton: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

[ssslimyboy]

Remus: Hey, Roman, are you free around 7 on Friday?

Roman: Uh, yeah?

Remus: What about you, Logan?

Logan: I'm free.

Remus: Great! I'm not, but you two have fun on your date!

Logan: Wait, did he just—

[ssslimyboy]

Remus: The only part of me that's dummy thick is my skull.

Janus: I really didn't have to hear that today.