#romantic prinxiety

[mvrphysart]

they’re just good old-fashioned lover boys

[shapa-likes-art]

(Image description is in alt text)

Happy Valentine's day, y'all!! (Remember, next week is Aromantic and Asexual week >:3)

Atp, Valentines day for me is specifically reserved for the ships I have and gives me a reason to draw them together teehee

Taglist: @roseianxiety @vash-the-trans-catboy @angstysunshine @treeni @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @plaguethewaters @anxious-chaos-art @ghostbunnii @sapphicfrogae444 @cutebisexualmess @thedeadandthedecaying @swampthing07 @oliversdumbshit

Tell me if you wanna be added or removed!

[ssslimyboy]

Roman: Can I ask a dumb question?

Virgil: Better than anyone I know.

[prodigal-explorer]

mmm

just thinking about roman having nightmares

and hiding it from virgil because he doesn’t want to give his worry-prone boyfriend one more thing to be anxious about

but he starts to lose sleep

like

a lot of sleep

and one day virgil notices that roman is so tired that he sits on the couch for a second and just falls asleep. thinking this is sweet, he sits beside roman and plays on his phone while roman sleeps.

until roman wakes up screaming from a nightmare, and the truth comes out.

[okayikaybee]

Valentimes 💜❤️‍🩹

V: youre gonna drop me

R: I promise you I won't

it took forever to get this pose right

[stardustsides]

Love is a Beach

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Patton and Janus broke up months ago. The problem? They still haven’t told their friends, and their annual beach trip is looming. Not wanting to break the news and ruin the vacation, they come to an…unconventional agreement.

Pairings: Moceit, background Prinxiety

Content Warnings: Drinking/flashback to underage drinking, drunkenness, breakups, lmk if i missed anything!!

Word Count: ~2100

Author’s Note: The second chapter is here!! Writing the flashback in this chapter made me miss freshman year of college so bad actually i need to go back i fear.

~

Janus stood in the emptiness of the master bedroom and stared at the space where Patton had been. The late afternoon sun spilled across the polished hardwood floor, painting the room in a hazy gold. Muffled from downstairs, he could hear him telling Virgil that he would cook after all tonight, which didn’t surprise him in the slightest. He knew from six years of being in a relationship with the man that he cooked under stress. Memories of coming home to their apartment to find Patton in the kitchen surrounded by trays upon trays of cookies came flooding back to him, and his heart gave a painful tug.

He blew out a careful, measured breath and sat on the corner of the bed. He hadn’t been lying—Patton really was a terrible actor, which provided two massive problems for Janus: one, because they had to keep the charade up all week, and two, because Janus secretly found Patton’s complete inability to lie one of his most endearing qualities.

Really, this had been a terrible idea to begin with, but when he had come over to the apartment to pick up his things, he couldn’t help but notice the deep circles under Patton’s puffy red eyes, his unkempt hair, his rumpled shirt. No matter how upset with each other they still were, when Patton had turned to look at him, the only thing that he wanted to do was close the space between them, take him into his arms, and smooth down his hair. Even now, he hated seeing him so upset. And so, he did the only thing that he could think to do:

Propose the world’s worst plan.

They still hadn’t told the others about the breakup yet. It was getting to the point where it was starting to worry Janus, so he could only imagine how much it was destroying Patton. If the bags under his eyes were any indication, he had been turning the question of how to tell them over and over in that worrywart way of his. And so, the plan was concocted: by keeping the act up until after their vacation, they both got to enjoy one final week of normalcy with their friends, and it gave them time to cool down enough that when they did break the news, they could at least present a united front.

And, though he wouldn’t admit it, the selfish part of him wanted to avoid the crushing finality of telling everyone for as long as possible.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but then again, his brain had always seemed to turn to mush when it came to Patton.

The bastard was impossible not to adore.

And so, here he was, sitting on the edge of the bed that he would be sharing with his ex-boyfriend for the next week, in a lovely little house that he could so clearly picture the two of them sharing a life in, surrounded by all of their closest friends.

One week. That was all he had to get through.

One week, and then everything would change.

~

Dinner was, of course, delicious.

Janus twirled his spaghetti around his fork and tried to look as nonchalant as possible, situated directly next to Patton. He cut a sidelong glance at him—at the very least, he seemed a fraction less tense than a few hours ago, which he supposed was an improvement. He had been white-knuckling the steering wheel on the ride over.

His face was also prettily flushed, the way it always was after a few glasses of wine, which Janus was valiantly trying to ignore.

“This is wonderful, dear,” Janus said as naturally as he could. Patton started a little.

“Thank you!” He responded, the flush creeping down to his neck and beneath the collar of his shirt. A small, traitorous part of Janus’s brain wondered how far down it went. “…honey.”

“I was thinking we could all head down to the beach at around ten tomorrow?” Roman cut in brightly. “Make some sandwiches, bring a cooler?”

“Sounds good to me,” said Virgil, picking at his salad. In spite of himself, Janus had to fight back a smile. Roman could have suggested they all walk over hot coals at six AM sharp, and Virgil would have readily agreed.

“Everyone good for margaritas after dinner?” Roman asked. He had worked as a bartender in college, and as such, always took it upon himself to make drinks for the group at large. Not that Janus complained. Roman knew exactly how Janus liked his drinks–syrupy sweet, the alcohol nearly undetectable–and scarcely teased him for it.

Patton nodded so emphatically that a bit of white wine from the glass that he was holding nearly sloshed over the side, and understanding hit Janus like a stone sinking in water. He’s planning on getting drunk.

Janus could hardly blame him–the thought had crossed his mind too, as a way to cope with the comically uncomfortable situation the two of them had found themselves in–but Patton was a notoriously chatty drunk.

The first time they had all drank together as a group was in freshman year, sitting in a cramped circle around Roman and Patton’s shared dorm room, playing some drinking game that Roman had found online and nursing some truly disgusting vodka mixers with whatever beverages they could scavenge from the vending machines. It had been two years before he and Patton had started dating, and at the time, Janus had been determinedly ignoring the way his stomach swooped at the sound of his laugh like a bird dipping and gliding in the air. He knew fully well from his older sister what happened to friend groups when two of the members started dating. Despite having only met in August, these were some of the closest friends that Janus had ever had, and he wasn’t willing to give it up on the off chance that Patton liked him back.

On his left, Logan took a shot of New Amsterdam, his face scrunching up in disgust as the others cheered. On his right, Patton, leaning against his dresser and eyes slightly unfocused, shushed them halfheartedly, mumbling something about keeping quiet for the RA. Remus reached to the deck of cards in the center of their lopsided circle, and drew the top one, crowing, “Queen!”

“Whaddoes that one do again?” Virgil asked, readjusting the weighted dinosaur from Patton’s bed he was holding in his lap. He hadn’t relinquished it all night.

“I gotta ask someone a question, then that person asks someone else a question, and so on. First person who doesn’t want to answer drinks. Logan–what’s the worst grade you’ve ever gotten in a class?”

Logan blushed beet red and glared down into his red solo cup, as if trying to divine the answer from his rancid blue Gatorade mixer. At last, he mumbled, “A B. Plus. In junior year English.”

They all roundly booed him.

Logan straightened up and cast his gaze around the circle. “Um…Patton. What is the worst thing you’ve done in the past week?”

Patton’s eyes immediately widened, and he looked guiltily down at the floor. “Yes’trday, I…killed a spider.”

“The horror,” said Remus.

“I didn’ mean to, it jus’ startled me!” Patton said, the alcohol slurring his words together. They had never gotten drunk together as a group before, and Janus suspected that this may be Patton’s first time getting drunk at all.

“‘S alright, Pat,” Virgil snorted, not much more sober than Patton was. “‘S your turn.”

Patton immediately perked up. “So I ask a question?”

“Yep!” Roman said from Patton’s other side.

“Can be anything,” Remus added.

Patton thought for a moment, then turned to Janus so suddenly he startled. Patton’s face was inches away from his, eyes glittering, a pretty flush on his cheeks. ”Janus!” he chirped, and nearly tipped forward into Janus’ lap. “Do you like me?”

The reaction was immediate. Remus choked on his drink, and Roman made a noise that was somewhere between a hysterical laugh and a delighted gasp. Logan’s mouth fell open as he gaped at Patton, and Virgil, despite his inebriation, tugged at Patton’s hand firmly and gave him a pointed glare, hissing, “Pat.”

Janus sat rooted to the spot, the world seeming to tip beneath him. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from Patton, looking at him so earnestly with those melted chocolate eyes, his lips slightly parted. He was so close that Janus could count the freckles on his face.

He could feel the response on his tongue; could feel the shape of the words, the weight of them. He opened his mouth, and managed a humiliating sound that was something like a frog croaking, which made the twins laugh even harder.

Yes, his brain screamed at him. Yes, I do, and if you keep looking at me like that, I might fall in love with you, too.

Instead, he took a sip of his drink.

~

Now he sat on the couch, margarita in hand and trying his best to ignore the way his nerve endings lit up at every square inch of Patton’s body pressed against his side.

They were all a few drinks deep by now; the twins had insisted on playing drinking games, despite the fact that they were certainly getting too old for such things. Still, it was a welcome distraction: facing off against Roman and Virgil with Remus in a game of pong as Logan and Patton watched bemusedly from the couch was a welcome distraction. At some point, though, he had tapped out, swapping places with Logan, and now he found himself on the couch with Patton.

The room had gone pleasantly fuzzy around the edges; Janus closed his eyes, allowing himself to savor the feeling. His friends were together, the house was quaint and cozy, and Patton was leaning against him, his warmth as comforting as Janus remembered. He could almost pretend that everything was as it should be; that he and Patton were still together, and that they could sit like this again, curled up on each other, not having to worry about jumping back as if the other had burned them.

Janus shoved the thought away; it wasn’t fair to Patton to let himself pretend. They had broken up, and Patton had probably moved on by now. Regardless of whatever lingering feelings Janus still had for him, he needed to respect that.

Patton shifted, and his head lolled gently against Janus’ shoulder. He had been strangely quiet all night—at least he was keeping his lips sealed about the agreement—but Janus was being very much reminded what a cuddly drunk Patton was.

He supposed he should be grateful; if Patton hadn’t decided to sit next to him, it might have seemed suspicious. But him sitting here brought on a new host of problems, chief of which is that Janus would have given anything for the two of them to stay there forever.

He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his mind. The breakup was his own fault, after all; if he had wanted this forever, then he should have stepped up when he had the chance. But still, that wouldn’t have been fair to Patton.

Things are better this way, he told himself firmly. He had been repeating the words over and over again for the past few months, hoping that one day, he’d believe them.

He shifted, and found himself nose-to-nose with Patton, who was blearily blinking up at him through long eyelashes. Janus didn’t know how long he had been staring at him like that.

“Hello,” Janus said, hoping that the flush in his cheeks could be chalked up to the alcohol. “Enjoying the party?”

“Mmmhm,” Patton mumbled sleepily. “Dr’nk too much.”

“I can see that.”

Patton’s brow furrowed, face scrunched up in a pout. “Mean.”

“Honest.” He could feel Patton’s soft curls tickling his chin. “Perhaps we should get you to bed.”

“No,” he whined. “‘M comfy.”

“You won’t be when you wake up on the couch tomorrow with a terrible hangover.”

He poked Janus in the arm. “You’re comfy.”

“Patton,” Janus said, sterner this time. This—whatever this was—couldn’t happen. “Come on, let’s get up.”

“You going to bed?” Roman asked from the pong table, wincing as Logan sank a shot into one of his cups.

“Mhm,” Janus said, looping an arm around a very reluctant Patton. “Someone had a bit too much to drink.”

“‘M fine,” Patton insisted, an argument that was made less convincing by the way he started hiccuping.

“Bed, Patton.”

Remus snorted. “Don’t let him trip up the stairs!” He called after them.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Janus said back easily, even as Patton stumbled over his own feet.

They were almost to the landing, Patton tucked against Janus’ side, when Janus heard him mumble, almost too quietly for him to hear it, “I wish you din’ break up with me.”

If Janus hadn’t been so focused on getting him safely to bed, he might have accidentally dropped him. A million emotions clawed their way through his body, filling up his heart: guilt, longing, anger towards himself.

He pushed them all down and readjusted Patton under his arm. “I promise, Patton. It’s better this way.”

TAGLIST: @bluejay-of-the-west @scare-amor @harmonialcollisions @emoprincey @dragonboots @just-my-interpretation @spicycreativity @infawrit10 @emophoenixreborn @6-paris-6 @thedeadandthedecaying @moceit @lily-janus @instantromannoodles @betamash @nandysparadox @halfhissandwich @sanderssidesthehouse @littlerat2 @giraffeboat

[jthezombshark]

Don’t ask me I thought This ye here was funyy

[loganslowdown4]

Virgil: Hey, I’m ordering pizza. What kind do you want?

Roman: Pizza? I’d like a pizza that ass.

Virgil:

Roman:

Virgil:

Roman: Pepperoni please.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

My Muse's Mirror (Pt.1)

-------------------------

“Virgil it's been three hours- are you coming to bed or not?” Virgil looked up from the couch, legs hanging lazily over the top as he leaned against the center coffee table.

“In a minute! I'm finishing up a commission!” he said, turning his attention back to the. . . Interestingly dressed mishmash of fur and colors that was his latest art request.

“You said ‘in a minute’ 3 hours ago, that commission isn't due until next week- I'm sure you can pick it back up in the morning,” Roman said, Virgil listened as his husband shuffled off of the bed, feeling making a slight pattern patter sound as he approached.

“Trust me when I say this, Ro, you don't want to look at anything on screen right now,” Virgil chuckled at the already dawning horror on Roman's face as his bright green eyes traced over to the drawing tablet.

“It's good money- pretty sure the guy's got a science job or something,” Virgil said nonchalantly, saving the drawing and plugging the tablet in on a side table.

“Alright- fine- bedtime for me I guess,” Virgil stretched his arms out before getting up from his precarious couch position.

“That's what I thought,” Roman stepped behind him, evidently in a vague attempt to block him from running back to the tablet to do some ‘last minute detailing’. Virgil glanced at the smartwatch on his wrist, which read 3:47am. Geez, he really had been up for a while.

“Don't forget your teeth tall dark and sleep deprived,” Roman said before climbing back into bed.

Virgil made his way into the bathroom, taking his phone out of his sweatpants and pulling up YouTube to find a decent 3-minute song.

With the insides of his mouth now thoroughly engulfed with the overwhelming taste of mint Virgil climbed into bed, wriggling his way into Roman's arms.

His peaceful sleep was interrupted by the God forsaken sound of Roman's alarm clock. Virgil let out a small whine of protest as he felt the warmth of Roman's body slip away to leave him in the cold dark abyss of an empty bed.

“Aaaww, don't worry my chemically imbalanced romance, I will return shortly from my quest with chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for dinner,” Roman said with a laugh, ruffling Virgil's hair.

“It's not a quest it's a 9 to 5 where you get paid to sing at people while they try to order food,” Virgil said with a laugh.

“Well- if you're so incensed shout it then maybe I won't take you out to the carnival after my shift,” Roman taunted.

“Wait- carnival?”

“They just opened for the winter, seems like a pretty spooky theme, I thought you might like to go, but if you're just sooooooo upset about my job. . .”

“Nononono forget I said anything! I want to go pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!-” Virgil, in a surprising turn of usual events, had gotten out of bed before 12pm at the news.

“Fiiiinnneee- I suppose I'll take you after work,” Roman said, smiling.

Virgil, deciding that since he was already up, he might as well get a few things done, decided to get himself some coffee and breakfast with his cousin Janus, and his new boyfriend.

“So Virgil, what'd you do for a living?” Patton was a very- Spunky- Person, not the kind of guy Virgil would've pegged for Janus, then again, he doubted Roman would've been the expected choice for himself.

“Oh uh- I'm an online artist,” Virgil responded, face flushing slightly pink.

“Oh wow! You must be very talented,” Patton said, all smiles and encouragement. Virgil was having a very difficult time figuring out if he was ever serious about anything he was saying, or if the sweetness was some kind of weird power trip.

“Uh- thanks- I guess-”

“Don't mind him dear, he hasn't quite figured out the concept of self confidence yet,” Janus said, chuckling.

“My confidence has nothing to do with my hesitancy to talk about my career and you know it,” Virgil said, eliciting a small snrk sound from Janus, who was very clearly trying to avoid breaching the topic of what kind of commissions Virgil usually earned the biggest salary from.

“So- this carnival Roman's taking you to later tonight- is it far?” Janus asked.

“Not by much, only like an hour or two,” Virgil responded, finishing off the last of his croissant.

“Oh, then I'm sure you'll have plenty of animation ideas by the time you get there,” Janus said with a laugh.

“What can I say? There's nothing like a good long dissociative spell to get rid of a little art block,” Patton looked vaguely alarmed, but held back whatever he might have wanted to say about that particular statement.

“Well I'd love to stay and chat about your unhealthy coping mechanisms, but I'm afraid Patton and I have a train to catch- big business party tonight,” Janus said as he stood up from the table.

“Don't get too drunk, don't want your new boyfriend seeing you cry about snakes again do you?” Virgil said, snickering as Janus moved to pull his hat over his rapidly darkening face.

Virgil watched the two of them leave, then hopped into his own car for a quick drive to his brother-in-law Remus’ house.

“We finished up the paperwork yesterday, so now we're just waiting to hear back from the adoption agency! I don't think Logan's ever been so excited in his life- well- other than getting Valedictorian in high school- or after that trip to Spain we took to visit Ro and I's grandparents- or-” 

“I think Logan might just be very excited about new things, Remus,” Virgil said, admiring Remus’ newest addition to his pottery shelf.

“Is this one a commission? Or are you keeping it?” Virgil asked, tilting his head at a particularly horrific looking sculpture.

“Oh yeah- that one's for me, one of my ‘therapy pieces’,” Remus replied.

“Ah- that explains it,” Virgil said, taking a seat on the nearby couch and giving a resolute scratch behind the ears to Remus and Logan's dog, Rosalie.

They sat and talked for a while, about Logan's new job at the local daycare, about emotional expression through art, about some of Roman's newest embarrassing stories that he didn't need to know they were talking about.

“Well- I should get going- Roman'll be heading home any moment now and I want to make sure I'm ready to head to the carnival when he's off,” Virgil said, standing up from the dining room table.

“Have fun- take pictures- and if you find any fun souvenirs I'd love to see them,” Logan, who'd just gotten home from his own shift, said as Virgil left through the door with a small wave.

“See anything interesting?” Roman asked, watching Virgil eye some of the carnival shop stands curiously.

“What about. . . This? I think it would look good on you,” Virgil said, holding up a silver dragon necklace with red gems where the eyes would be.

“Oh you'll want to be careful with that one my dear. . . Legend says that the soul of a selfish and arrogant prince is trapped inside. . .” The woman manning the counter spoke in a low raspy tone, her black hair covering her face under the raggedy cloak she wore.

Virgil laughed it off, handing her a few bucks and clasping the necklace around Roman's neck.

They spent the rest of the day riding around on the carnival rides until the amount of snack food they'd been eating felt like it might catch up with them, before heading home for the night.

“Don't go to bed too late my dear, I'll be waiting,” Roman said as he headed off to bed, the silver chain of his new necklace peeking out from his pajama shirt.

“I'll go to bed before 3am, promise-” Virgil responded, setting up his work station, maybe he could finish up that commission tonight so he and Roman would have the whole day to themselves tomorrow, to see if maybe there was a matching necklace or something at that carnival.

Virgil could've sworn he saw a spider, somewhere. . .

[thatgenderlessentity]

Patton- Roman and Virgil aren't coming? What are they doing? Did they say something?

Logan- They're helping Thomas with something else. Why are you so concerned?

Patton- Oh, I'm not concerned, I'm just, you know, emotionally invested in their love story.

Source: DC's Legends of Tomorrow

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Rosewood Splinters

The story doesn't always end at happily ever after - usually, it starts there.

Pairing: romantic prinxiety

Word count: 2395

Warnings: arophobia, amatonormativity

Notes: the first chapter of a fic in my pieces verse, which will start just after Patched Up Satin and continue through happeneing concurrently with the first half of Chipped Tea Sets.

for @i-cant-find-a-good-username over on my patreon!

thank you to @the-inky-isles for beta reading!

[mvrphysart]

I'd love if I u could do either c2 or d2 for prinxiety? I like the way you draw them lol

altered it a bit because i love short virgil <3

[shapa-likes-art]

Random doodle dump

(Image descriptions are in ALT text.)

Thank you @barkboydoesbark for the little dialogue boxes that turned into doodles lol

I haven't had enough time to post my digital art so have some physical doodles :3.

[ssslimyboy]

Virgil: Why are you following me?

Roman: Because we're dating now.

Virgil: Okay... what about Remus?

Roman: We're a package deal.

Remus: Buy one idiot, get one free.

[robertdownerjunior]

fic idea: virgil was the one who prompts roman to join the dark side with him and remus, no matter how much it tortures him to go back to being 'evil' he knows that he needs to do this to help thomas realize that there isn't such a thing as 'dark' sides, every side can be dangerous but every side has a purpose. so, for the greater good, he confronts his biggest fear and becomes the villain, and because he loves roman too much to let him go through it alone, that he's even fine with making a truce with remus who makes him very anxious and is one of his ex friends from the pre-redemption era to support his best friend right now.

[stardustsides]

Love is a Beach

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Patton and Janus broke up months ago. The problem? They still haven’t told their friends, and their annual beach trip is looming. Not wanting to break the news and ruin the vacation, they come to an…unconventional agreement.

Word Count: 2597

Pairings: moceit, background prinxiety

Content Warnings: drinking, breakups, mild innuendo

Author’s Note: I finally wrote the fake-dating-exes “there’s only one bed” moceit fic I’ve been threatening you all with!! I tagged everyone who expressed interest in reading this when I posted about it months ago. This fic is loosely based off of the novel “Happy Place” by Emily Henry :)

~

Not for the first time, the rational part of Patton’s brain was telling him that this was a bad idea. He had known it since they cooked it up, but he guessed that it was one thing to talk about it and another entirely to put it into action. He stood in the driveway, holding a bag of pool noodles and feeling slightly nauseous.

The rush of blood in his ears nearly drowned out the familiar chatter of his friends: Logan reading their checklist aloud in his typical drone, the twins cracking jokes from the backseat, Virgil groaning and telling them to shut it, trying and failing to smother the grin on his face. It was a perfect tableau of the people he loved most in the world, who, under different circumstances, he would have been thrilled to spend the week on vacation with, as he was every year.

As Janus loaded the last of the bags into the trunk, Patton met his eyes, and looked away as quickly as he could, staring at the gravel by his feet. Off to a flying start.

Plastering a smile onto his face, he clapped his hands. “Everyone ready?” He asked cheerfully, plopping into the driver’s seat. “AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!” Roman and Remus crowed in unison, to which Logan rolled his eyes. Janus slid into the passenger’s seat next to him with the grace of a lethargic cat. Patton dutifully kept his eyes on the rear view mirror as he pulled out of the driveway.

“I’m trusting you on aux, Jan,” Roman called from the back. “You better not disappoint!” Roman was usually the DJ of their road trips, as he always called dibs on shotgun (“dibs” used loosely, as he’d fight anyone who dared take his place as the resident passenger princess), but he had graciously relinquished his seat to Janus for this particular trip.

In fact, all of them had been exceptionally kind to both him and Janus for the past few weeks; Virgil had dropped a homemade loaf of sourdough at his apartment last week, saying that he “made too much”; Logan had told Patton that he’d pay the gas bill that Patton’s minivan was racking up for this trip; and, of course, Roman wouldn’t hear a word against Patton and Janus taking the master bedroom in the beach house they were renting.

It would melt Patton’s heart if it didn’t make his stomach twist with guilt.

He knew exactly where it was all coming from: they were expecting a proposal soon.

When Patton and Janus had first started dating in junior year of college, they could sense the wariness in their friends; they had all been inseparable since they first met in freshman year, and their concern that it would ruin the group dynamic was palpable.

That had been six years ago, though, and it really had only brought them all closer together. Janus and Patton had earned the nicknames “Mom” and “Dad”, respectively, and the others had all delighted in the prospect of one day being uncles to their kids.

And so, six years on in their relationship, everyone was clearly trying to contain their excitement about the proposal that they knew had to be coming soon.

So no, they couldn’t just tell the others about the breakup.

When it happened two months ago, Patton had fretted for days over how to break the news. Their trip to the beach, which had been a yearly tradition since they were sophomores in college, was looming, and he couldn’t stand the thought of breaking their hearts. His own was shattered already.

So when Janus showed up to move his stuff out of their apartment and suggested that they not tell the others until after the trip, it seemed like the best course of action at the time.

Now, the reality of the situation was really settling in as he drove on the freeway. He was facing down a week of playing lovebirds with his ex-boyfriend, actively deceiving the people in his life who knew him best, so yeah, you could say his resolve weakened a bit.

“Just to confirm, to avoid any confusion,” Logan began for what had to have been the fifteenth time that week. “Patton and Janus will be staying in the master bedroom. Roman and Virgil will take the first guest room, and myself and Remus will be staying in the second one, correct?”

Patton caught Roman’s eye in the rear view and exchanged a wry glance. Logan was clearly reiterating the sleeping arrangements over and over again in a futile attempt to get out of staying with Remus. Based on the way that Virgil had flushed bright red when Roman declared that they could room together, though, Logan’s efforts were completely in vain. Patton smiled a little in spite of himself. Virgil’s massive crush on Roman was one of the worst-kept secrets in the group; everyone knew about it except, of course, Roman himself, who was almost impressively oblivious.

“Yep,” Roman replied. “That’s what we all agreed on two weeks ago, L.” Logan said nothing in response and turned to stare out the window.

Their planning day two weeks ago was the first time that Patton had seen Janus since he had moved out. It also served as their “test run” for their charade, and it was just about as soul-crushing as Patton was anticipating it would be. He sat as close to Janus as he could bear, and forced himself to keep smiling, even as Roman showed them pictures of the room that they’d be sharing—he wasn’t really paying attention, as he was too preoccupied with the proximity of Janus’ knee to his. A wisp of blond hair escaped from Janus’ bun, as it often did, and Patton fought the urge to tuck it back. Instead, he gulped down a glass of the wine Logan had brought a bit too eagerly and studiously ignored the look it got him from Janus, who had the audacity to look amused.

Easy-peasy, he thought to himself, desperately avoiding Janus’s gaze.

All he’d have to do is make it through the week. One week, and then they could drop the charade and stop the lying and nothing would ever be the same in the group again.

He’d poured himself another glass of wine.

“Are we almost there?” Remus whined from the back row of seats, jolting Patton back to the present.

“Still another hour or so, Ree,” he responded, glancing at the GPS. Remus let out an anguished groan.

“Would you like a book to pass the time?” Logan asked, reaching into the bag at his feet. Every year, they’d all place bets on how many books Logan would read on vacation. His record was currently sitting at twelve.

“I’d rather have my arm torn off by wolves, no offense.”

“You’re quiet, Janus,” Virgil remarked.

“Hm?” Janus said, jolting a little beside him. Patton gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, but it filled him with a grim satisfaction to know that at the very least, he was on edge too. “Oh, just lost in thought. I’m ready to get into bed.”

“I’ll bet,” Remus grinned devilishly.

“Shut up, Remus,” Virgil laughed, smacking his arm.

“Anyways, we’ll be there soon enough,” Patton said, hoping that the frantic pitch in his voice came across as embarrassment. He could feel the hot blush creeping across his face. “And I’ll make spaghetti once we get there!”

“You don’t have to do that,” Janus said, and Patton startled. “You just drove, the least we could do is cook dinner.”

“Oh,” Patton managed. “That’s alright, I really don’t mind.”

“I’ll order pizza,” he said decisively, and Patton felt a mix of annoyance and appreciation. He’s so thoughtful. He always had been.

“Okay, if that’s alright with everyone else,” he replied unsteadily. “Thanks, honey.”

The pet name was out before he could stop himself, a habit the product of six years together. He thanked his lucky stars that he was driving, so he wouldn’t have to look at Janus.

“Of course, dear.”

His face burned.

Easy-peasy.

~

The house was stupidly perfect. Nestled in the heart of a picturesque beach town, it stood behind a picket fence, with white shutters and blue trim, framed by yellow rose bushes. It looked exactly like the kind of house he and Janus had always talked about moving to once they got married, and Patton’s heart gave another painful twist.

Everyone clambered out of the car, Remus darting forward to unlock the front door, everyone else grabbing their luggage. Patton breathed in the sea air and tried to steady himself.

The interior was just as lovely as the outside; light blue wood paneled walls decorated with paintings of the beach, with a pristine white couch that Patton had no doubt somebody would spill some brightly colored beverage on by the end of the week. Roman was breezing from room to room, showing everyone around, clearly quite pleased with himself for being the one to pick out their lodgings.

“You can choose which bed you want, I don’t mind either way,” he was saying to Virgil, their luggage piled in the center of their room.

“The place is beautiful, Ro!” Patton exclaimed as he poked his head through the doorway. Roman swelled with pride.

“Wait until you see your room! Here, lemme show you—it’s the one upstairs, at the end of the hall!”

“There’s an upstairs?” Patton asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

“Yep! You and Janus will have the floor all to yourself,” Roman said, throwing a playful wink at him. Patton hoped that the giggle he forced out was convincing. “Here, let me help you get your stuff upstairs.”

They trudged to the top of the stairs, bags in tow. As Roman pushed open the door to the room at the top, clearly awaiting his reaction, Patton schooled his features into what he hoped resembled joy.

The room was lovely. There was a seafoam green loveseat in the corner, a big window thrown open to reveal a clear view of the bay on the far side, white linen curtains dancing in the light breeze, and in the middle, of course, there was a plush king sized bed, covered in throw pillows shaped like seashells.

He had known that there would only be one bed. Obviously there would only be one bed. It was the master bedroom and him and Janus had been together for six years, of course they’d be sharing a bed.

But knowing that beforehand and seeing the bed in person were two entirely different things.

“Oh, Ro,” he managed. “It’s…it’s lovely. Thank you.”

Janus appeared in the doorway behind Roman, holding his own luggage.

“Of course, Pat,” Roman said, squeezing his hand. “I knew you’d love it. I’ll let you two get settled!” And with that, he slipped out, shutting the door behind him with a decisive click.

The silence stretched out, filling the room. It dawned on Patton that this was their first moment alone together in months. He felt uncomfortably warm. Finally, as the silence threatened to swallow them whole, Janus huffed. “You,” he began, “are a terrible actor.”

Patton opened his mouth and closed it. There was so much to say, and yet he could find no words at all. The tension was unbearable. He wanted to take Janus’s face in his hands, to search his gaze until he could fix whatever had broken between them. Instead, he pursed his lips and turned away, hoping that Janus wouldn’t hear the waver in his voice. “You knew that already.”

“I did,” Janus responded.

Patton cleared his throat. “There’s only one bed.”

“I’ve noticed.” Patton hated how utterly unbothered he sounded. So calm, cool, and collected while Patton was unraveling at the seams. As if six years down the drain meant nothing to him.

He made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “So…?”

“So?” He could hear the edges of amusement creep into Janus’ voice, and his face burned.

“So, what do you want to do about it?”

Janus sighed. “I could sleep on the floor, if you want.”

“What? No! You—I wouldn’t make you do that!” He stammered out.

“I know you wouldn’t,” he said. “But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You sleeping on the floor for a week because of me would make me uncomfortable, Janus,” Patton shot back. “Please, let’s just—it’s fine. It’s a big bed, and it’s only a week.”

Janus was silent for a moment, staring at him. Patton tried not to squirm under his gaze.

“Fine. If that’s what you want,” he said finally.

“It is,” he responded, certain that his face was spectacularly red. “Um. I’m going to—grab my things.” He headed for the door.

Janus raised an eyebrow towards his luggage already piled in the doorway but said nothing.

He flew down the stairs, cheeks on fire, and into the kitchen, where Virgil was busy unpacking the food for the week.

“Oh, hey,” he said.

“Hi,” Patton responded, unsure why he was already so out of breath. “Um. I’ll cook tonight.”

“I thought we were ordering pizza, like Jan said?”

“I know, I know, I just—have a lot of energy right now, I want to keep myself busy.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows. “Uh, alright. Everything okay?”

“Yep!” he said, wincing at the strain in his voice. “I just had too much coffee this morning before the drive, so. You know.” Terrible actor, indeed.

Virgil looked unconvinced. “Okay, if you’re sure. Just, uh—take it easy, alright? It’s supposed to be a vacation.”

“Says you,” he said, grinning a little and poking Virgil’s arm. Virgil rolled his eyes.

“This isn’t about me.”

“It is now!” Virgil huffed.

“Just…take care of yourself, okay?” he asked, his voice softening a bit, hints of real concern in his eyes. “You’ve been a little…uh, off, lately—“

“Off?” Patton’s stomach twisted.

“Not off,” he amended. “Just…tightly wound? And, y’know, I get why, but—“

“What?” He asked, panicked. If Virgil already knew…

Virgil looked abjectly confused, holding up his hands. “Just, y’know…” he lowered his voice a little bit. “The proposal?”

Oh. Yeah. That made more sense. It did nothing to ease his nerves, though.

“Right,” he choked out. Virgil stared at him for a long moment, his eyes searching his face. Finally, he looked away, sighing.

“All I wanted to say was that I want you to take care of yourself. It’s a vacation, and none of us want you to spend it working yourself to the bone for our sake.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Yeah, I know, Virge. Thanks.”

“‘Course,” he said resignedly, awkwardly tapping his fingers against the countertop. There was an uncertain air between them, and Patton did his best to ignore it. He couldn’t have Virgil worrying about him—he wouldn’t have it. Otherwise, what was this whole charade even for?

He helped Virgil unpack the rest of the food, trying his best to diffuse the tension between them. He couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief when Virgil finally retreated into his room, resting his face in his hands.

He shouldn’t have come here. He should have pretended he had the flu, or told them that his apartment was robbed, or that his dog had gotten into chemical waste and was now a mutant wreaking havoc on the city, or—or something.

But then, that wouldn’t have really done anything—the others would have just rescheduled the trip for him, and then he’d have felt doubly bad.

He glanced at the clock, blinking green above the oven, sighed, and uncorked a bottle of wine.

Whatever happened tonight, at least he wouldn’t be sober for it.

~

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