#incorrect yandere quotes

[kiame-sama]

Fem!Reader: Fuck it.

Yan!Lilia: I thought the term was "fuck you"

Fem!Reader: Fuck me yourself, you coward. *Saunters away*

Sebek: How dare-?!

Yan!Lilia: *loosens his tie* boys, I expect you all to honor and respect your new mother figure. *Chases after reader*

Silver/Sebek/Malleus: eh??

[yandereloveraw]

Sarah/YG: Hey, sweetheart.

Me: Huh?

Sarah/YG: Um...I..I can't live without you!

Me: Wh-

Sarah/YG: For your sake, I...can kill Peter.

[I gasp and take an unsteady step back]

Sarah/YG, creeping closer with a lovestruck expression: Hey, sweetheart. We can kill my annoying brother together. 🩷

Source: Oreimo

YG/Sarah belongs to @invertedmindinc and @y0urb0yfriend

[superbat-love]

Diana: I think I might be attracted to this guy, you know? He just seems like a good family man.

Clark: There’s nothing more attractive than a man who is protective of his family.

Diana: [nudges him playfully] Is that what attracted you to Bruce?

Clark: Of course! One time, I walked into the cafeteria, and suddenly the whole room turned red. Out of nowhere, Bruce came charging in, bodyslammed me to the ground, and kept yelling, “Stay away from my son!”

Diana:

Clark: We rolled around on the floor for a bit until some people managed to pull him off me. Turns out he thought Dick and I were dating. Luckily, the misunderstanding was cleared up once Bruce was trapped in a Lantern ring construct, and I finally had a chance to explain everything to him. Good times.

Diana: …Wow.

Clark: That was the moment I realized just how protective Bruce is of his family. And honestly, it made me admire him even more.

Diana: Maybe we need to reevaluate our attraction to “protective family men.”

[acid-ixx]

Dick: let’s go to your favorite restaurant <3

You: oh no, he wants to poison me… what did I do this time…

… is us in a nutshell 😭 my boy messed up big time

— masterlist !

dick, excited and holding you (hostage) in his lap, nuzzling into your neck: c'mon baby bird! let's eat in your favorite restaurant, just us two! it'll be fun and it's my treat too <3

you, panicking, sweating and trying to push him away, in your mind: 'this is all a ruse. he's gonna kill me. oh my god, what do i do? do i jump? do i punch him? no, no, no, what if i spill boiling, hot water on his face? no, that's a death wish. what did i do wrong, what do i do now?!'

dick, looks up at you sitting in his lap, grins when your eyes meet his (stupidly) baby blue ones. his hold on you only becomes tighter: you're so adorable, i could eat you up—

you: OH NO, SO I'M THE MAIN COURSE! HE'S GONNA EAT ME ALIVE—!

dick, panics at your statement and almost drops you on the floor: BABY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

[luv-lock]

Damian: "Father, who was the worst Batgirl?"

Bruce: "...I’m not answering that."

Tim: "It’s typically Y/N."

Silver!Y/N: "Oh? Do tell, Timothy."

Tim: "You were reckless, physically weak, emotional, always got Bruce and Jason into trouble, and you killed someone once."

Silver!Y/N: "..."

Silver!Y/N: "Tim?"

Tim: "Yeah?"

Silver!Y/N: "Do you know why Bruce always call me to interrogate bad guys?"

Tim: "Uh…"

Silver!Y/N: "I’m a doctor. I know what to cut and break to make people wish they were dead without actually dying. It’s art, really."

Tim: "..."

Silver!Y/N: "Does anyone else have something to say about me?"

Jason: "Nah, Tim’s got a point. You were weak."

Silver!Y/N: "Oh, sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me dragging your unconscious body out of a burning warehouse."

Jason: "That was ONE time—"

Silver!Y/N: "And who got stabbed because he was too busy yelling at a thug instead of looking behind him? Hmm? Oh right, you."

Jason: "Whatever..."

[nosyrobin]

Y/N: My ex is crazy, y'all. I've had him blocked on everything for weeks and yet he still manages to find ways to contact me.

Y/N: *turns camera to microwave* Bro this what i'm talking about look. He’s calling me on my microwave how was that even…. I didn't know microwaves could do- How is he doing that?

Y/N: That actually impressive you go girl.

[yandereunsolved]

Yandere Bruce Wayne: "Mine." holds darling close to his chest.

Clark Kent: "A human being is not an—" looks at darling.

Yandere Clark Kent: "Mine, not yours."

[steor-ra]

Jason: you think you could make me fold just by being stupid and cooing disgusting spit bubbles?

Jason: well you're...!

Baby!Y/n babbling and cooing at bigbro jayjay while making grabby hands at him. Trying to reach his face and puckering her lips: hmmh

Jason: –So so right! AWE BABY! *smashes his cheek to theirs and proceeds to rub against it*

Meanwhile Tim is sipping coffee in his room as he watches from the camera the newfound blackmail for his jerk of a brother

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I just imagined if batchild who favored Tim being Bruce bio-child. Damian so jealous and angry because his blood sibling chose Drake over him? This is too personal. Poor Tim will not have peace. I can imagine Damian trying to prove himself to his little sibling.

But the question is, does Damian even really give a flying fuck about this kid? Or does he just hate Tim and wants to destroy any ounce of happiness this boy has? Questions. Questions. Questions. lol.

Idk I love Damian being a little shit,,, he's something a little silly

Yes, Damian will terrorize Tim over this. He has such bad emotional regulation and he doesn't fully understand why he's so angry. He doesn't particularly like children and all their crying and babbling..they're stupid and useless...

But it peeves him so much seeing Tim take on such a prominent older brother role in their life. Tim is tainting the kid, he's not teaching them properly. A child should be held this way, it should be taught this, you need to do this. That is what his mother did to ensure his proper development so it must be right!

I can just imagine Damian cringing at all the baby talk and stupid games Tim plays with them. At first he's such a hate watcher of them. He'll be in the corner of the room, glaring daggers into them. "hmph they're perfect for each other. Dumb and even dumber. Guess which is which..." He snickers in his mind

Then he resorts to insulting Tim and micro-managing him. His baby siblings doesn't need to play with rattles, they need to be doing more intensive activities....Ughh.. They're being so stunned right now.

Then...slowly when no one is watching, he might speak to it. He doesn't get down on the floor with his sibling, he's just looking down at 'em and low-key shit talking. They piss him off so much but still he's at a lost for why?? Why does he seem to care about them and their upbringing so much when he hates them?

It isn't until Tim leaves for a mission or something when Damian *attempts* to hold and play with batchild. The child just looked so pitiful that he felt compelled to entertain them. Batchild starts to unexpectedly grow on him...eventually he starts kind of...loving them...? He feels warm when they smile at him...and an intense passion to protect them...

He's shy about it but Damian is obsessed with that damn baby. He won't try to draw attention to it but that is his baby now.

He can't help but to feel so possessive over them too, he'll cross his arms and huff when someone picks them up...he's stealing them back after five minutess...

But here's where the issue arises, Damian finally is feeling super close with batchild and has created this secret bond that no one else understands. He's done this oath with them in a pillow fort and everything, he's confidently believes that he's the new favorite sibling.

"Okay, Now we will drink this grape juice as we are solidified as true bloods of the Wayne bloodline..."

*intense babbles and clapping*

"Yes, our superior lineage is something to celebrate."

But then Tim comes back and batchild completely forgets about Damian and rushes to Tim. Even refusing to be held by Damian later on. His heart is crushed and to him this is the ultimate betrayal.

If Tim didn't have peace before, he really won't have it now. Like Damian wants to duel over this, it's that serious to him.

The pure venom that Damian spews is so fucked up that I cannot even repeat it. Like Tim is worried for his safety at this point.

Damien would definitely steal batchild out of their crib at night and take them into one of the unused rooms in another wing of the manor. It's fully decorated with tons of things batchild loves, all necessities...even has tons of snacks and a fridge with goodies. Damian is fully prepared to be the sole provider for this baby. lmaoo. He's hiding this kid out there for a good couple of hours before everyone realizes where the two of them are.

Damian is fighting hard to keep from them taking batchild...but is defeated when batchild sees Tim and goes

"Timmy!!" and tries running to him. It's so hilarious. Damian is at his wits end. He's never going to stop though until he's number one. Even if "Timmy" has to go.

Dami is the most un-serious-serious person on the planet.

[kiame-sama]

Darling: *immediately gives their name, says thank you, accepts all gifts, and happily eats the food given to them*

Yan!Malleus: *sweats in Fae*

[yandereloveraw]

My yandere shapeshifter self insert: I made sure that I can be whatever you want me to be. I can change anything about myself that you don't like, okay? Just let me know, and I can do that for you. ♡

[harmonysanreads]

Yan!Phainon : It seems like [Reader] is playing hard to get.

Yan!Phainon : Little do they know, I'm a master of being hard to get rid of.

[acid-ixx]

"how to become a target to the wayne family"

series masterlist

you, depressed and lonely, out of your mind laying on top of your apartment bed after a hard day of juggling multiple minimum wage jobs to pay their rent and dealing with 10 pending assignments:

you: *sighs* wish there's someone out there who loves me enough to take me somewhere far away to a place where i don't have to worry about the crippling weight of capitalism.

you, adding the next phrase to ward off your stalkers: AND I HOPE THOSE PEOPLE AREN'T MY FAMILY WHO ESTRANGED ME! they don't even count.

bruce wayne, "billionaire, not millionaire", popping out of the background as batman ignoring the last statement: your father would like to—

conner, totally not stalking you the entire day whilst planning your marriage despite not meeting you yet, right outside your apartment windows and talking to himself: don't even need to ask twice baby! we're getting married soon and everyone's invited except for your dumbass family!

tim drake, a building away from conner, spotting his best friend by the distance with his binoculars: WHY THE FUCK IS KON THERE, AND WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!

jason todd, preparing his weapons: he won't be there soon.

dick grayson, already seething in the background: who is HE to talk about MY baby bird who's not even at the right age for marrying yet!

damian wayne, for the first time in his life cooperating with jason, overhearing dick's rambles: do not forget to load it with kryptonite bullets, todd. and add grenades if ever the case the weapon's been compromised.

jason todd, nodding whilst he aims at kon's head: noted, kid.

*cue faint encouragement playing through the intercoms as steph, cass, babs and duke places bets on who could lay the first and the most hits on kon first; the winner can have your favorite jacket as their reward*

steph, with popcorn in her hands: yeah, it's definitely jason, look at him, all ready to mull him to death!

duke, munching on steph's popcorn: you kidding me? the little demon's about to aim his sword at the guy!

cass, whispering under her breath: it's actually dick...

barbara gordon, amused at the forming argument: wrong, all of you, tim's already out his way to de-clone his best friend.

you, unaware of the entire commotion outside of your apartment: *sneezing, from all the times your name gets mentioned* gee, no wonder why rent's abnormally lower this month, the air must've been polluted even more within this area—

[luv-lock]

Jason: you're killing my tough guy personality!

Y/n: who's a good boy?

Jason:...

Y/n:...

Jason: MEEEEE!!!! *jump on her lap*

[ironicallyyn]

Mc: hey Lucifer.. wanna see something funny?

Lucifer: ... Sure?

Mc: shout

Lucifer: (shouts... But nothing happens) ?

Mc: (shouts)

Mammon, Levi and Asmo barged into the room: I HEARD SHOUTING!! MC ARE YOU OKAY!!??

[yandereunsolved]

Parental figure reader accidentally collecting all of the pathetic meow meow yandere nobles—

Yandere Aemond: "It is good to speak with you again. I-I... uhm... would you like to brush and braid my hair again? I-I only ask because you were so fond of doing it the first time." awkwardly holding a brush in his hand and looking at you like a child eagerly waiting for the approval of their guardian.

Yandere Aegon: "Apologies, brother. As the king, I request that they join me in the garden so that we may go over... plans." Just wants to cuddle them and needs a coverup.

Yandere Lucerys: "They promised to teach me how to tie different sailor knots! You even said that we could go explore the harbor, some beaches, and other stuff!"

Yandere Helaena: "Our bugs? You said you would help me catalog all of my new bugs in our special notebook. There is no possible way for the ink to meet the page and create words otherwise. You are the keeper of the parchment. The one who can hold a quill with far more skill than I."

Yandere Jacaerys sitting in the chair next to reader having been possessively by their side the entire day. "If it so pleases them, they should stay here with me. They have had such an exhausting week, and the morrow will be even busier for them."

Yandere Baela and Rhaena are allowed to cling onto reader because Jacaerys doesn't want to seem jealous of them in front of you.