#tw ― internalized misogyny

[barbossas-wench]

As a bi girl, I'm sick of all this biphobia and internalized misogyny bullshit in some fandoms I've been in like this

[vlupshittous]

Anyone else have the experience as a nonbinary person where when you go from feeling Boy to feeling Girl, you worry people won't take you as seriously? For context, I'm AFAB, and I know this is definitely some internalized misogyny on my part, which I'm trying to work through. But I'm fighting myself on feeling more like a Girl cause I don't want to be treated like a Girl... which sucks... cause I AM a Girl.

[intersectionalpraxis]

This is the original thread that the Creator in the video is talking about (and I know this video is 8 minutes long but I highly recommend watching this video -⚠️ TW for discussions of violence and assault, and mentions of sexual assault). For folks who want to look into this themselves/the reason which prompted many discussions over on Twitter and TikTok:

I also wanted to share this post because this video recently went viral (and relates to what I wanted to talk about as well). It's a video of a Korean man during a street interview saying that went he thinks of the word 'Feminist,' it's "정신병." I'm only an intermediate level in Korean, and as he intended/as the translation says it means someone is not in their right mind, a literal 'psychosis.'

He also says this about misogyny:

I also wanted to include another person who replied to the original thread as well:

So a few weeks ago I noticed that many people were talking about how many radical Korean feminists in the 4B movement are transphobic, and I wanted to state that apart from it not always being the case, and if it is in some, there is a time in place to challenge the transphobic rhetoric evident in their praxis (as we already do for MANY western feminists).

What I find particularly troubling is that over the weeks/months as I saw this gain traction (and yes, people were rightfully calling out how western feminists/mainstream news media outlets were watering down/misconstruing/sensationalizing the 4B movement without reflexivity) there was one particular influencer which the Creator in the video refers to who says the 4B movement is not as big or important in Korea as it is being made out to be (one I did see weeks ago, and hesitated to talk about, but I think it's important to address).

And before I discuss ultimately what I wanted to here, I want to note that of course, there are absolutely many women in the country who want to marry/have kids, just like there are all around the world despite living/navigating in patriarchal and misogynistic cultures. No one is saying that there aren't Korean women interested in dating/marrying. Nor am I or anyone else saying all Korean men are red flags -that is not the case.

As this Creator noted in reaction to that person I'm referring to (OP who said most Korean women in their 20s/30s are actively seeking marriage partners), is that the Creator actually spoke to the person who made the original thread on Twitter. The Korean feminist spoke about the intricacies of this movement and often the difficulties of being publicly feminist -as well as the divided factions in feminism because not all identify as radical feminists.

The Korean feminist that the TikTok Creator spoke to said it is inaccurate to say 4B isn't popular, and despite not being able to have clear numbers on those women involved -they guesstimate it to be around 200,000. She talks about what Korean women have to go through and continue to go through in their country (such as the epidemic of femicide), and the severe consequences for labeling/identifying as a feminist, as the Creator noted and spoke about this thread which can include assault/violence, social isolation and stigma, and even loss of employment.

I wanted to share this video to once again share my solidarity for Korean feminists and women - for their fights towards liberation in many elements of their lives, and that for any and all people in western/european countries that are romanticizing South Korea -especially Korean men, please stop -please unpack your preconceptions. These are real people, just like everywhere else in the world, that are dealing with systemic injustices -and like many countries around the world, South Korea is not an exception (and that Korean men in the viral video I attached above DO think feminism is evil and toxic -and I highly encourage people to do their research why it is a stigma exists -if anyone wants me to briefly address this I can create another post). But to emphasize here, as this video alludes to -there are many Korean men that weaponize this hatred and internalized misogyny in multiple ways, and it's important to not forget talking about because it effects many people in their communities.

[breathetoseethetruth]

I will never get over the fact, that one argument of D*pp supporters unironically is: "She doesn't look battered enough."

When exactly is a woman "battered enough" for you all?

This goes hand in hand with misogynistic men saying, that women should just endure it and stay, until their life is in active danger.

This goes hand in hand with people's subconscious idea, that only a dead victim is a perfect victim, because if she can still breathe, then she can still lie.

People saw Amber's injuries and deemed them not good enough, not severe enough, not "realistic looking enough" and somehow came to the conclusion that therefore, they must have been painted on.

We live in a day and age, where millions of people decided that it's believable that an abused woman painted on injuries, and do not care what a precedent this will set for possibly millions more women (at worst, they blame her for it). They chose to believe this insanity, rather than that a man simply did lay his hand on her. They excuse and ignore one piece of damning evidence after another against this man, but will scrutinize the tiniest flinch on the woman's face.

And yet, men have the audacity to claim that people are after them. That there's an "epidemic of men being falsely accused". They will use this against EVERY woman who will dare to name her abuser.

And so many of you enabled them.

[thisismisogynoir]

Feel like reminding people who insist on calling trans women and girls “dude” and “bro” as “gender neutral” terms that we live in a patriarchal society where men are seen as the default and that’s the only reason those SPECIFICALLY MALE words take on a gender neutral connotation, in addition to the fact that women are seen as lesser and so calling a man a female term is seen as “degrading”. Ik Tumblr tends to forget this with how much you love to call your male blorbos “baby girl” but yeah that’s how it is in this world. I don’t see y’all out here calling trans dudes sis or girlypop nearly as much but when it comes to trans women and their boundaries suddenly everybody and their mama wants to argue.

[thebusylilbee]

I think the expression "patriarcal terrorism" is a very good one for the unfortunately way too common cases of serial rapes and mass rapes done by men

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 3

Chapter 3 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, Eddie tries to be home, but it is difficult. He and Shannon are trying to figure stuff out and he’s becoming more comfortable with the idea of Evan maybe one day becoming Chris’s stepparent if things between him and Shannon get serious. Then Shannon leaves and Eddie is forced to meet Evan for the first time.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slowburn), Buck x Shannon (temporarily).

Warnings: ableism, emotionally abusive parents, internalized misogyny, insecurity, child abandonment

~~~

Chapter 3: Two Worlds Colliding

Eddie has been back in town for two months and Evan hasn’t seen a singular sign of him. Not that he expected to see him, but it’s still weird.

He half expects him to turn up the day after Shannon came by, since she said she was going by the next day to pick up Chris to go to his PT. Maybe it’s egotistical to think he’d be mentioned immediately, but he knows that the ex-in-laws heard about him talking to Shannon and that they have opinions about it. Shannon complained all about it. So, it isn’t too far fetched that Eddie will hear and have opinions too. Opinions that he’ll show like a soldier.

However, Eddie doesn’t come. Weeks pass and Evan doesn’t see or hear from him. He doesn’t know whether he’s glad or a little offended.

It’s not that he wants to get beat up by a soldier over an affair that never happened, but he watched his son. Chris calls him a friend. He expected the guy to at least want to come see who he is, but maybe that is too much to ask.

God knows his own father wouldn’t have cared, but with how Shannon described him, Evan hadn’t thought Eddie would be like his father. He hopes for Chris’s sake that he isn’t.

He pushes a little with Shannon when she comes by, asking how Eddie is doing, if Chris is happy that daddy’s home. According to her, Chris is thrilled and Eddie is trying, which is good, but she mostly waves it away. Evan gets not wanting to talk about her ex-husband, still he wishes he knew some more.

With Eddie home, Chris isn’t around as often, since she can leave him with his father. They flirt, then fuck, but it doesn’t make Evan feel as good as he hoped.

She doesn’t stick around, says she can’t, because she has to be with Chris before Eddie leaves for work. He doesn’t blame her, but a part of him still aches that she goes. She isn’t married to Eddie, but he still feels like the other man. The one outside the family unit, never entirely a part of it, but still strung along. It feels too close to home for comfort.

Shannon looks apologetic and she comes back, but doing it again isn’t making it better. Evan is contemplating moving on.

He has some money now, he could fill his tank and leave. But it feels wrong to leave Shannon without anyone in her corner. He already felt like that before Eddie got back, but from what he hears the ex-in-laws have only gotten worse.

One day, Chris is with his grandparents, Eddie is working and Shannon is here. It’s evening, closer to night, and they’re sitting on the front porch together. Softly she says: “Some days I wonder why I still try to be his mother.”

“What?” Evan chokes out, giving her wide eyes.

She doesn’t look back at him, keeps staring out over the dark farm. “I mean, he has his father now, a parent, and Helena is dying to take him from me and raise him herself. He has people. I’m only twenty-three, I should be out there, traveling, seeing the world, studying. Not this.”

“You don’t mean that,” Evan hears himself say, because he wants it to be true. He doesn’t want to believe she actually thinks that. If he had a family, a kid, he’d be holding on as tight as he could. He would never abandon his kid, should he be lucky enough to have one.

“Probably not, it just all got to me, I guess,” Shannon says with a tired smile and he can see she doesn’t put her heart in it.

Still, he doesn’t push, just tries to be supportive. It’s not his place. Not his kid. “I get it. It must suck to have people undermine your parenting so much. You should bring him here again, I won’t question you.”

“You’re too nice, Evan,” she tells him and he isn’t sure it’s a compliment.

She brings Chris again and Evan holds his little hands as he walks, while Shannon trails behind them. She seems distant, but doesn’t talk when he asks about it. She never mentions it again. Later he’ll look back and regret not pushing more.

Eddie has meanwhile found a job and semi-moved into his house, though he sleeps on his own couch. He has a morning routine with Chris now, because he works nights so Shannon has a nighttime routine. He knows Chris can walk if you hold him and picking him up won’t harm him like his mom said, that her insistence that he carries Chris everywhere is actually bad for his development.

Chris knows who he is, the novelty of daddy being home is slowly starting to fade into the normalcy of daddy being home.

It still thrills Eddie however, when Chris calls out for daddy, for him. The picture he’s drawn of the three of them is Eddie’s most prized possession.

Of course it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. He and Shannon have reached a peace, but are easy to argue and he can’t sleep on the couch forever. They need a plan for when either of them will move out. His mom wants it to be Shannon, since its Eddie’s house in name, but she also wants Eddie and Chris to move in with her.

Papi is out on the road again and she can use a man of the house, but Eddie suspects it’s more because she doesn’t trust Shannon. She’s gotten more mean, he barely got her to stop doing it in front of Chris, praying he doesn’t repeat anything or start believing it. He wants his son to have a mother.

Helena also doesn’t trust him. He has gotten her to stop calling Chris fragile and now she uses special, something he has a harder time arguing against. And she clearly still believes it, even if she doesn’t use the word. She always says he’s too rough with Chris, that he’s doing it wrong. It’s draining.

Evan is another thing. Shannon doesn’t take Chris with her when she goes to see him and Eddie suspects that the friendship has moved on to sleeping together. He isn’t even jealous of anyone sleeping with his ex-wife, just worries about what it means if it gets more serious.

As he said, she doesn’t take Chris with her anymore and Chris pouts about it. The one time she did take him, he was ecstatic. Eddie isn’t sure what to think.

If Shannon and Evan get serious, then it will become a thing they have to talk about. Evan won’t just be with Shannon, he’ll become a part of Chris’s life. Is he willing to do that? Is it Shannon or him, who decided to bring Chris over less now that Eddie is here to watch him? Can he bring that up without Shannon taking it the wrong way? Is it too soon to worry?

He doesn’t have any answers and no one to ask either. He wishes Abuela and tía Pepa didn’t live in LA. That he could flee to their house and talk about it. But they do live in LA and he doesn’t want to bother them with his troubles, he is a Diaz man, he should just suck it up.

In his third month home, Shannon sits him down and says they should think seriously about splitting assets. Figure out their finances. It’s not something they fully got around to when he was off fighting, they just signed the papers.

So, they have to shuffle around their work schedule to get in the meetings necessary to sort it all out with lawyers and advisors. Another non-fun thing that comes with being home.

The first two times his mom watches Chris, the third time Shannon insists Evan watches him. Eddie doesn’t want to, but doesn’t want to be petty. They’ve been fighting a lot in the house over the finances and Chris is starting to get upset. He doesn’t want to add to that, so he lets her, though he doesn’t want to have anything to do with drop off or pick up.

Shannon agrees easily with his terms and Eddie is loathe to admit that it is quite nice not to get grilled, then berated about all his choices every time they come back from a harrowing meeting.

Evan becomes their usual sitter.

Eddie tries to get Shannon to pay him for it, feeling kind of bad about dropping his kid on the guy so often, but Shannon brings back the message that he refused the money, because it’s not work to hang out with his friend. Eddie doesn’t feel great about that statement, but he supposes that if Evan is to ever become a stepparent, they can’t pay him for it.

All in all, it’s awkward to talk about all their stuff and the money; how little they have of it, how many bills they have to pay with it. But it’s good. Getting clarity is good. Things are looking up a bit.

Naturally that means that a month and a half into figuring it all out, Eddie’s life implodes all over again.

He comes home from his shift and the house is empty. It’s not normal, but not unusual either. Her job sometimes requires Shannon to come in earlier and then she drops Chris off with his grandma for Eddie to come pick up when he slept for a bit, instead of doing the morning routine before napping as Chris plays.

So, he stumbles in and crashes on the couch, sleeping for an hour or two. He’ll sleep more later, intermitted sleeping has become his norm. He’s heard being tired comes with being a parent, so he is embracing it. Still, he sleeps better when he can hear Chris moving around, so he wants to go get his boy.

It’s when he sits up that he spots the packet of paper sitting on the table. It’s official looking and there’s a note and a letter on top, Chris’s name is written on the envelope in Shannon’s handwriting and something about it makes Eddie’s stomach churn.

His hands are shaking when he reaches out to the papers, he doesn’t know when they started doing that. It takes his eyes a moment to focus on the letters enough to make out what they say, then a moment longer to comprehend what he is reading.

Custody.

It’s custody papers.

Shannon gave him full custody of Chris.

She left him much like he had done with her and Eddie is now solely responsible for their child. His breaths start coming fast and it takes him much longer than he wants it to, to calm himself again.

There is a short note for him where she explains that her mom is sick, cancer. That she has gone to take care of her and to not try to contact her. That Chris has him and his grandparents now and they’ll be fine. She left him with Evan.

Wait, she left him with Evan?

Eddie hasn’t explicitly thought about it, but he kind of assumed that if Shannon left, she’d take Evan with her. However, that clearly isn’t the case. Why is Evan watching his kid and not chasing after his ex-wife? Did he know? Did she tell him?

He needs more answers, right now. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s stumbling out of the house, scrambling to get into his truck so he can speed over to the Johnson farm.

Oblivious to all this, Evan is playing with Chris, the two of them rolling a ball back and forth on the front porch as Mrs. Johnson looks disapprovingly from the front window. She never liked him associating with Shannon and she likes him watching Chris even less. But Shannon said it was an emergency and Evan isn’t going to leave her out to dry like that. She’s his girlfriend. He thinks.

A truck pulls up a little faster than normal and a man stumbles out calling out for Chris. Evan has never seen him before, so he gets to his feet and squares his shoulder, blocking the path as he demands: “Who are you?”

Under other circumstances, Eddie would’ve appreciate the protectiveness over his son more, but now a brief, ‘oh he’s handsome, I see what Shannon saw in him,’ flashes through his mind, before it is quickly buried under what is happening today. “I’m his father. Eddie.”

Evan falters at that. After so long, he never thought he’d actually meet Eddie, but now here he is and Evan has his kid and he isn’t even sure if it is Eddie, because he has never even seen the man before.

Almost as if reading his mind, Chris spots Eddie and cheers: “Daddy!”

Hearing Chris be okay, just his happy self soothes something in his chest and he is grateful when Evan moves out of the way so he can go over and scoop Chris up. “Hey, mijo, hey,” he greets, hugging Chris tight and burying his face in his hair, letting the scent calm him. It’s irrational, but he had feared Chris would be hurt, but he appears totally fine.

“Are you… are you okay?” tentatively Evan asks him that, coming closer as he watches father and son with a frown. Eddie is acting pretty strange, he looks worried.

“Did you know?” Eddie’s voice is harsher than he wants it to be when he asks that, sounding closer to how he’d talk in the field.

“Know what?” Evan replies, frowning in confusion.

Eddie isn’t sure if he believes it, but the man looks genuine and a bit like an over-sized puppy. It is kind of hard to be mad at him, but Eddie is also pretty good at being mad, so he says: “That she was going. Did you know?”

“Shannon?” Evan asks. “She said she had a family emergency, asked me to watch him for a bit until you got off work. He was still sleeping when she arrived, I assumed it was serious.”

“Nothing else?” Eddie says in disbelief. He was so sure that her and Evan were a thing, but she didn’t even say anything to him, didn’t ask him to come with her.

“Yeah, nothing else,” Evan confirms. “What’s going on, man?”

Instinctively Eddie looks away, cradling Chris closer. Now that he knows Chris is okay, that Shannon isn’t hiding out here, he doesn’t really know where to go from here. He feels embarrassed about being left like that, as if he wasn’t good enough to make sure to mother of his child stayed in his life, just like he couldn’t keep his wife.

He’s a teen dad, a divorcee and now a single parent to boot. The Church will have a field day with this when they find out, not to mention his parents. Fuck, what will his parents think?

Irrationally, he thinks, they can never know. They can’t. They can’t learn how much he screwed up all over again. Shannon told him not to contact her, but that doesn’t mean she blocked him, maybe if he can reach her, he can convince her to stay. To come back.

Without answering Evan’s question, he puts down Chris and fumbles for his phone, calling Shannon. The call doesn’t go through. The panic only grows and he snaps back to Evan, who is just standing there, watching him with those big blue concerned eyes. His skin feels weird under that gaze and he shoves it all down, demanding: “When did she drop him off?”

“Like four hours ago,” Evan answers. Fuck, that is long enough to already be on a plane by now and he’s never catching up with her by car. He doesn’t even know where in LA her mom lives, he’ll never be able to find her in that city. When he’s quiet, Evan worries on: “Why? What’s going on? Did something happen to her?”

To her, of course, Eddie scoffs, of course something must have happened to her, because there is no way she’d leave otherwise. No, Eddie must have done something wrong. Something to make her leave. He’s a failure, always has been.

Without his permission tears well up in his eyes as the anger gets replaced by a deep despair. He’s all alone now. Chris still counts on him, still needs him. He can’t find Shannon, so it’s all on him now. At some point, he’ll have to tell his parents, but that seems like a Herculean task right now. It’s all too overwhelming. Too much.

“Eddie?” Evan asks, watching this beautiful man crumble from indignation and anger into this hopelessness. It doesn’t look right on him and Evan wants to help, but he doesn’t even know what’s going on.

At his name, Eddie looks up, meeting those eyes. Evan has no business knowing what’s happening in Eddie’s family, but- but he looked after Chris and he’s here and not judging him or demanding anything, he’s just concerned. And Eddie really needs to talk about this with someone, to feel like there is someone in his corner and he’s not all alone.

He chokes out: “Her family emergency is in LA. There were custody papers on the table this morning. She’s gone.”

Evan’s eyes grow wide as he processes Eddie’s words. Shannon left. For LA. And she isn’t planning on coming back. It hurts to be left like that after nearly ten months of flirting and four months of sleeping together, but it’s familiar. Something he’s used to. He just can’t wrap his head around the fact that she’d leave her child. Her child. Someone as amazing as Chris.

Thoughts whirl around in his head, but he only manages to choke out: “Holy shit, dude, that fucking sucks.”

Eddie lets out a laugh, though it sounds more like a sob as he gives a watery smile and nods: “Yeah, it does fucking suck.”

“Fucking,” Chris loudly declares, repeating the new word he heard as he climbs to his feet.

Both Eddie’s and Evan’s eyes grow wide as they give each other a shocked stare. It’s Eddie who breaks first, the absurdity of the whole thing getting to him as he breaks down in laughter, Evan following after him and Chris joining in, because Chris always laughs along with anyone, feeding on the happy energy.

Once they’ve calmed themselves down and Chris has wandered off, Evan clears his throat and his voice becomes serious: “But really, man, that is terrible. I can’t believe she’d do that.”

“Me neither,” Eddie sighs, the reality hitting him all over again as he watches Chris, who is now practicing with his crutches by chasing a butterfly, who is definitely winning the race. He looks so happy, so carefree. Eddie doesn’t know how he’s going to explain to him that mommy isn’t coming home.

Evan follows Eddie’s gaze and his heart breaks for Chris, who will grow up without a mother, feeling abandoned. He knows what it’s like to feel unwanted by parents and he doesn’t wish it on any child.

Fortunately, it seems that Eddie isn’t planning on making him feel that way. The poor man might look like he’s about to kneel over from the stress or break down crying, but he’s keeping it together surprisingly well.

Evan’s heart also breaks for him a little. He doesn’t know if the ex-in-laws – or Eddie’s parents, he should probably refer to them as Eddie’s parents – are as judgy towards him as they are, or were, to Shannon, but raising a kid by himself with that as background noise? That can’t be easy.

“Do you- do you wanna talk about it?” he offers. It feels a little stupid to offer it, Eddie hasn’t wanted anything to do with him for the entire time he’s been home, he doubts he’d want to talk with the ex-boyfriend? situationship? of his ex-wife that just abandoned him and his kid about her abandoning them.

However, Eddie surprises him by softly saying: “Yes, please. If you don’t mind.”

Eddie can see that Evan is taken aback by his answer and he almost backtracks, but before he can, a smile breaks out on Evan’s face and he says: “You can tell me all about it while we feed the chickens then. I’d offer you a coffee, but Mrs. Johnson scares me a little and I can feel her judgy eyes in the back of my neck.”

The comment makes Eddie laugh again. It’s strange how easily Evan makes him laugh, Eddie has always had a hard time getting along with people, but Evan is easy to get along with. Despite what led him here, he finds himself not feeling as filled with dread as he’d thought. “Yeah, Mrs. Johnson scares me too. Lead the way.”

“Gladly,” Evan grins, going to grab the chicken feed. As he returns he calls out to Chris: “Hey Chris, I’m gonna go feed the chickies, do you wanna go say hi to them?”

“I do, I do,” Chris cheers and Evan can feel how he smiles in return automatically.

“Well, come over here then, buddy,” Evan calls back. “Or do you need me to come get you?”

“I can do it,” Chris says determinedly, starting to come their way. “Daddy say hi too? Hi to the chickies?”

It’s only when Chris asks that, that he realizes Eddie is right there and embarrassment floods through him as he stutters: “If- if that’s okay with you, of course. I am so sorry for just pushing in your space like that. Shannon- uhm, Shannon never minded if I kinda did that when they were here, but I totally should’ve asked.”

Eddie is staring at him with wide eyes, not saying anything. He has never seen anyone act with Chris like that before, so casually and respectful. There is no pity in his eyes when he looks at Chris and he doesn’t think Chris can’t do it by himself. He lets him have the choice and actually lets him do what he wants when he makes it.

Then his words and the expression on his face register and Eddie says: “No, no, don’t worry, you’re perfect.” He blushes and quickly amends: “I mean, you did perfectly fine.”

“Are you sure?” Evan asks, face red. He’s probably embarrassed, because Eddie is apparently incapable of being normal. God, he is a mess. Today is a mess.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Usually people are more hands on with Chris. They baby him. It’s nice to see someone not do that, took me by surprise,” Eddie answers, rubbing the back of his head.

“Oh yeah, Shannon told me about her ex-in-laws,” Evan nods in sympathy, before remembering that Shannon’s ex-in-laws are Eddie’s parents, therefore it might not have been the smartest thing to say. Then he also remembers that Shannon left and that’s why they’re even talking to each other, so reminding him of her might not be the smartest either. “Oh my god, I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, not like she’s wrong,” Eddie sighs. “I had to fight my mom to get her to stop calling Chris fragile. Shan has been getting the brunt of it. Just didn’t think it’d drive her away.”

He startles slightly at the comforting hand on his shoulder and is surprised to find he misses it when Evan pulls back at his reaction. Though, Evan doesn’t let his reaction stop him for saying: “Hey, don’t do that yourself, man. You didn’t control that and it’s a sh- silly thing she did that.”

With the correction, Eddie easily spots Chris, who has caught up with them. Evan is trying to prevent another ‘fucking’ incident and it’s strangely endearing.

“Hey, mijo,” Eddie smiles carding a hand through his curls. “Do you say hi the chickens often?”

“All the time,” Chris informs him happily. “I like chickies. Chickies are nice. Eggs are nice too. And chickies give us the eggs.”

“They sure do,” Eddie says warmly, charmed by Chris’s love for the chickens. Lord knows he has fed him plenty of eggs in the mornings. He looks at Evan, finding himself in a familiar situation of not really knowing what’s happening with his kid and having to ask another adult. It feels a little bitter as he asks: “So, how does this usually go?”

“How do you want it to go?” Evan shoots back, surprising him once more. He shrugs: “I have a routine with Shannon, but you’re his dad. He can explore on his own, he’s no stranger. He might plop down somewhere, but that’s fine. The chickens know him. But if you want he can hang around here with us, though that might not be the best if you still wanna talk. So, it’s up to you.”

Again, Eddie can’t help but stare at Evan, who so easily trusts him to be Chris’s dad and doesn’t take over, assuming he knows best, even though they’re on his turf. It’s hard to believe that Evan is more of a surprise today than he had been his first day back home, but he is.

Before it can get weird again, Eddie shakes it off. He clears his throat and turns to Chris. “You can go play with the chickens, but you have to stay where I can see you, okay?”

“Okay,” Chris agrees with a big smile, before scampering off inside when Evan opens the doors for them.

Once Chris is occupying himself, Evan starts to feed the chickens as he says: “Okay, so I’ve heard quite a bit from Shannon’s side, but you can tell me your side or just what your feeling, I guess. I used to be a bartender, so I like to think I’m a great listener.”

Eddie isn’t sure what to do with that, Diaz men don’t talk about their feelings. He just needs to talk to organize his thoughts. But Evan seems nice enough and willing to listen and he’s proven himself to not be judgmental, so Eddie is going to try and extend the same courtesy.

So, he doesn’t comment and starts talking.

~~

A/N:

Confession, it is me, who loves chickens, self indulgent to project that onto Chris, but it’s not like I’m wrong. Chickens are great (but cows are my favorite animals. I fucking love agriculture like a nerd).

Also, love Buck and Eddie becoming ride or die so fucking fast upon having one normal conversation lmao

[sapphic-agent]

A lot of katara hate really stems from misogyny (internal too) cause wtf is this

https://x.com/bambied_/status/1753880126029242427?s=46

Apparently that other girl's name is Hachi? Idk, I've never seen this show before nor do I understand what the tweet is saying (I can't see the replies because I don't have Twitter, thanks a fucking ton Elon). If someone can explain in the comments please educate me.

But it's definitely true that most Katara hate comes from misogyny, internalized misogyny especially. Most women who hate on her go absolutely crazy for Sokka or Zuko or Aang while excusing their actions and making Katara out to be worst than she is. Or they "prefer" Suki's feminism over Katara's (which is especially dumb because Suki never faced the level of misogyny that Katara did, she grew up on an island that celebrates the last female Avatar and reveres its female warriors while sexism was rooted into the Water Tribes' culture).

A great instance of how the fandom treats Katara vs the male characters is TSR. Everyone will go batshit insane over Katara saying, "Then you didn't love her like I did," but not one of them will bat an eye over Aang comparing her to Jet (someone who used and manipulated her) in that very same scene. Not to mention that she's right, Sokka himself admits that he started to picture Katara when he thought of his mother. He didn't feel Kya's absence as much (whereas Katara felt Hakoda's absence as much as he did) because Katara was around to take care of him while no one was taking care of her. He isn't as full of grief as Katara is because he had her there to support him. Katara was parentified and it started with Sokka and continued through Aang and Toph. One of the failings of ATLA was that this was never addressed (and was even perpetuated by the show).

As for what you linked? I'm assuming the post is making some weird comparison? One thing I can't stand about any fandom- whether it's comic books fans, anime fans, book fans, or whoever- is the need to compare female characters from different media. Like, I can't stand people who are all, "nAmI doEsN't gEt haTe LikE saKUrA." I don't even hate Sakura, but why are you bringing in an unrelated character? Just because they both happen to be women? Because the other Strawhats (especially Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji) hit Luffy just as much, so Nami being the one brought up is misogyny in and of itself (also, as a Luffy lover, he usually gets hit when he's giving away money or putting them in unnecessary danger, so he usually deserved it). We need to stop using women to put other women down (both real and fictional).

Now, if we're saying, "Hey, this female character was handled better than that female character," that's different. But 9 times out of 10, that isn't the case

[pleasantspark]

Forever & Ever - Chapter One (Cold Cold Heart) Frieza x Fem! Frieza Race OC Genre: Horror/Romance(?) Tropes: Yandere Part of The F&E Series Warnings: Possessiveness, Frieza (Because he's a whole ass warning in of itself), Sexism, Forced Gender Roles, Misogyny, Internalized Misogyny, Stalking, Implied Offscreen Death, Death, Yandere Behavior, Canon Divergent, Impossible Logic, DBZ Logic, Forced Pregnancy (Offscreen), Abusive Relationships, Gaslighting, Toxicity AUs Utilized: Frieza Redemption Arc AU (Separate Arc, a COMPLETE different whatif) Frieza Race Overhaul Doc Used! Please check for it here: x

In her days of being on the run, Orion could have not guessed what she gotten herself into. She's been on the run from various planets starting when she saw the fearsome Frieza arrive on Old Namek. Morri told her about the danger that was going to happen and he allowed her to take a group of Namekians to flee the planet, and since then. She believed she was being watched.

Orion was born a Female Frieza Race, the last of her kind. She was sent away in a Pod that crash landed on Old Namek after her parents failed to send her to Earth and Morri decided to keep her around. She was pretty for her Race, unlike the traditional males of the Frieza Race, you can tell pretty well she was a female.

The two Namekians she was assigned bodygaurds had acted like her protectors. They travelled across the galaxies trying to find a place to accommodate themselves. But she couldn't shake off the feeling that she was being watched... By someone...

That feeling only got worse as she arrived on Earth, the pod door opened and the Two Namekians that were assigned to her immediately fell on the floor for her to walk on them. She shook her head.

"You don't need to do that, Vio and Mint." She said, to the Namekians.

"It's what we're here for." Vio gruffs, and got up, Mint following after.

"Where are we?" Orion asked.

"Earth." Mint comments. Using his scouter to show a hologram of Earth. "The main inhabitants are creatures known as Humans or Earthlings."

Orion inspects the image and hums. "What does this Earth do, I concur?" She asked.

"...We shall find out." Mint then stops the Hologram and turned to the taller Namekian.

"Should we proceed to assess the area in case of any potential threats?" Mint asked.

"We are tasked to do so, lets. Miss Orion stay here." Vio said.

"Of course." Orion said. She watched as Vio and Mint went to check for any signs of danger, while Orion watched the landscape. It was pretty peaceful. But... The area was... Oddly quiet. She felt uneasy. She wanted to bolt out and find Mint and Vio. But she was told to stay put.

Eventually, minutes passed, and they hadn't returned, so she got away from the pod. And began to walk, before she knew it. She felt a cloth wrap her nose and mouth and she saw what seemed to be someone's manicured fingers clench around the cloth. She struggles and shushing was heard.

"Shh, shh. Be a doll and don't make this any harder, I don't want to clip a nail." A voice said.

Orion eventually went limp in the person's arms and her eyes fluttered.

In all of his years, the fearsome Frieza has been without a partner. He had no need for something trivial as that. He had done well without someone to bother him.

But... As the years passed and as the days passed and the seasons changed. He's gotten word on a... anomaly. A new development if you will. It was a... Female of his race? His father always told him the females have been dead for centuries and he had no hopes of extending the Frieza Races Genetics, and as King Cold died, he was left with the sinking despair of his species dying out due to the lack of females.

That is, until one of his spies found a Female Frieza Race on Old Namek and had followed them around so he had the grunt place a tracker on the Pod traveling through space. This led to the discovery of the female and her... Bodygaurds. So he devised a plan, a plan to take the female and finally make more of his species.

The female arrived to Earth and he took note that she was left behind, he ordered Zarbon to come and take her away. So here she was. Laying unconscious in a chair, tied to it. What a waste... A Waste of so many years. Just to find out the only female of his race was here the entire time. She was even more beautiful up close, he placed a hand under her chin and looked at her closely. Her eyes fluttered open and upon seeing Frieza she screams. She attempted to kick him away and Frieza looked unamused.

"Now, that's no way to treat your future mate." He would say, crossing his arms in disapproval. She blinked at him, looking around frantically.

"Where am I?" She asked.

"You're in your new home. Where else did you think you were at?" Sneered Frieza who was in his First Form, Orion squirmed and looked down.

"Please let me go... I need to go back to Vio and Mint..." Orion begs.

"No, how about this? You do realize how important you are, right?" Frieza asked, getting close to her face, "You're... The last of our race, a female. And as the only female of our Race, you are to provide me, and our entire race, a new lineage. That's all your good for... Breeding, and providing me a outlet for my desires."

Orion's eyes widened and she squirmed away. "What?! Are you nuts!? I don't want that!"

Frieza was getting frustrated, he was used to getting what he wants. And here she was, defying his wishes, usually when lower ranking soldiers defied him, he kills them on the spot. The only exception would be Zarbon and Dodoria, but he cannot kill Orion as she was the only female of his race left.

He stomped his foot, and growled. "You're being absolutely bratty! You're not giving into what I want! And as your superior I demand you to give me what I want!" Frieza shouts.

Orion felt uncomfortable.

"And if I want you to bear my children, you'll do as I say. And since I can't kill you, I can find other ways to ensure you listen, and if you don't... You'd wish you weren't born as a female in my own race."

>Next Chapter

[fairymint]

📖 What are we teaching our children? That they can just capture God in a tiny little ball? My word!

"Clearly, making friends is blasphemy. Only by praying and being a good little girl i mean boy and dying, can you meet god after having your dirty little soul melted through a cheese grater, painfully.

And if you can't see that god is up there and separate from us dirty plebs you're wrong. nevermind that i said he is in all of us everywhere and perfect, you need to follow the scripture instead of real life, real life is demons.

just shut up and eat your cornflakes until you grow into a barefoot and pregnant accountant who can take normal people holidays off. Fragment of god! impossible, god would never love you enough to hang out with you. Now smile at everyone you know, because god loves you!"

....He's not really amused. Or is he? The sarcasm is thick with this one... "What are you, five years old?"

"What is up, mine fellows??" Oh look, Arceus itself.

[armoralor]

if you’re choosing to support and standby someone who has made threats of violence & death, made light of rape, and called queer women pedophiles JUST because that person likes the same fictional ship as you- I hope you get better soon.

where is all that energy from a few weeks ago when people were condemning sapphics as alleged bullies? suddenly it’s okay to make actual death threats and be a white nationalist because you like the same cishet fictional couple. people were writing essays on their “mistreatment” at the hands of queer women last month, but those same people are STILL liking and commenting on the posts of incel men who OPENLY hate the LGBTQIA+ community.

[drew-dopamine]

not my silly ass hating myself for being a trans guy and feeling like I’m doomed to become a misogynist horrible person if I ever try to transition if I’m not already a misogynist horrible person because I’m a guy right now 😜😜😜😜😜

[intersectionalpraxis]

Before I took my first Feminist and Gender Studies course, I was already mindfully deconstructing and challenging mainstream mass media's representations of women's bodies and identities. As young as I can remember I was already cutting out advertisements in magazines and making art at 15, and making scrap books and art pieces at school on my own to protest the messages being consciously and subconsciously transmitted to young girls and women.

I wondered why I HAD to get married, why I HAD to have children, why I had to worry about what men thought of me constantly when I didn't need nor want male validation. Thinking I just 'wasn't ready" or 'hadn't met the right person yet' in high school, while deeply understanding I never really wanted either.

I didn't have a concept of feminist thought -only that feminist movements existed to 'give us the right to vote' (very superficially told that 'women have rights now because of how much women fought in the past' and this discourse both lacked reflexivity (feminism will always be relevant) and intersectionality and more).

I never learned about how institutionalized patriarchy hurts us all in many ways, nor did I know about internalized misogyny and the normalization of women being told to be complicit in their own dehumanization... no, I looked at the world around me and thought that there was a lot to be angered by -a lot to resist and question.

And sometimes we are unable to fully unpack so much without being introduced to 'theoretical tools,' but more often than not our learning/unlearning comes in waves and flows to every single one of us. And I find it wildly amusing that men -especially anonymous one's online reinforcing rape culture and misogyny, don't see themselves as part of the problem.

There would always be a desire for liberation. Feminist and women's movements gave us a language -gave us shape and named our oppression. I'm grateful for feminism. I'm glad I was able to make peace with so much in my life about gendered expectations and heteronormativity -but I am especially glad that I'm not like the people who see feminism as a poison -all those people are the real threats to so many of our lives -our safety, equality, equity, and liberation. There is a place to be critical of white feminism, of transphobia in feminist circles -of any form of hatred, but this... saying 'feminism is to blame' without introspecting is just beyond jarring and painfully ironic.

[powerin]

I wonder how would you compare and contrast Miguel's love interests and his treatment of them? Somehow, I get the feeling the third movie in the Spider-verse trilogy will take him to task for his treatment of women over the years.

this better not be bait. kidding, but there’s some dude who likes to victim-blame and slut-shame dana in my tumblr DMs and it is Very Tiring to ignore him. hope you understand if this reply comes off as combative. 💖

dana’s obviously my favorite. “the virtuous and beautiful whore who sacrificed herself for the one woman she didn’t like.” she will always be my One True Love.

but i wish dana was smarter, less naive, and wasn’t preyed on by tyler stone. i wish dana and gabe stayed together and she didn’t cheat on him (miguel was not worth it). i wish miguel didn’t call her “stupid, deaf, worthless” and throw plates at her. clearly their relationship deteriorated after miguel became Spider-Man (a toxic entitled egomaniac becoming a superhero is a Bad thing? pinch me im getting megamind flashbacks). but dana saying that miguel should leave his toxic company and that she didn’t want miguel to feel any more pain… it hurts me deeply.

especially since dana was right: miguel should leave alchemax. and miguel is the one who causes dana so much pain.

moving on, i should like xina because i am ALSO a brainy tomboyish chinese woman. plus she’s miguel’s childhood sweetheart.

but more to the point, xina’s NotLikeAllGirls internalized misogyny irritates the shit out of me, and she forcibly changed lyla’s personality so lyla would talk badly about dana. lyla even says some misogynistic homewrecker bullshit like “ruin any relationships today dana?” and then says right after, “im sorry… i don’t know why i said that.”

plus when xina and miguel are alone… xina undresses in front of miguel to get him to sleep with her. but he just says (paraphrasing here), “not in the mood for romance plus you’re not that pretty.”

miguel literally calls xina ugly to her face. and xina still thinks dana is the problem. she irritates me to no end. if xina isn’t interested in romance, why is she so upset about the cheating and the engagement? me thinks she’s a dishonest actor. tbh, if i’d be more accepting if the cheating was just a one time mistake and miguel can Move On with xina. but given these panels:

dude did not cheat once. he did not cheat twice. he cheated over the span of 1-2 years (i’m glad you shaved like i asked, years ago). how much can miguel love xina if he’s always cheating on his childhood sweetheart?

keep in mind, when they meet, miguel rubs it in xina’s face that he’s engaged to dana. HE NEVER PROPOSED TO XINA AND HE DATED HER FOR OVER 10 YEARS. but suddenly dana comes along and he’s like “gotta wife that girl”?

you’ll never get me to be a miguel/xina cheerleader, but i don’t hate xina. i understand xina’s mad at dana for “taking miguel away from her” but miguel didn’t slip and fall on dana and whoops they’re together now.

for the majority of the 2099 fanbase to portray dana as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making miguel marry and have kids with her is taking a tragedy and twisting it into something that is frankly, deeply misogynistic and disgusting. they should be ashamed of themselves.

(not meant for you, by the way. i realize you’re here to have a discussion in good faith.)

lyla is lyla. she is cute, but she is also an AI. she cannot consent to a relationship nor sex. but idk. she’s okay when her programming isn’t being messed with by xina. she shouldn’t end up with miguel though. weird non-consensual things abound with robots and AI and cyberpunk that I Would Rather Not Talk About. but miguel treats lyla disrespectfully in the comics and the movie (played for laughs in the movie though? lyla does get him to say please.)

aaaaaaaand I haven’t read anything with tempest. i know she’s miguel’s canon baby mama and wife, and tyler stone fucks with tempest with some kind of mind-control parasite and forces miguel to kill her. i don’t know enough about tempest to have an opinion, but her design is… all right. i don’t dig the pink hair or the wings. maybe she’ll grow on me? does miguel cheat on her or throw plates at her or neg her? if not, she’s already doing leagues better than xina and dana.

[hard--headed--woman]

gay men be like what? are you joking. i do not have male privilege nor do i suport the patriarchy. what the hell are you saying you dumb fucking cunt. i hope you get raped like you deserve you whore

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

“The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and knew he was a killer first time that I saw him wondered how many girls he had left and left haunted” I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near, talk your talk and go viral I just need this love spiral! get it off your chest! get it off my desk! I screamed so loud and no one heard a thing, It must be counterfeit, I would be complex, I would be cool… I’m the problem it’s me, they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve… if I was rude could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves: “Mr. Insincere apology so he doesn’t look like the bad guy,” try and stay out of everybody’s way, I know that I went psycho on the phone, you’re lookin so innocent, i end up in crisis, muddy these webs we weave, there are places I would never ever go, I forget their names now I’m so very tame now never be the same now, now: “when the night ends, oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day, the sky turned black in a perfect storm, yeah idk what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down but the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now… I made you my world, have you heard (huh?), I can reclaim the land”