#TW sexism

[the-longest-day-of-my-life]

everyday i wake up and wonder why i have an interest in 24.

[wisewordsofpolly]

I love it when a cis white straight guy tries to justify transphobic, sexist, racist, and rape jokes to me by saying women are just too sensitive

[notdefendingtaylor]

Kanye also said years ago that his Nazi shit was a form of 'performance art' and now look where he is. Nazism should not be touched for ANY reason. Matty is a fool.

This is why I loathe Matty’s performance art excuse: he can only say racist/sexist things ‘ironically’ because he has white male privilege in the first place. Operating on mechanisms of power to ironically shit on people is functionally indistinguishable from just shitting on people sincerely. Add on the fact that the general public can never tell it’s an artistic statement with him, and he stands by his ‘statement’ only until the moment he’s called on it, then plays the victim. There is no ironic statement to be made, only normalizing and indulging in racism/sexism under a flimsy shield until you get panned for it.

[msfbgraves]

I'm so disappointed that I've lost interest in rewatching the show lmao even though S1 was amazing. And it had nothing to do with the actors but only with the writing. NOTHING felt earned, everything that was stated to be oh so impactful fell flat - Johnny getting everything, Kreese's redemption, even Miguel's victory. Because it should've been Robbie who won. Robbie who directly mirrors Daniel from KK1. Daniel won after Kreese (!) had him injured. Axel injures Robbie at the pressure of his abusive Sensei. Robbie should have won the tournament just like Daniel did, and Axel should've had his "you're alright larusso" moment that Johnny had (who, according to the show never did anything wrong ever. Like, if he never did anything wrong and was always the victim ever, why did we have S1???) And sure, Terry was great, but even his "doesn't get Daniel's forgiveness" arc doesn't pay off because their last conversation was a fucking joke!! "Cobra kai never dies"??? How can you be so off the mark?? It was outright disrespectful by being so unfitting for a sequel to the KK saga. Like you don't get the source material you are drawing inspiration from! You've missed the entire point!! You don't even get the S1 that you wrote!!! Like, hello??? What the hell happened? HOW the hell was this allowed to happen? I know it's just a TV show but it makes me furious that such bad writing happened to a show that was just So Good in the beginning. Like, they did get it. In the beginning. They actually got it. But then they lost it, and I just don't get why!! I want to see or read an alternative version, because this isn't me complaining because "I didn't get my way". This is me complaining because nothing here worked, it was just badly written, and I don't think, as toxic as fandoms can be, that we deserved that. The actors certainly didn't.

What I think happened, and I've made a slightly satirical post about it, is that the writers didn't want to give up their view of correct masculinity while also feeling, deep in their gut, that The Karate Kid, that critiques this kind of masculinity in Kreese especially, had very valid points to make. Scarily valid points. Because if TKK is right, toxic masculinity and the bullying it leads to, is wrong. But how can it be so wrong when it feels so right? OK, they know, what if they use Johnny Lawrence as a protagonist who is macho, and funny, and we can all have fun watching him be badass and making fun of nerds. Because that is legitimately fun. And taking Daniel down a peg or two. And yes, we'd have to take an extremely bad faith approach to anything he's ever done but we can get away with that, can't we? It's Johnny Lawrence. He's not gonna have a positive view about Daniel LaRusso. ('What about Johnny handing him the trophy and saying you're alri-" "We're not gonna reference that I HATE THIS FUCKIN TWERP HE NEEDS TO BE OBLITERATED" "Hayden, stop being a pussy about Ralph" "... ... ... Most people won't remember that and will grant us some creative license." "Attaboy, Hayden"). Anyhow, and we'll keep the woke brigade off our backs by pointing out that Johnny obviously is not supposed to be a role model because he has fucked his life up and his son hates him.

And in the first two seasons it works because they are mostly emotionally honest (at least where the men are concerned. They could not, even in the first two seasons, fathom that mothers (Amanda, Carmen, Laura, Sharon, Rosa or Lucille) had any emotional depth or complexity. They're all walking clichés, and that is with the actresses trying their hardest to breathe life into them. Ralph made asshole!Daniel work through his Terry Silver trauma. (That's why it is such a great thing Thomas came in, too.) But when you are being emotionally honest... You are going to have to admit that this badass attitude gets people seriously hurt. Like what would have happened to Daniel if not for Mr. Miyagi. That boy would have been dead, according to Kamen. And now, Miguel is very likely disabled for life, whether or not he walks again, and Robby is in Juvie - his priors won't have done him any favors.

But the reason why they started writing it was that they wanted to make Johnny right and they wanted to have a reconcilliation with their own shit Dads through letting Johnny have one with Kreese but when you are true to these characters, which they know how to do, that is never gonna happen, because your son won't forgive you without you doing any work and shit Dads do not see the light suddenly because otherwise they wouldn't have been that shit in the first place and women don't date unkempt, violent, jobless losers who have abandoned their family because men would like it better if they did. Just like hot rich men don't fall for shy, plain, insecure wallflowers. Men don't have to be billionaires and women don't have to be models but you need to put some effort in.

So my only explanation is, that when they were being honest, they were proving The Karate Kid right (and of course they were, that film is based on real life for the most part). Which they had set out NOT TO DO. Because if the Karate Kid is right, and bullying is bad, that means THEY must have been bad for having been bullies and somehow that is too painful to grapple with. (Ralph said on YouTube, in a Q&A about TKK, which was held in 2012: "[The movie] offends no one - except bullies" cue the biggest indictment of CK before it even aired!)

So what did they do? The consciously went against their own characters, and what the story naturally set out to say. Now, as a fic author, I recognise this. It's frustrating to want to get to a conclusion with a story when the story has other plans. The story, then, may just about forgive you very small swerves, but if you start forcing it harder it gets ridiculous. That happens all the time. When for instance, in the Handmaid's Tale, a character would have left the story, but this would have put the actress out of a job, the whole rest of the series unravelled. Because it went against its own rules and stopped making any internal sense.

So, if you go against the laws of nature with Miguel's miracle cure and laws of humanity by letting Johnny off scott free for everything he has done to Robby, and pulling Daniel and Robby apart because you want Robby in Cobra Kai for the drama and you want to punish Robby for being the only one who has rightfully called Johnny out and you want to deny him the option to say, "To Hell with that old man, Daniel is my Dad now", and you ignore that Carmen, a single woman with two dependents and a job as a medical professional would be on birth control, and even if she wasn't, plan B, abortion pills and medical termination of pregnancies exists, because Real Men Impregnate and Johnny needs a true do over and what do moms even do, amirite, your story stops making Any Goddamn Sense. It stops working.

The reason why I didn't stop at S3 was that at least at the very end, Daniel started to get really interesting. Honestly I have no idea what S3 was even about apart from Miguel's miracle cure, but they tapped into Daniel's dark side and lo and behold, here comes Terry! And Terry's story, for the most part, also made internal sense. So by shifting the focus away from Johnny, whose story logic they had so strongly violated, it regained a lot of internal truth.

And then they had Kreese fake his death with a cup of Jell-o. Because to hell with truth, story truth or realism, we need Daddy back. And also, everything needs to be about Kreese and Johnny, so Terry has to be made to care about them more than Daniel, even though the whole third film was about his relationship with Daniel. Yes, he had one with Kreese but that was never the main point. So their ongoing fuckery also doesn't make sense. Kreese was done with Terry before they even met again. Terry was done with Kreese at the end of S4. They wrote that! Yes, Kreese may have wanted revenge, but Terry really doesn't much care about him or Johnny. Which is why a final resolution between these two rings so false. A final showoff between Johnny and Kreese would have had much more weight. I mean what is Kreese so mad about he wants Terry dead for? The loss of Cobra Kai? He had Cobra Kai back! The time in jail? The charges were dropped! And again Terry doesn't care so there is no emotional resolution. This doesn't affect either Daniel or Johnny, they just wanted two badass characters go out in a cool way.

That's what happens when you force a story to adhere to the writers' ideals or whatever outside factor prompts you to make a decision that goes against your story's own rules (or human behavior in general). It becomes a hollow parody of itself.

[Deep breath] Why was this allowed to happen? Because a big enough part of the audience likes toxic masculinity and apparently watches a story only to be very superficially entertained. When the audience stays happy who cares? People like me were never going to buy CK merchandise, but they just might. Also, the actors know that people have done far worse for a far smaller paycheck than tell a bad story.

Of course, ruining meaningful stories is bad for people's mental health, but who cares about that? That's what alcohol is for. And oh, you're a woman? Who cares in general? Go get fucked and then cook me dinner!

[russilton]

Would you say as a trans person you struggled with internalized misogyny and/or transphobia pre-transition? I had a teacher who I would beef with all the time and would say incredibly misogynistic things and later transitioned into a woman and it actually really upset me because I felt like they hated women and antagonized me for being a woman. Just wanting a trans-person’s pov bc it has bothered me for years and I didn’t want to confront the former teacher bc I wanted to be supportive of their transition.

Absofuckinglutely. I try to talk about it honestly bc I think we often lose people when we don’t talk about how self hatred or discomfort can lead to us trying to externalise the hate into something more rather than addressing that in ourselves.

We all want to pretend we were always good people but honestly life is a journey of improvement and I think there is value in acknowledging you can change and grow away from bad thoughts without them tarnishing you forever. Everyone has room to grow and thoughts to dismantle.

It’s not true for all trans people, it may not be true for a lot or even half of trans people, I cannot speak for them, but I did have times I tried to blame my discomfort on women or other trans people. I also know that I never externalised this behaviour and targeted or tried to hurt others with it, I fell very very strongly on the INTERNALISED side of things, because I think a large part of me understood how I was feeling was wrong, but I felt so deeply stifled and frustrated.

When it came to women, I struggled horribly mostly with the fact I was told over and over about what women were meant to be, and I didn’t want any of that. I kicked away and rebelled from traditional ideas of womanhood because I felt so different, I hated those things, I internalised people telling me “oh you’re just not like other girls” because it felt like I could explain why I felt so alienated, maybe this was better actually, not this thing I felt so insecure about. It backfired pretty fast when the messaging I then started getting was oh there’s so much support for women in stem, there’s so many programs for women in tech, there’s options for women in electronics. So many people wanted me to be a woman in male dominated fields because they were at the time less common, and I felt even more crushed under the pressure of “being a WOMAN” in x, when I just wanted to be me. I didn’t want to be special because I was a woman somewhere, it made my skin crawl.

That’s problematic messaging even for cis girls, but it took me a few years longer to realise that that discomfort wasn’t the fault of women who I didn’t felt like I fit with. It’s because I wasn’t a fucking woman. I was told oh you’re just different you’re a Tom boy from the earliest ages I could remember. Nobody was explaining to me in the early 2000’s I could just be.. Tom, a boy.

Internalised transphobia came after my transition and fell sort of into the transmedicalism side of things. I am still deeply thankful for the older and more capable trans friend I had at the time for… politely smacking the shit out of me when I voiced a hint of a trans med opinion one time, because he fundamentally made me sit down and reconsider why I was agreeing with people who even at the time I felt were mean and cruel in their messaging, but that messaging was feeding the horrible despair and shame I was feeling and replacing it with anger.

When we feed sad, lonely, struggling people hateful rhetoric, they are more likely to pick it up if it turns that sadness into anger. It’s part of why incels exist.

When I was first transitioning I felt so so alone, I had years, maybe a decade of waiting for ANY treatment ahead of me, I wanted so much, I had crippling dysphoria that ate at me every day and I felt so invalidated by family. When some shitty instagram algorithm happens to start feeding you “you know, if it weren’t for all these trenders you wouldn’t have to wait so long, they don’t have REAL dysphoria like YOU do, why do they get to be happy when you aren’t” its way too easy to go yeah, yeah fuck those guys who dont have it as hard as ME, they, a small group I feel less helpless against, are the reason I’m struggling, not the giant looming threat of a poorly run medical system, years of waiting I couldn’t change, not the lack of support from my family or being unable to wear binders and alleviate my own discomfort.

These feelings were wrong. I’m ashamed I had them even for the short period I had them, but I did.

Being transgender doesn’t justify bigotry or hurting others no matter how tortured and sad you feel. Treating women poorly or saying shitty things because you are either jealous you cannot be one, or wishing desperately to not be one, is not okay. And if you had those periods it’s correct to look back at them and be fuckin embarrassed.

Your teacher should feel embarrassed for how she treated you, and her personal journey was never any kind of justification for hurting you like that. No matter how hurt she was, it doesn’t make hurting you okay.

But it does happen, it’s more common than we like addressing. Some people hate just to hate, the stereotype of the closeted homophobe is harmful to the queer community for the most part. Some people aren’t secretly queer they just fuckin suck

But if you are sad and struggling and someone starts encouraging you to hate a group smaller than you for some sense of self importance and control, especially if part of their rhetoric is anger at someone else being happy when you aren’t, they’re lying to you and it’s not going to make you any happier. Nobody wins, not the attacked person, and not you either. Hurting someone else doesn’t erase your own hurt

I’ve been watching a lot of contrapoints videos recently about how common this kind of phenomenon is, especially among people in pre transition, or on the inverse, it also pops up in people like butch women and femme men where they spent all their lives fighting to present the way they were told is wrong for their gender, only for someone to transition and enjoy gender stereotypes they fought so hard to be free of. Again it’s just targeting people finding joy in things you don’t relate to rather than focusing on rejecting the people who told you it was wrong not to fit in in the first place.

Bit of a long ramble but I think about this kind of thing a lot. To summarise anon, it might not be very uncommon, but that doesn’t make it okay someone treated you that way no matter their personal struggles, and trans women and men can still be sexist even post transition. No amount of trauma makes that behaviour okay.

If you want to confront that person, it doesn’t make you transphobic to tell them you’re concerned about sexism they’ve expressed in the past, and how it hurt you. It doesn’t make you transphobic to ask for an apology for that behaviour, no matter how much hurt that person was in. It would only be transphobic to say she can’t be a woman because of her sexism. Unfortunately women can be as sexist as many men, most of the people who were telling me I was special for not being like other girls… were women.

[voidselfshipp]

Not the Man you think i am.

Cw: dysphoria,issues with gender,sexism,self image issues. Talks about periods,implied homophobia. Its going to be a Long one.

Summary: Ezio has Fallen in love with a fellow assasin,Someone loyal and loving- But theres two problems. 1) the person is a Man,2) that Man holds a big secret.

>Only mutuals allowed to reblog. Word count is 8.3k ac2 has a lot of weird timeskips so sorry if you get lost along the way. I also dont write the full context for my own sanity.

The Auditore Mansion was truly something to behold. Old,not kept to the best of its condition but its cared for with love. Its finely made with the best of architecture and in its prime it had to be as beautiful as a glowing diamond.

Mario had told Ezio to come see him at his Office after buying himself some proper Gear. He did as he was told,and entered the workspace of his uncle.

The room is old,with a desk and a chair that had seen better days. Bookshelves filled with tomes and a candelabra above that illuminated the place. Theres a refined look to the walls,the creamy colored plastered on it hasnt changed...though the Windows could use some clean up.

Nearby the desk was Mario with somebody else. A Man,5'6 with pale skin and green eyes. Their hair was tied in a bun and it was both brown and gold at the underside of their head. The nape of their neck was shaven finely, an odd choice for a Man.

Well,he figured it was a Man. He dressed with a button up,a green and dark brown vest,a belt with a pouch and dark chocolate colored pants and shoes. They carried a pocket watch on their pants that was attached to their vest.

They also wore a shoulder cape. The outside was dark brown,and the inside had a pale brown color to it-Almost like dried moss.

--Ezio! Welcome back-- Mario smiled-- I want to present you Jerico Sarmiento, My protegé. You Will train with them

--Nice to meet you,Signore Sarmiento-- ezio shook the young Man's hand and smiled politely. Though theres something in his chest,a fluttering,when their gazes meet and he smiles back.

--Its nice to meet you too,Always happy to learn about Mario's family.

--Indeed-- Then,Ezio turns to his uncle-- But I told you i dont want to stay or train.

--You barely held yourself in the ambush,how can you expect to survive on the road?--Mario insisted,putting his hands on his hips-- if not for me,for your sister and mother.

Ezio sighed,considering for a moment. Yes,he has to protect his family. This might be the only chance he gets-can he really take the risk?

--Very well...--He relented-- Where would you have me start?

--Tomorrow we'll start with the basics. For now go rest-- Mario smiled,and dismissed Him with a hand-- Jerico,if you might be so kind as to taking him to his room.

--Yes,sir. This way, please-- They gesture out of the Office.

--Buona notte, uncle-- (good night) Ezio said before following the young Man out of the room.

Up the stairs they go,down the old halls. Ezio cant help but feel pity at the state of this family home,his family home. There was so much about his family he didnt know,what was the deal with his father? Why all this mess?

--So how did you end up in my uncle's care?--Ezio asked to break the silence,and to busy himself with something else.

--Oh,uh-- Jerico hesitated,their guest didnt know the whole truth. They wanted Mario to explain everything-- I saved his life,sort of.

--Now this I've got to hear.

He smiled,that charming auditore smile. It makes their heart skip a beat,especially with those gorgeous brown eyes that plead to hear what they have to say.

--He was in spain,some eight years ago. -- they shrugged,looking at the dirty Windows as they pass them by-- I was a scrappy teen then,middle class but I rarely acted like it.

--Hah,I understand the feeling. Were you a trouble maker? -- he said with this glint in his eyes.

--Kind of,yes. Didnt act how it was expected of me-- They shrug with a sly smile theyre trying to fight. Theyre just a little bashful about it.

--You are a boy,how else did they expect you to act?

Jeri had to hold back a laugh-- Nevermind. Point is I spent a lot of time out in the streets...I met your uncle then.

--What was going on?-- he asked.

How to put this into words without throwing in the whole templars and assasins thing? Its going to take them a second and for a moment Ezio thinks hes touched a delicate subject.

But then they dismiss his worries with a gesture of their hand-- Some bad men were after him,I couldnt stand the idea of injustice And the like. I threw a rock at the men,one of them got hit in the head and fell unconcious,which gave your uncle some room to fight.

--Very brave,you were...twelve then? You dont look older than twenty--The auditores had some nice genes. The now only remaining son of Giovanni looked so beautiful under the lowlight.

--Yes Im twenty,going on twenty one in september-- they smile,and his heart flutters again-- I ran after I hit the Man,but stayed around to see what happened. Your uncle beated the bad Man and found me,he congratulated me on my bravery and we simply talked. Then,he Walked me home.

--Sounds like my uncle,yes-- Ezio smiled almost proud-- But how did you end up here?

--Theres the thing,I was honest and told him about my family. Not the best bunch, my mother tried her best but she had her own terrible issues I couldnt deal with anymore. --Their voice grows softer,heavier with pain,grief and sadness-- He offered me to take me under his wing,train me just like he wants to train with you. Few days later I snuck off with what I could Carry,and left with him for italy.

Ezio raised his brows--You didnt doubt his intentions?

--I promise you that at that time I-i thought little and cared even less for the consequences. I just needed to get out of that house.

A gentle hand pressed to their shoulder,those Brown eyes of his soften and his lips purse-- Im sorry you had to go through that. Every child deserves a loving family.

--Thank you-- They stop at a certain door-- But I found my family here with your uncle and the people of Monteriggioni. Take that with you to bed,if it eases your mind.

Ezio let go of their shoulder,his warmth leaving them then-- For what is worth,im happy youre here. Buona Notte,Jerico.

--Just Jer is fine, Buenas noches Ezio--They meet his gaze even if their heart is leaping out of their throat-- Im not going to go easy on you tomorrow,so rest well. If you need anything my room is at the end of the Hall. You might need to make some noise,im quite the heavy sleeper.

He shrugged--My father is- was much the same. I suppose men are just like that. See you tomorrow-- He smiles one final time and he enters his room. Jeri doesnt even bother then and simply goes to their room with some giggles they want to hold back.

"Not going to fall for the player" they thought,insistently so. "Not at all.."

-♡-

First day of training went as you would expect. Ezio was good at learning on the fly,but he did get thrown to the ground a few times.

He shared these...looks with his opponent, these playful- Flirty? Looks whenever Jerico loomed over him in victory. And yet even winning they rarely taunted Him, their grip was soft and gentle when they helped him get to his feet.

Its so distracting he almost doesnt hear what his uncle says.

Second day,hes aware of the templars and assasins. At night ezio sneaks into Marios Office to read about what he had claimed to be "Fantasy". There was a reality,things did began to make sense in the context that templars were still around and causing trouble for everyone- Including his family.

That night,when dawn approached, he Walked out of the Office hoping to sneak back into his room.

He is not the most silent,however.

--Not as quite assasin like as id expect-- Jerico said from the top of the stairs. They were already dressed for the day.

--Dio mio!--ezio screeched,almost dropping the candle he was holding. He put a hand on his chest and said-- do you wish to give me a heart attack?

His friend sits on the handrail of the stairs and slides down like that. They then hop off the last step and walks up to him,playful green eyes look at his face and their head moves around like an inquisitive animal.

"So cute" he thought for a moment.

--Nothing of the sort. But what were you doing up?-- they look behind his shoulder to the Open door of Marios office--Ah,went to do some research?

The Man blinked at his companion,his cheeks red-- Well I had to make sure...--He cleared his throat-- What in gods name are you doing awake at this hour?

Jeri shrugged-- somebody needs to get everything set up while the princess gets her Beauty rest-- they Gently push him,and he chuckles as he returns the gesture.

--Right well you go on with that. Not a Word to Mario please?--He asked with this puppy dog look in his eyes. Hes so handsome...

--Cant make any promises,pretty boy. Now go,sleep-- they pat his arm and leave for the kitchen,which is opposite to him.

--Pretty boy?--Ezio muttered to himself with a tiny smile. He clears his throat and goes up the stairs,almost stumbling And falling all the way back down. Way to go...

Third Day, training was finished.

Jerico sat on the low wall nearby as Mario congratulated his nephew on all hes learnt. The morning was cool and fresh,it smelled of flowers and wet dirt.

The sun was shining through the cloud cover,sparse but still there.

--Well done Nipote!,you've really come into your own.-- The older Man said. (Nephew).

--I had a good oponent-- Ezio throws a Sly smile towards his friend-- but thank you,uncle, for all you have given me.-- He put a hand on his uncles shoulder and squeezed it fondly.

--Youre family!--Mario grinned--Such os my duty and my desire!.

--Im glad you had me stay-- The younger Man answered.

--Good! You've reconsidered leaving!

Ezio quickly stole a glance to Jeri,and how Pretty they looked. The sun made their hair look like roaring Fire and their eyes endless emeralds of unmeasurable value. Yet still...

--We sail for Spain in three days...--he answered,turning his back briefly to his uncle.

Jers heart squeezes,must he go? Will he need somebody to guide him through Spain?

--But nipote!--Mario insisted-- I have given you these skills that you might be better prepared to strike against our enemies...

--And if they find me,I Will-- Ezio said,Also persistent if not a little annoyed--

--You want to leave,Ezio?--The older Mans voice hardened-- To throw away everything your father fought and died for? To deny your heritage? Fine! Come Voi,Arrivederci e buona fortuna! (So be it. Goodbye and good luck)

Jerico stood up and said--Mario! Dont be like that!--They began to walk towards the pair but Mario leaves.

--Uncle! Wait-! --Ezio Turned to his friend-- Why is he so upset?

They sigh and put a hand on his shoulder,patting it--How can he not be? Vieri's been harrasing us ever since you first arrived. It makes sense I guess,he is..well..a templar.

Ezio breathed out, patting his Friends back--it never ends,does it? Ill go talk to my uncle.

Not the best of ideas but they knew how hard headed the Auditores could be. They nodd and gesture the stairs he needs to go up to exit the training area-- Good luck,Ezio.

With a smirk, the Man shrugged--Itll be fine,dont you worry signore-- He did a gesture with his hand,almost saluting them and left. It makes them smirk and shake their head,cheeks warm.

Deep down,they hope he stays...

Jerico would be called upon to accompany Mario to slay Vieri de'pazza- the Man who ambushed Ezio and his family in the road to here- in San Gimniano. They get ready,and they hope that he joins them soon enough. Wouldnt feel right otherwise.

In the end Ezio comes to them to join. And when they go for the city,he does tell Jeri to mind their self. They only give them a sassy head tilt and a wink that says "youre telling me to be careful?". He leaves to infiltrate the city,but his heart as left a piece of itself within them...for safe keeping.

-♡-

[Timeskip. Post "What Goes Around" mission where you infiltrate and kill Vieri]

Mario's men had already began to drink. After a little chat with his Uncle, Ezio joined in on the party. He finds all the soldiers on the Villa's tavern. A little old but still functioning.

But hes most happy to find Jerico sitting on the bar,alone and nursing some beer.

--Not a scratch on you,im impressed-- He sat beside them,smiling.

--I did tell you not to worry-- They shrug with a smile too-- You?

--Few bruises but its nothing more than that-- His eyes fall on the beer-- Not much for wine?

--Not really,no. I gather a Man of your social status is though.

--Whenever I can,I Will make you taste the best of wines. Youre really missing out-- He orders something,obviously wine, and returns to talking with his friend.

--When youre back from Spain,I imagine.

The way their gaze falls breaks his heart. He puts a hand on their shoulder and then moves up their trapezius to tilt their head up by the chin. His gloved hand pressed against their soft skin,the leather a smooth if not a little odd texture.

--Im staying-- he said,looking at the way their eyes widen with surprise-- Im taking up my fathers work,all of it. Including the brotherhood.

--What made you change your mind?

--Well,it would be a dishonor to my fathers legacy-- He admits,looking at that pretty face-- My mother and sister want vengeance,me too..

--Theres something else right--now he looks surprised--Its just...the way youre saying it..

--Observant little mouse-- He smiled-- Yes. Theres something else...-- In that moment his wine arrives. He raised the glass a little-- good company

--Indeed--They Grab their jug of beer and both clink their drinks toghether-- ¡Salud! (Cheers!)

--¡Salute! (Cheers!)

Both drink,and the night begins to slip away like a dream. Music and celebrating fill the air,the alcohol comes and goes and for the first time in a while that old tavern is filled with life.

Ezio and jerico spend the night talking between drinks. Laughs and stories are shared,and the world seems Kinder in that moment.

--Now that youre staying,maybe I can finally visit Trieste --They say,finishing off their jug of beer.--Mario said he would take me but hes always busy...

--Why Trieste?

--My grandma's family is from there. Now that im here I can finally go. But I didnt want to go alone.

He smiled--Well then, I hope you dont mind the company. Its dangerous to travel alone.. even for a capable Man like you!

They smile too--i wont mind.

When the night draws to a close,ezio takes jerico back home. Hes quite drunk,and he cant stop laughing at their jokes. His arm goes around them quite a few times with the pretext of safety- though jeri knew he would fall the moment a gentle breeze blew by.

Up the stairs and into the estate they go. The Man is guided to his room by his friend.

-- Good night,Bello-- He said with a Sly smile. (Handsome)

They snort and roll their eyes--Good night,Careful with the hangover tomorrow

He answers with something he must think are words but in reality is senseless,drunk slurring. They laugh,and go on their way to rest up for the night.

Hopefully they have the day off tomorrow- they imagine half of the staff Will be dealing with a hangover by the time morning comes. Which means,they might just get that perfect lazy day...

-♡-

The Next morning,Ezio had awakened with a horrible migrane. He drags himself to the dinning room to eat,his sister and mother wait for him and he greets them accordingly.

From the kitchen nearby,a gentle voices echos. Hes about to ask who it is,but Claudia(his sibling) shooshes him with a finger over her lips.

He sits and listens,a little annoyed he was told to shut up. Especially with that headache.

--Small seems the flesh.

So conditioning for the rest.

And it makes the genes matter not

Nor the skills or the worth.

That my ribs were made from another

And therefore lesser

Shuffling is heard,food is served in plates and the smell reaches the dinningroom And beyond.

--And the light from my heart.

Cuts my chest clean in half.

Half moons of sunlight,to wrap around like an arch.

Why is it the flesh that makes Us different?

That they only care for a life Bringer.

Yet our blood most shameful

And our body not our own.

We're not iron,we're not gold.

God never meant to fit us in a mold.

Cutlery and cups clink together,tea and coffee mix in the air. Its then Mario enters the room and sits beside María, Ezios mother.

--Uncle,who is singing?--Ezio asked,gaining a soft slap from his sister.

--Dont be too loud--Cautioned the elder.

All noise stops,and the singing returns.

--Does the lioness not protect her pack?

Isnt the the female mosquito that bites?

Isnt the ursine mother that protects?

And isnt the male seahorse that bears?

Its only Us that distinct between flesh and bones.

That one is better,other worse.

What matters a rib less or a rib more.

For flesh is ever changing,not a mold.

Jerico enters the room with the servants,food in trays that are set on the table. Then they sit beside Ezio and bid everyone good morning.

--Im surprised youre even awake-- they joked towards Mario.

--The Auditore constitution, tough as rocks-- He smiled.

--Mm,are you sure?--They asked,turning to the Man they were sitting beside. -- He doesnt look too good

Ezio rolled his eyes-- I always look good. --He reached for a cup of tea and sets it infront of Jerico-- for you,signore. How do you like your tea?

--Just one spoonful of sugar,please-- they cross their arms and lean with them on the table as Ezio makes their tea.

--With what treat? -- The italian Man asked.

--Just Grab me a few chocolate cookies and ill be set. Grazie,Ezio.

--Nothing to worry about,my pleasure.

Claudia and María snicker,Mario rolls his eyes playfull but watches on all amused.Breakfast goes on without a hitch,and so does the rest of the lazy day off for Jerico. Being able to lounge in their room all day is perfect.

They sit now at their bed,unwrapping the bandages that binded their breasts. They let the cloth strip fall around their naked hips and thighs that pudge out beautifully.

Anxious palms smooth over,feeling the grown hair over their legs. They sigh and flap their hands quickly, they stand up and pace around the room with the courtains drawn.

Somebody should tell Ezio the truth. God,their skin feels so unconfortable.

Would he treat them differently if he knew they were born a woman?

God please dont let him see them as another conquest. Dont make him like a lot of the men they know.- Hes kind,hes sweet...hes thoughtful and handsome please...

They dont know whats wrong, should they have been born different? Should the world change...

Jeri sits on the floor,their hands unsure what to do. They try to pick at the cool tile floor that feels awful against their skin,their body is too warm...

They curl over themself,clawing away at the bun that their hair is tied off into. Brown and gold falls over their face like a mournful veil. They slide more and more onto the floor until their chest is solemnly pressed against the tiles.

No scream comes out,their throat tight like they were trying to not vomit their heart upon the floor. Their nails press against the floor to try and break it, their toes curl and their mouth opens to show their teeth begging them to sink into something soft and tear it open.

They curl like a gargoyle, their body feels wrong. And its not because all this time Ezio thought they were a boy, its not that...

Its because nobody sees beyond their flesh. They have to hide to show who they are.

Proper ladies wear dresses.

Stand Straight.

Dont embarass us.

Quiet,mouthy child. No husband Will come with that attitude.

Stop complaining,put on that dress and go.

Youre merely a woman,what do you know of the affairs of men?

Girls cant wield weapons! Being an assasin is the work of men.

So pretty,yet such a waste.

Knocking on the door goes unheard. Who dares bother? What does the world need of them that it hasnt taken from them already?

--Jerico...--A voice called.

They curl into themselves a little more.

You want us to call you what?

Your name wont ever change. Itll be in your tombstone,dont bother.

Itll never be your name.

--Jerico..!

Itll never be your body

--Jerico!--Ezio called from the other side of the door. --Are you awake?

They slowly rise from their position,curled into themself like a baby. Their hair covering their face,green eyes barely peek through the strands of gold and brown.

With reddened knees and elbows they have to try and stand. The cold floor digs into their flesh,Caring little for their comfort. But theyre used to it, they cant remember the last time the world looked their way.

--Yes. -- they croak-- What is it?

--I...sorry I did mean to wake you but..

--What is it?--They repeat.

Like a baby deer,they push themself up with a shaking body. They have goosebumps and their hands push away their hair so they can see where the bandages fell.

Half of it is on the floor,the other sliding from their bed. They wrap it around their chest, put on some pants and opened the door with a heavy swing.

--I said...--They begin

Ezio looks surprised and worried,they look a mess.-- Bad time?

They sigh and allow their shoulders to drop in defeat.--Bad time,yes. Im just having a rough day...

--Well,i was wondering if you would like to take a walk?

Its better than rotting away in their room and hate themself into Next week. --Give me five minutes...-- they go to close the door and his foot stops the door.

--Wait! Those bandages...Are you okay?

Jerico felt something in them break. Their eyes gloss over-- Its just an injury,Ive had it for a while. Im fine.

--are you sure?

--Yeah. Its just to make sure the stitches stay firm.

--You've been doing so much with that injury?

--Ezio,I promise im fine. Let me change...

--Alright,just let me know

Jerico puts on some walking shoes,a shirt and tie up their hair back into that tight bun. Hold your chin up,dont let them see your pain. Gaze forward,untouchable,nothing can hurt you.

The door opens Gently this time,they breathe out and find Ezio leaning on the wall with his arms crossed.He doesnt smile,he does look concerned with his brown eyes soft, with genuine pity.

Its fine,its alright. Itll pass, Keep moving Keep moving.

--Are you okay?--the Man asked,walking up to him and putting a hand on their bicep.

Youre fine. Its just a temporary thing. Youre fine. Youre fine. Say that youre fine.

--No. -- their voice shakes so much just from saying it-- I dont want to dwell on it. I feel like shit...

Ezio cooed, an though hes a little awkward he brings them in for a hug. Brief,but loving. This close he senses they smell like green Apple and jasmine...

--Let me help you,then?

You dont need help

--Alright..lets get out of here.

When they both get out into the courtyard,both men walk side by side in silence. Birds fly above,wind rustles the leaves like its playing the flute.

The overgrown Grass sways in a gentle dance, dirt and gravel crunch under their steps. What else is there to say? That they want to remake their body? That they want to not be judged?

They just want to scream it in his face and tell him.

Jerico is waiting for the blow, for him to turn on them and treat them like less. Because they were born a woman,because everyone keeps telling them theyre less. So theyre waiting on him to just do It,sink his teeth and tear them appart.

--That pendant...its made of coconut Shell,right?--Ezio asked-- Its very pretty,the sun it has on it too..

They blink and look down at their necklace,they so rarely get to see it under the layers of clothes they wear. They almost forgot...

--Oh...right-- Jeri takes the pendant in their hands tracing it gently--Funny,I almost forgot what it means...

--What does it mean?

--Well,i Keep it at the height of my heart. It represents the good in me...a reminder of myself,who I am.

Ezio wrapped an arm around their shoulder and pulls them close in a gentle side hug. --I...ive seen the good work you do,how youre loyal to my uncle and the assasin cause. The world seems brighter when youre around,I hope you can always find your way back to yourself

Their eyes glaze and they squeeze the pendant in their hand. --Thats very sweet,Ezio. Thank you.

--Of course --He feels their arm wrap around his back and his head leans to press against theirs.

Both walk, and the conversation turns to softer and lighter matters. Silly stories,fun little things they find in the courtyard. By the end,it feels like hes managed to make the sun come out again.

Seeing jerico smile was all ezio needed.

-♡-

Throughout the years,Ezio has experienced some odd events surrounding his friend Jerico. How they always kept those bandages around their chest,even when they arent really injured.

--You dont want to take off those bandages?--Ezio asked as both bathed in the cool river. It was a warm day in Italy.

--Im fine,really. Theyre just comfortable

--If its because some scar-

--Its not, but I like it this way. Really,dont worry--They smile and Gently squeeze his hand under the water. Ezio nodds and smiles too.

--Va bene (alright then),--He smiled warmly,making their chest flutter.

Others were little things he could note of their appereance. For a Man that worked out and fought Jeri was tall and thin,curvier and narrow in the shoulder area. They didnt have chest hair,or a beard- Though they claimed they just shaved often- But their arms and legs were hairy.

They claimed it was a thing of genes,just like the mutation that made their hair be two different colors. That was proof enough for him to leave it alone and dont question it.

Yet one morning he finds Jerico in Claudias room talking in hushes And really close to eachother.

--Are you sure its enough?--Claudia asked.

--You have already given me so much,I appreciate it. I can handle it.--They reassured,taking her hands

It was so hard not to laugh when he asked them if they were courting his sister. They reassured him that they werent,and that Claudia had just simply done a favor for them.

Jeri didnt have the heart to tell him the truth,that it was a thing about periods and how they had forgotten to get some proper rags And padding for the menstrual blood.

Ezio couldnt understand why he felt all these emotions he was used to feeling towards women. The need to show off,the jealousy,the protectiveness.

In his confusion he asked his sweet mother for advice. He sat at her bed and held her hands with desesperation in his voice.

--Mama, tell me...is it normal to feel these things? Jerico is a Man but I get all flustered when they are around,I cant stand it when him and Claudia are laughing together and-

His mom puts a hand on his shoulder,she smiles and though her grief is far from gone she does soothe her son with only one look-- Its quite normal,your father experienced the same.

--I...thats nice to hear-- He admitted,his racing heart slowly settling,--What should I do? How do I court a Man?

María laughed and shook her head-- Its not a matter of Man or woman,you should make them feel seen and loved. Thats all. Just hear them,spend time with them. Itll take time,of course...

He nodded slowly-- Grazie mama

It began then a slow dance of awkward flirting. He would ask jeri seemingly random questions like what was their favorite flower,or animal-

Casual hang outs like horseback riding,or simply sitting as they draw in their Journal and he sharpens his blade. Love has never felt so easy to him now that he knows where to step and what to do.

But stil,there is something hes yet to figure out.

Jerico had their own separate bathroom in the mansion, many times they had to stop training out of the blue as they held their navel.

He knew his sister and mom knew,but neither would tell him. Mario would tease him about how he should have figured it out already...

Its frustrating...and even years later he was still unsure.

By 1480, his fate and search for vengeance led him to venice. He was to board a vessel with Leonardo and Jerico whom insisted to go with the intention to aid him. They packed a lot more than what was necessary...but he just chalked it up to their "always be ready" rule.

There was a slight complication, Neither him or his assasin friend had a pass to board the vessel. But he was a crafty, and lucky Man.

A woman was stranded on the rocks nearby the docks. Something about her small boat crashing- Ezio saved her,and the woman Turned out to be Caterina Sforza,the wife of a very powerful Man in italy.

The point is thats how he gets his pass for him and his friend. As the vessel leaves,Leonardo says:

--Do you know who that woman is?

--My next conquest--Ezio said with this sly grin. Jeri grumbled under their breath.

--Thats woman is Caterina Sforza-- the artist explained with urgency-- And her husband-

--Husband?!--Screeched the male assasin.

--Si,her husband is the marquis of Forlì. She is as dangerous and ruthless as she is beautiful and young. -- Leo Warned.

--Sounds like my kind of woman-- Ezio said with that air hes been carrying of smugness and arrogance.

Jerico was having none of it, however. They stomp on his foot and glare at him-- Think with your upper head,not the Lower one you animal. Dont go sticking your dick where it doesnt belong,you'll get us all in trouble...

They began to leave for the tripulation quarters to get some rest,Ezio had yelped at the pain in his foot but then he tried to call his friend back.

--Jerico! Come on...hey-!

But they didnt hear him..

--What got into them?

Leonardo had a brow raised,he wasnt blind. He could tell all ghe little stolen glances,the complicit smiles...--Be mindful of how you speak about women around them,they dont seem to like it.

--You talk as if they were jealous!--The artist looked at him intently-- Oh you have to be joking.

--I know what I saw...

Ezio dismissed his words with a wave of his hand--Jer and I are just fr-- he doesnt have the heart to say it out loud.

--Youre just what? --leo prodded like a starving animal looking for food. He would never tire if messing with Ezio.

--Theyre not jealous,ive never seen them jealous. Why would they be? Jealousy is more of a romantic thing and we- well...

--Si,si,youre very close-- Leonardo smirked-- Id suggest you get some rest too,its a bit of a trip. Then you should check in with your "friend".

It takes everything in ezio for him not to punch the artist when he makes air quotation marks on the Word "friend".

One of these days,hes sure to knock him flat on his ass.

One of these days...

-♡-

Jerico saw ezio approach,they turn their back to him and try to make themself comfortable on the hammock. They cant sleep with the swaying of the ship,what a pain in the ass.

--Jer...-- ezio said softly,putting a hand on the clasp that held the hammock aloft.

--Go away,Ezio-- They grumble,closing their eyes-- Im trying to sleep.

--No youre not...--He insisted,knowing fully well theyre just lying to his face-- What is it? Talk to me.

--How about you go talk to the Signora Sforza hm? -- they didnt mean to let their jealousy show. But it was really hard.

"Oh my god" he thought,his chest fluttering"they are jealous!" That fluttering soon makes his heart drop to his feet with utter dread. No,no he doesnt want them mad at him!.

--It was just a joke! She is a married woman and I know better than that...--He leaned closer,moving his hand to settle on his Friends bicep--Please forgive me,I was insenstive.

They sigh,a deep and long breath. --Fine. Yes. Just mind your words Next time.

--Of course,of course-- He answered--May...I join you? Your hammock seems the most stable out of the others...

Jer shuffled,a little flustered. But they do make space for him,and he lays down too.

--Ah,no way to sleep with the way this thing is moving.--He said.

--No. But its good go rest your eyes-- their voice had softened now. And their back presses against his,making him tense and his heart skip a beat.

--So long as we get to venice in one piece..--He grumbled,missing the comforts of the Villa Auditore.

--Amen...-- jer snickered, its some kind of divine justice that he suffers a little for being so spoiled.-- At least the hammocks are comfortable.

--No,theyre not.

--To you,perhaps. Anyway,good night ezio!

--Hey! Dont leave me alone! I can see you smirking!

Its going to be a long trip.

-♡-

Reaching Venezia was a relief,Jerico helped Leonardo unload his stuff and as they take a breather while sitting on one of the crates,the artist couldnt help but ask.

--Were you jealous of Caterina?

Jeri gave him a nasty,nasty glare that makes him jump. But then they recent and say-- Yes I was. Its just- God, everything would be easier if he knew..

--Knew what?

They stand up and walk closer,urging him to do the same.--I beg you you dont tell him a Word of this, please.

--My lips Are sealed.

They breathe out and put their hands together-- im...a woman. Okay? I was born a woman but I...I dont always feel like one. Sometimes I feel like a boy,sometimes neither and sometimes both. I dont want ezio to know..

--Because youre afraid he Will treat you differently?--He asked, and they nodded-- fear not my friend,I Wont tell a soul. But I understand your conondrum, you want his attention on you,romantically. Without compromising your autonomy.

Jeri nodded again-- Thank you for understanding-- they made a short pause,a little more bashful now-- I- I also have something else to ask you. Youre familiar with female anatomy?

--Yes,I am.

--Well,My period is soon to come. I would need your help with getting something or making something for the bleeding. Something that lets me move and all

Leo smiled and patted his Friends arm-- Ill see what I can do. Thank you for trusting in me-- he takes their hands-- And worry not about these subjects. Never been the one to be interested in women so I hold no such prejudices,if you know what I mean.

--I do--they give him a complicit look and a nodd. Both laugh and thats when Ezio comes in with the last few things they needed to get from the boat.

--Okay,What did I miss?--He gave Leo a nasty look, and jer giggled as both pulled away.

--Just a private chat,Ezio. Worry not. -- they reassure.

--Right. Right..--He sets down the last of the baggage and wraps an arm around Jer,pulling them to him.

Thats when their tour guide arrived,someone hired by the same family that hired Leonardo and his services as an artist. Along the way,trouble found the assasins but Ezio promised he would handle it himself.

Jerico stayed to protect and help Leonardo settle into his New workshop. It was a good way of bonding with someone of their similar kind, Someone out of the norm.

--Women are alright but..I mean men are so much better!--Leonardo said,setting his supplies on a shelf-- Strong and burly..

They laughed-- Women have their charms,you unos?--He looked over his shoulder back at them,  surprised.

--Do you...?

--Yes.

--Oh,would you look at that-- he smiled-- well I imagine they have,but they never caught my eye -- he laughed,and they did too.

--I imagine they dont-- they Grab a few of the canvas and set them up on another shelf-- I do hope Ezio wont treat me any differently when he finds out.

--I dont think he Will.

--Just...it sucks I have to hide for people to see who I truly am...-- their voice grows softer,decaying at the grief of the ruse they live with each and every day.

--It is a pity-- Leo admits,stopping What hes doing to turn towards his friend-- Not much to do at this time,but for what is worth I do think Ezio wont change his mind. I think he Will be surprised,yes, but he wont change

--I do hope so-- they pull their hands away from the canvas and smile awkwardly.

--Aw,come here you-- he walks up to them and gives them a big,big hug. They hug back and giggle-- Itll be alright,you'll see. If the glare he gave me today isnt enough of an indicator, id say hes quite whipped for you

They snicker-- Que Dios te oiga (May god hear you)

--Indeed-- He smiles-- Hey,how about you show me your art? Ive never seen something quite like the things you make. A chat,artist to artist.

They grin-- id love that.

-♡-

Ezio has been dealing with some corrupt officials, and now hes going after Emilio Barbarigo. A Man that ruled Venezia with an iron fist,very possibly a templar too. It was a good lead to start, and so Jerico agreed to stay with Leonardo in the meantime.

Which was perfect,because their period had arrived unceremoniously and they were suffering a little.

--What is it with these bloody rags?--Ezio had seen the bucket in which the menstrual rags were being washed. Jeri's face goes bright red and Leonardo has to intervene.

--Just clean up from my usual autopsies,nothing to worry about. --He smiled-- the city has agreed to give me their deceased for research just like it happened in Florenzia.

The assasin nodded--Ah,I see. Nevermind,then

Leo and Jer exchanged relieved looks, and when Ezio left the workshop, the remaining assasin let out a strained scream of embarassment.

--Its passed-- their friend tried to comfort them,patting their back.

--Im. So. Embarassed.-- Jer whined.

He could only feel bad and hold them Gently.

-♡-

When ezio called upon them to help him stop the assasination of the Doge,an important venetian official, they were stoked. By then their period had left which was all fine and dandy by them.

The Palazzo Ducale,The Doge's home and where the possible killing would take place,was heavily guarded. It took a day long  recon to find a possible place to enter from,and even then it was imposible.

But then he remembered the invention Leonardo was working on- A machine that would make humans fly. And so...that was their ticket in. It took some finaggling, a lot of Leonardo bouncing around with blueprints and having a stroke of genius in a moment of utmost frustration. But they made it work.

The machine would only Carry Ezio,but once he cleared the guards Jerico would join him.

--Hey,be careful with that thing-- jerico said,not out of concern for the machine.

--Ah,dont worry -- Ezio quipped with that charm of his. His arm brings them in for a side hug-- Im built strong.

--Yeah but we cant rebuild you like we can with this machine..

--Hm,yes-- He agreed-- But worry not my dear.

The Word dear makes their heart skip a beat--Good luck...-- they add,before grasping the neck of his robe and tugging him close for a kiss on the cheek.

He grinned and took one of their hands. He kissed their knuckles and said-- Dont worry! Ill be back in one piece,I dont want to leave all alone

Jer scoffed-- And I dont want to live in a world where youre not here with me. So you better Keep your promise!

After doing a cross over his heart he winks at them and leaves for the tower hes supposed to basically throw himself off of to reach the Palazzo Ducale. His body feels light and he cant stop smiling,and his fellow assasin is a mess of giggles and bashfulness.

-♡-

In the end,it was all for naught. By the time Ezio reached the palazzo Doge was already dying- And in the end the assasin was framed for the murder,making him the most wanted Man in all of Venezia.

As a good Assasin he hid in the shadows,Watching how the New Doge was put in place- a terrible templar. For five years he hid,Jerico his loyal companion and without them all this would have gotten the better of him a long time ago.

It was a matter of time

It had to be.

Years of knowing eachother, he must have seen some sign. You would think he would have realized,but danger and circumstance were good cover for the small things. Jericos period,showering alone and the few times the bandages got too cumbersome they were able to hide it with clothes...given they have always been on the smaller side.

It was as funny as it was frustrating.

By the time 1486 rolled around,both assasins had managed to reccuperate resources And strength. Not only that,both had found pieces of the codex of the brotherhood which meant more upgrades for their blades. Which meant a visit to Leonardo.

Leonardo recieved his Friends with Open arms and joy, he was worried about their whereabouts since they never visited. But by then The Carnavale (carnival) had rolled around-People would go around using masks and both could walk the streets safely.

Ezios mask was pretty normal, acrually it was one the artist just happened to have at hand. But Jers mask was bound to be different,at their request no less. Leo was more than happy to oblige and make a separate design.

In the end their mask is a thing of Beauty. Oval shaped,with a curling line that cut the face in two. The right side was decorated with sun and Sky Motifs, gold, cream and yellow with one big sun on the forehead with one of its sunrays falling past the eye that had a bright red,upside down lash design on the Lower part of the eye. There is another big sun by their jaw.

The other half was decorated with themes of nature. Two big sunflowers stood out first,one at the forehead and another down at the jaw area. Vines,leafs and red flowers sprawled about the dark green surface.

--Beautiful-- ezio complimented with a grin.

--Oh please it was Jericos idea.-- Leo dismissed-- go on then,try it on.

Jeri smiles and puts it on,it sits well on their face and they can easily breathe in it. -- comfy enough.

--Then we can go.--The male assasin said-- see you later,Leonardo.

--Of course!--The artist said-- be careful!

Both assasins nodd and leave for the streets of Venezia,wrapped up in the joyful carnival,ornate masks, music and revelry.

Above them the night Sky shone with the moon and stars. The air is cool and easy on the skin, it runs through the streets like a playful child, making banners and signs move to its rythm.

The streets are filled with light and life,its a beautiful thing.

Its a thing to behold.

--Think we'll have time to dance before the carnevale ls over?--They reached the brothel where their rebel friend was.

--Hopefully. -- ezio smiled-- Lets see what we can do.

Their rebel contact and thr Lady running the brothel tell the pair they Will find their templar target at the grand ball hes throwing. Issue was they would need a golden mask- And they couldnt forge one given they where numbered.

Luckily they are able to win one in a nearby congregation of eager peseants that dreamed to see what the upper class spent their nights doing. The Man orgnizing the events gave Ezio a few tests and games to play to win it. Needless to say he was to get the mask- But of course Dante and another templar were there to mess things up.

Money moved and the mask was swiftly ripped away from its rightful winner. Even as the crowd booed...

They would get in one way or another...

-♡-

Stealing the mask back was easy with the help of the brothel's girl. With some words exchanged they let jeri in as Ezios plus one.

Both hide out from Dante until their target comes out to give their speech. Once assasinated both run away and lose the guards along the way.

After Reporting to their rebel friend and Teodora,they can finally rest.

The moment Teodora suggests her girls "comfort" the man,Jerico grabs Ezio by the hand and forearm and asks him to talk alone.

In one of the spare rooms of the brothel,jerico practically drags him in. Its easy to tell theyre jealous,and he cant help but find it adorable.

--Youre jealous of the girls now?--He teased,still holding the Mans hand-- They could help you too

They rolled their eyes-- I dont care for that. -- they sigh and step a little closer,feeling the air of the nearby Windows and balcony brush past them-- I just- I told you I wanted to dance before the carnevale is over...

Ezio chuckled,taking off his mask-- hm,well what kind of fri- Man would I be If I didnt accept a dance. Especially from a young Man such as yourself

Jeri smiles,and allows him to pull them into a dance right after they take off their mask. The music outside still echoed right into that room, they both begin to move and waltz across the floor.

Silence falls, though its merely to hear the song being played. Their gazes meet and they are pulled a little closer to his chest,they let out a breathy giggle and he does the same.

Ezio spins them to then pull them right in,and he gives them that dashing smile of his. A kind,noble man- A heart of gold and brave.

Perhaps they judged him a little too fast,yes he was a ladiesman but.. just like them he was so much more.

What Irony...

Both dance across the room with ease,the steps coming naturally to them both. Their eyes lost in the others,breathing in the cool air of the night. An unspoken conversation through the waltz,hands that held eachother no matter if they were both men.

Its just a matter of having fun,leaving everything else behind. And its now jerico realizes...they should tell him now.

The song ends a few minutes later,and there the silence stays. The air is thick with expectancy,and tonight surely promises a few confessions to be made.

--Jerico i...--The Man began,moving the hand on their waist to stroke their forearm and hold their free hand-- well its hard to say,I never experienced this with a Man before...but after all these years...I- I am in love with you. And I think youre in love with me too..

--Yeah,i am in love with you--They smile-- But I have to tell you something too. Im..not who you think I am.

--I see no world where youre a templar

It makes them laugh-- not that. Its just-Im not a Man,biologically I mean.--They pull away,a little meek.

The face he makes is priceless--Come again?

--Im not a guy,never been. I sometimes feel like a Man,others a woman-- they explain shaking off their cape and loosening their Many belts-- Sometimes both,or neither.

--How...Ive known you for so long. --His face goes bright red when they undo their undershirt-- You dont need to show me.

--You have to be kidding me,youre getting embarassed now?--They smirk,wanting to cackle at the irony.

--Well- I- Its just...--He looked away.

--Look,i didnt tell you before because I was a afraid..I know and see how you treat women. And i didnt want to be another "conquest".

He turns to them with urgency,he takes their face in his hands and says-- youre so much more than that. I could never see you like that because- Because I love you.

--I love you too. But you know the Word is not kind to women. And i had to do what I needed to survive.

--Its okay,I understand. I dont blame you for it-- he reassured with a warm smile. But then things begin to click, all those little things he could never make sense of- the bloody rags,their smaller frame,the perpetual bandages around their chest-- im such an idiota! God...how didnt I realize?

--Youre a bit thick in the head-- they couldnt themself and laugh.

He feels embarassment's burn and he looks away from those eyes hes loved for so Long-- im sorry.

--Dont be,Its funny.

--Does Mario know?

--Of course...

--And my mother and sister too...-- he purses his lips and looks at them with his eyes half closed in annoyance--Oh you- Come here-- He grins and pulls them in for a kiss. They kiss back and hug his neck.

Ezio pulls jerico to him and guides them to the nearest bed. He kisses them like theyre his treasure,because they are- this kiss is just for them, loving and genuine because he just wants them...for so long he thought he wouldnt be able to be with them but he can.

Men,women or neither or both.. he Will hace them in any way.

--The nights still young-- Jeri says with a smile,hands on the Man's chest

--There are Many ways of celebrating-- He shrugged,pulling them in for a hug-- c'mere,Amore. 

Relief washed over jerico and snuggled closer,the rest of the carnavale night is spent together-Talking,laughing, nothing had to change from before. They were still the person he fell in love with,and they never stopped loving him.

[giornos-mother]

I mentioned it on Bluesky but will mention it here too to describe my feelings.

Sometimes i wish Meta gets its CEO replaced soon because the amount of shit i've seen on Instagram reels is insane and disheartening.

Because tf you mean now you're allowing people to be sexist/misogynist, racist, lgbtphobic, pedophile but not anyone going against these?

I want to leave Instagram but it's the only place where i can be able to communicate with my friend (as she's active there mostly), i want to leave Facebook but it's also the only place where i can be able to communicate with my family (as they're active there mostly), WhatsApp, the same with FB.

[keebiecoo]

people/society need to be more kind & gentle to guys, especially marginalized guys

men & boys are not more dangerous, or strong, or durable, or horny, or ugly, or mean, men & boys shouldn't have to act masc to be seen as men, men & boys shouldn't have to seem more meek or less masc to be seen as less threatening

anyway, feel free to add anything guy-positive here, i love men

[the-immortal-child]

even as she held his throat between her hands, even as she squeezed, she didn’t know whether she was saving herself or sealing her own doom. but after she did it, she looked up into the mirror beside his bed and saw him dead and herself dirty and broken and unloved and alive—alive maybe for the first time—and couldn’t help crying. and for the first time in her life, the tears she shed were his pleasure, but hers.

── A Doll's heart, by calumnyandlies.

[normystical]

*in a youtube short, a man/boy rejects a woman's advances*

me: this is very good because men can be victims of sexual harrassment but nobody talks about this so it's good he's being praised in this video for rejecting her unwanted sexual advances rather than being deemed gay or pathetic or something like that which is an unfortunately common response to be given to such men

the comments: this is very good because women suck and we gotta be on that sigma male grindset and did i mention i fucking hate women

me: oh

[project-sekai-takes]

mmj and l/n are only hated/ignored sm by the fandom bc they have no male members and more ppl need to talk ab that

as for n25, i feel like most only care about them for angst because their branded as the “sad emo group” even tho a lot of ppl completely ignore l/n and mmj’s stories which are arguably just as if not more “angst-able” and well written.

im tired of blatant sexism in fandom and pjsk is not an exception okay bye

.

[notdefendingtaylor]

Okay, maybe this is something obvious to everyone, but I'm from Russia and I've never heard about Matty Healy. Wikipedia (in russian, at least) says he defends women's and LGBT rights, and is engaged in political activism. But I can see that the western fandom hates him, why? And what's the story about him and Taylor Swift, they were really dating, and if he was really doing terrible things, how could she not know that? I'll be grateful for an explanation.

you are going to get my understanding of the situation here, which is what every answer i give is, lol.

matty is kind of a wannabee performance artist who makes shock statements sometimes to provoke conversation, but he has espoused liberal ideals like gay marriage rights and even kissed a bandmate on stage in Malaysia in protest of that country's anti-LGBT laws, leading to possible criminal prosecution under Malaysia's laws. some of his controversies include saying at one point that dating taylor would be "emasculating" in 2016 (ironic now lol), using a possible/probable nazi salute onstage as a way of criticizing kanye west (don't quite see his rhetoric/artistic vision there), and twitter scuffles that have led him to delete his accounts a few times. BUT the biggest problem swifties/the general public have is this:

"Healy appeared on the leftist irony podcast The Adam Friedland Show in February 2023. He agreed to be a guest partly to provoke a reaction from his fanbase." [My note: the phrase "chubby Chinese lady" was used in the episode to describe artist Ice Spice and the participants in the podcast episode took turns doing racially offensive accents]

"Healy also joked about watching internet pornography in which black women are 'brutalised', supposedly from the controversial website Ghetto Gaggers."

"He [later] admitted to 'oppositional'' behaviour and 'exaggeration of my shit'" (US accessed Wikipedia)

My hot take: he's kind of an annoying edgelord who loves to spark controversy then run away/deactivate/sulk when it doesn't endear people to him. I don't think he's smart enough to make these lofty points he thinks he's making and it makes the 'artistic' statement seem completely baseless and lacking ANY merit when he folds like a cheap chair the second it's challenged. I think he's a bit like taylor in that his obsession with public acceptance seems to be at odds with any attempts to be a contrarian or trailblazer or whatever. lukewarm performance art is just... sad. as for why taylor didn't know about his controversies, i think he wasn't under nearly as much scrutiny before the parasocial fan base sunk their hooks in and dug through the receipts and archives to 'vet' him for their queen.

[racc00ning]

"I'd love to talk to this person and say sorry depending on the context" (<- dream about calling ludwig's friend a whore) maybe im nitpicking w this one maybe idk but in what context is it okay to call someone a whore??

[whyispaflsoaddicting]

i cant believe it people are laingynistic

[voidselfshipp]

The Star and the Bladed Jasmine.

Cw: mentions of human trafficking. Altair is accidentally sexist. Some mentions of sexism as well because its the medieval ages and im AFAB.

Summary: after being stripped from his rank,returning to being a novice,Altair finds that perhaps this truly is a chance to try again from scratch. Maybe he finally finds something(or someone) worth fighting for that isnt his ego,or his legacy.

>only mutuals allowed to reblog.

Damascus' heat came down upon the populus with unreleting force. Only the assasins Bureau would host its kind, giving them some breathing room from the dry warmth of the desert.

As Altair steps in,pushing away the courtaind that covered the entrance to the main Office where Malik -His temporary superior in command- Was. He was painting a jar,killing time it seems.

--Ah,Altair welcome. I received Word of your coming-- the Man said with a polite smile,but also this sassyness.

Hes about to reply with his usual sarcastic tone and attitude, but then he notes the other person in the room. Theyre Clad in an assasins robe too,though their hood is pulled up and their head is down,Leaning against the wall. Now, who are they?

--Yes...indeed. you must be Malik,but who are they?--he asked,almost demanded.

Malik had to bite his tongue,he saw his protegé twitch before remaining silent. -- I would rather them make the introductions..

The person leaning against the wall looks up.

--Oh...--Altair muttered lowly,surprised to see the person. "I thought it was a myth" he said to himself internally.-- So there are women in the Creed...

Before him stood Jerico Herrero,the spanish runaway. The legend went that they had saved a master assasin in their childhood,and despite being a woman, they were taken in.

So it was them,then. They saved Malik and were taken in,trained under his wing and mentored. None would admit that a woman excelled in the brotherhood,but there was no doubt about the results and the trail of victory that followed in their step and legacy. Six years younger than him,and they remained intact and with their rank now well above his.

--Nice to meet you,Altair-- Jerico had said,pulling Back their hood-- Damascus welcomes you.

Its one thing to hear about the legend and other to see it. Indeed their skin was pale as Many spaniards often were- though they were just a little more tan because of the sun.

Green eyes meet his with friendliness but also just a bit of caution, and their brown hair with gold locks at the underside was tied in a tight bun. As he understood it the double coloration was a rare gene,but he was surprised to see that the back of their neck was shaven- Probably to blend in as a Man but also to combat the heat.

Though he must admit he can see from here their gender assigned at birth, sharp cheekbones,heart shaped face and round chin.

Jerico crosses their arms and he can see now the distinctive embroidered symbol on their left arm. A swirling sun.

--Greetings-- the Man simply answered,pulling his hood closer to his face to hide the darkening of his skin. He turns to Malik and says-- My target?

--Go to the district's square,you'll find him there. -- Malik answered.

Altair asked a few more things,got some things explained to him and left without much else. Jerico raised their brows and when they were once again alone with their mentor,they add:

--Not quite the friendliest of the bunch,huh?

--He was stripped from his rank because of his arrogance, Pay Him no mind if he becomes an annoyance-- Malik shrugged-- We'll see when he returns what he has to say.

They nodd,and go to rest by the fountain on one of the rooms. Above them the fence-like roof allowed for the sunlight to come in, the water flowed across the ground level aqueducts where vines crept up to wrap around the roof like a Canopy.

Tiled floor held carpets and cushions,and jeri lays down on one of the makeshift beds. They sling a leg over the other and put their arms behind their head.

When altair returns from killing his target,he enters through said room and hears somebody singing.

--You only feel it when it's lost

Getting through still has a cost

Quietly, it slips through your fingers, love

Falling from you drop by drop

Walking silently he enters the room with a fountain,finding that Jerico had undone their robes,leaving them in a loose shirt and their usual pants and shoes. They lean over the low wall of the water feature and mess with it,their hand moving back and forth,splashing around.

--What I had left here

I just held it tight

So someone with your eyes

Might come in time

To hold me like water

Or Christ, hold me like a knife

His face warms up,finding the lack of clothing a little too revealing- even if it was just normal to the average person. This felt oddly intimate and he felt bad for looking.

Quickly he scurries to talk with Malik about his mission being done. Altair would return to the assasin fortress in Masyaf the Next day.

There is a room for him to sleep and reccuperate,but he lingers by the courtain covered entrance to the fountain room to listen just a little more.

--We're born at night

So much of our lives

Is just carving through the dark

To get so far

And the hardest part

Is who we are

It's who we are

Jerico grew silent,and he heard them lie down. Thats his cue to leave for his room,but the singing would lure him to restful sleep. Trapped in his mind like echos in a cave.

Dinner eventually came,and Altair was just about ready to go to sleep when he saw Jerico take some supplies from malik's Office. Just a leather canteen and some basic snacks. He wondered if they got peckish at night but then they shoved it into a bag that they strapped to the harness across their chest.

--Sneaking out?--He asked,smirking as they jump a little.

--I- Not really. Just needed some fresh air..

--Shameful how I was able to sneak up on you-- he approached them as they went around Malik's counter/desk-- Youre nearing the rank of master assasin and yet...

They couldnt help but roll their eyes-- If you have nothing useful to say,Alrair,just shut up-- they begin Fix their bag's strap and begins to walk towards the exit through the fountain room.

--Where are you going?

--Out.

He scoffed-- i can see that,but where?

--Why do you care?

Altair follows after them-- I just want to know..

--Its not nice being on the other end of arrogance,Huh?--They said with a smirk as he sulks--im going to walk around town,you can come with if you promise to be nice

The Man rolled his eyes and Walked past the courtains,Jerico followed with giggles falling past their lips.

In no time they begin to run from rooftop to rooftop,climbing up buildings and towers. Jer points out a few neat spots like market squares, food houses, parks,and the like.

Altair finds their joyful chatter irritating and childish,but also he feels...endeared by it. Hes fighting this pull towards them,either out of pride or arrogance...

--Are you always like this?--He asked as both Walked across some hanging banners.

--How so?

--Irritagingly joyful.

--Your lack of happiness is life is a you issue.--They shrug-- Dont confuse joy with naivity,Altair.

He grumbled and hopped on the Next roof with them-- Are you like this in your assasin work?

--Mind your bussiness-- Jer replied.

Hes never heard a woman speak like that before. He blinks in surprise-- Excuse you?

--Mind your bussiness. I can be serious at my work,and be joyful outside of it.

--Disrespectful too?

They turn around and glare at him,they go up to him and Grab him by the neck of his robe. --Okay listen here,just because youre a Man it doesnt mean you get to step all over me. Also,dont forget my rank's higher than yours- Youre back to being a novice, so learn some respect.

With a harsh push he falls to his back and they Keep walking.

He looks at them,his heart beating out of his chest. He blinks with stupor,and he tries to ignore the blush across his cheeks. He didnt mean to sound like that- He didnt like being like that,Jer had earnt their place just like any other assasin...woman or not.

--Jerico...--He called out,standing up and following after them. They dont answer and Keep walking.-- jerico!

Up another building,across another roof. He calls their name to no avail until he finally catches up and grabs their forearm.

He hears their hidden blade slide out of its sheath and he raises his free hand.

--I didnt mean to sound like that-- Altair began,even with the shadow of his hood hiding his eyes they could see his gaze had softened.

--You sounded like a Real imbecil.

--I know,but I was wrong to say such things-- it hurts to apologize.

--You were-- they agree.

--This place is not kind to women. You've proven yourself,and I shouldnt doubt you or your experience...-- He has to forcefully push out the words,his pride kept squeezing his throat to shut him up but for some reason he  cant stand the idea of them being mad at him.

--You shouldnt-- they finished,breaking off his grasp. They soon resume their walking--Keep up...

In their walk he doesnt ask where they're going. Another Word and he might get Killed on the spot. But he sees they reach a tower,and go up to the very top where some rugs And cushions are.

They shake off their assasin robes and sit, looking up at the starry Sky above. He sits with them,a few centimeters away. Yet still he can feel the anger coming off of them.

He knows what he has to say,but the words wont come easy.

Yet there in that simple shirt,Jerico looks like the most beautiful thing hes ever seen. Those angry eyes slowly Relax,and hes witness to a warmth hes never felt before.

A moment of vulnerability,where theres no armor to hide what softness truly lies within. They breathe out,and their body relaxes,they lay down and rest their head on one of the cushions as they undo the bun their hair is tied into.

Wavy hair brushes against their trapezi,their face softer now.

Altairs breath gets caught and squeezed in his throat,as if trying to stop his heart from leaping into his mouth and dragging itself to his companion's hands.

His vocal chords tangle together,the words dont come out. His eyes try to turn to the Sky but he can only stare.

--What...?--they scowled when they notice his gaze. He feels bad for making them angry again...but theres a Beauty to that anger too.

--Nothing-- he finally looks away, And loses his gaze on the city beyond-- this place looks different at night,peaceful.

--Thats why i come here. To remind myself theres more than our work out there...

--We dont get the luxury of a normal life--He added,as if he spoke the unquestionable truth.

--Because we dont try...

He sighed --Because we cant

--Says who?

No answer comes,and he simply lays down on the rug and cushions. One arm behind his head and one hand resting on his chest. His hood falls and reveals his face,jeri stares for a bit and finds the Man quite handsome in a bitter way.

They Grab from their bag a leatherbound Journal and write away. He looks at them out of the corner of his eyes and takes in the now cool air of Damascus,yet a scent of perfume lingers...Jasmine and something akin to green Apple and vanilla.

--Youre named after a star,right?--They asked,some ten minutes later.

With the silence broken,which startled Him a little,he anwers-- In a way,yes. Why?

--Stars are gorgeous,but they burn away eventually.

He rolled his eyes-- im in no mood for metaphors.

--What do you want at the end of the day,Altair?-- They go Straight to the Point,then-- What else do you want than taking orders. We do help the world,but there Will come a time where theres little we Will be able to do. So I ask you,what then?

--You first...--he lied to mask his lack of answer.

--A home,with a place to make art. A garden too,and a few cats. -- they steal glances at him,they need to get the details right-- And people I love,family,Friends,lovers...

His heart leaps to his throat at that last part.

--Now you go-- they snickered.

Altair shrugged-- Tomorrow isnt promised,so why bother?

--No,answer.

He sighed and let his shoulders fall-- I dont know,happy?

--Yes. Think about that question and tell me when you figure it out.

Silence falls, and soon the night slips away. Jerico doesnt take Long to doze off in the tranquility of the night,and their Journal falls from their lap to the floor,open to reveal the drawing of his self and a poem,written in messy letters:

"There is something divine in simply being.

no eyes to judge you

Only the sun as your witness.

And when your armor is old and rusted.

What else is there left to say?

When the night draws to an end

And the dawn begins to peek

What else is there to you?

But what you cover behind old leather and steel."

Was this poem talking about him? Or was that wishful thinking? What did it mean if he resonated with the words on the page?. Art was meant to stirr something in people,and this piece managed just that.

Much to his chagrin,that is.

He tries to shake it off,and thinks he should let them slumber a bit more before returning to the bureau. 

Yet in the morning,Altair flees Like a coward. But as if to Mend his absence, he leaves flowers of jasmine on their Journal.

Jasmine, the flower associated with love,sensuality and Beauty. They wonder in their half asleep stupor where he had gotten them from.

They also wonder if he had in mind what their name meant: "City of fragance" and "city of the moon". They smell like Jasmine flowers,so its only fitting...

But they hold it as a promise that soon they'd see eachother again. And despite their fights,they look forward to it.

-♡-

Few days later,Malik told them to pack their bags and go to Jerusalem with him since Altair would need their help there. The Creed had Many bureaus scattered around Syria, so this was no surprise.

The layouts of each hideout was the same,so they found their way around the place quite easily. Oh,they couldnt way to see that grumpy assasin again.

Much to their luck,they wouldnt have to wait much.

Altair would come in a few days later after they settled. He walks in as he usually does with this air full of electricity that threatens to smite him down at the first misstep. Dangerous and fragile.

--Malik...--He greeted with that certain disdain for the Man,he sees Jeri is waiting behind the counter too,arms crossed--Jerico...

He wants to apologize for running away,but admitting such actions would kill him. Instead he asks about the trafficker hes looking for.

Just as hes about to leave,Jer stops him. They drag him into the room with the fountain and though he tries to break from their grip hes unssucesful. He sighs under his breath and those pretty brown eyes look at them from his hood.

He braces for the worst,he recoils into himself a little.

--Its good to see you-- they smile,making Him blink in surprise.

--Uh...Yes. its good to see you too.--He answered,trying to save some face and dignity.

They cant help but laugh-- Thank you for the flowers...

Altairs face darkens, he looks away and scratches the back of his neck-- I dont know what youre talking about.

Jerico snorts-- of course you dont.

He hates how they look at him,Like they have him all figured out. He wants desperately to prove theyre wrong,but ultimately he Will accidentally give them the reason every time.

Their hands Gently reach to fix his hood,he pulls back a little like a scared animal but they insist. Their touch is gentle,they pull the cloth Lower so his face is hidden.

Oh but being this close...

Jasmine and green Apple,that vanilla too. He shuffles closer on instinct,he hangs his head low like a child.

--Good luck-- Jer says,pulling back.

In the back of his mind he has the impulse to Grab their wrists and bring them close to him again.--Thank you. -- Its all he says before leaving the way he came in.

When the assasin is out of earshot,Malik walks from his spot and looks at his protegé. He has this tiny smirk and a slightly dissapointed look in his gaze.

--Hes awful,you can do better.

From one of their pouches they take out one of the now dried jasmine petals. --Hm,yeah. But I like him.

Malik shook his head-- Please dont.

--You cant stop me

At that,he does smile just a little-- Never could,and I dont think I ever Will...

-♡-

Malik had just about enough of Altairs shit,not only did the news of his killing of the trafficker spread through the town like wildfire,but he also had managed to be chased by the templars for a few solid blocks.

He got the job done yes,but he forgot one of the three sacred laws of the creed: Act in the shadows.

But...

Jerico had to admit hearing Maliks sarcasm was a gift.

--Ive Killed the trafficker--Altair told his superior,this cocksure air about him surrounded his form.

--Oh yes,Ive heard, ive heard. Me and HALF THE CITY!

It was really hard for Jeri to not burst out laughing,but when Malik left to calm his nerves,they approach with this amused glint in their eyes.

With their arms crossed over their chest,they say--Im not here to chastisize you over your mission,Maliks done enough.

--Yeah, well, I see him turning grey already...-- Was that humor? Him? Funny?.

--was that...humor?

--I can be funny--He grumbled.

--Right..

Jerico chuckles and he grumbled. Its like seeing a hissy cat,it doesnt matter that hes a grown Man. Still pouty and adorable.

Altair cant help but feel a little nervous,he doesnt know why but its very frustrating to him. He doesnt have time for things like this, hes an assasin- he doesnt get nervous-

Oh his palms are very sweaty.

Must be the heat,right?

Oh god,he should say something- how long was he quiet for?

--Hey,Its been a day I get it--Jeri smiled Gently,its so beautiful to see. He can see these little pockets above their mouth like dimples. --I know a spot we can relax,and we can give Mali some much needed space.

Sounds nice... and hes not ready to return to Masyaf just yet..

--Fine,we go now?

--Yeah,cmon.

"I know a spot" they said.

Theyve been walking for a solid hour,Uphill.

The rocks around do little to hide them from the sun,theres only sand and dead vegetation. Above them vultures fly,dark spots in the blue Sky,  wondering if these two robed idiots are their Next meal.

Crunching steps is all he hears,sweat goes down his forehead and his lips purse with frustration. Hes tried to Ask where in the fuck were they going,but he never got a Straight answer.

--If you dont tell me right now im turning back-- He bit when his throat was dry.

--We're almost there-- they insist,taking his wrist-- c'mon...

They go into a cave,a passage of hard rock that smells like mildew and humidity. But its a lot colder than the outside,which is very nice.

Five minutes later he sees the end of the cave,green vines wrap around the entrance and he feels that scent of jasmine.

--Its my little paradise...--They gesture to what they came here for.

Between the Hills theres a waterfall, it leads into a lake where palm trees,oranges and figs grow. He sees jasmine bushes all around,the water is clear and looks cold.

Off to the side he sees a small refuge made of wood and palm leaves,pressed against one of the Hills that hid the Valley from view.

--How did you find this place?--Altair steps past the cave,jeri following after him as he walks up to the refuge.

--I went up this hill for a mission,recon. On my way here I found the cave and heard rushing water...its been my secret,and now its yours too.

He had to fight back a smile-- I wont tell a soul.--At the little refuge he takes off his robes And hikes up his pants up to his knees.

Jeri takes off their assasin outfit,and altair almost has a heart attack when they take off their shirt. Thankfully,a hefty layer of cloth hid their chest,though he notices now they Carry this pendant..

Its seemingly made out of coconut Shell,a cream colored sun contrasts against the brown material. It has decorative beads and its tied within a blackish brown cord. Their thumb goes over it absentmindedly.

--Where did you get that?--He asked,genuienly curious.

--Childhood memento--They answer with a shrug, their shoulders and back are covered in acne but to him it only makes them prettier.

--Its...pretty. you wear it well.

Jeri began entering the lake,sighing in relief at the coolness of the water--Thank you...

Altair stays on the shallow part of the lake,and he refuses their invitation to go to the deeper parts of the water. He simply sits and breathes in the fresh air,his body relaxes and his eyes close.

His head rests on the sand,and hes unaware of the love filled look hes getting from his companion.

Theres the ghost of a smile on his lips,it shows off the scar he carries there. His body is toned, Athletic,and his brown skin is covered in little scars here and there. Though theres a nasty one above his navel.

They know its from when Al-Mualim made him be "reborn".

Pushing their hands closer to themself,they try to fight the urge to trace his muscles and sit on his lap. They sink Lower into the water up to under their nose so they can breathe.

Hes so beautiful, they wonder if he knows just how much.

Jerico looks away,and swims towards the deeper parts of the lake. They sink so their head gets wet too, just to avoid a heatstroke.

And so a few minutes go by.

--Altair,do you not know how to swim?--They ask at some point.

The Man startles to attention and he looks away. The skin at the base of his neck and his cheeks darken-- Of course I do...

They raised their brows-- I dont believe you.

--Your problem.

--Come to me then,show me.

--Ive got nothing to prove you. -- he grows silent afterwards,ignoring how soon his friend swims up to him.

Crossing their arms,they add--I can teach you.

--I dont need teaching...

Jerico went to take his hands,he looks at them with very badly concieved flusteredness. He tries to fight them off but hes too bashful to properly break their grasp.

Gently, very Gently,they guide him to a deeper part of the lake. And though hes reluctant and bratty,he allows them to teach him how to swim.

He feels like a baby antelope,hes shaky and unsure and having their hands all over his body isnt really helping either. But he would be a liar if he said he didnt like it.

When hes able to properly float, he ventures further into the lake. He stops to admire the waterfall,wondering where it might come from.

--Are you a dolphin now?--he asked when Jeri began to circle him playfully. He turns around to Keep up with them.

--Maybe--They swim up to him and put their hands on his shoulders,his hands go to grasp their hips but he stops midway.

--I- Uhm.

Its so cute to see him this bashful. Dangerous,yes,but fragile.

--Can I say something?--They asked,a little meek.

--...sure.

--Youre...very pretty-- seeing them shy was a treat for the eyes. Jericos gaze is a little apologetic but he desperately wants to tell them they have nothing to apologize for-- Thats all...

The compliment makes his face darken,his arms awkwardly hug their hips and brings them closer.-- Youre...pretty too-- he means his words but theyre hard to say for a Man like him.

Yet the smile he gets..he wants to see more of it. Like the sun is shinning down on him,a joy hes never experienced before. He tugs them a little closer and simply rests his head on their shoulder. Its warm from the sun,and still they smell of sweet jasmine.

--Hey,Altair...--They say softly,as if it was a secret. As if they werent alone in this Valley-- I like this softer side of you.

--Im not...soft.

--You have a good heart,you just need to pull your head out of your ass.-- They press a hand on his cheek and kiss the other.

It makes his heart skip a beat,and hes not sure how to answer. But he doesnt let them swim away,no. He leads them to the waterfall,unsure what he wants to do.

The droplets from the water splatter all over them both like perfect morning dew. He reaches to clean away the water that gets stuck on their long lashes. 

Up close theyre even prettier,and those sun kissed cheeks...

His thumb is careful as he goes down their cheeks to their jaw. He traces the curve of their face and its clear in his eyes hes not sure what hes doing,but they didnt tell him to stop.

Stopping at the base of their neck,he retreats his hand back into the water,and he breaks the hug just a little. He feels like hes done something wrong.

Theyre too good for him.

--Altair?--They call his name like its a hymn,a holy thing.

--Its fine-- he said softly, looking away.

Jeri reaches for him and their hand finds purchase on his bicep-- Whats the matter?

--I said its fine-- he insisted, his heart beating against his chest. God,what is he supposed to do?

--Do you want to get out?

He shook his head--Not with this heat.

Their lips purse and they try to Gently tug him back to them. His arm moves but his body doesnt. He is silent yet his mind has too Many thoughts- He shouldnt court them if hes not sure he wants a marriage.

Assasins dont get normal lives.

But he loves them so much.

He loves being around them.

He wants this,can he have this?

Can he have them?

--Altair,please.

With a sigh,he shakes them off. But hes gentle in doing so. Simply,he swims to the shore,grabs one of the Oranges and sits within the shade of the makeshift refuge.

He doesnt dare to meet their gaze,he simply eats and jerico sinks into the lake.

Both stay until night,Altair has the decency to make a Fire for them both. They sit there to look at the stars once again,awkward and tense silence between them.

Hes acting like a child. He knows well.

--You deserve something better--He finally says.

They look at him-- Thats what all this is about?

A sigh leaves him-- Jerico..

--Have you ever thought that maybe,just maybe,I want you.

--Why? You havent known me for that Long. I have nothing to offer.

They push him,and he looks at them with that serious expression of his. Under the moonlight he looks very soft and almost sad.

--Are you stupid? -- They Ask plainly-- Do you think I want you for material goods? You have a noble heart,and youre trying your best. Youre hard headed, stubborn and even a little irritating..but you can be soft.

--I- Dont be ridiculous...

Jerico rolls their eyes-- Altair? Look at me.

He sighs,and looks at them-- What?

They go in for a brief,gentle kiss. When they pull back,his face is dark with blush and his fists are balled up. The look in his eyes is priceless. He looks away and slowly relaxes his hands

--Youre so cute --They giggle,and he groans.-- A little star...

--Dont call me that

--You cant stop me.

--Dont try me.

He wants payback now and maybe another kiss. He grabs their wrist and pulls them swiftly against him,his lips meet theirs Gently.

Jerico kisses back,closing their eyes and letting him find his footing in the kiss. His arms can only hug them,its all he really wants anyway. For a Man like him,his kisses are shy and unsure.

Yet theres obviously this deep love hes unsure on how to Express. Hes gentle,but he wants more.

Its the kiss of a Man whose never known a lovers touch yet now that he does he wont ever get enough.

--Will you try?--they ask softly as they pull away-- Give us a chance I mean.

He looks away and presses their forehead to his. Its his way of saying Yes. He pulls them into a hug,and both lay down in the sand.

Both Will return to Jerusalem in a few hours,but for now the world could wait. Their work could wait.

Yet when hes due to leave the Next day,he does write a letter he leaves on their night stand with a bouquet of fresh jasmine flowers. He gives them a brief kiss on the lips,which leaves him giddy and flustered.

The letter read as follows:

"My bladed jasmine...

Though my work calls for my leave,I watched you rest before I even thought about getting dressed.

I dont understand your kindness,but I know why you do it. You wish to see a world where there is love in every corner, i once called you childish for it- But I see now that it is not naive to want a better world. Much to my chagrin this journey I am on seems to humble me with every step I take.

I Will Carry the scent of jasmine wherever the Creed might take me. Ive asked Al-Mualim to assign you as a companion if I ever require one.

And I have the answer to that question you made me. Partially,at least.

What do I want for my life beyond the Creed? I want you, I dont know where fate might take us. But I dont care so long as I have you,Wether that be in a home with cats and a garden,together in the brotherhood. I want you,and thats all. The rest Will come as it May.

Rest now,dream of sweetness.

Yours,Altair.

Ps: speak of this to no-one. I have a reputation to mantain".

For all his arrogance,there was a gentleness to him. Perhaps he was hardened by his past,but this New chance at life shows him that softness is never a weakness.

That love has found him after so long,and that dreaming of a better future isnt naive- but a key part to living..and why the assasins have been hard at work for so Many Centuries now.

He has something to fight for now,not the Creed, not his personal values,or his pride or arrogance.

No,its his sweet,bladed jasmine. To whom he Will always be their little star.

[noctilu-uca]

THIS IS A CHARACTER STUDY OF FUCKED UP CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!! I DONT CONDONE ANY OF THIS SHIT I JUST THINK THEY ARE A FREAK AND I NEED TO PUT THEM UNDER A MICROSCOPE and also kinda fandomstudy just read ok tw sensitive and triggering topics though

(1,839 word count) I was talking to some fellow fans earlier and they got to the topic of character popularity and socially convenient character designs

Things i had never considered before .

Very IMPORTANT things on a characters perception

So basically what brought it up was a character being brought up, roman. Now I know like only 1 person will know who i'm talking about BUT ! his character is extremely important for the point i'm making. And roman isn't very popular in this fandom, he has some fans, yes. As does every character but he is not nearly as popular as the others. Someone had pointed out that they thought he would be more popular if he had the "pretty boy" archetype design that's been booming in popularity as of recent. which is definitely a good topic to hang onto, but that's not very much the issue here. we will get to that later though.

Roman as a character is traditionally masculine, short buzzed hair, short eyelashes, muscular ect ect all the things you would associate with tradmasc fuckboys. This is very important to the way he behaves and thinks, he very much values masculinity and denounces femininity of any kind if its not from a tradwoman.

Note that everyone i'm going to mention is fucking awful and disgusting please. and this is also horror. topics mentioned can get very uncomfortable stay wary soldiers

Anyway despite roman's traditional masculinity, he is still a very attractive character !! He is considered one of the more attractive ones in canon too. His personality though ? Yeugh....

Hes a "white knight" feminist whose actually a misogynist and active has issues with anger and PHYSICALITY .

Aka everyone thinks hes going to beat his girlfriend one day. He hasn't yet, but there is very much an underlying *when*

Now, this is like whatever ok we expected that its tlc everyones fucked but whhhyyyy does everyone like sibling kisser and sti guy more ??

I mean hey one of these fuckers actively preys on their step sibling, but why is he regarded as one of the better characters ?? (He absolutely is but that's a story for another day)

Thats because of MODERN DAY SOCIAL INTERACTIONS AND STANDINGS !!! That has been my conclusion

During the conversation i saw a lot of people start commenting on roman's main characterization points. Namely how oddly *realistic* he feels. How its hard to conversate and build a character *to* conversate with him. Its hard to, genuinely. its not easy to immerse yourself in his character and enjoy the things being told.

With the others, you can build off their behavior easily. Fall into tropes, make new ones, make your own spin on their set behaviors and motives. Vincent wants his step sibling, build off the step sibling and their fucked relationship. Soren wants power and to ruin his academic rivals reputation, build off his need for power and control and his social killer status. Marcus wants to ignore consequences and stay ignorant about his drug dealing and usage, build off his need for consequences and make him realize. And so forth, there are many different situations, and many different reactions you can pull.

But roman ? He doesn't *need* anything. His only motive is to keep his practically unknown one-off murder hidden. And his behavior doesn't help with his lack of motives. yes, there is the fact he is inherently abusive. the way he keeps his girlfriend, Madeline, under wraps. isolating her, trapping her in only what he finds acceptable and such.

but that's not fixable through him, there is a reason Madeline has her own POV. you need to get *her* out, not him.

This is not me saying his character is bad and unlikable as a specimen, he is extremely well written and his motives are understandably realistic all things considered.

But his behavior is very reminiscent of current time red-pilled conservative young men. Yknow. The ones who go on podcasts to bash women they will never meet ever for being "whores" and not wanting children

I find that Roman's fatal flaw as a character is that he is too similar to people that we actually *know*.

Now, realism in characters is very good !! We of course want characters to feel fleshed out and actually *possible* to be obtained as a real person. But !! The difference between sibling freak Vincent, mind games Soren, OD Marcus, self harm Heathrow... Is that they aren't nearly as common to run into than pro trad conservative Roman

You wont see someone like Soren often. someone who manipulates and blackmails for their own gain. Sure, they exist !! But you have less of a chance of meeting someone like him. He is obtainable, he is someone you *can* know. But hes rare.

Roman? Walk into an average american school and listen around, i'm sure youll see some of his dialogue regurgitated straight from the mouth of a fucked up teen boy

Hes someone you interact with often, even if not directly. So... Why would you gravitate toward that?

Media like this, as realistic as people like to make it, is all supposed to be fantasies rather than realities. So when you bring realities too close, youre going to get some unhappy reports

Of course, people love roman as a character and still like his codings and characterizations, its just that its so much harder to actually favour him. Why would you favour the douchebag you see everyday ? Unreasonable

Instead, people jump to the more "real fantasy" characters like Heathrow. Will you ever meet someone who forces you into dangerous situations and tries to get you killed so he can die right alongside you because of some fucked up meaning of love ? Probably not. But the possibility isn't entirely gone. If you wanted to talk to some fucked up trad red pilled asshole, just go to school at that point why need roman you know ?

Someone said during the conversation that they knew someone like Soren and that they very much disliked Soren because of that experience. So the concept of "attainable" characters has some backing to it. even though people might gravitate to characters similar to oneself, its those who had a negative experience with someone that acts similarly that affects the characters perception.

I think this is an incredibly important aspect to character creation, Think about how your characters comply to the real life people you know and or are aware of, and know how that affects their audience perception. Use it to your advantage, it's very interesting and makes a lot of sense when put into theory. Of course there is an audience for real life people depictions but an overwhelming majority wants fantasy that feels real.

Overall, the looks of a character matter heavily, of course, but not as much as people think. even if Roman fell into the "pretty boy" archetype, most of his audience wouldn't change. yes there would probably be a little bit more in favour of him since... well. pretty. unfortunately that's a truth. but his behavior would still feel increasingly troubling to enjoy or "defend" in a way.

Now I know that this sounds like I'm somewhat advocating for the demolition of these types of characters, but i'm really not. characters like these are crucial to our self perception, fandom spaces, and even morals. lines get drawn in behavioral ideals and sometimes what reached way past the line for you isn't even cutting it for someone else. If these characters did not exist, i feel as though our perception of others would get very skewed. In a way, these characters show and remind us of our actual realities. These things are real, they exist, don't forget that.

if we were to ignore the realities of people like this, we wouldnt get very far in our social progression. Now i know many people dont very much concern themselves with interacting directly to these kinds of thoughts, but ! Think about it. The less aware we are, the less we portray these sorts of things, the less change we see in our enviromental thinking. Its something very commonly experienced, which is why so many varying groups of people fight for their representation. It works both ways.

But luca !!!!! If people dont like characters too closely related to reality, why do people like characters that relate heavily to *their* reality?

Well. Simple. As i said before with the "attainable" characters: people like characters that relate to oneself. Thats generic info, yeah, everyone knows that. But theres a level of reliability thats needed for a character to have as much popularity as they have.

Lets take doppo kannonzaka for example, one of if not the most popular hypmic character. People love him !! Hes relatable in the sense of modern day struggling. People hate their jobs, people hate the current economic state and how its forcing them into keeping jobs that are terrible for them just because theres no other option. But not many people will explore this outwardly.

So...

They do it through characters.

While being rooted in reality, he is *still* a fantasy. He portrays the emotions rarely shown out of private. The thoughts and feelings of average workers, the things they arent allowed to say publicly without fear of repercussion. Theres no harm in liking a character, right?

Thats the main difference i see in this dynamic. The Outlets, and The Plug-ins.

The Outlets are what allow people to express themselves, the "real fantasies"

And The Plug-ins? The things people need to stay conscious about their enviroments, the "realities"

Personally, i think this is something to keep in mind as an audience and as a producer. When interacting with media, i see many people dislike characters that fall into "the plug-ins" category. Simply for the reason that they represent something seen as distasteful to publicity. This feels like the wrong way to go about things. First and most of all, the producer has a right to create what they wish to express in their stories. It is 1. Never okay to harass them for such, and 2. Never okay to interact with such media with a mental blockade preventing you from truly understanding the medias intent.

That last one was mostly in reference to fans that take themes and situations out of context because they find the inherent thought of it "bad". Thus resulting in the bashing of that media without truly knowing what it represents.

Now of course, there are acceptions to these things. And it is perfectly okay to choose what and which media you immerse yourself in based off of your tastes and personal feelings. But thats not what we are here for right now.

But disliking plug-ins for being plug-ins? To me, it seems small minded.

So this is me politely giving my observations up, and asking whoever reads this to think about the way they interact with media.

You dont have to like them, but appreciate your fandom plug-in and reconsider how you see their point in the story and its themes.