#tw venting for next tags

[amischievouscat]

vent post and tags below the cut don't open if you don't want to hear this cat's woes

remembering the time my ex friend, a trans person, was consistently misgendering Kris from deltarune despite me telling them that Kris is NB and uses neutral pronouns and only changed their tune after they presumably looked it up themselves is really making me Think and Ponder rn

not worried about this unnamed person finding this either because they don't use tumblr to my knowledge and if they do they don't know my handle

further info in tags for anyone who feels like listening lolol

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I am exhausted, good heavens.

[hplonesomeart]

Heyyy….so I’m back to posting arts momentarily I guess (not like I went anywhere though. Still spending my life staring at a iPad screen for nine hours straight….hate this routine I loosely call “living” so much hahahahaha chronically online potato sack. Not doing so hot I can’t even anymore!)

Anyways uh-so I have a lot of scraped things because I’m loosing energy to do creative works I can’t keep pushing myself. Kinda accepted that I’ve weighed myself down exhausted myself with all this pressure and I need to let go. But it’s hard and honestly the last thing I want is fatigue again. But guess it’s a cycle for a reason huh. Can’t fight it off, just stuck powerless and letting it happen begrudgingly

So I made this unfinished gif (you can tell because the hand is missing and the background looks unidentifiable. Plus cigarette smoke just gave up on existing wow so relatable). Honestly I kinda set myself up to get stuck on the process of this anyways since I don’t like animating on Procreate. The layering frames system is a pain to navigate. Only reason I wanted to animate Mr. Puzzles using Procreate is for some level of gained “experience” and added brush diversity for the glitch effect. But guess it wasn’t enough to keep my attention. Started it on August 5th, probably abandoned it two days later or so. I don’t know it feels like a long long time ago by now but that’s just because I’ve been overwhelmed mentally and can’t keep track of days passing bye

And this is the simplified version (aka what I started with originally as a drawn base messy sketchy illustration)

[bluestrawberrybunny]

As my work day comes to a close, I debate about joining Discord servers again... joining servers is scary... mostly because an ex abuser was in the same fandoms as me and frequented Discord so... idk...

It genuinely depends...

[burningvelvet]

once again living vicariously through writers, artists, performers, adventurers, fictional characters, historical figures, and anyone else who has ever done or is doing anything even remotely interesting, etc., because i have no energy to participate in life myself and it's easier to maladaptively daydream my days away instead

[vacant2007]

[great-tusk]

Ugh. I had a really bad day.

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[dreamwinged]

eating habits/demotivation/depression/ed mentioned ↘️ proceed with caution

having spicy noodles and chocolate milk 👍 perhaps not the greatest choice but it works ! however preparing it felt like literally the most arduous task i DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY bc ive had plenty of experience with like. depression appetite loss as well as purposeful restriction from when i had a really bad eating disorer but it’s never been like this where i just have zero desire to eat and no appetite for like no reason… freaking me out a bit i don’t want this to trigger me or anything but i just don’t want to i don’t want the effort of making smth i dont want the effort of eating it just seems so exhaustingggg no matter how shitty it makes me feel. i felt like i was gonna faint despite not feeling hungry at all I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS perchance i need to talk to my doctor… and im forcing it despite how i feel bc ik it’s good for me obviously to just try to work thru how i feel but. :/ everything just seems like SOOOOO much fucking work even video games and stuff that i love <- idk maybe i am hitting a depressive episode ig that’s what it sounds like. GAHHH not before school plsssss😭😭😭😭

[tamarieatsbatteries175]

Oh well thanks mom that totally made my mood better. /sarc

[lonelyworld]

.

[ectonurites]

vibe of the day:

(Robin (1993) #79)

[iwanttobepersephone]

Tw for self harm, but here's a story of something that happened to me when I was in 6th grade (I actually left out a couple details to make it easier to read, the full thing is so much more insane)

[comfortabletogether]

happy 80th anniversary of D-Day or the American, British and Canadian invasion of the beaches of Normandy.

personally i take today as a day of remembrance of what my family had lost instead of it being a turning point in the war.

also fuck you to the kids in my military history class who like Germany in the 1940’s or simp over WWII Italy and Germany’s leaders. It’s frankly disgusting.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

mental illness is SOOO funny the last time i felt happy and free n actually wanted to live was my birthday 2021 lmaoo

[somelazyassartist]

Ough I need to avoid my TAZ shelf when I'm tired, because reminding myself that The Adventure Zine and the graphic novels are right next to each other and how painful some of the differences between them are legitimately gives me a migraine. That and my eyes are weird so looking at comics for too long just does that anyways but I digress