#to be fair i have been working on some very angsty fanfiction but like. i shld be working on stuff i cld publish under my real name | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ribbonverse · 4 months ago

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y u do dis?

Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57162358

I feel like by the end of the Soul Society arc, the Bleach universe already had plenty of width, and what it needed going forward was more depth. Instead it kept piling powers upon powers and retcons kept accumulating on top of reveals. And for what?

To use an in-universe metaphor, Bleach lost its heart and became a Hollow long ago, and has been haunting the people who loved it ever since. That's the case for me, at least. It's very frustrating to me that a great series with a ton of potential was completely squandered because the author is apparently allergic to relationships or something.

Anyway, I think it's fair to say that along with just being Really Cool, Bleach until the end of the Soul Society arc had an emotional core that appealed to many people. It was pretty clear that Ichigo wasn't just saving Rukia because he felt it was his duty or whatever. He was saving someone who completely changed his life on multiple levels, including an emotional one, and he was saving her because he felt very passionately about it. This was clear because it was set up in the previous story arc, starting all the way in chapter 1.

But instead of what it was actually set up as, the story of Bleach until the end of the Soul Society arc became "boy meets girl, girl saves boy and his family by giving him her powers, boy and girl work together and become close, girl gets in trouble and is going to get executed, boy pushes himself to a breaking point and corrupts his soul to obtain the power to save girl, gets almost killed many times but finally saves girl (or thereabouts), boy and girl go their separate ways as friends."

A pretty ridiculous ending if you ask me, but it had to happen because it was in the script.

Hey, what's that on the ground there, is that the script? Let's have a look, shall we.

Huh? The main character doesn't get a moment's rest before being targeted by the Bad Guys and is now basically useless? And two seconds after obtaining the One Ring Hōgyoku that was supposed make his Hollow experiments a success, Aizen already has his own Budget Gotei 13, which is just the Captains and no other characters, and none of them are interesting because they're literally just self-centered and unhinged Bad Guys with no other purpose than being antagonists?

And when they're not out antagonizing the Main Character, they're just waiting for him in Budget Soul Society, a dimension that's literally just an empty desert with some simple geometric shapes passing for buildings here and there, like someone made their first 3D models in Blender and tried to create their own MMO?

And why's everyone got Spanish names all of a sudden? Where's all the cool Japanese stuff?

Wait, what's this? The girl that the boy almost destroyed his soul in order to save is back, and now she's grabbing him and shoving his face at the Budget Magical Girl and basically telling them to kiss? It's like she broke the fourth wall, saw that people were shipping her with the Main Character, and said "NOPE".

But I thought Bleach wasn't about relationships anymore, and now we're going with one of the least likely pairings in this particular universe?

Well, it's in the script, so it had to happen.

The so-called story really goes off the rails as time goes on. I don't even know how many people actually cared about Bleach past a certain point, because people don't keep reading/watching stuff they don't care about. And as a consequence, the fans that are left after a while are the ones who think the current state of the work is actually good for some reason.

Basically what I'm saying is, f the script, 'cause it's really dumb. I guess that's the essence of fanfiction a lot of the time.

In slightly less ranty terms

It seems to me that it became a less-than-generic, angsty series about endlessly fighting for some nebulous reason that everyone's long forgotten about, where Ichigo is stuck in an infinite loop of wearing a scared or desperate expression because he's failing, then getting a powerup, and either winning or losing before repeating the cycle. And the impressive part is that all of this happens without any major emotional significance or growth as a person.

It also didn't help that I found the attempts at Spanish influence that appeared post-Soul Society to be supremely uninteresting and strangely executed. It's basically just words that are entirely unconnected to the rest of the universe, making them feel really out of place.

The Japanese stuff, the characters and the exploration of certain aspects of the Shinigami world was what made things so fascinating. But then everyone put on these white Halloween masks and started playing Hollows, like someone was inspired by the least intersting parts of the first story arc and begun writing bad fanfiction (no offense).

The setting changed from an actual Society to a literal desert, the only purpose of which is to contain the Bad Guys that the Protagonist needs to defeat, like a cheaply made RPG where there's only one significant landmark in the entire game world and enemies just keep spawning on a flat field for the players to grind until they level up.

What's the point of an uninhabited place that's only populated by hostile NPCs with overinflated egos and nothing of interest to say? If I ever want to subject myself to that, I'll go play a Souls game (note: I'm not actually going to do that, so don't call the hotline. I'm not prone to self-harm).

Not that Soul Society was a masterpiece of worldbuilding either. Pac-Man, anyone? You could probably write a melancholy song titled The Walls of Seireitei in which Kenpachi laments how he can never find a worthy opponent in this endless maze, and if only he was programmed to have the ability to jump he might be able to escape this fresh hell. But the game only has quick-time events, so he can only jump at pre-determined points in the story.

I guess these days you could have an AI write and compose that song for you, and it would be pretty good.

But in any case, you can look at almost anything other than the empty environments in Soul Society and notice that at least an effort was made. Inspiration was taken, there was some really Cool Stuff in every volume, if not every chapter. And I don't mean the cosplayers-wearing-Hollow-masks kind of "cool" that things devolved into, I mean interesting things being said, characters/Zanpakutou shown, and events unfolding, putting the actions of our characters into a larger context.

In other words, worldbuilding. Now that was cool. And characters can only really be cool if the concept of "cool" is properly defined and established within the context of the fictional world they inhabit. Like the Bankai, for example. But who cares about seeing yet another one when everyone finds a Bankai under their seat and it becomes a requirement for participation?

It should also matter why someone attains a Bankai or any sort of power. Oh, what's that? The main character puts himself through training that amounts to torture and corruption of his soul, gets nearly killed in almost every subsequent fight he participates in, goes through yet more torturous training to attain the Ultimate Power, visibly ages during his journey to save a woman he has a very special relationship with, has some kind of evil demon take residence within his soul due to how far he went for her, and in the end they're Just Friends?

Sure, now tell me the one about the one-armed Shinigami and his rabbit-shaped Bankai.

All of this was probably said a million times over 15 years ago, but I don't particularly care. What I do care about is that great things were done and there was amazing potential for the future, but it was flushed down the toilet. Along with the Only Correct Ship™.

So I wrote a fic. It's an IchiRuki ship at its core, but I also added some things to the world when inspiration struck. I mostly wrote this as a form of emotional expression and to let out the ideas that came to me in the small hours of one morning.

So far there are over 70k 50k words that are mostly ready to be published, as well as some stuff for a possible follow-up series. However, some finishing touches need to be put on still, so it's not all going to come out at once.

Also, this is the first fanfiction (and really the first creative work of any kind) I've ever written. So keep that in mind.

It's also not going to be for everyone, because I've been heavily influenced by certain things (mostly David Eddings' Belgariad-verse and Harry Potter). And not everyone finds value in the same things. So if you find it long-winded, it's probably not just you.

#author's note #ichiruki

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word-wytch · 1 year ago

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✏ 20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags @the-unforgivenn and @wroteclassicaly 💋✨

1) How many works do you have on AO3? - 5

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? - Roughly 120k at a glance

3) What fandoms do you write for? - Stranger Things, but truly just Eddie Munson

4) What are your top five fics by kudos? - I only have 5 🥴

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? - I do try to respond to as many as I can, especially the very thoughtful ones. It all depends on the amount of spoons I have at the time. Engaging with my readers is really important to me. It makes me feel like we are embarking on an adventure together and the community aspect of writing fanfiction incredibly rewarding. I've made so many friends. 🥹

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - I don't tend to write angsty endings. There is enough angst in the rest of it, trust me.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - Probably Entre Nous, because that was my only other series. My current series is not finished but it will definitely end happily.

8) Do you get hate on fics? - Surprisingly no. And I say surprisingly because the trope in the main series I've been writing is pretty taboo. Only one comment truly stands out to me as hate and it was regarding my use of figurative language lmao.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kinds? - My smut tends to be pretty vanilla but the tones are very different depending on what the scene is truly about.

10) Do you write crossovers? Not yet!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? - Thankfully no, or at least not that I'm aware of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? - No

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? - No

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? - Eddie Munson and all of us

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? - I have a few unfinished WIPs and many ideas, but I haven't closed any doors yet. The one I would like to finish most of all is my Ren Faire Eddie oneshot.

16) What are your writing strengths? - Dialogue, characterization, immersive descriptions, cadence, figurative language, insight, motifs, showing vs telling, story structure.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? - My creative (lol) use of punctuation, understanding where to end a paragraph and start a new one, filter words like "he looked at ___", describing moments that involve a lot of action in interesting ways rather than a just laundry list of "he did this, he did that" which I have actually made tremendous improvements upon. I find it helpful to ask myself "how was it?" rather than just "then what did he do?"

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? - I'm confused by this question. My impulse would be to say write in whatever language you want but does this mean like, the body of the work is in English and some dialogue is in French for example? Confused.

19) First fandom you wrote for? - House MD when I was like 13

20) Favorite fic you’ve written? - My infant child that turns one year old tomorrow: Don't Stand So Close to Me

No pressure tags ✨ @rip-quizilla @munson-blurbs @vintagehellfire @jo-harrington @carolmunson @blueywrites @alottanothing @chaoticgood-munson @corroded-hellfire @hellfirehottie420 @deathbecomesthem @bettyfrommars @storiesbyrhi @keeponquinning

#tag game #about me #20 questions

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mx-piggy · 1 year ago

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Just finished season 1 of the Afterparty and I felt like writing my thoughts about it. I'd also love to chat with other people about this show, so feel free to comment, rb or DM me! Spoilers ahead!

I'm definitely going to have to rewatch it at some point (maybe after season 2 is fully out, so I can watch them back-to-back), because I want to see how everything plays out in hindsight, and see what details I can pick up on.

I started watching this show because I saw a gif from the most recent episode in season 2 ('Hannah', I think) and it looked kinda gay. That's how I started watching the Last of Us. And many other shows. I'm a lonely, desperate queer.

Overall, I really enjoyed it! I'm a fan of all the genres it combined, and I think they worked really well together. I feel like, even if you don't gel well with the comedy, the compelling mystery and characters make it worth a watch. I loved the format of having a different sort of genre in each episode, with my favourite styles being Chelsea and Yasper. And, I adore unreliable narrators.

The only episode I went into knowing the genre (or in Zoe's case, the medium) were Aniq and Zoe, but I correctly guessed that Brett was going to have an action-style 'movie', Yasper's was going to be a musical, Chelsea's was going to be a thriller kind of movie and that Maggie's was going to be kiddie-fied. Guessing the genre's not an achievement though, despite my sense of pride.

I didn't correctly guess the killer until I did my thing of reading a reader-insert fic just before the finale, and a line in there (something to do with 'keeping secrets') made me think 'oh shit'. It wasn't necessarily a spoiler, but it did make it click for me, and I noticed things in the finale leading up to the reveal, like Yasper being absent from when Aniq woke up. Before that spoiler, though, I guessed it was probably Walt, though I did suspect he was just a red herring. Part of me also had this crack theory that it'd be a 'Who Shot Mr. Burns' thing where Maggie killed him by accident (funny how they share the same name), or that she'd witnessed Xavier fall accidentally.

Speaking of which, I think the conclusion was satisfying and made sense in the way Danner explained it. I'm hoping it'll hold up on rewatch- I'm guessing it will. It made sense, and I think it's impressive for this kind of comedy show to commit to having one of their charismatic main characters being the killer, instead of copping out and make it be someone we don't really care about. Well, I cared about Yasper at the very least. He was one of my favourite characters, and I'm very sad that he's probably rotting in prison. But, I'm glad he had his moment of fame.

Since this is fiction, I'm allowed to say 'fair enough' to Yasper murdering Xavier. I think everyone at that party should have been more grateful to Yasper for getting rid of him. (/lh) Though I think it would have been hilarious if everyone was actually grateful, instead of them all celebrating that the killer had been caught. That said, even though I love Yasper and I condone what he did, it felt kinda nice for Danner's investigation to be celebrated, even though I'm not a fan of cops.

That said, I do have a small issue with the finale that is entirely personal to me and my preferences, and this could easily be fixed if I wrote an angsty fanfiction like I normally do. So, my problem is that I wish that the revelation of what Yasper did had more of an emotional impact on Aniq. I know that they haven't spoken in two years prior to that night, but they were best friends in high school, and I think it's kind of dismissive that they went straight from 'Aniq feels betrayed that his friend would do something like this' to 'now he's kissing Zoe in the car'. I know it's a comedy and it'd be weird for the season to end on such a depressing note, especially since in the end the murder isn't taken that seriously by Yasper (in a scene I sincerely enjoyed and felt kind of happy for him in). Speaking of which, I read some analysis on Yasper and the perception of success in terms of careers that was really interesting and I'll link here, so that kind of makes that scene a little sad because Yasper would rather be an infamous killer than a guy with a successful career. But, y'know it's a comedy so I'll try not to think about that or I'll be sad.

Now I'll get onto the characters, specifically the main ones. I like them all as characters. I'll only go into depth about the characters who get an episode named after them, Xavier and Walt.

Aniq is really charismatic, and I think he's a fun main character to have even if he's not the most interesting necessarily. I think it makes sense to have such a puzzle-oriented character as the main character in a murder mystery. Plus, he's a genuinely nice guy, so it makes it so you don't want to see him get sent to prison. I'm pretty sure he's the main character of season 2 as well, so I'm happy to see him return.

I really like Zoe, too! I was worried that she would just be 'the artsy, perfect love interest' that you see in teen movies, so I really liked to see her story of struggling with who she is and what she wants. It really resonated with me, and her episode was really interesting to watch. Personally, her episode reminded me a little of BoJack Horseman (the show, not the character). I don't really understand why her episode has such a harsh rating on IMDB, because I think the storytelling and use of animation to further characterise and flesh out Zoe was really effective.

I like Zoe and Aniq's relationship too, and I think that's really impressive because of how I struggle to get on board with canon relationships in rom-coms. A lot of the time, it feels like I'm watching a kid holding their Barbie and Ken dolls in either hand and repeating 'don't you think they should kiss?' But, with Aniq and Zoe, they had genuine chemistry (no pun intended) and they both work as individual characters outside of their relationship.

Yasper is one of my favourite characters in the show, probably second to a character I'll get onto in a minute. I think he's a great subversion of the 'best friend hypeman' trope, where he actually has motivations and goals outside of his best friend. I was worried that his character was going to just be the 'oblivious loudmouth best friend', and, like with Zoe, I was thankfully proven wrong. He was a delightfully complex character who did the world a service. I can't be bothered to analyse him in the detail I'd like to, so all I'll say is that I am going to spend some time tomorrow reading some angsty Yasper fics.

So, my favourite character in the show was Chelsea, and I'm honestly so in love with her it's insane. Her character was so complex and interesting, and on a personal level she was really easy to empathise with. I knew early on that she wasn't the killer, and that she was just a fucked up woman who deserved so much better in life. It made me so happy to see her making amends with Zoe, and to see how nice Yasper and Aniq were to her, because all she really needed was to escape the high schooler judgement and be afforded some compassion and kindness. And, I found it simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming that she was so used to the feeling of being judged and ostracised that she didn't get revenge on Xavier and wrote that apology on Aniq's hand for him drinking her cat roofies. Her arc was the most satisfying to watch for me. I'm devastated that she's only in season 1 (though I get it from a narrative standpoint). Hoping she will live on through fanfiction.

Brett was also a surprise to me, because I assumed he was just going to be a total loser who thinks he's a badass and that's it. But, I really like how he was actually a decent dad to Maggie as well. Like, sure, you shouldn't leave your kid alone in a car for a prolonged period or speed when your kid's in the car (or at all), but still. It was really sweet to see the joy on Maggie's face when her dad was living out some Fast and the Furious fantasy. And, I like how the motivation of his episode was to get the koala back. It made me giggle.

Danner was a really interesting character to watch. Again, I'm not a fan of cops, but I personally feel like her character is well-done. She's someone working against a shitty system as best she can. She'll do what's right as opposed to staying in favour with her colleagues who believe in protecting their own than pursuing true justice. I like how she's very unconventional in her approach, where she knows she'll find something relevant in seemingly unnecessary details. It makes her a really interesting investigative character. Plus, I really like Danner's personality; she's also a very charismatic character, minus the being a cop thing.

Walt wasn't my favourite character but I still liked him enough. It was kinda depressing (in a fun way, though) at times to see him be so overlooked by his peers. I thought it was funny that, in Maggie's version of events, he's a puppet who just says 'Walt'. And, I liked that he's so overlooked that his designated episode (High School) isn't named after him and we don't really get his perspective as much as we did with the other characters. It fit a lot with the outcast, background role of the character, where his own party, his own story isn't even about him. It was nice that they remembered his name in the end.

Maggie is so precious to me fr. She's such a sweet kid and I want to adopt her. Her joy is so infectious.

Now onto Xavier. As a character, Xavier was really incredible. As a person, I'm overjoyed that someone took the initiative to dispose of him. His relationship with Yasper was so interesting, and I like that we got to see his origins as a kinda dorky teenager who wants to reinvent himself and is heartbroken 'heterosexually' when his best friend wants to break up their band. So much so that he gets into a fight with the guy his best friend definitely isn't in love with. But, he fucked over my darling Chelsea and my guy Aniq. He makes shitty music. The only good thing he ever did was make Maggie's favourite movie. Overall, he is basically Jamie Tartt, if Jamie was murdered before he could become the man we all know and love today. I mean, neither of them wear shirts under their suits, and Dave Franco and Phil Dunster have some physical similarities.

I'm really looking forward to watching season 2 and to rewatching the whole show. And to reading some angsty Aniq/Yasper/Xavier fanfics. And to hopefully finding some fanart to reblog. I need to consume fan content for this show and these characters. Especially Chelsea.

#the afterparty #the afterparty spoilers #long post #the afterparty season 1 #aniq adjaye #zoe zhu #detective danner #yasper lennov #i won't bother tagging the characters who don't have surnames on wikipedia

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silent-silver-slip · 5 months ago

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20 Questions for AO3 Writers

@librarylexicon Thanks for the tag!

How many fics on ao3 have you posted?

378! Because I am somewhat insane

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

2,070,160

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I actively write for Harry Potter, Naruto, Julie and the Phantoms, and Avatar: The Last Airbender.

I can, apparently, be convinced to write for BNHA, Howl's Moving Castle, Star Wars, Spiritfarer, Percy Jackson, and the Inheritance Cycle. There are probably others I'd be willing to explore too, but I've yet to actively write for them.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sea Dreams - Probably unsurprising, actually. This is a Naruto fic and is the first one in the series. Complete AU beginning with a Uchiha surviving the massacre, who also turns out to be a reincarnated ninja. Uzushio all the way!

Relight These Embers - ATLA. This is a super fun one I got to write that explores Zuko and Azula in a world slightly to the left of canon.

Never Surrender - HP. What if Regulus was sorted into Gryffindor? (This now has a rewritten version! It's completed and updating weekly at the moment.)

Trust In Your Companions - ATLA. Zuko & various animals.

If you've got life, you've got fight - HP. Regulus Black is reincarnated as Draco Malfoy. Needless to say, this changes a lot. But also not much at all.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep! It might take a while, but I always do so. Well, aside from some awful ones that it's better off ignoring...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Honestly, in terms of fanfiction, I don't really do angsty endings! I like my happy endings too much, or maybe my hopeful endings. The idea that, even if things aren't alright now, they might one day be okay.

I reckon the most angsty is probably 'If I could take us back, if I could just do that' (JATP), because there's no resolution at all there. That said, 'dancing on the tightrope (don't cut the wire)' (Naruto) is a little bit angsty too, because there's an element to hopelessness to it that definitely cuts to the quick. But there's also the idea of just... going on anyway, I guess. Then there's two HP fics that are technically angsty as well - 'there is always what comes after' and 'all you can do (is go on)'.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending? God, I don't know. But I've narrowed it down to three that have endings I particularly like.

this band is back & it's been years - JATP. Less so for the ending itself, and more so for what the story means to me. There's something about friendships that kind of broke down, and also fell wayside, and reconnecting and finding some new, finding something better, finding something stronger, that appeals to me so very much. Writing this fic absolutely healed something broken within me, I think. And, sure, it'll break again, but I always have this to fall back to.

For similar reasons, though not the exact same, I must also mention 'Let's get the band back together'. (JATP) I think I really found myself realising how I'd grown as a writer while writing this, which was fun, and this is a much softer fic too. There's something about finding a home and finding your people that is just fucking fantastic.

Lastly - 'and then, suddenly, you hear the ocean' (Naruto). For a fic that is cemented in grief and death, the healing and recovery of this fic soothes something within me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Got heaps back on ff.net back in the day! And I have gotten a fair few things on ao3 too, which sucks heaps. It's not the easiest thing to deal with, but I'm lucky that when it really hits me, I've got some people I can turn to and ask for a much more objective truth. It works, most of the time.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope

10. Do you write crossovers?

Eh, not really. It doesn't appeal to me that much, to be honest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Less stolen as such, but definitely appeared on other websites before - you know the ones that access websites via another platform or whatever? They've probably been scraped or whatever before too, I imagine.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, which is super exciting! @dragonsampersanddragons has done two fics ('Cover Your Eyes (The Devil Inside)' and 'The Sea Never Looked Back') into French, and 'on to war' (HP) has been translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not anything that was ever finished or published!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Lol, I don't have one. Definitely don't care for romance. Love me a good QPR, found family, or friendship though!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Oooh, there's an old story idea I once had called Threads of Magic that I would love to explore. But it also has a lot of hurt associated with it now, so doubt it'll ever happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think it's characterisation, probably! If only because I tend to try and always make my characters 3D, and I think that shows up. Sometimes I manage to do some awesome dialogue lines which is always nice, but not always.

(17????)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd do it! Probably comes from the fact I've worked with other languages in the past, and also conlang (god, it's so hard, kudos to anyone who manages it). Occasionally, I might just go 'x said in y' or something. Otherwise (though I've never done it), I'd probably do that thing on ao3 where you can have the formatting so translation shows up when you click/hover over it. It's neat as hell.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was Harry Potter lol. Or maybe Percy Jackson? I wrote original work first, so that's what sticks more I think.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I've already mentioned a few of them! That said, it tends to be what I've written more recently. Particular shout outs to:

Sea Dreams (and the entire series) (Naruto) - Toru, hope, and found family. Enough said.

this band is back & its been years (JATP) - As mentioned, it healed something in me

Let's get the band back together (JATP) - Friendships grown distant and making them anew

laughter so loud even the stars can hear (Naruto) - The vibes??? are so soft???

with them, i am home (and the love is a choice series) (ATLA) - Honestly, this rarepair was pretty fun to explore

how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist (series; and more specifically i don't believe that love was made to break) - Urban fantasy!! Strange lake creatures!! fae!!

Trumpets 'verse - JATP. Still one of the funniest things I think I ever wrote

Here's To Us (Here's To Love) - Naruto. Found family/friendship of Team 7. Just them and their softness.

Okay this took way longer than I expected, so no idea who to tag. Anyone can pick it up - and I hope you have fun doing it!

#tagged #wip #tag game

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pinkytoothlesso11 · 1 year ago

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20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @niemalsetwas! Thank you! This is a long one, but very interesting well rounded questions for fic writers. I'll tag: @whitherwanderyouspirit, @toodrasticallydumb, @nickelwick, @bluedaddysgirl, @megan0013 and @rosemaidenvixen. Not obligated to do this, just thought it may be fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 16! 13 of which are all Trollhunters lmao.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

542,419 words. Wow. That's a little crazy ngl.

3. What fandom's do you write for?

Mostly Trollhunters/Tales of arcadia. But I've written a oneshot for She-Ra and the Princesses of Power and one for Scrooge: A Christmas Carol (2022). And I've done a multichapter fic for Arcane: League of Legends. Probably going to do more fics for that eventually. And I have two planned for The owl house I'm really excited about!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Challenging Destiny

Heal what has been lost

A change in a moment

Heart of Stone

After the moon rises

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! In my first fic I was hesitant to the first couple of chapters, but now I make a effort as I know how awesome it is to get a reply from the author on fics I've left comments on myself. And also because sometimes I have wonderful conversations!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is a bit hard to pin down, because while a decent amount of my fics go really, really angsty, they tend to end on a slightly hopeful note. But I'd think it's either Through the Veil which while the actual end is rather uplifting, it's overshadowed by the torment all the characters have gone through or chapter 4 of my prompt collection for Stricklake month: corruption. Which is... Sad.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm well my main fics are not finished so I can't put any of them down... Er most of them end happily? I guess for the top one A change in a moment, since I also barely killed any characters in the end...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. Very thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Anything explicit? No. I've tentively suggested it, but not in any detail.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have not yet. One of my aforementioned Owl house fics I have planned will be a crossover, with Trollhunters, but nothing crazy.

Unless we're talking about the Arcane/Disney Tangled crossover, but that's a soft crossover, with a wholly Arcane cast of characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. At least not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No... It was going to happen at some point, but then it didn't. Which was fair, even if disappointing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

It's Stricklake. I have loads more I like a lot, but that's the one that made me start writing fanfiction.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

This isn't really applicable, I plan to finish every fic I start, but there's one that's taking longer than I like to complete, which is Heart of Stone. It's close to the finish line, I just need to push myself there.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm pretty good at creating snappy dialogue with plenty of banter. And that my worldbuilding is pretty damn good. Also that I'm able to consistently keep a large cast of characters IN character and balance them all. I'm also fairly good at descriptions and gore.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think sometimes I struggle with pacing, and the flow of my writing can be clunky at times. I also find filler chapters less interesting to write, even if they're important to set later things up.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I do end up doing this at one point or another in most of my fics! I use Google translate lol. I'm not ashamed. I also use italics if it's not English, with the translation in my notes at the end.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters! The first show to get me into fandom, and fanfic and tumblr! It was the first in a lot of things.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Has to be Challenging Destiny! It's just about halfway, but the reception to it and it's faithfulness to the source, as well as the heaps of research and worldbuilding I've put into it has made it the fic I'm the most proud of. It's got a big cast of different characters to balance, which just adds to the challenge lol. But it's worth it.

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izar-tarazed · 7 months ago

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NAME: Zari (technically Září)

PRONOUNS: she/her

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)? My Tarnished, Izar. (Although I guess at this point it’s only fair to include Ensha as well, although he’ll rarely show up on his own.)

RP PET PEEVES?

Can’t really think of one, to be honest. I mean, there are obvious no-gos (powerplaying/godmodding), but I’ve yet to come across someone who does that. Other than that…?

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?

Regarding tumblr RP specifically, I’ve only picked that up this year. (Not completely new to tumblr—I had a Skyrim themed blog some years ago but somehow never came across RP there.)

However, I roleplayed privately with a friend in a forum for about ten years, going through an array of characters (both fandomless OCs and OCs/NPCs from different games). Besides, I’m a writer, so storytelling and crafting character arcs has been a part of my life for the longest time, which helps.

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?

The balance does it, I guess? I don’t write smut but both fluff and angst can be fun to write and great for character development (be it individual or regarding the dynamics between characters).

In storytelling, I tend to allow characters moments of fluff in order to recover from particularly intense angst (or lull them into a false sense of security before hitting them with angsty stuff). Likewise, I have fun with both in RP. (I think I'm leaning a little more towards angst with Izar, given the setting.)

PLOTS OR MEMES?

Yes!

To elaborate, I enjoy both. Memes are often great for exploring a character or character dynamics in a very specific situation, allow for some bite-sized, lighthearted interaction, or even serve as starting point for a larger thread.

Plots mean more commitment but cooking them up together is just fun and I love it. They’re really about cooperative storytelling (memes are more like improv, I guess).

Like with fluff and angst, balancing them a little works best for me because the details I might learn about my characters thanks to a meme will often come in handy in plot contexts, and help to provide more depth.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?

I’ll usually try to match my RP partner’s length, so I won’t write an entire novel as a reply to one paragraph. Generally, though, I lean towards longer replies.

TIME TO WRITE?

YES!

I write on a daily basis, and while that also means non-RP stuff (both original and fanfiction), I’ve come to include my tumblr threads in that routine. After all, it’s storytelling! I don’t have a real schedule, though. I’ll sometimes try to get my writing done first thing in the morning—when I settle down at my desk with my coffee—, but busy days might find me desperately squeezing out my daily wordcount waaaaay beyond bedtime.

But there definitely is time to write everyday. I make that time. I’ve worked hard to make it so and have writing become an essential part of my routine, so my day simply isn’t complete without some writing.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?

…yes, I totally just stand leaning against walls and stare at people in silence at all times. And then I try to kill them.

Okay, seriously, I guess Izar might have inherited some traits I have and some struggles I can relate to. Constantly questioning whether you’re doing the right thing? Check. Getting enthusiastic about rather specific niche knowledge in my fields of interest and expertise? Check. [*inhales deeply* ...like. do you ever think about how 16th century and later Spanish chronicles basically manufactured indigenous discourse by, for example, quoting indigenous people of Peru as supposedly describing the Spaniards’ horses—foreign to them—as ‟strange llamas,” only that llamas in turn were foreign to Spaniards so they phrased the allegedly indigenous comparation as ‟some kind of sheep,” despite sheep being as foreign to Peru as horses, so they were trying to mimick what they supposed would be the indigenous worldview yet ended up being very European about it?] …yes. I can slip a llama into every conversation, but that’s not something Izar does. However, now that I think about it, with her enthusiasm to learn more about the specific cosmovisions of the different cultures and species in the Lands Between, I realize I may have accidentally made her a cultural anthropologist—like me—at heart. ____

Tagged by @necrophcge (sorry it took so long)

Tagging: ... I have the feeling that most people already got tagged and did this, so... whoever wants to?

#a passing flash of starlight | ooc #prized by the crafty and fleet of foot | tags and dash games #finger of corpse wax; furled like a hook | rp

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deans-haunted-baby · 4 years ago

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Okay I see there are those who are confused as to why most of us are pissed about 15x19 I will gladly explain in depth:

Let’s start off with our boys Adam Milligan & Michael. These characters have not been seen for 10 fucking years. During that time there were Adam stans like myself campaigning like mad to have him and the infamous archangel return for some much needed closure. We had to content ourselves with headcanons, fanfictions and metas based on what we briefly knew of Adam and Michael as people while they unfairly sat in Hell. You might have seen the “Adam’s Still in Hell” memes that circulated. WE WAITED OVER A DECADE FOR THIS. And finally SPN answers our prayers and returns these boys back into the story for the final season. None of us anticipated what their arc and dynamic would look like. Before we could only imagine who these two characters were/are after having been trapped in a cage so long; what their personalities would be like and if they’d be antagonistic to TFW. 15x08 was a surprise because not only were Adam and Michael likable right out of the gate but the writing for them and their dynamic was damn near flawless! And Jake fucking stole the show he killed it as these two. It’s a crime they were not featured in more episodes because the chemistry between these characters is amazing and they’re played by the same dude.

We were given so much background into both Adam and Michael’s psyches in just a short period of time. Their motivations, interests and how they viewed those that wronged them (like the Winchesters); how Hell affected/changed them both and how they viewed their families. We got to see them banter, cooperate with one another and most importantly their different personalities. With Jake Abel appearing in only a handful of SPN episodes, he still fleshed out Michael and Adam beautifully; giving them layers and complexities that most side-characters (who’ve appeared more times than they have) didn’t. The way Jake played Adam’s anger and resentment towards his brothers was brilliant because it’s more under the surface compared to his angsty teenage self in 5x18. He’d become somewhat restrained, laid-back, gentler and wiser which works because Adam displays traits similar to Sam and Dean. He’s kinder and has a sense of humor but none of that distracts from rational thought as he’s quick to analyze and dissect situations. Man, he would’ve made a great hunter/Men of Letters recruit. We know right off the bat Adam’s pissed at his brothers for abandoning him in a thousand-year-prison-sentence and didn’t lift a finger BUT that ironically doesn’t compromise his willingness to help them unlike his past self in 5x18. Jake gets the point across with this character without saying much and that’s what made him so compelling to watch in this episode.

Now Michael was even more of a mystery onion since he wasn’t onscreen as much as Adam had been in past episodes so Jake got to really build on top of this character. Going from the uptight, cold-blooded merciless celestial warrior/dutiful son of God we saw in 5x22 to someone whom despite his arrogance and regal princely demeanor was very human, intelligent, fair, mindful and compassionate. He trusted Adam and respected his opinions even if he didn’t agree 100%. Whereas most angels take over the vessel completely from their original occupant; Michael chooses to share his vessel with Adam as a mutual agreement which says a lot about who he is. He’s fascinated with humanity and wanted to explore it instead of returning to his throne in the clouds. We know that Michael was created specifically to be Humanity’s protector and guardian of Heaven and Earth so these quirks he’d demonstrated in 15x08 aren’t too far off. He holds a lot of pain inside from his abandonment issues with his father whom he loves to a fault and grief over the death of his brothers. On the surface there’s very much an abused child syndrome thing going on with him though he masks it with a domineering presence. And above all this we saw that he was capable of forgiveness. Whether or not Michael always had these traits inside to begin with, its very evident that his friendship with Adam influenced the person he became post-Hell. And that was someone who, like Castiel, chose to rebel for the sake of free will by aligning himself with the Winchesters after witnessing the evil his father had committed. He actually cared about saving the world. This is what we call character development.

What does 15x19 do? It shits all over that. We don’t get to see Adam and Michael’s dynamic at all; and this was perhaps one of (if not the first) most healthy portrayal of a relationship between an angel and its original vessel occupant in the history of Supernatural. Adam is just killed off-screen Thanos style without so much as one last word and Michael barely reacts like he gives a crap. It was just established to us in 15x08 that he’d developed an emotional bond with Adam through years of inhabiting the same body. He protected Adam while they were trapped together in Hell. They were each other’s only friend and source of comfort. They’d developed a certain co-dependency on each other while respecting one another’s space. They’d both made peace with their joint situation. All they had was each other and the writing in 15x19 basically tells us their relationship meant absolutely NOTHING to Michael based on his OOC actions in this episode. He shows up much darker and shadier now that Adam is gone and its like all those years of friendship, things like that independence, newfound strength and humility he’d gained from living with a human for so long are erased. Michael just reverts back to Chuck’s 5x22 bitchboy persona in the most ridiculous 180 shift I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life. And all because his little brother called him mean names. Pitiful. Just when he lectures Lucifer about standing up for what’s right; he betrays his own words, his allies and the rest of humanity in T-minus 2 minutes. That is total character assassination. Nothing about this motivation makes any sense.

There’s no build up to it, no foreshadowing in 15x08 or throughout 15x19 until they get to the lake. He’s completely deconstructed as a character in this episode and rendered weak. It’s like 15x08 never happened. Stripped of all his development for lousy shock value. Instead utilizing all of what he’d learned through Adam and sticking it to Lucifer by proving he could be more than what Chuck tried to mold him into; Michael becomes just another NPC in the story forfeiting the hero he was. And his reasons for siding with Chuck are never specified. Was it about about saving Adam? Was it about proving something to Lucifer (whom he’d already killed in anti-climatic fashion)? Was it all an act that he was in on with the Winchesters; cause there’s absolutely NO FUCKING WAY they could’ve predicted he’d flip on them like that for their magical plan to work. Not after everything Chuck’s done, killing Adam and Jack and leaving Michael to rot in Hell for eternity. And why would he suddenly go along with destroying the Earth when defeating Chuck would probably get Adam back (if that was his goal) which IT DID not to mention its his sworn duty to freaking protect humanity, hello? So his betrayal meant jack shit in the end as it got him killed by his fucking dad!! He’s brought back into the show only to be ruined forever and killed off in the stupidest fashion.

Moving on.

Jack Kline & Castiel. This iron-clad relationship has been in development for 4 in 1/2 years since before Jack was even born. And next to Adam & Michael its the other most healthy relationship on the show. Castiel, a million year old celestial being, spent the first 9 years of his arc on Supernatural following around the Winchesters, being torn between his loyalty to them and to Heaven. He rebelled when he was supposed to be a straight-by-the-book warrior of God. And he defied every rule in the process even when the odds were stacked against him. There was an endless rinse and repeat cycle of love, loss, betrayal and redemption when it came to his relationship with Sam and Dean. It made his character complex, interesting and layered but it still didn’t give him an arc that was his own. Castiel started out moreso being written as just the Winchester’s angel BFF/side-kick. Until Lucifer got Kelly Kline pregnant in 12x08 then things really took off. Before this, Castiel was a lost soul. His faith was broken, he was depressed, lonely, battered and rundown from years of being conflicted over the other angels and Sam & Dean. He felt he’d lost a sense of self and meaning in his life. And didn’t have a mission. Once he turned on Heaven’s orders, Castiel was a rebel angel without a cause so to speak. But like I said this changes the moment he meets Kelly.

Originally Castiel was suppose to kill Kelly in 12x19 because she was carrying the child of the devil and Nephilim are considered forbidden abominations. Told that if Lucifer’s kid was born he could unleash even more evil into the world. But instead of doing what he thought he should, Castiel decides to runaway with her. Choosing to protect her from all threats (Lucifer, demons, other angels, princes of Hell); this especially included the Winchesters. During this short time-frame the angel develops a strong, emotional bond with Kelly and her unborn son that stretches all the way to the S12 finale; to the point where it actually gave him a power-boost. From the womb, Jack appoints Castiel to be his father and protector and he’s given a glimpse into the child’s destiny that he’ll bring paradise to the world. A prophecy that the writers establish head on. This is an unusual circumstance because right here is where Castiel’s solo arc apart from the Sam & Dean takes shape. The journey of becoming a first time parent and guardian. Its a new kind of independence that for the first time has nothing to do with his friends or his family members/colleagues in the sky. Its his own personal mission that he willingly accepts, the second he connects with Jack from inside Kelly. Castiel immediately falls in love with him, before they even see each other; and adopts the boy devoting himself to keeping him safe. Making a promise to Kelly that would later become a vital plot-point in the seasons to come.

Castiel literally risks everything (Heaven and Earth) to ensure Jack’s birth and ends up dead by 12x23′s startling conclusion. Leaving the newborn infant Nephilim alone in the care of the Winchesters going into season 13; scared, confused and aged into a seemingly 18 year old boy for his own protection. And Alexander Calvert who is a fantastic addition to the cast really brings something wonderful to this role; he’s like a breath of fresh air and a bright light in the middle of a dark room. Jack’s naïve, innocent and curious about his surroundings but also as Castiel once put it “remarkably intuitive”. Right when he’s introduced his arc is intentionally paralleled with Castiel’s. Their alien-fish-out-of-water beginning is practically identical as is their adorable stoic facial expressions. Like father like son. And this helps because while the angel is currently dead in the beginning of season 13, there’s an empty void he’s left behind. So Jack is kind of his temporary stand-in. Odd enough this type of switcharoo would’ve been considered very controversial but it’s handled quite well. Alex is so likable and charming I almost wish Supernatural had introduced him sooner. I mean I really thought I was looking at Castiel’s actual mini-me and not the son of Satan. But I digress Jack’s story in the first half of this season is pretty much about discovery and reuniting with Castiel. He’s a baby so everything is new to him but he’s also one of the most powerful beings in the universe destined for greatness which makes the Winchesters very nervous.

Jack remembers choosing Castiel as his dad which is why he already feels strongly connected to him. Its a bond so powerful that it actually resurrects Castiel out of the Empty the first time. Something Chuck himself was unable to do (that was until the mess that is 15x19). When they’re finally reunited the payoff comes so naturally. Misha and Alex have such a phenomenal onscreen chemistry starting with that first hug; they really play off one another so well that it doesn’t feel like two angels interacting but a genuine father and son duo. So much of what makes Jack and Castiel’s relationship so relatable, deep and endearing is because of what the actors bring to it. But they’re not just a fascinating relationship, they’re compelling on their own too. Both trying to find their way in the world and within the Winchesters’ lives. Death is no stranger to either of them (tragic being that Jack is only a toddler). They’ve each experienced their own personal pain, traumas, life lessons, mistakes and decisions. The biggest for Castiel would be his deal with the Empty to save Jack in 14x08. While for Jack it was the consequences of said deal that would lose his soul causing him to accidently kill Sam and Dean’s mom in 14x18 as a result (something that Jack struggles with immensely to the brink of depression from so much guilt and regret that he’d rather die). Repercussions that would follow into the shows final season. What’s interesting about this deal though is that Castiel made it on parental instinct alone not as a promise to Kelly. He chose to sacrifice himself for the sake of his son as a selfless act of love and kept it a secret from Sam & Dean until his death in 15x18. That’s the extent how much this child meant to him. The other great thing about their family dynamic is that it parallels nicely with the Winchesters. Castiel and Jack share this unconditional love that can never be broken. its even greater than their ties to the Winchesters themselves just as Sam & Dean’s love for each other is greater than any of their other relationships. They would do anything for each other. Castiel would go to the ends of the earth for the little nougat baby because that’s his son.

Each time these characters were faced with danger or died, Castiel and Jack were overcome with extreme devastation and distress. That said its not just pain that binds these two its happiness. Jack is the best thing that ever happened to Castiel. Literally becoming a father to that child saved him. It brought him back to life, restored his faith and gave him a sense of self-worth and hope he’d long since abandoned. And for Jack, Castiel is the best dad he’ll ever have! He gave this baby comfort, wisdom, nurturing, strength. Was always there when he needed him whether it was to talk or to have his back. No other person in Jack’s life has ever made such an important impact nor made him feel more safe and loved than Castiel. Even when Jack had done such a horrible thing to Mary alienating himself from his family; it was Castiel’s unyielding devotion to Jack that ended up being his salvation. This was huge because once again he’d chosen over the Winchesters proving that no matter what (whether it be the world ending) his son comes first. So when Castiel’s pact with the Empty finally comes due in 15x18 you’d think it’d have an earth-shattering affect on Jack in 15x19. I mean for the first bit it does...until he becomes God. Then its like to hell with that relationship. Castiel is a complete afterthought to Jack and the rest of TFW in this episode. JACK DOESN’T EVEN GET TO GRIEVE HIM PROPERLY. And he just lost his dad because of a deal he’d made a year ago for him. A DEAL JACK HAS BEEN FUCKING DREADING WHILE HE WAS SOULLESS MIND YOU. And when he finally has the power to bring him back, he doesn’t? Jack just walks around with a conceited smirk on his face, bids Sam and Dean adieu and fucks off. I mean who gives a shit right, its only your dad that you love more than anything. This was extremely OOC given that time in 14x14 Jack nearly lost his shit when Castiel got infected with gorgon poison; the anti-venom wasn’t working so Jack resorts to using his powers putting his soul at risk.

I mean if he was so limited to helping Castiel in the Empty AT LEAST FREAKING CLARIFIY THIS TO THE AUDIENCE. This is not about shipping a certain pairing btw. Jack becoming God is not the issue its his characterization after the fact. His first instinct would’ve been to save his dad above getting in touch with the Earth. Yes we knew this transformation was coming it was foreshowed way back in Season 12. Does that justify bad writing or character assassination?? HELL NO.

This is what I’m talking about, episode 15x19 deliberately butchers these characters and their relationships. It shat all over them. No one is behaving like themselves. The pacing is wonky and inconstant. The script feels like it underwent several rewrites and I swear there were scenes cut out. The acting is off too and maybe the pandemic could be blamed for these things but it ultimately falls on the writer. Buckleming screwed up by showing us they don’t know who the hell these characters are, their motivations nor do they give a rat’s ass. And its noticeable on screen. I’ve known better fanfiction writers for SPN than these guys. It’s like they all came back to work but just didn’t care to put the effort into it. That’s why people like me are upset and we have every freaking right to be. Some of us have been with this series for the entire 15 year run. I at least expect these characters to be handled better and for things to make sense. 15x19 doesn’t and its not satisfying its just a cruel joke. The writers and Dabb should be embarrassed to have put this out there thinking we’d just swallow it and shut up. But far as I’m concerned the only thing this episode serves is to disrespect and ruin everybody while angering long-time fans.

MICHAEL. ADAM MILLIGAN. JACK KLINE AND CASTIEL DESERVED BETTER. And that’s the tea.

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redwinterroses · 3 years ago

Note

Could you do something with 3rd Life Joel?

Harley I saw your reply on my 2AM post last night and YES the weird Joel thing IS from your ask. XD I had no idea what to do with this originally because Joel has a lot of good moments but I really wasn't in the mood to do much angsty with him (Joel kind of... exudes anti-angst. He's just so factual about everything and the sarcasm is Off The Charts. I love it.)

But I was getting ready to sleep and randomly scrolled past a post about the myth of Black Shuck and the Wild Hunt and my brain was suddenly possessed by a wild spirit of fanfiction so.... Here. Have this Very Odd piece.

(It works best if you read it in a messy Irish accent, lol.)

(also this may be a lead-up to my Trickster God Scar and Archangel Grian thing someday. We'll see.)

~*~

The Wild Hunt

Listen here, child, and I’ll tell ya a tale: the tale of the Wolf King, and a Wild Hunt.

What? Ya know the story? Sit down and hush—you ain’t heard it the way I’ll tell it. And I should know: I seen him myself.

Would ya call yer old granny a liar? For shame. Sit down, you. Eat yer cookie. Listen.

(don’t pinch yer brother, ya nugget, or no more cookies for you.)

He were born out of flames and fire and smoke, y’see. Born when he died, t’be fair, but born in fire all the same. ‘Twas the Grave Maiden what set his roof aflame, she an’ her undead hoard, and of course the Trickster was there as well—fat lot o’ good that did the Wolf King. But he chose his bed, and he laid in it, and we all reap his dreams thereafter.

So there he were, all newly grey and smoulderin’ and his eyes a’burnt like coals and fire and his belly growlin’ for revenge. But he weren’t the Wolf King, not yet—he were then only a lowly red, with naught but one life—like you or me.

(how’d he start with more than one? Well he were a god, weren’t he? Or he were meant to be. No, I don’t know who choses them things—prob’ly the Archangel but don’t tell the cleric you heard that from me. He don’t like me puttin’ the Angel over the Trickster or the Red King. Clerics don’t have much imagination, y’see.)

So what did he do with his one life? With his one, bloody, beatin’ red heart? “Well,” he says, he says to himself, “I need me an army, if I’m gonna take down the Grave Maiden.”

(Shush, child, don’t spoil the story. Yer brother don’t know how it ends.)

“I need me an army,” says he. “But no one will ally with me, and if they did: I’d kill them anyway—” y’see, he had taste for blood, woke with it in his teeth, like any good wolf. “—I’d kill them anyway, the whole world is my enemy.”

So instead of allies, he went to the wolves. And he went to the great da wolf and the great mam wolf, and he says to them, he says: “Give me some of yer children, to fight in my wars.”

And of course the wolves said that was crazy, they weren’t gonna send their children off with some grey-faced red-lifer on a quest to fight the gods. But the Wolf King—

(No, he weren’t the Wolf King yet. No, I don’t know what he were called before. He didn’t matter before.)

The Wolf King—who wasn’t the Wolf King yet—bared his bloody teeth at them wolves and growled at them and said in the words of wolves that they could send their children with him, or he could take ‘em on his own.

Now, wolves is wise—remember that, nugget—wolves is wise, and wolves is knowing. And they looked at this red in front of them and they were knowing that he weren’t lying. And they looked at this red and they were wise and said “Fine, alright, you can take any of ourn that’ll go with ye.”

“Fair enough,” says he. And wolf pups ain’t so wise and so knowing as their parents—remember that, nugget, parents know more’n you give ‘em grief for—so he left with his army: a passel o’ young, foolish wolves.

(Well. Some might say they was foolish. Some might say they was grand and brave and the best wolves to be born on this earth. Some might say that they can be both. Don’t ya go askin’ the cleric though.)

So there he be, this Wolf King and his pack. His army: his teeth and his claws. And now, on moonless nights, ye can hear ‘em: forever huntin’ for the Grave Maiden and her Fallen One and her hordes—she’s his sworn enemy, ya know. But that don’t stop him fightin’ with the other gods too.

He loves to chase the Red King over the mountains—sometimes ya can hear them in the night, howlin’ back and forth at each other, the wolves runnin’ the King and his Hand over the peaks and into the desert dunes. And sometimes the Red King comes after him and the pack too, o’course, but that’s a story for another night and older ears. It’s a bit too sad for cookies by the fire.

(No, love—yer mum’d kill me if I sang the Fall of the Wolf King with yer brother here. He’s too young for that tale.)

He’ll never defeat the Grave Maiden, and he’ll never catch the Red King, and he’ll never burn down all the Flower Kingdom no matter how many times he tries: that’s the nature o’ the gods, y’see, and it’s what makes us happier creatures. ‘Cause they can never finish their stories—they’re trapped in a forever dance of give and take, alliance and war, love and hate. But it’s all real, an’ it’s all true.

And believe me or not but cross my one bleedin’ heart and hope to die (that’s another thing not to repeat in front o’ the cleric, ya hear me, child?): I seen him.

I seen the Wolf King. Just once, but that were enough.

I seen him under the moonlight, racin’ across the moors with his bayin’ army at his back an’ at his front an’ all around him: a sea of white fur, frothin’ about like foam on the surf. All their eyes were burnin’ in the moonlight—I swear it on the Dragon herself. Burnin’ red, they was, like the very flames the Grave Maiden lit. They looked right at me, and I knew—I knew I were his next kill.

(The Wolf King ain’t nice, child. Of course he ain’t nice. He’s mad is what he is. And madmen don’t make for good people to meet when you’re crossing the moors alone of a night, on yer way home from a dance in Crastleton.)

(What do ya mean ya don’t want a sad story? The sad part’s over, child—clearly I didn’t get gobbled up by the Wolf King’s pack, or else who’d be here tellin’ ya this story now, I ask ya? Sit back down with yer sister and listen.)

So I seen him over the crest of the hill, with the moon a silver ha’penny in the sky above and the stars all a-glimmer and a-shinin’ like the lights of the Widow’s crown. And they came down the hill and they swept over me—all them wolves, all glory and soft and fang and hot breath on me face and I closed me eyes—I did!—and just waited for them to gobble me up.

But ya know what happened instead? ‘Course you don’t, that’s why I’m tellin’ ya. Instead o’ teeth and claws and my one life bleedin’ out on the moor… I hears a voice.

No, he didn’t say nothin’, it weren’t words. The Wolf King don’t use human words no more.

But he were laughin’.

Imagine that! Imagine me, not so much older than you, love, alone out on the moor and ringed about by the Wolf King’s army all a’swirlin’ and boundin’ around me: and the Wolf King laughs.

I couldn't help meself, though I'll never know why: but I laughed too.

And then he grabbed me by me arm and we ran.

Oh, my children. If I live to be a thousand I’ll never forget that night.

(Don’t you repeat this to the cleric. Or yer mother. They both think I’m dotty as a bat as it is.)

The Wolf King and his pack run faster than birds can fly—faster than horses, faster than hounds. Faster than I could run, even then: but it didn’t matter. They carried me along, light as a feather and more nimble than a hare. Over the mountain, down the vale, through the ruins of the Flower Kingdom—yes, I’ve seen the Flower Kingdom, but only by moonlight and we didn’t stop, but I heard later that there was fires again so he must have gotten his bite at the Widow and the Soldier when I weren’t lookin’.

And all the while, the whole pack was howlin’. Howlin’ like the front gale of a nor’easter comin’ up the coast: the wolves was howlin’, and the King was howlin’, and Void take me if I weren’t howlin’ too, just like this—

(Oh hush, child, that weren’t even so loud. End’s all, if you ain’t a skittish little creature—get back here and eat another cookie.)

We ran all night, runnin’ and howlin’ and leavin’ fire and fang in our wake. But it couldn’t last forever, as the Wolf King only wanted me runnin’ with him as long as it was sportin’, and even with the wolves carryin’ me along I did get tired. More tired than I’ve ever been before or since, I don’t mind tellin’ ya.

So come mornin’, come dawnin’ of the next day’s sun, I find myself back on the road to Crastleton. My dress were in tatters and my feet were a bleedin’ mess of cuts and blisters that never did hurt, my hair tangled with wind knots and wolf hair, and my throat hoarse from howlin’.

And just before he left, him swirlin’ about with a millin’ mess of wolves around his feet, the Wolf King looked at me—looked at me, I tell ya—and gave me a grin that were full of as many teeth as there are leaves in a tree. He tossed me this, and then he were gone—sweeping up and away off the moor like nothing more than a ghost in a dream.

(Here, look at it. What do you think it is? I’ve always said it’s a claw, but what kinda creature has silver claws, I ask you? Give that back to me now, child—it hasn’t left me side in six times so long as you’ve been alive, and it’ll be buried with me if I can get someone other than the cleric to do the job.)

So of course the Wolf King is real! And so the Trickster and the Archangel and the Grave Maiden and the Widow and the Soldier and the Red King and the Hand and all the rest of them. If ye’re very, very good, and very, very lucky, mayhap you’ll even see them one day.

Because of course, they might be gods, child. But in one way, they’re just like you and me: they’ve got but one life—red and bloodied and barin’ their teeth.

And the Wolf King runs forever, chasing after the Grave Maiden and her Fallen One and even the Traitor when the mood strikes him. He’ll never catch her, but she’ll never outrun him either. The Wolf King hunts forever.

Now—you finish up that cookie and run outside. I hear your mama callin’ for you. And remember: we don’t tell Mama anything Granny says about the cleric, alrighty?

Alrighty.

Goodnight, children—sleep tight; don’t let the phantoms bite.

And just maybe—if you’re real, real quiet—you might hear the howling.

Howl back.

#i take the 'you could make a religion out of this' meme as a personal challenge #two fics in one day? more likely than you think #the funny part is how it took DAYS to write Impulse's Sweet Dreams fic and this weird thing took less than two hours #such is the writer brain #redwinterwrites #3rd life smp #3rd life fanfiction #smallishbeans #3rd life joel #folklore au

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i-need-entertainment · 4 years ago

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It’s my Fault...right?

Character: Komori x female reader **TOXIC RELATIONSHIP** Washio x female reader...Pretty long too..

WARNINGS: Toxic relationship, mental and emotional abuse and manipulation, gaslighting, reader thinking things are her fault. ANGST, some yandere themes/behaviors.

*So uh...this got pretty uh, pretty rough. I would not recommend reading this if you do not like angst. Also, I love Komori and I am in love with Washio, so this one hurted.*

@motoyafightclub I hope this was angsty enough~😌

**PSA: I AM IN NO WAY ROMANCING OR EXCUSING ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR, THIS IS AN ANGST, IT WILL NOT END WELL. I AM VERY CLEAR THAT THIS IS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, IT IS ABUSIVE, IT IS NOT HEALTHY, OKAY OR JUSTIFIED!! I DO NOT THINK KOMORI WOULD EVER BE LIKE THIS, BUT THIS IS FANFICTION, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT, DO NOT READ IT!**

Komori Motoya was known to all as a joyous, kind and considerate man. He was hard working and inspiring, he could light up a room just by walking into it. That was how everyone saw Komori Motoya. Everyone except you, who knew much, much better.

Komori was a nice guy, he was always smiling and always positive. But he was also incredibly two faced. You were 16 years old when you met Komori. He had come up to you one day during lunch in your second year of high school, asking if you could help him with some class work he had been struggling with. It was on your second study session when you realized he didn’t need your help at all.

When you asked him about it, he simply confessed he felt he needed an excuse to talk to you, him feeling you wouldn’t have been interested in getting to know him. You, who had been admiring him from afar for the past 2 years let him know that was not the case, and the ‘study sessions’ turned into get togethers. About 2 weeks later he asked you out officially, you of course said yes.

That was 7 years ago.

A lot can change in 7 years, a lot did change.

But nothing changed as much as he did.

To most, he was still the same happy-go-lucky Komori, always smiling and cracking a smile. But that was when he was out of the house, and the two of you weren’t alone. Because alone…well, you didn’t know who he was when it was just you two.

You couldn’t place just when he changed either. There was no traumatic experience, no negative changes made to his day to day life. And yet he was…off. He didn’t like you hanging around your friends as much, which confused you, he always liked your friends. But he would never lie to you so you started spending more time with him, and less time with your friends.

It seemed to be that way with most aspects of your life, if he didn’t like something, you changed it, no questions asked. Asking questions only made him mad, and you didn’t want him mad, you wanted him to be happy! So you did as he requested, even if you yourself didn’t think it was fair.

You could tell he wasn’t the same, at least not to you. But it became most noticeable when you two moved in together when you were 19. You had been going to college and he had advanced greatly in his career, your relationship was steady and strong, so it seemed like the perfect time to take that next leap.

It started off small.

He was always a little bit more irritable than he normally was, nothing too major. It could be from you leaving a plate in the sink even though you did dishes that morning, or you forgot to move the washed clothes into the dryer one time. But it was also on days he had a rough practice, so you let it slide.

Why wouldn’t you? You knew he didn’t do it on purpose..you knew he didn’t mean it. Why are you upset? Why are you getting defensive? Are you questioning him? Why are you doubting him? He just had a bad day, he can be upset, he deserves to be, you do not.

Every time he blew up at you it always ended the same way, it was your fault because you overreacted.

That was one thing you learned after living with him for 3 months, you were the one at fault, not him. And you had no right to suggest otherwise.

But it wasn’t bad, no. He was having a lot of bad days anyone would be upset! I mean…sure, he shouldn’t be directing it at you, but…he can’t help it, he’s not doing it on purpose. It doesn’t mean anything. You know your Toya loves you, he tells you every day, so why would you doubt your precious Motoya? Stop being a terrible girlfriend…

It wasn’t long before you stopped questioning the biting words, he threw towards you, because after months of hearing them, you started believing them too.

He was right after all…wasn’t he? I mean, isn’t he always?

The next big change you noticed was how utterly controlling he became. It wasn’t just about what you two ate for dinner, or what movie you watched. He made the decisions about everything. Specifically every decision about you. What? Didn’t you like the dress he picked out for you? It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t your style, you love him, don’t you?? If you loved him, you wouldn’t question him.

Ah, that’s the other thing he had become exceptionally good at. Guilt tripping.

If there was ever a moment he didn’t want you at a specific place at a specific time, it was simple; you wouldn’t go.

It had been your best friends 21’st birthday when this happened. She had wanted to go out to dinner, nothing crazy, just a nice dinner with her friends and maybe a little shopping. You swore you had told him; you were sure of it. So you were utterly confused when he walked into your shared bedroom, eyes narrowing at the sight of you dressed up nicely.

“…Where are you going..?” You turned around in shock, heart beating unnecessarily fast. You gulped as you fumbled with your words. “U-uhm, it’s Aiko’s birthday, I’m going out to-“ “You’re what?” You stopped talking as your gaze met his ice cold one, eyes unwavering as they stared you down. His stance was relaxed, but it was anything but cheerful. He knew the power he held over you, how else was he supposed to watch over you? Keep you safe…love you. This was what love was. And after 5 years, he thought you knew that.

“I-I told you two days ago..” His eyebrow raised as he very slowly took steps towards you, you unable to go anywhere. “..I don’t remember that sweetheart, are you sure you told me? Because…I specifically remember asking you to tell me things a week in advance…” You looked down as you nodded, hands clasping together In front of you as he stopped before you. Even though you were sure he had never told you that…

He sighed as he started to play with a piece of your hair, “You know I hate when you don’t communicate with me…you’re supposed to let me know these things..you’re supposed to listen to me, you know how hard I work for both of us, you know that…don’t you?” You very meekly nodded, and he shook his head as his hand dropped down to his side.

“Well, you can’t go out, text your friend and tell her you can’t make it.” Your head shot up at his words. “But- Toya, please..I…I haven’t seen her in months and-“ “And?” You gulped at the definite sounding tone he used, but you almost screamed when you saw the look in his eye. There was no trace of the fun-loving Motoya you knew and loved, there was barely anything in the glare he was giving you. But you knew better.

That was two years ago.

And despite your constant wishes for him to change, for him to go back to being the sweet, kind Toya you knew and loved, he was good at reminding you that wasn’t how things were. You thought that was just how it was, he was your first relationship, your first love, your first everything actually…

How could you know better when all you knew was Komori Motoya?

You’ve been out of college for a year now, but you hadn’t gotten a job yet. Your dream job. I’m sure you can guess why you didn’t have a job.

He had been downright insulted when you suggested it, the thought of you being off for a whole 8 hours by yourself, away from him. Out of his reach. Even if all you did now was sit at home and wait for him.

To him the idea seemed downright outrageous, the mere fact you even suggested it being a problem in and of itself. But to you..? A job sounded like freedom. It sounded like being able to do things for yourself again, getting to make (at least a few) choices for yourself, and perhaps the most appealing, it was time away from your lover.

You stilled as the thought crossed your mind. Why do you want time away..? Don’t you love him? Don’t you need him, don’t you rely on him for, everything?

But the more you had these thoughts, the less they made sense.

Wait a minute…you were your own person...weren’t you? Isn’t it your right to think for yourself? To try new things? To make decisions for yourself?

That’s how you found yourself sneaking away to the living room at 11:00 one night, waiting until Komori was sound asleep to use your laptop. You spent the next 2 hours browsing for a job, something, anything you would qualify for. Then you found it.

It was small, you would need to work hard, but you could do it. You took a deep breath as you started the application process, finger shaking as you pressed ‘enter’ and submitted It to the company. You almost smiled, almost, that is until the living room light switched on.

“…what are you doing up so late sweetie?” You froze. He walked towards where you were sitting, swiftly catching the screen right before your successfully closed it, eyes narrowing when he saw what was on it. His brows furrowed as he narrowed his eyes, expression growing more and more frustrated as he looked at the screen before him.

“What is…why did you…and behind my back?” Your hands gripped the edge of his t-shirt, doing whatever you could to will yourself to not cry. “I..I’m sorry but…I-I had to..please, I swear I’ll ask next time but, please let me have this!” You completely broke down, sobs racking your body as you cried. He closed the laptop and set it down on the coffee table, walking over and holding you in his arms.

You didn’t even know why you were crying…guilt? Fear? But why…what did you do?

“…you know you shouldn’t go behind my back, it’s not fair to me. You know better…it was selfish of you, cruel…am I not enough for you?” You shook your head as you pulled away, “Yes! Yes you a-are and I’m sorry. I-I promise I’ll always listen, please! I’m sorry!” He smiled, If that’s what you’d like to call it, as he placed a tender kiss on your forehead. The tenderness gone in a second when his eyes turned to stone. “Fine…but you will never stay late or go out with anyone from work. You go there, and you come straight back here. Do you understand me?” You nodded as you sniffled, holding him tight against you.

That night seemed like a win, and at the time it seemed like it was fair. It made sense; he was doing it because he loved you obviously! Now, in the past 7 years he had yelled, thrown things, demeaned, and degraded you and made you feel completely worthless.

But he never put a harming hand on you, not once.

So it couldn’t have been abuse…he didn’t hurt you physically, he just didn’t understand that what he said had such a devastating effect on you …he didn’t understand the way he broke your heart in two…that’s all this was, a big misunderstanding. You were mixing things up, you were making this a big deal. This was your fault.

I mean…wasn’t it always?

Slipping on your new work shoes, you exited the apartment, shutting and locking the door behind you. Komori left for work about an hour before you did, so it was on you to lock the door and such.

After meeting your new boss and getting the necessary training you would need, you sat down at your new desk. You were an up and coming event coordinator for the Japan Volleyball Association. Oh yeah, that was why he let you take the job, because it was still connected to him. But it was a job nonetheless!

2 months had gone by, and the job was going great. You were making quick progress in your career, and your bosses had taken notice of you. The only downside was you didn’t see Komori as much…but as the days went by…it started to feel like less and less of a downside…things, “normal” things started to seem less and less normal, and increasingly…toxic.

Right now you were walking through the EJP stadium. Your boss had sent you down to the stadium to coordinate some practice games between EJP and some other teams.

You walked through the hallways, heels clacking on the linoleum floors. You were just about to enter the open elevator when “Oof-“ You winced as your bottom met the cold hard floors, “I’m so sorry, are you alright?” You lightly laughed as you nodded your head, opening your eyes to meet the slightly widened ones of Washio Tatsuki.

Clearing his throat, he offered his hand, you gratefully taking it and allowing him to help you up. “I’m fine, it’s my fault I should have been paying more attention…” You looked down as you knelt to the floor, scurrying to pick up the many papers that had scattered when you felt a presence beside you; noticing that he had kneeled beside you and was helping you gather the papers.

You felt like crying. Not only had you only talked to this man a handful of times, but you had bumped into him and inconvenienced him, and here he was picking up the papers you dropped. The gesture was so simple, and when you thought about it, pretty normal. But there was something so simple, so utterly kind that struck you right in the heart. This was how Komori used to treat you…this is what it was like for someone to do something nice for you..

There was no complaining, no expectation for something in return, just a kind smile as he gave you back your papers neatly stacked back together.

“I’m sorry, they’re probably out of order.” You shook your head as you swallowed, “I’m sure it’s fine…thank you, it’s nice to see you Washio” He nodded as he stood, you standing as well. “It’s been awhile, it’s nice to see you L/n. I was getting worried, I haven’t seen you in awhile.” You offered a small smile as you nodded. “Well…I just don’t go out much anymore…but uhm, I should get going.” He nodded, “It was nice to see you again. Oh, and the office you need is on the other side of the stadium.” You groaned as you dragged one of your hands down your face, sighing and muttering an ‘of course it is’ as you lightly laughed.

Washio offered a small smile, “I was headed that way, would you mind if I walked you there?” You blinked, You knew you should refuse, say you could find it by yourself. But he was being so…kind. So respectful…So much like what Komori used to be… You couldn’t refuse. “Not at all.”

You hadn’t done anything bad, you had run into him and he offered to help you find your destination. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the encounter, and when Washio asked for your number to be friends again, you gave it to him. There was nothing wrong with that either. Afterall, you used to be friends with him.

When Komori had started at EJP, your relationship hadn’t gotten so bad He often took you with him to social events and team things, and you had gotten along well with the middle blocker. It had been concerning to him when it was like all of a sudden you had dropped off the face of the earth, Komori always having a reason as to why though..

There really was nothing wrong with the encounter, or what followed.

But when you came home that night…things were not okay. As soon as you stepped foot in the house you could feel Komori’s glare slicing through you. You gripped the strap of your purse as you willed yourself not to break.

“What happened earlier with Washio?” Your eyes widened, how did he know..? “Answer me!” You flinched as his voice echoed off the apartment walls. “I ran into him a-and he helped me! That’s all! I swear!” He snarled as he walked towards you, you yelping as he tore your bag away from you, frantically searching for something. “Where is it?” “where is wha-“ “Your phone!” You took a step away from him.

“…why do you want to see my phone..?” He glared at you, “So I can delete his number.” Your eyes widened. No…he couldn’t do that…that’s not…it’s not fair.

You gulped as you clenched your fist, “….no..” One of his eyebrows lifted. “…no?” You looked to him with tears in your eyes, be it from fear or from pain was unknown. “No…you can’t look in m-my phone…you can’t- you can’t control me anymore…I am my own person, you don’t own me…It’s not my fault.” This wasn’t okay, the words, the thoughts, nothing about this was okay. And it had to end…Before he could so much as blink you spoke again “….goodbye Motoya..” Not bothering to grab your things (not like you had anything important there anyway) you turned around and headed back to your car (luckily your keys had been in one pocket, your phone in the other).

You got in your car, and you drove. Adrenaline coursing through your veins as you drove. You got 15 minutes before the tears started falling. 7 years…you had been with him for 7 years…and it was all gone.

You pulled into the parking lot of some random fast food place and pulled into one of the more secluded parking spots. You gasped for air as you continued to cry, all of the tension that’s been collecting inside of you releasing itself through your cries. Your phone started buzzing, and after wiping your eyes on your sleeve you checked to see the caller ID, quickly declining the call from ‘Toya<3’ before you blocked his number, deleting your social medias as you did that. You spent an hour in that parking lot, crying and reflecting, and as you did things started to make sense, and you started to see things about your relationship that you hadn’t.

For starters, it was not a good relationship. At all. He was manipulative and cruel, and controlling is an understatement. He made you feel like you were always at fault, like everything bad happened because of you. But that’s not true…you are more than that.

Sniffling and wiping your still damp eyes on your even damper sweater sleeve, you picked up your phone and called the one other person you could.

It was a gamble, and it would no doubt be weird, but something was telling you to make the call.

So, you scrolled through your short list of contacts and clicked on his.

*riiiiiing* *riiiiiing* *riii-* “Hello?” You sighed, “Hi, Uhm, this is L/n from earlier, *sniffle*, uh, I’m really sorry to call you, but um…could I stay with you? I know that sounds really weird and probably creepy but. *Sniff* Motoya and I Just broke up and- and I need to talk to someone and…and I need somewhere to go…” The other side of the line was quiet for a moment, “I’ll text you my address, please be safe, call me when you get here I’ll come down and get you.”

That was the moment you knew, Washio Tatsuki was someone you could rely on.

Which was good, because as of the moment he was the only one you could rely on.

You spent the night crying your eyes out on Washio’s shoulder as he did his best to comfort you. He wasn’t used to being peoples go-to guy for comfort, but he definitely wouldn’t turn anyone away, and especially not you. So, he listened when you needed to rant, gave advice when you asked for it, and soothingly rubbed your back when you started hiccupping from crying so hard.

You thanked him as you carefully sipped the cup of tea he had made you. Your eyes burned, slightly squinted as you gingerly sipped from the warm cup. You were exhausted; physically and emotionally drained, and heart broken. “..sorry…I’m a mess…” He shook his head, “Don’t be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for.” You shakily set the cup down when you started to cry again, elbows resting in your lap as you clutched your face with your hands. Washio started to freak out a bit, he had spent the past 2 hours consoling you, did he really just make you cry again?!

“I-I’m sorry, it’s just,” You laughed, maybe a bit more from hysteria than humor but you laughed nonetheless. You sniffled and rubbed your eyes before looking up to him, smiling up at him. “It’s been so long since I heard that…thank you..thank you so much.” He smiled and handed you another tissue, you taking it and wiping the new tears that had fallen.

You spent the night in his guest room, and for the first time in who knows how long, you slept very well. Because for the first time in who knows how long, you felt safe. Washio made you feel safe.

Seeing as your work was close and you needed some time to get back on your feet, Washio offered to let you stay with him until you found a place of your own. And from there, you two got close. He was someone you could depend on. He was honest and steadfast, he never pinned his wrong doings on you and he was clear with his intentions. He never twisted your words or placed blame, he was so incredibly good to you, and you weren’t even dating.

Although…it wasn’t completely out of the question..

It had been six months since your break up with Komori, and you were still living with Washio. And after countless late-night conversations and several deep conversations, you decided you were ready to move on with your life, from your first love. You were ready to move on from Komori, and move on with Washio. So, you two started dating.

Your life had been going great, but there was this unmistakable feeling of doubt, of guilt eating away at you. No matter how far you pushed it away, no matter how much you ignored it, it was always there. But, you ignored it, or tried to. You had other things to think about!

Washio was an incredible boyfriend, he truly was. He was everything you could have ever asked for and more. He was more than you deserved…were you even good enough to call yourself his girlfriend?

You had gone to the store to get some groceries for dinner. You held the small list in your hand as you scanned the grocery aisle shelves, looking for the specific thing you needed. You jumped a bit when your hand bumped into someone else’s, someone who had been reaching for the same item.

You turned to apologize when you stilled. “Hey Y/n, it’s been while.” You swallowed and tried to smile, “Hello Motoya….” The aisle had been empty aside from the two of you, and you were feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

“So, Washio huh? He must treat you well.” You nodded, “yeah, he does.” Komori looked at you, that same dangerous glint in it. “He’s a great boyfriend I’m sure but…it’s too bad you can’t be a great girlfriend.”

You glared as you stopped yourself from hitting him. “Before you get all mad, look at the facts. You don’t deserve him because you’re not meant to be. Don’t you think he’s sick of taking care of you all the time? Don’t you think maybe he doesn’t want to deal with you? Well? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t think those things, I think you’ve forgotten, I know you.” He stepped closer and grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer to him. Leaning down to where his mouth was right next to your ear he spoke in a low voice.

“..You’re mine, that’s how it is…you will never have anyone else because you don’t deserve anyone else, I am the only person who will ever love you, who ever can love you, you need to accept it.” He pulled away, a feeling of satisfaction running through him as he saw the walls begin to come crashing down inside of you. Watching each and every doubt that had been circling your mind slowly take control of your thoughts and rationality.

“Face it, you’re just not enough for him, I mean, c’mon Y/n. He’s a professional athlete that could have anyone, he’ll leave you someday…but I won’t. I’ll always be here, because I’ve always been there. I am home for you, and I know you know that. Don’t throw away 7 years, not after all we’ve been together, come back to me.”

You knew what you should do. You should scream, run out of the store and into Washio’s arms. Heck, you wanted to do that more than anything. But. He was right…Washio didn’t deserve that…he could do so, so much better, you were just wasting his time.

He shouldn’t have to put up with you…it’s not fair…was this all you did? Cause the people around you pain?

You wiped the tears that started to fall, “…fine…”

Komori Motoya was known to all as a kind and fun person, always there to support a friend and the life of the party.

But you knew better.

And you should’ve known better than to think you could get away, since you’ll always just come crawling back to him. You should’ve known better than to got to that grocery store alone. And as Washio spent the night alone, phone still where he dropped it after reading the text you sent, breaking up with him. He knew he never should’ve let you go alone.

But even if you knew better, if you knew what you were going back to, you couldn’t complain. This was on you after all.

I mean, wasn’t it always?

#komori angst #komori motoya #motoya komori #komori x reader #washio tatsuki #washio angst #toxic relationship tw #abusive relationship tw #mental abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #manipulation #gaslighting #haikyu x reader #haikyu angst #slight yandere #ANGST

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straysinfiltrator · 3 years ago

Text

Tagged by @tumbleweedtech and @queenmevesknickers Thank you and sorry this took me so long! <3

What is your total word count on AO3?

53,598

How many fandoms have you written for?

Just Thronebreaker and the Witcher.

What were your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Hard Bargain A Rivian Affair The Werewolf You Feed A Dangerous Road The Cave-In

Do you respond to comments - why, why not?

Yes, I absolutely love getting comments and I try to respond to all.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

All my fics have endings that are at least hopeful, but probably A Private History which puts an OT3 spin on one of the Thronebreaker endings.

What's your fic with the angsty-est ending?

Possibly A Dangerous Road because it doesn't leave much room for reconciliation between Reynard and Gascon after an almost deadly confrontation. Still one of my favorites.

Do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Yes! I like to make it about the characters and their feelings and the way they interact with each other; the physical stuff just serves to ultimately bring that out. I think a sex scene isn't that different from the usual plot and dialog, it's just telling the story from a new angle. Like in A Hard Bargain Reynard and Gascon are having their usual rivalry, but at this point it's become playful rather than serious, with Gascon's mischief set against Reynard's formality and pride, and it's just fun to see that carry over into the sex.

Do you write crossovers?

I might do some Thronebreaker/The Witcher 3 some day but that’s the same universe so more like half a crossover?

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, everyone I’ve met in the Thronebreaker fandom has been incredibly nice. I feel very lucky to have found such an awesome community.

What is your all time favourite pairing?

I don’t really have a favorite. I look for good writing and fun dynamics. Enemies or almost-enemies to lovers is always a favorite if done well. I also read a fair number of non-fanfiction romance novels.

What is a fic you would like to finish but don't think you ever will?

The Captive Brigand, set in an AU where the war with Nilfgaard doesn’t happen and Gascon stays a bandit leader. I was going to continue the plot but I have a lot of other things I want to write that take precedence.

Writing strengths?

My fics wouldn't be half as good without my amazing husband who beta reads and edits all my work with ruthless attention to detail, and also gives me honest feedback on what is and isn’t working at the planning stage. I also do quite a lot of editing passes myself especially for things like sex scenes and I think that makes a big difference compared to what they're like in the first draft.

Writing weaknesses?

I’m a new writer so I’m still figuring out a lot of things. But what bothers me the most is that my writing brain just doesn’t seem to work some days even if I want to write. If I could be more consistent about writing regularly, I think everything else would come together with practice.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Thronebreaker. I only started writing fiction about half a year ago.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

A Rivian Affair. The evening after I finished Thronebreaker I came across this amazing (very NSFW) Gascon/Meve art by Ástor Alexander, with Gascon looking all scruffy and dangerous in his brigand’s clothes, and he’s on one knee going down on Meve who is beautiful and regal and half undressed on the writing desk of her royal tent, and it just seemed at once impossible and also something I desperately wanted to see happening not just as a hot fantasy but as a moment that these two people could have realistically found a way to share, in the middle of a war and despite all the trust barriers and class differences between them. So that’s what inspired the fic and it took months to work it out but now that it's done it feels like canon in my head so it was worth it.

Tagging @theobscurepotato and if anyone else I haven't tagged wants to respond please consider yourself invited, no pressure of course :-)

#ask game #thronebreaker #my writing #fanfic

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forestwater87 · 4 years ago

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I'm screaming. I just realized this was the legendary Forest Water from Ao3, the creator of the fandom last names Santos and Greenwood, and I didn't know all this time?! What?! I can't actually believe it. Your stuff is legendary! I really enjoy your fanfiction, and you're a great creator. Any advice for a fanfic writer who starts to write a Gwenvid longfic? Any tips on how to become a sucessful fandom memeber? Sorry this is so long, I just really enjoy your work!

These two happened to dovetail really nicely, so I wanted to respond to them in a single (very long) post. I’ve talked a little about getting started writing in the past, but specifically about writing Gwenvid? That’s a little different, and interesting to explore.

I think, anyway. But I always find Gwenvid interesting.

1. Thank you!

I don’t consider myself especially famous or special -- certainly not anymore, when my updates to my flagship fic are annual at best -- so it’s a little weird that there are people looking at me like that. However, it’s also really touching and encouraging, so I’m at a loss for words. Not sure how to respond to such kind comments, so . . . you know, thanks.

2. Writing Gwenvid -- especially longfic

Here’s the thing: There isn’t a single fic I’ve written that I expected to become long. The first “Tigger & Eeyore” was supposed to be like 5 chapters and then ballooned into 14 and a sequel (which it’s now looking like is going to explode into its own sequel, so yikes).

There’s a reason they’re called plotbunnies: they multiply like crazy. So if you have a single-shot idea or shortfic that you’re not sure will have legs, just start writing it. It might end up wrapping up rather quickly and you can move on to the next idea without it hanging over your head, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes something much larger totally organically.

Also, keep your plots kind of . . . vague? At least, in my experience I’ve found that helps. A generic idea of the world you want to build and a couple set pieces (i.e., major conflicts or story beats) gives you room to play around without pressure to make it “add up to” something. I’ve never written a fic that had a story in the first 4-5 chapters, and that’s how I like it. It’ll . . . just sort of materialize, while you’re exploring the world.

I mean, if you want to write a tightly-paced epic with a twisty, intricate plot, then you’re going to want to find an author who does that sort of thing. My stories tend to be a lot more meandering.

OH! Also get really flowery with your language. Eats up word counts like Wheaties.

Okay, but Gwenvid specifically: if you want to be mostly canon-compliant, the big thing is that we only see them in the context of this one improbably long summer. There are years of story before and after that point that we’ll never get to see, and I think it’s really interesting. (Especially the before part; I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone write a “prequel” to Camp Camp, but how fun is that idea???) When it comes to “fill in the blanks” fanfic writing, it’s really nice to have a story, relationship, and world with so many blanks. There’s a lot you can do just by writing about what they’re up to the rest of the year.

As for AUs: go nuts. Fucking go wild, you funky lil person. Groundhog Day. Ghostbusters. Lost in Translation. Movies that don’t star Bill Murray, probably. Find a straight couple and make them Gwenvid, and go goddamn bonkers with the possibilities. Find a world with Gwenvid-like characters and make them Gwenvid. The possibilities are literally endless.

3. Fandom engagement and being a BNF

Huh. Not sure where to go with this one.

Like I said, I don’t consider myself much of a BNF (that’s “big-name fan,” for those of you who might have a life outside of tumblr) -- certainly not anymore. And honestly, becoming “popular” in this economy fandom isn’t . . . necessarily going to be super easy.

I mean, don’t get me wrong! The fandom isn’t dead by any means; people are still writing, and still being read. But if you look at the track record over time:

Average kudos counts of Forestwater’s fics by year:

2016: 574

2017: 277

2018: 79

2019: 60

2020: 50

(if you ever wondered why I had a serious emotional crisis about the quality of my writing and general popularity in 2018 and 2019, that drop should tell you a lot)

Now, some of this is certainly my fault. The most important thing when it comes to fandom success is engagement: the more you write, the more attention you’re going to get. If you can stick to a regular update schedule, you’re going to be on the front page and in the top of the tags, and people will see your stuff and be more likely to read it. And attention is self-generating, because the more kudos and hits you have, the more people are going to check out your work just to see what the big deal is. So getting laid off and deeply depressed, then not updating at a time when the fandom was already beginning a pretty steady downward trajectory anyway . . . was not my best move in terms of relevance.

And engagement doesn’t necessarily have to mean updates, by the way! (Though you should update regularly if you want the attention.) Sharing headcanons, answering asks, starting fandom drama and ship wars . . . that’s all the kind of thing that establishes you as an authority; even if people think you’re wrong, they’ll think you’re someone whose opinion is worth disagreeing with, if they see you mouthing off in the tags enough.

I’m not confident this is a good call, but Snowqueens Icedragon didn’t get massive fandom success by not starting flame wars, is all I’m saying.

If you have the spoons to answer questions, people will want to ask them. No one wants to talk to someone who won’t reply to them. The most popular artists and authors are always going to be the ones who interact with the fandom the most. Higher output, more attention, more praise. I’m not saying it’s fair -- in fact, it very well might not be -- but that’s the nature of the beast.

Also, play to the fandom. Camp Camp fans want to see dadvid. They want to see dan/vid. They want to see Max-centric content, and they probably want it to be angsty. They want to see self-inserts dating David. If you can give them some of that stuff (none of which is inherently bad, to be clear, nor is it inherently good; it’s just what’s popular, and tbh if you can cram it all in one fic that’d be amazing), you have the benefit of giving people exactly what they want.

To be clear, don’t write about things that don’t inspire you; aside from it being a soul-crushing endeavor, it’s noticeable when someone’s heart just isn’t in it, and it’s even harder to keep those regular updates. But if the things you’re passionate about happen to be the things the fandom really wants to see at the moment, then you’re much closer to riding the kudos train, my friendo.

But here’s the thing: even if you do everything right, you might still get screwed.

Some of this is just due to the fact that Camp Camp is always a dead fandom in the off-seasons, and we don’t know how long this current off-season is going to last. Hell, we don’t have to look at me for this:

This is “How to Foster an Asshole” by emiartse. It’s one of the fandom’s most popular fics, with a whopping 962 kudos. Hot damn, look at that engagement. That’s a fucking fic right there!

This is the sequel, which has 122 kudos. Nothing to sneeze at, to be sure -- I think we’d all be delighted to have 122 kudos -- but even the general tendency of sequels to have less attention than a series debut doesn’t entirely explain such a precipitous drop. And emiartse is doing everything right! This is dadvid! And momgwen! It’s just as well-written as the first; it’s not like we suddenly experience a decrease in quality or anything. It came right on the heels of the first one ending, and the updates have been more or less like clockwork, in keeping with the previous story.

So what changed?

Well, HTFAA was first published in 2019, right on the heels of Season 4′s finale and when fandom hype was pretty high. HTAAA was published in September 2020, during this whole “world pandemic and every political disaster all at once” thing that’s got us all fucked up -- and especially, during a period where we all knew Camp Camp wasn’t coming back for the year, and maybe not ever.

It’s . . . not a great time to be a writer for Camp Camp if your goal is popularity. I mean, it’s never a great time to be a writer if your goal is popularity -- consider the tragic difference in notes between ellohcee’s gorgeous art and their equally-excellent writing just for comparison -- but it’s especially tough now. If you really want to be a huge name in the fandom, my suggestion is to travel back in time to 2016 and establish yourself as the pioneer of something (seriously, it can be anything; there was basically nothing in the fandom at that time. Every idea was a new one).

So . . . what do we do when we can’t be popular? Maybe you don’t want to chain yourself to a strict update schedule, or write the twelve-thousandth iteration of the most popular fandom tropes, or you exist in 2021 when everything is terrible and no one cares about a web cartoon series. What happens then?

4. Do it anyway.

I know, I know -- that sounds hella cheesy. “Write because you love it, not for attention” is one of those statements that everyone rolls their eyes at, because seriously? Please. What’s even the point of sharing something you write if no one reads it?

Well . . . because you made it. Because it’s something that wouldn’t exist without you, and because even though there are such a tiny number of readers in a very small, very dead fandom -- those people still exist. And seeing what you wrote will make them happy. And if they have the spoons, they’ll let you know that you made them happy, which will make you happy.

I haven’t updated my major fic in a year -- haven’t updated any writing in several months. But what keeps me going is the excitement that my ideas bring me, and the pride I feel in watching them come to life. It’s like giving a gift to someone; I get really nervous and giddy whenever I post a sentence.

And does it suck when it feels like your present goes unappreciated? Yeah. If you write the first chapter of your awesome long-form Gwenvid fic and it gets like 5 or 3 or even zero notes, that’s a huge bummer. That hurts a lot, and it can crush your self-esteem worse than even the most vicious hate. But your fic isn’t going to just be around for the few hours or days that you’re watching the engagement. It’s going to be there, growing as you update it or just sitting happily in its tags, and someone is going to find it.

Your story is going to be someone’s favorite fic. I promise.

And hell, let’s make it my favorite fic!

If you post something -- you know what, even if you post something in a trope or ship I hate, or a fandom I’m not in, doesn’t even have to just be Camp Camp; times are hard right now and we gotta support each other -- send me the link in a personal message. (Don’t tag me, I won’t see it. I never see anything on this terrible, terrible site.) I’ll like it; I’ll give it kudos. I’ll probably even share it*, because we’re going through the lean times in this fandom. And we’re writers, so the lean times are extra lean; it’s the bone-and-dust times.

*Okay, but I reserve the right to not support someone’s work that makes me very uncomfortable. I’ll share things I don’t personally stan, but I’m not gonna platform your “why Hitler was good, actually” essay disguised as a fanfic or anything. My 6 followers deserve better.

Write something that excites you, and then tell me about it. If you need help brainstorming, tell me about that too.

I might not have the spoons to keep this up for a prolonged period of time, but I’ll do what I can and you’ll do what you can and together we’ll . . . idk, do something. I’m losing the thread of my great inspirational speech here.

Uhhhh TL;DR let’s just do the dang thing. If we fail we all fail together. Yay team!

#campcamp #fanfiction #fanfic writing #yeah i'm putting these in the main tags #i wanna start a revolution here #a small revolution #of me and my 6 followers #let's do it #also yes i'm still working on my t&e fic #it's the first week of the semester so things have been insane #writing this post was the first time i've had 20 consecutive minutes to sit down and do anything since like january 4th #ask forest #absurdly long post #sorry not sorry #campcampfanfan #no 'keep reading' mark bc this all feels Important to me #scroll away my friendos

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akindofmagictoo · 4 years ago

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20 first lines tag game

this comes from @zmlorenz and also I think @amillionwips — thank you both!

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20 stories just list them all). see if there are any patterns. choose your favourite opening line. then tag others.

(I will tag @writingbyjillian @pamsdrabbles @sleepyowlwrites and anyone who wants to play!)

Hurricane

Tempest stilled her bouncing leg, eyeing her sleeping husband. Had she woken him? She took a careful breath and didn’t let it go until he snored and rolled over, pulling the covers tighter around himself. Still she waited. One breath. Two breaths. When he still didn’t move, she stood up and grabbed her coat and sword belt, not even bothering to put them on. Because she had to leave, and she had to leave today.

Theo x Aella Little Mermaid AU

Water closed over his head, tugged at his clothes. Tugged him down… down…

He wanted to cry out for help, but the water filled up his mouth before he could make a sound. Cold stole into his limbs, heavy and dark, weighing him down.

His chest ached, searching for air. Deep, cold darkness wrapped around him. Dragging, pressing, pulling down.

Down… down… down…

When he’d hit the water, he’d panicked. That was gone now. All he felt was the cold, the deep dark cold.

a random post-canon Theo x Aella oneshot

Thunder rumbled overhead, blending into the drumming of the rain on the roof. Aella tucked her blanket more tightly around herself, but it did no good. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t keep her mind off the locked front door, Alanna’s instruction to stay inside. It felt too much like other locked doors. Every time she closed her eyes, she was back there again and—

No. Sitting in this bed alone with her thoughts would do no good.

a post-canon Theo x Aella oneshot (sort of the former version of the one above)

“Read the mermaid one again.” Aella snuggled against Theo, pressed up between him and the arm of the big old armchair.

a Theo x Aella modern AU

Even with a map on his phone, Theo was impressed he’d made it to the small cafe on the main street. True, it was the main street, but his new house wasn’t, and directions weren’t his forte. Given how recently he’d moved, it was at least understandable.

The cafe was small, but its list of drink options was larger than he’d expected. But it included several types of tea, so he ordered a familiar English Breakfast and sat down at the nearest table.

post-canon oneshot of the Hurricane women play ‘theatre’

“So, who’s up next?” Aria stretched out in her hammock. “As much as I enjoyed being the defence lawyer, I think it’s someone else’s turn.”

“I’ll play the accused. I want to try my daring escape again,” Aella volunteered, sitting up.

Theo grinned. “Because you got caught last time?”

a crossover royalty AU with another project (Labyrinth)

(this isn’t the first line, but it’s the first lines where Theo appears. also, you would be correct if you assume that the Spanish princess is not Aella. that is the complication.)

“Spain confirmed the marriage alliance,” said Jared. “We still have to confirm it one last time, though.”

Theo glanced up at his dad. “Hardly surprising, really. They offered it, after all.”

Jared nodded. “Are you still alright with this? We can turn them down now, if you want.”

“My calendar is free,” said Theo, straight-faced. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve got my eye on someone else or whatever. Just as long as I’m not expected to actually have a romantic relationship with the Spanish princess.”

the below are all fanfictions. [ps my AO3 is @/ sidebysidewithafriend go check it out if any of these fics interest you]

Shadow and Cottontail (Harry Potter: Marauders (OC insert))

(this is co-written, I’m posting the first part that I wrote)

“Is there mail today?” Kai Lupin jumped the last step down to the dining room. This was the same question she’d been asking for five days, but she asked anyway.

Her mother Hope was about to answer when an owl swooped through the open window, a parchment envelope clutched in its beak.

“I think the answer is yes,” said Remus, descending the stairs behind her with a little more care than she’d taken. Kai rolled her eyes and crossed the room to see what the envelope contained.

Hope was already taking it from the owl. “It’s from Hogwarts,” Hope said, and Kai’s heart leapt, only to be dashed by her mother’s next words. “But there’s only one envelope. It’s addressed to you, Kai.”

Told You You’d Kill It (Harry Potter: Romione)

“Ugh.” Ron shoved his books to one side and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in all different directions. Hermione hid a smile as Ron drew his hands inside his jumper sleeves.

Through a yawn, he continued, “I’m done. I’m so tired.” Probably from his basketball training, but schoolwork was also a struggle for him, she knew. And they’d been studying in the library for several hours now. No wonder he was exhausted.

Thank You For Saving My Cat (Harry Potter: Jily)

Lily pushed herself up to a sitting position and breathed a small sigh of relief. At least she was out. She turned back to the house, watching the orange flames that danced over the structure with her heart in her throat. Was it her imagination, or were they growing smaller?

Most of her stuff could be replaced. But she hoped nonetheless that she wouldn’t have to.

Then she remembered the one thing she’d left behind and couldn’t replace. Crookshanks. She stumbled to her feet. Legs shaking under her, she ran to the nearest firefighter and grabbed their sleeve. The firefighter gear covered its occupant’s face, but the voice sounded male. “Are you alright?” He took her arm gently, steadying her.

3AM (Harry Potter: Wolfstar)

The beeping of the fire alarm filtered into Sirius’s sleeping brain, burrowing in until he couldn’t help but wake up. At which point he groaned and wrapped his pillow around his head, trying to block out the noise.

But this was a fire alarm, so really he had to get up. Grudgingly, he removed the pillow from his head and fumbled for his phone to check the time. The light from the screen was blinding in the darkness of his dorm room, but after a moment his eyes adjusted to see that it was 3:07 AM.

Give Him Back to Me (The Great Library: Wolfe x Santi)

Day 1

“Nic?” Wolfe half-rose from the bed at the sound of knocking, leaving his Codex open beside him. Something was off, though. Nic wouldn’t knock. He had a key. Besides, Nic was away in Belgium, training a new company. He wasn’t due back for another day or two, and that was assuming everything went to plan.

Nevertheless, when the knock came again he got to his feet and headed for the door.

Death Is Not Fair (Shadowhunters: (very angsty) Malec)

It wasn’t fair. Then again, life wasn’t fair.

And neither was death.

It shouldn’t have happened. It should have been a simple mission. The scans and all the reports had said there was just one demon in the area. It was a larger, stronger demon, and would’ve put up a good fight, but it was still practically nothing to a Shadowhunter like Alec.

Untitled (Shadowhunters: Sizzy) (unfinished and un-posted)

Izzy was swearing off dating. She’d kind of thought about it before, but hearing about the amount of drama in Jace’s love life right now cemented the idea firmly in her mind. No more dating. Between that and the mess Alec had gone through a couple of months ago, she wasn’t sure she wanted any part of that. Not to mention that of all the boys she’d dated, none of the relationships had really been right. Did she believe in The One? She wasn’t sure. But none of her boyfriends had been it, that was for sure. So no more dating for her. She was here to study forensic chemistry, after all, and surely it was better to concentrate on that.

Moving Day (Riordanverse: Blitzstone)

Last? signed Hearth.

Blitz brushed a speck of dust from the shoulder of his shirt, studying Hearth’s face. He knew exactly how many boxes were left to move, and it was more than zero, but the elf was looking paler than usual. If that was possible. As he watched, Hearth swayed a little and put a hand on the wall for support. “No. But I’ll get the rest. You need a break.”

Untitled quarantine AU (Riordanverse: Percabeth) (unfinished and un-posted)

“Thanks for letting me stay over to finish this project,” said Annabeth, setting the last piece on the model Coliseum she’d made. They’d done most of it last night, and she was just adding the finishing touches now. Although that had been before school had been shut down; they’d been notified the night before, but since she was here she’d been determined to finish it.

Untitled (The Hobbit) (I have a “better version of Tauriel’s arc” thing in the works, and this is an accompanying oneshot of how the Durins died in this version) (un-posted)

“Where is he? It looks empty. I think Azog has fled.” Fili glanced around nervously, his breath steaming in the icy air.

“I don’t think so,” said Thorin.

Footsteps sounded on the ice, echoing in all directions. It was impossible to know their source.

“We’ve got company,” Thorin growled.

Kili readied his sword.

This was practically everyday for them at this point. Every motion of his sword, every footstep, every bit of it was familiar. Fili hardly had to think. His sword flashed in the faint light. Droplets of blood and crystals of ice spattered his exposed skin, hot and cold. He was at home here; he might not have been on the ice before, but with a sword in his hand and Kili and Thorin at his back, he was content.

this is VERY long. if you read to here, thank you! and maybe consider reading some of them in full on my AO3?

#tag game #20 first lines tag #wip hurricane #wip labyrinth #zoe writes

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shnuggletea · 4 years ago

Photo

Okay, I promise the next chapter won't be so Kagome heavy... I think. I had to rewrite this one because it came out angsty instead of funny. Ooops!

I’ve stolen hubby’s laptop to do some work today. Which, in theory, is great except I have nothing saved on it! I have to go and download all my covers and banners and such and remember passwords to sites... ug. But at least I cane type yeah??

LINKS!!!

Fanfiction

AO3

Patreon

The Sins Collection

Shout out all week long to @clearwillow for the kick ass art and @lemonlushff, @neutronstarchild, and @ruddcatha for being the hostess with the mostess!

TAG WALL!!!

@underwater0phelia@lavendertwilight89 @mamabearcat @nartista @nopenname22 @echobows@superpixie42 @smmahamazing @redflamesofpassion @jme-chan@cstorm86 @cicleydark-light @ruddcatha @lavaffair @kirrtash @sistasecbhere@inusgirl @obsessandfangirl @britonell @lordofthechips @mcornilliac@faolenwolf @classyhumanathletepalace @keichanz @phoenix-before-the-flame @artisticloveexpressitsall @lamuertadehambre @noyourenotreal @mitty-san @thenoammonster @little-deeluna @royaltrashpanda @sailorbabydoll92@storyweaver2017 @malditamigs @adorabubblesblog @lilms-obsessed@petri808 @anniehcresta @fan-dumpp @itzatakahashi @utakuprincess@theschultinator @all-too-ale @little-inukag-obsessed @theseagullqueen@queenofthesquirps @inusgirl @jolinaaa00 @knowall7k @neutronstarchild@fawn-eyed-girl @eringobroke @sapphirestarxx @clearwillow @dangerouspompadour @anxietyaardvark @bluejay785 @arcprz @whoisresponsible

Greed

"Greed is your god, Kaz."

He almost laughed at that. "No, Inej. Greed bows to me. It is my servant and my lever."

― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

There was little doubt in my mind that both Sango and Kagome would be pissed about this but I was doing what I thought was fair. It wasn't right that these guys were expected to spend their entire lives connected to one woman without some additional experience first.

I was surprised at how into it they were though. Especially Miroku. The look on his face, I half expected him to strip himself. Inuyasha took a little bit to warm up to it all. And a few drinks. But now he was loose and enjoying himself. As was I, watching them and the show they were making.

All that was interrupted by the vibration of my phone. I had been ignoring it but it wasn't stopping and I was sure I knew what it was about. I sighed loudly as I spied Kagome's name on the screen.

"Where are the boys?!" Kagome yelled as soon as I answered.

"And a hello to you too…"

"Hellos are for people who answer the fucking phone. We've been calling you for over an hour now!" Sango screamed.

They had it on speakerphone. This was already getting annoying. "The boys are with me and they're fine."

Break time was over music blasting and making the girls hard to hear. But Sango had a very loud voice. "Where the fuck are you?!"

I hung up because there was no point. They would never hear me over the noise and I didn't want to hear their bitching. So I shared my location. They would find us eventually. As it were, it was too late to change or stop anything. Inuyasha and Miroku were no longer completely innocent.

It was just greedy of them to expect Miroku and Inuyasha to be all theirs. They would understand in time. And see that this was not only a good idea but good for the boys and would be healthy for their relationships.

Inuyasha had been planted in a chair since he arrived, but now he was on his feet, really getting into it. His sexy smile was back and I selfishly soaked it up. Because this time, I caused it not Kagome.

The time I thought for sure we still had was cut in half, the girls getting there far faster than I expected. If I'd known they'd be that quick, I would have enjoyed the time we had more. Maybe focused more on Inuyasha intently and taught him a few things.

But the party was over, Sango and Kagome glowering at the three of us.

Sure, I knew the girls wouldn't like it but it was covetousness to expect these men to only have one woman as an example of all their desires. I knew Sango had body issues, so I understood her anger. But Kagome had no reason to glare at me. It wasn't like anyone was cheating.

So once they were close, I defended myself in the manner I felt was fitting, yelling at the two of them over the blasting music. "Chill out, it's just a strip club!"

They continued to glare and went off towards their Mates. I felt no guilt but I did feel something, noting that Naraku wasn't with them. He wasn't behind either, near the door or exit or anything. The two of them ran off to find him when he didn't give a damn about any of us. Did they give up? Or did they never go look for him in the first place? Kagome wouldn't do that but Sango would and she made it clear she didn't care about Naraku already.

My nerves were all over the place and my heart felt gross. I was jealous of Sango and Kagome, their men both around and trying so hard to please them that they came here with me just to learn. While my soulmate was where exactly? He was gone, missing, as far from me as he possibly could.

I didn't want him around, I really didn't. I don't even know why I participated in the stupid spell. I didn't need or want a soulmate. But I wanted to support Kagome and Sango. Now I wasn't sure why I wanted to do even that much because they were far more focused on themselves than on me.

Did they not see how upset I was? How torn up? Naraku was gone and they were more focused on getting their men away from some trained professionals than what I was going through. Some friends they were. I was feeling even less guilty about bringing Inuyasha and Miroku here. And about feelings I had growing for Inuyasha.

oOo

Miroku sat, a girl with only a thong on grinding on his lap while Inuyasha stood at the stage, a girl in a tiny bra set flirting heavily with him and I was in shock. I glanced over at Kagome who was silent and still as well. She looked just as I did, mouth hanging open and eyes wide.

Turning back to the trash fire before us, I found Kikyo. She was sitting with a drink watching the two of them enjoy themselves like a pimp or something. I didn't know if she brought them here because she wanted it or they did but already I was full of disappointment.

Miroku was having a blast with another woman on his lap.

Snapping out of it, I mostly followed Kagome's lead as she made for Kikyo first. She hopped to her feet in full fight mode. "Chill out, it's just a strip club."

Just a strip club. Of course, she would see it that way. Kagome split from us for Inuyasha and I went for Miroku.

The girl was giving it her all. Wonder if Kikyo paid her or if Miroku's looks got her to be so enthusiastic? He was a very good looking man especially when he smiled. Which he was, broadly, at the girl servicing him.

His smile brightened his eyes, that's why he looked so much prettier when he did. Bright eyes that flicked to me and my approach but didn't dim or change in the slightest at being caught. "Sango!" It was then I noticed he held his hands up high in the air as if being frisked. "I get it now. Why didn't you tell me of your profession?"

I was tired and pissed so that threw me more than I think it normally would have. But maybe not. "Huh?!"

We were both yelling over the oppressive base as it pounded a rhythm for the girls to gyrate to. Miroku kept his hands high but gestured to the girl on top of him. "Your profession?"

Miroku looked genuinely happy with himself like he had figured out a piece of a difficult puzzle. As cute as he was about it, the pretty girl sitting on his dick had me feeling only outrage. I grabbed his ear and pulled him up to his feet to scream into it with ease. "I'm not a fucking stripper!"

The girl scattered with that. She didn't have a lap to sit on anymore. The guilt I felt for the girl was real. It wasn't her fault, she was just doing her job. Even if that included getting to grind on a good looking guy like Miroku.

With his hands still up in the air, he clearly didn't believe me. So I pressed my body against his and got up on my toes to speak in his face. "I don't want you touching me because I don't know you. Not because it's part of my job, you asshat!" I dropped back to my heels and he dropped his hands. "We're going home."

Confusion marred his beautiful face, "but I've yet to see the entire show…"

My glare shut him up, slapping his mouth tight and moving with me towards the door. Home. I wanted to go home, shower the sweat and now the stink of desperation that filled the club, and go to bed. Hopefully, when I woke, all of this will have been a bad dream and my soulmate wasn't a man of excess.

My eyes drifted to the stage where I had last seen Kagome and not a single molecule of my body would move. Not even my eyes as the train ran right off the track before me. "Oh my god."

oOo

Okay so it had been a while since I'd worked out like this, huffing like a smoker as Sango and I turned the corner Naraku had last disappeared around. It pushed us into a thick crowd that we couldn't run through. Not easily.

Naraku's dark brown waves stood out in the crowd, especially with him taller than most those around. Sango pushed through the people while I tried to remain calm and polite. But that was waning the further Naraku got ahead while strolling along.

"Naraku!" I caught the flinch he did. It was hard and impossible to miss so I tried again. "Naraku stop!"

And he did. Right there in the middle of it all, people had to part like steam around a rock. Because he was unmoving. Sango and I stood before him, eventually, and he still just stood there, waiting. Once we were still, he opened his frown. "I want to be free."

Glancing at Sango, I saw she shared a feeling of guilt as well. "You can't just… run off. You don't know how to be human yet."

"And you do?" He countered.

"More than you do!" Sango squeaked.

He laughed, dark and evil like a villain. "If being human means being weak, then I'd rather continue to be me…"

"But you're a human. Whatever you were before, that's over. You're no longer top… bird."

The smirk he had fell at my words and a knot formed in my belly. "I didn't ask for this. And I certainly didn't ask for that mate."

"I'm sorry but we didn't choose or force any of you…"

"Didn't you?" Naraku shouted towards my face. "You used a power you didn't even understand to bring us here. Bring me here. Never once did you ask any of us if we wanted to come. Even now you're trying to force me to return to that Kikyo. If I align myself with such a loose woman, I will die."

I had to push past the lump in my throat and it hurt. "If you just talk to her, show her how you feel…"

"Impatient? Here you are, rushing me to return to that viper all because you fear leaving your own mates alone with her." Naraku moved for the first time since I 'stopped' him, stepping up close to tower over me. "If I were your mate, you would never have a worry."

I took my eyes off the shadow over me to look at Sango. Her eyes were wide with shock and fear. I didn't know if we could stop Naraku from doing whatever he wanted even if that was to squawk us to death. Sango had her doubts too, that we could control him. My only option was, be honest and hope for the best.

"I don't want you, Naraku. I want Inuyasha."

With that, he stepped back and smirked. "Then I'll be on my way then."

In shock, it took both me and Sango a second to regain ourselves. Which was more than a head start for Naraku. I wanted to let him go, I really did. But after today's display, I was concerned for him and others if he was left all alone.

"Naraku!" He ignored me this time, continuing on his way. Anger swelled in me because he saw us as selfish and greedy. Maybe we were demanding mates to appear before us. But right now I was just worried. "Naraku freeze!"

And he did.

Literally.

One foot hung in the air and his arms were held up at his sides in mid-stride. Sango was thoroughly freaked out now, as was I. But then she laughed. "Cute Naraku. Real cute. Now cut it out."

She giggled some more while Naraku didn't move, not even to look at us. "Yeah, Naraku, stand right."

My heart jumped back when he listened again, doing exactly as I asked. Sango didn't seem to notice, snorting as she tried to calm herself. I faked a laugh while Naraku studied me. He knew what was going on too.

I could control him.

With just my words, Naraku was doing exactly as I asked. Even earlier when I was clueless, he had calmed just because I asked him to. I thought he was just placating me but now it seemed he had no choice in the matter. If Naraku was like this… then Inuyasha and Miroku were the same.

So how much of what Inuyasha said or did to me was because I told him to?

The only thing I could remember telling him to do was to speak. Other than that, he had acted on his own… hadn't he?

Now, on top of the guilt, I already had, I felt like I was now swimming in it. But that didn't change the problem at hand and now I had the means to fix it.

Stepping up to him this time, I looked Naraku dead in the eyes. "You will explore, enjoy this world, and learn as much as you can. But once it's dark, you will go home to Kikyo. Understand?"

He nodded slowly and walked away in a trance. I was going to throw up.

Sango patted me on my shoulder sweetly. "Good job. You handled that well, considering."

"Considering?"

"The fact that he's a big, bird monster in a human suit? That wants you? We should tell Kikyo what he said."

I shook my head, feeling dizzy with disgust. "No, we shouldn't."

"Come on! It'll knock her down a few pegs! Her own soulmate finds her repulsive?"

I flashed her a glare and she got it. That was far too cruel to ever say to anyone. Even Kikyo. "Let's just get home. Who knows what Kikyo is doing to them."

Sango shivered and sped away. I didn't like that either. I knew Sango never really liked or trusted Kikyo but with no one to worry about around her, I never gave it much thought. But now we both had men who were new to this world and its expectations. Did they even know what a soulmate was? Or how to treat a woman in this century? Men weren't known for being faithful, it was something the history books showed as well. It was as if it was in their DNA. Not that women were perfect angels and always monogamous. Case in point, Kikyo.

I had always been faithful. I had always been the best girlfriend I could be. And it had never mattered. So I was biased but also yet to be proven wrong and now my supposed soulmate was hanging out with the Queen of loopholes and sin.

When they weren't at our home, I got nervous. But when Kikyo sent her location and we got there, I was just disappointed. In Kikyo and especially in Inuyasha who stood at the end of the stage, grinning like a fool at the stripper before him.

He had a drink in his hand and I had no clue how many that was for him. With the small sway of his hips, I had to assume it wasn't his first.

Inuyasha hadn't noticed me yet, too busy watching the girl take her clothes off before him. Great. Another man that couldn't see me through all the other more attractive and sexy women around him.

Before I could get to him, he took a step closer to the stage and my heart pressed against my throat. Just how much was I going to have to see my soulmate do with another woman? I was set into a confused stupor when he gently pushed the woman to the side and off the stage. A stupor that was turned to confoundment when he took hold of the pole.

My mind was spinning. Just how many drinks did Inuyasha have? The man I met was affectionate, sure. But nothing about him struck me as the type to do a striptease on stage. I quickly passed my gaze around the place. The men that whooped were either too drunk to notice Inuyasha was a man or didn't care. Sango was dumbstruck, her mouth frozen open but with the corners of her mouth upturned. Miroku was clapping in earnest, truly cheering his friend on.

When I turned back, Inuyasha was upside down on the pole, spinning around with his legs split like a pro. What. The fuck?

The hat he had on hit the floor and so did Inuyasha, so hard the place shook as he scrambled to get his hat back on in place. I raced to him then, grabbing his arm tight and pulling him the rest of the way off the stage.

"Are you alright?!"

He tilted his head to the side, his backward baseball cap on top nearly falling off from the movement. I reached up quickly to grab it off but he stopped me, grabbing my wrist hard and painfully. "Leave it."

"Why?!"

He shook his head at me, "I'd hate to be an embarrassment."

Said the man who just made the other strippers jealous of his skills? "What the hell does that mean?"

Letting go, he barely threw my hand away gently. "Means I ain't a puppy and people will be uncomfortable. Especially Master."

Never once had I been uncomfortable with him or his ears. Didn't he notice that when my tongue was in his mouth a few hours ago, licking his fangs?! How much of that had been him anyway?!

He jumped back on the stage, spreading his arms wide and tilting on his drunk feet. He was wasted, I could smell it on his breath when he spoke and see it in his once careful movements. It was why he almost ripped my arm off, keeping it from his stupid hat. Inuyasha started rolling his body, a wave or ripple with his torso. Then he lifted up his shirt just enough for all of us to see his muscles move.

Sweet sassafras.

The men had sobered or figured out, Inuyasha wasn't a buff woman and began to fuss. At his side, I yelled as loud as I could. "Get down now!"

And shit if he didn't obey, doing it at a speed far faster than human. I was shaking, feeling a mixture of sick from Inuyasha's and Naraku's obedience and a fever from Inuyasha's rocking body.

And I meant that literally and figuratively as the roll of his abs was currently playing on repeat in my brain.

Home. We needed to get home and all in one piece. There was too much going on and too much that had happened today. I needed time to think and figure out just what the hell I had done.

And what the hell I could do to fix it.

#inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha sins #sinfully human #greed

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randomfandomimagine · 4 years ago

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End Of The Year Faves

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

I was tagged by @myriadimagines and @musicallisto, thank you, lovelies!

10. Zack Fair (FFVII) gif imagine

I really love this one because it’s like the definition of short and sweet. It’s adorable, warm and I think I got Zack’s characterization pretty well and I often reread it when I need a smile. I just love my boy Zack and how this little thing turned out.

9. Connor (DBH) prompt (”I shouldn’t be in love with you”)

The reason I love this one it’s because I wrote it as one of my favorite things to write: a character study. I tried to express Connor’s struggle as he develops feelings for the reader and how conflicted he would be to have fallen in love with someone, having developed such a human thing as feelings. One of the many reasons why I love Connor is because of his arc in the game, because of how guilty he feels for becoming deviant despite being the very android that hunts them, it just gets to me. I’m just really glad that I could explore that in this prompt and that I managed to show it properly as well as make this more angsty, since my specialty is usually fluff.

8. Yennefer (Witcher) prompt (”I shouldn’t be in love with you” “Are you jealous?” “I’m so scared”)

This is the only Yennefer request I’ve ever gotten (besides one for a dating would include that I had already written), and I had so much fun writing it! Yennefer has appeared in my Witcher writings a lot, but never as a main character and never as a love interest, so that’s why this was so cool! I think she’s a very interesting character, so I really enjoyed getting the chance to explore her personality. I love how it turned out because I think it’s the perfect balance between her being sly and also being loving and showing her feelings for the reader.

7. Too Nice (John Ambrose McClaren, TATBILB ficlet)

John Ambrose is another character I really like writing for. What can I say? I fell in love with him and it was great to write something for him. This is somewhere between love and almost hate, with a lot of misunderstandings and complex feelings that ultimately lead to a happy fluffy ending. He’s just the sweetest and it was curious to write his reactions to someone who doesn’t always respond well to his kindness, even if because it flusters them.

6. Special (Howl Pendragon, HMC ficlet)

And yet another character I love. It was a bit hard settling on just one version of the character, because I love both the movie and book versions, so I tried to make it a little bit of both... even if this Howl is more suave and charming like in the movie rather than the absolute endearing disaster that book Howl is. Still, I always have fun getting other characters involved with the reader and their love interest, so I loved adding Calcifer and Marko to the mix. As well as the cute interactions Howl and reader have, I love the ending in which he hints at the fact that the reader unlocked something in his heart that he didn’t think was possible.

5. Kind (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad ficlet)

I don’t often get to write about Jesse, so this was awesome! Peekaboo was one of my favorite episodes and it was amazing to get to explore it. While it’s not perfect, I really like how the connection between Jesse and reader turned out, how kind (:D) he is and patient and respectful, and I think I also poured a lot of emotion to the reader with that background.

4. Separated (Zuko, ATLA ficlet)

By this point, it’s obvious that I’m more proud of ficlets (because they’re longer and take more planning and more time and effort) and about characters I love because I think the passion I have for them is more obvious. I wrote this one right when I was watching ATLA because I loved (and still love) Zuko so much. It’s sort of a character study as well (it’s established that I adore writing them) and I’m so glad that I had the idea of getting Iroh involved because he’s awesome. This ficlet just has a lot of pining and repressed emotions that come out in the end and I love it.

3. Weight On His Shoulders (PS4 Peter Parker ficlet)

This one if pretty recent, as I wrote it after beating the game myself. This game is just awesome, and this is my favorite representation of Peter ever. He’s cute, charming, nerdy, loving, kind, a bit awkward and just everything that Peter and Spidey should be (at least for me). I wanted to represent both his personas in this one, and I like the balance I achieved with it as well as the emotions, the pining, the secret identity and in the end the understanding of the reader. The part with Spidey saving reader is great and I’m very happy with how reader is prepared to confront him about it once they learn he’s Spiderman only to change their mind when they see how much it’s weighing on him so they decide to relax with him for a bit.

2. Reunion (Cloud Strife, FFVII ficlet)

I’ve written a lot of things for this fandom this year because I was super inspired after beating the remake with my brother, I loved it (honorable mentions to Heal My Heart and Stars In Your Eyes, two other ficlets that I wrote and I’m very proud of). Cloud has always been one of my favorite characters, and in this one I got to examine a side of him I usually don’t. Not only does this ficlet include Zack Fair (another one of my favorite characters) but it also goes along with an idea I had been thinking about for a long time of a female reader pretending to be a boy to get into SOLDIER and becoming friends with them, but it also shows Cloud as the meeker and shy boy he is in Crisis Core. It was so cool to write about him back then and after once he had joined AVALANCHE. His relationship with the reader was also bittersweet because of their past and it’s just so complex and emotional that I love it, especially their reunion at the end.

1. Soul of a Warrior (Jaskier x Nissa, The Witcher Fanfiction Series). This was a big project, as series always are. I spent several months planning and plotting the story and even more months writing it, and also revising it once it was finished before posting it. I put so much effort, love and time into this series that it absolutely had to be number one. Soul of a Warrior is probably the thing I’m most proud of (that I have written) in 2020.

As most of you know (my mutuals definitely do, as they have gifted me amazing things with him), Jaskier is probably the character I fangirled the hardest about this year. I wrote many things for him (the ficlet What Would You Do Without Me? deserves another honorable mention because it’s probably my favorite thing I’ve written this year along with the series) and working on each of them has brought me so much serotonin. Jaskier is just such an amazing character, loving and compassionate but cheeky and selfish while at the same time being charming, optimistic, bubbly, extroverted and a huge flirt. So many layers!

But back to the series... Soul of a Warrior had one of the best faceclaims I’ve found, the sweetest friendship between my OC Nissa and Geralt and the slowest of burns romances with Jaskier. Him and Nissa are very similar in some aspects, so much so that they’re both too blind to realize the other’s feelings (idiots to lovers, am I right?) but they care so much about one another. The three of them were strangers, but they become family (found family, another one for the fandom bingo!) and I’m the proudest of how real and organic their relationship feels. Not to mention that their dynamic was super fun to write because Geralt is the only one that knows they’re in love and is so fed up and exasperated with their obliviousness. As well as this, I think I managed to mix action, emotion and depth really well. My secondary OCs feel more alive than others before them, Nissa was pretty complex and coherent and had a true voice of her own, and their part on the story feels important. There are tense moments, cute ones, sad ones, tragic ones... a little bit of everything. I think this one as a lot more angst and whump because I was in a bit of a dark place when I wrote it, but it still has hope and light in it, which I really love. The series also has a lot more violence than what I’m used to, but it was interesting to get out of my comfort zone a bit.

Overall, not only do I think it’s fun to read, compelling, funny and emotional all at once, I’m just very proud that I managed to write something a little different from what I usually do and feel like I did it well. I put a big part of me in this series and for that reason Soul of a Warrior will always have a special place in my heart 💜

That it’s, sorry if I ranted a bit! I tag anyone who wants to do this!!

#tag game #faves #myriadimagines #musicallisto

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