#try again later im tired
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feel free to call me arrogant anytime but also any other arrogant bitches finding the logical conclusions and reasonable rules youve reached for yourself are sometimes hard to follow due to. emotions and discontent or is it just me
#mypost#YES i think its stupid to stay in unequal relationships. YES im finding myself increasingly more alone#on the account of. not just that one reasonable rule of course i have to imagine its my Personality in many ways too#I DONT KNOW. i honestly dont know. i wanna be like an alpha male podcast or a know it all twitter account and say#''people cant stand a self respecting bitch theyll do anything to tear them down. keep your head up king your crown slipping''#but thats so fucking stupid lmao. making the world your enemy about your pain. so childish. so heavy on copium.#but then what is it. when you put the criteria ''i want to put in time and effort for a friendship and i expect it returned''#what? does the whole world get eliminated in one swoop? is it that bad out there?#like does it make your chances drop so critically youre basically bound for a life of loneliness?#am i so above and beyond my peers or is that a comforting lie for lonely people.#am i sane and sound? or am i traumatized and scarred beyond return?#is that it? rationalizing trust issues? even when im aware of them? actively looking for and trying TO trust am i still in its clutch?#and how many rounds can i keep this up before i run out and close myself back up. i need divine intervention#hold up am i ruminating on my personal responsibility on a systematic issue. wait. thats stupid as fuck#try again later im tired
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something about being out in the open mountain air... wind blowing in your face... its not something you get in the city- not this kind of clean air anyway. (not that ingo remembers) (it still feels nice.) ((for day 7 of Sept-Ingo: Freedom))
#submas#ray's art#animation#Sept-Ingo#Month of Ingo#for something this messy it took an unreasonable amount of effort hipgfhrepoigh#but thats just how animation is#i actually struggled with this prompt a lot#i was thinking maybe getting out of work?#out of the medical tent? sneasler's basket?#out of a choke hold from emmet-#but ah. nothing quite beats hiking. especially where your just looking out over the mountain tops...#the leaves in the breeze and the sky at your fingertips...#i just remembered that and needed to animate his coat blowing in the wind lol#of course... im really tired and doing a lot of art in general so... its not. exactly high quality or anything.#maybe ill try again later. maybe not.#Subway Boss Ingo
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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white lie
(rest of the comic under the cut)
#cherry magic#my art#comic#it is done . took a month somehow but it is Done.......#do u ever think abt drawing a simple basic hug and then ur brain goes 'ok but what if a whole Thing happens before then'? no????#also i wanted to color this to try out some Techniques(tm) but the only thing ive learned is to never make colored comics again . My Hand..#i have thoughts abt the whole thing i wanted to write but im so tired god . maybe ill write them out later#no more art for a week at least . ive done too much okay bye
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scar's red life shawl is his last life robes after one (1) mental breakdown and a pair of shears. to me.
#look man the two seasons just seem really closely linked and im a sucker for a wardrobe change caused by a shift in mindset#tell me that him ripping up his old robes and fundamentally changing them in a time of emotional distraught isn't tempting#tell me that him deciding to repair it later#turn it back into something usable#turning the shredded ends into the flairs of a shawl#tying on poppies to try and bring some color back to it#maybe he was thinking of grian. so what.#and then one day hes alone. hes tired. hes so alone it hurts.#and then he dies#and he decides that now. now is the time to wear the shawl.#a reminder of people who cared about him#grians poppies and his robes to match joel and the button up underneath to feel his family again#tell me that isnt tantalizing.#idk maybe thats just me#secret life#secret life smp#slsmp#goodtimeswithscar#daisy.txt
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#gnnn ^_^#reblog locked bc its wip#a doodley#i need to get better at that rib flare#also i dont think his face is super accurate here but im jst messin around and also i hate i felt i had to clarify that ykwim#like who caresss if he's Off im still learning to draw (him) and one drawing doesnt define me or him etc but idk. idk! idk#ill get better...#thje funny thing about this doodle is im freaking out bc my wrist hurts a bit and i was struggling to draw ppl again#after a few days of Blobbish Furs#so forced self to churn this out before sleeps like oh ok maybe it is just the pain thats affecting me (wrist now hurts a bit more)#ever since that one those feratu doodle ive been trying to give him more like. sinking sagging jowls (?)#as contrast to the bone landmark of his chin#i also have to give him more neck fat/loose skin there ykwim#but also have to learn to draw necks. lol.#ok ill fix dis later im so tired
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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After another 2 hours of note taking for my next year finals i have changed my mind about ancient Rome its actually pretty fun to read about their issues and how some people tried to resolve them only to get brutally murdered with 300 other people durning a public meeting. Sorry for being stupid and a killjoy before
#mostly a joke im just trying to get through it considering antiquity is not a big part of the exam#and is overall pretty simple and basic#and i have to speed through it because im already behind and should be starting medieval times... yesterday#delete later when i get tired of rome again#now its late night art time#simple and basic as in on the exam not. in general. good lord
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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…
#tw vomit#vomited at 3pm today after a nap with lil man#and then my upper stomach and back started hurting#again again#fyi i have not had it checked yet because I am dumb#but will try and remember to call my doctor tomorrow 🤞🏻🙃#anywho#fast forward to 9pm#and i vomit again#so crazy i needed a shower#i got a really hot one 🙌🏼#so im all better now thankfully 🙏🏻#but wow#oh#also both time i had literally just taken painkillers 🙃#only once out of the 3 times did it stay down#ajdhjdjks#i have had it with this day#also#thought it was waaay later lol#lil man was tired and ready for bed at 5.30pm so we have been in bed a while#not bad when you feel shit#soo#goodnight#bells be speaking to herself
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If you know someone who is in the job search market, give them a hug.
It’s so hard right now.
You can have the experience, education, proper resume and still either get ghosted, rejected, or led on.
It’s all a game right now.
#I had an interview today where I was told I’d have to go through 4 additional stages of interviews#my next interview is going to be an hour and 45 minutes where I have to basically work for free#you don’t hear back from 99.9% of jobs and when you do you get fucked around and then told no weeks later#I’m so tired of playing this game#I’ve been going through this shit for 6 months. I don’t know how much longer I can take this shit.#starting in Sept im moving to part time work due to my contract ending and when im not worried about that im having to do my job and then#apply for other jobs so that I can find a full time job again#while also trying to learn new skills to be in this competitive job market#and then put all the other shit of life on it#dbsjsjdbdbdjeiwowkabfbfjfjrjr
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so so sleepy but cat is ON my legs so i can’t move into comfortable sleeping position so can’t fall asleep but can’t stay awake but SOO ready for sleepy tired sleep but CANT because CAT
#i am#struggling#she is so sleepy and comfy that she face planted again😪#i went to bed late and she was SO mad and rushed me to my room#and as soon as i layed down girl was ON me but now i cant sleep because NOT comfortable#but i am so tired😴😴#barely staying awake but definitely NOT falling asleep smh#also i think i missed a few notifications so i’ll try to get to those tomorrow!#i’d do it now but i am TOO TIRED😴😴😴#im great at phone and notifications and messages#insert second part to that joke here pls im too tired to remember what i was gonna say#😴#just know i HAD something else to say about it and it was probably SO funny#so funniest joke ever in the world😤😤#😴😴#to summarize: now = SLEEPY#later = lookin at my inbox#now = slowly extricate myself from beneath this cat#later = idk what else be busy tomorrow apparently yuck🤢🤢#*smooches you goodnight smooches you goodnight SMOOCHES YOU GOODNIGHT*#go to SLEEP#RIGHT NOW#EVERYONE#DONT CARE WHAT TIME IT IS FOR YOU ITS SLEEP TIME NOW😤😤😤#😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴
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Do you think the corporations will realise that we will care about their straight ships if they're not a girl fawning over the first guy she sees and getting married within the year and it being treated like a good thing or is this thought process too advanced for them to handle right now.
#for legal reasons this is a joke. and also being posted at 2am my time.#just. im thinking about petrigrof and why i like it. and its because its tragic and doomed and makes me feel things.#and thats why i enjoy jmart and privateeyes and literally any queer ships.#its not that i dont like straight people its that I am being spoonfed the same relationships with the same sexist undertones#over and over again#idk im just tired man#Oh this is also why I like heathers btw. That movie slaps. I do not ship JD and Veronica or anyone in that movie making myself clear#anyways#garlic breath#petrigrof#relationships#rambling#idk what to tag this and im not trying#I will take media suggestions tho. Like. For literally anything I am bored and tired and want some happiness#might delete later. idk.
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my mum supports me in getting accessibility aids when i break down about it but the moment i'm not upset or in tears then it's what if people don't want to talk to you because you're in a wheelchair and what if they think you're fragile and i want you to make friends but this might not help and-
#IM SO TIRED#you know why i'm not making friends. you know why i'm struggling so much#because i cannot go anywhere. i can't go to meetings i can't go to events i can't go to anything because i'm tired and in pain#i'm hoping to go to a talk tomorrow but honestly i don't know if i'll be able to. but it's on disability so i wanna try#i'm getting my covid booster tomorrow and i'm going to ask the nurse about it#'but what if-' i am struggling to go to class i am struggling to go to work i had to stand up the other day and almost burst into tears#i still have to get to work later and i'm thinking it'll rise but my heart rate today has been 49-164. and that's lower than average but#my pots is just getting worse. the pain is getting bad again. my brainfog is extreme#i'm done trying to get better i'm done being told i don't have to use mobility aids because people will fix me. i just want to make friends
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#Sorry but since I am on year 6 of running this blog I have little patience for people being weird at me here now#and im too tired for it and going to block you if i feel like you continuously make my blogging experience uncomfortable#I like reblogging the art and memes and seeing what's going on but not fielding the weird stuff so I'm turning asks off and also#I don't want to answer ask-like questions in private messages either but I can't turn them off completely#or else I would turn them off too... so not trying to be mean but please don't send me any more#if I didn't answer you there the last time. I'm saying this bc I like interacting w most of yall but at this moment I want it to be#not as an ask blog... but just chilling next to you as some guy looking at memes if that makes sense#I might turn asks on again sometime later on if I actually have new stuff to talk about#like when duff note finally comes out#This is not directed at most people here but just a couple btw thx!#p
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opened my inbox to try and answer the asks sitting in there. my brain went old internet dial up tone->buzzzz static-> failed connection. i closed my inbox.
#im sorry im just. so tired#personal t#i might try again later but i could curl up and sleep for a week my brain does NOT want to work anymore
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