#tell me that isnt tantalizing.

[daisy-bugs]

scar's red life shawl is his last life robes after one (1) mental breakdown and a pair of shears. to me.

[pynkfairyheart]

pairings: bigboy!ony x reader

warnings: smut18+, twt link, shitty writing

a/n: i haven't been on here in so long, let alone written anything. work, life, and school has consumed my entire being, so i apologize that this shit isnt anywhere near what my usual writing is. but i do miss writing, and i do miss being a freak so here you go

Bigboy!Ony is such a motherfuckin talker when he's in that shit.

he'll have you bent over on the bed feedin you slow deep strokes as he admired the way you responded to him in the mirror. “you still with me, ma?” he'll smirk down at you. there was no use hiding how good you felt as you mumbled out barely coherent reassurances, pulling your hips up just slightly to alleviate the intense amount of pleasure. “yeah?” his hands gripped your hips tighter, pulling you back “don't run from me, baby.” he'd shake his head slowly “you love me, right? youn run from things you love ma”

you were sure you could cum just off his voice alone. that smooth, tantalizing rich tone making your toes curl the moment it reached your eardrums. ugh lets not even get started on when he falls in love all over again. he'll just be mumbling to himself as he pushed some hair out of your face “fuck my baby so pretty” he'll groan and as if the compliments weren't making your knees weak he'd make you repeat it. “say it back ma, tell me you're pretty” oh, just how his words make the moment so much more intimate.

just when you think he's done he'll pull out and immediately start munchin. your hand instantly reaching behind you to push him back but that doesn't stop him. instead, youll hear him mumble protest into your pussy before he lifts his head up “just lemme eat ma. all you gotta do is breathe nd imma handle the rest” he'll reach for your hand like the loving boyfriend he is and continue to munch.

[weixuldo]

Who's your Daddy?

Older!James Kelly x f!reader

(SORRY FOR BEING GONE SO LONG OMLLLL- i’ve never written anything other than starwars lol- but I hope this is enjoyable. I also havent ever written fauxscest and I wouldn't say i'm really into it, but I feel like it fits the character lowkey)

One of James' customer mistakes you for his daughter and you actually play along...James isnt thrilled

warnings: dead dove do not eat?, Fauxscest, age gap, orgasm denial, just regular schmegular smex, name calling,

________________

 “Fuck Jamie!” you squealed as DILF!James Kelly harshly bent you over the old camaro that had been sitting in his shop for the past two weeks. 

His strong tattooed hand had your nicely curled hair in a strong grip as he smacked your ass with the other. “You wanna act like a child so bad, then I’ll treat you like one” he said as he continued to spank you. 

Earlier, James had been finishing up a job on an old Ford pickup and was negotiating payment with the owner when you skipped out from inside the shop wearing shorts and a tank top.

In James’ “office”- really just a room with a chair and desk that he’d toss papers on (or eat you out on)- he had a bowl of candy just in case a client brought around their kids. James never really knew what to do with kids, but you told him having a candy jar would make him seem less scary.

Of course he had one the next day.

But clients never really brought their kids around the shop so you got to enjoy the majority of the candy. Today you were feeling the cherry lollipop and twirled it around your mouth as you scampered out to see what James was up to. 

As you walked out you saw James broad back facing you as he stood with his arms crossed towards a gruff man with gray hair. They looked like they were talking shop- how boring.

You sighed and were about to go back inside when the gray haired man noticed you. 

“Kelly, you never mentioned ya had kids?”. 

James was taken aback- kids? 

He turned to see what the man was looking at when his icy eyes landed on your tantalizing form; it was nearly 97 degrees and humid as fuck- why the hell did you look so good?

He subconsciously licked his bottom lip before remembering the man’s comment; he turned back just about to protest when you skipped up to him and threw your arms around him. 

“He’s never mentioned me?” you said with a fake pout. 

“But dad- I thought you were proud of me? Why don’t you tell your friends about me?” 

James was too stunned to speak- sure, you’d occasionally call him “daddy” in bed but he never thought that act would leave the bedroom. His left eye twitched as he looked down at your doe eyed expression. 

“Haha- I’m sure yer Dad’s proud of ya kiddo- probably just wanted to hide you away cause you’d have all the boys riled up” the gray haired man chuckled as James fought to keep his frustration at bay. 

“Is that why daddy?” you asked innocently. 

James was pissed

…

and extremely turned on.

But he was really bothered that his client was obviously checking you out right in front of him. He clenched his jaw once more before straining out an answer. 

“Yea thats why, sweetheart. I’d hate to have to get the shotgun out of the shed for something other than hunting” he falsely smiled. 

You hugged him once more before heading back inside “Well I’ll let you two keep talking- Thanks for choosing my dad’s shop” you smiled at the man before your boyfriend. 

He shot back a bright grin “Not a problem darlin’, I’ll be sure to come to yer Dad’s shop from now on haha”. 

James clenched his fists at his sides, he could feel himself losing his composure.

The man finally paid James and added a little extra and told him to “buy somethin’ nice for that daughter of yer’s”. 

Oh- James would definitely not be buying you something nice after the little stunt you just pulled. 

“She's a looker Kelly, better keep an eye on her'' the man commented once more before hopping into his newly fixed truck. 

James just nodded as he counted the money the man paid him, “Yea, i’m always lookin at her- especially when she's bouncing on my cock”. 

The old man’s eyes almost popped out of his sockets; “Pardon?!”. 

James finally met his eye once more with a smug look, “Yea, she’s not my daughter- that’s my girlfriend”. 

The man just sat with the truck held in reverse as he tried to replay the whole interaction. 

“And I’m gonna fuck her raw for that shit she just pulled- Thanks for the tip and have a nice day” he said before shoving the cash into his pocket and shutting the garage gate. 

You had taken a seat at James’ desk as you mindlessly scrolled on your phone. You thought it was funny to play with him like that but you didn’t think it would get him too worked up- so when you heard him call for you to come out to the garage your body buzzed with nervous excitement. 

He had called your name harsher than he normally would so you could tell he was feeling some type of way but you couldn’t quite put your finger on what… were you about to be lectured, yelled at, or fucked? 

Maybe all three heh

James was standing domineeringly with his feet slightly parted and arms crossed tight as you entered the garage. 

“Yesss? What’s wrong Jamie” you answered innocently. 

He clicked his tongue and cut his eyes, “you know damn well what you were doing”. 

You pouted your pretty lips and shook your head, “I don’t really see anything wrong with joking” you said smugly. 

Annnd now you’re here, bent over his camaro with him ruthlessly plunging his thick cock in and out of you.

James’ veins popped as he tugged at your hair with one hand and angled your hips up with the other. He was panting like an animal as he forcefully thrusted into you, heavy balls slapping against your swollen clit. 

“Fuck, please! Jamie- Slow down!” you cried as you grounded yourself on the hood of the old car as your boyfriend hit it from the back. 

“Jamie?” he questioned, squeezing your ass harder.

“James!” you managed.

He let out a low chuckle that made you even wetter than before, “you wanted to call me dad so bad earlier, what happened, doll?”. 

You could hear his stupid smirk in the way he spoke, you wanted to say something but all that was coming out were pathetic whimpers and moans.

You felt him shudder as you clenched your gummy walls around his throbbing cock- “s-shit” he cursed under his breath as he slowly pulled out until just his tip was left in you. 

Your eyes were already brimming with tears-but when he stopped his movements, the tears started to flow. Your poor pussy ached for him to slide between your folds- once he started, you needed him to finish. 

It was almost criminal how empty you felt without your boyfriend’s dick inside of you. You began to whine the longer he held still. 

“You think you’re so slick, little brat” he growled as his rough palm made contact with your bright red ass cheek for the umpteenth time. 

He leaned down to whisper in your ear and you felt the cool silver of his cross chain as it slid down your arched spine. 

“Who am I” he asked with a dangerous lilt to his voice. 

“James” you cried again, you knew that was the wrong answer but you needed him to keep going.

Without warning he plunged into you and bottomed out as your eyes rolled back in pleasure. But just as fast as he was in, he had resumed the previous position. 

“Incorrect” he said before pulling completely out. 

You whimpered before he flipped you around so that you were staring at his flushed face; God he was perfect. Looking down between the two of you- his hard cock was completely coated in your combined juices and twitched as he stood over you. 

He grabbed your hips and lined himself up with your aching core once more before shoving himself in with an abrupt snap of his hips. You gripped onto his forearms as you yelped. 

“Who am I” he asked once more, his voice low with lust. 

“D-Daddy” you cried in humiliation as you shied away from James’ watchful eyes. 

He halted his movements and leaned closer to your ear, “Almost. What did you call me earlier, doll?” he said with a devious smirk. 

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, “...dad”. 

“What was that baby? Didn’t hear ya” James taunted. 

“DAD!” you wailed as you dug your nails into your older man’s forearms. 

“That’s it, Sweetheart” he smiled as he quickened his pace. 

You moaned as his sloppy thrusts jiggled your breasts around for Jame’s viewing pleasure. You felt your high approaching fast. 

“Fuck- I”m close- I” you cried as James continued diving deeper and deeper into your sopping cunt. 

James bit his bottom lip and pulled out as fast as he had been fucking you; leaving you with a disappointingly empty feeling. You gasped at the loss of his massive member and your eyes shot open to see why your boyfriend felt the need to pull out. 

There he was in all of his glory; brow adorned with sweat , face flushed, brows drawn together, and lips parted. Soon you felt his warm ropes of cum spilling onto your stomach, you whimpered at the wasted seed and your lost orgasm. 

He finished stroking himself with a shudder and squeezed out the rest of his spend onto you with a low groan. 

“W-why?” you almost cried as your boyfriend began to clean himself off. 

“Good girls wouldn’t cum from their dad’s dick-” he tossed you a towel from the hanger on the wall, “I hope you’ve learned your lesson, little one”. 

“Once you’ve had time to think about your actions and clean up- maybe I’ll consider letting you cum” he said before leaving you alone and empty in his dim office. 

***

lol I hope you enjoyed :)

[irlmaeda]

just rewatched rebellion and god its so good. so so good. i want to talk a bit about the flower scene because its such a well done scene that i think really helps set up homura's transformation near the end. also it made me cry /silly

before i get into it i do want to preface it with this: i know the madoka in the labyrinth really is madoka, but what's important is that her memory is gone and being held by sayaka and bebe.

she's been reset to episode one madoka, and she hasn't gone through that same character growth that allowed her to confidently sacrifice herself to become the law of cycles. in a world full of nightmares, relatively harmless ceeatures compared to the witches, what motivation would she have to sacrifice herself?

its like the scene on the walkway in the anime, where homura asks her if she'd throw away everything, family, friends, to change her life. in its original context its purpose is simple: its code for whether madoka would become a magical girl. but when its called back to at the end of rebellion, it's about her becoming the law of cycles.

madoka without her memories, the one in the labyrinth, would have answered just the same as she did in the anime. but when she has her godhood back and is split in half by homura, she has enough awareness of her place in the universe to question her surroundings and what she's being asked.

anyways the point is that what madoka is saying in this scene isnt necessarily her 'true feelings' and instead a side-effect of her memory wipe and the labyrinth. ok? ok.

ok flower scene. the scene starts off with madoka walking with homura, bringing her to the spot they were at near the beginning of the movie: the flower field where they said they felt like they knew each other forever.

madoka says that homura can tell her anything, and that even if she cant help, she'll listen. when homura begins to speak, theyre on two opposite sides of the overhang.

homura, as she begins to realize the truth of this world, is isolated from madoka. homura is in the dark, in shadow, while madoka is completely and almost unnatturally illuminated.

homura says she had a terrible dream,¹ where madoka went far away, and everyone else forgot about her. as she says this, she runs away from madoka, through the flowers. she doesn't want to confront it at all.

she says no one could understand how she felt. she was so lonely. she thought she had just made madoka up, she began to doubt herself.²

at this, madoka comes in close, and hugs homura. she's closing the distance that homura has tried to put between the two of them, both metaphorically and physically. she's reaching out.

she reaffirms that yes, that's terrible, but it's okay now. because she would never do something like that. madoka says she was weak, and she would never do something that made someone as strong as homura cry.

homura is immediately receptive, the idea that madoka didnt actually want to sacrifice herself, it's tantalizing. maybe there's still a chance. maybe, just maybe, she can have madoka back.

madoka continues, she would never want to leave any of them. homura, sayaka, kyoko, or mami, her family, the people in her class, she'd never want to go somewhere she could never see them again.

and as she says this, she begins to re-braid homura's hair, the hair she took down as she became disillusioned and serious within the anime, and the hair she took down as she began to search for the truth in the movie.

while madoka comforts homura, she's drawing her deeper into the false reality. she's reinforcing the doubt in the back of homura's mind that maybe, just maybe, madoka's sacrifice wasn't what she really wanted.

while braiding her hair, she's symbolically trying to bring her back to the state she was in at the start of the movie: entirely an unquestioning part of the labyrinth.

and then madoka says that even if she had no other choice, she would never have the courage to do something like that.

a blimp shines a spotlight on homura, as she suddenly understands what she has to do. it's the moment she gets the idea to pull madoka down from the heavens to be by her side.

it even directly flashes back to the scene on the walkway, where at the beginning of the series, madoka says she wouldnt change anything. in her mind, this is what madoka really feels. this is the truth. this is what she needed to hear.

as she says it outloud, this is how she really feels, a darkness spreads from her. her motivation is established. she'd do anything to protect madoka, so why didn't she stop her? she has to do the second best thing: bring her back.

she turns to madoka. she has what it takes to make that hard decision, homura knows this, she's seen it before. she's far kinder and stronger than she knows. the flowers die, and turn to dandelions, floating in the wind.

but of course madoka doesnt remember. she returns to reality, the braid falling out of her hair. maybe she's an illusion, or a false copy someone else created. how else could they meet again?

but she says can tell, this is the real madoka. they could talk, just one more time, they could talk.³ and that's what homura's wanted for so long, she doesn't care that it could be fake. because in this moment it's real.

she knows what she needs to do now.

———————～ ♪ ～———————

¹ this is actually called back to later on, at least in the dub! when kyoko is talking to sayaka in the final battle she says she had a dream where sayaka died, "but that was real, wasn't it? this is the dream." felt like pointing it out but didnt want to break the flow of the paragraph

² this is just a personal note but ohhhhg god. this line made me start sobbing in real time. i get it.

³ homura did nothing wrong

(sorry that the screenshots are a little low quality, i got them from a clip on youtube from like 7 years ago. which is also why i paraphrased the dialogue instead of directly quoting it since i didnt have prime video up while writing this lmao)

[andreils-keys]

kay so ive been taking prompts from my instagram and

why would you tell me not to kill one and if i do to bring him back please you’re taking all the joy out of writing >:(

anyways lets get into it <3 (tw: small mention of domestic abuse)

(disclaimer yes i am a kandreil shipper :))

andrew is cursed in the same way blue was sort of where if he tells someone that he loves them they’ll die (yes i changed it a bit)

but instead of doing the whole 'you're cursed zap magic' thing (bc i don't think it'd fit very well in the aftgverse) im gonna try something else             

andrew had some pretty shitty foster homes when he was young

but the worst one was a small house by a family-owned ice cream shop

he remembers the ice cream shop very vividly. it was where he went when his foster mother was out working or drinking. it was where he went to feel safe.

he was pretty young, maybe 4 ? 5 ? impressionable. in that stage where santa claus and the boogie man were real, where hiding under a blanket protected you from nightmares. (he learned pretty quickly that hiding under the blanket did not protect you from anything.

he was bashed and battered with fists and words, words that cursed his very being and proclaimed that to love him was to die.

he was so young

he was only a child

and he did what children do best

he believed        

there was a time when he doubted

another foster parent, a run down house made beautiful with love and mismatched furniture

the road to healing is rocky and dangerous, but easier to traverse when you have someone behind you

finally, he let himself love

he let his foster mother in, little by little, and he thought: maybe im not a curse

and he said: i love you

the day after, she died in a car crash

the car brutalized

her body brutalized

his heart brutalized

coincidence? he says out loud at the entrance of another foster home. because it needs to be said. because lies always become crystal clear when said out loud.      

bc of this he's never directly expressed love for anyone and he tends to distance himself from people just to make sure there's 0 risk of him causing someone's death

but if he does care for someone he shows this through actions (no i love yous because that's what he believes caused his foster mothers death)            

he's always had people he's cared about, people he's wanted to protect and keep safe

but ever since the car crash, hes never had anyone hes wanted to say i love you to     

until     

[enter kevin day]         

the first person that consumed him was kevin, the boy that sought him out in high school with desperation in his eyes, raving about a sport that had made andrews days in juvie a little more bearable. 

the man that always appeared on television with a cardboard smile stamped onto his face, always a step behind riko moriyama, always hiding in his shadow.

the man that inexplicably made yet another appearance in andrews life, this time with a shattered hand and a plea for help.

the man that pushed and pulled andrew just enough to get him through another day, another week.        

and then neil, so different from kevin and yet so alike, as sudden as a gunshot, as tantalizing as death. 

the boy that's as invested in riko and kevin as andrew is. 

the boy that is impenetrable and distrusting, the boy that lets no one in. 

at first andrew thinks he's safe. as long as neil doesn't let anyone in, that means andrew won't have to let him in. and kill him.

aha sike. turns out neil is the trusting-no-one-but-andrew-minyard-and-kevin-day type           

the three of them form a twisted complicated pyramid; each side leaning against the other two. immovable. strong. inseparable, unless andrew deliberately pushes himself away when the feeling ballooning in his chest is too much.

(although he will always get pulled back in. the gravity of neil and kevin is too strong for andrew to stay away.)

he promises to protect them because that's what he does for the people he cares about.

but falling in love is a whole other ball game.

andrew is so afraid.

afraid to love them, afraid to let them in.

he knows he can't allow it; every time he thinks of how much he feels for them, he remembers the car, the shattered windows, the pieces of glass tipped with blood.

but andrew is only human.

even if he tells himself not to fall in love, the heart and body tend to ignore the mind.

he let’s himself be selfish

the hard press of kevin's lips against his, the gentle tug of neils fingers threaded through his hair, a hand clamped against neils neck and the other gripping kevin's arm.

that is all andrew allows

he doesn't mind if kevin and neil go gallivanting off somewhere on their own (s a f e l y; if those idiots get taken by the yakuza it would be extremely inconvenient for andrew)((andrew: dammit now i have to save them from the mafia nicky: you don't have t- andrew: no im gonna)), even if it prods unpleasantly at a sensitive point in his heart. if they're happy, hes happy. 

(well, not quite happy. satisfied is the proper word. and he supposes that's the most he can ask for.)       

he doesn't tell them about the nightmares. the dreams of fire and blood and twisted metal, of fists and a curse and a small, dark room. more often than not neil will wake to find andrew sliding out of his bunk and going to the kitchen for a bowl of ice cream.

neil won't pry, but he'll wake kevin and they'll join andrew in the kitchen, standing on the other side of the counter from andrew with their shoulders pressed together, a reminder to each other and andrew that they are there for each other.         

and then neil disappears. like a dream. like smoke. 

andrew took his eyes off neil for one second, and neil vanished in the crowd of angry fans.

they search and search but neil is gone.

all they find is neils exy racket lying on the ground in pieces, broken from the stampede of fans.

andrew whispers, the words dredged from a desperate, vulnerable place inside him: i love you. neil, i love you. come back to me. come back to kevin. come back to us.     

the next day, the fbi tells them that they found neils gym bag. it was covered with tire tracks and spattered with blood.

they couldn’t find neil.    

and the pyramid falls.

the grief and guilt and heartbreak andrew feels is unparalleled. never has he felt so broken. never has he felt so dirty. he did this. he did this.

kevin insists neil is still alive. lost and floating, but alive

but andrew knows better.

his nightmares get worse. sprinkled in with the mauled car and heavy fists is a shattered exy stick, a gym bag dripping blood, an unreachable figure with red hair and a slash of a smile.

andrew spirals. 

he refuses to speak to anyone. even kevin. he'll stay with kevin and press his palm into the side of kevin's neck, his pulse grounding andrew and keeping him in the here and now, but he will not speak.    

cabeswater brought gansey back right and i feel like the one closest to magic would be renee (thank you neils jortventures fairy magic huzzah) except she doesn't use magic. 

so remember how she was affiliated with a gang when she was young 

there was a member of the gang that continued to reach out to her, especially once they escaped from the gang a little after renee did

renee did respond to their messages, but she tried not to initiate conversation because they were part of her old life and she was living and loving her new one. 

essentially she was nice enough not to cut them out completely. 

unfortunately the kid got caught up in another gang that was closely associated with the butcher of baltimore

when nathan dies they text renee about how their gang is in pieces because the butcher is dead. 

renee isnt there to receive the message right away (she and andrew were sparring, as they were keen to do now that neil was gone and andrew was out of sorts) and kevin is the one to catch the word butcher when the notification pops up

he scrambles for renees phone and sees: the butcher is dead.

he is so relieved because the butcher, the man kevin always had to fear and avoid, is dead

and then he starts to think

neil’s father was the butcher. does this have something to do with neil? was the butcher the one that took neil? if the butcher is dead, does that mean neil is still alive?

it’s a bit of a stretch, but kevin is willing to believe anything if it means that neil is alive

he tells andrew

he doesn't expect andrew to do anything but he still wants to tell him, just so that andrew will know, just so that kevin himself can taste the words.

kevin asks renee if they can reach out and she's like wtf y'all doing going through my phone but she understands how hard it hit them, andrew especially, and if it'll help them she'll go along   

they meet up with the kid

renee seems nice enough, but andrew can tell how strained she is by the way she keeps cracking her knuckles one by one

they get the info from the kid about a red haired blue eyed cut up burned kid

kevin is distraught about the cut up burned part

andrew is close to vomiting from a whirlwind of relief (they never said he was dead) and denial and fear for neil

he refuses to get his hopes up; he said the cursed words. he saw the blood on neils’s gym bag. he saw the shattered exy stick. (or was that a dream? his nightmares and reality are so tightly interwoven he can hardly tell what's real)

the kid warns kevin and andrew that the last time they saw neil was in the basement and that the probablity of him still being there is relatively low

kevin makes a sort of impatient gesture at the kid and they bring kevin and andrew to the house (renee stays behind; she made a lame excuse about needing to make a phone call but she just wanted to give them space, either to reunite with neil or grieve their loss a second time)

from the outside, it’s a nice looking house and it doesn’t look threatening in the least, but andrew knows how deceiving appearances can be

once they go inside everything is in shambles. the couch overturned, the tv screen cracked in multiple places, ceiling plaster and pieces of porcelain all over the counters and dining table

the kid points them to the basement

kevin is the first to go down

andrew is surprised mainly because kevin is usually always so careful

andrew follows more warily, afraid to find nothing, afraid to find neil; afraid to have his heart broken all over again, afraid of the prospect that he has wasted his entire life living a lie.

he reaches the basement to find kevin wrapped around a small beat up, bruised, burnt, and shivering lump.

neil is hurt and bloody, and it drives a stake through andrew’s heart, but the fact that neil is breathing and alive alive alive causes a different kind of pain, the unique pain of relief and sorrow and love swirled together.

kevin is stroking neils hair and very obviously trying not to have a panic attack and andrew goes to them

sits down

both kevin and neil look up at him, and andrew watches as some of the fear and pain in their eyes fades.

he can feel the words bubbling up and he wants to say them, to scream them, but they are stuck inside his throat, twisted around his tongue.

it is a language andrew has taught himself to unlearn.

the road to healing is rocky and dangerous, but easier to traverse when you have someone behind you

it’s even easier when you have two people behind you, people who have seen what you have seen, people who make an effort to understand you.

andrew eventually does say it.

the words, no longer cursed, are still clumsy and fall in a messy jumble at his feet

but there they are, light as a cloud, heavy as a storm:

i love you

[mccnyoongi]

buttercup ⇢ pt one

⇢ pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

⇢ genre: smut + slight angst

⇢ au: college!au, fwb!au, stoner!yoongi, assholeish!yoongi, fuckboyish!yoongi fwb to lovers trope

⇢ word count: 6k+

⇢ warnings: smut, honestly mostly porn, unprotected sex, recreational use of drugs & alcohol, dirty talk, praise, degradation, ridiculously excessive use of pet names, fingering, dom!Yoongi, unprotected sex, slight dumbification (whoops), hair pulling, creampie??, oral (f receiving), pussy slaping, reader has a thing for Yoongi’s hands because who doesn’t, reader and yoongi are both sarcastic and oblivious, this part is basically pwp.

⇢ synopsis: Min Yoongi wears leather jackets, fucks you like he hates you, spends most of his days on the wrong side of a blunt, and calls you the sweetest names when no one else is around. And you definitely aren’t falling in love with him.

⇢ author’s note: so yes, buttercup is being cut up into two parts thanks to a lot of my life getting uprooted this week!!! ill spare you the details but everything is really chaotic rn so im sorry this isnt exactly what i promised :( thank u for all the insane amont of love ive gotten so far. this is a pretty um... filthy piece of writing skfjsd and it’s definitely not perfect and id love to get better with everything i put out on here but i hope u guys enoy ily xx

If there was a magic lantern hidden somewhere on the campus of this university, you’d find it and your first wish would be to make it so that no one found out about this whole illicit affair you’ve been having with Min Yoongi. The secrecy was fun, sexy like you guys had a whole Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing going on. Or something. Your second wish would be to make his dick vibrate. 

But then he just had to go and go down on you in a bathroom during a party at the Beta Tau Rho house, not even a month into the fall semester, knowing you wouldn’t be able to be quiet or subtle at all. And he was so smug about it too, the fucker.

You can still feel the embarrassment buzzing under the surface of your cheeks from when you walked out that bathroom door and a dozen frat boys and mutual friends of yours and Yoongi’s were out there, waiting for the two of you to emerge and giving you a round of applause when you did. Yoongi had just laughed and rolled his eyes before leading you to the kitchen to get the pair of you some drinks. He’s always been particularly good at brushing that shit off of his shoulder. You aren’t, but you’re pretty good at pretending.

Maybe you should have ended it all that night. Of course, you didn’t. You figured, hey,  you’re young and in school so fuck making good decisions. Of course, the fact that no other guy has ever been able to dick you down nearly as well as Min Yoongi can is probably a huge contributing factor. 

Sure he might be grumpy, and sarcastic, and he tries way too hard to look cool and nonchalant, but he’s also the first guy to ever make you squirt. And you’re pretty sure that the way he waxes poetic about your pussy would make even Shakespeare swoon. So maybe the pros outweigh the cons, but only just.

“I can’t believe you’ve been getting Yoongi dick for almost three full months and haven’t divulged every single detail and vein to me, you cold, uncaring bitch-” Jimin’s voice is far too loud for the student-run coffee shop the two of you regulared every Sunday; a tradition that Jimin always insisted upon. He loves his traditions almost as much as he loves destroying any personal boundaries between the two of you.

“Keep going Park, see if I ever buy your coffee again.”

“Don’t change the subject,” You can’t say you’re surprised that Jimin is reacting like this. Self-proclaimed ‘disaster bisexual,’ Jimin was one of the very first friends you made back when you were a shy, barely functioning freshman. 

He actually introduced you to all his frat brothers, and a large number of the people you now call your friends. Including Yoongi, whose dick seems to be a reoccurring topic between you and… most people you know. Even if they weren’t at that dumb party, Jungkook made sure that every living being that stepped onto campus was aware of the newly found out fuckbuddies.

“We don’t keep anything from each other, Y/N,” He’s whining over his coffee now, full lips perched in that pretty pout that he regularly uses to his advantage. “I even told you about that time I puked on Namjoon’s dick in our second year!”

“Mmm, and I wish you hadn’t told me, Minnie-” The visual still haunts you, but Jimin has never had any predilections when it came to oversharing, especially not with people who have the misfortune of being his best friends. “‘Sides, I didn’t figure it was important, the whole Yoongi thing-”

“His dick, you mean.”

“Because it’s not like we’re getting married,” You carefully ignore him, a useful habit you’ve picked up three years into being his friend. “Just sex, remember?”

“So fucking what? You told me how you sucked Jeon’s cock in a movie theatre less than twelve hours after it happened-” You take a large gulp of your own iced coffee to busy yourself when the shameful memory is brought up. Not shameful because of the promiscuity of the act, no you’re an adult, thank you very much, but rather because of the boy you performed them on. Jeon Jungkook is now more of an annoying younger brother to you than anything. Not to mention he’s got a giant mouth that couldn’t keep a secret even if it killed him.

“Jesus you could’ve picked any other example-” You groan out as Jimin smirked, receiving the exact reaction from you he wanted. You think you’d have learned by now. “I’m sorry, okay? You big baby.”

“Hey, you’re on thin ice,” He points an accusatory finger at you and you have to fight the urge to smack it out of your face. “Now you have to make it up to me.”

You sigh- Jimin can really be exhausting when you’re only half a medium coffee in. “And how do you expect me to do that, Park.”

“Dick details, fucking obviously,” He says it like you’re a moron for even asking. And maybe you are. “Well details in general, I guess. You know, the basics; length, girth, does he make you call him daddy, is he good- I mean he must be un-fucking-real if you’ve been bouncing on it for three goddamn months, you whore.”

“I’m not giving you measurements, Jimin, I’ve yet to take a tape measure to it- and stop assuming everyone has a daddy kink just ‘cause you do.”

“Okay, vanilla bitch. You’re lucky I already know he’s got a monster cock from that time he streaked at that post-mid-term party next year.”

“Then why’d you even ask?”

“To see if you’d tell me the truth. It was a test and you failed.”

“I may be a college student but you’re gonna have to threaten me with a little more than a failing grade to spook me,” You roll your eyes playfully- there’s no real threat in his words, there never is.

“You’re right, I’m sure you’d much rather be punished by Yoongi, huh?”

                    ..............................................................................

Watching Yoongi roll a joint, his long, slender and experienced fingers moving quickly and deftly, has always had this near hypnotizing-like effect on you. His apartment smells like weed, the scent never surprising and would almost be overwhelming if you weren’t so used to it by now. The sight alone is almost enough to make you wet. But you’re stronger than that- except for when you’re not. 

Sexy hands aside, but unfortunately not on you, you’re thankful for his cannabis-related expertise because a) you can’t roll one yourself to save your life and b) despite normally reserving your consumption habits for parties, you feel like you deserve a fat one after the week you’ve had. What with, you know, the stress of having every student on campus knowing about yours and Yoongi’s torrid affair, thanks to fucking Jeon Jungkook. Brat. Plus incessant goading from both Jimin and your roommate, Irene- equally angry as Jimin about your worst kept secret- has only made you sink further into your insecure and paranoid thoughts.

The weed would help, you’d told yourself when your phone pinged with that much anticipated what’re u up 2? late night text from the raven-haired devil himself. Yep, it was the weed, the comforting blanket of getting high. And had nothing to do with the boy that was offering them. Not even his fat cock or magnetic pull he seemed to have on you. 

“Alright, dove,” He says from his spot on his worn-out single-dorm couch- the names don’t tend to surprise you the way they used to. You kinda figured that the affection-starved Yoongi had just you know… gotten comfortable with the girl he had been fucking for the last couple of months. No big deal. Sure they made your heart swell and your panties dampen, but then it could be looked at as a positive. 

He looks up at you from his spot on the couch, where he’s uncomfortably hunched over the table as he works and notices how you’re looking rather spaced out- not entirely rare for you. He’s used to the hundred-mile stare you tend to adopt when deep in thought, though it’s considerably less common for a sober you.

“Dove?” Nothing. “Y/N?” It’s the use of your actual name from his lips that finally grabs your attention.  You finally turn your head to look at him, the glaze of deep thought finally leaving your eyes. An eyebrow quirks to let him know you’ve heard him, but his gaze remains piercing and unwavering on yours. “You need to stop worrying so much, dove.”

“That’s what the weed is for, Yoongs.”

“The weed? You’re just here so I can smoke you out then, huh? No ulterior motives, hm?” His tone is as dry and sarcastic as ever, qualities he had quickly become known for around campus. He shurgs “Fine. Just here to sesh. C’mere then.”

You scoot closer to his side of the couch, not even thinking twice before listening to him. His tongue is tantalizing as he licks the rolling paper, even if he doesn’t mean it to be. He’s almost always tantalizing to you.

“Don’t be grumpy. You invited me over,” Your words are softer than you meant, but your proximity to him makes you feel stilted. He was right, you really needed a smoke, more on edge than ever.

“Well, technically,” He starts, unlit, perfectly rolled joint now perched between his lips. He grabs at your legs before continued so that you were resting sideways on the black couch, legs strewn over legs, thighs touching thighs. “I invited the best pussy on campus over.” You crinkle your nose at his bluntness.

“Yoongi-” You scold indignantly and pinch at a well-toned bicep. “Don’t be an asshole, you asshole.” He grins despite the insult like he’d expected it. Or he’s revelling in it.

“You know I’m just fucking around, angel,” His arm tucks around your waist comfortably, pulling you even closer. “Tryna chill you out. I can tell when you’re all strung out. I know how you,” He pokes you in the middle of the forehead, still grinning, as you pout from being called strung out. “Tick.” 

He really does, doesn't he? The thought is mildly terrifying, and you think that Yoongi might be too smart or his own good sometimes. When he’s not smoking himself into another dimension, that is.

He leans back into his seat, uncurling from around you to finally light up. A few sparks later and the room is fogging up with overly pungent smoke- the cheap smell makes you think that he probably bought it off of Hobi, too lazy to go any further off-campus than his own block of apartments to one of the nice but relatively affordable dispensaries. You crinkle your nose at the scent, grateful he’s too distracted to notice since he’d probably just tease you for liking the fancy shit more. At least you trust Hobi, and he lives only two buildings down from Yoongi. Truly an age of convenience.

A few passes, tokes, whatevers later, and you’re feeling substantially... floaty. You’ve completely relaxed, choosing to lie down rather than put the effort into sitting up, though your legs are still thrown across your equally high counterpart’s. What’s left of the roach is left to burn in one of many strategically placed ashtrays around the apartment, this one being on the living room table.

Yoongi has barely moved in the past while, head resting lazily on the back of the couch, black hair messy and his neck- which is somehow handsome to you- stretched out, and hands resting against your bare knees. You’ve barely paid him any mind, the silence nothing but comforting and easy. 

Which is why you can’t help but jolt just a little in surprise when those hands, the hypnotizing ones you’re so obsessed with suddenly start creeping up your legs, halfway up your thighs, carefully kneading the supple flesh he finds there. He chuckles at your reaction, finally picking his up his head to watch you through heavy-lidded eyes. “Bet you’re extra sensitive right now, huh petal?” He doesn’t have to bet because he knows it’s true, knows how needy you get when you’ve smoked. And he loves it- it’s why he never makes you pay for any of the times he smokes you out.

“Fuck off,” You whine at his light-hearted teasing, but Yoongi just giggles- he fucking giggles- in response, hands still travelling the expanse of your thighs. 

“Be nice,” His words are still jovial, but there’s a gruffness behind them that sends a shiver down your spine, despite the relative stuffiness of his living room.

“I am nice, you’re just a dick,” You pout- childish, but you can’t quite come up with anything more clever at the moment. The jab may be weaker than your usual quips, but Yoongi seems to have decided it’s enough to warrant a punishment of sorts, as he sends a quick slap onto your thigh. It’s certainly not the harshest hit you’ve received from him, it’s more playful than anything, but it’s enough to make you whine, not even noticing when your own hands jump down to grab at him and your now sore flesh.

His eyes take on a new sort of darkness, beyond the dilated pupils from the high he’s in the middle of as he grabs at your wrists, any assault you had planned halting in its tracks. His large hands that you’ve drooled over- figuratively and literally- many a time are big enough that he only needs one of them to hold both of yours steady. He uses his grip on you to yank you back up to a sitting position, where your noses almost touch and you can feel his breath fan across your lips.

“I told you, I know how you tick,” He lets his tongue swipe out to wet his lips, the act distracts you and makes you mimic it with your own tongue and lips. The smirk he gives you is all at once wicked and panty dampening. “Which means I know you like it when I’m mean. I know you like when I treat you like this, like my little slut,” The word makes you draw in a breath as your face reddens in humiliation and tension. “And- and I know you’re probably soaking through your panties right now, all over my couch. Making a fucking mess.”

It infuriates you to no end how right he is as your breaths come out shaky and uneven as you feel your pussy flutter around nothing beneath your shorts and panties. 

“Aren’t you?” His tone doesn’t leave room for playfulness anymore, and you’re nodding dumbly before you can give it a second thought. “Good girl.”

He doesn’t give you any time to bask in the praise before he’s leaning in to capture your lips in a searing and sloppy kiss. He’s domineering even in the way he kisses you, teeth biting and tongue sweeping into your own mouth as he revels in the small sounds that escape you. His hands leave your wrists, freeing them so you can grip onto raven locks with a newly freed hand as his own wrap around your waist. 

Every sense is filled with him, and it is all at once comforting and exhilarating.

He tugs and roughly manhandles you so that you’re properly astride his denim-covered thighs, your lips never untangling in the process. When your lips finally do come apart, it’s with a lewd sound and a gasp from your mouth. He’s still smirking.

“Gonna fuck you so good petal,” Yoongi has always been so blunt and unforgiving, whether in bed or out and it had been one of the things that first attracted you to him, besides his obvious good looks. 

Before the two of you had even gotten together, when you were friends who didn’t fuck on the regular, you had even mustered up the courage to touch yourself to the thought of him speaking to you like this- your own fingers circling your clit and delving into yourself without abandon. You had only been able to imagine up a fraction of his sexual prowess. 

Like the time only a few weeks ago you admitted to him in a foggy haze, high than you think you’d ever been. how you’d brought yourself to climax with images and soundbites of him flitting through your head. He’d immediately made you put on a show for him- recreating those nights, but this time with him sitting feet away from you and ignoring your pleas for him to touch you.

Right now, however, the only things keeping you grounded in reality is the feeling of the muscles in his thighs flexing beneath you, though nowhere near where you truly ache to be touched, and one of his hands brutishly tangled in your hair, pulling harshly so he can have easy access to your neck. Plush lips start soft, kissing and licking at the skin there, before his teeth join in, biting and sucking like he loves the taste of you (because he does).

“Y-yoongi-” You’re trying to keep the whimpers at bay, like maybe if you stop yourself from seeming so turned on so fast it’ll get him to fuck you faster. “C’mon, just fuck me already.”

“So demanding for such a needy bitch,” He has you squirming on his lap and you don’t know why you thought you had any power over him left. “Have you forgotten your place? Can’t think of anything else but getting fucked, huh?”

You nod in agreement, but find out he must want a verbal response when you’re met with a sharp spank to your ass that has you squealing and bucking into his lap. “Yeah, yeah Yoongi ‘m sorry, just need it.”

“I know, baby, I know, you can’t even help it when you get all messy like this, I know,” You can’t decide whether his words are sweet or patronizing when he coos at you like that, but either way he’s got you another pair of panties.

“Need you to fix it, Yoongs,” All pride is out the window when he’s got you like this, and you love pleading with him to give you what you want almost as much as likes making you beg.

“I will,” He gives you one more harsh bite to the junction of your neck and your shoulder that you know will blossom into a bruise just in time for your 10 AM class tomorrow and you hiss at the mingling of pain and pleasure. “Now fucking get up,” He pats lightly at your thigh twice at the order.

You’re in no position to disobey, and you know from experience that not listening to him will end up with a sore ass and no release in sight. You stand up on shaky, doe-like legs and he grins at the sight of you. He stands up with you, his lean form and strong stance making him look taller than he really is. Then his long fingers are pulling at what little clothing you have, stripping you of both your tank top and your shorts and your bra isn’t far behind. Soon you’re clad only in your panties while he’s still fully clothed in black form-fitting jeans and a plain white t-shirt. Thankfully he leaves his cliche, but devastatingly sexy leather jacket at the door.

He doesn’t make any move to undress at all and you hope to god he will eventually- you love seeing his honey-coloured skin covered in a thin layer of sweat as he fucks you into oblivion. But for now, he stays fully clothed and he roughly pulls you by your upper arm until he can bend you over the arm of the couch, panty-covered ass high and perfectly on display for him.

“God, you’re fucking dripping,” He taunts, fingers running over your pussy through the thin cotton, making you whine into the rough cushion your face is resting on. “All this from almost nothing, huh? You’re such a fucking slut for me, shit.” He sounds genuinely amazed by you and when you uncomfortably crane your neck back to get a good look at him you let out a proper moan. He must have stripped his shirt off when you weren’t facing him, because his chest is bare for you to gaze at, or you would gaze at it if you weren’t distracted by the hand that isn’t on you, which is lazily working over his cock, rock hard and aching through his jeans.

He smirks when he notices what’s grabbed your attention, knowing you’re only moments away from quite literally drooling on his pillows. “Is this what you want? Hm?”

“Ye-yeah your cock, Yoongi, need your cock,” Your face burns red and blood burns hot as the crude words leave your mouth.

“And you’ll fucking get it, dove,” The cute name contrasts the second harsh spank he lands on your ass and you moan at the delicious sting. 

You think that he must be about to tear your panties off and sink into you, but that would be too predictable and Yoongi loves to keep you on your toes. Instead, he disappears from your line of sight, a dull thump coming from the hardwood as he drops to his knees, feline gaze now level with your cunt. 

“Yoongi-” You’re whining again, and you even have to hold yourself back from stomping your foot childishly because, god, you just need him to do something.

And then he finally does- he licks a thick stripe, right from your clit to your entrance, still over your panties, and you gasp in surprise. He does it again, twice, three, four times until your hips are bucking and you’re whining because you need more, you need him to actually touch you and not be a giant fucking tease for once in his life.

“Be fucking patient,” He hisses out, but at least he’s finally rolling your underwear down your legs to toss them somewhere across the room. “Or I swear to god, I’ll hold you down just like this so you can’t even squirm while I get myself off all over your messy cunt,” His hand is running up and down your bare pussy as he speaks, spreading the wetness around, to your clit and your thighs and your ass and then back again. “And then I’ll send you home without touching you or cleaning you up, so you’ll have to take the subway home covered in my come and fucking trembling. So be fucking good.” At the last word, he lands a mean slap against your gushing cunt and you let out an embarrassing squeak.

“Shit-fuck- Yoongi, please, just-” You stutter through your words, needing to get them out, though you don’t know why. “I’ll be good, okay? ‘M your good girl, I am, promise, I’ll be good.”

He doesn’t respond, at least not verbally. But you have to assume he’s happy with your desperate response when he finally delves into your pussy like a man starved, tongue licking into you, the muscle sending spasms up and down your legs. You have to muffle your moans by biting into a pillow, not needing another altercation with his neighbours, but you want nothing more than to yell his name as loud as you can until your voice goes hoarse when he shakes his head from side to side, tongue still buried inside of you and one of his hands now roughly circling your clit. 

It’s too much, but it’s not nearly enough. It’s when he switches positions between his hand and mouth that you think you might explode; his mouth latches onto your clit, tongue circling and playing with it and two fingers fucking into you, preparing you for the impressive girth of his own cock.

Your teeth let go of the strong grip it has so you can warn him of your impending orgasm. “Yoongi- gonna come-” You manage to choke out between barely quieted moans.

You know that he wouldn’t be able to respond if he was still suckling on your clit, but you still whine and wiggle your hips as he pulls away, earning you yet another spank to your rear, where you can only assume a nice handprint is forming. “Yeah? Want you to come all over my face, like a good messy whore- gotta come for me before I can fuck you like you need.” 

When his mouth finds your swollen clit again, you can’t help it as your orgasm barrels through you almost violently, every muscle tensing and fingers grasping at whatever they can find, neighbour’s delicate sensibilities forgotten as you moan out Yoongi’s name. He licks you through it, fingers no longer pistoning into you. When the last of the tremors have faded he finally pulls away, using his clean hand to wipe your mess off of his chin, though it hardly cleans him. 

“Good fucking girl,” The roughness with which he was grinding his still covered bulge into your now sopping wet center would be impossible to ignore even if your head weren’t a million miles away. But for now, everything is Yoongi, every single scent is filled with him and you think that that might be making your head even fuzzier than the drugs coursing through your system, but you’re too far gone to be sure. Or to even care.

Because all you can think about is his mouth-watering hands kneading at the slightly pinkened skin of your ass, his mouth-watering cock rutting against you and his mouth-watering, well, mouth pressing wet kisses and occasional bites up and down your spine. “Yoongi,” You meant to speak with at least a little more conviction, but his name comes out as little more than a mumble.

“Hm,” He hums against your skin and even those slight vibrations reverberate straight to your heart, which starts beating faster at the thought of what’s to come. “What, is my babygirl still needy?” 

The use of the word my in front of the affectionate name makes your heart jump, but you don’t even have time to scold yourself for thinking with your post-orgasmic pussy before he continues talking with that sinful mouth of him. “Such a greedy, desperate girl, won’t be happy ‘til you’re stuffed full of my fat cock,” His words have you whining and grinding back against him, where you don’t have to look to know you’re leaving a stain on his favourite jeans.  If you’re unlucky- or lucky depending on your mood- he’ll make you clean it up with your tongue as further delicious torture. 

But smoking makes Yoongi needy too, no matter how much he teases you for the effect it has on you, and he can’t wait much longer, not with his cock so hard he was a razor blades’ edge from losing his mind. He needs to be inside you as much as you need him.

Which is why you don’t doubt him for a second when he’s murmuring things about how he’s ‘gonna fuck you so good, gonna fuck you stupid,’ and you can only respond with even quieter whispers of ‘I knows’ and ‘pleases’ as he strips himself oh the rest of his clothes, hissing from oversensitivity as his cock makes contact with the air. It’s wonderfully overwhelming and he’s not even fucking you yet.

You can’t even explain how grateful you are when Yoongi turns you around because you love just seeing his cock. You’ve never been one to describe guys’ dicks as pretty before- except that TA you managed to fuck before Jimin sunk his claws into him, Kim Seokjin, because, well, you’re not blind. But Yoongi’s dick is gorgeous. It’s not the biggest thing you’ve ever seen, and it doesn’t have to be, not when it’s girthy enough to make you salivate with a curve that points to the heavens. Gorgeous.

He’s pulling you on top of him so he can sit back down and you’re back to straddling him, and you don’t complain because you know he’s tired both from the pot and crouching on his haunches for access to your center not two minutes ago. Plus he loves when you ride him, breasts bouncing in his face, wetness making a mess out of his lap and full access of your entire body for both his hands and lips.

“Need you to bounce on my fat cock before I fucking explode, baby,” And you’d have to be some sort of a madwoman to deny him.

“Need it too, Yoongs,” You don’t know why you feel the need to remind how desperate you are for him, surely he can feel it, your swollen pussy resting only centimetres above his throbbing length. “Can’t think of anything else.”

“I know,” He’s rubbing the angry red tip against your sopping folds, tinges of overstimulation making you jolt. Or you would jolt if his hands weren’t heavy on your waist, keeping you steady so you couldn’t a) get away from his cock or b) properly sink down onto it. “So pathetic and perfect for me like this, all cock drunk and fucked out and I haven’t even fucked you yet, huh?”

You nod frantically, and you can’t even find the energy to be embarrassed when a hand comes up to pet your hair with a condescending ‘awe’ as he pouts at you. You bat his hand away with a whine and furrowed eyebrows, but all that gets you is his hand tangled in your hair, yanking sharply in retaliation. “Careful, slut, or you won’t be coming for the next week-”

“Please, Yoongi-” You don’t let him finish, knowing from experience to always take his threats seriously. “I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry, okay just please-”

You cut yourself off with a high pitched, tea kettle-like squeak as he uses his hands on you as leverage to have you sink down onto his cock in one fell swoop. “Shit, god, you’re always so fucking tight around me, fuck me.”

I am, is what you wish you were coherent enough to snark back with, but you’re sure no one would blame you if they could feel what you feel right now. And what you’re feeling right now is how well Yoongi feels inside of you, like no cock you’ve ever had. Every ridge and vein on his cock fills you up to the fucking brim, no room left for a pinky or a thought that has to do with anything other than Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi.

And then he starts with those devilish moments of his hip, fucking into you shallowly and slowly to start and it’s all Yoongi’s dick. 

“Fucking bounce on it, dove. Fuck yourself on my cock, show me how much you need it,” He speaks through gritted teeth, each word a struggle as he tries not to fuck into you without thought. And it’s with the satisfaction you get knowing he’s just as desperate for you as you are for him that you find the strength to do as he says.

With quivering thighs, you push up and off of his cock, the two of you sharing a harmonious groan at the feeling, foreheads pressed against each other, skin sweaty. And this all just in the calm before the storm. 

It’s not long before the both of you are moving frantically, mere seconds, really. It’s intense and all-encompassing, as you grind and roll your hips, cock deeper than you knew to be possible, and his bucking his own hips into you roughly, no doubt as deeply in some sort of euphoria as you are. His hands are everywhere and so are his lips. He sucks marks into your tits and gropes your ass, controlling your movements to the best of his abilities.

All of that, plus your clit grinding against his pelvic bone every other second and your head just might be in another universe. 

Yoongi’s words are swirling around in your head, though you’re not properly taking any of it in- his velvety voice goes on about how wet you are, how tight you are, how you’re a good girl and it’s all another instrument in your downfall. You’ve never been much for heights but being with Yoongi feels like something akin to what you assume bungee jumping is like, and you’re just about at that point where your cord runs out of length and your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach.

“Tell me you’re fucking close, baby, c’mon,” This is as close to pleading as you can ever get Yoongi but you’re still swimming in pride. He brings a hand off of your ass to cup your cheek, brushing away your now mussed hair and a single stray tear and you drink in the look in his eyes, dark red-rimmed and needing. “Gonna fill you up with my come, just like I know you like, my perfect little cumslut, fuck, just need you to come first, yeah? All over my fucking cock.”

And with a particularly hard grasp at your ass, bringing you to grind your clit against him again, you’re gone. It’s considerably less intense than the previous one, as many second orgasms are, but your head is still spinning and you think you might have drooled a little, but you don’t mind and you know Yoongi doesn’t. Your attempts to stifle your moans are unsuccessful as the name of the man attached to your favourite cock falls from your lips like a mantra.

And where your orgasm is, Yoongi is rarely far behind- he loves seeing you fall apart around him, because of him and you always clench so fucking hard around him in the peak of your pleasure how could he fucking not. He’s grunting, moaning, damn near growling as he spurts his own release as deep into you as he possibly can, coating every inch of your delectable pussy, vague mumbles of how he’s filling you up, just like you’re meant to be that you can just barely hear.

Shakey breaths hit each of your faces as you come down, now still and worn out. Your chests move up and down and you don’t know when you’ve buried your face into the crook of his neck, but the warmth and smell are more comforting than any hit you’ve ever taken off of one of his blunts.

“Shit, buttercup,” He chuckles, the vibrations rumbling through his chest and where you’ve tucked yourself He runs a hand through his sweaty black locks, the other hand locked around your waist. “I don’t know how we’re gonna move without making this couch fucking disgusting.” Mood killer.

“Don’t give a shit.”

“Yeah, but I do. Especially if Joon or Hobi someone finds it and makes a big fucking deal out of it, like no other guy in his twenties has some come stained furniture.”

You pull back from the spot you wish he’d just let you fall asleep in so he can see your pout. He can’t find the sight of you… adorable? Your hair matted, bruises, courtesy of yours truly littering your tits and chest, a thin sheen of sweat making your skin glow and bottom lip jutted out exactly enough to be overexaggerated and so fucking adorable. 

At that moment he’s glad that about three weeks ago the two of you had started to break the unspoken no sleeping over after sex rule because he just wants to clean you up and feel you curl yourself around him like you like to.

You don’t know what time it is, just that it’s late and that it doesn't matter, because this was certainly time well spent. You wonder how much sleep you’ve given up in lieu of Yoongi’s pretty dick. Of course, it does matter... because you have a 9 am class tomorrow morning that you can’t miss, but that’s for future you to worry about. For now, it’s time to try to get up without defiling this Ikea couch (you failed miserably and giggled about it while Yoongi groaned in mock pain), burn out just one more joint, steal some clothes for bed and some snacks from his fridge, and pass the fuck out on his bed, which you think is way better than yours, but that has nothing to do with the boy in it or his comforting warmth and smell.

                     ..............................................................................

Past you is a dumb bitch. Also maybe current you. Point being, you hate you, because you’re sore and stiff and ten minutes late to your dumb 9 am class and it’s all Yoongi’s fucking fault. You texted him this much, calling him a ‘little bitch boy’ for not even waking you up to make you a cup of coffee with his fancy instant coffee machine before you left. He hasn’t responded yet because holy fuck does that guy sleep like a rock. A really cute, cuddly, sex-god rock.

But, as usual, Jimin came in clutch, handing you off a coffee as your paths crossed on campus, each of you heading to your respective classes. He gave you a one-armed-too-tight hug and a comment on how you have that very glamourous ‘I got fucked by Min Fucking Yoongi last night and you didn’t so I’m better than you look.’ You tried to take it as a compliment as you thanked him for the coffee. He gave you a cute kiss to your forehead that reminded you you could never even be annoyed at him for too long.

And now you’re in class. Headache from not getting enough sleep getting worse by the second while you tried not to think about what judgements people must be passing on you, with your sunglasses inside and hickeys you didn’t have time to cover up.

When your phone pings you assume it’s Jimin, with something slutty or sarcastic or both. But it’s not. It’s Yoongi- well, it’s what you have Yoongi’s number saved under, aka the drooling emoji three times over… You’re surprised he’s awake, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t have shit to do until the afternoon. 

You have a fleeting thought that it could be a dick pic- yeah it’s a little early for that kind of dumb fuckboy behaviour, and you’d previously thought that too, but Kim Taehyung proved you wrong last year. 

Yoongi isn’t a dick pic kind of guy anyway. No, he’s the guy that sends pictures of his hand around your throat that one night you let him take artsy photos of you two fucking on his film camera. The kind of guy that sends you audios of him jerking off and moaning your name that you listen to through your earphones in between classes because he knew you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. He’s the guy that drives you crazy because you can never quite predict what he’s gonna do next.

[9:23 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: you could have woken me you know dummy

[9:24 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: subways are gross in the morning

[9:25 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: i could have u know, driven u…

[9:26 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: cant really say no to u buttercup.

You don’t know why you’re heart’s beating so fast so you reprimand yourself for thinking with your pussy. Min motherfucking Yoongi is gonna be the death of you.

[consultingjedi]

#absolutely this#there is such a thing as 'waiting too long to explain basic lore'#or 'the character hasnt been fleshed out and is still expected to carry the episode'#like if you have to keep telling me 'just wait for it i promise it gets good' for 12 episodes straight thats kind of a big time commitment#for no payoff#but if the show is otherwise good and compelling characters for example doing stuff that isnt explained right away is good!#its called foreshadowing or setting the tone its important!#if the pov character is also confused then you being confused is on purpose!#'hey why didnt that flashback match what she said happened >:('#idk babes maybe she was lying?  its a pretty obvious mismatch im sure theyll explain it#(although if they dont explain)#(if they string you along with promises of foreshadowing and teasers of 'oh boy its gonna get good soon' and tantalizing mysteries)#and then they DONT deliver?#the worst#a waste of everyones time#if you the writer promise to explain something later you the writer had better already know what the answer is#(or at least have a general idea/a shortlist of options)#(like if a character gets a surprise tool that will help them later)#(you dont actually have to plan what it is before the reveal it can just be 'whatever is needed to escape this impossible situation i wrote'#but you need at least the illusion of a plan#and if its something really weird and plot relevant (like an incorrect flashback) you should really know#but yeah in general you shouldnt accuse plot points of being plot holes until the story is over#because until the story ends theres a chance that it will be explained (via @why-is-it-always-autumn)

I think people have truly lost any ability to be patient with storytelling.

‘I don’t understand this’ They’ll explain it if you wait.

‘I don’t like how this episode left things hanging’ There’s a continuation next week.

‘This character is flat’ Wait for them to be fleshed out.

So many of the complaints I see about shows lately are people being confused by things THAT THE SHOW WANTS YOU TO BE CONFUSED BY THATS THE FUN OF MYSTERY AND FORESHADOWING YOU ABSOLUTE GOBLINS THE MAIN CHARACTER IS ALSO CONFUSED AND THEYRE GONNA DO A BIG REVEAL AND EXPLANATION LATER IF YOU WOULD JUST FUCKING WAIT

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Imagine traumatized omega!Bucky panicking during his and Tony’s first sexual encounter. Self preservation instincts kick in and Bucky hurts Tony. Horrified, he tries to leave while Tony isnt at home, only to be caught in the doorway. Tony reassures Bucky and they have happy fluffy fulfilling sex and cuddle

CoffeeRun (catch your breath)

Thehell of it was, everything had been going wonderfully.Whatever Tony’s playboy reputation, he’d taken the whole courtingthing slowly and respectfully, with never so much as a hint that hewas feeling impatient to move things along. Hell, Buckywasthe one who’d been champing at the bit by the time Tony hadcautiously suggested that maybe Bucky might want to stay the night.

Andthat had been amazing, too. Tony had been a considerate and more thangenerous lover, checking on Bucky’s comfort level frequently andpouring out an unending torrent of praise and appreciation and -- oh,god, Bucky had forgottenthatsex could be good, that it could be a dance of joy and pleasure, andnot a distasteful necessity or a punishment to suffer. Bucky hadnearly wept with relief and gratitude, losing himself in the primalgive and take, delighting in the gentle touch of Tony’swork-calloused hands, the play of firm muscle under Tony’s skin,the warm and loving look in Tony’s eyes.

UntilTony knelt up and his shadow fell over Bucky’s face and he wastransported back there,and--

Everythingjolted, and Bucky was suddenly off the bed in a defensive crouch,panting through the fear and loathing, and Tony was... Oh, god,Tony was in a heap against the far wall, where Bucky had obviouslythrownhim.

“Ohgod,” Bucky breathed, and fell to his knees. “Oh god, Tony--”

Tonygroaned and rolled over. “Fuck,” he grated. “Ow. Okay, I’m...I’m okay, I think.” He climbed up onto his hands and knees,cautiously testing his limbs and joints. “Yeah. Just bruised, itlooks like.” He sat back on his heels and rubbed at his shoulder alittle, and then looked at Bucky. “You all right, sweetheart? Whathappened?”

Andthat, that right there. Tony’s obviously concern for Bucky, whenTonywasthe one who’d been hurt... That was when Bucky realized that hecould never, not if he lived to be a thousand years old, not if hewere sainted,never, everdeserveTony Stark.

[’ware the readmore!]

Buckygroped blindly behind him for the edge of the bed, dropped onto itand put his hands over his face, mind racing. “Tony, god, I’m so,so sorry.”

“Hey,sweetheart, no,” Tony said, and he came closer, close enough totouch, close enough that Bucky could feel the faint heat radiatingfrom his skin. “Obviously I triggered something, that’s not yourfault. Can you tell me what it was? Do you know?”

Buckyshook his head, shrinking down into himself.

“Allright, that’s okay. Can I-- Can I touch you?”

Buckyshook his head frantically, half-panicked at the very thought. IfTony touched him... If Tony touched him, Bucky would lose allresolve. He would just curl into the warmth of Tony’s embrace andtuck his head down against Tony’s chest to breathe in the spicy,metallic scent of him, and never let go.

“Okay,”Tony said gently. “Okay, I won’t, I’ll just--” He shuffledback a little, and Bucky missed that nearness immediately.

Youdon’t deserve that,Bucky reminded himself, and choked on a sob.

“It’sgoing to be all right,” Tony promised. “Honey? Is there... Isthere anything I can do for you? Anything at all?”

Opportunity.Buckythought fast, calculating times and distances. “It’s, uh. Gonnasound stupid,” he said.

“Anythingat all,” Tony repeated, earnest. “I just want to help you,sweetheart.”

“Iwant... I want one of those stupid sugar-and-cream lattes,” Buckysaid. “With, like, allthewhipped cream.” It was late; the line at the Starbucks wouldn’tbe very long, but it would be enough time for Bucky to gather histhings and leave.

Tonymight be sad for a while, but then he’d get over it. He’d findsomeone else, someone who could make him really happy.

“Areyou sure? I don’t want to leave you alone if you’re freakingout.”

Buckyswallowed. “I could use a couple of minutes,” he said softly.“To... to pull myself together.”

Tonyhesitated, then, “Okay. Okay, honey. You just... You rest. And I’llbe back as soon as I can, all right?”

Buckylistened as Tony pulled on some clothes and retrieved his wallet andkeys. The door opened. “It’s going to be okay,” Tony saidagain, and then he was gone.

Buckygave himself exactly two minutes to look around, to drink in everydetail, to make himself a memory of the place he’d been so happy.Appreciated and cherished. When his throat closed up and his eyesswam with tears, he dashed down to his apartment, snatched up aduffle bag, and began to stuff his things into it. Sturdy,nondescript clothes. Extra socks and underwear. A few good knives, asimple toolkit. He left his cell, but took his tablet. He emptied thecredit cards from his wallet, but kept the cash.

Thewhole time, a countdown was running in the back of his mind, keepingtrack of the time it would take Tony to get downstairs, out thelobby, to the Starbucks across the street, place the order. The timeit would take the barista to make it.

Hewould take the stairs down instead of the elevator, and go outthrough the doors on the far side of the building so he couldn’taccidentally run into Tony on the way. Once he was out of the city,he’d send Tony a message, explaining -- he didn’t want Tony tofeel guilty, or think Bucky had left under duress.

Heyanked the drawstring on the duffle shut and swung it up on hisshoulder, and the timer in the back of his head told him that Tonywould be just starting to cross the street back toward the Tower.Plenty of time for Bucky to duck into the stairwell.

Hetook one last, deep breath and didn’t let himself look aroundagain. He opened the door -- and nearly bowled Tony over.

“Whoa!”Tony stumbled back a little, wobbling a bit to keep from spilling thedrink in his hand. “Thought I’d try the new coffee place on the4th floor, so--” His eyes fell on the duffle and widened.“You’re... You’re leaving?”

Buckycouldn’t look at him directly. It was like staring at the sun.“Tony, I--”

“Fuck.It was really that unforgivable? I don’t even know what it was.”Tony’s eyes were pleading.

“Itwasn’t you,” Bucky said desperately. “It’s me, it’s all myfault.”

“Don’tyou dare,” Tony said. “I told you it wasn’t your fault, and I’mfine,it’s just a few bruises. I get worse every time I test out a flightsystem upgrade. Bucky, I... Look, honey, if you... if you don’twant me, then of course you have every right to go, but--”

“Don’t.”Bucky’s voice broke on a sob. “Of course I want you. How could Inot?”

“Thenwhy?” Tony begged. “At least... At least take a couple of minutesto drink your coffee, and tell me why.” He held out the coffee, andBucky’s hand curled around it on autopilot.

Healmost broke at the feel of the warmth seeping through the cup.“You’ll just try to talk me out of it.”

“Well,yes. I loveyou,honey, I don’t want you to go. If you don’t want to go, and Idon’t want you to go, then I don’t know why you should go.”

“Idon’t want to,” Bucky said. “I needto.”The smell of the coffee was tantalizing, and he tipped a swallow intohis mouth. “I hurtyou.”

Hecould feelTonygetting ready to brush it off again, but then Tony stopped, drew ashaky breath, and said, “Yes. A little. You’re right. But Iforgive you for that, sweetheart. I know you didn’t mean to.”

“Itdoesn’t matter if I meant it or not,” Bucky said. “I could doit again. And next time, you might not be so lucky.”

“I’mwilling to take the risk,” Tony said seriously. “You’re worthit, to me. You’re worth everything.”

Buckyshook his head, unable to answer.

“Look,”Tony said softly, “you’ve had a big shock.”

Surprisedirritation jolted through him, gave him enough fire to lift his headand glare. “This is not some ‘overemotional omega’ bullshitthing,” he growled. He hadn’t expected that from Tony, somehow.

Tonymet Bucky’s eyes spread his hands disarmingly. “I didn’t sayanything about you being an omega,” he pointed out. “Just thatyou had a shock, which dumped a lot of excess adrenaline in yoursystem. And on top of that, your dopamine supply probably cut offfairly abruptly. That’s basic biochemistry, no gender orpresentation bias. And both adrenaline and dopamine are known toaffect mental state. For everyone,”he stressed again. “And those are only two major chemical shiftsthat took place, that I know of off the top of my head. There wereprobably a dozen or so smaller ones as well. I’m not a biochemexpert, and I definitely don’t know much about superserumbiochemistry. But I figure all that chemical wash is bound to messwith anyone’smentalstate.”

Hepaused, clearly waiting for a reaction. Bucky shrugged reluctantly.“I guess.”

Tonysmiled, just a little. “Okay, so what if... what if you stay, justfor a while, just for tonight. Finish your coffee, get your bloodsugar up a little, get your thoughts in order.” He lifted his handsa little higher. “No funny business, I promise. You can have thebed and I’ll sleep on the couch, if you want. And in the morning,if you still feel like you have to go, I won’t argue. But if you’lllet me, I’d like to at least make some arrangements for you. SoI’ll know you’re safe.”

Itwas calm and reasonable, and Bucky couldn’t bring himself to keeparguing. Not when he wanted so much to be able to stay. “All right.Just tonight.”

Tonyslumped in relief. “”Thank you.”

Buckystepped back inside, letting Tony follow him into the living room. Hedropped his duffle and sat on the couch, curled up into the corner,and tucked his knees up against his chest. Tony sat at the other end,clearly giving Bucky space.

Tonywatched, not speaking, as Bucky took sips of the coffee. The warmthof it seeped into him slowly, easing the tight, cramped feeling inhis stomach.

WhenBucky was halfway through the cup, Tony said, “Can you tell me whatyou’re thinking?”

“Youdeserve more,” Bucky whispered. “You deserve better.”

“Idon’t think so,” Tony said. “But even if I did, isn’t that mychoice to make? Whatever I deserve, I wantyou.”

“ButI’m broken.”

“So?So am I. So are all of us. Honey, if I could only date people whodidn’t have any problems, I’d go to my grave still single.”Tony tipped his head, considering. “Also, that would be prettyunfair to this theoretical betterperson,given my laundry list of issues and character defects.”

Buckyshrugged and didn’t answer. He finished the coffee, but held ontothe cup for a while, clutching it in his hands long after all thewarmth had leached out of it. After a while, Tony got up and wentinto the kitchen. He puttered around in there for a while, and whenhe came back out, he set a plate with a big sandwich next to Bucky onthe couch. “I was getting hungry,” he said, and held up his ownsandwich in demonstration.

Buckywasn’t hungry, but he set the coffee cup aside and picked up theplate to be polite. He took a bite, and all of a sudden was ravenous.He devoured the rest of the sandwich in short order, only realizingas he was licking mustard off his thumb that he was exhibiting thesort of behavior that his Ma might once have called appalling.He looked up sheepishly, but Tony was just watching him fondly.

“Plentymore in the kitchen if you want it,” Tony offered.

Buckyshook his head.

“Okayif we watch some TV?”

Buckyshrugged, and Tony picked up the remote.

Buckywatched the TV mostly because it was there; he wasn’t really payingattention. Every so often, he’d sneak a surreptitious glance atTony, bathed in the bluish light of the screen and blinking sleepily.Once, Bucky caught Tony looking at him,brow wrinkled with worry, but Tony didn’t say anything, just smileda little and went back to watching the show.

Thenext time Bucky looked over, Tony was slumped into the corner of thecouch, eyes shut and breathing shallow. Bucky looked more obviously,then, tracing with his eyes the sweep of eyelashes against Tony’scheek, the laugh lines and crow’s feet, the tumble of hair againstthe back of the sofa.

Buckytugged the throw off the back of the couch and spread it out overTony’s legs and torso. Then he tucked himself back into the cornerand watched Tony sleeping until his own eyelids grew too heavy tohold open.

Buckycame awake all at once, on high alert, like he hadn’t done for morethan a year.

Tonywas no longer sleeping at the other end of the couch. In fact, hewasn’t in the room at all. The empty coffee cup was gone, too, aswas the sandwich plate. The blanket had been folded and draped overthe back of the sofa. His duffel had been moved, and was now leaningagainst the coffee table in plain sight. On the table was a foldedpiece of paper.

Bucky,

Youwere sleeping so soundly I couldn’t bear to wake you up. I hopeyou’re feeling better, now that you’ve rested. I hope you’llreconsider your plans.

Ilove you. I will do whatever it takes to make you feel safe. Adifferent position, or something to wear, or a new cologne, or no sexat all. Anything.Including letting you go, if you really feel you need that. I madeyou that promise, and I’ll stand by it, even if I don’t want to.I added a couple of things to your bag that will hopefully makethings easier, if you still choose to go. I hope you don’t mind.

I’mhoping for a lot, aren’t I? Probably too much. But that’s whatyou give me, every day: hope.

Nomatter what you choose, I will always cherish the time we’ve beentogether.

Inlove, always,

Tony

HolyChrist, had he nearly thrown away the best thing that had everhappenedto him?

Buckyleapt to his feet and nearly tripped over the coffee table. Hestumbled halfway across the room, arms windmilling. He caught hisbalance and bolted for the stairs at a dead run.

Heflung himself into the workshop. “Tony!” It came out as awhispered scream, a hoarse cry of desperation.

ButTony was there, right in the middle of the room, he was thereandthen Bucky all but collided with him, falling into his warmth.“Tony...”

Tony’sarms were around him, then, holding him close. “I’m here,sweetheart,” Tony murmured, “I’m right here.”

“Tony,”Bucky gasped, half-sobbing. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No,”Tony soothed, stroking his hands down Bucky’s back. “Justhurting. We all do irrational things when we’re hurting.”

Buckyslid to his knees and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, pressedhis face into Tony’s stomach. “Alpha.”

Tonylet out a shuddering breath that Bucky felt rather than heard. Hepushed his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “Yes,” he vowed. “Youralpha, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Sothat’s forever, then.”

~ @27dragons

[solarianradiance]

hooo, boy, i would hate to be the highblood who decides to kill a couple humans for kicks, only to have some of the highest executioner coming after them with direct orders by HIC to make it slow and painful.

AE: Look! Its not my fauult, alright?! He refuused to perform the task that was given, ok?! Now help me suue the retailer and help me get a new one that isnt defective!!!

TG: Curious, and the task he refused to perform was I assume an artistic endeavor?+§500 Inquiry -§250 Highblood DiscountTotal: §46,250

AE: NO! I ordered him to PAIL ME while I recorded it! And when he refuused I had to assert my dominance over him like Chahuut told me when she let me borrow him to try ouut, and I accidentally chopped him in half! His beautifuul crimson paint was everywhere! It took my servants houurs to clean it uup!

TG: Wait, what?! You can do THAT with them!?-§250 Personal InquiryTotal: § 46,000

AE: Thats right, bitchboy, I needed him to help fuuel my drive to engage in my craft! He was gonna be my Muuse for while Chahuut was gone. Now huurry youur teal ass uup and get me a replacement, before my Moirail comes back from her pilgrimage!

AE: Chahuut’s gonna be so pissed with me when she finds ouut abouut what I did with her Huuman, im not even suure my papping will be enough to stop her!!!

TG: What an interesting development. I shall note this honestly rather juicy and tantalizing information in my personal file for later~-§1,000Total: §45,000

TG: But either way, we seem to have a very solid case for replacing a faulty product. Now if you would just sign the paperwork and pay your fee, I would be more than gleeful in assisting your procurement of compensation. +§5,000 Seal the DealTotal: §50,000

AE: Pay?! Fuuuuuuck no! Im not paying for youur services! If Chahuut comes home and finds her pleasure pet dead, shes gonna rampage and I’m not gonna get in her way.

TG: Not paying!?! Well, then this situation sounds like your problem now, n-

AE: And I might juust tell a lil lie abouut how youu came along and did some kinky stuuff with him youurself and then had him killed in order to silence him.

AE: Did I mention my Moirail is a fuucking Subjuuggalator?

TG: OH! …Well, in that case, in light of the circumstances, I may change my payment plan to maintaining my current status of living.-§50,000 for wanting to liveTotal: §0 (Special Note: FUCK)

AE: Youu’re God damn right!

AE: Now get to work youu fuucking legal parasite, my girlfriend doesen’t deserve this shit!

AE: Oh and can youu by some chance get uus several replacements? 

AE: Heard that the more youu hook uup, the better it gets!~

TG: Hmmm… is that so? Perhaps I will attempt to procure additional product then. But no guarantee’s, I have to call in a few payments as it is anyways.

AE: Fuuck yes! A harem of Muuses of my very own, now I’ll never be withouut exotic passions to inspire me~~~♥♠♦♣

===

[k-renne]

WHERE LOYALTIES LIE

ONE

A/N: This contains major TLJ spoilers! Please only read if you’ve seen the movie, if you haven’t - come back later it’ll be waiting for you. Was it mistake to write a new fic during finals, maybe so but I don’t care (i’m sorry the gif isnt great im trying)

link to next chapter

Summary: Kylo Ren has finally freed himself from the past, and has now become the supreme leader, with that comes the freedom to have something he’s wanted for a long time. He brought you with him from the Jedi temple for a reason, because he didn’t want you to die. To protect you, he kept his true feelings for you buried deep within him and hidden, as you grew to know him as a hard master.

Panic coursed through your veins, you knew better than anyone that Kylo could make impulsive decisions.

“Kylo what have you done?” You burst into his quarters. For the first time in a while, you were afraid, very afraid. You just knew he had something to do with this.

“Old things must die Y/N, you should know that by now,” Kylo stepped closer to you, much closer than you would have expected. You still weren’t used to seeing him without a mask, his stare was so intense, so powerful that it made you feel weak. There was a certain fire in his eyes, a hunger brought on by victory.

“And Y/N, from now on you must address me as Supreme Leader,” Kylo steps closer, and you shiver.

“Yes Supreme Leader,” You straighten, trying to correct your mistake. A surge of arousal courses through Kylo’s veins, emboldening him for his next move.

“Take off your mask,” He commands in that rich honeyed voice of his.

You complied, stray locks falling in front of your face as you lift the metal over your head. Kylo took a deep breath, he had not seen your face in a long time and he had almost forgotten how beautiful it was. “Perfect,” He purred.

Kylo was looking at you a certain way, different from before and it made you feel like you were on fire. You looked down as you felt your face go red, unable to meet his eyes any longer.

But he wasn’t having that, in fact he was relishing in your flustered reaction – absolutely basking in it. He could do so many things with that pretty blushing face; he couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from his lips at the dirtiness of his own thought. Such a pretty face for a pretty girl, meant to be ruined by my hand.

He took your chin in his gloved hand, examining your face carefully and forcing you to meet his gaze. His hand slid up to cup your cheek and his gaze softened, “Y/N, don’t let your trust falter, I will give you more than you could ever dream of then with Snoke.”

“But the resistance-“ You let your fear speak for itself.

“Will be crushed, in due time.” He caressed your cheek.

“Kylo-“ You sucked in a breath.

“I have something to discuss with you later, I want you to stay here,”

“In your quarters?”

“Yes, you need to rest,”

“But Supreme Leader I-“

“Rest.” Kylo interrupts you. “And if you don’t I will find out,” He warns. When he left the room you sighed.

You didn’t know what was going to happen to you, if Kylo was going to kill you like he had with others from his past or give you a role that you weren’t ready for. And what was that just then? He had never done anything like that before, even when he used to go as Ben he had always been distant almost cold towards you.

Despite his distance, you admired the man. He had the strength with the force that you could only dream of, you still felt like a novice in comparison to his skill level. Now, he had truly proven how powerful he was and you were afraid. At the same time, you felt a sense of pride at his victory and that you had chosen to follow the right person.

You wished to be with him now, by his side and probably in battle with the resistance. It didn’t feel right to be ‘resting’ in a time like this, but Kylo was the Supreme Leader now and you dared not go against him. You just wondered why he wanted to stay behind, usually he always put you in the front lines and in the center of action.

Something had changed in him with you, but you didn’t know what.

It was the middle of the night when Kylo returned, exhausted with defeat. He was welcomed with the pleasant sight of you in his room, fast asleep at his desk. The steady rise and fall of your form brought him a sense of calm, he was relieved that you were safe.

He wanted to go to you, take you and rest you on his bed as he knew the desk was not a suitable place for you to sleep. But for now he needed a moment, and a shower.

You didn’t wake until Kylo came out of the shower, opening your eyes to see him still dripping and only in a towel. Your eyes widened as you realized you were still in his room, you felt like you didn’t belong here. You got up and tried to sneak out of the room as he searched in his drawer for some clothes. You couldn’t even look on him, you felt completely on fire. You felt ashamed, you shouldn’t be feeling this way towards the Supreme Leader. You just hoped he hadn’t sensed your desire.

“Just where are you going?” Kylo asked you.

“I need to get back to my room, I don’t want to disturb your rest Supreme Leader,” You rushed out, looking at the floor to avoid seeing his bare chest. Still, you snuck a quick glance, mouth parting as your heart race. Just looking at that wall of muscle made you feel like he was going to swallow you whole, and you almost wanted him to. You wanted to feel like it was like to be under someone so powerful.

Kylo smirked at you, enjoying the lust rolling off of you in waves. Oh he had so many fun plans for you. He had been waiting for this for so long, and although he was almost desperate just to have you he had to be patient. He had earned your admiration, but now he wanted your love. Respect wasn’t enough for him anymore.

“You don’t need to call me Supreme Leader in private, unless I say otherwise,” His eyes glitter with dark promises. In one stride he’s a foot away from you, blocking you from the door. “Stay,” He says softly.

You can feel his pain when he says that, and you know then that he needs you here. “Okay,” You murmur.

Kylo hums in approval of your decision, “I will get you something more comfortable to wear.” From his drawers Kylo pulls out a black silk nightgown, finer than anything the First Order would give for sleep garments.

“Why do you have that?” Your brows furrow in confusion.

Kylo didn’t want to tell you that he had gotten it for you, after seeing it one day and wishing that he could see you in it. He didn’t want to scare you off with the intensity of his feelings, of which you had no awareness of.

“Someone left it behind,” He lied, there was no one but you.

“Oh,” You barely concealed your disappointment. Though Kylo was pleased by your reaction, the feeling of your hurt stung. Someday he’d explain that it was all for you. You take the nightgown, trying to hide your distress of having to wear something that someone who had slept with Kylo had worn.

But the way that Kylo looks at you when you come out makes you forget about the other woman, the way he looks at you makes you feel like you’re the only woman in the galaxy. Your face is flush as you realize that you haven’t revealed this much skin in front of him for a long time and you were a child then, now you had matured.

Kylo had underestimated just how much you had changed over the years, though he remembered the many nights where he hid his hand under the sheets at the sight of your developing body it was nothing compared to how tantalizing you looked in the black lace. He had wished he put on more than just his tight briefs, as they did nothing to conceal his hard on. He was fairly certain you had noticed with the pink in your cheeks, but knew you’d be to afraid to say anything.

You were beginning to wonder what changed to make him look at you this way, he had never shown such passion towards you. Normally he was cold and shut off, or angry.

Despite how much he longed to tear the dress off of you, Kylo could clearly see the fatigue in your eyes and he was feeling that even more so. He’d rather be more awake so that he could enjoy every second of ravishing you. “Come now, it’s time for rest,” Kylo gently led you to his bed, hand just brushing over your lower back.  

You looked at him with uncertainty, before he pulled back the sheets for you and gestured for you to get in. He pulled them back up to cover you, which was a surprise. It was such a simple and kind action that you did not expect, you didn’t understand this sudden display of care. The bed dipped as Kylo laid down besides you and you could feel the warmth radiating off him, which you were thankful for as the night gown wasn’t warm enough for space.

Kylo turned to face you, and the reality came crashing down that you were in bed with him. The feeling that you shouldn’t be here returned. “Don’t be afraid Y/N, you’re safe here,” Kylo reassured you, lightly brushing his knuckles over your cheek. You shivered at his touch and subconsciously inched closer to him as he was a source of warmth. Pretty girl you heard Kylo’s voice say in your head, you thought you were hearing things.

You and Kylo gazed at one another until your eyes fell shut, this was the beginning of something new.

[tumblunni]

“SO WHY DO U WANT 2 HUG THIS TRASH GRANDPA, BUNNI” post

Okay, i figured since, well, that one goddamn wifi event is That One Goddamn Wifi Event, I may as well make a short post about it so people who weren’t able to see it can understand how it fuckin Blew My Mind when I was a teenager and plunged me into the fandom hell for the most obscure unloved jerkass grandpa who may or may not even be the guy this vague tantalizing mystery plot point is even about, and AAAA

So yeah here we go, transcript of the event text (thanks, Bulbapedia!) and some general summary of the context of who da fuk dis Charon is, and hopefully maybe at least one more person shall now understand this tiny fandom for a tiny gremp!

~The Context Of Charon~

(skip all this if you just wanna get to the wifi event transcipt)

If you haven’t played DPPT and don’t plan to: The villain team of Sinnoh is Team Galactic, a bunch of silly guys in space costumes with a rad jazz theme tune and a surprising level of competance in a terrifying plan to erase the universe and replace all emotion with infinate silence. Also, interesting moral ambiguity cos most of them are either oblivious or outright good, just being manipulated by the team’s super scary badass leader Cyrus who’s led them to believe they’re going to ‘fix’ the world to end all sadness for everyone. This weird complexity behind goofy nonsense hair people is what got me hooked on them as my faves!

So who is Charon in particular? Diamond and Pearl got a third version called Platinum that fixed a bunch of glitches and unfinished graphics and expanded upon the rushed endgame, etc. It also (for some reason) added one single extra member to Team Galactic, as seen here on the second furthest from the right. Charon is a grumpy grandpa and he literally does nothing in the plot. Its really confusing why he was actually added, he only gets more than two lines of dialogue if you pursue a secret sidequest waaaaay in the postgame, and he still gets like.. SIX lines of dialogue and not even a boss fight. Poor dude barely exists in this game! So what’s weird is that this wifi event kinda contains more dialogue for him than he ever got in the main game, and it at least gives him a purpose for being here- to introduce the new transformations for Rotom that were added in this wifi event. But it just seems pretty badly handled cos he never even appears in the event and there’s a lot of fan debate that it isnt even meant to be him, blablabla. And he still doesn’t do anything UNLESS you get this wifi event, which is really unfair and probably contributes a lot to his unpopularity, okay sorry I’m starting to ramble...

Basically, all you need to know is that Charon is a grumpy grandpa who does literally nothing in the plot.

The Establishing Of The Grump Gramp This is... kinda necessary to know why this thing hit me so hard in the emotions? This is why I don’t think it would work as well if Mystery Wifi Event Flashback Person actually ISNT Charon. All we see of Charon in his VERY FEW non-optional dialogues is that he is vain, cynical, pompous, greedy and for some reason obsessed with talking like a complete tool. And he’s SO MUCH this that he doesn’t even have any loyalty to his fellow villains, he exists to be like.. The More. Everyone else is some degree of honorable dude doing what they do cos they believe in a good cause, Charon is that one teammate that’s too evil even for the rest of them. Or, like, at least too petty? He’s an eternally incompetant comic relief dumbass who never even has enough imagination to do anything genuinely evil, he’s somehow less dangerous than his morally ambiguous teammates! He’s just sitting here like ‘fuq yeh i luv bein evil cos i can swipe the pocket change outta dis vending machine’, then somehow it falls on him and shatters his old man spine. Meanwhile his boss is being all ‘I want to make a world of smiles!’ *collapses the universe into a black hole and literally summons poke-satan* So ANYWAY the relevant point is that you can see why he’s THE SINGLE MOST UNEXPECTED person to suddenly get a sympathetic backstory!

Some transcript of his tiny non-wifi-event dialogues for comparison of how much of an absolute prick this man be:

” It seems quite obvious to me, Charon, the genius even the boss recognizes.” "Humph. Saturn and even Cyrus fall to a mere child... Perhaps another option needs to be considered. One befitting the genius of Charon!" [This is basically his only dialogue in a normal game run, aside from expositioning a few things that were said by other people in the previous version.]

Postgame optional dungeon text:

“What do they see in Cyrus? Immature, overthinking buffoon. He goes through the trouble of assembling Team Galactic for what? Ultimately, he destroys his own creation for his ludicrous vision. It's no thanks to him that I have to struggle with the pieces." “The young can live with their dreams. I prefer to remain firmly in reality. And for that, money is paramount.” “ With this Magma Stone, I will awaken the legendary Heatran! I will control the volcano's eruptions to extort money by the millions! Fear me! “ [cue him being defeated offscreen in a cutscene by someone else] "...Uh, what are you saying? I know nothing! Extorting with Heatran? Merely the blathering of this harmless old man! All said in jest! Besides, among Team Galactic's Commanders, I was the most junior..." [Seriously, you don’t even get to see what Heatran even is! its just an optional scene to go back after he’s gone and catch the thing.]

So yeah he does literally nothing and all we know is that he’s a jerk and he betrays his evil team only to fail horribly at being his own villain also that he has a Rather Specific Speaking Pattern, which will come up later in linking him to that wifi event BUT ANYWAY literally the rest of the team walks away and leaves him to his fate cos he’s such a jerk literally Jupiter says he’s ‘not fun anymore’ literally a man dressed in a boulder costume bitchslaps him with a giant frog its like the biggest fuckin smackdown and the player didn’t even need to participate, he just self-destructed mid cutscene farewell two paragraphs of dialogue granddad, we will probably never remember you ever

B U T

~ The Transcipt Of The Fabled Wifi Event ~

Extra context: this was probably the worst handled of all the horribly handled wifi events. Makes sense at least, sinnoh was like the beta test for whether such a thing could actually be possible in this series. i’m glad they’re more accessable nowadays, but what sucks is that now we don’t seem to even get as many Actual Events, instead they’re just a plain gift of a pokemon via trade without a fun cutscene :( But yeah it was only accessable for a one month period when the game first released, and the item you got in the vent didnt have enough clues about where and how you were meant to use it in order to find the secret room, unless you already knew it was connected to Charon.

The item for the event is the Secret Key, which is somehow charmingly the least secret secret of all time

You take this to one random spot on a random wall in one of two separate Team Galactic HQs in this game, and the whole damn wall vanishes to reveal Charon’s Secret Lab/The Rotom Room

Here, you can turn Rotom into any of its new transformations. And then, completely optional, is a hidden backstory for this one terrible granddad! The notebook on the bottom desk explains how the transformations work, gameplay-wise, and also ‘hey this secret lab belongs to me specifically, Charon’ The notebook up to the top right on top of the box which you might not have noticed, and might have assumed would just contain more boring tutorials? Hoo boy dude, 99% OF THE EVENT DIALOGUE is in that thing! And you’d think a second hand flashback entirely through longwinded narration would be terrible but man somehow it really just worked for me. RIP my soul, cause of death: this

SO LETS GET GOING TO THE MEAT OF THIS POST, MY FRIEND

If you don’t feel like scrolling thru this textdump, I’d reccommend Chuggaaconroy’s excellent lets play of platinum, where he read out the journal here. (16:25, talks about the various wifi event failures first.) Or if you watch this earlier episode (17:15) you can see the whole mini-dungeon where you can catch Rotom in the first place, which isn’t necessary to understand all this but its still super cool. If you do feel like scrolling, here have the appropriate music, or the appropriate music: anime orchestrated version

+++

"It's an old notebook. There's no telling how old it is."

Our encounter was a sudden one. It was when I found my toy robot, one that I had earlier misplaced. At that instant, a Pokémon startlingly emerged from the lawn mower's motor! Clutching my robot, I stared, transfixed by the peculiar Pokémon.

The Pokémon hovered in the air, held aloft by a power unseen. As if curious and unafraid of my presence, it floated toward me. Crackling sounds accompanied it, as if from static electricity in the air. Remarkably, it seemed the Pokémon was the source of this power! In alarm, I flinched, certain that my face would be subjected to a shock. Much to my surprise, the Pokémon seemed to favor me with a smile.

Finally, I came to realize that the Pokémon only wished to be friends. I have decided to name this most wondrous Pokémon 'Rotom.' Simple though it may be, Rotom emerged to me from the motor of a lawn mower. Motor and Rotom... Surely the link is obvious?

Rotom is a Pokémon that is simply sensational. The fact that it can turn invisible is simply the beginning. What makes Rotom unique is its ability to enter and operate machinery!

Rotom and I became fast friends. We were perpetual companions. The electricity from its body forbade contact, however. We could not touch, let alone hug or hold hands, but we cared not. For we were bonded on a much deeper, incorporeal level.

A feeling of mischief got the better of me one day. Seeing Rotom hovering, I decided to startle it--normally I would not. Perhaps frightened, Rotom discharged power beyond its usual range. I fell, stunned, into the arms of unconsciousness...

When I came to, to my horror I realized that Rotom had disappeared. I searched high and low for my friend in dismay and desperation. 'Don't chastise yourself. The fault is mine. No harm done. Let us play as we always have.' Though my words poured out, my friend could not be found to hear them...

My search for Rotom carried me far from home. It was in the town's rubbish heap that I again found my old toy robot. Curiously, our eyes met, then the robot waved a hand as if in greeting. I knew then that I had found my lost friend. I ran to it and hugged Rotom tight, talking on and on.

The robot's eyes lit up happily as I held it. I'm certain that, within it, Rotom was emitting lots of electricity. Somehow, I felt I could understand Rotom's thoughts better than before. Also, I realized that we would remain friends throughout our lives...

"The notebook ends with this page..."

+++

+++

And this is his one and only trading card, and the biggest canon confirmation that he was indeed intended to be the mysterious author of Eighteen Pages Of How Much I Love To Hug My Friend Don’t tell me he doesn’t become INFINATELY more interesting with this knowledge!

Fuckin hell I would give my left foot to see an expanded plot upon this man’s secret good side seriously HOLY SHIT would you ever have imagined he cared about anyone, let alone THIS MUCH? Just sorry seriously i could talk for hours about this aaa dear god...

Oh and another minor transcript, you can get some dialogue from Rowan the first time you transform Rotom into one of its new forms. Its kinda interesting cos it gives some more Vague Potential Lore that inspires a cool headcanon that him and Charon might have known each other in the past? Cos he seems to know at least some details of that hidden journal...

"A Pokémon that slips into electric appliances, you say... Hmm... That is somewhat off from what I've heard about it. Hmm... This is what I've heard. Long ago, there was a Pokémon that merged with a toy robot. Should that Pokémon be recognized as a new species or not... Debates over the issue were about to start when they were rendered moot. The very topic of discussion--the Pokémon-infused robot--disappeared..."

Also that leads into another possible less-heartwarming interpretation of the whole thing that is actually EQUALLY interesting and ALSO makes Charon way more deep as a character! The idea that maybe this heartwarming thing is completely in the past, and nowadays he actually is 100% a horrible prick. Cos I mean, the one rotom you can find in the game is in that mysterious abandoned fancy old house, which is pretty heavily implied to be the notebook-writer’s childhood home where they met it. You can find a fragmented extra notebook page which seems to be the day before the start of the entries you can read in Charon’s lab. It says "Som...hing so pecu...r shou... make off ...ith the mot..." , which was confirmed to be "Something so peculiar should make off with the motor..."  aaaaaallll these years later in an episode of Pokemon Generations. So there’s the interpretation that maybe this rotom you can catch is the same one described in the journal, which makes you wonder why its all alone here if Charon supposedly cared about his friend so much. Perhaps he really was a decent guy once, but when he grew up to be such an evil prick he abandoned his pokemon? or maybe it saw what he became, and ran away? or maybe some other sort of mysterious thing happened to cause them to become separated? There’s so many potential interpretations of this whole thing, aaaa!! Why was such a tantalizing plot point wasted on a super hidden wifi!!!

But of course I like the version where trash gramp has one shred of redeemability in his soul and then hypothetically you could have a sidequest to reunite him with his tiny tangerine friend and convince him of the error of his ways and then EVERYONE CAN HUGS AGAIN

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

srsly its got the power to make me never stop thinking about this damn wifi event for all these fuckin years giv grandpa justice, dammit

[trendingnewsb]

5 Bizarrely Specific Things Every Sci-Fi Movie Does

Anything is possible in science fiction! You can explore the future, delve into the past, chronicle alien civilizations, and probe the endless possibilities of time and space. The genre is limited by nothing but human imagination. Unfortunately, human imagination seems like it was depleted sometime in the 1970s, because no matter what obscure corner of the galaxy you warp to, some things never change. Like how …

5

The Only Design Philosophy In The Future Is “More Angles!”

Coming up with a new sci-fi aesthetic is tough. Luckily, there’s a shortcut that does about 80 percent of the work: Add some unnecessary angles! Tilt half of it, chop off a corner — it doesn’t matter how you make those angles happen, or what they might possibly be good for. Everything in the future has at least seven unnecessary zigzags.

Universal TelevisionThis isnt paper; this is space paper. You can tell because they cut the corners off, as is space custom.

Most cars in modern sci-fi movies are nothing but contemporary designs with all the curves replaced by straight lines. Here’s one from the original Total Recall that is so much from the future that you might almost say it looks stupid and ridiculous.

TriStar Pictures“WAOW, LOOK AT DAT IDIOT CAHHH. DIS IS A VERY DUMB FUTAH.”

The 2017 Ghost In The Shell remake took the same approach, and wound up with a “futuristic car” that more resembles a 1983 Datsun.

Paramount PicturesAnd made less at the box office than a 1983 Datsun is worth.

After 2025, all windows are uselessly weird trapezoids. Here’s what the poor bastards in Empire Strikes Back have to look through when they want to see outer space:

LucasfilmBetter check your blind spot. All 26 of them.

Jupiter Ascending also knows that good science fiction is all about inconvenient angles and unnecessary corners.

Warner Bros. PicturesIt is the year 2060. Window manufacturers have gone mad, and the whole world suffers.

Here’s a cockpit from Prometheus, apparently designed by a drunken spider:

20th Century FoxThe script was written the same way.

In the future, we will invent six brand-new, never-before-seen angles, and we will use them everywhere. From the landscaping in Star Trek …

Paramount Pictures

… to the hallways in Star Wars …

Lucasfilm

… to the maniacally uncomfortable tables in Guardians Of The Galaxy.

Marvel Studios

It’s not clear if this is all some fashion trend or the side effect of cosmic radiation on the human brain. All we know is that no one in the future can stack anything, and it takes 15 hours to measure a room for carpet.

4

All Aliens Eat Bugs

Here on Earth, we eat a wide variety of food. In fact, whole industries have been built around preparing, packaging, marketing, and ultimately ingesting food. Seriously, if you haven’t heard of food, you should Google it. People go nuts for this stuff. But in science fiction, aliens eat insects, grubs, or worms. That’s it. Aliens might have similar dinnerware and mealtime rituals, but they almost always eat swarming plates of live bugs. Take, for instance, the Klingons. They’re a proud warrior race that should probably be eating seared Gorn ribeye for every meal, but instead they sit down to bowls of worms, like a bunch of chickens. They gussy them up like they’re some kind of delicacy called Gagh, but look at it. It’s worms.

CBS TelevisionThe Klingons might be brave warriors, but they eat like gullible Earth catfish. TuHmoH!

In Babylon 5, a series for nerds who think Star Trek is too approachable, everyone’s favorite food is Spoo. It’s a bunch of cubed worms, and the best way to eat it is when it’s very old. If you’d like to read more about Spoo, please find the angriest comment below describing how we obviously didn’t do our research, or we would know only the Centauri prefer their Spoo to be aged.

Warner Bros. TelevisionAnd now try new Spoo: Chocolate Starlight!

If you’re from outer space, all sustenance comes from slimy, wriggling worms. Here on our planet, we chop and saute and burrito, but aliens find that ridiculous. Here is the alien food from the Fallout series: a sloppy-ass worm on a metal tray.

Bethesda SoftworksYou couldn’t slice that thing over a salad?

In Titan A.E., the chef, who is himself a beetle monster, is inexplicably proud to offer up Akrennian Beetle Sashimi, which is just a writhing trough of insect larva. That’s like going to a human buffet and finding it filled with screaming baby monkeys. In other words, tantalizing and delicious.

20th Century Fox“No offense, chef, but … are these, like, your kids?”

3

Everything In The Future Is Asian (Except The Cast)

If there’s a single unifying element in modern science fiction, it’s this: Asian stuff is sick as hell. From the 1980s on, we pretty much decided that any sci-fi future looks like somebody opened a Radio Shack and a Benihana in the same space. In every dork’s favorite failed show, Firefly, they live in a future so Asian-influenced that people curse in fluent Mandarin, and yet none of them seem to know any Chinese people.

In Blade Runner, the entirety of Los Angeles is a grimy, rain-drenched Little Tokyo. This makes a bit more sense than LA becoming a grimy, rain-drenched El Salvador, but it still has a lot of pagodas and geisha for a multicultural cyber metropolis.

Warner Bros. PicturesNothing says “Future LA” like seventh-century Japan?

And when they rebooted Total Recall to be less fun and more terrible, they decided that “the future” meant an Asian-style parasol in the hand of every extra.

Columbia Pictures“I don’t even think it’s raining.” — Colin Farrell

Even Demolition Man, a movie so stupid it imagined Pizza Hut and Taco Bell would be the food of the future (when it will clearly be Carl’s Jr. and Kenny Rogers Roasters), made sure that even after all culture has been homogenized, kimonos will hang on.

Warner Bros. PicturesAn outfit that says, “My anime pillow wasn’t as durable as I was promised,” and a haircut that says, “Let me speak to your manager.”

All of this would barely be worth mentioning, except that none of these series have an Asian person as anything but an extra, for the most part. It’s as if every sci-fi universe shares a common history wherein all the important Asians were wiped out and the architects of their genocide said, “Oooh, but let’s keep their furniture and robes!”

2

Artificial Humans Always Involve Some Kind Of Milky Liquid

If you see an android in a sci-fi movie, then it’s almost guaranteed that sucker is somehow dependent on white goo. It’s as if robot scientists said, “Look, we can build you a perfect replica of a person, but it only works if we fill it with satin finish house paint.”

In Westworld, the process of creating a host involves submerging an almost-complete body — full skeleton, developed muscles — into a vat of thick milky stuff. The production crew calls it “the skin dip,” and it’s a protein liquid that builds all of the body’s remaining tissues using sci-fi magic.

HBO“BEHOLD AND TREMBLE AT THE HORROR MILK HAS CREATED.” — The National Dairy Council

They probably got that from the original Ghost In The Shell (seen again in the live-action remake), wherein the final stage of the Major’s birth involves dipping her body into a vat of white liquid. Again, a mechanical skeleton monster goes in, and a sexy, sexy human comes out.

Paramount Pictures“Warning: Your sex robot will ship covered in a flaky layer of dried goo. And it won’t be the first time, amirite?” — Shell Instruction Manual

The Alien franchise also features human replicants and white goo. It’s just that this goo squirts out of them like a terrible milk truck accident any time they get hurt. We first saw it 1979, when Ash was torn apart in Alien.

20th Century FoxHe took it pretty well.

We saw it again in 1986, when Lance Henriksen got himself gutted in Aliens, and it happened more recently in 2017’s Alien: Covenant. Basically, any time someone makes a movie about human-like robots is a great time to be a white fluid salesman.

1

In The Future, There Will Be One Font To Rule Them All

Any fully realized sci-fi world contains many different societies, nations, and peoples. This should mean a huge variety in graphic design and typography, but apparently there will be a moment in our future when we all come together and decide that we need only one font: Eurostile.

If the future needs to say something, it does so in Eurostile. The font was originally created by an Italian designer in 1962, and it’s all sci-fi movies have needed since. Here are but a few of the universes which Eurostile has taken over, as well as a fun rhyme you can use to remember them all.

PixarIt’s the only font to survive the apocalypse of Wall-E …

Universal Pictures… and its used to describe Jaegers as they battle kaiju near Bali.

TriStar PicturesIt’s the default web font in Johnny Mnemonic‘s time …

TriStar Pictures… and it beat out Jokerman and Wingdings to be the font of District 9.

Universal PicturesIt’s used on the boats docked at Jurassic World …

Orion Pictures… and you can see it in RoboCop, right behind this mean girl.

TriStar PicturesYou may not remember Elysium, but it too used that font …

TriStar Pictures… and so did Total Recall, on every subway and restaurant.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Sony Pictures ClassicsThe Lego Movie used it, as well as Moon …

Walt Disney Pictures… Eurostile even showed up in the Big Hero 6 cartoon.

Universal PicturesIn Back To The Future, it made energy from waste …

20th Century Fox… and you can spot it in Alien 3, if you have no fucking taste.

PixarYou’ll spot Eurostile in The Incredibles if you have a keen eye …

Warner Bros. Pictures… and in Edge Of Tomorrow, as you watch Tom Cruise die.

TriStar PicturesStarship Troopers used it too. Would you like to know more?

CBS TelevisionThen watch Star Trek: Discovery, you font-hungry whore!

Nathan Kamal lives in Oregon, where he writes. He co-founded Asymmetry Fiction for all your fiction needs.

For more poetry like that, check out Even Superheroes Have Bad Days.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_25309_5-bizarrely-specific-things-every-sci-fi-movie-does.html

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[alloravondoom]

i know its irrational but sometimes when my mood crashes my npd makes me second guess everything about every relationship i have and had and makes me wonder if the people in my life dont like me as much as i think they do and i start brainstorming ways to get everyone to like me again and i spiral in what im sure is just me being over emotional and hyper aware 

its the worst when i feel like im annoying. its so bad. i like to tell myself that im being irrational to think that but for all i know people could be being nice to me out of pity so i have no real way of gauging it

i feel bad for that too. constantly gauging people. im constantly micromanaging people like theres some sort of friendship meter above their heads for? what exactly? to make people like me sure of course but what else? i dont think i know yet but i know that i keeps me at a distance. an arms length with almost everyone. my worst fear is being abandoned yet i do this to myself everytime why? am i afraid that if i grow attached and im left ill have nothing? am i looking for someone to peel back my layers and see me as i am? 

i dont recognize myself in a mirror i havent in years. i dont recognize myself in pictures either. what do i look like? im vain. i hope im beautiful. but if i was then why do i hide?

im so afraid to bear my soul. maybe its because i dont know what will happen if i do. even with the person i love. im afraid of doing too much. im afraid of speaking everything on my mind. im afraid i might scare them away with how much i love them but i dont know why. why is my love so frightening? or maybe thats not it. maybe im not afraid ill chase them off with my love. maybe im the one whose afraid of it. i dont know. 

this disease is. encompassing. i wish i could make it go away. even on days where it isnt so bad i wonder if im getting better or if im just that good at faking it. i know im a compulsive liar but surely im not so brilliant.

whats worse is that that thought excites me. that i really could lie about anything. that i really could make something real through words alone. 

maybe thats why i cant see myself. im so good at lying that i dont know whats real. i really dont. whats real? a tantalizing thought. i hope i realize it one day so that i do not get so trapped in my webs that i become cocooned as well

 this isnt me talking anymore. its my narcissism. the part that loves to lie. or maybe this is me. the me thats been hiding. the claws of delight sink into my shoulders as i ponder this and i feel my heart hammer as a shallow breath sounds in my ear, watching my words. listening to my thoughts. is that me? 

i dont know. but i hope it leaves one day. i think. im not sure of that either? ive always wanted a friend but i love justice and i love good will. i cannot have both and hope to be the kind and gentle person i try to be.

maybe one day my narcissism will no longer plague me. and i can love freely. and i can be at ease. i make my heart lonely when all i want is to be with anothers.

the breath in my ear hitches. my narcissism does not have a heart. you can never truly be my friend. in time i hope you retract your claws and slow your breathing. wish me farewell as i learn to love and never return.

ill still love you. ill still love the me that is not me. ill still dream of could have been. but what could have been cannot be. and this love is tainted. let me love purely please? 

let me be free.

[tumblunni]

OH MAN HOLY SHIT IM FINALLY GETTING TO READ THE NEXT VOLUME OF SHOULDER-A-COFFIN KURO

man it was really fucking sweet that  bunch of friends the travellers made in earlier chapters helped nurse Kuro back to health after [the spoily bad thing] happened

and I TOTALLY FELL FOR the misdirect in the opening chapter! this series often has out-of-order flashbacks just casually thrown in, so i assumed this was them taking a break from the sad ‘will kuro be okay’ stuff to show us one of her pas adventrues, especially cos she was alone without nijiku and sanju. But NOPE this is her dream while she’s sleeping, and all the people she just helped move on to their next journey are actually all already dead and she was giving them hope for stuff they never really managed to achieve. Like HOLY SHIT when the last person she saw was a glimpse of an actual alive person and then she steps off the train and wakes up?? And you only realize it cos she says ‘But I thought his eyes were getting better’ about the last guy Kuro met, who had that head injury from the war, and its like ‘but he’s right there? why are you saying ‘I was too late’- OH GOD HOLY SHIT’. Like seriously, was he on the way to go home and died on the train and then she was there at the station and had to see it, after she’d waited for him for so long and just AAAAA. And like, if Kuro is briefly visiting the afterlife and having a choice to take the death train because she’s in this paralyzing moment of depression, is that why the lady was there too? Did Kuro accidentally save her from comitting suicide to be with him? Its really fuckin’ good luck that they were able to cross paths in this dreamworld and she could pass on his last words. But also its REALLY DEPRESSING that her telling him to ‘take the train home’ is like.. thats what he was trying to do when he was on the brink of death, and being unable to do it is why he stayed here waiting in this afterlife train station, hoping against hope that he’d somehow be able to actually see his hometown and his girlfriend again, when the only option he had was a far more depressing journey to take. So even though its good that kuro helped him be able to pass on instead of being in pain, but still, would he have actually been able to talk to his girlfriend if he’d waited just a few minutes more??? god this mysterious dream is so confusing and tantalizing aaaaaa it would be a really good way to kill my heart if we actually meet the girlfriend character in the real world later on and see how she’s getting her life back together after his death or if we meet more relatives of the dead folks we saw in that dream

ALSO its really good that Kuro is battling her suicidal inclinations now and actually feeling like she wants to live, because of these lil kids but at the same time its tragic cos she’s still got this deadly plague thats gonna kill her anyway, and its like.. having hope makes it hurt more and OH GOD the line about how she’s decided the new purpose of her journey is to ‘make a new path for them to follow when I’m gone’ she’s decided that instead of having to choose between them and her goal, its just gonna be that if she fails and ends up dying she just wants to have taught them enough to survive on their own afterwards. she could still feel her story was completed if it ends with her having given these kids a new life, even if she never finds out who the witch was or how to stop the curse. OH GOD I CRY SO MUCH FOR THIS WEIRD LITTLE FAMILY

and then OH MAN the mysterious flashback too! that was a good misdirect without even being a twist, sorta?? there’s no big revelation moment and knowing the thing doesnt really change anything, and honestly it makes me feel a bit ‘whoops i should have figured it out straight away’ lol Its a really cool way of delivering a stealth backstory for Sen! Cos we never saw his face in human form before, we kinda were expecting it to continue being shadowed or at least be revealed in some sort of actual reveal scene. but nope, we just get introduced to apparantly some new character who’s a loner prince everyone thinks is a vampire, and then WHOOPS it was sen all along! (also LOL DUDE YOU’LL BE A VAMPIRE IN LIKE FIVE SECONDS, DONT WORRY) And its so obvious in retrospect, we even see that he has a lil girl as his apprentice and he's like ‘just call me sensei, i dont want you to get attatched to me’. But she looks completely different to Kuro so at most I just thought ‘oh it’ll be some sort of analogy or moral to the main story or something’. And then seriously there is NO INSIGHT TO ANYTHING and no explanation of what happened to them or why, its just horribly shocking both to them and the audience. We just get some disconnected cute 4-koma adventures of flashback kuro and sen, revealing a little of how they first met, and then literally kuro just turns around the corner and the panels dissolve into horrifying shadowy hands that tear her apart as she begs sen not to touch her or he’ll be cursed too. AND IT JUST ENDS Like seriously, there wasnt even a STORY to the witch cursing them?? she just appeared in their house one day?? she was fuckin lurking in the library and cursed the first person she made eye contact with???? and sen got dragged into it too cos he was trying to save the poor kid, after all these panels of him being cynical jerk saying he doesn’t care about her, and just.. *SOB*

But actually, I’m wondering why his curse was so much different compared to the formula we’ve seen for every other case of it? its always been this one same disease that makes you rot apart into shadow stuff until you die. Why did he turn into 1000 bats instead? A random theory: maybe he actually did die, and this isn’t really the same curse as kuro’s, this is something that happened to him to save him. The first time we saw the curse in action was from that kid who innocently talked to the witch and wished to use magic too, so maybe it like.. actually is that? Maybe this curse is a literal granting of the wish, maybe this is how she passes on her powers and it just kills people who arent worthy, or something. So i dunno, maybe Kuro has some degree of witch magic locked away deep inside her rotting heart now, and she subconciously used it to save Sen’s life by cursing him with this different curse? that could be A Good Depressing Twist later, cos it could mean that if Kuro gets cured, Sen will die. And I mean, it would explain why Kuro doesnt know she has witch powers, maybe the constant upkeep of maintaining Sen’s spell is taking up all her energy, or something? We never get to see if Mo actually got her wish for magic powers in that terrifying flashback, we just see how she started dying of the shadow plague and then how Kuro found her on the last day of her life and they became friends and then HER LEGS FUCKING FELL OFF AND CRUMBLED INTO DUST AND HER EYE FELL OUT OF HER HEAD and then kuro’s last scrap of optimism died and she decided to carry Mo’s coffin forever out of certainty that the curse would indeed kill her, her quest would fail, and she’d better be prepared for her own funeral And like, when i first read that chapter I thought that this was where Kuro got the curse?? I thought it was contagious from touch or something and by giving Mo a bit of peace on her deathbed she’d picked it up from her. (Though that wouldnt explain why nobody’s ever got infected from interacting with kuro throughout the rest of the story, so it was a bit confusing.) But now we know that apparantly Kuro got the disease way earlier and Mo was just the closest clue she’s ever got to finding the witch again, and a horrible vision of the future that will await her when her curse finishes its course. It makes the whole chapter way more depressing, cos you know the whole time she was suffering from the same disease and she just didnt wanna ruin Mo’s hope that she’d met some cool traveller who was totally gonna go on and live a long life of all the adventures she wanted to have. GODDDD THIS SERIESSSS

and okay seriously THE WORST BIT THAT DESTROYED ME is that we find out the evil witch who did this to both of them is actually the same person as the apaprantly good witch we saw in an earlier chapter who befriended those kids and had a badass retort to the asshole guy and just was really cool?? And its even more depressing if she isnt really evil at all and maybe somehow thinks what she’s doing is helping? she was really innocent in that first chapter and didnt seem to know much about humans. So like.. who did she meet? What did she do? Who taught her something very VERY wrong in the time between that flashback and now? is this just the result of some small shred of her old self left, her wanting to ‘help’ more children...? Cos actually it was kind of a big hint in that chapter, she said ‘i will give you one of my voices’ when she taught that kid how to read as ‘payment’ for him helping her learn what a ‘witch’ is, and that she can be a good one if she wants to. So I mean.. is this just her trying to more literally give part of herself to others to help them, not knowing that it’s hurting them, or maybe being so twisted now that she doesnt even care? ITS SO DEPRESSING! Its funny how I loved and trusted this literal eldritch abomination I saw in this chapter goofily dressing herself up in people clothes and practising pick-up lines, and how terrified I was of what I assumed was a perfectly normal human witch who hurt these poor children. But now its even more depressing if we have this strange nonhuman creature who everyone treated as evil, who was good at heart, who made her first friend, who had so much futrue ahead of her, and then just SOMETHING has happened that sent her down the path of becoming that evil thing everyone said she was in the beginning...

Oh and also i really like the theory I saw that she’s another alchemy experiment of the professor who created Nijiku and Sanju? Cos people call her ‘Hifumi’ and thats a name that can mean a number, same as those two. And it might maybe explain why the professor died in the first place. We just hear him saying he has to finish something before he can allow them out of their cage, and then he never comes back down that staircase ever again, and kuro sees some other empty cage next to his body... Oh and also WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCK ME UP, FINAL CHAPTER IN THIS VOLUME, HOLY SHITTTT It actually fits A LOT with this theory... The last chapter has Sanju accidentally horribly injuring a kitten she was trying to hold, and being terrified because it cant just be stitched together like a toy, or.. well, like herself. We see a flashback of how the twins would break a lot back when they were first created, and the professor would just stitch back Sanju’s one arm that kept rotting off. And they’re like.. kinda terrifyingly eldritch too, more than just simple lil kids who can shapeshift into animals. There was that earlier flashback about how they took a long time to adjust to having physical bodies, and used to phase through walls like ghosts until the professor explained how a cage is supposed to work. Like... only being limited by the laws of reality once they hear them spoken aloud. And apparantly they sat sleeping in those alchemy tubes for a long time and might have even like.. slowly developed into humanoid forms, they might have been some sort of visually terrifying thing in their newborn state. We the audience know that they’re just the same as any other innocent kid in personality, that they’re good kiddos no matter how they were born. But then sometimes we get reminded of their actual origins, and how they’d be potentially VERY dangerous in the wrong hands. And like.. even now we’ve just had a really sad reminder how they can be dangerous even when they’re being raised as normal kids by our kind protagonist, how just forgetting that they lack something that normal humans have can lead to this traumatic experience of one of them killing a small animal and not understanding that it cant be fixed, gAAAAAAHHHH :( Also the associated flashback was REALLY FUCKED UP, holy shit! you see the professor talking about redesigning their next beta with a sense of pain, so they stop accidentally breaking themselves, and apparantly he only managed to finish that modification to nijiku before he died. or, perhaps he only intended to give it to one of them, and is having this creepy detatched view of them where he can think ‘hey I’ll deliberately leave one broken to act as a test case’. that would actually fit a lot with the subtle stuff we know, like how apparantly when they were first born they’d randomly grow and de-grow and fluctuate everything between humanoid and animallike. And he notes how Sanju’s hair always returns to a long length whenever its cut, and just... like, he didnt fix that in her but it seems like Nijiku doesnt have the same problem? Does this mean that he actually did give nijiku a bunch of extra features and not fix mistakes that were hindering sanju, that he’s been doing that from the very beginning? I just thought it was maybe that nijiku never had the same hair problem, but I mean it seems like they started off identical in every other way. God I hope its not gonna be revealed that the prof never loved them at all and he was an abusive dad :(

GAHHH THIS MYSTERIOUS GODDAMN MANGA WITH NO ANSWERS FOR ANYTHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAA