#todd allen

[abs0luteb4stard]

W A T C H I N G

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

Bruce unintentionally dissing the league while praising his kids is so funny to me

Bruce: we need an expert marksman for this job

Oliver: *getting ready to stand up to fully accept Bruce’s praise*

Bruce: Redhood will be here shortly. We also need someone quick on their feet. Luckily Cass is working on a case nearby so we can ask her

[duranduratulsa]

Now showing on DuranDuranTulsa's Television 📺 Showcase...Freddy's Nightmares: Welcome To Springwood (1989) on amazing blu-ray 💿! #tv #television #horror #freddysnightmares #anightmareonelmstreet #wescraven #RIPWesCraven #freddy #freddykrueger #robertenglund #welcometospringwood #toddallen #leahayres #michaelhorton #deyyoung #camilaashland #georgekmeck #80s #bluray #durandurantulsa #durandurantulsastelevisionshowcase

[confused-wanderer]

Dick: Hey Bart! How’s it hanging?

Kid Flash: We accidentally travelled back in time like ten years or so

Dick: what else is new

Kid flash: .. Tim ran into his younger self

Dick:

Tim *walking past them and muttering under his breath*

Tim *mimicking*: Look at me! I’m so young and dumb! Such an annoying kid my god no wonder our parents were always trying to get away

Dick:

Tim *mimicking*: I’m so happy I’m smiling!

Kid flash: He-

Tim: Just suffer like the rest of us you coward

Tim *mimicking*: That’s not fair!

Tim: oh! Look at that! LIFE’S not fair dumbass

Dick:

Tim: Waah I’ve been hurt! I want love! Please don’t leave me!

Tim: Fool. Shut up and carry on with that pain in silence like the rest of us. Pathetic I was never like that . People are overrated and crying is underrated.

Tim *mimicking*: Oh! Batman’s awesome! And so is Robin!

Tim: Batman’s a goddamn idiot. Robin.. well okay true for the first one. But the second? The second one is a BITC-

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim's science experiments but they get increasingly unethical:

- Turning entire meals into nutrient injections

- Downloading TikTok onto the Batcomputer

- Devising a new blood typing system for extraterrestrials

- 3D printing a new spleen

- AirTagging Bart and having him travel through time

- Filling Jason's grave with different kinds of sand to make sedimentary rock

- BatGPT, an AI trained on confidential case files

- Traveling across universes to introduce an orphaned child Bruce to a childless Thomas and Martha

- Cloning everyone, including himself, to run simulations of every possible social situation

- Stanford Prison Experiment with Arkham inmates

[batfamhastwitter]

Part 44! Fun fact, I actually am a natural ginger, but I have been able to gaslight a specific few people into thinking that I'm blonde and just dye it. They've thought that for at least two years at this point. I want to see how long it can go lmao

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

[violent138]

More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

[camo-wolf]

I don’t care what anyone says I’m looking forward to it

[batcavescolony]

I never understand people who are like "I love this character but I hate this other one" and the two characters are best friends. Your favorite character loves them, that's THEIR blorbo, their little shit, their sun and stars, and you want to hate them?

[m1kuluvrr]

dc dump

[abs0luteb4stard]

W A T C H I N G

[oldmannapping]

HC: Bernard knows Tim is Red Robin, that’s fine, but he’s absolutely useless at guessing anyone else.

Bernard: “l know Jason is Batman.”

Tim: “You who the what”

Bernard: “I know your friend Bart is Robin.”

Tim: “Bern.”

Bernard: “I know Bruce is Aquaman. I know Connor is Nightwing.”

Tim: “Babe please stop.”

Bernard: (getting manic) “I know Damian is Orphan. I know Duke is Superboy”

Tim: “Wait how would DUKE be-“

Bernard: “DICK IS CATWOMAN!”

[nightingale-prompts]

Overworked- DCxDP prompt

The knight led the group of selected heroes into the throne room. Sitting before a crowd of his people was none other than the ghost king.

"Do not test His Majesty, his mood his well this day. Say only what is necessary." The knight warned before stepping aside.

The kind wasn't what Constantine had mentioned. He was young and rather small for the throne he now sits on. The green flaming crown was unmistakable though.

The young man glared at them with intense animosity, his upper lip curled as he held back a reflexive snarl. Sharp canines peeked out just for a moment as he schooled his expression.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" The kind said drumming his fingers on the armrest of his chair. His black claws each clicking aginst the cold metal.

The group had been briefed on the situation by Constantine after they were summoning to this realm.

The short and sweet was that they were being mandated to appear before the king of the infinite realms for a long list of violations against the order of the universe. The current group contains Bruce, Clark, Wally, Kon, Jason, Hal, Barry, and Damian. Constantine himself will also be there but he already knows that this tribunal will have multiple groups.

The group reamined mostly silent.

"Where you not read your list of crimes?" The boy asked this time.

An attendant scurried through the crowd with a large scroll in hand before the king immediately waved him off tp return to his post.

"No, lets skip the reading. It would take cycles to get through the charges. Let me be brief. You have all been found guilty of charges of resurrection, time traveling, timeline manipulation, Planetary rearranging courtesy of Mr.Kent here, Interdimensional universe travel, and UNIVERSE MELDING! THE LIST GOES ON!" The king became more irate with every charge. "Tell me why I shouldn't banish you to an empty dimension right this instance."

Constantine knew this was all politics at the end of the day. This whole thing could be smoothed over with the right words by the right person.

"We are human." Bruce said firmly before anyone could stop him. Jason held back a groan of agitation.

"...So you are. What does that have to do with anything?" He boy asked.

"Isn't it natural for us to want to live and do whatever we can to keep living?" Bruce responded

Murmurs erupted amongst the crowd of onlookers.

"So what? Do you think you are the exception then? Look around heroes. This room is full of ghosts who would also have done to keep living. My people couldn't avoid death but they accepted it. What can I say to them if I let you go while they paid their price? How fair would that be?" The king condemned.

The murmurs turned into cheers for their king's words. It was unfair. Why do they get to do what they want without repercussions when they died without even getting the option to live?

"If it counts for anything many of us died to protect as many people as possible," Hal said.

"Well, good for you. How much was that sacrifice worth in the face of your resurrection? That probably doesn't feel cheap at all." The king said sarcastically. "I suppose that goes for most of you."

"I have an objection. Resurrection is not a choice if someone chooses to bring us back we don't get a say. By default we shouldn't be charged for it." Jason argued.

The king paused and raised a hand silencing the crowd.

"Hmmm, I suppose you are correct. Fine, I will strike it from the record." The kind relented.

The heroes had finally found an in. If they could argue their charges down they could leave.

"None of use have willingly time traveled. Hell i hated it. Being lost in time was not a chose we made." Wally said as Barry nodded along.

The king bit the inside of his cheek as he pondered the response.

"I suppose I can overlook it."

"Let me just say that any melding of the universe happened as a consequence of our battle with Darkside." Clark said getting rid of their their biggest charge.

"Darkside?" The king narrowed his eyes.

A courtier stepped forward and leaned down to whisper into the boy king's ear.

"I see. He will be added to the ledger for his crimes. His trial will not be as forgiving as yours. You will not be seeing him again." The boy silently signaled to the knight who bowed and exited with a group of others.

The boy sighed and stood up.

"Follow me."

The group was led down a long corridor to an office with stacks of paperwork from floor to ceiling lining the walls.

"Welcome to my personal hell." The king announced.

Constantine whistled at the sheer number of documents scattered across the room.

"Sorry about the whole court thing. I don't really want to do it but I kind of have to. The Observers demand some kind of punishment for violations. Also, you need to understand that your actions are kept track of and you can't escape it. When you break the rule I have to do the paperwork. AND I HATE PAPERWORK. So here is the deal. You guys bring me the people that have done worse than you on this list and I'll call it square. And if you don't I take everyone's souls." The King handed the scroll to Bruce. "I want the Al Ghul clan first."

"Wait but my-" Damian spoke out but was cut off by the King's raised hand to silance him.

"It is irrelevant to me what your personal issues are. Every violator will be judged for their crimes. If they can give me a good plea then they can return. Consider yourself lucky that you're too young for a full sentencing. As for the rest just do what I say and make up for your crimes. This is a mercy so don't complain."

It was clear that the moody young king wasn't going to argue. It was best to keep quiet and before they knew it the group was sent back to earth.

"You have no idea how lucky we got," Constantine said lighting up a cigarette and leaving to get a drink.

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim has everyone's DNA but before he clones them he splices in genes from a sea turtle because sea turtles always find their way back home

[batfamhastwitter]

Part 29! chat I love baby deranged Tim so much I need more of him in my life

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[wonderjanga]

Marvel’s an Old Lady

He acts like an old lady. I don’t know. Let’s say Billy’s been spending too much time volunteering at an elderly home because he doesn’t want to be on the streets skulking around. It’s rubbed off on him.

Like for example, he knits like crazy at the Watchtower. It gives him something to do with his hands, what can he say?

Marvel: *in an all too small rocking chair, holding too small knitting needles, zoned out, listening to the gods argue while making a quilt that’s like twelve feet long*

Hal Jordan and John Stewart: *peaking around a corner, watching Marvel*

Hal: “That’s what I was saying! He does not look okay.”

John: “Hal, I’m sure he’s fine.”

Hal: “Dude, he’s been at this for like two hours straight. No breaks.”

John: “Wait really?” *sounds more concerned now* “I would’ve thought he’d been at that for two days.”

Hal: “Yeah, no. He’s just been sitting there. Knitting. It’s kinda creepy to be honest.”

John: “Damn.” *uses ring to summon a ruler and float it over to measure the quilt*

Marvel: *doesn’t even notice as Zeus is picking a fight with Solomon*

John: “That thing’s like twelve feet long.”

Hal: “What?” *concern amps up*

Later Billy cut up the quilt a little bit and donated it all to a homeless shelter.

Then of course there’s the classic old lady move of giving out candy. He’d give the younger heroes candies. He’d give the younger heroes who have become adult heroes candies. And overall, he’d just give everyone candies.

Flash: *telling Marvel about some problems with Iris* “—And now she’s mad at me!”

Marvel: “Oh, it’s okay Flash. Here, have some candy.” *puts a strawberry taffy in Barry’s hand*

Flash: *sniffles as he shoves it into his mouth, wrapper and everything* “Thanks, man.”

Or

Damian: *got scolded by Bruce and is now silently brooding on the couch in the Titan’s Tower*

Marvel: “Heyyyyy Robin…” *super awkward* “I uh… heard you got scolded by Mr. Batman.”

Damian: *mini bat-glares him*

Marvel: *awkward pause* “Take a candy.” *gives him an orange taffy*

Damian: *stares at the candy for a bit* “Tt. I have no need for pity-filled gestures.”

Marvel: “It wasn’t meant to be pity-filled. I just thought candy would make you feel better. Sorry.”

Damian: “Don’t waste your apologies.” *eventually eats it*

or

Marvel: *gives a blood covered Red Hood candies even though the man just shot someone in front of him*

Batman: “Don’t encourage him.”

Red Hood: “Definitely encourage me. I have no idea where you get these but they are delicious.”

Then, the pie making.

Supes: *walks into kitchen cause he smells pie* “Marvel? Are you making pies?”

Marvel: *taking a fresh pie out of the oven* “Hm? Yeah! Ms. Kent told me about a new recipe to try.”

Supes: “Ms. Kent? Lois doesn’t make pies.”

Marvel: “Ohhhhh. No. I meant the other Ms. Kent. Your mom. We discuss and make pies and pie recipes. I’ve been to the farm a couple times too so we could bake together- Your mom hasn’t told you?”

Supes: “No?? Why do just casually know my mom like that?”

Marvel: “We met through a Facebook group. Want to try my blueberry?” *holds up pie*

Supes: “Yes??” *gets a slice and takes a bite* “This really good.”