#tidy the living room
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#sigh#got 3 bathrooms to clean tonight#and to sort the spare room/my room out#probably do some laundry#tidy the living room#okay#going under#see you after I have cleaned a bathroom
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Luo Binghe pov fics that have him be amused or confounded by his silly shizun are the best actually. I know his rose tinted glasses of affection are basically opaque, but you cannot tell me the silly goofy wackiness that is shen yuan does not peak through and throw binghe off his rhythm at times. During his disciple days he definitely thought "he's so smart and yet so dumb at the same time. Is anyone gonna take care of him?" And didnt wait for an answer.
#when he first started living in the bamboo house and would watch sqq stare at the wall for hours in bafflement#or seeing all the times sqq trips or breaks smth#that man is not tidy AT ALL either#it paints an interesting picture for binghe during his first week living in the side room#“well now i GOTTA make all his meals do all his laundry clean his house do his paperwork pick out his clothes brush his hair--”#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#scum villain's self saving system
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I don't usually post my sketches but I really like how this one turned out.
What's the point of angst without some good aftermath healing?
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#reprogrammed au#wk reprogrammed au#wild kratts#chris kratt#martin kratt#littlecrittereli#wild kratts fanart#I guess spoilers for the fic but not rlly?#I am projecting chronic nightmares from PTSD onto Chris fr#but it's okay cause Martin is here :)#Small headcanon they have actual rooms in the Tortuga#u cannot convince me they actually just sleep in hammocks every night#they probably share a room too to save space bc it is like a giant turtle and they got shit to do so#POV you're a very tidy person being forced to share a small living space with your messy as hell brother#but thats a story for another day
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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organised bookcase
#book#books#organised#tidy#bookcase#book shelves#fiction#fiction books#non fiction#non fiction books#manga#lord of the rings#lotr#lord of the rings books#tolkien#j r r tolkien#his dark materials#philip pullman#book collection#dvds#video games#ps5#ps5 games#playstation#playstation games#home#living room#living area#decor#home decor
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I am such a fucking maximalist
#like i need my room to feel lived in#ive tried all my life to keep everything perfect but ive given up and my room has so much more characterrre#like a shite load of posters and just stuff#its tidy dont get me wrong but its not all tucked away in boxes#ok enough explaining i love my room ok 😭#katie talks alot
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I have officially started painting the walls in the living room.
well, I've mixed/adjusted the paint and painted some swatches and put up masking tape and all that stuff. I'll be painting tomorrow. I'm so excited (to get started, but mostly that I'll finally be all done with evvvverything*)
*until I think of the next thing I want to do, and the next one after that, and -
#I'm just so damn happy I actually managed to get everything else done today!! the living room was a mess before#well it's even worse right now but that's because all the furniture is in the middle of the room lol#but yeah I finished unpacking almost everything (there's still a few boxes with like old memory stuff etc. in the storage room but that#doesn't count because we don't use or need that stuff)#and I cleaned and I did the laundry and I put away (some) clean laundry and I blocked most of the bunting for the birthday garland I'm#making and I tidied everything and I fixed a bunch of things and#okay I think that's all#but hey that's kind of a lot?#idk but it definitely is for me#I think I sat down for maaaybe an hour or two the entire day?? that's. actually concerning and it explains the pain in my feet oh no#sometimes when I'm walking (not standing) I don't notice the pain until it's too late...#well shit I hope I'll be able to actually paint tomorrow lol. guess I'll have to sit down for some of it but I did that last time too and it#was alright#personal
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there is rot in my brain and i don't know if it'll ever go away
#at any and all times i feel so aware of everything that's going wrong and so unequipped to do anything abt it#but everything i do feels wrong. like some sad attempt at taking a step down the right path after years spent walking the wrong one#nothing is ever going 2 make things feel right. nothing i have ever done has helped. everything is so hopeless.#ive been sitting at my desk doing nothing with awful posture for an hour now. i need to shower. i need to tidy my room.#i need a job. i need to do something that let's me live just a little. i need to see the people i love.#i need to walk out into the rain and vanish and have nobody ever question what happened to me or if there ever even was a me.
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I HAVE SO MUCH TIDYING TO DO AAAAAA
#this is to hold myself accountable for it#living room tidy#bedroom tidy#kitchen tidy including dishes#bathroom tidy#laundry#clean clothes away#everything shower
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#starting to feel bad about doing nothing but crochet all day#going to tidy the living room to redeem myself
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I've been working on making a notes document for my own use, for the next time I need to format a book. It always seems simple at first, then more and more little annoyances pop up like a game of literary whack-a-mole. I'm hoping to make a more streamlined checklist of what things to do in which order.
I started on this document when I started formatting the current project (the yearly anthology for my local writers' club). It was very neat and orderly at first.
It was not by the end.
The end is all things like "consider doing the next book with the dang widows & orphans thing turned off" and "….aaaaaaaugh I didn’t update the TOC numbersssssss."
It's like one of those before and after photosets of someone's first day of college compared with their first day of finals.
#I'll get it done#it will be nice and tidy eventually#but the ranting to myself needed to happen first#and all the messy notes about the messy details#I'll take that and copy the important bits to a new document#and THAT will be beautiful#like a dorm room in a display photo#that no one has lived in before#indie writer life#hoard all the skills#and keep notes on them to make life easier for your future self#anyways the book is turned in and I should see a proof copy in the near future#hooray hooray
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eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh
#i just find it like so unfair yknow#im the only one who works in myhouse and full time#but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put#my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but#i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger#its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad#and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility#and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough#and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother#said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i “chose” this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9#and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time#constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers#and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either#its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they#cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything.#like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl#thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on#im just tired and upset#its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else.#and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing#im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf#oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this#and yk what#thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is#i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return#or if not#theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them#i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me#its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me
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#I'm doing some serious tidying and cleaning around my house and was contemplating rearranging my living room#the problem is I have limited options for where seating can go#I considered swapping my tv and couch for some variety before I realized that meant I wouldn't be able to see my tv from the kitchen#truly I am my mother's daughter
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two episodes of nervous crying your brains out for longer than one hour in the span of three days were not in my bingo card for 2024 when I graduated ten years ago and I would like to frankly get the fuck over myself
#personal for ts#one day i’ll be able to put into words#the absolutely hateful feeling of thinking you got over your shit#and then finding out that NOT ONLY you aren’t#but KNOWING you’re falling back into shitty coping mechanisms you STILL let it happen#honestly my self loathing is off the roof because fifteen years ago i didn’t know i was shitty coping#now i KNOW i am and guess what here i am doing the whole isolating myself and forgetting to reply to ppl song and dance#christ i thought i was okay with handling that kinda shit guess not#and yeah ofc i need to fix it for myself but this time is so much worse i’m just#my kingdom for waking up one morning and feeling some level of mental clarity#and for some goddamned financial stability#and for the force of will to keep the house tidy enough that i dont feel sad just looking at the state of the living room#guys also honestly sorry if i forgot to reply to your ask or pm or anything i’ll get to it at some point#i swear i’m not ignoring people on purpose i’m just completely overwhelmed sigh
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Tea is a mix of decaf black and the Anansi's Web blend from Friday tea. Cookies is the Newman's Own oreo knock-off (which are better than actual oreos by a mile)
I really wanted a spicy decaf black tea to go with my cookies, but I didn't have any such blend. I did have plain decaf black and the last bit of a sample of Anansi's Web though. This turned out great! Perfectly paired
3.3g AW + 1.5g decaf black, 205° f, 3:33 minutes in a basket strainer
#tea time#Friday afternoon tea#I love how tidy and aesthetic my living room is now we have the new shelf full of stuff#Sword sips
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i never want to live with my father again
#please god i just wanna live with my mom 😭😭#like he’s fine. whatever. he gives me food and a roof over my head and all and i don’t have to actually pay for it#but also. i hate having him as my roommate so much oh my god#he never fails to piss me offfffffffffffff#doesn’t properly clean and tidy the communal space after he uses it#doesn’t take his laundry back into his room after doing it and so then everyone else is forced to deal with it instead#receives a ton of mail and lets it pile up and take over almost half the countertop#consistently turns on and leaves on lights when they very much don’t need to be on#and this is just the stuff i have to deal with just because i live with him#then there’s all the annoying shit he brings about just by being around#one day he will not be hearing from me again#me.txt
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