#its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else.
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softshuji · 1 year ago
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eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh
#i just find it like so unfair yknow#im the only one who works in myhouse and full time#but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put#my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but#i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger#its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad#and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility#and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough#and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother#said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i “chose” this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9#and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time#constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers#and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either#its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they#cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything.#like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl#thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on#im just tired and upset#its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else.#and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing#im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf#oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this#and yk what#thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is#i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return#or if not#theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them#i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me#its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me
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funtimefishy · 4 years ago
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A Stumble in the Darkness ~ PT. 1
request: So, I was wondering if you could do a scenario in which I am a security guard in Sister Location? And I stumble into the scooping room since I'm new, trying to run away from Ballora who was on all fours, chasing me. Then I notice William, working on the machine. And he sees me!
word count: 1008 yeahhh
warnings: usage of d*m* 
canonical inconsistencies: i dont think theres anything that’s not according to game or book lore, thus making this fic completely canon!! 
A/N: hii!! here i am, posting yet another fic! i honestly like this one, despite the goofy bit i added in towards the middle. also, regarding that request, i couldnt mention the fact that Ballora was on all fours because i couldnt find the opportunity to put that in, but just imagine she is. thank you and enjoy!! 
extra: gender neutral reader :) also, this is NOT a ROMANTIC fnaf x reader post!! part 2 coming.. whenever
It was right behind you. You were sure of it. Running wasn’t something you did regularly, but you found it super easy when you were granted with the fact that you were running for your life. You heard its bones and gears creak inside its hard metal shell. You kept a steady pace and didn’t dare to look back. Your breath was heavy, mimicking your footsteps. You couldn’t even visualize what would happen if it caught you. 
You had zero clue where you were going. You were supposed to be headed to the Scooper Room to perform repairs on machinery, but you never received a map of the underground location, thus forcing you to stumble around blindly in search of the Scooper Room door. In the meantime, you had other things to worry about, like running for your life.
Your flashlight didn’t illuminate much, and you prayed you didn't bump into anything or trip on something. You knew you were in Ballora Gallery; that’s where the thing detected you. Now was just the difficulty of locating your way back to the control module located… who knows where? 
Your legs grew weary as your speed gradually diminished. You ran in big circles around the far side of Ballora Gallery. The room was not well ventilated, making breathing all that much more difficult. Where was the damn control module? You got a steady grip on your flashlight and shined it in the distance again. You thought you spotted a green tint across the room, the same green tint you saw in the control module. You were sure it was this way. If not, you were afraid that this would be the end. The thing remained close as your heart galloped. Your shoes struck the gray tile beneath you that composed the floor. The green color grew brighter as you approached. This had to be the control module. What else would it be? You shined your flashlight again and there it was. 
Safety.
The only problem was, there was a small opening, like a vertical trapdoor, you had to crawl through. You were sure that if you slowed down a little bit to start crawling, the thing would catch you. You tried to think of another idea, possibly a better one, but you couldn’t. Crawling was your only option, and you had to take the chance. You powered your legs as much as possible, trying to gain as much distance between you and the creature. Your feet ached and throbbed. The small opening was still open from when you first entered Ballora Gallery. 
Suddenly, it dawned on you. 
You had an idea. 
Was it a good one? No. Crawling just might be your best option, but your chances of survival may go up if all is done successfully. What choice did you have? You had to jump.
You grew closer to the control module and dived downward toward the small opening in the wall. Everything felt like it happened in slow motion as you plunged headfirst into the opening. This was it, you thought. You were going to bang your head and it was going to catch you. There was no avoiding it. 
You hit the cold uneven tile flooring on your stomach as you slid forward on the floor. Seemingly by chance, seemingly by luck, you slid through the small opening in the wall and into the control module. You couldn’t believe your eyes. You couldn’t believe anything. It worked. As funny as it may sound, becoming a penguin just might’ve saved your life. You stood up and panicked to close the opening, then chuckled lightly. You couldn’t believe you just did that, and that it worked. 
Dusting dust and dirt off of you, you took your flashlight and shined it through the slightly tinted glass between Ballora Gallery and the control module, and there stood the humanoid robot. Standing at least 6 feet tall, it towered over you as it stared through the glass with an empty smile on its face. Now that you were safe, you could swiftly examine its features through the foggy glass. 
Its eyes were shut, its eyelids neatly painted with blue eyeshadow. The lips were gently coated with magenta lipstick. Of course, the makeup wasn’t real. It was just painted onto the hard metal to give it the same look. The robot’s metal hair was put up in a blue bun with silver spheres and accessories neatly placed in it. The robot appeared to be a ballerina. It was positioned in a pirouette as it proceeded to menacingly gaze through the glass. 
“Onward.” You said, sighing. You were just about ready to go right back onto that elevator, the same elevator you came in through to get to this stupid job. You were just about ready to go home, a place where there are no monsters; just you and your soap operas. Instead, you spun around to enter the opening on the other side of the control module. You flicked the switch that opened the tiny door and proceeded to crawl through. The man you took the job from explicitly stated Funtime Foxy would not be active, as they were undergoing maintenance, so you had nothing to worry about while crossing Funtime Auditorium. 
~~~
You scanned the walls for the Scooper Room door. Despite you searching for nearly ten minutes scanning the outer walls of Funtime Auditorium, you did not find a door… until you did. You skipped over it when you walked through the first time, you guessed. You grabbed the doorknob of the door and pushed open the heavy door as you stared into even more complete darkness. You shined your flashlight into the room and looked around, closing the door behind you as you walked in. 
“Creepy,” You whispered to yourself as you continued to walk forward into the room.
“Indeed it is!” A man emerged from the darkness. You shrieked, fumbling with your flashlight. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” “I’m Dave, and you arrived just on time.”
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