#i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return

[snow-in-the-desert]

Dramione Recommendations

Ok so, 2020 has been A LOT but on a personal note one of the most surprising things to happen was me discovering Dramione fanfiction and becoming unashamedly obsessed with it. I really didn’t see that coming but I’m here now and I’m here to stay. 

I think I started reading in the Dramione fandom around mid July last year?? (In all honesty I’ve lost any true sense of time’s progression at this point so I could be well off the mark with that) And I’ve decided to compile a list of all my favourite fics I’ve read so far. Why? I really just want to gush over all the amazing writers I have found through this fandom because y’all deserve it. 

Side note: If any of the authors actually sees this post just dm so I can buy you coffee or post you writing supplies or something idk I feel like that’s the least I can do for all your amazing work x

Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

Ok I have to start with RN because this fic is pretty much the sole reason I decided to create an account with A03 or a tumblr or just decided to get involved with this fandom at all. 

I headcannon this story hard. But I think even if you aren’t a fan of Dramione you should just read this because it is so unbelievably good and well written and poignant and Draco’s sarcastic personality in this is truly a thing of beauty in this - I relate to his inner monologue’s on a deep personal level. 

I could rave about this story any time, any day of the week, just ask me. In fact, maybe I’ll just start a HeyJude19 fan club to fulfill that urge.

There are so many elements that I love but for the sake of brevity, RN is a beautifully told story of Draco and Hermione finding love and healing in a post-war HP setting. Heyjude19 had the very special ability of making me want to simulatenously laugh, cry and swoon with the power of her words. Just stop what you are doing and go read it now if you havent already, ok?  

I also really enjoyed reading Bells on a Hill, Beers, Potions and Unwise Notions and A Shift in Focus, if you are looking for smaller fics, definitely give these a go. They are all funny and heartfelt stoires that will make your tippy toes wriggle with glee. 

The Rights and Wrongs Series by @lovesbitca8

The Right Thing To Do, All The Wrong Things and The Auction are the holy trinity of Dramione writing. I have christened it thus, so mote it be. And frankly I’m not interested in any other opinion than that one, thank you very much!

After reading this series I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on the orginal HP books without thinking of Hermione’s and Draco’s memories of their time at Hogwarts in these fics as anything other than strictly cannon. 

So many things to love about this series but I think one of the major highlights was Hermione and Draco’s use of occlumency. LoveBitca8 created such beautiful visuals with how occlumency works as a magical practice and seeing Draco and Hermione so devoted to eachother to the point of safeguarding their inner most feelings to protect eachother was unbelievably romantic and poetic. 

Also the smut is divine ;)

Manacled by @senlinyu​

My heart will never be the same after reading this story. Like I actually can’t think about this fic without getting a lump at the back of my throat. I have never felt so emotionally ruined after reading anything, compared to the likes of this fic. Just please, please read it. To badly quote HP, reading Manacled will make you suffer but you’re going to be happy about it.

The flashbacks are a rollercoaster in of themselves but the way Hermione inadvertently refers to them when she is still in a state of memory loss was so heartbreaking to read. My heart still aches for them both. Also its a truly satisfying to see Draco and Hermione written in a way were they are both so fiercly protective of one another. They make my insides go soft. 

I also really enjoyed Snow Fall, Now Is A Gift and All You Want by the author but to be honest anything written by Senlinyu is always thoroughly enjoyable and worth a look. 

The Erised Effect by @adaprix​

Ada is QUEEN of dramione smut but ‘The Erised Effect’ is top tier. Its equal parts funny, romantic, sentimental and oh so sexy. Ada really knows how to build and build on sexual tension and doesn’t disappoint on the final delivery. I’m a big admirer of her writing style and just veraciously read whatever she posts but ‘The Erised Effect’ is just golden. A must read. (Also Pansy’s sexual fantasy in this story is a visual I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove from my brain so thanks for that Ada)

Also quick side note: Adaprix’ stories were the first I read when I was looking into this fandom and it was enough to get me hooked on the pairing from the get go so I have that to thank Ada for too. I remember devouring all the stories she had posted to A03 and when I was done I was like... now what am I supposed to do with my life?? And that’s basically when I began to look deeper into the fandom and thus the course of my life in 2020 changed for the better. 

Some other stories I love by her are Break for Me, All My Sins, The Big 4-0, The Fucklust Series and The Flat in Bath. 

Clean by @olivieblake​

This 6th Year AU where Draco and Hermione work together on a class assignment and end up falling in love had me feeling all kinds of ways when I read it. I almost don’t know where to start but I think one of the stand out things for me was how immersed I felt in reading it. 

Hogwarts is captured really well, you get a good sense of class atmospheres, character nuances and behind the scenes of events that happen in HBP but from a Draco and Hermione’s perspectives. It’s well executed and intricate tapestry of a fic. With an excellent plot twist ending! 

Also Hermione and Draco’s relationship in this is equal parts fluffy and smutty and it just ticks all the right boxes that you want to see for those characters ;)

Breath Mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm​

The angst in this one is just *chef’s kiss*

God I love this fic. The way Draco is portrayed is very true to his defensive and tetchy character in the original books but he is also given so much more depth. The way his diary entries are written are just so well executed. It’s a true testament to the author’s creative writing skill. And I LOVE how even though Draco is clearly in such a messed up place, he still has a basic level of self respect and dignity that he won’t tolerate being used or undervalued in his relationship with Hermione. 

Yep, I really love Draco’s characterisation in this one if you can’t tell.  But Hermione is also well written too. Her stuggles and trauma of returning to Hogwarts after war is described in a believable and grounded way. And my heart definitely ached for them both. I just wanted to wrap the pair of them in a big fuzzy blanket and tell them that everything will be alright. 

WANDS OUT! by @persephonestone​

This murder mystery / Dramione / Theo x Harry / AU crossover is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I read it. I felt like I was picked up and plonked right into an alternative dimension where all the characters of HP are just living it up in an Agatha Christie novel. 

It’s a funny and clever story that I found refreshing to read amongst all the other fanfics that are usually cemented in the HP timeline or universe. Theodore Nott in this fic is perfection he should be written like this in every fic from now on in my opinion. I couldn’t stop giggling any time he had a scene in the story.

And the ‘only one bed’ trope in this fic is 10/10. I don’t want to give spoilers but ohmygod. It hits all the right notes. 

The One With Technical Difficulties by cassielassie 

Cassielassie has an excellent three part series of Dramone called ‘The One with...” but I have to give special credit to this story in particular for one main reason. ELEVATOR TROPES. I can’t get enough of em. I think I have my early childhood viewings of NCIS to thank for my obsession with elevator tropes they just do something to me that simply cannot be explained with mere words. The palpable sexual tension of being in a broken down elevator with an ‘enemies to lovers’ pairing, a heated arguement breaks out followed by a discovery of mutual feelings and a romantic embrace...

Eugh. It gets me everytime. And this fic is no exception. I loved it for all the reasons I’ve already stated above but also for the attention to detail in Draco and Hermione’s careers makes this one particularly immersive. The dynamics between them established in this one-shot are convincingly portrayed and the chemistry between them is so undeniably hot. 

The Light is No Mystery by @masterofinfinities​

Yooo if you want to read a dramione fic that is a deep dive into Pureblood culture and Post-War recovery but is also a perfect allegory for discrimination and today’s political landscape of moral grandstanding for votes then look no further than this one. 

This story has a bit of everything. Intrigue, mystery, ptsd and recovery, enemies to lovers / secret relationship, government conspiracy and humour, to name a few. I eargerly await every update to this story and am anxious to know how it ends!

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen 

Finally! A fic that gives me the Ravenclaw representation I crave. I think I could recommend this fic on the lore depicted of Ravenclaw house alone. ‘The Stacks’ and Rowena Ravenclaw’s own ‘come and go room’ are just such cool details that I could see being real in the HP universe. 

This fic is so cosy and makes me feel like I’m just popping back into Hogwarts for another year. You get to see all the usuals like prof. Mcgongall, Nearly headless Nick, PEEVES, Hagrid, as well as learn more about minor characters from the other school houses. The story follows Hermione going to her day to day classes and there are interesting concepts about magic and alchemy that are explored. 

Draco and Hermione’s relationship in this one is of course very fluffy and heartfelt. But it’s the attention to detail that really makes this fic outstanding and the experience of reading it feels fleshed out and true to HP universe.

A shorter fic by HeartofAspen that I recommend is one called Set in Stone, it has an adventurous, Indianna Jones vibe to it, that I am so down for. 

Teachable Moments by @purplesugarquills

In this fic Hermione is an innocent little virgin determined to learn everything about sex. And Draco Malfoy is her tutor. If that isn’t enough to get you on board then I don’t know what is. Both Heartfelt and Steamy. PurpleSugarQuills writes smut so well but it’s the progression of their growing attachment and the nervous treading of new uncharted waters of romantic relationships for both of them that just adds a whole other level of feels to the story. Also chapter 9 is like reading poetry - its so good. Eugh just give it a read if you haven’t already.

Les Pèlerins by @pacific-rimbaud

This story is high art. It’s transcendent. Reading this story feels like the emotional equivalent of standing around a hundred glowing fairy lights, sipping hot cocoa and being wrapped in the loving embrace of a s/o. I can’t speak my praises highly enough or even become passably coherent in my words when I try to articulate a review. 

From the very first paragraph I felt like I was just whisked away on a Parisian holiday and I’ve never even bloody been to Paris but damn it if this story didn’t make me feel like I was there. The writing style is just so tactile and intense it’s like I could feel the cold winter air brush against me as I read it. Eugh I just completely fell in love with the story and the writer. 

New Year’s resolution. Read everything PacificRimbaud has ever posted online. 

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Ghosting A Wayne

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult content +18 only!! Smut, Agegap, Swearing, A Little Angst?

A/n:Ok so this is the first real full smut iv done and im super nervous about posting this one i hope its good but if its shit im sorry hope you enjoyxx

After getting cold feet because of your own insecurities you get a visitor pick you up from work.

Ghosting A Wayne

You sighed as you pulled out a batch of cookies from the oven placing the three large trays out on the cooling racks today was a baking day to fill the display out the front ,you'd been alone with your thoughts all day and were just about done, glancing at the clock you fist pumped the air. Home time. You quickly undone your apron hanging it on the hook by the kitchen door then called out to Tom that your shift was done.

After your first lunch date with Bruce you intended to leave it there but the man was very persistent... and charming somehow he'd managed to talk you in circles and wrangle a second date and third and forth. you'd canceled your fifth using work as an excuse and he bought it for about a week, then he began asking when you were free telling you to call him giving you his personal number which you didn't call.

That worked for about three days before he began messaging you about a date you replied with excuses it seemed to work until he showed up at the door to drop Damien round instead of Alfred, Jack had covered for you not letting either of them in saying you were ill. It wasn't that you didn't like him or anything you were scared, scared of getting hurt he was amazing a perfect gentleman he made you laugh he took you to fancy places but didn't make you uncomfortable even going so far as to berate another guest as he heard them make a comment of the restaurant 'letting anyone in these days' when he was returning from the rest room , you felt special and safe with him.

But he was The Bruce Wayne and nothing would ever come of it. Someone like you had no right to be with someone like him, he deserved a high class well educated successful woman not a minimum wage cafe worker who dropped out of college. You found yourself growing to attached to him and it had frightened you. Not only that but what would people say when they found out, probably think your a charity case or a gold digger you could see the headlines now ' The playboys new sugar baby' with photos of you plastered across the tabloids you shivered.

Damien had spoke to you about it he was far to smart for his own good telling you your being a 'stupid female' and that you should just talk to Bruce about it, Jack also scolded you for being stupid and letting your insecurities hold you back.

The boy had been soo happy for you when you were going out with Bruce, he admitted that he felt responsible for you being alone and not having friends or a boyfriend it broke your heart, hearing how he blamed himself for it, yes it had been hard taking on a 8 year old at 20 years old and yes you did need to grow up quicker then most and avoid the typical early twenties drinking and clubbing but you wouldn't change a thing. When he had brought it up you both had a heart to heart and you were gobsmacked at just how mature he had soundec. He told you that he didn't care about Bruce being Damien's dad or that he was older than you, he was happy that you had someone who made you happy and wanted you to got out with him again and be happy. The boys didn't understand.

"Tom I'm finished don't touch the cookies before they cool you can have one to test but that's it theirs 48 here I've counted, so if you have anymore I will know its you, you greedy little shit" you said opeing the door you walked straight into him he was wide eyed pointing out to the font over his shouldet. You froze thinking the worst it was gotham afterall.

"Oh my god tom?"

"You have.. Out the there.... Man front" he said not making any sense you pushed past him through the door

"whats wron-"

"y/n!" you snapped your head to the counter seeing Bruce standing their ignoring the odd looks he received from the other few customers scattered about in the cafe. You slung your bag over your shoulder cradling your coat in the other hand cursing quietly. Scanning the cafe for a quick exit wanting to run. There was one way in and out and he was between you and the door. Giving in you plastered on a polite smile.

"Bruce what are you doing here?" you asked tentatively due to the blank look on his face unsure what mood he would be in after you ghosted him. Making your way around the counter he followed on the other side meeting you at the end.

"I wanted to take you out, Jack told me when you finished so I thought I'd come pick you up for dinner" you felt the gazes in the room shift from him to you and the whispers started. Bruce held out a hand taking your coat from you while you tried to come up with a reason not to your anxiety screaming at you to run. You sighed at him biting your lower lip raw he lifted a hand pulling it gently forcing you to release it. He smiled meeting your eyes trying to calm you.

"Bruce I don't feel like going out tonight can we reschedule?" hooking his arm around your waist guiding you out of the cafe past the gossiping customers opening the door for the both of you pressing himself to your back giving you no room to bolt away. Hed catch you anyway.

"Good news, we don't have to go out Alfred is making us dinner back home, so we get to have a relaxing night in." you nodded as you left walking down the street feeling your nerves spike as you realized there was no reason to avoid this. He kept pace with you to the side arms ready to dart out and catch you as you glanced around a little skittish he ushered you into a ridiculously expensive Lamborghini and took off down the road.

"So that's Tom then? the one you were talking about?" he started you were confused as he acted like you hadn't been avoiding him for the past week and half you just nodded.

"Err yeah that's him we get along work really well, I was doing all the baking today couldn't handle the customers they were doing my head in." he nodded placing a warm hand on your knee running his thumb in small circles you took a deep breath.

"I know what you mean, had a lot of meetings today with a bunch little men wanting me to over invest in companies that wont last the financial year" you tensed as he left his hand on your leg still navigating the traffic, you tried to shift your led from underneath him but he just followed squeezing it lightly making your breath hitch and clench your walls tight.

"Sh-shouldn't you have both hands on the wheel in a car like this?" you asked quietly he laughed giving you a mischievous look then you screamed as he let go of the wheel completely still picking up speed quickly.

"OH MY GOD BRUCE NO!" you cried leaning over grabbing it yourself he just laughed out loud placing one hand back on it the other still resting on your knee.

"Its fine I could probably drive this with my eyes closed, it's nothing like my other car" he said cheekily as he made his way towards the outskirts of gotham you swallowed nervously.

"yeah please dont do that"

"Don't worry I'd never let anything happen to you sweets" you blushed as he used the nickname he'd given you onde he found out about your sweet tooth and the fact you do all the baking at the cafe.

"He says after driving without hands." you scoffed looking out of the window as the scenery changed. It wasn't long before you pulled up to the manor. It was impressive you'd only been inside twice whilst waiting for Jack to get his things he thought it was the perfect place to hid from his dentist and doctors appointments. Once out of the car he lead you inside where Alfred greeted you both.

"Ah Master Wayne dinner will take another hour or so I'm afraid and Y/n its lovely to see you again." Bruce gave you both a look seeking an explanation for the first name basis.

"Have you met everyone in this house before me?" he asked sarcastically you smiled at him before Alfred took your coats hanging them up.

"Well sometimes the boys play about getting ready so Alfred comes in for tea whilst we wait and I've met Tim he has come over a few times drank my whole pot of coffee and left." he grunted before leading you to a small sitting room off to the side.

"We will be in here Alfred call us when dinner is ready." Alfred nodded smiling slyly before closing the door leaving you in private. You sat down on the leather sofa a nervous wreck looking around the opulent room feeling out of place, he took a seat beside you offering you a glass of what you assumed was scotch he sat and leaned in next to you. Relaxing as he took a slow sip of his drink.

"Don't look so worried the boys explained for you. Your scared of getting hurt I can understand that I don't exactly have the best record but I'm not giving up as you can tell."you looked down into your glass a little ashamed as you heard hurt laced in his words.

"I-its not that, its me I.. I love spending time with you I really do... but I dont think you should waste your time on me... thats all" he frowned you sounded so ...defeated , he didnt like it one bit placing his glass down putting two and two together. That he didn't know Damien said you were being a 'difficult woman' and Jack had said that you hadn't dated since school and were afraid of being hurt he summarised that it was because of him but it sounds like there was more to it then that. Bruce took a deep breath regarding you carefully.

"Waste my time? why would spending time with you be a waste. There is something between us, I have never felt this type of pull to a woman before and I'm quite determind to see you if you havent already noticed" he said sternly you shrunk into the sofa he sighed pulling the glass tumbler from you hand.

"Whats really going on? we were going fine then you just pulled back. I want this, us and I know you do to but we have to talk to each other." You leaned forward locking eyes with him feeling overwhelmed you shook your head pulling back he followed leaning back pulling you across the seat wrapping his arms around you pulling your face into his chest holding you, you tried pulling yourself off of him but he was to stronger than he looked. You Gave up then took a deep breath endulging in the closeness breathing him in.

"Talk to me please" he spoke quietly into your hair

"I cant, I just cant, your-I, you need someone better. And if people find out then what will they think? that I'm a charity case some passing fancy? that you'll get bored with and you will bruce. When you find some older succsessfull women who equals you. someone that I can never be for you. I wont be good enough for you and you'll see it one day" once you started you couldn't stop as the words kept coming your fears poured out after being kept bottled up since that very first date.Fears of loving him and then him leaving, or of what backlash Jack could face if you were painted to be a whore trying to capture Bruces attention, the cps could investigate if it seemed like you were becoming a party girl like what Bruce typically dated. Then there was the fact that the school could start being funny if word got out that you and bruce were together. But the main reason was that he was to good for you and you knew it. You heaved a breath feeling lighter yet your stomach churned he had been quiet throughout and you'd gotten yourself worked up shaking from your anxiety feeling sick to your stomach.

"I'm sorry I know I should have spoke to you instead but I... I was scared that you were going to realize I'm right and leave ...so" he hushed you rubbing your back lightly causing you to shiver and relax onto his chest.

"So you left before I could?" you flinched then nodded it sounded so petty when said out loud he moved sitting up a bit more dragging you with him not releasing you for a second, he would have preferred if it had all been about his past but now realized you had low self esteem you had fears about the future, the age gap, Jacks future and how people would judge you all of these fear were to blame. And he understood it must be daughting, but what got him most was that you thought he'd let you deal with it alone , that you were so scared of loosing him in the long run you tried to walk away now and that was all the proof he needed that you did feel somthing for him.

"Tell me something does Jack have a problem with you being with me?" he asked you shook your head instantly.

"No he loves it, he wants me to be with you he saw how happy I was he has been pestering me to call" he pulled his head away smiling confusing you.

"I can tell you that Damien is thrilled he has even been bragging to his brothers that I've found the perfect woman and they cant wait to meet you by the way the

and he threatened me before every date to 'not to fuck it up' so let me ask another question if Jack, Damien me and you are happy what does anyone else's opinion matter? it's our life why should we make ourselves miserable over a few tabloids that can be taken to court and be corrected? and I do have reporters that I trust with these type of stories one is a very close friend who I could give an exclusive to before any rumors get around and the press make up some nonsense. Not only that I know Clark wold print the truth if he knew that it involved the boys being bullied in the school." he let you pull back shocked you didnt think he would want anyone to know, you thought hed be ashamed of you.

"wh-what?" it was bearly a whisper but he heard it.

"You heard me sweets, Clark wouldn't let me down not with this and there are other reporters who I've trusted to cover stories of the boys in the past one phone call and I would have everything sorted and anyone who tries to make this something its not will feel the full force of my legal team." he leaned in giving you no time to reply kissing you deeply invading your mouth moaning into you. His tongue dominated your mouth taking your breath away he paused pulling you to straddle his waist you blushed looking down at him.Trying to put your weight on your knees conscious of your weight Bruce not having any of that tugged harshly pulling your weight on his thighs.

"And as for finding someone better I doubt it. I've said it before and I will say it again I want you. Not some stuck up model who's one surgery away from being on botched. The day we met I was floored and for the first time I saw what I truly wanted for me and my family. And it wasn't some highly educated business woman, no it was a sexy little mama bear who treated my son as her own." you gasped as he brought your hips closer resting you on his crotch before leaning forward capturing your lips again this time slow and deliberate pouring himself into it you, you moaned quietly as he rocked you across his groin. Pulling back for air

"So little miss now we have all that cleared up is there anything you want to add?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" you gasped out trying to collect yourself as you began getting tearful as you felt stupid for being so silly yet relieved that he hadn't thrown you out, he chuckled shushing you then moved biting at your earlobe .

"That's ok love I'm sure you'll make it up to me" he said kissing down your neck biting below your ear then lower to your pulse point feeling it race under his tongue before sucking harshly bordering on painful.

"o-OH Bruce" you gasped gripping his shoulder trying not to lean back to far and fall he noticed using and arm to hold you elbow resting on your waist curling his fingers into your low bun pulling slowly stretching your neck before him leaving marks up it you groaned closing your eyes trying to rub your thighs together as your pussy grew hot and clenched dampening your panties he ran his nose down your neck kissing your collar bone lightly.

"Aww sweety so desperate hm?" you whined squeezing his hips between your thighs again grinding softly against him he chuckled biting the top of your breast running his tongue along your cleavage unbuttoning your blouse with deft fingers then returned them to your hips pushing you harshly on his erection you cried out looking down panting as he dragged you slowly back and forth feeling him through his trousers was almost to much you fisted your hands in the crisp shirt covering his shoulders. He let out a breathy growl smug as you started trying to rock on him faster pouting when he held you controlling your pace circling you slow on his bulge dipping his thumbs into your pelvis tilting you catching your clit with every pass of your hips you shook your head eyes tightly shut.

"OH fuck shiiitt Bruce" he watched eyes blown as he built you up slowly drinking in your flushed face pouty full lips forming an 'o' as you let out high pitched cries his hands smothered your breasts squeezing them in his palms testing them before he tipped the cups down teasing your pink nipples to attention. You opened your eyes glazed over pleading with him.

"Please Bruce... I dont-fuck" you moaned high and louder almost squeeling as he pinched one of your nipples refusing to let go pulling your chest towards him by it until he could lay a sweet kiss to the other suckling catching it between his teeth nipping it letting go with a loud pop. You panted harder as he toyed with you, your body trembled as he pulled you closer to the edge your clit rubbed harshly against him and he growled relishing in the way your heat seeped onto him. He couldn't wait. He wouldn't. With a one sweeping motion you found yourself lying on the sofa with him hovering over you pulling your leggings down over your hips skimming your quivering thighs with his knuckles befor rubbing your calves and griping your ankles encircling them effortlesly, running his thumbs across the inside of them . Following bending as he went kissing your soft stomach and pelvis finally leaving a small kiss on your mound over your panties you moaned at that. He slipped your leggings off taking your flats with them you blushed as he stared seeing the wet patch you'd left on your panties crawling back up you exploring with his hands the whole way. Hooking a hand around to back of your neck he pulled you up into a bruising kiss needy as he angled his head to devour you deeper his other hand dragging your shirt from you by the back of the neck unclipping your bra and he went lowering you back down you blushed trying to cover yourself he growled pinning them beside you.

"Nooo you dont babe, let me see, show me" he ground out a deep gruntle sound that vibrated threw you trailing the tips of his fingers from your throat down in slow unpredictable patterns leaving goosebumps in his wake your nipples pebbled as he past them your whole body shuddered

"Fuck. Your stunning" you didn't meet his gaze it was to hot, posessive like he was claiming you already just with his eyes watching closely memorizing every freckle and mark on your skin, he let out a deep shuddering breath when you arched up inyo him as he fingered the bow on the waist band of your panties back and forth he brought his fingers lower and lower across your mound. You squirmed trying to buck up against him trying to get him where you desperately needed him whimpering pitifully. His response was to stretch out his fingers across your lower tummy and push you back down holding you still. You protested as his warm hand covered your whole mound and rocked forward trying to catch your clit on the heal of his palm that rested just out of reach.

"Such a greedy little thing. I think I'm going to have to work on your manners" he chided before using a hand to unbutton his shirt revealing a perfectly sculpted torso, you made a noise in the back of your throat that you didn't recognize at the sight of him, caramel skin taught over deliciously defined muscles and small thatch of hair disappearing below a teasingly low hanging trousers he let the shirt slide to the floor undoing his belt then slowly pulled his trousers over his hip grunting thrusting forward as it glided over his cock. You bit your lip still trying to move against his heavy hand he granted you a little mercy twisting as the wrist slotting his thumb between your lips seeking your clit and rubbing a figure 8 hard.

"AHH! F-Fuck BRUCE yes oh god-" you gasped deep breaths as he rolled your cilt around almost rough in his ministrations the fabric of you panties hieghtend the sensation you closed your eyes grinding yourself down on him tears leaked from them his other hand came up to your throat forcing you to face him.

"Look at me baby. come on let me see you... ah there she is good girl" he praised as you looked at him tears clinging to your lashes his hand still working you. Sobbing incoherently trying to buck up to him.

"OH fuck please-PLEASE let me come bruce please I'll do anything PLEASE" you breathed out hoarse gasping when your pussy weeped wetting the sofa below you he played you like an instrument taking you higher and higher you clenched and withered as you felt that familiar burn of an orgasm start in your lower tummy , almost cramping as it traveld lower to your pussy you chased it trying to rock harder just as you were at the presapice he stopped pulling his thumb away bit still pinned you down.

"AH! NO Br-BRUCE come back" you sobbed reaching out for him as your body hummed hot and quivering you gave up on finding his hand throwing yours between you trying to take over and force yourself over the edge. Soo close. Bruce was quicker catching them in one hand pulling them above you head. He watched waiting for you to come down from the almost high. Pouting all the way.

"You can count that as your punishment babe" he whispered huskliey into your neck kissing at the marks he has left. You cried out frustarated sweaty and exhasted.

"But im feeling a little mercifull tonight." you looked at him from below your lashes his heart skipped a beat seeing you look at him so needy and ready you looked so small,he could do anything to you right now but only wanted one thing. Shuffling back leaning down he placed an open mouthed kiss on your panties slipping his fingers in the sides draging them off before standing removing his boxers freeing his erection you gasped as it bounced up tapping his stomach ,hesitantly you reached out running a single finger along the underside from tip to base he jerked forward when you cupped him testing your grip befor stroking him he stopped you

"Fuck sorry babe but I cant wait." he growled out pinning you back down running his weeping head up and down your slit you tensed as he probed your enterance. Sensing your nerves he locked lips with you coaxing out your tongue sucking on it before licking in your mouth makeing obscene noises feeling you relax he took the chance and slowly begun stretching you around him ,you gasped at the slight sting pulling back rest your forehead on his grunting softly as he kept a slow steady pressure finally knocking his hips with yours you panted feeling your walls fluttering around him then squeezing

"shit Bruce" he huffed out a laugh flexing in response

"carefull there babe" you grunted feeling stuffed full as his head pushed against your cervix.

"Bruce please...HUrry up!" you clenched him stealing his breath from him he gave a playfull glare you felt a little tremor of apprehension as he repostioned your legs higher on his hips placing your heels into his lower back before plowing you into the sofa grunting and growling as his thrusts rocked your body you were by no means quiet as the veins on his cock massaged your walls with delicious friction he slowed then pressed himself tight against your clit rotating catching your gspot you bucked violenty against him head thrown back as you wailed he leaned up sucking and biting at your neck then resumed finding a brutal pace aiming for your gspot hitting it with pinpoint accuracy. You shook your head screaming out uncontrollably bucking begging for him to go harder, faster just wanting more. It wasn't long befor you saw stars letting out a silent scream tensing before you snapped cumming around him almost blinded as he rode you through it still hitting your spot faster if that was even possible before stuttering his hips holding himself tight locking you both together as he flooded you.

"OH GOD fuck FUCK yesyesyes good girl yes fuck" he moaned as you lay beneath him, limp body still quacking in the aftermath of your own end. He stayed still until he was soft catching his breath recovering before you removing himself he sat back on his knees watching as he leaked from you quick to scoop his cum and press it back within you, you whined still painfully oversensitive trying to pull away from his invading fingers. he chuckled as you squirmed utterly spent.

"nooo bruce" you whined as he prodded your freshly fucked pussy lighly grazing your abused clit causing you to whine at him pitifully jolting with every swipe.

"Aww baby are you sore?" you pouted at his words nodding he got up sitting you up handing you your forgotton drink you took it gulping it down ignoring the burn. he retrived his boxers throwing them on then a soft blanket covering you before scooping you up heading for the door.

"Bruce? what are you doing?" you asked gorgily already struggiljng to stay awake he leant down shutting you up with a kiss.

"We are going to bed you need some sleep before we continue." you blinked

"wha?" he grinned cheekily

"well how are we going to build up your stamina if we dont push past your exhaustion?" you almost cried just wanting to sleep.

"What about Alfred dinner?" you questioned

"He didnt make any I had to have a reason to get you here didnt I? he went to bed. and dont worry about Jack he is staying over in a room next to Damien's" you looked at him shocked

"What why was he here? do you think he could have heard me? bruce!" you panicked suddenly fully awake trying to wiggle out of his grip he laughed kissing your face.

"Oh my god what about our clothes? Bruce go back and shit we made a mess i need to clean that up..Bruce are you listening?" You created as he continued further away from the room youd just soild.

"he didnt hear you at all it was one of his demands when we planned this. And dont worry about the room or the clothes alfred will take care of it" he said scaling the stairs with ease taking you to his room

"planned? you who else knew? And what do you mean alfred will take care of it? no absolutly not that is embarassing" you argued as he kicked the door to his room shut behind him depositing you on his bed following you down landing above you kissing you again.

"me alfred damien and jack planned it but dick and jason knew too thats why they are scarce and alfred has cleard up worse trust me." he explained you stared at him in horror

"My little brother set me up with you?oh my god I'm not going to live that down and i need to clear that up its to embarassing for alfred to see" you cried he laughed out loud.

"Well I think its was worth it, and you can try and beat Alfred to it but that room will be ccleared up before sunrise and you won't be leaving this bed before then" he said snuggling up with you under the cover ,you made a noise as he tucked you into his chest his heart beat calming you making you drift into a peaceful sleep resting on his chest, feeling safe and sound wrapped up in him as he traced patterns on your back, sighing he was finally content a peace he hadnt known befor washed over him satisfied that he had found the woman that would complete his family, his chest swelled as he placed a kiss on your head. He wasn't ever letting you go now that he had you here. Glancing over at the clock, hed give you an hour or so to build up some energy before he woke you smirkjng to himslef planing all the wicked ways he was going to toy with you during the night. Oh yes the night was young and if Bruce had his way you wouldnt be leaving his bed tomorrow because you wouldnt be able to, thankfully you hade a few days off so he might let you recover. Then again he might not.

[dysfunctionalnerd]

I was wondering ... how would Randall react to Evil! Layton? or Monocle! Layton(by the way your drawings are amazing!)

ahhh thank u so much!! that means so much to me ;u; oh my GOSH MONACLE LAYTON!!! i havent thought about him organically in too long sksksks

well so ok if i had to make layton evil at any point in time, the way id do it would be after unwound future. it would be about 2 years after he found randall, but in this scenario he never worked up the courage to call randall or go back and visit after he left Monte D'or so abrubtly, which means losing that friendship was already weighing on his heart. so then after UF, losing claire and luke in the span of the same week... its too much for him. Crying in his room one night, he says "so this is it then? am i destined to always lose the people i love? i will simply never love again." and he snaps. he gets cold and distant, doesnt allow the kindness of others to reach him. all he wants now is vengance, and this man has been wronged by soooooo many people.

The only person still living with him is flora at this point. at first she lets things slide. things like seeing hersh withdraw into his study for too long, or drink too late into the night. but then she notices he stays in his room for days at a time, clearly working on something, but he gets so rude when asked about what. shes always met with answers like "its none of your concern" or "dont ask questions you're not prepared to hear the answer to", until one day she really puts her foot down. Demands to know whats going on. Shes so worried. But hershel screams at her to go away. an ugly, terrible yelling nobody deserves. and its so cold she just,, runs away crying. she cant think of anybody to reach out for help. she doesnt know anybody, she was never allowed to go out and make friends.

until she remembers the stories luke told her about the man they saved in Monte D'or, and she remembers how softly hershel would smile the precious few times he mentioned he name randall.

so she pulls up a phone book and looks up a Randall Ascot. Its not hard considering he owns an entire fucking town. shes crying and scared and alone, and when randall picks up the phone, he is of course concerned. hes never met this girl, but nobody should by crying this much, and then his heart breaks when he realizes its hershel who did this. He was always hurt by how hershel never said goodbye, and never called again to rekindle their friendship. at first he doesn't want to come over, but flora begs him.

"please, randall, you have to help. I know i hardly know you but... nobody else can reach him, i just know it".

so he grabs the nearest train. tells flora take take it easy at a bougie hotel for a night while he makes the trip over, pays for everything ofc. the two meet up. randall falls in love with this girl in .5 seconds (yknow in that "ive only met this girl for 10 minutes but if anything were to happen to her id kill everyone in this room and then myself" kind of way). They decide to just go to hershels flat and knock. he doesnt answer. they knock again. nothing. randall gets worried. he breaks down the door, shouts for hershel. Nobodys there. the place is empty. they enter hershels study to make sure, but what they find horrifies them. a GIANT charlie kelly style board with a bunch of pictures of different people, mostly people connected to bill hawks, and red lines connecting them stand before the two, and they both know in their gut its a hit list of some kind.

so they run to parliment or whatever building it is those goverment people all stay in, hoping its not too late, hope maybe their suspicions arent true. Theyre horrified when they reach the front steps and theres no guards or anything. sirens are blaring. they run down the halls. injured soldier's and police are telling them to turn back, its not worth it, this man is unstoppable.

"please dont let it be hershel, please dont let it be hershel."

flora stops when they reach the big door. she looks up at randall, crying. "im sorry... but i cant go in. i dont want to face him like this."

randall hugs her, reassures her. tells her its ok to wait by the entrance, that everything will be ok.

Flora rushes off, and randall takes a deep breath. He opens the door where bill hawks office is supposed to be. Randalls heart sinks. in the big chair is hershel, a sword covered in red, and tied to chains too close to the fire place is a beat up bill hawks.

hershel greets him coldly, like strangers.

"ah hello there. im sorry, but the prime minister cannot assist you today. please come back later."

"hershel, what are you doing??? that sword.... have you??"

"killed someone? no..." he hops off his chair and points his sword to bill hawks, far too close to the neck. "no not yet. but if youd like, you can join me for the first one."

Randall picks up a pipe or something close to him. "i cant let you do this hershel... i know youre better than this."

"ah, but you see, thats the thing." his blade lightly touches bills neck. "i could be, but then... whats the point?" then he scoffs, and pulls his sword away, pointing it towards randall in a battle stance. "never mind, you could never understand."

and he charges. AND THE EPIC SWORD FIGHT BETWEEN HERSHEL AND RANDALL THAT WE WERE ROBBED OF COMENCES! Randall, between parrys, is in total disbelief. "Hershel, stop it! i know how youre feeling, but this isnt the solution! youre tired, and scared, and unbelievably hurt. youre in so much pain... this isn't going to end that pain!"

clink, parry

"you couldnt possibly know what im feeling. ive lost everyone. but its no matter."

for a moment it looks like hershel is about to pin randall down, but he swoops away at the last minute.

"No, please hershel, you cant think like that!! youre not alone!! not anymore!! You didnt give up on the masked gentleman... let me return the favor!"

hershel gasps at this, and hesitates. its enough for randall to knock hershels sword out of his hands, and pin him to the ground. Hershel is afraid, his eyes are wide.

"r-randall, stop it!! leave me alone!"

"no!" randall throws the pipe he fought with aside. "not until you make things right!" he starts crying, his tears spill on hershels shirt. "not until i get my best friend back..."

hershel can't take it anymore. He screams, and starts crying uncontrollably. that ugly crying you reserve for your worst moments, and randall softens his grip on hersh, changes it so hes hugging his friend. And hershel just cries and cries and cries.

"i... i just dont want to live like this anymore..." he sobs.

"hershel.... oh hershel, im so, so sorry."

and they continue to cry. eventually randall asks what happened, how it got to this. hershel explains the events of the last few years. how luke left. how bill hawks sent men to beat him to an inch of his life 8 years ago, so really this is just him returning the favor. they talk it out.

"hershel... you owe flora an apology"

and hershel starts crying even more. "oh no, how could i do this to her?? im a monster..."

"nonsense! shes just worried about you, we all just want you to be ok. give her time, you two will be ok."

so slowly, randall convinces hershel to take his hand and walk out before some real irreverasble damage is done. they dont untie bill tho :) hershel comes face to face with flora at the entrance. starts stuttering some words, but jever gets around to saying anything bc flora hugs hershel so tightly, and cries into his chest. "professor i was so worried..."

"i.... im so sorry...."

and thats it!! the police dont do anything bc i dont believe in them, hawks eventually gets voted out. they all go home and randall decides to stay with hershel until he find a therapist. then decides to stay with him until he starts smiling again, then because i mean whos gonna help out with flora?? and then bc honestly hershel, this place is a mess! and then,,,,, well,,,,,, yknow,, 👀👀

[sorin-in-the-sixth-sense]

A list of my favourite fictional grey characters (not in order) SPOILER ALERT!

Regina Mills (Once Upon A Time)

There is a reason why Regina is called «The Evil Queen» She was pure evil. A murderer, a kidnapper, a rapist, how could I like her? Well it wasnt before season 3 I started to like her. It took a lot of time. And I suppose I will never fully love her after she raped Graham for...years... and murdered people - children when she was a tiny bit frustrated. I would even say that she is irredeemable. And I thought her redemtion arc was unrealistic in the beginning, and for God’s sake, she should not have been crowned The Good Queen in season 7. But she tried to change so hard for Henry, she tried to redeem herself. Tried to be a good mother for a change. She saved multiple lives and souls. She didnt completely redeem herself, I must admit it. But she tried so hard and I feel like she deserves something from that. She eventually became a very good mother, even though it was a little late since Henry was already 12 when she became one. She was still a bitter bitch and blamed innocent people for unfortunate things that happened to her (Zelena, Mary Margaret, Emma) but by season 7, she became something more than that. She became half good. Grey. And even though she didnt completely redeem herself, she came close. Also, I love her sassy personality, she should be crowned The Sassy Queen, not The Good Queen.

Rumplestiltskin (Once Upon A Time)

The Dark One who after 7 seasons became one of the greatest heroes in OUAT. The man who was known as the village coward because he ran away from the Ogre War and was too afraid to fight for his wife became one of the bravest men. Like Regina, he was a murderer. He was super manipulative with all his deals and the «all magic comes with a price, dearie» thing. He manipulated people into getting themselves killed. Before he became The Dark One, he was a good man with a pure heart. But the power of the dagger took over him and his heart was all black. He was power sick. He always wanted power, but not for selfish reasons. He felt like he needed power to protect his son Bealfire/Neal and his wife Milah, but when he took that power, the darkness came over him and he, after time, became evil. It wasn’t before he met Belle French his heart showed a little bit of light. As he said, she was his light in an ocean of darkness. Their relationship was problematic and selfish in the beginning. He manipulated her into thinking he changed (which you know i detest *cough* James Potter) Rumple loved power more than he loved her, at least in season 4. He too often chose it over her, until season 6 when he started to properly redeem himself. His redemtion arc took over 300 years but it came in the end. His love for her changed A LOT. In the other seasons, his love was unhealthy and selfish. But in season 6 and 7, he changed a lot. This time it wasnt only for Belle, but Gideon too. They helped him let go of power and in season 7, he tried so hard to get rid of the dagger and the power so that he could live a normal life with his family. And after Belle died, he didn’t return to the dagger or the dark side. He helped the good side to defeat Drizella and the other villians in that season. He even became a father figure to Alice. And in the end he sacrificed himself to save Killian’s (Nook) life. And he got reunited with Belle. He is the most interesting character in OUAT, no doubt there.

Sawyer/James Ford (LOST)

Sawyer is without a doubt one of my fave characters from LOST (after Charlie and John) in his background, he was a thief and manipulated woman to believe he loved them, just to take all their money. (Maybe except Cassidy, since he fell in love with her later, but he still manipulated her AND got her pregnant) He’s a real asshole. Buuut - then he became an entirely different (and better) man. He meets Kate Austen and I feel like his love for her changes his character. In the beginning he was a bit of a perve with her (i mean, walking straight towards her completely naked...) he doesnt develope much in the 1 season, but later (beginning in the 3 season) he becomes quite selfless and protective. In season (was it 4? I dont quite remember) he falls in love again with Juliet Burke, and heeeeell, she was good for him. He also developes a nice relationship with Claire Littleton (platonic) he becomes protective of her. He attemts to comfort Hurley after Charlie’s death. In the rest of the seasons he is the born leader. He puts the team before himself (like when he sacrificed his chance to escape the Island) and in the paralell universe he is absolutely the best.

Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights)

Okay, no he’s not exactly a grey character since he’s a lot more dark than light, but I love him too much to not put him here. Differently from the other character I’ve mentioned above, Heathcliff doesnt have a redemtion. He died an awful person. He abused and manipulated a lot of people. Before he became this asshole, he was a much better person. He was an ass to those who deserved it (Hindley, That bitch deserved to die so young. Edward was a kind man, but I don’t like him, sooo... nevermind) The way he treated Isabella was sickening and awful, she had every right to leave him and take Linton away and hate him. I Don’t like Isabella, but she never deserved to be treated that way. His love for Cathy was unhealthy, but it was true and he would do so much for her. (They kinda remind me of Snily, so ofc I ship it) Heathcliff went through so much trauma in his life and never recovered. After Cathy died, he was practically dead too, then he killed himself years later. His life made me cry for days, especially the ending. He is such an interesting character with so many layers.

Ulrich Nielsen (Dark)

(Before I say anything, I haven’t finished the entire show yet, so this is gonna be short and probably not 100% correct)

To be honest, I don’t like Ulrich at all as a person. I look at him and I see a fully grown up man with no remorse for what he did to Regina as a teen. He cheated on his wife with a woman he didnt even love. He tried to murder a CHILD who hadnt done anything wrong (yet) because he thought he was going to kill his brother and son in the future (okay, i get why he did it. He was desperate to get Mikkel back and the whole time-tarvelig thing was extremely stressfull) BUT HE COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING A LOT LESS HARMFULL TO PREVENT EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN. Despite this, i love him as a character. He is so interesting and there are times were I have to remind myself why i dont like him. He is brave and intelligent and... so fucking hot as a teen.

Hannah Kahnwald (Dark)

(Again, havent watched the whole show yet)

This girl is MESSED UP. When she was fourteen, she accused Ulrich of being a rapist, which is a very serious accusation and then blamed it on Regina who she knew was a victim of Ulrich and Katharina’s bullying. She is a home-wrecker, and when Katharina found out about Ulrich cheating on her with Hannah and confronted her, Hannah blamed it on Ulrich and said he pressed her and that she wanted it to end, but he refused or whatever, i dont 100% remember the conversation. But she was also a very good mother to Jonas and she was so sweet to Mikkel/Michael. She is a bitch, so much that its impossible to not like her.

Severus Snape (Harry Potter)

Saved the best one to last. The guy my whole account is about, ofc he’s on this list, and ofc this is gonna be the longest text.

This guy is a complete asshole. Always has been, always will be. He bullied Harry and Co (mostly Harry and Neville) he was a bitter and sarcastic bitch. He used to be a follower of Voldemort. Even in his youth he had a lot of flaws. We all know he became the bastard he was due to childhood trauma, mental illnesses and manipulation. I believe he had depression, grief and PTSD. At least in his 20’s he was suicidal, and I believe it remained like that til the day he died, because he had no one to help him or give him support. He turned to the dark side in an attemt to make his life better (as many members of gangs do) but he only stayed like that for two years, which is extremely impressive if you know what kind of person Voldemort is. As a 21 year old, Snape was a very different person from what he was as a 38 year old. If he was the way he was as a 38 yr old when Lily, James and Harry was in danger. First of all, he wouldnt start to try to save Lily by asking Voldemort, he would have went straight to Dumbledore, probably with his own brilliant plan on how to save them. Second, he wouldnt hesitate for a second to save James and Harry to. In canon, he needed to have a personal reason to save them, which was Lily’s feelings I believe. As a 38 yr old, he risked his life to save people he hated (Lupin) This is a great character developement. He went from being a selfish bitch, to become a selfless asshole. He was that kind of person who did anything in his power to protect someone, even if that person had nothing to do with winning the war and had nothing to gain himself.

[ace-pervert]

Ive finished watching eleven seasons of rupauls drag race and now feel I am ready to briefly review each season

S1: A good start though it must be said, ONGINA WAS ROBBED! Also there was favoritism.

S2: Not a bad season but at least somewhat ruined by Rupauls rather overt favoritism towards Tyra and dislike of Pandora. While I didnt like Tyra on the show his callout of the entire drag community after leaving drag has given me massive respect for him and feels like karma for RuPauls rather blatant self promotion and attempts to turn himself into some kind of rolemodel. But aside from the callout and Jujube, and Pandora the season is unmemorable.

S3: The top three were all highly skilled and the winner seemed to deserve it though that was later put into doubt after it came to light that Raja had worked with RuPaul before the show aired, and lets be honest Manilla Luzon was much more talented.

S4: One of the best seasons in drag race history, has the best music video, and Sharron Needles is hands down the most influential and versatile queen in drag race history. The only bad part, aside from the editing against phi phi, is Latrice Royal, who, and I feel this needs to be said, wouldnt have been in the top four had Willam stayed, and certainly wouldnt have made top five if Alaska had been allowed to join, mostly because she kept showing a similar outfit, her not being a particularly good actor, being thrown off really easily, and quickly relying on a shtick.

S5: Good season, but I feel that Roxxxy really did end up in the top three only because Visage and Ru love drama and the Jersey Shore look that was at the time Roxxxy Andrews trademark look, and the Coco Alyssa drama was really dull, neither deserved to be as high as ended up, and ultimately both queens are unmemorable.

S6: Not a bad season but i'm not a fan of Courtney Act or miss Lake, mostly because I think they both get away with looks that really they shouldnt have gotten away with, though arguable so did Bendelacreme. Though it was nice that there wasnt any drama, and Bianca del Rio is really funny.

S7: Ive tried to come up with words to describe this season, I cant, its just that bad. No not bad just dull, really dull and awkward, and the worst part is that its not the queens who drag the season down, the queens themselves are fine and Pearl stands out as being a particularly interresting person when not on drag race, its RuPaul being a tool off camera and coming up with challenges that play to the queens weaknesses rather strengths.

S8: Unfortunately I found Bob the Drag Queen so attractive out of drag that I stopped caring about what he looked like in drag with the end result being that I have no idea if hes a good drag queen. But ignoring the moments where I was drooling over Bob it was a good season with some truly great outfits,and a good Snatch Game, that wether for good or bad did very quickly become the Bob the drag queen and Kim Chi show, making it in hindsight the second most plann

S9: The season started off with an appearance by Lady Gaga , whose reviews of the outfits consisted of little more than name dropping and not much else, unintentionally setting the tone for a dull and awkward season with a cheerleading challenge that causes one person to crack a rib and another to almost permanently lose their ability to dance, a Reality Star Rusical that is well just dull, painfully bad lipsinks, uninterresting outfits, and perhaps the blandest wierd drag queen in the history of the competition. Its also in this season that introduced the lipsink for the crown format that I personally despise as it takes the power away from the viewers and puts it back in Rupauls hand.

S10: Solid season, mostly focused on returning contestant Eureka but the other contestants are given enough focus that it feels natural. The challenges are interresting to watch, the snatchgame is funny, and the dresses are well made. The top four are all stars in their right and the winner of that season could have easily been any of them, making this the only season where a lipsink for the crown made sense.

S11: Starts off strong with people like Miss Vanjie, Brooke Lynne Hytes, Nina West and Yvie Oddly revealing a high degree of skill both as actors and as dress makers. Unfortunately the blatant favoritism of Rupaul, the judges, and the producers towards Silky Nutmeg Ganache (honestly they seem like a nice person in real life, but on the show they just seem like a tool), unimaginative challenges, distracting and irritating cameos by former drag race contestants including by Bianca whos dull and unentertaining appearance shows exactly why contestants shouldnt return at all, a rusical so god cringeworthy you'll pray for death (Trump the Rusical), the worst snatch game in drag race history, and painfully predictable twists result in a terrible season, with the only interresting things being the romance between Vanjie and Brooke (they broke up four months after the last episode before the reunion due to conflicting schedules), Miss Vanjie being well himself, Nina Wests acting, and Yvie Oddly's outfits .

S12: Havent seen it, but lets be honest this season is the one where the star is a sex offender. By now many fans have analysed the season and its become clear that the person who was intended to be the focal point and possible winner was Sherry Pie, which means that editing them out for very well known reasons also makes them the focal point just in a different way than intended. Hell it wouldnt surprise me if this season becomes known as the one with Sherry Pie, not the one where the winner won. Though it might also be the last season that RuPauls on, as there are rumors that hes stopping with drag race.

The Christmass Special: To short for a christmass special, to much like the other episodes to be special, to blatantly commercial to be Christmass, and to scripted, even by drag race standards, to be drag race.

And now for a review of the Judges themselves

RuPaul: On the outside a warm, outspoken, well meaning person whose done things which are truly groundbreaking. But beneath that warm exterior beats the stone cold heart of a businessman. He's calculating, manipulative, greedy, has no qualms about setting queens up for failure, and ultimately hasnt done much that could be seen as groundbreaking. Perhaps the worst part is that its clear that in terms of humor , mentality and fashion hes never left the 70s, which combined with his callous way of treating the enviroment (as shown by his fracking empire) and his history of transpobia, makes him a liability to the show. Even if you manage to ignore all of that, the show is ultimately about the drag queens, not about Rupaul, and Rupauls attemps to make it about him really drag the show down

Michelle Visage: Shes a mother of two teenagers with a stay at home husband pretending to be a bitchy whore on a tv show about drag queens, yeah thats her career. Now in truth thats not the biggest issue, the biggest issue is that shes got hangups and makes the same jokes over over again and that after being on the show for ten years she hasnt developed as a judge so the routine, to paphrase miss Visage herself, has been done to death. In truth the show needs something other than the same damn shtick and same damn comments all the time, and if she cant do it then she should quite so someone else can do it for her. Ok maybe thats the second biggest issue, the biggest is that she kisses RuPaul's ass untill it shines brighter than a mirror.

Valentino Rice: Good judge, and had great chemistry with the other judges.

Ross Mathews: Cute guy, wierdly charming, and interacts well with the others.

Carson Kressley: He comes across as a very tired, very frail, very gay but very very very dull ninety year old man, which makes sense given the fact that his entire career is based on being gay, and hes, well old. Ok hes not really old, hes 50, but on camera he looks and acts closer to 150. And the issue isnt that hes gay, its that hes doing a shtick, a very dull and fairly offensive shtick. Possibly the worst choice for a judge, and the show jumps in quality whenever hes not there.

Now for a few things that just bug me.

Favoritism: Unfortunately one of the biggest issues of the show is that seasons tend to be structured around Queens who are intended to be the winner, or at least the hero, from the get go, which has the advantage of allowing the creators of the show to change the structure and challenges from season to season, but also makes it hard to watch if the season is blatant in its favoritism, if the intended winner isnt that good, or if the winner gets eliminated for one reason or another.

Cameos by former contestants: Cameos are a great way to get people to say "I know that person" which is great in a tv show because you know that the cast wont change in the next episode, but not great in a competition where all it does is take away screentime from competitors and giving it to competitors who most likely did not do well enough to win in their own drag race, and even if they did, the show is not about them, but about the current contestants. As such if Ru wants them to return he should put them in All Stars.

Cameos by celebrities: Add nothing. Its drag race not the red carpet, i'm watching for the up and coming drag queens not famous people trying to boost their careers.

Adding politics to the show: No, just no. Dont do things like Trump the Rusical, dont have steven colbert do a voiceover, theres no way that can go well and it comes accross as virtue signaling. If Ru wants to do something good he should double the prize money and have half of the money go to a charity of the winners choosing, or stop fracking.

Adding politics outside of the Show: Drag queens are celebrities and entertainers, as such are constantly in the public eye and dependent on being in it for their income which means that anything they say in public, wether its gossiping, or discussing politics, needs to be viewed as being some form of self promotion. Now this might make things difficult for them, but it is a well known part of being an entertainer so it can be assumed that they were well aware of this before they joined Drag Race. If they do want to talk about politics without being viewed as self promoting, they are free to make an anonymous account on one of the many sites, like tumblr, where its assumed that no one knows who the other people are.

Family Friendly Drag: Lets be honest its men shoving their cocks up their own asses while dressing up as women, and naking refferences to sex, for the sake of entertainment. Thers nothing family friendly about it. Nor should there be as part of the appeal of drag is that its something that is restricted to adults. Likewise they arent heroes, they are entertainers, not doctors, not construction workers, entertainers no more worthy of praise then a person on a sitcom.

Drama outside of Drag Race: While drama on the show is to be expected and is part of what makes it entertaining, drama outside of the show is different its more personal and something that in truth should not be shared. However by presenting it as gossip on various shows they are saying its part of the show, which is unhealthy at best.

Final note.

While I am critising the Drag Race, I am not doing it because I dislike the show, I am infact a big fan of the show but at the same time I want to get my thoughts out there see how others view these topics.

[songofseraphine]

A Betrothal of Destiny

Part Five of The Song of Seraphine

A/N: Hello there and thank you for the likes and follows.  Just wanted to give a heads up and a WARNING.  This is the ONLY chapter I plan on having to do with the show so if you havent seen the banquet episode I would stop now!

Warnings: Spoilery and there will be violence!

Part One        Part Two      Part Three      Part Four

Two weeks had passed and Sera could honestly say she was enjoying life Cintra’s court.  She had spent the days in the castle library, reading about anything she could get her hands on.  Then, the evenings she would spend with Pavetta, usually over supper.  She had grown to like the princess in a short time and found that they never ran out of things to talk about.  

              “I just don’t understand all these royal traditions, Pavetta.  But then again, look at me,” she said gesturing to herself.  While she was dressed as a true lady from head to toe, her skirts were well wrinkled from sitting comfortably in a chair to read a book and her hair, just a few inches past her collar bone now, was a mess of untamable waves and curls.  “But I just do not understand why you cannot choose a husband.  You are the princess after all… not to mention the future queen.  And if your mother is so against the rules set by men why does she not make her own?  She claims to be this headstrong queen that is feared yet respected,” Sera said as the two sat on a sofa near the hearth in Pavetta’s room.  It was late in the evening and both women were three glasses of wine into the night.

              Pavetta laughed at Sera’s words then shushed her.  “You should watch what you say, Sera, someone could take your words as treason,” she said and this time they both laughed.

              Sera rolled her eyes then finished off her wine.  She set the cup on the ground at her feet and looked to Pavetta.  “You deserve to be happy, Pavetta.  You do not deserve to be forced into a marriage with a man that will only love you as long as it takes to have an heir,” she said, the word rolling off her tongue before she could stop them.  Pavetta’s gaze locked onto her own and Sera cursed herself from the sight of tears welling in her eyes.  “Fuck,” she said then reached out for her friend’s hand.  “Pavetta, I am sorry.  I would blame my lack of filter on the wine but I am unfortunately always this bold,” she said as if trying to lighten the mood.

              Pavetta smiled just enough to make Sera feel less horrible about what she had said.  “I only wish to be with Duny,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes with her free hand.  Sera squeezed the one she held in her own grasp and rubbed her thumb along the back of her hand as if to sooth her.  Pavetta had told her all about the love affair she had with a man named Duny one of her first nights in court.  At first she was caught off guard, thinking the princess was more of a rule follower. The story she told Sera of the cursed man and a child surprise was enough to open her heart to Pavetta and consider her a friend.  Sera looked at Pavetta and she regained herself, wiping the tears away and fixing her posture just as a princess should.  “Look at me.  My mother would be disgusted with these waterworks,” she said then took a long last drink of her wine.  “Have you thought about what you want from her by the way?  You can have anything you know, she wasn’t jesting about that. Land�� a title… money?”

              Sera shook her head and grinned.  “No, those things are just means to an end,” she said while looking into the flames in the hearth.

              “Then what is it you want?” she asked.

              Sera’s shoulders tensed and she ran her now sweating palms over her skirts. She took a deep breath and glanced over to see Pavetta’s concerned features.  “Justice.  I want justice for me and my sister,” she said.  Her voice was so low she wasn’t completely sure Pavetta had heard her. But when Sera looked at her again and saw her brows were knitted together and her eyes were filled with so many questions, she knew she had indeed heard her.  So Sera took a deep breath and told her everything from the moment the mayor was introduced to her sister to the events that brought her to Cintra.  And when she was done telling her story she was met with complete silence other than the crackling of the fire.  That sound made her think of Geralt and how he had the same reaction when she told him everything.  

              “You want to strike him down from his position, in tern freeing your sister’s name,” she said in realization.  Sera was almost surprised by the lack of questioning why she hadn’t told the truth sooner.  “And then what will you do?  Return home?” she asked but Sera quickly shook her head.  

              “No, I can’t do back.  I don’t belong there anymore,” she said as she thought about the connection her sister and Will now had.  “It would be too much,” she admitted while looking at her friend.

              Pavetta nodded.  “I will talk to my mother about getting Mayor Ferdand stripped of his title and position and restore the good name of your sister, Faline,” she said.  She spoke like a queen then and Sera knew that one day Pavetta would make an excellent and just ruler.  Her vision blurred making her realize that she was now the one with the water works, as Calanthe would call it, and she didn’t care.  

 The day of the banquet was upon them and Seraphine was ready for it to be over before it began.  To see her friend’s future be bartered off after the peacocking of men was not something she would take joy in as tradition expected her to.  Instead she would go as a sign of moral support for the young princess, in hopes to make the situation a little more endurable. As the maids, assigned to her by Queen Calanthe, dressed her in a gown that cost more than anything she had ever worn, Seraphine began to wonder if this was the place for her.  Tight dresses and the expectation of a woman to have a silent tongue did not suite her but luckily the court was a little more lax thanks to the Queen.  After the ladies braided back half of Sera’s hair she was permitted to take a look in the mirror.  She was taken back by the woman that looked back at her.  She had never seen herself this nicely dressed and for a moment she thought that she herself looked passible for a princess.

              “Queen Calanthe had to ride out yesterday to solve some quarrels by the docks. We are sure she will return for the betrothal ceremony of Pavetta,” said one of the maids.  Sera nodded and followed them out of her chambers and down the long halls of the castle.  They led her to the banquet hall that was already filled with lords and ladies of the kingdom along with many suitors for Pavetta.  Sera did not hesitate with making her way to Pavetta’s side at the long table.

              Her friends feature softened almost instantly and she seemed to relax quite a bit once Sera took her seat beside her.  “It will be over before you know it, Pavetta,” she said while reaching her hand under the table to grasp her friend’s.  “And I will be at your side.”  

              Pavetta gave a hint of a smile through the despair she was feeling.  “Sera, I have been meaning to ask you… will you stay here in Cintra?  You will always have a place at my table and my side in court. You could come and go as you please…” she said making Sera turn to her friend.

             “Pavetta…” she began but stopped when the shouting of a man interrupted her.

             “Geralt of Rivia, the Mighty Witcher!” said the man Sera recognized as Mousesack the mage whom she had yet had the pleasure of meeting. She stilled in her chair and her eyes caught the sight of the silver haired man standing at the opposite end of the banquet hall.  

              “Sera… Sera are you alright?” she heard Pavetta ask, pulling her attention from Geralt.  “Do you know that witcher?”

               Sera took the closest chalice of wine and gulped down a bit as she nodded.  She cleared her throat.  “Geralt is the man that lied to those bounty hunters and saved my life twice now.  We have a theme of running into one another it seems,” she said, allowing herself to take another look in his direction. This time she was met with his honey-gold orbs staring back at her and even though Sera had never considered herself the blushing type, she felt her cheeks grow warm under his gaze.

               Pavetta witnessed this reaction and smiled.  “Is that so?” she grinned when Sera turned back to her.  Her eyes flickered in the direction of Geralt and back to the princess.  “Go and talk to him, I will be fine right here,” she said, knowing that was what Sera wanted.  

               Sera thanked her with a nod and stood from her chair. She made sure to still walk with grace as she approached the witcher and the mage, whom both had their eyes on her. As she approached the mage spoke again. “Josanna?” he said, the name stopping Sera in her tracks.  

               She still managed to shake her head despite feeling a wave of emotions.  “No, I am Seraphine.  Josanna was my mother,” she said.  She knew her mother had lived in the kingdom of Cintra as a young woman so there was a possibility that was how the mage knew her.  

                He studied her a moment longer then shook his head. “Look at me, where are my manners? I am Mousesack, the mage.  The Queen mentioned you had stayed in court after saving the princess.  I supposed we just never had the opportunity to meet,” he said with a laugh, attempting to brush off the tension from the moment before.  Her eyes travelled to Geralt, who still was watching her under his intense stare.  “Let me introduce the witcher, Geralt of Rivia, an old friend of mine.  From what Calanthe has told me of you, Seraphine, I would imagine you two would get along rather well,” he said as he put a hand on Geralt’s shoulder, in a friendly manner.

                 Sera grinned while her eyes were still cast on the silver-haired man in front of her.  “We have already had the pleasure of being acquainted, Mousesack, but thank you,” she said.  As Mousesack began to realize his presence was being forgotten about by the pair, he excused himself and made his way to table of men.  Sera looked Geralt up and down, noting his common attire and his kept hair, an appearance she was not familiar with since the last two times she had seen him.  “You look… different.  I have to say I think the leather armor suites you best, though it is nice to see you all cleaned up,” she said, earning a fraction of a smile from the man.

              “You look different as well.  Seems like life at court is treating you well, I almost didn’t recognize you,” he said, his voice the same gruffness as she remembered. His eyes moved from hers and across the room to the bard he had arrived with whom was being yelled at by a man. “Excuse me,” he said as he left her side to aid the situation.  She watched as Geralt went to them and smoothed over whatever situation the bard had already gotten himself in.  She then watched as he took two mugs of ale from the nearest table before making his way back to her side.

                “What was that about?” she asked as he handed one of the mugs to her.  She took it and let herself take a sip of the ale.

                “Just settling a debt,” he said before drinking from his own glass.

               “Ah yes, he must be the one responsible for those lovely tunes about you,” she said with a smile, this earned her a glare from the man beside her.  Her eyes scanned over the room and she couldn’t help but notice the number of people the caught taking glances over at the pair.

                She opened her mouth to speak again but was cut off by the sound of trumpets, announcing the arrival of the queen.  “All rise for Her Majesty, the Lioness, Queen Calanthe of Cintra!”

                 The pair turned to watch as Calanthe walked into the banquet hall, fully dressed in her armor, splattered in blood.  Sera’s eyes skimmed over to Pavetta who looked mortified at her mother’s appearance.  She then looked to Geralt, who looked rather amused at the queen’s appearance. “Believe it or not, this is quite normal,” she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.  His gaze fell on hers again and this time she had gotten a smile from him.

               “How did you find yourself in this court?  Mousesack said you saved the princess’ life,” he said while glancing over at where Pavetta sat.  

               “Yes, well, I killed some wild dogs that were after her. I was wounded in the process,” she said raising her left arm.  The sleeves of her grey gown covered the bandage she had.  The wound itself was almost healed but the healer insisted on dousing it in a special oil and covering with the bandage to get rid of the scarring.  He smirked and shook his head as if her getting hurt trying to save the day was no surprise.  “I am now a guest of honor, and Pavetta has just offered me a permanent position here in court, at her side, if I do choose to accept it.”

               Geralt looked down at her with raised brows. “No more monsters for you then?” he asked with a smirk then gulped down more ale.

              “No more monsters… if that’s what I want,” she said as her eyes caught his.

              “And why wouldn’t you?  No more sleeping on a hard ground, real food, warm baths… what is there that is missing?” he asked.  The mention of a warm bath made her think back to their last meeting.  The morning after that day she was woken alone, getting no word of goodbye from Geralt.  It hadn’t bothered her then but ever since he had been flitting through her dreams it was beginning to.

                Just as she was about to speak a group of men at one of the tables began arguing about manticores and what they truly looked like. In truth, Sera was thankful for the distraction, not wanting to talk about what they had been discussing before they interrupted.  One man was calling out the lie, a claim of the other man killing one which resulted in a fight. “Enough!” Calanthe yelled above them and they immediately stopped what they were doing.  She began walking down the steps from where she had been standing in front of the long table.  “We have a renowned guest here tonight,” she said.  Sera caught Geralt rolling his eyes.  “Perhaps her can declare which esteemed lord is telling the truth,” she said and all eyes were on Geralt.

              “Neither,” he said, causing another uproar from the men.

              “The Butcher of Blaviken bleats utter nonsense,” one man said.  This, Sera could tell, hit a soft spot on Geralt.  He looked over to his bard who just shook his head in plea of Geralt not making a scene.

              Geralt sighed and looked as if what he was about to say was physically paining him to do so.  “Perhaps the lords encountered rare subspecies of manticore,” he said, receiving a corner-eyed glance from Sera.  

               Queen Calanthe laughed.  “Perhaps our esteemed guest would like to entertain us with how he slayed the elves at the edge of the world?” she said.  Sera wished the woman would let it rest.  She had seen this happen on many occasions, taking a man’s words as the next line of her jests, and she was getting tired of it.

                 Her hand naturally, and without thought, rested on the back of Geralt’s arm and he remained collected.  “There was no slaying.  I had my ass kicked by a ragged band of elves,” he said earning an eruption of laugher.  “I was about to have my throat cut when Filavandrel let me go,” he said which begged questions of the songs that bragged about him slaying the elves.  “At least when Filivandrel’s blade kissed my throat I didn’t shit myself.  Which is all I can hope for you, good lords.  At your final breath, a shitless death,” he said as he raised his mug of ale in a false respect. “But I doubt it,” he said which earned more laughter. He began to turn back to Sera in hopes that the conversation was over and he would get back to talking to someone he actually tolerated.

               “Any man willing to paint himself in the shadow of his failures will make for far more interesting conversation this night,” said Calanthe with a smile.  She walked over to where Geralt and Sera stood and Sera removed her hand from Geralt’s arm as she did, not wanting to draw more attention to him.  “It seems I will have two guests of honor tonight. Please witcher, join me at my table as I go and change,” she said then turned to walk away but stopped.  “I also expect the tale of how you two know one another,” she said with a grin then left them standing there.

               Sera let out a sigh, regretting being here in the first place.  “Is it too late for us to leave?” Geralt asked getting a pitiful excuse for a laugh from Sera.

               “Unfortunately I cannot.  I promised Pavetta I would be at her side until this was over, otherwise I would have left with you the moment you walked into this hall,” she said whole taking a glance over at where Pavetta still sat then directing her gaze back to Geralt.

               “Shame, I could think of better things to occupy my time with,” he said, his eyes travelling to her own.

                Sera felt her jaw drop but quickly collected herself, brushing off the fact that Geralt of Rivia was being forward with her.  She cleared her throat and grinned.  “You should try talking to one of these ladies, I am sure they are the type to be easily wooed by stories of monsters and words like those,” she said, standing tall with pride on her reply.

                 Geralt smiled and opened his mouth to speak, to tell her he didn’t care for any of the ladies in this court, just as the bard approached.  “Geralt, are you trying to ruin both of our reputations in one night,” he said then turned to Sera.  “I do apologize, milady, for the intrusion but his behavior is just unacceptable.”

                “I am no lady, you may call me Seraphine,” she said with a smile and stuck her hand out to shake.  

                Instead the bard took her hand and pressed the back of it to his lips making Geralt role his eyes.  “Seraphine, the one and only!  Geralt has told me about you, the woman that bested the griffin.  I am Jaskier!  The one responsible for this man’s fame, but he never shows me thanks for that.  I would love to write a song about you,” he said. He was a talker she could tell just in the few seconds of knowing him and she also knew it took every ounce of control Geralt had to put up with him.

                “It would be an honor to be in one of your songs, Jaskier, but I fear my life is all too boring compared to that of Geralt’s. Besides… that tune, the one that is so catchy, I would hate for that to be overshadowed by a new song about a farm girl,” she said then looked to Geralt who was shaking his head.

                “Oooh, see Geralt, she likes the song,” he said and began to strum the first few chords of it on his lute.  Geralt lightly backhanded his arm to stop him even though Sera was fully prepared to sing along.  Jaskier was asked to play a song and he walked away to the other musicians.

                 She looked back to Geralt with an amused grin.  “So, you told the bard of me?” she asked making him role his eyes once again.  “Now I am intrigued, Geralt.  Why would you tell a bard about a random woman you have had the luck of stumbling upon twice?”

                 “Three times now,” he said, his eyes landing on hers. “The idiot wanted to know more details from the past year to have relevant information.  You happened to be part of that time,” he told her.

                   She nodded, he was right after all.  This was their third time meeting as if it was pure coincidence.  “So what is it then, that’s bringing us together?  Is it fate?  Destiny?” she was jesting but she could see him grow tense.  

                  “Fuck destiny,” he said, his voice even rougher than usual.

                  Sera smirked and took a step closer to him so that they were only a few inches apart.  “Then what other excuse so we have, Geralt?” she asked, her voice was soft and quiet. He would admit, only to himself, that she had a point.  The world was large but despite that they had a habit of running into one another. What Seraphine hadn’t realized was that he was also questioning it and it was something he thought about often since the last time he had seen her.   “What are you going to do after this?” she asked, pulling him from his thoughts.  

                He shrugged his shoulders and let out a signature hum. “Another contract, I suppose,” he said and she nodded.  “You really plan on staying here, in court, with a bunch of backstabbing rich people?” he asked.

                Sera shrugged her shoulders and looked over to the table of the rich people he had been referring to.  “I would stay if it meant Pavetta’s happiness.  She is being forced into a marriage to a man she will not know.  She shouldn’t have to be alone,” she said as he kept his eyes on her.  “But… I have grown so used to the ways of life out there, beyond these walls, that I don’t think I could ever truly be satisfied here,” she said and for a moment she thought about how she probably would never be truly satisfied no matter what she did.  She shook those thoughts from her mind looked to him.  “We should take our seats, Queen Calanthe will be returning soon.”

                “Hmm, if we must,” he said and they walked together to the long table.

                “Don’t say anything about the bounty hunters, I beg you. Pavetta knows but not the Queen,” she whispered.  Geralt glanced at her and nodded.  They took their seats that were quite a distance from one another as they waited for the Queen.

                 Pavetta welcomed her back with a smile.  “Well that was entertaining, at least this entire night wasn’t awful,” she said with a grin.  Sera rolled her eyes then glanced over to where Geralt sat.  “Do you not think it strange that you keep running into one another?” she asked.

                   “Keep your voice down, Pavetta, he has excellent hearing,” said Sera as she glanced over to see Geralt not looking at her but she would swear he was grinning.  She then turned back to Pavetta.  “I do find it odd,” she whispered.

                  “But…” Pavetta began with a large grin, “�� you like it,” she said making Sera’s eyes widen.  She gently swatted at Pavetta despite knowing that what her friend said was true.  Sera did indeed like running into Geralt when she least expected to.  She enjoyed seeing a familiar face in her life and she enjoyed hearing his views on things.  She found it all very refreshing.  Queen Calanthe returned and the banquet could officially begin and the men that had attended to pursue Pavetta’s hand in marriage could begin their boasting on themselves.  It went on with them bragging about their money, land, and even their potent seed, which was enough to make Sera gag.  They were nearly halfway done with the event and due to Calanthe declining each proposal it wasn’t going anywhere.  Thankfully, for Sera’s sanity, there was a break so the crowd could enjoy a few songs.

                    “Seraphine,” said Calanthe, pulling Sera out of her thought of the suitors before them.

                    “Yes, Your Majesty,” Sera said while leaning over a bit so she could look at the queen.

                   “You and the Witcher appear to have been previously acquainted.  You never mentioned you had friends of the sort,” she said while raising a brow.

                   Sera’s eyes went to Geralt for a fraction of a second then returned to the queen’s.  “In truth, my Queen, Geralt and I just have the luck of unintentionally running into one another.  This will be the third time in the last year or so,” she said.

                  “You say unintentional?  How is it that you first met?” she asked.  More people than Sera cared for were listening in on the conversation.  Again she paused and looked at Geralt.

                   “She was after the same griffin as I was,” he said.

                   Calanthe’s brows raised, a sign that she was both amazed and intrigued. “A griffin?  You are much more modest than I, Seraphine.  Had it been me defeating a griffin, everyone would have known about it,” she said and Sera shrugged her shoulders.  She then turned to Geralt.  “I recall hearing the story of another woman fighting a griffin, though that woman didn’t survive,” she said.  Sera nearly choked on the ale she was drinking, making the others look at her.

                   Luckily they were interrupted by another suitor and Sera gulped down all of her ale.  “I will speak with her when this is all over.  Out of everyone here my mother is the most likely one to be on your side,” said Pavetta while squeezing Sera’s hand under the table.  Sera nodded and turned her attention to the floor.  Just then the sound of metal clashing against metal could be heard in the hall and a knight, fully dressed in armor, came rushing into the banquet hall.

                  “Forgive my late intrusion, Your Majesty, and for the misunderstanding with your guards,” said the man as he made his wat to the center of the floor.  “Please! I come in peace,” he said as guards grew more alert at the situation.  “I need but one moment of your time.  I am Lord Urcheon of Erlenwald, and I have come to claim your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

                 Pavetta and Sera grew tense and the hold Pavetta had on her hand tightened.  “A knight, with no renown, from a backwater hamlet… who dares enter my court without revealing his face?” said Calanthe.

              “I apologize, Your Majesty.  A knight’s oath prevents me from revealing my face until the twelfth bell,” said the knight.  Sera knew better.  She knew that it was none other than Duny under that helmet.  Eist of Skellige, a friend to the Queen, didn’t care for the excuse he gave and walked right up to Duny then knocked off his helmet.

                Several gasps could be heard along with the sound of swords being unsheathed.  “Witcher… kill it,” said Calanthe.  Both Sera and Pavetta quickly looked to her in shock.

                 “No,” said Geralt.  “This is no monster,” he said and he was right.  It was only a cursed man that was also unfortunately in love with the princess.

                 Sera watched Geralt to see what he was going to do as Calanthe ordered her men to slay Duny.  Several of the guards went at him and he quickly dispatched them.  “Lioness of Cintra, I have come to claim what is rightfully mine, Pavetta by the law of surprise!” he said then looked to Pavetta.

                   But the queen had nothing to say to him.  Instead she ordered more men to attack him and Sera watched as he fought them off one by one.  She sat on the edge of her seat, not wanting to see the love of Pavetta’s life slain in front of them.  She wanted to stand up for Duny and Pavetta but feared the queen.  But as Duny was knocked to the ground and as she looked to see the queen’s reaction she noticed Geralt was missing from his chair and she suddenly didn’t care for the rule of a queen.  Sera turned back to the action in the center of the floor and watched as Geralt blocked one of Duny’s attackers by cutting his weapon in half. The queen’s response was to have them both killed.

                      Sera moved without having to think about it.  She stood from her chair and ran to the center of the hall, taking a sword from a fallen guard.  She then made her way to Geralt and Duny, putting her back to them as she began to help fight off any man that approached them.  The room was a collection of metal clashing and shouts. Sera swung her borrowed sword at an attacker and instead of killing him she hit his chest armor which knocked him off of his feet.  She stumbled backwards and her back pressed to another form.  When she turned to see if it was friend or foe she was met with the familiar face of Geralt.  He gave her a nod then gripped her arm, pulling her out of the way of another guard just before his sword would have come in contact with her.  

                     Through all of the chaos Sera hadn’t realized Calanthe had gotten up from her chair and come to the floor.  “Stop!” she said and everyone stilled, including Geralt who had his own sword crossed with hers.

                    Pavetta came down from her chair and ran into Duny’s arms. “Duny, I told you to stay away,” she said with tears streaming down her face.  Geralt glanced from Pavetta then to Sera who was still clutching her sword.

                   Duny backed away from her embrace and after putting his arms out as a sign he was no longer going to be a threat, he knelt down in front of Calanthe. “Your Majesty, I was cursed as a young boy.  My whole life, a living misery until the day I saved your husband, King Roegner, from a certain death.  By tradition, I chose the law of surprise as payment,” he said.

                 “That stupid bastard.  Better you had let him die,” said Calanthe then she turned to her daughter. “And you, carousing with the beast that swindled your stupid father!” she said.  Sera approached Pavetta and took hold of her hand, standing tall in front of the queen.

                 “Tis not swindle.  Claiming payment by the law of surprise is as old as mankind itself,” Eist said, taking Calanthe’s attention away from her daughter and Sera.  “It’s an honest gamble.  As likely to be rewarded with a bumper crop as a newborn pup… or a child of surprise.  He could not know.  Destiny has determined the prize be Pavetta.”  Duny nodded and explained how he tried to keep away from Pavetta after realizing she was the payment of law of surprise.  He explained that it was destiny that brought them together and there was nothing anyone could have done to prevent it.  Pavetta herself, after separating from Sera, supported everything Duny said.

                 “Honor destiny’s wish or unleash its wrath upon us,” said Mousesack.

                 The Queen didn’t like that answer though.  She shook her head and looked to the people in the room.  “Is there not a man amongst you who does not cower before destiny?” she asked then turned to Geralt.  “You, Witcher, who has known monsters of every fang and claw, are you afraid?”

                 “No,” he said, his voice deep.  “I’ve seen mothers lash themselves raw over the death of a child, believing they crossed destiny, ignoring the stench of the fifty other children in the plague cart outside. Destiny helps people believe there’s an order to this horseshit.  There isn’t,” he said.  Calanthe was looking rather pleased with his answer and Sera was growing more tense by the second.  “But a promise made much be honored.  As true for a commoner as it is for a queen.”

                  Sera let out a sigh of relief as she looked at him. “I love Duny mother, I will marry him. I will finally be free,” said Pavetta while taking Duny’s hands in her own.  To Sera’s, and everyone else in the hall, relief Calanthe handed her sword off the Eist and approached the pair.  She whispered something to Duny that Sera couldn’t hear but what she did hear was the unsheathing of a blade and Pavetta’s scream.

                  An invisible force knocked Sera back into a pillar and she fell to the ground with sore limbs and all.  She felt a hand on her arm, pulling her up despite the gushing wind that continued coming from the center of the room.  “Get behind the pillar,” said Geralt as she looked up at him, shielding her face from the wind.  She nodded and crawled to the other side of the pillar as debris began flying through the air.  She laid down in the fetal position with her hands over her face and jumped when glass shattered all around the hall.  When everything stilled she peaked out from underneath her hands to see the destruction around her.  Her hands stung from small cuts caused by the shattered glass and she could feel blood running down from her hairline.  She stood and shuffled to the other side of the pillar to see Pavetta and Duny untouched by what had just happened.  The queen, after picking herself up off the ground, approached her daughter and took her into her arms.  

                    The blast of energy had come from the princess, this was obvious. “Destiny has spoken and I have listened,” Calanthe said.  “The law of surprise will be honored and Pavetta will marry Lord Urcheon,” she said and the hall was filled with the whispers of those still standing.

                   “React poorly and you won’t just face the Lioness, you will be facing the sea hounds of Skellige.  Because Queen Calanthe has agreed to my proposal of marriage,” Eist said while approaching Calanthe.  He took her hand in his and Calanthe held onto Pavetta with her free hand.

                    “There will be two vows here tonight, I hope that is agreeable,” said the Queen.  No one said a word.  Sera looked over to Geralt whom looked rather confused and as if he wanted to leave right then and there.

                    She walked over to him and stood at his side as others picked themselves up.  “You’re bleeding,” he said and she shrugged her shoulders.

                    “I will be alright,” she said while glancing up at him. “Thank you for standing up for them,” she said while motioning to where Pavetta and Duny stood.

                  “You knew,” he said, it wasn’t a question.  

                  “I did, Pavetta confided in me as I have with her,” she said while rubbing her hands together.  Geralt had picked up on this nervous habit of hers and had to stop himself from grinning.

                    “You are worried she will no longer need you to stay,” he said.

                   Sera’s eyes landed on his and she furrowed her brows wondering how he knew that.  She then looked back at the pair and shrugged her shoulders, pretending her feelings didn’t matter once again.  “If that is the case then I shall move on, I suppose,” she said then let out a bitter laugh. “She is the most consistent relationship I have had since first leaving my home… other than you.  It is sad to think I can consider seeing someone only three times in a year to be consistent,” she said.  Geralt wasn’t given the chance to say anything to her before she walked away from him and over to Pavetta.  He watched as she embraced Pavetta then stood back so the ceremony could begin.  

                    Everyone circled around the pair and many of them held candles in their hands.  Calanthe performed the hand tying portion of the ceremony and Pavetta and Duny said their vows, promising themselves to one another.  Seraphine was smiling due to the happiness she had for her friend until, after their kiss, Duny fell to his knees in pain.  Before all the eyes in the room, Duny transformed from his mutated cursed self into a normal man.  

                  “The twelfth bell has not yet rung,” said Pavetta while embracing Duny.

                  “What has happened?” Calanthe asked while looking to Mousesack.  

                    “I think your blessing of this marriage had fulfilled a destiny.  The curse has been lifted,” he said.

                   Sera looked across the room to see Geralt turning away from the spectacle and began heading for the door only to be stopped by Duny. “Wait!  You saved my life and I must repay you,” he said and Geralt turned back to look at him.

                     “You have proven yourself to be the kind of man to do the same, I want nothing,” he said while once again turning to leave.  

                    “No, please,” he said and Geralt stopped despite wanting to continue his leave.  “Please, Geralt of Rivia, do not feel like you’re doing me a service.  I cannot start a new life in the shadow of a life debt,” he said, pleading.

                      “Fine,” said Geralt, looking slightly defeated.  “I… claim the tradition as you have, the law of surprise.  Give me that which you already have but do not know,” he said.

                      Sera froze, knowing that wasn’t the brightest idea. “No!  What have you done, Witcher?” asked Calanthe as the room began to fill with whispers.  

                       “Fear not, Your Majesty, if I am seen in your kingdom again, it’ll be to kill a real monster, not lay claim to a crop or a new pup. Destiny can go fu…” he said but just as he was finishing is last word Pavetta released all of the meal she had just eaten onto the floor in front of her.  

                        Sera looked to Geralt and could see his discomfort in what had just occurred.  It was obvious now that Pavetta was indeed with child and now said child would be promised to him due to the law of surprise.  “Fuck,” he said then without saying another word, began to leave the banquet with Mousesack hot on his trail.  Sera looked to Pavetta who only gave her a nod as permission to follow him out.

                         “I will be back,” she said then shuffled around the crowds of people and the broken glass and debris then made her way to the halls. Mousesack was trying to convince Geralt to stay due to destiny but he wasn’t having any of it.  They finished their conversation and Geralt started walking down the hall disappearing around a corner towards the quickest exit while a defeated Mousesack turned around to see Sera.  “He is a stubborn one,” he said while shaking his head.  He walked past her and she hurriedly went after Geralt.

                          When she rounded the corner she almost ran right into him making her take a sharp breath.  “You’re staying,” he said.  It wasn’t a question, it was an observation.  

                         She nodded and looked back toward the banquet hall. “She could use a friend right now,” she said then turned back to him.  He nodded in return and glanced in the direction of his exit.  “But… umm… if you ever want to stop unintentionally crossing paths with one another, you do know where to find me,” she said and he looked back at her with a grin and nodded.

                        “I can’t promise that I’ll come back here… but maybe we will have the off chance of seeing each other again,” he said.

                        She nodded, leaving many things she wanted to say left unsaid.  “Well, goodbye, Geralt of Rivia.  I hope our paths continue to cross,” she said and bowed her head at him before turning and quickly walking away.  She couldn’t help but feel torn between the choice of staying with Pavetta and going off with Geralt.  She wanted to follow him out of the kingdom and return to life on the road, but she also wanted to care for her friend.  She wanted answers from Mousesack of how he knew her mother and mostly she wanted justice for herself and her sister.  None of that would be accomplished out on the road killing monsters. She would stay in Cintra, despite the pull she felt for Geralt.  In truth, Geralt had no need for her out there, not the way that Pavetta would need her at Cintra.  

                           Sera turned back into the banquet hall and was immediately met with the voice of Pavetta’s new groom, Duny.  “Lady Seraphine, come, join us,” he said while motioning to where he stood with Pavetta, Calanthe, and Eist.  Sera nodded, not arguing about the formality he had called her and joined them in the center of the hall, all eyes on her.  “Do not think I was blind to the aid you provided me and Geralt earlier this night.  Pavetta has told me of your struggles and of the false accusations that taint not only your sister but your family’s name entirely,” he said and her eyes widened. She suddenly thought that she made the wrong choice and now she would never be able to escape but his words were not what she had expected.  “I swear to you that justice will be done and that all of Cintra will stand at your side,” he vowed.  Sera’s eyes went to Pavetta then to Calanthe whom both looked back at her not with hate and offense but with admiration and she couldn’t help but smile, knowing that she would finally get what she wanted.

[familyagrestefanblog]

In continuity Behavior and Details of the Sentimonster and what we can take from it + The effect of Cataclysm

Has anyone noticed yet that the two Sentimonster we have seen up to date (Hawkmoths in "Mayura" and Baby Augusts in "Miraculer") show a very particular Behavior pattern which helps us to better understand these creatures? It actually kinda blew my mind when I noticed it, let me show you! :D

But let me warn you, this got long ^^

I'll start with Augusts Lollipop Sentimonster because it has more screen time. 

Same as always with Hawkmoth, Mayura sends out one of her corrupted feather after she spots the upset Baby August. In context of this episode, one has to remeber that this Sentimonsters attack actual purpose was to set Chloe up for getting akumatized, so going for the Baby here (even though its morally wrong as hell) was not a bad move at all.

(Behold the Lollipop-monster, that my medicine influenced 2 am gif making self lovingly called “Lollipopulus Giganticus”, the diabetis brother of Mothitus Giganticus but we will get to that later)

The design. is. on point! The “akumatized” (do we really not have a name for this yet??) person is a baby who hasnt developed any complex thoughts and hasnt quite adopted the weird human need to completely humanoid monsters yet. The Baby is simple minded = The Sentimonster has a simplistic design without actual features or anything. August just has a HUGE desire for Lollipops so thats what the monster is. Some big ass Lollipops. Love it. 10/10, would lick again

Also take note how the Sentimonster stands here. It appears right in front of the Baby and even though it has no features like a face or anything we can still adumbrate from the camera-angle and the placement of the head and the lower arms that it faces away from August. Like a protector ready to defend. Remember that the Peacocks power is to summon a protector for someone and the following moments will give us more insight on how these protectors behave in a special occation.

Right after the Lollipop monster appears as his protector we see this. August is so delighted to see gigantic Lollipops that his pacifier (is this how you call it in english? I only get weird words as results when I look it up) falls out of his mouth and thats the catalyst moment for the monsters behavior!

Cuz the feather is in the pacifier and in my theory the feather-akumatized object is how the feather-akumatized Person can control their protector. Which of course they should be able to. The Akuma victims are also free to use their powers to their own will and imo it would make very little sense to give someone a protector but only the (maybe very busy) miraculous holder has control over it. So I think as long as the feather-akumatized person is in possesion of the feather-object they alongside Mayura are the masters (with Mayura, as the miraculous holder, still having the upper hand like Hawkmoth being able to “dicipline” his free will Champions through pain (Which btw makes actually alot of sense even if or ESPECIALLY if the Miraculos are meant to be used for good. You dont wanna have a champion running around refusing orders/ or using their powers for a bad purpose without a way to keep them in check just in case. I think Mayura will have something like this too. That whoever right now posesses the feather-object can be “diciplint” by her for misusing the protector. But I digress)

But the thing is, August looses his pacifier the moment the monster appears, so the only one in control over it is Mayura at the moment but she...doesnt, the whole time. She just lets the monster do whatever on autopilot (Which makes sense concidering that the Sentimonster is only there for the sake of assembling the heros again and upsetting Chloe. Why commanding and controlling the monster when its not needed for the plan? Natalie saves her energie whICH IS PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA SINCE USING THE PEACOCK IS KILLING HER)

What? What I mean with on autopilot? Oh let me show you, its awesome!

Cuz the moment that August, the person the Lollipop PROTECTOR is supposed to PROTECT, looses his control over his Sentimonster it knows that its little human master has no way to command it in the needed ways to protect himself from danger anymore. And since the Peacock isnt giving it other commands the Monster follows its instinct

And what is this instinct?

This!

Right the moment its human master looses the control object, it turns around to check how and why this happened. Here it happened by sheer accident. August doesnt understand that its important that he keeps his pacifier but under normal circumstances the human master loosing the feather object would mean that they were attacked, hurt or otherwise in danger

And thats exactly what the Sentimonster is thinking, when it sees August being taken away by his mother. Because in the next shot with it

We see. it chasing. after. THE BABY! Oh my god kudos to you SentiSweety, you go protect your “kidnapped” little master!

This is such an awesome trait these Sentimonsters seem to have that the moment they fear their humans are in fundamental danger without being able to protect themselves with their help, their priority number 1 is chasing after them to save them. It makes so much sense that they would have this instinct but somehow it still blew my mind when i noticed it! :D

Okay next and last important Lollipopulus moment (I think i’ll keep that name. My loyal Diabetes son deserves a name and fight me on this however you want, but he looks like a “Lollipopulus” kind of guy to me. Look at that jaw-line, it demands an “ulus” ending”)

The Sentimonster isnt just attacking LB and CN for the heck of it. We know that it thinks its master got kidnapped and is in danger, so when it sees our heros here getting ready to fight IT, of course it would think that they are “bad” too. Probably for an Sentimonster whoever is against it and the master-to-protect will be seen as “allied evil” by it, especially in autopilot modus.

Also. When you fear your protégé is in mortal danger so you wanna save them at all cost and then someone attacks YOU, you fight back. HARD. Because when the attackers hinder or even defeat you, noone is there to save and protect your protégé. And for an Sentimonster, save and protecting their masters is their entire purose of existing. So yes, Lollipopulus here wont hesitate a second to fight LB and CN just so it can get to August.

Though I might add, that I still think Sentimonsters are resonable creatures when used by or for a good person. They only want the best for their masters. So lets say Mayura would have featherrupted Augusts mother instead but she still had lost the control-object. So while running away with August (and the Sentimonster running after her in autopilot) she had met one of her 3 men and they ended up cowerig somewhere trying to protect each other and the baby. When the monster had arrived and had seen that the unkown man is protecting her and that SHE is protecting HIM too, the Sentimonster wouldnt have done anything to the man. Obviously the man is no danger to its master and the master trusts the man.

When the master has the control-object this is even easier because then you can simply tell the monster that your friends, familie or whatever arent enemies. Then they will be under the Sentimonsters protection too. Of course this works the other way around too and is probably how the Sentimonsters will be used for evil. Give them an akuma victim as master and they can be one hell of a threat trying to protect them.

So coming back to the situation in the gif. I think if LB and CN had calmly talked to the Sentimonster, asking if its looking for its protégé and if they can help, the Lollipop monster would not have attacked at all. Like I said, the Monsters just want the best for their masters and to protect them. The way I see it, when a Sentimonster is on autopilot it decides for itself who's friend and who's foe. This could lead to interesting development in future because right now team miraculous still sees most everything very black-and-white, as seen above, they inmediadly went to attack when it probably wasn't needed at all. The fact that Chat Noirs family are literally the bad guys is gonna help alot to open up the grey area between black and white but smaller things like this, trying to understand and becoming allies with Sentimonster could also add another layer to their growth as well

Though Mayura was still in the picture here so she totally would have commanded the monster to attack the heros. Still you get my point.

Okay let's go over to Hawkmoths Sentimonster before I'll continue endlessly

With this one I'll kinda skip the beginning, I'll just go quickly over the most important factors and then focus more on the new and interesting stuff.

With Hawkmoth we saw that Mayura does the same as he does. She sends out something corrupted, it finds an object, she telepathically communicates with the person and we get MOTHITUS GIGANTICUS

Before I start let me quickly point out that just like Augusts Sentimonster the butterfly appears right before Hawkmoth, facing his foes and ready to defend its master. The behavior pattern is there and will mostly likely be continued is most of the Sentimonster cases.

Alright lets talk about the design!

When you concider that Mothitus’ purpose was to be the “teaser” Sentimonster and to gently be our introduction for Mayuras powers and for the bigger and grander Sentimonsters to come then this is one great design. Its obviously something we havent seen yet but it isnt completely out there either so that we dont understand at all what going on anymore literally 20 seconds before the end of the fight. That would have been a bad style choice for a (maybe) never returning Monster, so they definitly did the right thing with this butterfly.

The design in general is really gorgeous in my opinien. Look at the little details! The wings, the tail, the head! I also like that designers were able to create a model that can be both a butterfly and a moth at the same time. Yes they are simular, but they still look different enough that they totally could have created a model which just would have looked like either a butterfly OR a moth. They made it work with both and thats awesome!

Even if I know that Mothitus doesnt exactly count as a legit Sentimonster (since its practically more used as an lore and future teaser than an actual enemy) I still find the parallels between Hawkmoth and his butterfly monster and August and his Lollipop monster very interesting. Like I said above, August Lollipop monster was gigantic but simplistic in design since August is just a simple minded baby with a huge desire for Lollipops. Key words gigantic but simple. Hawkmoths Sentimonster on the other hand is alot smaller but much richer in detail because of his adult (and designer) mind. Beside that Gabriel also focused alot more on the monsters function than August (what a surprise I know). The butterflys wind are so strong that they can blow away all the heros and untangle Ladybugs yoyo net. Also with its wings and smaller body it would be able to quickly hunt the heros no problem. The Lollipop monster on the other hand was only good for crashing its Lolli arms into buildings, beside that it had no other useful qualities. Also It was too large to effectivly chase after the “kidnapped” August, not exactly well thought out August up your Monster game please.

In shorter Hawkmoth created a useful protector and August...well, his lollipop fever dream. Babies will be babies

Okay lets start with what is new though (or better said, what different this time).

For one the fact that August lost his control object but Hawkmoth never had it on him in the first place. This actually doesnt make a lot of difference in the Sentimonsters behavior, just that lollipopulus checked on his master what hapened that August lost his object and if he is in danger and Mothitus already knew that his Master was in grave danger and didnt had to check to know.

Then “Mayura” gave us the comfirmation straight away that Natalie can snap the Sentimonsters away like that

Also this shows us that Mayura is willing to strategically stop the Sentimonsters when she sees no use in them anymore. That is very different from Hawkmoth! She seems to really be here only to get results, not to make a show or take some kind of sadistic pleasure out of this or whatever. This move alone makes her seem like a scarily competent and level headed supervillain and honestly, its still one of my favorite things Mayura has done til now. Just this little snap speaks VOLUMES about her! :D

And then the BIGGEST difference is that after accepting the featherruption August was happy and healthy whereas Hawkmoth became weak and hurt.

Before “Miraculer” came out this is what I thought was what would normally happen to the featherrupted people. That because of the peacocks brokeness the people who Mayura powers up get hurt along side her (cuz before his featherruption Gabriel was completely fine) but, no, August is perfectly fine. This means there are two options here

That something happenes in “Reflektdoll” which makes Mayuras powers useable again so that the akuma victims wont get weakened from her giving them back-up (which is possible in my opinien, I could see this happening)

That something was different about this featherruption that normally wouldnt be the case. And I might have an idea even if I dont know if its really something the show would do. Would be totally awesome though if this were legit!

Okay, the one detail that DEFINITELY is different here from at least 90% of all the future featherruptions is that Hawkmoths control-object was CATACLYSMED!

To understand why I think the control-object being cataclysmed beforehand would have such an effect I need to clearify that even though I’m saying that Hawkmoth and Mayura “corrupt” their butterflies/akumas, feathers and the victims, its frankly nowhere true at all. I just like saying it like that. What they do is basically just filling the butterflies/feathers with power and let them find a fitting person so they can 1. build the connection between them and the chosen and 2. then manipulate the chosen people so they join them. There is no corruption going on here. Neither do they break or control either the butterflies/feathers nor the people themselves. They power up, thats what they do.

The cats power of destruction on the other hand is a whole different story here.

I’m planning on doing a whole post just about this at some point in future with alot more details, thoughts and ideas but I’ll try to do my best to explained it here without putting you guys through another 5000+ words of wildly digressing. (Me now 4 hours later: Yeah no I did it again, It got long xD)

Basically my point is that the Ladybug is capable of purifying the akumas and the feathers. “Purifying” IS the right word to use here because something doesnt have to be explicitly “corrupted” to be purifyied. As I said, Hawkmoth and Mayura power up, that means even if they dont corrupt them they still change the nature of the feather/butterfly and that is what the Ladybug reverses. So Ladybugs purifying (and the Miraculous Ladybug for that matter) is basically her taking back the changes other people did to something. Thats whats happening every episode and thats why shes the one again dealing with the feathers. She reverses what has been changed, no other power does that.

Back to Chat Noir

The show has explicitly told us that the Cat and the Ladybug are the most powerful miraculous in existence and that fact still stands even if Chat noir right now can not and doesnt WANT to use his powers or explore them to their limits in the current situation (speak, that they try to spread hope and safty in terror attacks which wreck the city almost on a daily basis. Not exactly the right time or space to use and try out new ways of using the boundless power of destruction). I dont think I have to explain that this is not how the situation will be forever, of course Adrien will actually use his powers to their limits later, the show forshadowed that to hell and back by now and “Chat Blanc” will VISUALLY introduce us to what CN actal powers look like (I'M SO EXCITED!!!) the same way they did it with queen bee/wasp (im not the only one who made the connection that they use the power up of the akumatization to show us or at least forshadow the Miraculouses future actual powers right? RIGHT???

Anyway, I DIGRESS

The Cat and the Ladybug are equals and since they are also Yin and Yang for each other it also means that not only do they as individuals and the nature of their miraculouses complete each other, their powers too complete the circle.

So when Ladybug can purify (again, meaning that she reverses every damage and everything that other people do to something) the Cat should be able to corrupt everything.

To keep this paragraph shorter (I will go into so much more detail in the post for this topic oh my god) lets just explain this with the example from the Heros day. The Cats destruction and “corruption” is showing itself here with something Chat Noir is doing all the time: He isnt completely pullverizing the akuma-object to dust, hes rather damaging and weakening it to the point were it cant be used for its original purpose anymore and is easily breakable/aleady falling apart. (This seems to be the default affect of Cataclysm) In this case it is Hawkmoths weapon, which is his cane/sword.

In my theory when Chat Noir uses Cataclysm on something he not only does the above, he also inflicts the still existing object with some kind of...lets call it a virus. Now you may ask yourself “Why? Why should destroying something so hard that it looses basically every usage it had + infecting it with an destructive virus but NOT actually destroying it out of existence be the default state of cataclysmed objects? Shouldnt the power of pure destruction rather basically wipe everything touched out of existence?”

And that is were we were wrong! And I am saying “we” because its almost 4am here and I just fucking noticed this and went back on my laptop oh my GOD I’m excited again! :D

The default of Cataclysm isnt “destroying it out of existence” because that is not what “Destruction” is. That is “Annihilation”! Destruction and annihilation are two very different concepts that shouldnt be mixed up but everybody is doing it because of how we use the word “destruction/destroy” in our daily vocabulary. That is why probably almost everybody of us at least once asked themselves why Chats cataclysm is portrayed so “oddly” in the show. “He’s not really destroying it, hes just fucking it up!” And thats exactly what hes doing because thats exactly what his power is! He’s destroying it so fucking hard that the cataclysmed object loosed every usage it could have. He’s not messing like Roi Singe either, the object is completely fucking worthless now! 100%. But what hes NOT doing is taking it out of existence because THAT is Annihiliation. Not the concept of his power. The only time you will see annihilation instead of destruction is when it concernes BODYS (Like Chats cataclysm death in “Catalyst” because by god they really can not show messed up human bodies slowly dying on the show. Only exception)

Now working with the actual “destruction” concept and not with the wrongly used “annihilation” one, the destructive “virus” in the destroyed object seems alot more plausible. Because when Chat Noir uses the power of pure destruction on something, really every usage it could possibly have needs to be effected by it and THAT also includes the possibility of it being used as an out of reach object for Akumatizations or featherruptions for example. Without the “Virus” Hawkmoths cane still would have had a consequence free use there but WITH the virus spreading through it the featherruption got corrupted by Chats destruction and hurt and weakened Hawkmoth so much that a limping Gabriel collapsed around somewhere still nearby and had to detransform out of exhaustion. And frankly, Mayura only powered up the cane for a really short amount of time. Imagine how Gabriel would have ended up if this had gone longer. He probably wouldnt have been able to recover so quickly afterwards

Alright guys this is really everything I have for this, let me know what you think ^^ And @letsescapismlife I hope i could partly show you why I love Miraculous so much. Dont get me wrong, I still have some other posts in work for your request but just the theorizing the whole night through and getting excited at 4am because you just noticed something, is one of the biggest joys I get out of this show ^^

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[ninzied]

another kind of goodbye

for @carry-the-sky. happy birthday, my friend! have a little post-cancellation kastle fic.

It’s three months, give or take, when Frank lets himself think about her again. Really think about her. Not in the passing kind of way, where he’s walking down some street and sees a bouquet of gardenias, like the kind he’d almost gotten her instead of the roses that day. Or when he’s sipping on coffee, and Karen’s face flashes like a mirage at him across the cheap Formica table – blonde hair almost white under the shit diner lighting, but those eyes still so blue as she told him he would never lie to her.

So – okay, so he thinks about her. He thinks about her.

(He wonders if she—)

Frank eventually makes his way back to the city again, after. Another day, another job. Madani thinks he’s meant for something greater than this – than picking off these scum-of-the-earth kinds of assholes that litter the streets of a place like New York.

He can’t believe that he was meant for greater, but. Sometimes, he does wonder. If a part of him – whatever part of him that’s not still buried deep down in the ground with his family – was meant to come back here. To walk these streets and feel the pull of her, always, even when that’s all he can afford to feel.

He tells himself that has to be enough.

He’s been laying low, since his return. Coughed up some cash for a three-hundred-square-footer in Brooklyn, but he crosses the bridge to the city most days, maybe even finds his way to Hell’s Kitchen from time to time too. It’s risky, he knows. If Murdock catches wind of him, they’d be lucky to walk away from each other in one piece. And Karen…

There’d be a different kind of hell to pay, if Karen ever found out.

His phone gives a single buzz in his pocket as he’s hunkering his way down 47th, and he stops in his tracks, nearly colliding with an elderly woman in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Excuse me!” she says in a shrill voice, bag clutched tight to her chest.

“Apologies, ma’am,” he nods as she makes a show of putting as much distance between them as possible, and then he fishes his phone out, hesitating for one absurd moment before glancing down at the screen.

Back in town yet, Castle?

He barks out a laugh. Chrissakes, Madani.

His phone buzzes again.

I have a job for you, if you’re still interested.

“Still,” mutters Frank, with a scoffing shake of his head. He thinks he admires her perseverance, but Madani’s gotta know she’s only wasting her breath.

He cuts south down 10th, toward Lincoln Tunnel. It’s a brisk day, and the wind on his face feels sharper than usual, considering he hasn’t bled much there in a while. He jams his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the insistent drone of Madani’s follow-up call.

He’s got a date with a park bench on the wrong side of town, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend it’s the same bridge overlooking the water, and when he opens them again Karen’ll be there, waiting for him.

…

His closest call comes with, of all people, the lawyer. Not Red – the other one. Franklin Nelson.

Frank’s emerging with coffee two storefronts down just as another door opens, and he’s cursing himself for not seeing the signs when out tumbles Nelson with his back turned, adjusting his tie against the wind.

“Foggy bear, wait!” someone else is laughing, and a blonde lady steps out to chase after him, slinging a purse over her shoulder and reaching with her other hand to link around his elbow.

“I told him this was gonna make me late for work,” grumbles Nelson, but without any heat to the words. “Dad’s surprise party isn’t until tomorrow, don’t know why this couldn’t have waited – oh, crap, I forgot I told Karen I’d pick up some coffee—”

Nelson’s about-facing sharply, girlfriend following closely behind. He doesn’t appear to notice Frank crouched down in a corner by the 7-Eleven, hood obscuring half his face as he trains his eyes on the ground by their feet. The girl unearths some coins from her bag as they pass, clinking them onto the lid of Frank’s coffee cup without seeming to hear his low mutter of thanks.

He’s leapt up the moment he hears the door latch shut, brushing the coins into his palm as he goes.

He leaves them with a guy camped out by the train stop, a dog lifting her head from their blankets to blink sleepy eyes up at Frank, and he walks away harder, takes the steps two at a time and wishes – God he wishes—

…

Another text from Madani.

He shuts his phone off. Goes back to retrieve it ten seconds later from the trash can that he’d dumped it in, wiping it down and scowling as her message pops up on the screen.

Castle – offer still stands, FYI.

“You should call her back,” advises a man huddled down by the newsstands next to him. His face is like leather, worn down and weathered with age, with living. “Apologize for whatever it is that you did, so you don’t end up out here like me.”

“Already there,” Frank tells him, turning the phone over and over in his hand. Madani’s message lights up again each time, flashing and flashing until he sees it like a burn through his retinas even when the phone’s no longer facing him.

“Damn. That’s a damn shame.” The guy shifts, scratching at a spot on his back. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve stayed away from her for so long.”

Frank shakes his head, uttering a short, incredulous laugh. “Well, maybe I got my reasons, yeah? You think about that?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” shrugs the guy. “Does she think they’re any good? These reasons of yours?”

Frank turns away, jaw working furiously.

“Yeah.” The guy shouldn’t have any right to sound as smug as he does, and yet. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

…

He’s got no place in coming here. He knows it. He knows it, but he thinks it was always meant to be this way, him circling back around to her, even after everything that he’s done to push her away. Maybe a part of him had never left. And the rest is just – there, hovering right at the edge of some sharp realization, that he could try to be whole again if he simply took that first step. And a part of Karen must at least sense that. It’s why she’d never really given up on him, before.

It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Frank wonders if she’d forgive him this time. If he’d even want her to.

It wouldn’t be anything close to what he deserves, that’s for goddamn sure.

He gazes up at her fire escape, counts the number of steps it would take just to be able to reach that bottom rung from his vantage point across the street. Her shades are drawn, the lines of them blurred out in the dim orange light. On one corner of the windowsill, wedged up against the glass, there’s a small stack of books. On the other, a vase. From this angle, the shadows folded into the fabric of her curtains look almost like flower stems.

Frank squints, and the stems disappear.

…

There’s about a week in between, where he feels himself inching closer to something, each time he drops by her block. He never goes farther than the patch of sidewalk across from her building, but it’s getting harder not to just careen over the ledge.

More than anything, he wishes he knew, in those moments obscured in half-darkness, whether he’s come to look for that after she’d spoke of, or if he’s come to say goodbye.

Then, one day he spots flowers in her window, for the first time since—

(They’re pale white against the cream of her curtains, their stems dark slivers of green, and he imagines them pricking the pad of his thumb, drawing up a spot of blood.)

Frank takes a deep breath.

…

She doesn’t look surprised to see him when she opens the door, swinging it back two-thirds of the way before stopping. Her lips are pressed tightly together, like there’s too much to say, or maybe there’s things that she can’t, either way he can’t read her and he thinks she’s never terrified him more.

Frank drops his gaze, mouth moving soundlessly until the words grind their way out. “How’d you know I was here, Karen?”

He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s expecting. That Nelson had grown a real pair of eyes, or that Red had managed to ferret him out of his lurking somehow. Or maybe Karen really just hadn’t known at all, and those flowers were never for him.

What Karen says instead is, “Dinah and I grab a beer together, sometimes.”

“That right?” he asks, trying to lay out an image of this in his mind. It sits strangely there, stumping him for a moment, and some of his bewilderment must show on his face because Karen’s mouth almost turns up in a smile before flattening again.

She leans away from the doorjamb, waving her hand in a worn-looking gesture before letting it drop to her side. “Besides, you…haven’t exactly been subtle, in your haunting of Hell’s Kitchen.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, other than a gruff, “’S’what dead men do, Karen,” as she folds her arms and sighs at him.

“You sure you’re not just losing your touch, Frank?” She steps into the doorway, whether to move closer to him or to block him out of her apartment, he can’t tell. “Or was it because you wanted me to know but couldn’t tell me to my face?”

His eyes snap up to hers, twitching slightly under the sharp weight of her gaze. He shakes his head, wishing he could just ask her, What do you want from me, Karen? but they’re long past that now, and if he can’t find his own way to answer her, then.

God, he really doesn’t deserve this woman.

“I think I—” He shifts his body and tries again. “I think I needed to figure some things out. Karen. I was waiting 'til I felt like I was ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.” But I’m here, he wants to say, but I’m here.

“Yeah.” Karen’s nodding, hair falling into her face, and she brushes it back, resting her chin in her palm for a moment. “I know that, Frank.” All of the fight in her seems to have ebbed slowly back, and he resists the urge to reach out and shake the storm back into motion, to make her understand she doesn’t get to let him off the hook so easy.

The look she gives him now is softer, but he knows. Fight’s not done. May never be done. And he knows this because he knows he’ll never stop fighting for her.

She’s stepped back into the door, letting it swing open further. She doesn’t invite him in, but she’s quirked an eyebrow up at him, biting her lip with another deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“You, uh.” Frank glances back and forth at their surroundings, doesn’t quite meet her eye. Tries to lighten his tone through the gruffness as he asks her, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Her voice is soft, forbearing, with a hint of gentle knowing behind it. “You didn’t?”

She’s holding back the clear start of a smile from him this time, and Frank. Christ. It’s taking everything in him not to step toward her, to—

Karen tilts her chin at him, the motion loosening another wave of blonde hair, and he can’t remember anymore why he was trying so hard to stand back from all this. He’s moving, swaying forward until she’s just an arm’s length away, and there’s something almost teasing about the way she relaxes her shoulder into the door as she watches him.

“You back to kill some people, Frank?”

He feels a corner of his mouth turn up. This girl. He licks his lips, lets out a quiet sort of laugh. “That was the plan, yeah.”

Karen gazes up at him, unblinking. “Have you?”

“I was—” Frank has to look away for a moment, finally turning back when he can. His eyes are steady, boring into hers, voice low and full with meaning. “I was. Working on it.”

Karen nods. Doesn’t speak for long seconds, and he measures them out in heartbeats, chest tightening hard enough it feels like it might break when she asks him, very carefully, “Still?”

Frank steps closer, close enough to feel the way her breath shakes with a small sigh, how her body moves away from the door to meet him.

His hand is inches from hers, but he doesn’t reach for her. Not yet.

She waits, gaze searching. He gives the barest shake of his head, and a single word, gravel-filled, a promise. “No.”

Something cracks open in her expression, and it means everything to him, her head ducking away as though she can’t have him looking too closely at the way she's biting back that smile of hers, and he thinks – he thinks he wants to make her do it again, and again, for as long as she will have him.

“Would you like to come in, Frank?”

He takes her hand in his this time, feeling the pull of her as he steps across the threshold, door shutting firmly behind them, and it feels like coming home.

[01010010-posts]

— my white sighs quietly melted with the stars above.

it all started with a simple ‘you’re a slowpoke??’ text and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply immediately after. ‘I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person’. absolutely no, you scoffed, as if you were going to be tricked again ‘bitch don’t play the wrong number card because you didn’t catch the bus’. he was amused by your obstinacy and lightly worried about the supposed receiver, who, it appeared, was very clumsy; ‘please, control the number you texted, I’m Connor.’ boy he sure was. not your pal, not someone else in your contact list, just.... Connor. ‘god, i apologize!! thank you for telling me! ps. didn’t mean to call you a bitch, connor’ and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply. connor: shouldn’t you be in bed by now? you: but,,,, i wanted to chat with u a little more connor: as an android sleep is not required but you, as a human, need to rest. we can always continue talking tomorrow. you: :( what if you have a long case tomorrow?? mh?? what if?? what you’re gonna say in your defense then?? connor: don’t worry :) I’ll find time for you. you: ok you win goodnight ☆ connor: sweet dreams. goodnight, [name]. it’s been three months since you’ve first spoken with him. intimacy there but low, how obvious it is that the two of you are proceeding with caution. yet you can’t help but write to him every day, staying up late while waiting for an answer of his, often checking your mobile and getting unsettled when there’s no signal. it’s strange, your colleagues whisper, how can you be so attached to someone if you’ve never even seen him? of course, you know it. you don’t wish for a pretty face, you only wish for a pretty personality. with a heavy sigh and a loud poof you pull the white duvet up to your head, finding comfort by completely hiding inside the warm embrace. you tightly hug a pillow, pretending that it’s him, returning your affection and cuddling, maybe caressing you too inasmuch, as he said, ‘androids don’t need to sleep’. but is it bad to fantasise? you: I’m deeply sorry.... sweetheart: >:( you: [name], it’s the seventh text-made emoji you’ve sent me.... they expressed some sort of anger so I’d prefer if we discussed about whatever is bothering you. sweetheart: >:(( you: I’m begging you.... sweetheart: you’re grounded and your punishment is enduring the wrath of weird angery text-based emoji :< you: what did I do to deserve this? :’( sweetheart: i sent you a heart & you didn’t send it back to me you: gosh! how clumsy of me! could you ever forgive this fool? sweetheart: mhhh it depends. what are you willing to do to be pardoned? you: I’ll send you whatever heart I possess! 💕💖💗💖 sweetheart: THIS IS UNFAIR!!! he’s silently giggling all by himself, in the cold room lit by his blue led circling at a steady rhythm– no, it’s not the temperature, rather it’s the atmosphere; ‘cold’. he’s still grappling with emotions and developing tastes is– well, to put it simply, complicated. he’s heartened with the fact that you once said, at the sight of a photo of his bed and the corner within, that being minimalistic is a style too. though, possibly, his true self is one of a clutterer of knick-knacks. of course, he’d like you to help him pick what ornaments would suit him the best. you: wtf i dont believe it connor♡ : but it does! you: prove it MIKU HATSUNE connor♡ : listen here human it’s not my fault you haven’t got the chance to witness an android external fluid deactivating you: !!!!! are you bragging?? connor♡ : ahahaha I’m joking it’s sending a video right now you watch ecstatically as soon as the app downloads the file, your chest throbbing with pleasurable anxiety. how can it be? he’s kind, precious AND fucking handsome, skin or no skin. you bet bad things will happen to you today to balance this sheer luck. think it thoroughly, it’s actually the first time you see his face. you: u’r cute also how does your hair work man connor♡ : thank you :) it’s connected to my head so.... you: i get it cybernetic magic your secrets are safe with me connor♡ : ahahaha and I was concerning myself about disgusting you you: WHAT fuck no you’re done that way, ok, it’s cool ok? kept it in mind are you allowed to insert ♡ near his name and not tell him? you: I’m waiting!! :/ sweetheart: so needy you: come on, [name]! sweetheart: tru tho you: >audio file cooome ooooonn sweetheart: !!! im ready pick up idiot the monitor lits and here you are, gorgeous. he’s certain that his heart melted on the spot. such is the sensation you give him every time you send him a photo, his thirium pump skipping a beat and making him inevitably somewhat gasping for air, mouth barely closed. he’s not accustomed to all the new features deviancy brought but in this he’s confident, he’s head over heels in love with you. you: what?? you’ve already seen the movie?? love♡ : yeah! I went with Hank! it was very nice, you should see it too you: WELL id kill to (please don’t arrest me detective) but nobody wants,,,, love♡ : why is that? (I won’t arrest you if you behave) you: something along the lines of not their genre or some shit uff (seems sketchy) love♡ : what about going alone? (it isn’t!!) you: it would be too sad :’(  love♡ : I’m sorry to hear that, if I could be there I’d accompany you and wouldn’t mind seeing it a second time. you: yes i know.... what is it? six months? more? you hardly remember, having so many messages in here, it would be too difficult to keep track, though you’re positive, that if you asked him he’d tell you in an instant, since he’s so attentive with that little brain-computer of his. you close your lids, tapping your fingers on the desk, it’s wearing, you must admit. you like him, a lot at this point, but being so far and out of reach.... what can come out of this? friends don’t support you either, ignoring this blatant crush, trying to make you hook-up with people met at a bar, getting annoyed at you constantly texting, preaching that a long distance relationship is not worth your time and your effort, and it’s not even a relationship, isn’t it? you’re not on that level. you’re just weirdos keeping themselves company. bummed out a bit, you decide that maybe avoiding him for a couple of days might be a proper solution. will he feel your absence? will he miss you? you: is everything all right? sweetheart: yes. you: are you sure? sweetheart: yep im,,,, swamped with work, the drill you: that I understand but perhaps I did something wrong? sweetheart: ?? you: you’ve been acting kinda cold lately, and if I’m the cause of that I’m sorry. being a deviant is good sometimes, and sometimes is not. it was great until a while ago so why now.... now....? he feels so lost. it’s understandable to have a job and a life outside this bond but– but is it really? is it okay for you to be without him? you’d manage fine. mhh no– the real question is: is it okay for him to be without you? can he be without sending you a text at least once a day? can he be without hearing your voice at least once a week? can he be without your usual video calls at least twice a month? can he be without seeing you, over a screen, cooking your dinner and singing? can he be? can he exist without you? he’s.... starting to doubt that. sweetheart: no i’m i’m the one whos sorry, okay? we can call tomorrow you: I don’t want to press you into anything you don’t want to sweetheart: you’re not! i’ll make up for not having been so present! you sigh, suffocating yourself on the pillow, how can you be this dense? this stupid? this utter moronic?? unequivocally he was going to worry. you made him worry. fuck. you’re going to trust your guts, no dumb jokes, it’s obvious that you both care about the other and can’t stay apart for too long. you: i know it’s 3AM and you told me to not be awake but i cant i cant okay? im thinking of you and me and you and it began because im a mess so it shouldnt be a surprise i havent gotten better this past year has been.... the best. yeah i fucked up and tried to be distant, to see if sth would change but it didnt i love waking up and finding a text from you, i love the sound of your voice trying to lull me goodnight when im being a spoiled child, i love how you’re so gentle & how you always forgive me and mostly i love you not as a friend, definitely as more, definitely like a lover and i know that you’re so caring that you’ll probably still want to talk with me even if the affection’s not mutual you lock your phone’s screen and place it on the nightstand. the orange light from the streets seeping through the curtains and soaking your covers, and now that your eyes are free to roam, it’s easier to notice the soft feathers’ filling making tiny shadows on your face. poor poor geese. your fingertips slightly touch the stitches, your heartbeat pacing furiously from the strong emotions, both trepidation and fear running your veins. what if he doesn’t feel the same? what if he’s been polite this whole time and you overstepped his boundaries? what if? love♡ is typing.... ping! love♡ : I love you too, honey. but please, don’t scare me again, I think I lost four biocomponents when you suddenly stopped replying to me. also you should sleep. you: im pouring my heart out ugly crying and!!!! you’re too casual nooo it’s no big deal baby we just fucking love each other it’s totally ok incoming call from love ♡ “hey....” his tone slow and almost drowsy “i thought it was clear enough.” words rolling off his tongue, the same that he’d tenderly run across you, kissing, tasting, worshipping your body “i hate you.” you sniffle and there’s a chuckle on the different end “i love you.” you smile, wiping off the tears wetting your cheeks with the back of your right hand “i love you too.”

[shhh-no-ones-home]

tricks of the trade 1/2 new age x-men x reader

+++++++++

in which the new age x men get together for a friendly game of truth or dare that slowly leads to spin the bottle

i know warren has metal wings now but were just gonna say that when apocalypse was defeated his magic on the horsemen wore off so he has his regular wings back. (also this ends with warren and the reader so if you dont like that pairing skip part two)

song: crush culture by conan gray

+++++++++

we all sat around the common room and drank as we pleased. it was a casual party that we deserved after the latest mission. we all just wanted to chill and be the stupid kids that we had once been deprived of. the couches and chairs had all been moved so we could be close to each other but still giving enough room to those that  would end up on the floor where most of the drinks resided when not being consumed. i sat on a single chair and looked around at the tired yet happy faces of my class mates and team mates. the couch across from me sat scott, jean, jubilee, and ororo. the chair to my left held warren and the chair to my right held kurt. it was hard for me to see him though because peter sat close to me on the chairs arm rest that i was seated in. i laughed at something scott said, quickly retaliating with my usual sarcasm.

"gee scott, didnt know you had a funny bone anywhere in that body of yours."

he threw a pillow at me but peter caught it before it could hit me. he just smiled at me and put it under his head as he leaned closer to me, into the back of the chair.

"bite me y/n"

i raised an eyebrow.

"i would but you have a girl friend."

the collections of oos around the room made jean stir in her seat as scott protested to my accusations.

"chill buzzkill, we all know the two of you have the hots for each other, you dont have to hide it, we're all friends here."

warren let out a snort. i looked at him and smirked.

"well at least most of us are friends here."

he sent me a glare and i winked at him before taking another sip out of my red solo cup.

jubilee hopped up quickly and sat back on her crossed legs on the couch.

"you guys we should play truth or dare."

there was a collection of groans, kurt looking between us all slightly confused. jubilee piped back up.

"oh come one, when was the last time any of us got to be proper teenagers?"

i dropped my head for a second before closing my eyes in regret.

"jean, truth or dare?"

i looked up to see jubilee smile in excitement. jean looked annoyed. she sighed.

"truth."

"boring."

she sent me a look.

"fine, all cards on the table. no questions asked to any truths, just simple answers. you can answer to whatever extent you feel comfortable. now, jean, how do you really feel about scott?"

peter let out a small laugh, causing me to look at him.

"so, so."

i side nodded.

"that wasnt so hard was it?"

jubilee piped up.

"jeans turn!"

she looked at warren.

"warren, truth or dare."

he squinted his eyes at her.

"dare."

he looked at me.

"now were getting somewhere."

we both looked back to jean.

"i dare you get y/n a leaf off the tallest tree on the mansion grounds."

many of our friends eyes went wide but warren had his game face on.

"you all gonna come watch or what?"

we all got up and quickly followed him down the hall and out to the courtyard. we watched in awe as he took off with his immaculate wings and fly across the lake to the tallest tree on the other side. he came back with a gentle land and handed me the brightest red leaf id ever seen. i turned to jean.

"can we all go back inside? its freezing out here."

warren grabbed my shoulder.

"not so fast lil miss."

i sent him a glare.

"what could you possibly...?"

he patted my shoulder.

"truth or dare?"

his eyes were intense in the moonlight.

"is that a challenge angel?"

he raised a brow at me.

"maybe."

i squinted my eyes at him.

"dare."

"y/n no."

i looked to jean and took into consideration her warning but it was too late.

"i dare you to jump in the lake."

my head snapped towards warren in a fit of anger.

"theres no way in hell."

"oh so its gonna be like that is it?"

i crossed my arms over my chest and before i knew it he had lifted me up and flew me to the side of the lake, throwing me into the cold water. when i came up for air he was standing on the shore laughing at me.

"i hate you, you overgrown chicken."

the others had run over to see if i was okay and all had looks of concern and anger written on their faces. i waded for a second before splashing him and pulling him in with me. when he came up he was flailing around and coughing. he stopped for a second before splashing me and climbing out of the freezing water. i followed suit and shivered when the cold air hit my wet skin.

"okay i think its time to go back inside."

jubilee nodded in agreement.

"you two go dry off and when your done come back to the common room. we are gonna keep playing though."

we both nodded and followed the team back into the mansion, splitting off to go to our respective rooms.

+++

when i came out of my room i could hear a commotion down the hall. i knocked on warrens door and when he opened it he was shirtless but still dripping wet. he seemed beyond peeved but more annoyed than anything.

"something wrong?"

he scoffed at me.

"yeah my wings are wet. i cant do shit."

i tried to stifle the giggle that came to me.

"do you want some help?"

he paused but admitted defeat. he hung his head.

"yes."

i followed him back into his room and caught the towel that he threw me. i let out a small laugh before patting down his wings.

+++

we walked back into the common room only to find cups empty and friends sitting on the floor in a circle, a bottle in the middle of them where the coffee table had been.

"yall decide truth or dare wasnt enough?"

ororo laughed.

"actually, kurt was asked a truth and he said party games here were very interesting, we told him about spin the bottle and to our surprise he dared jubilee to set the game up."

i let out a small laugh and shook my head. peter patted the floor beside him and i gladly obliged. jubilee piped up to explain the rules. warren rolled his eyes but took a seat between peter and scott.

"i dont believe ive ever played this game."

peter piped up.

"cant say that any more pal."

i lightly nudged peters arm.

"remember when we used to play this in middle school? every time it was your turn to spin the bottle you got up to go get more food or go to the bathroom."

we both laughed at the memory. jubilee shook her head but grabbed the bottle and spun it quickly. we all waited patiently for it to come to a stop. it landed on peter to all of out suprise. i smacked his back.

"guess its to late to leave."

he looked at me before slowly leaning across the center of the circle to give jubilee a quick peck on the lips. next ororo spun, it landed on kurt who turned a deep shade of purple when she leaned over to give him a short kiss. next kurt spun and it landed on warren. we all giggled but warren had the sternest face id ever seen. kurt looked to me and then jubilee.

"maybe i should not, i believe warren is still angry about our past before coming to be here at the mansion."

i looked at warren who still had a stern gaze on kurt. i patted kurt reasuringly on the back.

"i think your right kurt, we can skip this one."

he nodded and i spun. it landed on jean. she sent me a glare before rolling her eyes and leaning over to peck me on the lips before returning to her seat in annoyance. when she looked back at me i winked at her and laughed.

"this game is stupid."

"come on jean, your just saying that cause you havent kissed scott yet."

she sat back on her hands but didnt say anything. next peter spun. it landed on ororo and he pecked her with just as much haste as he did jubilee. when we got situated back in his seat we all stared at warren who didnt move. he looked around to all of us.

"what?"

"its your turn hippogryph."

he sighed but spun anyways. it went around a few times before slowly coming to a hault in front of me. peter laughed before nudging me and pointing at warren. i nodded at him.

"thanks peter, i get it."

i got up on my knees and crawled across to warren, kissing him slowly, but pulling away and quickly returning to my seat. we all kept playing, drinking as we did, and everyone kissing everyone at least once before the game finished.

[arianaistired]

My Experience Meeting Taylor (WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK)

@taylorswift THATS US WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

(also I just finished typing this and it’s so so fucking long I’m so sorry this is a warning. I don’t even get to rep room for so long I can’t breathe I’m so sorry)

Okay, so I’m at work right now, but I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about Saturday--which can really be the tagline for the past 3 days of my life--and then I realized that I haven’t posted a single thing about it on tumblr dot com!!! I’ve really not shut the fuck up about it on twitter but this is a whole new platform, a whole new WORLD that I have not tapped into and annoyed everyone by talking CEASELESSLY about this experience. Like I’m pretty sure that everyone is going to murder me on twitter if i don’t shut up soon, but we’re not there yet on papersairplane dot tumblr dot com so here we fucking go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay the story of my day on Saturday really begins on Friday night after Metlife night 1, a joyous occasion wherein Taylor Swift Touched My Hand at the barricade. So I was just like floating on a fucking cloud after that concert, trekking back to the lowly island of Long Island, New York and texting my friend jess @monica-geller. I was thinking about how I’ve done literally nothing to try to meet miss swift in my entire meaningless existence on this earth and I was thinking about how it doesn’t hurt to TRY so I was like hm. I’ll make a post!!! I didn’t but more on that later.

So i tell jess I’m gonna make a post and then in classic ariana fashion I just sit there on the train not making my post bc i was like deadass...I have nothing to say like nothing about me is particularly interesting it’s not like my house caught on fire and, in the absence of a fire hose, i used the soothing lyrics of stay beautiful from taylor swift’s debut album (2006) to will the flames into submission. like i just really love that woman i don’t have anything else TO SAY. omg side note i love how this started off with proper grammar and spelling and capitalization and now i’m talking like i don’t even know how to read. whatever. so then liz @lastskiss decides to get a fucking idk like a call from God Herself (stream god is a woman by ariana grande) and she’s like wow i should make ariana a post and i see her tweet and i’m life fuck it i’ve told her not to in the past but i’m tired and lazy and nothing’s gonna come of this anyway so i’ll let her make the post. so i text her my seat info and then i’m like “wow my work is done here i’m so talented for pressing send on the imessage app.”

so liz makes this post and is like “should i post it :O” and jess is like “yeah post it that dumb bitch is never gonna do anything herself” which...tea….and liz, being an intellectual in addition to being a magical wizard, is like “tea” and does it. Idk why this is a short novel already but i’m extremely bored at work and trying to get all the deets in. so this is at like i wanna say 1:45am EST aka everyone’s asleep except for liz in LA and jess in australia. so i reblog it once bc if you haven’t already grasped it i’m a lazy dumbass with low expectations and i go to sleep like “my work here is done.” so liz and jess and a few other beautiful souls by jesse mccartney reblog the post while i’m asleep, unbeknownst to me, and a few hours later at 8am i wake up and get ready for brunch. So i’m well aware that it’s gonna rain tonight so i’m like i should not put that much effort into my appearance bc i’m going to look like a drowned rat by the end of this day (stupid, but not untrue i really did) so i like actually do the bare minimum like i just basically put on whatever was most comfortable to dance around in the pouring rain in and then zoomed out the door for brunch bc it was in harlem at 12 and i was on long island at 9 so i was like g2g.

change of scenery now: i’m at brunch in harlem with a bunch of friends and soon to be friends and its 12:15 and i’m like “cool i’m with people from the internet so it’s not rood if i check twitter” and I do and i see a dm notification and i’m like oh the let me check. And check i did. And what the fuck was there??? 10 hours after liz hit send on that blessed post what was in my direct messages on the twitter for iphone app? That’s right friends and foes. It was a dm from one miss taylor nation. And what do i do???????????? I turn my phone face down on the table and my hands just start shaking and i’m pretty sure i blacked out as if i was having a petit mal seizure. So i come to, and pick my phone back up and send them my name, my number, and the best time for them to call (“you can call me at literally any time and i will pick up”) and i turn my phone face up on the table and stare at it. And stare. And stare…………...and an hour and a half (!!!) later FINALLY i get a call from miss nation. And i sprinted out of that restaurant. The poor waitress probably thought that denise @pettyswift had threatened to murder me with how fast i ran out of the premises. 10 mins later i return to the table and everyone’s staring at me with expectant gazes and i’m just like completely utterly non reactive like i think i was just in shock because i didn’t understand what was happening. Like i literally expected it to be merch lmaosafujkafn like so to get to speak to whoever that was on the phone and to hear her say the words “if all is fine and you get confirmed, you will be meeting taylor tonight” was jsut….a shock to the system to say the least. So i was still anticipating it to go wrong because like what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK????? Anwyay. So i get the confirmation and i’m still completely nonreactive but i call my friend anthony @shakeitoffs to tell him (sidenote: i know we’re not supposed to tell anyone but like. I was going with him to the concert i had to. Like i was already under a lot of stress i’m sure everyone understands if i didn’t follow all the rules to a t) and i say goodbye to the table and i start making my journey from harlem to new jersey.

fast forward a few hours to ~4pm and literally the only thoughts in my brain are “what the fuck” “i’m so scared” and “can jess wake the fuck up” like idk why i was so concerned with jess waking up asjkfas like i just NEEDED HER TO WAKE UP. so anthony and i make our journey to metlife because i needed to be at will call between 4-5 to pick up my rep room pass. Anthony’s buzzing, i’m on the verge of throwing up, liz is freaking the fuck out, and jess still isn’t awake. And i get to will call and give them my ID fully expecting something to go wrong….and it does!!! The will call people are like “maam we havent gotten anything from taylor nation yet please check back in 20 mins.” cool. So finally at this point jess wakes up and is freaking out so now liz anthony and jess are all freaking out and i’m just terrified that something’s going to go wrong. FINALLY 15 mins later the will call people waved me back, i gave them my ID, and i received in my undeserving hands that yellow ass rep room paper. I nearly threw up. Bc at this point i had been like working under the assumption t hat something, ANYTHING, was going to go wrong like i half expected the uber to the stadium to spontaneously combust while i was in the car. So to have confirmation that i was supposed to be at a certain gate in less than 40 mins to then be brought backstage to meet taylor alison swift….was a lot. It’s still a lot.

So i take the picture and tweet it and everyone is being so nice and happy for me which only exacerbates the feeling of A Lotness bc i just felt so completely and utterly undeserving, but this isn’t me trying to get people to tell me i deserved it it’s just me being honest about how i felt. And on top of all of this, the fact that i had never in my life tried to meet taylor also meant that i had never in my life prepared to meet taylor. Of course i’ve thought about what i’d say, who hasn’t, but never under the actual assumption that i was meeting taylor. And NEVER with the confirmed knowledge that i was MEETING TAYLOR IN HALF AN HOUR. so, as aforementioned, IT WAS A LOT.

So skip to 5:30, the meeting time, and i’m standing on the floor where i’m supposed to be and waiting in line with like 6 other people waiting for taylor nation to take us backstage. And they start to!!! But then they get to me and ask for my name and i tell them and i’m NOT ON THE LIST JKANFKASJNFJ so im panicking once again like oh this is it. But i tell the tn guy that i got my dm at like 12 that day and i can show it to him and he was like “ohhhh i think i got a text about a late add” and looks through his texts and he’s like “yeah here you are.” which was terrifying like i was really a late ass add huh like someone was like add this girl huh. the.

So finally they bring us backstage.i think i must’ve been visibly distressed at this point bc one of the other fans in line came up to me and was like “you’re nervous too huh” like i’m pretty sure i looked like i was being taken to my execution. They stop us outside of the door and i can see scottifer swift and tree paine and andrea and i’m like “holy fuck this is actually happening.” And giuseppe the dancer walks past me and i’m like “holy fucking shit this is actually happening and also that man is so fucking hot.” they tell us to put all of our shit on the table, and i do (minus my yellow pass which i was still grasping as if it was going to be ripped out of my hands as cameramen crashed the scene like i was on punk’d and everyone including taylor was going to point and laugh at the fact that i actually for one second thought this was going to happen to me. Yes i’m dramatic what about it) and i enter the rep room. The snake habitat if you will. I enter a room and the first group goes in almost immediately and i hear taylor swfit’s speaking voice saying “hiiiiiiii” reverberate around the room and i’m like OH MY FUCKING GOD…….so like i said i was nervous and definitely visibly so. Like i’m pretty sure i was pacing. I was also singing along to lets get married by bleachers because i have morals, but i definitely looked scared. So the tn person in the room keeps offering to take polaroids of me next to all of the decorations ajkfjasnfkjnfa like she must’ve been trying to reassure me which i really appreciated.

The room is like a big dark well decorated room that has a well lit corner curtained off, which is where taylor and the photographer are and where the m&g takes place. So for my sanity i needed to like look into it so that my blood pressure could return and so that i didnt throw up on taylor the millisecond i walked into the glow of the ring light, so i casually walked to where the curtain area was and looked in between the two curtains where a sliver of bright ass light was escaping and i saw taylor in all her taylor swifitan glory with my own two unholy eyes and i was liek “well…..that did nothing to cure my stress” because she was just SO TALL AND BEAUTIFUL that i was just so fucking...idk. Idk i felt so nuts it was indescribable.

Lets get married stops playing and strawberries and cigarettes (i think?) starts and it’s my turn to go in. so i just like bite the bullet and do it and the first words that escape my stupid mouth are “holy fucking shit” and taylor laughed (i cant) and hugged me and she was just so. calm . well obviously shes calm shes meeting a known moron there’s nothing to be nervous abou there this was practically charity work for her like she’ll be able to use meeting me as a tax write off next year. Really i was doing her a service.

But anyway we pull back from the hug and she’s smiling at me and i’m pretty sure i was shaking a bit like my voice definitely was shaking. And i was just like “oh my god. I love you.” klasfjasnjkf like i was incapable of speaking at that point so i think she thought that i was just going to freeze up and not say a single word but before she could fill the awkward silence i just...started talking and did not shut upas fjkasnfjkajkf. Like i was like “oh my god hi i want you to know that i could not have anticipated this happening any less like i received the dm from taylor nation confirming this about 4 hours ago there was nothign to prepare me for this i didn’t even do anything my friend liz made a post and she and jess reblogged it at like 2 am last night none of this makes any sense” and she was like “oh my god that’s so nice of them” which TEA IT ABSOLUTELY WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then she said “i’m so happy i finally get the chance to meet you then” which i’m sure she says to everyone but she’s so good at making you feel like she means it like she said that and it was like i had taken a xanax like i was so calm after that. Everyone says you calm down in her presence and i’ve never taken that seriously, but YOU REALLY DO….like shes just so calming she makes you feel like she’s your friend and that she genuinely wants to talk to you as if this is a casual occurrence.

So i say “i really love you like i have an older sister and she’s cool and all but you have always felt like you were my older sister like you’ve been a constant in my life for like a decade. I don’t even remember my life before i was obsessed with you which is probably indicative of a brain issue if i can’t remember my life before i was 11 but its true” and she LAUGHED and like genuinely laughed which made me feel so good. Like maybe she’s just the most talented actress alive but i really felt like she thought i was funny……..the………..and then as if i didnt get it from her laughing she called me funny which is disgusting. I’m doing my best to remember this conversation i like blacked out ajskfnsanf. I DIDNT EVEN TELL HER ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF whcih is so funny to think about now and honestly im fine with bc my life is boring anyway. But anyway i had been debating requesting a song all day, but i was like fuck it the worst thing she can do is turn me down and call me stupid for asking. So i prefaced my request with: “taylor i know youre probably getting different requests from everyone you meet and i know you also probably alreayd have a song in mind for tonight which is totally fine it’s your concert you can do whatever you want my opinion doesn’t matter i’l love anything you do” and shes laughs and is like “whats the song” and i tell her forever and always. And shes like “OHHHHH oh my god i didnt even think of that song. i have a list of songs in my mind that i can play at each show and forever & always didn’t even cross my mind i dont know why. I’ll be honest i already have a song in mind for tonight i’m going to play fearless because it’s raining” and i was like “THATS SO GREAT i love that song it’s your concert it’s your show do whatever you want i love fearless fearless is my favorite album” and she was like “that’s such a good request i didn’t evne think about that song” and i started telling her how i love that song because it was like the song that really got me into her music bc i saw her talking about it on ellen and she literally interrupted me which was an honor and goes “OH MY GOD and it has the ‘it rains in your bedroom eveyrthing is wrong it rains when youre here and it rains when you’re gone’ line and its going to rain!!! oh my god that’s such a good song i love that song” and i said me too!! Also i’m her complimenting her own song god she’s so talented. She’s absolutely right it is SUCH a good song. And i said “well its raining again tomorrow and i’ll be there!!!” and she was like “but i was thinking about playing [song she didn’t play but i dont want to say--not to be purposefully evasive bc i know its annoying--but bc i dont want her to hate me for saying it publicly asjkfjkas and also bc if she does it at gillette i want to let it be a surprise :( i feel so annoying im sorry] tomorrow because a lot of people requested it” and i was like “I LOVE THAT SONG” and then said something about the song.

And then she said (again) that forever & always was a good request and then looked SO SORRY when she was like “i’m so sorry i’m probably not going to play that today or tomorrow because i already have songs in mind but i promise i’ll try to play it later even though you probably won’t be there :(” and i was like “NO ITS COMPLETELY FINE i loved all the songs you mentioned. I’d love any song that you played it’s your concert do whatever you want you don’t ever have to play it if you dont want to it’s your show you call the shots” and she was like “i love how you keep telling me i can do whatever i want it’s so thoughtful and supportive you’re so nice” LIKE SHE KEPT TELLING ME I WAS NICE THIS WHOLE TIME and i was like “WELL PEOPLE CAN BE DEMANDING” and she was like “YEAH THEY REALLY CAN BE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT THEY’LL GET MAD AT ME OVER ANYTHING they’ll get mad at me if i play a song they don’t like or if i dont play a song they like-” and i was like “i know they’ll get mad at you for excluding so it goes and i’m just like guys its her concert let her live” and she laughed again and called me nice again like she kept saying i’m nice which seems so inconsequential tkjajfnjsa but it was so kind of her shes the best.

So at this point we had been there for a long ass time like it felt long and i was like “wait fuck i haven’t even introduced myself to you” and she was like “whats your name” and i said ariana and she goes “wait like air-iana or like are-iana” and i was like “i literally dont care you can call me whatever you want and i’ll respond” and she like laughed AGAIN and was like “youll just respond to anything huh. But seriously what is it” and i said my name again she was like “ariana. Cool.” bye and then she was like “well do you want to take a picture?” which is when i realized how long it had been and i was like “YEAH” and she just pulled me into a hug for a hugging picture which felt cute bc thats what i wanted to do anyway but she was probably just like god this girl has been in here for 8 years im not asking her what pose she wants to do can we please get going with this jskfnajafs but i didnt mind i was on cloud 9. So as shes hugging me i’m like “oh my god i’m going to blink in this picture and then i’ll have to die” and she was like “you wont blink i promise you wont blink she (the photog) will check to make sure” so we take the pic, the photographer tells me i’m good, and then taylor hugs me again and was like “it’s so nice to meet you” and i was like “it’s so nice to meet you too i didnt expect any of this. thank you so much for all of this i love you” and she huggged me again and called me nice again and then we said bye.

And then the taylor nation girl who was taking my picture (who i then gave all of my polaroids and my rep room pass to for her to hold before i went int asjkfnsafj) was like “here you go sweetie” and gave it to me and then told me to go back out and wait in the hall. And like idk why but once i left the photo area it was like every overwhelming emotion i had felt that entire day came rushing out like i just started crying silently like w tears streaming down my face. Asjkfnaskfjafkj. Like i dont cry so it was so bizarre. I didnt know what was happening. So then i was the only one out there bc i guess the first group had already been escorted out, so i was waiting for the rest of the people to be done and just crying. And then andrea was there so i said hi while crying and she came up to me and was like “hi honey how was it?!?!?” and i was like sarcastically like “oh it was okay ive had better days” and i dont think she knew i was joking at first like her face fell a bit before she realized i cant breahjtraefjs btu she was like “yeah its just a normal saturday for you no big deal” and then i asked her for a picture and she complied of course and i was like “im so sorry for crying idk why im crying” and she was like “its okay sweetie youve been through a lot today” which is honestly the most truthful thing ive ever heard in my life. And then i said “i raelly have” and she was like “this is a really amazing experience for you” and once again no lies detected but it was so funny that she said that about me MEETING HER DAUGHTER JKjkjskafjkfjska. And then i thanked her for raising taylor because i love her or something i cant breahfghasf and she was like “it was my pleasure she made it easy on me” and then finally i was escorted out and i was just crying.

Okay so now i just wanted to tahnk everyone who has been nice to me since saturday it means so so much like obviously i didnt think people would be MEAN TO ME but everyone has been soooooo nice i appreciate it a lot. And also like mayb this is controversial 2 say in this economy but i also want to say that all of the taylor nation people were so nice to me like i think everyones a bit hard on them at times like theyre just doing their jobs guys and it doesnt seem like an easy job sajkfnkjas considering they have to deal with how annoying some of us can be. And also i want to thank all of my friends, jess and liz in particular, bc like i didnt do anything obviously akjfanjksfj like this was all them and i love them so much like they were so happy for me it was equally as exciting to tell them as it was to actually meet taylro idk i just love them so much. IDK WHY IM TREATING THIS LIKE AN OSCARS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH but i obviously obviously i want to thank @taylorswift Idk if you saw my post and requested to meet me or if it was just a coincidence but it was honestly such an amazing experinece and you were so GOOD at talking i cant describe it but you were so calming and i really appreciated it. I feel like we dont appreciate all u do for us enough like youre just so kind and amazing i love you taylor swift i aint never gona stop loving you taylor swift. Idk this was so amazing and so unexpected and i still dont understand how any of this happened to me. THIS WAS CRAZY and it was just everything like everything u hear about meeting taylor is just so true…..shes just so good shes such a good person i want 2 cry………………

if u read all of this…..idk why youd do that but thank you and also im sorry for how long it was i just needed to write it all down for my own memory. Thank youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Once a Witch*

Chapter Six

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Witch!Reader  |  Word Count: 3137 Warnings: Angst, Anger, Smut - NSFW

Leaning your back against the door, you covered your face and let the tears flow. It was the right thing to do, you were sure of it, but it left a gaping hole in your chest. This one was three times the size of the one you’d lived with for three hundred years. It was fresh and bled pain, but you’d done the right thing. The best thing. The only thing you could.

He deserved to live the life he clearly loved, with the people he loved. To be happy.

You should have known better, though. He wasn’t one to give up that easily, and when you heard the glass shatter, you jerked off the door, spinning to face the man angrily pacing toward you.

“You think you can tell me all this, sit there and look at me with longing and those goddamned eyes and then kick my ass out?” He stormed angrily toward you, shield on his arm and glass falling from his frame from the window he'd crashed through.

Again you found yourself backing away. Not out of fear, he would never hurt you, but out of shock. “How did you… get in?” He never should have been able to get back into the house, not with your spell active and protecting the property.

“Brute force and determination,” he growled, stalking you into the bookshelves.

Backing hard into the wood, you knocked everything over with the connection sending crystals and candles and small statues falling.

Steve’s right hand shot out, and everything stopped before it could smash to the ground. “Careful.”

You were too shocked to do more than stare at him, ignoring the objects which flew past you, returning to their place upon the shelving. It had to be the serum. The amazing serum they’d pumped into him back in the forties. It had done something to the magic inside him, unlocking even more of his strength and abilities than ever before.

Once everything was returned to the bookcase, Steve took the shield from his arm and leaned it against the sofa. “Now, we gonna talk about this, (Y/N)?”

The rolling, swinging stride had you swallowing hard when he continued toward you. His hands came up to grip the shelf on either side of your head as he leaned closer, nearly nose-to-nose with you.

“Steve…” You opened and closed your mouth a few times, caught in the spell his eyes had become. Intense, focused blue, glowing with the depth of both anger and magic.

“What made you rabbit, baby?”

“Goddess save me,” you whispered, his question crooned in a manner most coaxing.

One big hand delved into your hair. “She’s a little busy, doll face. Talk to me instead.”

Darting your tongue out to wet your lips, you gave a shuddering sigh. The heat from his body warmed your previously frozen bones. The way he held your hair caused your heart to pound and your womb to clench. He inhaled, and you were nearly certain he could smell the arousal on you.

“You have a good life, Steve, an important one. One where people depend on you. I can’t be selfish again. I won’t take that away from you. I lost you once because I made you choose between what I wanted and what you did. I won’t do that again.”

“Stop talking crazy,” he muttered, his eyes locked on your lips.

“It’s not crazy!” you huffed, shoving at his chest to no avail.

“It is!” he snapped. “If you help me remember, will I forget who I am right now?”

“Well… no,” you admitted.

“All I do is gain back a few centuries worth of memories with a woman who loved me, and whom I loved, right?”

You nodded slowly, hair pulling against his grip. “And a better understanding of your magic.”

“And you? Do I get you, darlin’?” He leaned into you, his entire body moulding to yours.

A thigh somehow nudged its way between your knees, making you whimper. “If… if you want me.”

“I’ve wanted you since the moment I met you,” he breathed. Dipping down, he closed his mouth over yours in a kiss centuries in the making.

Sighing, you went boneless against him, arms lifting to wrap around his neck. It was a kiss for the ages, one that deserved to be recorded in the history books. His hold on your hair gentled. His hand slipped down to cup your jaw as your mouths moved together in perfect harmony. His opposite hand dropped to curl around your waist and draw you from the bookcase, lifting you up till you were standing on your toes, suspended in both time and against him.

The inquisitive flick of his tongue against your lips had your mouth opening on a moan. A slow exploration began as he took his tongue over your teeth and into the depths of your mouth. His stroked against yours, pressed and played, teasing a moan from your chest.

He broke the kiss only to take a deep breath, his forehead coming to rest against yours. “Baby…”

“Steve…”

You smiled when he did.

He held you against him, still on your toes, mouths so close together you could feel the wash of his breath across them. “Don’t push me away, (Y/N). Something… something tore inside me when you did. It hurt like nothing else ever has.”

“Me too,” you admitted, holding him a little tighter.

Taking another breath, deep and shaking slightly, Steve whispered, “Help me remember.”

“But…” you shook your head.

“What’s holding you back?”

“You’ll have to choose,” you whispered. “Me or the Avengers.”

“Why? Why would I have to choose?”

“Because of me,” you sighed.

He chuckled, actually snickered against you. “Darlin’, why couldn’t you just come with me?”

“What?” Jerking back as far as his arm would allow, you stared up at him in amazement.

“You think they wouldn’t welcome another magic wielder?”

“But… I can’t… I don’t use it like that! I can’t!”

His lips brushed yours when the panic filled your voice. “I know. I know, sweetheart. I’ve got all these things jumbling around in my head, but and it harm none keeps coming through like a heartbeat.”

“You… you’re remembering?” you gasped in shock.

He gave a slow nod and smiled. “Bits and pieces.” Caressing your cheek, he brought his thumb to your lips. “Your taste is so familiar. The touch of your hand. The way your skin smells… I can’t explain it. When I kissed you, it was like the first time and the millionth time all wrapped up together.”

“Steve…” you whispered in awe.

“Help me remember.”

Closing your eyes, wallowing in the caress of his hand and the heat of his large body, a heat you’d sorely missed, you gave in. “Okay…”

***

Even as you led him toward the forest at the back of your property, you wondered if you were making a mistake. The basket on your arm was a heavy reminder that what you were about to do could not be undone. When he’d tried to take it from you, you’d clutched it all the tighter.

Arriving at a small, circular clearing, you crouched to place your hand against the ground. The tall grass waved and retreated, the trees bent their branches back allowing the silver light of the moon to flood over the ground. Your circle formed, filled with green grass, lush and thick and so very soft. A ring of flowers in pure white sprang up, took on an ethereal glow while you quietly cast your seal of protection.

Steve held down his hand to help you up, and you took it, peering closely at his face. While a touch of wonder filled his eyes, he only smiled gently and nodded his agreement again.

Holding onto his hand, you stepped over the threshold, your magic buzzing on your skin. “Come in, Steve. You are welcome in my circle.”

A quiver wracked his body when he did so. The blue of his eyes brightening with the increase in power all around. “Wow,” he whispered, his fingers tightening.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” you said with a small smile.

Taking back your hand, you flipped open the top of your basket. Inside, fat white candles waited. Before you could reach for them, they were up and gone, set out exactly as they should be.

Glancing at Steve, he only shrugged. “Follow my heart, right?”

Smirking a little, you lit them with a wave of your hand and reached for the blanket, the cup and the wine you’d included. “Lay that out for me in the center.” You handed him the thick quilt.

He eyed both it and you but did as asked.

Kneeling down, you whispered a prayer to the goddess and pulled the cork from the wine.

“What’s that for?” Steve asked, dropping down to kneel before you once he’d spread the blanket.

“Courage,” you whispered, bringing the cup to your lips and drinking deeply of the dark red wine laced with herbs. Holding out the cup, you arched a brow when he only looked at it. “It will help.”

He drank, watching you over the rim as he repeated your actions.

When he was finished, leaving a mouthful in the bottom, you took it and poured it over the earth. “Take this offering from my heart and help me as I work my art. As the moon this night rises free, return the love once taken from me, as I will so mote it be.”

The soft white glow of the flowers deepened into silver and shifted into blue. It seeped like fog along the grass, flowing in tendrils toward you.

Returning to your feet, you held your hands out for Steve as the first wisp of your magic touched him.

“I… know this place,” he said, staring wide-eyed at the forest.

“Yeah… you do.”

He pointed toward the grove of willows. “There… there was where I…”

“You died. I returned your body to the earth in that grove, and when I bought this house and land, I set a marker for you.”

Turning to you, he gathered you close. “What now?”

A blush filled your face. With a deep breath, you reached up and touched the button nearest his throat. “We need to… you and I need to…” Plucking at the button, it came undone, and you stroked the flesh laid bare.

Colour filled his cheeks. “Really?”

“Sex magic is potent,” you murmured. “We used to… all the time… when we worked a really big spell.”

Determination filled his eyes. Hot hands dipped beneath the hem of your simple t-shirt and stroked the skin of your back.

Your whole body quivered at the contact.

“I’m up for it, baby,” he crooned, lips brushing yours in a tender kiss.

“Steve… be sure… it’s not too late to stop this.”

“I am sure. I’ve been sure since shortly after dinner. You’re the one who drop-kicked me out of your house.”

“Really?”

He pulled back enough for you to see the gentle glow of his eyes and sweet smile. “Yeah. It was taking everything in my power not to jump you in your living room. There’s this… part of me that keeps growling mine. I’m tired of fighting it.”

Your shirt came up over your head with such speed, you gasped out excitedly. Especially as his hands remained on your back while yours were now firmly held above your head by his magic. “Still so tricky.”

Chuckling and tracing his fingers over the band of your jeans, he slipped his palms back to grip your ass and drag you up against him.

The press of his erection into your stomach had you moaning and rocking on your toes. “Steve… please!”

When he released your hands, clothing came off in a frenzy of buttons and tearing seams. The tension which had been building all night, all day, was finally peaking.

Hands roamed everywhere leaving trails of shivering skin and gooseflesh in their wake. Teeth and tongues clashed as kisses grew out of control.

He dropped to his knees to place openmouthed kisses on your stomach, and you cradled his head. The sensations were so familiar but so strong, you cried out when his hand closed over your breast.

“Easy, baby,” Steve murmured against your flesh while tugging and rolling your nipple.

“Oh, Goddess! It’s been so long!” Dragging his head back, you dropped over his lap, your thighs spread wide to straddle his.

It had a harsh groan rippling from him for your dripping wet core skimmed his hard cock like a lover’s teasing caress.

He went over on his back on the quilt, taking you with him.

Plastered to his chest, you nipped and kissed his jaw, rocking your hips down on his clenching abs, trying to ease the ache flooding your core. “I’ve missed you so much. I need you so bad.”

Hard hands grasped your ass, lifted and set you back so your wet heat could slide over his throbbing shaft. There was a spark of memory in his eyes when you looked at him questioningly.

“Take what you need from me. I give it freely.”

Tears gathered again, threatening and finally falling with the words. Sitting back, you began to rock your hips over him, rolling your wet core on his thick cock. Each slide brought friction to your aching clit.

His hands locked around your waist, dragging you down harder over him and higher to catch the head of his erection. “That’s… oh damn…” he panted, eyes glazed and heavy-lidded with lust.

“Wait for it!” you gasped, lifting your hands in the air. The mist closed in, wrapped over you both, curled its way up your body to dance around your fingers. Power flowed into you, gradually growing waves of intensity which lit you up and set your body on fire. “Now!”

Lifting your hips, Steve brought you back down, driving his cock up at the same time, filling you so full you screamed and nearly lost the hold you had on your spell. Throwing both hands out, you began to move again, ride the overwhelming fullness between your thighs with vigour.

The silver moonlight fell upon your spine and set you glowing, filling you with strength and the power of the Goddess even as your long lost lover returned physical pleasure to your life. He cursed softly, drawing your attention down to his face.

Brows drawn together, his tight grip on your waist registered for the first time. Sweat beaded on his forehead. His eyes gleamed the bluest you’d ever seen them. They lifted from where your pendant swung against your chest to your eyes, held for a moment more. Then he was surging up, the show of strength making your core clench around him.

“You’re so damn beautiful like that. Look at you glow, baby.” His hands drifted down to grasp your ass, lift and lower you over the hard length of him.

“So long…” you moaned. “I missed you…”

His teeth nipped into your lip.

Tight coils of pleasure had wrapped so firmly around your womb you thought you’d explode before you finished what you started. The slick glide of him through your fluttering walls drew harsh grunts and sexy growls from his throat. You wanted nothing more than to simply fall into the passion, but the spell was so close to being finished you held back, held out for a few more seconds.

“Tell me your close,” he moaned, his mouth dropping to lay sucking kisses to your throat and shoulder.

“So close.” Every part of you throbbed and burned for him. Shockwaves of pleasure pulsed with every beat of your heart, with every thrust of his heavy cock through your tight core.

When the final remnants of the spell gathered around you, you brought your hands to rest on his shoulders continuing to roll your hips. Your breasts connected with his chest, nipples rubbing most pleasingly as you clutched him closer. “I missed you mo ghaisgeach, mo ghaol.”

One big hand threaded into your hair, tugged your head back for his lips to find the hollow of your throat. “Thoir dhomh a h-uile dad, mo leannan.”

The mist wrapped tightly around you both, the magic finally peeking as the love you’d been holding back came forth on a cry of his true name. “Aneirin!” screamed from your lips when your orgasm overcame you, tightening your walls and milking his cock in rapid contractions.

“Nessa!” he bellowed, body shaking as he followed you over into ecstasy, the hot wave of his seed making you whimper.

Draped over Steve, body humming but exhausted, you rested against his chest and shoulder while your heart slowed and breathing normalized. The gentle stroking of his hands over your back was almost enough to make you purr like a kitten.

“Nessa…” he whispered, his face nuzzling into your throat. “Oh, Goddess, Nessa! I remember. I remember everything!”

“Welcome back, Aneirin,” you sighed happily. The world rapidly tilted and you giggled to find yourself beneath him.

Bright, excited eyes full of love peered down at you. “How could I… I can’t believe… I forgot you. Oh, darlin’.” Pressing his forehead to yours, he shuddered.

“Not your fault. Not your fault at all.”

Tracing your fingernails over his back, you smiled when you felt your heart beat in time with his. Content and whole for the first time in three hundred years, you wallowed in the warmth of his body.

“You’re too giving, mo ghaol.”

“I’ve missed you Aneirin.”

“Think I’ll stick with Steve.”

“Steve…” You turned your head to see him in the moonlight. “What happens now?”

Settling to your side, he pulled you in close and gently touched your cheek. “I’d hope you’d come home with me, back to the tower. Come meet the team and I think… I think we’ll tell them the truth.”

“Really?” Stunned you could only stare.

“Yeah. It’s not like it was in the past, Nessa. I trust them, I really do. I think it’s time.”

Taking a shuddering breath, you gave a slow nod. “I like (Y/N). And I’ll go anywhere you want, as long as I’m with you.”

He smiled then, big and wide, and rolled you underneath him. “No need to go anywhere for a few days. I’m still on furlough and have a few centuries to make up for.”

Laughing, you clutched him close and breathed him in. While it might scare you, your future unknown and new people on the horizon, you had him back. Aneirin, Henry, Steve. The love of your life was once again back at your side.

Whatever came next, as long as you had each other you would be alright.

-The End-

mo ghaisgeach, mo ghaol - my brave one, my love Thoir dhomh a h-uile dad, mo leannan - Give me everything, my darling.

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

Avengers: Storm

Summary: The avengers have just defeated Ultron, a much needed victory for the weary team, but another storm is coming their way. A new member joins the team and has some very unexpected effects on everyone, especially the Captain himself, Steve Rogers.     Secrets are revealed, scars revisited, and new wounds formed as they battle one of their toughest and most personal battles yet. All they can do is hope this wont be their breaking point...

characters: Steve Rogers/Captain America, Tony Stark/Iron Man, Widow, Hawkeye, Banner, Thor, All the Avengers, and a few original characters

Rating: Mature (just in case, still havent fully decided yet)

Note: So yay, im finally posting this after i said i would do thisa week ago... opps! And this is my first Avengers fic so be nice :)      But before you read, just a little tidbit about my writting. I love to add in new characters and it usually involves some sort of romance of some kind, so if you dont like OC’s then this might not be the fic for you, and thats ok! I also love making everything into series which this will probably end up being, so be prepared for that. But for those of you who do read it i hope you enjoy it!! And be sure to let me know what you think! ok, here it goes...

Chapter 1:

Stark Tower

     “Stark!” a familiar voice carried across the loud dance floor to the ears of the billionaire walking casually towards the bar. “You’ll throw a party for anything won’t you.”

    Tony reached the bar with one last step, a powerful hand landing on his shoulder giving him the extra push to make it there without falling.

    “Well, Captain, I hardly think defeating Ultron is any reason not to party,” he began, raising his hand to get the bar tenders attention, “we have saved the world twice, once from an alien invasion lead by Thor’s overly jealous not God adoptive brother, and once from a robot invasion initiated, not intentionally, by yours truly. A few drinks and a dance or two,” he said as he raised a glass to his friend, “is well deserved.”

    The two of them downed both of their drinks in one go, Tony ordering another round.

    “Stark, Cap, good to see you again.”

    “Doctor Banner,” Steve reached forward shaking Bruce's hand.

    Tony turned handing yet another drink to Steve then looking to Bruce, “Ah, another arrival. A drink Doctor Banner? Come on, on the house.”

    Hesitantly he declined, “No thanks. I’d better not, you know…just in case.”

    Tony pointed his drink at Bruce with wide eyes. “Fun, Banner, you’re allowed to have some.”

    “Best to be on the safe side I think.”

    “Well as much as I admire your extremely boring sense of responsibility and lack of adventure,” Tony said as he took three more drinks from the bar, “I'm going to party like the eccentric genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist I am.”

    With that stark left the two men at the bar and wiggled his way through the bouncing dance floor.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Five hours later the party was just as thriving as it was when it first started. The group of Avengers had assembled in a quieter corner of the room, Tony with one girl on each arm, both of them hanging off of every word.

    Between the laughs and slurred sentences shared amongst the Avengers, Jarvis's faint cries could be heard, “Sir, Sir!”

    Tony stopped laughing. “Yes Jarvis, what is it?”

    “Sir, there is a lady caller at the front desk for you. She stresses it is very important.”

    “Was she invited to the party, Jarvis?” Tony continued to flirt with the two blondes beside him on the couch.

    “No Sir,” Jarvis continued sounding strained, “you must see to her, Sir, she asked specifically for you.”

    “She's probably some corporate solicitor trying to get a meeting,” he sighed and with a wave of his hand continued, “just…tell her I'm in a meeting or…just make something up Jarvis, isn’t that what I invented you for.”

    Sounding quite annoyed now Jarvis persisted, “No, Sir, you invented me as an aid to yourself and your work, not a butler nor a liar. Now, Sir, I wish you to see to this young lady immediately. If it helps any she has a two toned hair colour, almost a silver blonde on top with a dark grey on the bottom, pale skin, no older then 28 I would guess. She says it’s an emergency, sir.”

    “Silver and grey hair?” with that Tony ran with a speed a man as drunk as him should not have been able to reach and within minutes was in the nearest elevator heading to the lobby, quickly followed by the rest of the Avengers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Please! You don’t understand I must see Mr. Stark right away!”

    The secretary behind the desk looked more then angry as she scowled at the girl over the rim of her glasses, “Miss, I have told you, Mr. Stark is a very busy man and has no time for children to come barging into his office demanding to speak with him. If you don’t leave now I will be forced to contact the proper authorities.”

    “Busy,” the young girl laughed, “he’s probably having a party right now isn’t he?”

    The secretary didn’t say anything confirming her theory.

    “Well you tell him party’s over!” the girl said with shaking hands as she whispered desperately, “I need to see him, I need his help.”

      With an exaggerated sigh the secretary gave her a stern look, “Miss, either make an appointment,” she lifted the phone, “or I'm calling the police.”

    The young girl didn’t know what to do as she ran shaking hands through her long hair.

    “You give me no choice,” the secretary said to her.

    With no one else to go to and no other options what was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t get arrested.

    “Leeanna?!”

    Both the young girl and the secretary’s heads turned in the direction of the voice.

    “Uncle Tony!” the young blonde ran past the secretary’s desk and into the waiting arms of Tony Stark.

    “Uncle?” all the Avengers questioned in unison.

    Ignoring them all he focused on soothing the panicked girl in his arms as he ran gentle hands through her hair, “Calm down, stop shaking, you’re with me now.”

    With a concentrated breath she pulled back from his chest looking up to him. “I'm sorry, Uncle Tony, I had no where else to go. Then your secretary wouldn’t let me in, I was seconds away from getting arrested, I have no one else to turn to.”

    Tears welled in her eyes as her hands began to shake again. Pulling her in, Tony looked to his staff and ordered, “Any time this girl comes looking for me she gets a free pass. I don’t care if I am in the most important meeting of my life, I don’t care if I'm saving the queen of England, this girl comes first! Are we clear?!”

    His staff remained silent, heads down, he muttered a quick “good” before turning to his friends behind him and saying, “Out. Get everyone out of my tower, now.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    With the guests now gone and the party with them, Tony sat the young girl down before placing himself across from her. Taking both her hands in his, looking to her down cast eyes, he said softly, “Now, tell me what happened?”

    The girl gave no answer.

    “Did your parents send you here again?”

    Looking to him she answered, “No. I came on my own this time.”

    “Do your parents even know you’re here?!” With a shake of her head Tony let go a knowing sigh, “Jarvis, please call Leeanna's parents and let them know she's safe with me and will probably be staying here for a while. Their number is in my data base under Richard and Marina Burke.”

    “Right away, Sir.”

    “Leeanna,” he caught her smoky grey eyes in his, one last attempt at the truth, “what did you do?”

    Without looking away she pulled her hands from his, reaching into a pocket on the side of her pants. She brought a closed fist to his hands, placing a cold solid object in his palm, and gently closing his fingers over it before bringing her hands back to rest in her lap. Hesitantly, Tony opened his closed hand revealing a single piece of white stone, rough on some edges smooth on others.

    With a raised brow he asked, “Leeanna, what is this?”

    “It might be a piece of the White House that I may or may not have accidentally shattered the side of while visiting Washington with my family.” She said all in one breath, squeezing her eyes tight as she finished.

    Tony stood and walked to the back of his chair, clutching the stone in his right hand against his forehead, his other hand resting on his hip. “Oh, Lee…” was all he could manage.

    “I'm sorry!” her voice cracked as the tears returned, “This is why I never go outside, all it takes is for one thing to go wrong and something like this happens! But my parents insisted on taking me with them. I begged them to send me to you but they wouldn’t listen. Now every cop, agent, and news reporter in the country is hunting down the maniac that blew up the White House!”

    “Hold on,” Clint came closer, a confused look on his face, “you blew up the White House? How do you blow up the White House? There are secret service agents scattered every two feet, trained assassins can’t get in.”

    She looked to her uncle in pure desperation, searching for some kind of understanding. “Uncle Tony, I'm so sorry. I really didn’t mean it, you know I can’t control it!”

    Tony turned to her, looking to her balled fists in her lap. In one leap he was on his knees in front of her, holding both her wrists in his hands. “Leeanna! Leeanna, stop shaking!”

    “Stark…” Steve slowly stepped closer to the two, Tony completely ignoring him.

    “Lee,” he said begging her to look at him, “Lee, look at me, stop…shaking.”

    She met his eyes once more before choking out in defeat, “I can’t.”

    Tony let her hands go, standing to say to everyone, “Get back! Now!”

    Before anyone could register what was happening they were hit by a powerful wind. It escaped from the young blonde in the center of the room and shot in all directions with a force so strong the room was destroyed in mere seconds. The wind twirled around her, cocooning her inside its wall of protection, shattering glass, tables, chairs, anything it could. The Avengers were thrown across the room, holding on to what they could to keep themselves grounded. Opening her eyes and seeing just what she had done only made the wind worse, stronger as she further lost control. Tony tried desperately to get to her, to shout to her, trying to calm the girl but nothing worked as the wind raged on around her.

    She sat with her face buried in her shaking hands, curled in on herself, trying with all of her strength to take hold of the situation but she could feel her emotions gripping her tighter and tighter not letting go.

    Her eyes shot open as warm hands gripped her wrists, pulling them away from her face. “Stop! I’ll only hurt you!” The panic worsened the wind even more as she tried to pull away from Steve.

    He held her arms, keeping himself calm. “Hey, it’s ok. Just take a deep breath, close your eyes, and concentrate on my voice.”

    With no other choice she did as he said, taking a deep breath and releasing it as she closed her eyes.

    “Now relax, don’t think of anything else, void all thoughts.” Steve's smooth voice echoed in her head and she could feel him taking hold, finally subduing the storm inside. She could feel as her hands slowly stopped shaking, as he gently placed them back in her lap.

    Placing one hand on either side of her face he whispered, “You can open your eyes now.”

    She peeked her eyes open, afraid to see the damage she had done, but her eyes remained fixed on one thing. “I…I didn’t hurt you.” She whispered.

    Steve continued to kneel in front of her, allowing her attention to dwell on him and away from the destruction she had just caused. Cautiously she reached both hands forward, brushing her finger tips up his arms, over his shoulders, across every crevice of his face.

    “How did I not hurt you?” she whispered.

    “I don’t know,” he whispered back, eyes fixed on her, “maybe my strength helped, the fact that I am a super soldier.”

    A crash from behind brought the two of them out of their daze. Tony emerged from a pile of broken chairs and tables, half suited up, shaking splinters from every nook.

    “I hate to ruin this, oh so tender moment,” the sarcasm dripping from him, “but…my house is ruined and you broke the Avengers. Congratulations.”

    Finally looking around her she began to panic again. She had destroyed everything. There was not one item that remained untouched. The Avengers were scattered around the room, most with some form of broken bone, bleeding from various places, moaning as they thanked God it was over.

    A hand came up to land on her cheek, “Hey, Leeanna, just relax.” Steve could feel her hands beginning to shake again under his but his touch instantly calmed her, her hand coming up to hold his as she let out a shaky breath as she tried to understand what had just happened. She did not know this man, she knew he was the famous Cap but that was it. so after only minutes of knowing him, how could he have such a strong hold on her already.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, thats chapter 1, I hope you all liked it ^^

[phoenixknightv2]

To a certain someone

I really didn’t want to have to do this but If you think I’m not gonna go out swinging after the events of Tuesday morning. If you think I’m gonna just forget about this....

YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN!!!!!!!!

First of all, I poured my fucking heart and soul out to you. I told you a lot of stuff that I don’t tell a lot of other people. I fucking opened up to you because I thought you understood me because you are also a fellow aspie. I don’t trust a lot of people these days. I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU!!!!!

Yes did I make my mistakes in coming on too strong yes I fucking did. But I said it before and I said it again,

I

WILL

NEVER

EVER

EVER APOLOGIZE

FOR HOW I FELT

If you think you are so innocent in what happened you are sadly mistaken. Telling me and I Quote “I never had another guy who cared about me and was truthful and honest in general and in the Pursuit of me like you” OH AND ALSO ASKING ME DO I WANT TO MAKE OUT FOR MY BIRTHDAY? THAT YOU HAVENT HAD IT IN AWHILE?!?!? LIKE WHO DOES THAT?!?!?? Especially because of the fact I legitimately gave a rats ass about you. Especially answering your calls at work

But you know what, here’s where I’m really angry. Here’s where I’m really hurt, it’s not the fact that we’re not together. It’s the fact that you made a promise that no matter what I say you won’t abandon me. Cause you’ve heard worse. Then Tuesday morning happens. You say even as friends we can’t talk anymore because you don’t want to be “disrespectful” to the new “relationship” with the guy you apparently are getting serious with.

Oh WAIT A MINUTE YOU TOLD ME YOU DONT WANT A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW WITH ALL YOU’RE DEALING WITH RIGHT NOW!!! YOU WANNA TAKE IT SLOW YOU WANNA GET TO KNOW PEOPLE AND NOW THERES ANOTHER GUY THAT YOU ARE GETTING SERIOUS WITH?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? WERE YOU PLAYING ME?!?!? WERE YOU TEASING ME BECAUSE IT WAS A SICK GAME TO YOU AND YOU GET OFF ON THAT?!?! THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!?!? CAUSE I DAMN SURE HAVE QUESTIONS!!!!

MONDAY NIGHT I OPENED UP EVEN MORE IN AN ATTEMPT TO NOT PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP BUT BECAUSE I HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THE CRAP I WAS DEALING WITH!!!!!!!! I WAS TRYING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU BECAUSE I WAS LOSING MYSELF AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!!!! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT

While I was very upset the last two days, while you fucking hurt me bad, I should also say thank you. Thank you for giving me the wake up call I needed. Thank you for fucking showing me who you really are. Because you know what, I want you now to feel what I’ve been feeling my entire life and I love myself first so much that I’m not gonna just let this pass and do nothing. After everything I’ve done for you, Tuesday morning was a slap to my face. A hardcore slap. The money I spent, the good time and the care I tried to show you despite what I was dealing with inside myself

What really hurts me is I love your family. Your family is cool. But as History shows I probably won’t ever see you again and you know what, I’m ok with that because I’m done having fake ass people showing fake love to me. Unlike you, I’m not afraid to be verbal and open because I have nothing to hide. Turns out you don’t know who I really am.

Before my closing statement, I’m laughing because if this new guy is from Tinder something you admitted you were trying to get away from and that you hated then you are part of this broken society. You are just as big of a hypocrite as everyone else.

So in my final closing statement, I really do wish you well. I hope things work out for you especially with that guy you are apparently are getting serious with because if it doesn’t Don’t you dare come crying back to me because I won’t be there. I’am done pouring my heart out to people who don’t deserve it. Say whatever you want about me. Talk shit about me. I DONT CARE BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT IM DONE BEING WEAK!!!! I’M DONE BEING THIS SOCIETYS JOKE!!!! Yes I made mistakes and I’ve owned up to them, yes I know I’ve said if it doesn’t happen between us that it would make me question when is my time coming. Because in general, that’s what I’m feeling. Something you clearly don’t understand especially when I’ve been looked at as a freak my entire life and as a joke. But again I’m not mad about that, I’m mad about a promise you made me that you wont abandon me but yet here we are. Last but not least i’am having health problems so at this point if shit continues to hit the fan, if I die then you know what the crap I’ve been dealing with will actually be doing me a major favor then if I die of a heart attack so at this point I have absolutely nothing to lose.

I’m not perfect but I did the very best I could. This wouldn’t have been a damn issue to me had it had not gotten personal like it did but because it did, i take it personally. I really didn’t want to have to do this but I’m not gonna let injustice get away anymore. Plus the frustrations of the pressure I’m under, work, trying to get everything back together.....straw that broke the camels back.

Again I’m not angry that we’re not together, I’m angry because you BROKE A PROMISE!!! You say you care about what happens to me and you won’t abandon me, well Tuesday was a giant fuck you to the face and shows me otherwise. After everything I’ve done for you in the short time I’ve known you, that’s a giant fuck you slap to the face alright.

I have a Question for you. Did any of our conversations mean anything to you? Did the times the great times we had mean anything to you? The fact I cared enough to fix your phone and not ask for anything in return? The fact that I cared enough to be there for you, to answer your calls when I was at work when you were struggling at your Nanny job, to use a shit ton of my money to show you a good time, etc and all I asked for despite my imperfections is the same respect and care I gave you. Does that mean anything to you at all?

I guess not but I guess if this is the end which it probably is as history shows then I got nothing to lose.

One things for certain

The Truth has set Me Free

Remember these three words and remember the name

PHOENIX KNIGHT FOREVER

RECOGNIZE

PHOENIX KNIGHT FOREVER

Now we’re done

[disarmingly]

:D

Ah, thank you so much for agreeing to the commission, you made me really happy!

Don’t worry please and take all the time you need! I can be patient if it‘s worth the wait and with your works it definitely is.

To be honest I‘d like it even more if you wouldn‘t explicitly state that they are soulmates - but you can still make it as soulmate-y as you want. I know it‘s pathetic but this way I can tell myself that it‘s a realistic story and that it could also happen in the real world? Ah, please just ignore this I’m stupid for wanting to find someone like that. Don’t let my rambling burden you please.

You can reply however you want, with or without showing my messages, however you feel more comfortable. If you’d rather speak to me directly you can also use this mail address if you want to but if you’d rather talk via tumblr that’s fine as well :)

Could you however do me a great favour please and tell me at least vaguely what amount of money you’d like to get? Because I know that your work and your time and the effort and soul you put into your writing are essentially beyond prize/priceless but I want to give you at least something in return and therefore I’d like to know with what kind of price you’d be ok. So could you please tell me? :) You don’t have to tell me right away, you can think about it a while longer if you want to. But please no saying that your working isn’t good enough to be payed for or anything like that because it obviously IS good enough or else I wouldn’t be willing to pay for it, would I? ;)

Have a good (relaxing, fulfilling, maybe even happy) day

Commission anon

P.S.

Not commission related and probably a bit too personal but; is there anything one could do to make you feel a bit more safe or grounded? You sound awfully lost in your last posts and it pains my soul to think that you might be hurting. So if there’s ANYTHING that might help, that I could do please let me know. And if it’s too much/too personal to ask this or too overwhelming and confusing right now or if makes you uncomfortable then please ignore this and just pretend it was never there.

i can definitely make the soulmate thing very clear. that is a thing i haven’t done before so im interested in it i mean in that it would be a very like…concrete thing rather than my typical kind of implied or proven ways. some combination ^^;; especially for yoonkook / sugakookie im interested in this. i have so many ideas for this sort of longing and finding and completion motifs that im always really into haha ;; it’s like you picked things you already know i like ;; i feel al ittle bad…ah uiojklefsd i will do my best. as for price i um…i mean i have just no meter for the worth of my own things… i was looking around at other fic commissions and there seems to be a range of 15-20 dollars? for like 3k? and then $5 for every additional 1k? but idk if that’s reasonable or just what i’m seeing bc that’s all twitter is showing me squints into the distance…..some people have different base prices than the 15-20 for longfic ranging from like 40-50 but at that point i become really uncomfortable. i know that when i asked someone their opinion they were like blah blah professional writers blah this many words per blah etc…and they weren’t wrong. professional writers do or at least CAN get paid like $100 a day but lol i was like first of all i think i’ve seen people pay for fanart maybe around 80-150? but i think writing is generally harder for people to um… put a monetary unit on. idk. im using that acronym a lot im sorry ;; im just nervous ah. this is one huge clump of babbling ;; i havent actually slept in a few days so like is why im able to answer haha bc my nerves are lowered i guess bc im so…sleepy…b-but i hope that…is a sense of things? at least or if you want i can babble more later…in mail or something ;;

it is selfish of me but the post script makes me feel idk like im always crying a lot lately but that sort of crying that it gives me is kind of hopeful. it’s not so much that i think it’ll be okay like oh it will be okay but that…the crying is like a path to thinking sometimes things are close enough to okay. i always look at how worse people have it. i try to be in perspective no matter how bad it gets for me it cant be so bad because its not like it is for other people in more dire situations. but then i think if someone told me they felt like this i would tell them: everything is relative. i would tell them its okay to be worried or sad because thats the honest feeling….but somehow even knowing this i cant quite do it for myself. i think though a thing like what you tell me, that you care and stuff…ah it’s really… im so stupid haha it’s like too much and just perfect all at once because i guess part of me needs that. but i should do better. to deserve it. im sorry i hope this makes sense. i think this is my last reply of the night but mor e later ihope…

please take care commissions anon<3 and thank youfor thinking im worth…anything. really thank you…/rubs eyes ;_;