#ive been sitting at my desk doing nothing with awful posture for an hour now. i need to shower. i need to tidy my room.
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there is rot in my brain and i don't know if it'll ever go away
#at any and all times i feel so aware of everything that's going wrong and so unequipped to do anything abt it#but everything i do feels wrong. like some sad attempt at taking a step down the right path after years spent walking the wrong one#nothing is ever going 2 make things feel right. nothing i have ever done has helped. everything is so hopeless.#ive been sitting at my desk doing nothing with awful posture for an hour now. i need to shower. i need to tidy my room.#i need a job. i need to do something that let's me live just a little. i need to see the people i love.#i need to walk out into the rain and vanish and have nobody ever question what happened to me or if there ever even was a me.
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