#thoughts after a melatonin

[random-autistic-loser]

Melatonin thoughts pt. 2 or 3!!!

I can't tell if I wanna look at Newt or Mike Schmidt fanfiction, because if I'm being totally honest? My friend is OBSESSED With maze runner rn just like how she was with Josh Hutcherson! And she somehow is dragging me into the hole????

[endivinity]

also an update on the ADHD situation: nz only gets access to four meds, two of which are the same thing with different release times, and one nonstimulant. I've tried two! one of them made me irrationally angry and the other made me incredibly forgetful and also reacted poorly with my melatonin which has now actually caused me injuries. i'm gonna go on the fast release of my current one and if that fails, the nonstimulant. and if THAT fails, a secret fifth medication will be unlocked (nz's getting a couple more meds approved for use next year)

[suddencolds]

~

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

something about that whole incident must have changed something in my brain chemistry cause my insomnia’s gotten bad again

the past few days i’ve getting to sleep at two or three. kinda sucks i guess, but i don’t really want to resort to taking melatonin again

[cut-n-snared]

my friends b like ‘oh you’re so lucky you actually have a good sleep schedule’

when sleep is my only escape from this shithole

[tapewyrm-talks]

I tried to see a new psychiatrist but was refused because I use Delta 8 weed (which is sold legally in the smoke shop near me) and said she thinks that the way it's advertised might be "dangerous for society" even though I emphasized that it's to manage my chronic pain that keeps me up at night. Like yeah I know some studies say weed can make certain issues like depression and anxiety worse, but that's not my experience, and she did not try to understand the nuance of it at all. It's just very frustrating. Sorry you don't "feel comfortable" adding me to your practice because of how I manage my chronic pain, but trying to use melatonin or sleep medication instead is not going to help my problems.

[faithfromanewperspective]

idk how to explain it but a rage-driven desire to change the world coupled with the anticipation of finally dealing with something weighing on me for a long time and the relief that something can be done about that thing but also. racing thoughts and being unable to not act Right Now or say no to any of the ideas I have on how this can be done, while also having a breakthrough and processing a bunch of things that have happened to me and how they impacted me all of a sudden—that’s not normal ‘period is about to hit’ behaviour/experience is it?

[moe-broey]

Bro I got like one hour of sleep. Because of Alfonse Fire Emblem .

[messybouquetoflilies]

its rly weied to think that super conservative mormon chaser dudes have been into me since way before i came out. it was a running joke in my jr high/hs friend group that i was a trap. one guy routinely used me as "wrestling practice" while i knew absolutely nothing about it, n it was basically him just tossing me around like a ragdoll, another would take me and only me to movies, but wouldnt socialize with me around his friends outside of school, and also once said that i had "the breeding hips of a woman", and another one locked me in a band locker (i asked him to it looked cozy. ive always been like this what can i say) n threatened to not let me out if i didnt promise to sit next to him on the bus to a band trip we were going to... one of these guys joined one of those nazi militatias, another one is married with a kid, and i have no idea what happened to the third. growing up in the heart of mormon land rly was a trip. i was so scared of being outed at the time too, so i rly didnt play into any of it. weird that they just decided that was a thing tho

[slippery-minghus]

oh no. i feel like if i do not consume an entire load of bread in the very near future i will simply cease to exist.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i love christmas in theory but its scary to me how little i remenber to do things

[random-autistic-loser]

Melatonin thoughts part 1 Ig!

New thread or smth I'ma start for thoughts after I js had a melatonin

Day 1 :

My favourite songs rn that make me ascend:

It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest

O Superman - Laurie Anderson

K - Cigarettes After Sex

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

Peace Sign - NateWantsToBattle

[slow-drowned-angels]

People wonder why I don’t drink coffee as if I can sleep regularly without added melatonin. As if I don’t have so so much natural anxiety that I have pills for that too. As if I wouldn’t just dissociate my way through the caffeine-induced anxiety, such that I would end up effectively being more tired than I was originally.

But of course I don’t owe them my medical history. I just smile and say “My body doesn’t process caffeine well.”

[akumanoken]

Me thinking about a tag for Estinien: IF THAT JUST WHAT DRAGOONS DO WHEN THEY FINISH THEIR DAY JOB? JUST FUCKING GO ON TOUR?

[britneyshakespeare]

why does scheduling my work days give me so much stress and anxiety

[chirsu]

No C-PAP. Don't even get to try it to see if it would improve my quality of life. He just diagnosed me with insomnia and told me to go seek alternative sleep aid elsewhere.

One thing he asked was if I took melatonin. I do, I even pair it up with benadryl and told him it doesn't help. My sleep is not restful, I can't stay asleep either, AND I feel horribly fatigued all day. After that, he just suggested doubling up on it (10mg would become 20mg), and I think... That sounds... Ummmm?