#y’know i have thoughts like ford but the only demon here is my faulty synapses
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something about that whole incident must have changed something in my brain chemistry cause my insomnia’s gotten bad again
the past few days i’ve getting to sleep at two or three. kinda sucks i guess, but i don’t really want to resort to taking melatonin again
#i took melatonin every night for a year straight and now i get frequent headaches and nightmares every time i sleep#is that the melatonin or is that the year that most of my trauma comes from/when it got worse#hard to say. maybe both. i don’t remember!#and y’know it sucks not being able to go to sleep#because i can’t even read after a certain point#it gets too watery and everywhere and it’s difficult to figure out the words and letters#mmm i did say you wouldn’t be hearing from me until tomorrow#but it’s past midnight here so that’s fine it’s fine#i don’t like tumblr anymore. i don’t like being here anymore#i get scared whenever i get activity now. i get uncomfortable just having the tab open#how pathetic is that?#really pathetic. really fucking pathetic#probably because i know they’re still looking at me and i hate being watched#y’know i have thoughts like ford but the only demon here is my faulty synapses#it feels pathetic. i feel pathetic. i don’t have a reason like he does#and even then people say he doesn’t have enough of a reason#i’m so fucking pathetic
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