#when you get 8 hours of sleep every night but still feel fucking wiped every day you know you’re fucked

[cut-n-snared]

my friends b like ‘oh you’re so lucky you actually have a good sleep schedule’

when sleep is my only escape from this shithole

[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Aftermath || LN4 {8}

Pairing: Lando Norris x widow!reader Summary: Two years after the accident it's race week in Imola but are you ready to return to the track that took your husbands life? Warnings: 18+ only, grief, panic attack WC: 2.4k

F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten || Eleven || Twelve || Thirteen || Epilogue

Imola 2024 Lando’s blurry image swayed with the waves on the surface and you watched him for another few moments from where you sat on the bottom of the pool. Your chest was burning as you broke the surface and you gasped in a lungful of air before wiping the water from your face and swimming over the edge he took a seat on. 

The sounds of the city coming to life returned and you missed the quiet stillness that came with submerging yourself under the water.

“What time did you wake up?” Lando asked with yawn as he combed a hand through the wild mess atop his head.

You weren’t sure if you had even gone to sleep. You had laid beside Lando for hours, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath and lacing your fingers with his when they blindly searched for you in his sleep. “A little while ago.”

You were accustomed to the memories that resurfaced everywhere you went, and you were used to seeing the parts of René that were ingrained in everything he left behind. But being back in this city was the hardest memory to face. 

The race had been cancelled last year, and that had been the weekend that brought Lando back into your life. This year there was no act of god to keep the Grand Prix from going ahead and you had spent most of the drive to Imola silently staring out the window. Every now and again his hand on your thigh would give a reassuring squeeze and you would give him a weak smile in return.

McLaren still booked the same boutique hotel and the same premier room with the view over the Santerno river that ran past the circuit. You knew it was a simple business arrangement and no one gave a second thought to using the suites they knew from experience were of high quality. But it was all you could think about when Lando pulled into the valet parking. 

How were you expected to sleep in the same bed you had shared with René on the very last night you had together? The question had turned over in your mind as you lay there, the sheets suddenly too stifling to bear any longer. Stars had still littered the sky when you slipped into the tepid water and let it wash over your head to silence the thoughts. 

“Breakfast is ready when you are,” Lando broke your trance as he held open a towel for you to step into.

“I don’t think I can come with you today,” you whispered as he wrapped the soft material around you and held you in his arms for a moment. 

He nodded and his arms tightened their hold before he released you to go and get changed. When you looked back you expected to see him following but he was raising his phone to his ear and turning his back.

“We couldn’t help but notice you’ve arrived alone to the track this week. Is everything alright between you and Y/N, and can we expect to see her at the race today? She hasn’t missed a single one of yours since she made her return to the paddock last year.”

Lando twisted the microphone in his hands and his lips pressed in a tight line while he debated whether to answer the question or tell them to piss off. It was Carlos who made the decision for him as the Ferrari driver lifted his own microphone to his mouth.

“This is a tough weekend for all of us. The last time we raced on this track was with René, and returning without him it’s…” Carlos trailed off quietly with a shrug as the crowd fell silent. “Just ask Pierre and Charles how it feels returning to Spa every year.”

“It’s hard, man,” Pierre murmured into his microphone, Charles nodding in agreement. 

“It’s fucking hard,” Carlos reiterated as his palm slapped his thigh. “And we were only friends, but for Y/N, it has to be so much harder to return here, on this weekend especially.” He shifted as he tried to calm down and sat back on the sofa they all sat upon with a sigh and waved his hand down the line of drivers on the panel. “We can understand why she isn’t here, as should all of you, but if she decides to come then we will all be here to support her.”

The interviewer pressed her finger to her ear and a smile grew on her face at the news she was hearing. “Well, as it happens Lando, your car was just spotted coming in so it looks like Y/N has decided to come after all.”

Lando shifted on the seat so he could pull his phone from his trousers and saw the text messages and calls he had missed. “Sorry, guys, I’ve gotta go,” he apologised before Oscar took his microphone and gave him a reassuring push.

You had tried to be strong for Lando’s sake but the moment the door closed behind him you had buried yourself under a mountain of blankets on the couch. You had tried so hard to make it to the sessions each day but you hadn’t been able to take that final step over the threshold. 

Now it was raceday and the second anniversary of René’s accident. There was nothing left in the well of your energy, no hidden strength you could muster to take that step out of the room.

Lando had watched you try and it had been enough for him as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and slipped his keys into your hand, just in case. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go,” he murmured as he wished he had even one minute more to see if you would follow. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said as you blinked back the tears of disappointment and watched him leave. “Be safe.”

A knock sounded at the door a few minutes later and you threw the blankets back that you were overheating underneath. “Did you forget your pass agai-” your words were choked from your throat at the woman standing in front of you when you opened the door.

“Lando called,” she said as she smiled sadly. “I came as fast as I could.”

You fell forward and sobbed as she wrapped her arms around you and sniffed back her own tears. “Shhh, it’s going to be okay, ma chérie, maman’s here. Dry your eyes, my René wouldn’t want to see you like this.” She guided you back inside and closed the door behind her. “Now, I’m going to make you a chamomile tea and then we are going to have a little talk.”

You did as you were told after giving Maria Gauthier one more hug. It had been too long since you last saw her but you hadn’t known what relationship there was when the person who was the bridge was gone. You hadn’t been sure if she was still even considered your mother-in-law so you had pulled away and lost touch with her like so many other people that year. But Lando hadn’t.

“I had hoped to see you at the memorial,” Maria said as she placed two steaming hot mugs on the table and took a seat. “I was furious when I found out they hadn’t invited you.”

“I wasn’t in a good space anyway,” you said as you cupped your palms around the drink and let the ceramic warm your palms. “I’m sorry I never returned your calls.”

“It’s water under the bridge.” She placed her hand over yours and you noticed the white band stark compared to her sun kissed skin. Her eyes followed yours and she sighed sadly as she rubbed the space where her wedding ring used to sit. “We all grieve in our own ways,” she murmured before hiding her hands under the table. “Leo found his salvation in a waitress in Bordeaux.”

“I’m so sorry, maman.”

“Don’t be, it’s not anyone’s fault. There was a gaping hole in our family without René and nothing the two of us could do to fix it. But we move forward, because Gauthier women are strong, right?” She pinned you with a stare until you nodded feebly. “Good, so get dressed because you have a race to get to.”

Water sloshed over the cup, burning your hands, as you shook your head violently. “I can’t go there.” Your breathing was too rapid, the room starting to spin as you relived that moment when you heard the squeal of locked tires then the clash of metal crumpling and saw the flames engulfing the car. “I can’t…”

“You can and you will, and I will be right by your side,” Maria promised as she moved the cup away and gently dried your hands. “Did you know I came here after the funeral?”

You frowned at the information. “You did?”

“Mhmm,” she nodded. “I don’t know what I thought I was going to do, but when I got to the track all that anger and pain I was feeling just vanished. I swear, poof, gone. And then I felt his presence, and how could I not? He dedicated his entire life to racing, he loved it, chérie, and you can feel it there. I’ll show you.”

Your hands trembled as they hovered over the clothes hanging in the closet, torn between Lando’s Quadrant colours and McLarens. With a steadying breath you pushed aside your normal choice and chose the grey and orange fitted shirt knowing today wasn’t just about supporting Lando.

“I tried to call Lando but he must be busy. Oh well, I’m sure we will be able to find him,” Maria said as she walked in the room with her phone in her hand. When she looked up she paused and she clenched her hands to her chest with a smile. “Ah, this takes me back.”

Maria was patient as you collected your belongings into your handbag but when you had nothing left to delay your departure she held her hand out. You accepted the strength she offered and let her pull you over the threshold and into the carpark. 

“Are you alright to drive?” she asked as you unlocked the suicide doors on Lando’s McLaren and opened the drivers side. 

“I think I need to,” you said with a nod as you slipped into the leather seats and pushed the start button. Having the steering wheel in your grip gave you a semblance of control of the situation, knowing you could turn around if you couldn’t go any further. “Thank you for coming today.”

“Of course, chérie, we are still family and you will always be a daughter to me. So next time you’re struggling, you call me okay?”

Your throat tightened with emotion as your question was finally answered. “Okay, maman.”

Maria’s hand rested on your shoulder as she kept you moving forward through the paddock, the warm touch enduring the bumps and knocks of the busy crowd moving about before the Formula 2 feature race began. Suddenly the bodies parted and you looked up after feeling a pat on your shoulder before her hand slipped away. 

Lando skidded to a halt a few feet in front of you and his face lit up as his lips parted in one of his rare full blown grins. 

You had kept your head down the entire walk to avoid all the phones and cameras that would have undoubtedly followed your entrance but now that you were seeing more than the concrete beneath your feet you noticed a sign a fan was holding up. ‘Racing is my oxygen.’

You could hear René’s voice, the confidence and surety it held whenever he finished the quote, ‘I need it to survive.’ It was then that you understood what Maria had spoken of earlier, so long as there was racing his memory would live on and his presence would be felt.

Tearing your eyes away from the sign, you returned the smile - something that had been difficult to do all week. “Hey,” you greeted as you stepped into his arms, “sorry I’m late.”

“You’re here, love,” he murmured into your hair like he couldn’t quite believe it before kissing the top of your head and pulling Maria into a side hug. “You made it too.”

“I’m offended at the surprise in your tone, mon chéri,” she tutted as she returned the hug and looked up at him. “You’ve grown again, and gotten skinny. Is she not feeding you enough?”

“I fed him too much apparently,” you defended yourself as you poked Lando’s hard abs. “Now he’s on a diet.”

“Good girl,” she grinned proudly as she rubbed your back and his. “I miss your visits, it's so quiet all the time at home now. You three were always laughing and getting into trouble when you came to Paris.”

“We’ll come and visit you soon, Mrs Gauthier, promise.”

“Please, chéri, it’s Maria or maman to you,” she said with a tap to his McLaren cap on his head. “I cooked and cleaned for you almost as much as René, I might’ve well have adopted you as my own.”

“We are lucky to have you, maman.” He kissed her cheek like he did his own mother before stepping back and taking your hand with a nod to the hospitality and garage area. “I need to get ready, coming?”

You nodded and reached into your pocket before handing over his car key but he hesitated to take it. “You can hang onto it, just in case,” he said as he pulled his hand back.

“No,” you said as you opened his hand and placed it in his palm. “I’m fine, really, Lan, I’m not going to hide again. This is where I want to be.”

365 days. It had been 365 days since Lando came back into your life and saved you from the lonely, broken existence you had isolated yourself to. It had taken 365 days but, standing there in Imola where your heart had been shattered into so many pieces you never thought you would never be whole again, you finally felt healed.

Racing is my oxygen, I need it to survive. René Gauthier, #29, 1997 - 2022

Click here for part nine.

Tagging: @yunnie-f1 @neiich @zendayabelova @stillbreathin @dr3lover @writerscurse @christianpulisic10 @alwaysclassyeagle @alexisquinnlee-bc @purplephantomwolf @lightsoutletsgo @pleasantducktimetravel @pierre-gasllllllyyyyyy @holy-macncheese-balls @belennasif @ophcelia @love4lando @ryiamarie

[sevenf1ng3rs]

His Burden: Chapter 12

Chapter 12: How did you do it?

Word Count: 2K

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader

Genres: Innocent!Reader, Troubled!Namjoon, Blossoming Relationship, Big Secret, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Humor.

Rating: 18+, Mature

Warnings: Mentions of SH, Thoughts of Suicide (minimal)

--------------------------

The Next Day

You wake up the next day with your makeup and clothes from last night still on, too drained to do anything but lay in bed.

You drag yourself out of bed, forcing yourself to shower. You stare in the mirror at your knotted hair and crumpled clothes, wiping at the mascara running down your face.

Me? His soulmate? Look at me. I'm such a sorry excuse for a person. There's no way someone like me is meant to be with someone like him.

You tear your eyes from the mirror, strip yourself of your clothes, and head into the shower. You let the water wash over you for several minutes, making no move to start cleaning yourself. You stare at the tiled wall blankly.

A curse. A curse that prevents him from having sex with anyone but me. Well, that's if I even am his soulmate. And soulmates? I didn't understand a word he was saying. He can't sleep when he's not near me? What is that supposed to mean?

And his ex. She's really dead. He killed her. Not on purpose, of course, but he still killed her. Will I be killed if I end up sleeping with him? What if he's wrong about us, and I end up dead in his bed the following day? This is all too much. I can't think about this anymore; I'll go insane.

You break out of your thoughts and reach for the shampoo, officially starting your shower. As you wash yourself, you can't tell if the water running down your face is from the shower or your tears.

---

You wake up a few hours later, still in your towel, atop your bed sheets.

Did I sleep through work? How could I do that? I swear I started getting ready; I don't remember lying down.

You grab your phone off your nightstand and open it to many missed calls from Maddie, your boss... and Namjoon. You ignore the latter and go straight to your thread with your best friend.

7:30: GIRL, where tf are you

7:32: I heard some fucked up shit happened last night. What was that about?

7:46: Babe... I'm worried about you. Call me back, please.

7:47: I covered for you at work, so don't worry.

8:12: I'm really, really worried. Please let me know if you're okay.

You sigh, feeling bad for making her worry. You text her back.

12:35: I'm so sorry, girl. I had a rough night yesterday and accidentally slept through work. I'll explain in detail later, but I'm okay for now. Thanks for checking on me.

You scroll through your threads and click on the one between you and your boss, apologizing to him and promising to be in tomorrow. The only person left is Namjoon.

I don't know if I can text him right now. It's still too fresh.

You put your phone down on your bed and get up, deciding to try and function.

The Same Morning - NAMJOONS POV

Namjoon has yet to sleep all night. He's been sitting at the edge of his childhood bed, switching back and forth between checking his phone and crying. Everywhere he looks, he sees a little bit of you, you lying in his bed, up against the wall, and the worst, standing in the middle of the room, backing away from him. He regrets last night immensely, replaying the events in his mind over and over again, criticizing himself for every move.

"Fuck!" He stands up abruptly and kicks his dresser, causing all the items on top of it to fall to the ground, shattering his lamp and sprawling his books across the floor. He walks over to his nightstand, picks up the framed photo of him and his brothers, throwing it across the room, watching the glass shattering against the wall, chunks sliding across the floor towards his feet.

He picks a piece up, turning it back and forth before his eyes, inspecting the sharp sides.

It would be so easy...

A knock sounds on the door, and he tosses the piece back onto the floor.

"Namjoon, what's going on in there, man," the sound of Jin's voice from behind the door.

"Can I please come in? I'm worried about you, bro," Jin asks softly.

When Namjoon doesn't answer, he pushes the door open and walks inside, eyeing the damage caused to the room.

"Dude..." Jin starts, unable to finish the sentence. He looks over to see Namjoon standing in the middle of the room, head trained to the floor. He grabs his hand and leads him to the bed, sitting him down carefully. Jin exits the room for a few moments, coming back in with a garbage bag and cleaning supplies, carefully starting to clean the room. He picks up all of the glass and puts the frameless photo of himself with his brothers back on the nightstand. He put all of the books back in their rightful place and cautiously placed the remains of the lamp into the bag, sweeping the room up, putting everything into the trash, and placing it near the door.

"Okay, let's talk," Jin finally sits down next to Namjoon, who has only sat where he's been placed and watched his brother clean up his mess.

"She ran away from me," Namjoon says, voice barely above a whisper.

Jin sits in silence, giving Namjoon time to continue.

"This fucking curse. I've had enough of it. I'm so tired, and I want to be with the person I love without worrying that I'll kill her if we get too close. She thinks I'm a fucking monster now. I mean shit, she's fucking right." Namjoon laughs, despite himself. They both sit through a few beats of silence before he continues.

"How did you do it?" he turns to look at Jin, revealing the tears in his eyes. "How did you know Jungkook was the one? How did you know you could have sex with him without consequence?"

Jin stays silent for a few moments, contemplating how to properly word his response in a way that wouldn't further hurt Namjoon.

"I just knew. I can't properly explain the feeling, but my whole world lights up when I'm with him. He practically is my sun," he chuckles, "the entirety of me depends on him. When I first told him, we had a situation similar to yours. We were apart for a few days, and I couldn't eat or sleep, knowing he wouldn't be mine at the end of the day. We had our fights and such since then, but we always came back to each other. That's one good thing about this curse if they're your soulmate, they'll always come back to you," he finishes the story, placing a comforting hand on Namjoons back before exiting the room, giving him space to think.

---

Since his talk with Jin, Namjoon decided to go to the coffee shop daily. He sat in the coffee shop for a week, sitting at the table near the door and watching it. Every time the chime rings, he snaps his gaze to it, praying that you will walk through the door this time. It never is. Day after day, he waited, but you have yet to show.

One day, Namjoon decided not to go back to the shop. He realized that it was truly over. You had moved on from him, not wanting to bear his stupid burden. As much as he didn't accept this fate and prayed that you would show up at his door, hugging him and telling him that it was all okay, it wasn't his choice. He spent the next three days hitting the gym and working as much as he could, barely leaving the building, only taking a break to drink water occasionally. The pain of the workouts helped him forget. In the back of his mind, he thought that maybe if he bettered himself, you would return to him.

The fourth day after not going to the coffee shop, he realized he couldn't stay in the place where this all began. The buildings reminded him of you, the sidewalks, the trees, and everything around him. He needed to get out of the city, a fresh start. Someplace new and exciting to forget the pain associated with this city. However, he knew he needed to see you one last time before leaving for good for selfish reasons.

A Few Days Prior - Your POV

Maddie came over to your house today. But all the days seem to blend. Thankfully, Maddie's been covering for you at work, saying you have mono. You only remember her telling you, "Guys come and go. You'll be over him soon enough". However, that doesn't seem to be the case. You can't stop thinking about him all day and night for a while now. Could he be right? You think to yourself.

No, too much thinking for tonight. I need to go to sleep.

—

RING RING

Your phone starts buzzing, waking you up from your light sleep.

What the fuck? I'm trying to sleep. It's like 2 am.

You roll over and reach your hand across your bed, trying to stay in your position while grabbing your phone. When you turn the screen on, there's a text from Maddie.

Maddie: Call me right now

You call Maddie and say, "What's up? I'm trying to sleep," voice still foggy from recently waking up.

Maddie tearfully replies, "It's Namjoon...he's in the hospital...he tried to-"

You hang up the phone and drop it away as if it was suddenly burning hot. You're unable to speak or move, frozen in shock.

This is all my fault.

You cry hard, dropping your head into your hands and bringing your knees to your chest, the hurt radiating over your body. When you come up for air, breathless from crying, you realize you're sitting in a bathtub full of your own tears. You sit up in the water and look around, confused. Looking to your left, you see someone else in the room with you. It's Namjoon sitting in his own tub, but the sides are overflowing with his blood.

You start to scream before being cut off abruptly.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

You wake up with a gasp, sitting up in fear, drenched in sweat, to the sound of your alarm; it seems to have been going off for a while now.

Holy shit, what the fuck was that nightmare. A sign. Is something going to happen?

You remember when Maddie told you Namjoon would come into the shop, waiting for you. She claimed it was every day for an entire week. You also remember her telling you that he had stopped coming altogether, that she hadn't seen him in days. Your mind starts racing, worrying about the unthinkable.

He wouldn't...

—

You finally go back to work, deciding that being able to pay rent is more important than sitting in bed and thinking about Namjoon. You make sure to act slightly sick around your boss to make it more believable, but it's just you and Maddie today, so you stop with the charade for now.

"I thought I had my shift with Ben today?" you say to Maddie, wondering why she had joined you so early in the morning.

"No, he asked me to cover for him. I haven't seen him since the party," she responds, looking up as if she's only just now noticed his absence.

Weird. I wonder if he's sick.

You turn around to make a few customers coffee, being backed up on orders slightly, when Maddie taps you furiously on the shoulder, forcing you to turn around.

"Hey, is that-" Maddie starts,

You look in the direction her eyes are glued to and see a pair of piercing eyes you've grown to love staring back at you. You haven't seen them in so long; you forgot how intense they were when you looked into them. Now, they were all you could see. The world around you slowed down, and voices faded until all left were his eyes and your heartbeat in your ears. You felt relief, fear, and happiness all at the same time. Unsure of what to do with yourself, you stand frozen, soaking in the person who those eyes belonged to.

"Namjoon."

[gorewh0re90x-blog]

diary entries...

TW: substances, ed, TMI situations

1/7/2024

6pm

im so tired. i havent been this tired since i quit doing dope 7 months ago. i still miss her almost everyday. my one true love. she was with me through everything the last 12 years. our relationship was toxic as hell but she will always be the one who got away. even if (when) i relapse and run back to her it will always end. it might end in death or just another rehab but it will always end. thats the thing with her, no matter how many times i run back i always have to leave, even if its for a little bit. theres no way around it. i start doing good in life and i run back to her warm and beautiful arms. the beginning is always the best, the honeymoon phase, but it doesnt last longer than 6 months. she always asks for more and more. more time, more money, more attention, more destruction. we lay in bed all day and all night as she whispers sweetly in my ear 'you dont need any of this..not this job, not this money, not your friends, not your family, not the outside world..you only need me..' and i always agree because its true, i only need her to be ok with being alive. no matter how many times we go through the same notions, i always listen to her..how can i not? when im with her nothing else matters, nothing means a thing. she makes me feel so safe, so warm, so invincible, so beautiful, so amazing.. its only her, always and forever.. until she takes everything away from me, as she always does, and drags me to rock bottom where the only choice i have left, is to leave her again..

9pm

idk whats wrong with me the last few days. im so tired and feeling like crap. it cant be not enough sleep because im sleeping. it cant be not enough food because im eating. im tired, my stomach hurts, im cold until I get in bed and under the covers and then im hot. my head hurts. my body aches, although that could be just me trying to work out too much. it feels like im constipated but im still going a little everyday. consistency of soft serve ice cream, which is super foreign to me. ive been constipated for the last 12 years, going once a week, if i was lucky, and when i did go it was like pushing out baseballs made out of rocks. this whole thing is just strange and exhausting. i just feel like I have the flu. i took dulcolax, my savior, an hour and a half ago and im hoping it clears out everything i ate the last 4 days and not just little swirls of crap that take 10mins of wiping to clean up. gross, i know. i just want to sleep but i don't want to wake up at midnight and be wide awake til i get back from the clinic at 6:30am. maybe ill be able to sleep for the next 6 hours and then just work out some until its time to head to the clinic at 5:30. i took an hour nap earlier around 5pm and had a weird dream.. it had to do with 2 guys breaking in and trying to shoot us unsuccessfully and ended up with me stabbing one and the other getting shot. hopefully its not some premission.. im gonna try to nap.

1/8/2024

12:05am

i decided to let myself get an oreo mcflurry every sunday since ive been doing so well with my diet and exercise. i figured that since i burn more than the 510cal thats in the dam thing every day anyway, i can be a fat fucking pig and have one. theyre just so dam good 😩 cutting out all sugar has been a nightmare over the last month. ive spent the whole time i was an h addict living on sugar so its been rough. it will be totally worth it though. i should reach my current goal weight of 100lbs in the next 10 months or less as long as i keep doing what ive been doing. i cant wait to be thin and beautiful. i dont need drugs as long as im thin 🖤

1/9/2024

1am

i ate that slice of cheese pizza i said i wouldnt touch..378cals. 378!! im such a fat pig. disgusting. it doesnt matter that i burned twice as much in calories today. the only thing that matters is that i didn't have enough self control to not eat that dam slice of pizza. i hate that my husband eats the foods i cant have every freaking day. i know me needing to lose weight is not his problem but it still sucks to be put in these situations everyday. if its not pizza its cookies and sweets and danishes and everything else I cant eat. fuck this sucks so bad! starting tomorrow i need to burn more than 700-900cals each day. i need to walk more than 10-13k steps. i need to eat less than 1400cal each day. idc if im technically still losing weight. its not enough. i need to do better and damnit i will do better.

11pm

i ate less but didnt get to work out as much as i wanted to. i guess tomorrow will be better. it better be at least. i need to get to sleep before 3am tonight so i dont sleep til 5pm tomorrow.. i have to be up at 530am to go to the clinic 5 times a week and by 11am im so exhausted i need a freaking nap or im falling over on my feet. i think they need to lower the dose on my medicine. this is getting super annoying. i just wanna be thin already. fml.

1/11/2024

12:36am

today was good. i walked over 13k steps, worked out for an hour, burned about 1000cals and only ate about 800cals. definitely getting a hang of this. didnt have a headache either. got a decent amount of sleep too. im definitely gonna ask my clinic to lower the dose on my medication because im sure thats why im tired all the time. im super sore from the gym the other day but tomorrow i have to go either way. hopefully it wont be too crowded because i get really bad anxiety and paranoia around strangers. i hate going outside. goodnight my lovelies, i hope youre all staying on track and getting closer to your ugw 🖤🚬🦋

1/13/2024

5:16am

i had a good day yesterday but not a great night. i burned around 1200cals and had a 90min work out plus 15k steps. less food as well. ordered some stuff off amazon ive been wanting since beginning of december so i was super happy until my husband decided to drink and be..not great. he hasnt been drinking since we moved states 7 months ago except 1 or 2 previous occasions because he gets wasted and acts a fool. he was doing good until he wasnt. it just wasnt a good experience but hes finally asleep. im exhausted from not getting more than 3 hours of sleep the previous night and having to deep clean the whole house and do my workout and now being up all night. i want to go to sleep but i have a few things to worry about due to his drinking so its not looking so good right now.. i fed the stray cats i take care of just now and im gonna lay down and listen to some creepypastas and hope for sleep to come. hope everyone is doing well 🖤🚬🦋

[https-harlow]

Taking Care Of You

Summary- All Jack wants to do while you're pregnant with your first daughter, Paisley, is take care of you even if it's something small like putting lotion on your belly. You and Jack also start to celebrate Jack's birthday with your tradition of giving each other gifts at midnight, though this time it is a matching gift. Jack can't sleep and ends up talking to Paisley while you're asleep.

Word Count- 2k

A/N- This is from a request of Jack rubbing lotion on the readers belly or talking to her bump while she's pregnant with Paisley, but I decided to add on to it just a little bit, I hope you like it!

Something you started doing as soon as your bump started to show when you were pregnant with Paisley was putting lotion on your stomach. Jack didn’t notice at first, it took him about 3 weeks to notice, you usually did it when you got out of the shower, but that day you forgot so you did it while you were getting ready for bed. 

You were standing in front of the bathroom counter, your shirt, well Jack’s shirt, lifted over your small bump, rubbing the lotion onto your bump when Jack walked into the bathroom, wrapping his arms around you, making you jump since you didn’t hear him walk in.

“Fuck you scared me.” You laughed softly. 

“Sorry baby.” Jack apologized, kissing your shoulder softly. “In my defense there is a giant mirror in front of you.” He teased, looking at you in the mirror, you leaned into his chest slightly, relaxing into his arms. The shirt falling back down once you removed your hands from your belly was too small to rest the shirt on, but if you looked close enough you could see it, wiping the left-over lotion from your hands before resting them on top of Jacks hands. Jack moved his hands to rest gently on your bump. 

“What are you doing?” Jack asked you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Putting lotion on my belly, I don’t know, I saw its supposed to help with stretch marks and itchiness. We’ll see if it works in 5 months.” You explained to Jack who nodded.

“Do you need help?” Jack asked and you shook your head. Ever since you found out you were pregnant, Jack was constantly asking if you needed anything. It didn’t matter how small or big it was. You needed something from the other room? Jack would get it for you. You wanted some random food you were craving at 4am? Jack would go get it with no complaints, well, at least not to you, when Urban would ask him the next day why he was so tired, then he would complain a little bit, but he still didn’t mind doing it.

“No, I just finished, but thank you for offering.” You told him, turning around in his arms, leaning against the counter, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck. 

“Do you do this every day?” Jack asked you and you nodded.

“I try to.” You said, Jack kissed your forehead gently.

“Can I help you tomorrow then?” Jack asked you and you nodded.

“You know you don’t have to help me with everything, but yes, you can.” You smiled softly, gently running your fingers through his hair.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” Jack reassured you.

Every night for the next 4 months Jack made sure that either one of you had put lotion on your bump. More often than not it was Jack though. Even the night you two had gotten into an argument and Jack left the apartment for a couple hours, he had texted you around the time you normally got ready for bed to remind you.

You were currently 8 months pregnant, lying in bed next to Jack, you were trying to sleep but Paisley wouldn’t stop moving around. You groaned softly, moving to try to get more comfortable.

“You okay?” Jack asked you, opening his eyes to look at you. You nodded but sighed.

“Yeah, she just won’t stop kicking.” You said, Jack laughing softly, moving his hand to where he could feel her kicking.

“It’s still crazy to me that we’re actually going to have a baby, and soon she’ll be with us and not in your belly anymore.” Jack said, gently rubbing circles with his hand to try to calm her, but it didn’t work.

“I know. One more month, it seems like it’s going to take forever, but it’s only a couple more weeks.” You said, looking over at the clock on the nightstand, seeing it was after midnight.

“Happy birthday Jack.” You smiled softly, leaning over to kiss him gently. 

“Thank you, baby.” Jack smiled back at you, kissing you back.

“I have some gifts for you.” You told him, gently playing with his hair. “I can give them to you know if you want, since it is after midnight.” Both of you had started a tradition where on your birthday’s you would stay up and give each other your gifts at midnight, but this year Jack insisted you go to sleep, he could tell you were practically falling asleep, but now that you were in bed you couldn’t sleep. While you normally would have been angry about it, tonight you didn’t mind because it meant you could keep up your tradition. 

As you started to sit up to go get the gifts you had for Jack, he shook his head.

“No, it’s okay, you can give them to me tomorrow. I want you to sleep. Plus, I already told you that you didn’t have to get me anything. You’re doing enough already.” Jack reminded you, he knew that your pregnancy hadn’t been the easiest, and he didn’t want you to stress yourself out over something like getting him something for his birthday.

“I know you’ve said that Paisley is a good enough present, but she won’t be here for another month, so I wanted to get you a couple things anyways. Can I at least give you one of them? It’s half for her so you can’t say no.” You said and both of you laughed softly before Jack nodded.

“Only because it’s half for her.” Jack said, moving his hand from your bump. “Do you need help up?” Jack asked and you shook your head, but Jack rested his hand on your back anyway, just in case.

You walked into your closet, grabbing 2 boxes, one bigger than the other, walking back to the bed and putting them down in front of Jack who had sat up when you got out of bed. 

“Okay, open the bigger one first, then the smaller one, then I’ll explain.” You said, sitting back down on your side of the bed, Jack nodded. When Jack opened the first box, he found a pair of shoes that he had mentioned he wanted a couple weeks ago.

“I’m surprised you remembered, you were half asleep when I mentioned these.” Jack teased you. “But thank you baby.” Jack leaned over to kiss you softly.

“I double checked with Urban they were the right ones.” You admitted, laughing softly. “I’m glad you like them.” You kissed him once more.

“You were half asleep, Urban was high, impressive either way.” Jack joked, making you laugh again. Jack opened the smaller box, finding the same shoes in a smaller size for Paisley. 

“You got us matching shoes?” Jack asked, smiling at you, you nodded.

“Yeah, I was thinking a little while ago about how I would have told you I was pregnant if you weren’t there when I took the test, and I thought about getting baby shoes, and I thought of the idea to get you two matching shoes.” You explained. “I have a couple of more things for you too, but I’ll give you those tomorrow.”

“Baby, that’s so sweet.” Jack told you. “Thank you.” Jack said, kissing you again, pushing your hair out of your face once he pulled away. “There so small.” Jack said, laughing softly. Gently holding one of the shoes up to your bump, making you smile at him, running your fingers through his hair. Jack noticed you let out a small yawn. “Tired?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah.” You yawned again. “Are you?” You asked him and he nodded also.

“Yeah, let’s go to sleep then baby.” Jack said, moving the boxes off of the bed. “Did you put lotion on?” Jack asked, knowing that sometimes you forgot. 

“No.” You sighed. “I probably should.” You said as you started to sit up before Jack could stop you.

“I’ll get it for you baby. Just get comfortable, okay?” Jack told you, knowing that it usually took you a little bit to get comfortable. You nodded, while you would normally say it was okay and that you could do it, you gave in. You were tired and you knew Jack would end up getting it for you anyways, so you didn’t bother to fight it. Jack walked back into the bedroom a few minutes later.

“Thank you, baby.” You smiled softly.

“Do you need anything else?” Jack asked you, and you shook your head. 

“Nope. Just cuddles.” Jack nodded, laying down in bed next to you.

“I can do that, after I put the lotion on.” He smiled. “Has she calmed down?” He asked and you nodded.

“A little bit yeah.” 

You and Jack continued to make small talk while he rubbed the lotion on to your bump. Jack noticed your responses getting shorter and quieter until eventually he looked up to see you had fallen asleep. Jack smiled softly as he felt Paisley kick in your stomach.

“Hey, you better not wake your mom up.” Jack said as he laughed softly, making sure to whisper so he didn’t wake you up. Jack kept his hand on your bump, and tried to fall asleep, but he couldn’t. 

Something Jack got into the habit of doing when he couldn’t sleep was talking to Paisley. He wasn’t sure when he started it, but it was one of his favorite things to do. 

“You know, I can’t believe you’re going to be here in a month.” Jack said rubbing your belly softly. “I can’t wait for you to be here, but I’m terrified at the same time.” Jack admitted. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know everything’s going to be okay and we’ll figure it out because you have an amazing mom. There isn’t anyone else I’d rather be having you with. I love her so much. I can’t wait to ask her to marry me one day.” Jack said, looking up to make sure you were still asleep before looking back down at his hand on your bump.

“I started to look at rings the other day. I don’t know when I’m going to ask her to marry me, but I know I want to. I’ve wanted to for a while.” Jack admitted before sitting in silence for a few minutes.

“It’s crazy to think that next year you’ll be here and celebrating my birthday with me, I’ll be able to hold you instead of waiting for you to be here. I can talk to you, and maybe you’ll even be talking by then, who knows. I’m not even going to let myself think about your 1st birthday yet.” Jack looked up again, making sure he wasn’t waking you up.

“I just want to be the best dad I can be. You have so many people that love you already and that can’t wait for you to be here. Just between us, I think Urban might be one of the most excited people to meet you. He loves your mom just like I do, well, not quite as much, but he does care as much as I do. You know, he’s the reason your mom and I met. He reminds me all the time, even before we knew about you.” Jack said laughing softly. 

“Everything I’ve done for the last several months and everything that I do for the rest of my life will be for you. Well, you and your mom. I promised when I asked her to move to Atlanta with me that I wouldn’t let her down, and she told me that I never would. I just want to do everything I promised.” Jack said, sitting quietly for another minute before he felt you move a little bit, looking up, seeing you still asleep, Jack smiled softly, laying back down next to you, kissing your forehead as he did.

“I love you so much.” Jack whispered before closing his eyes and falling asleep next to you. His hand still gently resting on your belly as you cuddled into his side.

[iambilliejeanok]

What it’s like to sleep with Naruto Characters—Uchiha edition.

Warnings: 18+ , Very fluffy, SFW/NSFW, somno.

Madara

(Image)

Sfw

Madara is in deep denial but he’s very clingy

Searches for you in the bed even when he’s fully asleep and will tackle you when he does find you. (Totally unaware of what he’s doing). You’re usually trapped when he cuddles you so the minute his grip gets loose is your only chance to catch a bathroom break or stretch or something.

He literally radiates heat so he’s your personal blanket and his feet are always warm which is perfect for you if you tend to get cold feet during the night. He also doesn’t mind you rubbing your fish stick ass feet all over him for warmth in the night.

He talks in his sleep too and usually confesses to the most strangest things like you once heard him say “sorry baby I ate your cake in the fridge” before he wrapped his arms around you and was quiet again. You’re going to confront him about it in the morning.

Holds you so tight which makes it easier for you to sleep and it really helps with his anxiety. I headcanon Madara acts all easy on the outside but deep down he’s such a little ball of worries and that stays between the two of you during moments like this.

He’s usually quite when he sleeps except for the random confessions every now and then but overall he’s pretty nice to sleep with. You’ll get that full 8 hours in with him. Unless👀😈…..

10/10 he is a very warm and cuddly.

Nsfw

Madara thinks he isokay and doesn’t need to fuck until you come out the shower and walk into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around your body, reaching just below your ass. You also smell divine so how could he possibly resist?

He’s made a habit of walking in on you while you’re using the bathroom and sometimes you’re already done and just doing your skin care routine in the mirror. Every time you lean closer to look at your face in the mirror he gets a very beautiful view of your puss from behind and loses it. He’s on his knees behind you and before you realize it, his warm strong tongue is already running between your folds, spreading them apart so he can taste you. Now all you have to do is hold onto the counter for dear life while Madara slowly devours you and you’re not only cumming once. You’ve never ever came just one time with him so by the time he’s done with you here you’re already a shaky mess and need to get cleaned up again. Loves it when he’s overstimulating you and your juices just drip down onto his face and shoulders.

You’re practically sitting on his face when he eats you out so you really have no choice but to take it for him and you can’t try to get away or you might stumble and fall.

Once he’s successfully brought you to a little ball of whimpers and tears, he picks you up and takes you into the bedroom where he’ll make love to you so good and leave you feeling more than satisfied. Although it can get extremely intense sometimes, these gentle sessions happen more when you’re both working so he doesn’t wear you out.

He’s naturally very aggressive during sex and if he isn’t satisfied with the session he’ll keep going until he’s spent. Which usually means more orgasms for you. By the time he’s done with you, you’re out. He’s out. You’re both out and he’s holding onto you like his life depends on this.

Madara makes love to you more often that he fucks the life out of you, but you’re always a wreck whether he’s gentle or rough. He also takes care of you afterwards and you tend to fall asleep while he’s still wiping you clean. He will let you rest now but he will wake you up later on in the night to remind you to drink water so you don’t wake up light headed and dehydrated. You did squirt a ton so you’ve got to make up for it.

Itachi

Image from IG: @itachiuuchiha

Sfw

He actually loves to sleep. He sleeps any chance he gets and will always sneak in your nap times and snuggle with you until he falls asleep too. His absolute most favourite thing to do with you is sleep. To him it’s so much fun and as nonchalant as he is on the outside, inside he’s pissing his pants thinking about spending time with you…and sleeping.

Even if it’s for ten minutes he’s going to join your nap and fall asleep and wake up. He’s not the best at giving you space. He actually has no space boundaries so he’s always up your ass all the time. Even if you get up to go use the restroom, he’s dragging behind you like a puppy, hugging you from the back until your on the toilet and after that he’s picking you up back to bed and wrapping the two of you up in a burrito. That way neither of you can escape the sleep time burrito.

Loves to randomly make out in the middle of the night which kind of disturbs your sleep but he says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about every time you bring it up.

Is a light snorer too but it’s not so loud that you can’t sleep, but sometimes when he holds you close and whispers “I love you” in your ear he’ll fall asleep like that and then start snoring right in your fucking ear.

If he turns around you’re obligated to be the bigger spoon and if you don’t hold him he’s going to switch sides with you so you have no excuses but to hold him.

He can be a little needy but you do get a good nights rest with him.

10/10, although the snoring in your ear needs to stop.

Nsfw

You and Itachi don’t have sex all the time and he usually initiates it when he’s in the mood but, you two have your days or nights when you just can’t keep off of each other.

He’s a very gentle lover but he’s still very dominant and can be mean when he wants.

He loves to cockwarm when you two are under the covers and cozy. He’ll fall asleep inside of you and then wake up and suddenly start slowly stroking his hips into you while you’re still asleep.

When you actually wake up to being stimulated, you make these sweet soft mewls that make his heart melt. He’ll make love to you like this, softly kissing and sucking your skin while his middle finger is rubbing your clit in hard circles and you two will usually come together.

After sex it’s always a make out session and cuddles with Itachi.

Every morning starts off with some love making.

Lazy kisses turn into heated make out sessions which quickly leads to his face being buried between your legs. Makes you cum so good with his tongue and fingers, usually three times or so before he sinks himself into you. When his inside of you he really just wants to chase his own orgasm so he’ll be a little mean if you complain about it being “too much”, because to him he’s not even being rough and you know things can get very rough with him.

He really wishes you’d last longer than three orgasms without having to put up a fight with you, but there’s no denying that you try your best for him.

After he just wants to cuddle.

Sasuke

Sfw

Sometimes you feel like Sasuke uses your body as a form of therapy. The way he handles you, scooping you onto his shoulders in the middle of your folding laundry, only to carry you to the couch and wrap his arms around you. Now don’t say a word, just let him inhale you and feel your body against his. And he won’t ever ask for it, but he really needs head pats in order for your sleep magic to work on him. Now that he has you in his arms, the minute your hands run through his hair he is out. Then you can try to sneak away and continue about your day.

He’s a weirdo.

He also literally will not sleep if you’re not there with him. When he knows your unavailable for example when he’s on a mission, he can try to bring himself to sleep by thinking of you. But if you’re around and just not with him he really won’t sleep until you come into bed and hold him. Will lay in bed and whine and complain about you not laying beside him until you finally lay beside him. “Took you forever”, he grumbles, snuggling into your tummy so you can start running your fingers through his hair.

He’s a really big little spoon, so you tend to do most of the holding, but he’s a pretty hard sleeper so when he’s out he’s out cold and sometimes you feel like you’re holding a rock with how still he is. You always check to see if his breathing because why is not moving?

Only time he wakes up in the middle of the night is if he needs to use the bathroom. Will 200% wake you up too. You’ve told him before that he really doesn’t have to wake you up just because he needs to go and apparently “you need to use the bathroom too” and when he wakes you up it’s because he’s being “considerate” and thinking that you might need to use it too… when in reality he’s just way too clingy for his own good and is in serious denial about it.

He’s Sasuke for fuck sakes. The last Uchiha. Stop accusing him of being clingy.

You don’t hold him throughout the night though because he doesn’t feel it when you let go of him, so you can stretch out and find a nice cool spot on the bed to lay on. Yes he’s going to gravitate towards you as the night goes on, but you like to enjoy your space while you can.

Overall I’d rate him a 8/10 because you really wish he’d wake up and give you kisses and cuddles randomly in the night but he just sleeps too damn hard. You still get a full 8hours though.

Nsfw

If he’s not exhausted after a long day he will destroy you, so you’re thankful for his busy days and usually after bath/ shower time you’re already on him, running your hands down his torso and getting him all worked up, kissing, biting, and your hand buried inside his pajama pants.

You love giving him head, watching him crumble under your touch. You want him to relax so you try your hardest to make sure he cums hard enough to pass out but that seldom happens.

As soon as you’re done with him though it’s his turn to please you and he won’t listen when you tell him you’re fine and just argue: “I want you to get some rest tonight. I also don’t want to argue so please sit back or I will make you”.

And you usually listen and lay back to let him eat the soul out of you. He’s a big fan of fingering you and will make you cum a few times like this just because it’s fun. He’s still going to wreck you with his dick and he doesn’t know how to be gentle so you’re usually a mess by the time he’s done with you and after surviving his slow and hard thrusts, constantly stimulating all your sensitive spots, you want nothing more than to cuddle up and sleep.

Now he knows you’re not going to try and sneak out the bed while he’s sleeping to try and finish work.

You’ve never met anyone who doesn’t care like Sasuke. Mans doesn’t even keep track of how many times his baby cums. You’re just struggling and he just laughs. “Yes baby this is too much for you huh?”, he’ll tease, completely not phased by your tears and violent shaking.

“P-pleaaasse”, you babble, your cheek wet with tears in the palm of his hand, your hands planted on his back, your legs squeezing on his waist to try and slow him down. “Try your best for me. You can take much more than this”, he says as he brings you to yet another violent orgasm.

Shisui

Sfw

Here’s someone who loves pillow talk with his whole life. You’ll be fighting for your life trying to stay awake, conversing with him after a really satisfying session of sex.

Loves being the big spoon and usually holds you throughout the night. You two like to be close to each other while you sleep, and he likes snuggling into your neck when he’s sleeping.

Will hold you tighter if he wakes up to you stirring at night. He will try and understand what it is that you’re trying to do before holding you tight again. “Sleep y/n”, he’ll mumble if he feels you moving a little too much. A few kisses and cuddles helps get you back into a deep sleep.

He uses the restroom a million times at night so there’s always that slight disturbance in the night but it’s nothing you can’t tolerate. You cannot control when you need to pee at the end of the day. And he will try not to wake you up when he needs to go.

He lives for those cute little sleepy snuggles in the middle of the night. His body is just so soft and comfortable and he smells very good so he’s really great to sleep with.

He’s also warm (he’s an Uchiha at the end of the day) so he’s your personal blanket too. And he instantly warms you up when you’re cold. Yes the heat is on but he also very politely requested you wear less clothing in the night and you’re very sensitive to the cold so you’re glad he’s as warm as he is so you get good cuddles and a good nights rest.

10/10 because he’s literally perfect.

Nsfw

Normal people have sex before bed but not Shisui. No.

He likes to wait until you’ve both been asleep for a few hours.

He always wakes up with an erection from hell and he’s not going to suffer in silence.

He loves trying please you while you’re still asleep to see how far he can take things before you wake up.

He’s made you cum in your sleep one time and is convinced he can do it again.

Will go down on you , softly sucking on your clitoris and gently stroking your vulva with two fingers. He had this technique that is guaranteed to make you nut and it ends with him sinking his fingers inside of you. That’s when you cum hard and you usually wake up maybe three or four minutes before that.

Waking up to an orgasm is actually very intense so it takes a lot of hushing from him to keep you quiet. He really likes it when you softly moan for him and tends to get a little frustrated when you start screaming. How can you not scream when his fingers are aggressively massaging your g spot and his mouth is vacuuming what’s left of your soul away.

Usually when you’re both making love at this hour of the night he’ll just let you cum as much as you need to while he slowly fucks you laying on your tummy with a pillow or two under your pelvis.

If it gets too intense and you can’t help but scream he’ll flip you over and hold your hands in his, whispering sweet praises in your ear while his hips are still working, thrusting into you very slowly, getting as deep as he possibly can, a scream muffled by his kiss confirming that he can’t go further in, before rolling his hips in slow circles until you can’t handle it anymore and the sounds you make tell him to pull back. When he does this you end up violently coming on his thick cock, pushing him out of you and squirting everywhere.

He’s just gonna wait for you to finish before sinking himself back in and will tease you with words like “if you scream like that again I’m going to pick up the pace baby…do you want that?” And you’ll just cry underneath him, trying your best to stay quiet for him and dismally failing at that.

He picks up the pace and starts relentlessly fucking you.

You’re going to have such a hard time getting out of bed the next morning and he’s going to eat you out before you wake up again. Very selfish this man.

Obito

Image from IG: obito

Sfw

Likes to sleep on his back, with his arms and legs sprawled out but that’s fine because you usually just lie on top of him.

Sometimes you both like to just lay next to each other like starfish.

He’s not very clingy but he does like cuddling. Usually spends time cuddling you to sleep and then when he’s sleeping he’ll move around for a more comfortable position. You’re always welcome to hold him while he’s sleeping or lay on him but he can’t guarantee that he’ll cuddle you all night.

If he wakes up to you stirring that’s when he will hold you and snuggle with you for a little, rubbing his cheek against yours and his hand running up and down your back, his lips planting lazy kisses on your skin before he hears your steady breathing and sees you laying still. He’ll naturally fall asleep as soon as you’re asleep.

Is also very warm but doesn’t like it when your cold feet touch his. He’ll just wrap them up in the covers for you or try to ignore it if they accidentally graze him but please your feet are too cold and you need to do something about it. He’s been reminding you to wear socks to bed though so it’s less uncomfortable for him and it’s been working out well.

You two sleep pretty well together though.

Nsfw

Here’s another selfish lover. He loves a good session or two before bed and then another in the morning. It’s a requirement.

Loves to take a bath with you since you both get off of work at roughly the same time so he stays fucking you in the tub every single night.

After the tub he’s probably going to eat you out on the nearest surface and make a mess of you in the bathroom. After that it’s bed session time and he’s going to hold your hips in place while you’re cumming. No matter how violent your orgasm is he’s going to stay buried deep inside of you and you’re going to take him growling in your ear, fucking you hard through your squirting.

He knows you’ll sleep well tonight so he’s going to wear you out.

He usually won’t try anything in the middle of the night because he really values sleep but will pounce on you first thing in the morning. If you’re too sore he’ll settle with just eating you out, because he really just wants to have you in any way that he can.

You tend to give him the most mind blowing orgasms in the morning with your elite head game and he wants to sleep with you in his arms for another hour before you both have to get up and get ready for work. You score more sleep with him because he can just use Kamui to teleport you to work later.

He’s really cute after sex so no matter how rough you know it will get you still let him hit because you’re literally in love with him.

[sxdmoonchxld]

Operation: Pop The Cherry | JJK

Jungkook x Virgin!Reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: rough bathroom sex, college au, unprotected sex, teasing, fingering, Jungkook has a virgin kink if you couldn’t tell by he title, lowkey sadistic JK, Gay BFF Jimin, mentions of alcohol and weed, brief mention of homophobia. bIG diCK Jungkook, more belly bulging, and I forgot what else

Word Count: 6.1k

Summary: Against you better judgement and thank to your best friend Jimin. You somehow agreed to let a stranger on campus known as the Cherry Popper, too well..pop your cherry.

Alternatively: You're a virgin. Jungkook has a fetish/kink for fucking virgins.

A/N: I guess i’ll keep putting this note until i stop reposting my old stories. I use to be lizardsocial, and this fic was previously called Game. You may still be able to find it somewhere on tumblr. I edited this fic heavily and it’s honestly a new story, but there are still some elements from the fic it used to be still in there. Unedited so please let me know of any mistakes or typos. Like, comment, reblog, let me know what you think. Enjoy!

_________________________________________

Bass boosted pop music seeped through the dense walls of the energetic room. Strobing bright colored beams danced to the rhythm of the music in mesmerizing synchrony. The musty odor of marijuana, booze, and sex-saturated air shrouded the room in a turbid veil, covering the sea of drunken undulating bodies packed in the cramped living room.  Empty beer cans and other various booze bottles mixed with burnt-out blunts accompanied the young adults. You groaned with irritation and disgust. You didn't want to be here, but to your chagrin, you had a promise to keep.

It wasn't a secret that the college nightlife was unquestionably not your type of 'scene.' You quite frequently elected to willingly engage most of your time in your freshman dorm, wrapped in your weighted burrito blanket. A nightstand stockpiled with all your favorite snacks, lights dimmed low, and lavender incense burning, filling your room with the aroma of relaxation. The perfect setting to binge-watch your favorite show for the umpteenth time, the shifting distorted brightness of your computer screen, projecting the scenes against your face. 

It's kind of funny how you got yourself into this mess in the first place. The one time you decide to take the chance and branch away from the alternate antisocial hermit, your personality had adopted as its own had come back to bite you in the ass. You admit, lately, you've been neglecting your best friend. Your reasonings generally varying from the classic 'oh I was sleep' to deliberately silencing your phone, not wanting to hear the constant shrill ringing of the default ringtone. You loved Jimin, you truly did, but you could only take so much of his eccentric mashup of bubblegum and rainbow sparkles that was his personality. Eventually, guilt began eating away at you piece by piece until you ultimately caved in and invited your friend over for an impromptu movie night in your dorm room. 

Not even 30 minutes into the movie, one that you had been dying to see, might you add, Jimin commenced his drunk and high chattering. He had already started 'pre-gaming' before he came over; Six shots of straight Vodka and 2 blunts. Every day you prayed for this man's liver and brain function; with how much he drank and smoke, you would think he needed it to function. 

"Oh! Oh! Bitttch. Did I tell you about that football player, I fucckked last week!" Jimin started slurring on certain words. You noticed his eyes were glossy and glazed over. 

"No, you didn't, Chim." You sighed, completely giving up trying to watch the movie. You would have to watch it on your alone time. 

"Reeaally?" Jimin slurred, a goofy grin uplifting his lips.

"Yes, really. You haven't told me." Amusement lightly coated your voice. 

"Welll, his name is T-tae, Tae-tae something. Hold on, it's coming to me." Jimin said, rubbing the sides of his temples, trying to remember the guys' name. 

"Taehyung! That's it!" Jimin shrieked, snapping his fingers in victory.

You looked at him startled. You remember Taehyung from high school. You didn't recall him being at this college, though. Well, it wasn't like you paid attention to many things outside your bubble anyway.

"Wasn't he homophobic as fuck in high school?" You asked, genuinely interested.

"Yeah, he was. Buttt I guess he was trying to cover up, that he was actually on the DL." Jimin smiled, whispering the last part.

"DL? What's that mean?" You inquired

Jimin looked at you with a look of betrayal. "It means he's on the down-low, meaning he didn't want anyone to know he's gay. Girrl, I'm too crossfaded to be explaining this to you."

You chuckled, " My bad, Chim. So was it good?"

"Fuck, no! Dick was straight trash. The only thing that saved him a little was that his dick was huge." Jimin said, wiping away a pretend tear from the corner of his eye. 

You laughed boisterously at that. If Jimin wasn't so adamant about becoming a professional dancer. He could seriously take up a career in comedy.

"Speaking of dick. When are you gonna get some?" Jimin asked, turning his body to face you completely. As you looked at him, you noticed his eyes seemed a bit clearer, and his face wasn't as red as earlier. Not only did Jimin drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. He was somehow able to sober just as fast.

"Oh my god, Jimin. Please don't sta-"

"Mmm, no missy," Jimin said, wagging his finger in your face.

"Don't you hear it?" He said, cupping his hand around his ear as if he was straining to hear something.

"Hear what?" You replied, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms against your chest.

"The cobwebs and tumbleweed living in your cunt."

"Jimin!" You shrieked, slapping the arm closest to you.

"Don't Jimin me! You know it's true, I swear you're gonna be a 40-year-old virgin, and by the time you finally make the decision to have sex, it'll be too late!" Jimin yelled, stumbling to stand up from the couch.

"First off, ouch. I won't be a 40-year-old virgin. That's very insulting. Second, I do plan to lose it soon. I just haven't found the time or the right guy." You said, looking down at your feet shyly. You did want to lose your virginity, but with being an introvert with a mix of social anxiety and just a dash of seasonal depression for added flavor. It was hard even to get out of bed sometimes. Much less going out and trying to find someone to do the do with.

"Oh! Well, if that's all, then I got you covered, babe. Time? Next week Friday at Jihyo's dorm. As for the right guy, I know a dude. He has like a kink for that kind of thing." Jimin answered nonchalantly, now scrolling through his phone, probably on his social media page.

You looked at Jimin, head tilted to the side, confused. "What kind of thing?"

"Oh, you know fucking virgins and shit. Popping their cherries." He said, popping his "P's."

You sputtered, exasperated. What the fuck. You didn't kink shame, that was for losers, but he can't seriously expect you to do something like that.

"What the actual fuck. Jimin, are you serious?"  

"Deadly." He said, looking you square in your eyes. His tone of voice haven dropped an octave lower.

"Jimin no. I-i can't."

"Jimin, yes! Err, I mean _____ yes, you can! Come on, it's a once in a lifetime experience. Plus, it's not like he's a total stranger. I've known him since he was 8 years old. I use to babysit the little shit head." Jimin said, waving his hand in the air, trying to swat away a rogue fly.

"Wow, Chim. You know, now that you put it like it makes me feel a lot better about the situation." You said tone dripped in sarcasm

"Really?" Jimin squealed, a delighted twinkling in his eye.

"Of course not! Don't be stupid!" Offended, you gawked at Jimin. You swear sometimes he could be so dimwitted.

"Come on, please? At least meet him, and if the vibe is not right, then you can leave no harm done." Jimin pleaded, his attention back on you. Was it crazy that you were actually thinking about agreeing to this? Jimin did have a point. It was sort of a once in a lifetime opportunity. He did know the guy, and if you didn't like the vibe, then you could just bounce, right? Right?

Sighing in defeat, your hands dragged down your face and turned towards a pouting Jimin. Grabbing at his deflated shoulders, you shook her lightly, and with urgency in your voice, you spoke, "Alright goddammit! I'll do it, but you have to stay by my side the whole time, no running off, you understand!" 

You watched Jimin's face quirk into a sly smirk. You swore you could see the cogs in his brain churning. Damn, you were going to regret this. You had the tendency to make deals when pressured. Most of the time, those agreements ended up backfiring on you, confining you in the proverbial rock and a hard place. 

"Yay! Operation: Pop _____ Cherry has commenced. Okay, so will meet at the auditorium on the art campus. From there we will walk to Jihyo's dorm, it's only five minutes. Promise me you'll actually show up and won't flake on me." A complacent expression rested arrogantly on Jimin's features, a single pinky finger extended towards you. 

"Don't give this situation a not-so-secret code name. And I can't believe I'm saying this but, I promise." You agreed, interlocking pinky fingers, yours thumbs coming up to press against one another.

"So I'll meet you at the location Friday, don't be late, and wear something sexy. No granny clothes." he chirped, making his way to your front door.

"Wait! You're leaving already?" you frowned, looking at the clock on your wall. He's only been here for an hour, and 30 mins of it were spent persuading you to hurry up and lose your virginity. You didn't even get to finish the movie together.

"Sorry babe, but I have a dick appointment." he shrugged, putting his arms through the sleeves of his jacket.

"Can you at least tell me the name of the guy who's supposed to fuck me?" you huffed, honestly you were done for tonight. As soon as Jimin left, you were heading straight for bed.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget." Jimin slaps the center of his forehead. "He's a real cutie. I would fuck him if he wasn't as straight as an arrow." Jimin looks off to a far wall, eyeing it with jealousy.

"Just tell me his name, please." You pleaded. Oh yeah, that's definitely a headache forming. You could feel it already. Jimin snaps out of his daydreaming and spins his body towards you.

"Jungkook."

Time skip to a week later, and precisely as you suspected, what a mistake that whole conversation was. Now here you were at this fucking dorm party with people you didn't know or care to get to know. Jimin had left you as soon as he saw his next piece of ass. Restlessly you hauled down the short black dress that insisted on riding up your ass, the soles of your feet protesting in the slim heeled shoes. Floundering your way into the packed building, you couldn't help but query where Jungkook was. Jimin was supposed to get around to send you a picture of the mystery man, but that never happened. Funny how now was the best time you decided to question why exactly Jimin was your best friend.

"Well damn, the pictures Jimin sent me doesn't do you justice at all. You're fucking hot." You recoiled from the closeness of the voice, the heated breath sending chills skittering down your spine, and the hairs on the back of your neck ramrod straight. Heat spurred to your face when you whisked around to meet an absolutely gorgeous guy. Like unfairly gorgeous guy. You stared wide-eyed, taking in his chiseled facial features, paired with wide doe eyes and bunny smile decorating his face. Somehow, someway he's mastered looked soft and sexy at the same damn time. And fuck was that a dangerous combination for your pussy. Your heart too, but more so your cunt.

"U-uh, thanks? Who are you exactly?" You watch as he recoils back from your with a look of apprehension on his face.

"A-are you not ____?" he stutters cutely. You think you can see the beginnings of a blush burning his cheeks. You nod your head once to confirm his question. He stared at you a minute longer before you see the recognition spark in his chocolate orbs.

"Jimin didn't send you my picture did he?" Shaking his head with his eyes close, you get the courage the scan his face a bit more. Yeah. He's definitely blushing.

"Sorry. I guess seeing you here, I thought Jimin would have...prepared you better." Shaking your head from side to side because your words refused to come out. You watched as he backed up a bit further from your personal space and thrust his right hand out to you. 

"The name's Jungkook, or J.K. Whatever suits your taste."

With clammy hands, you taking his outstretched hand marveled at how it almost covers your hand. Now that he's moved back from you, you now had to chance to see how tall he really was. Maybe about 6 to 7 inches taller. You look down at his feet and eye his combat boot, perhaps a little shorter but still taller. And big, yeah, definitely bigger. His oversized black jacket did little to hide the broadness of his shoulders and chest. You let your eyes travel down the length of his body. You bet he's hiding some killer abs under his shirt. And holy fuck, his thighs.

"You like what you see, baby girl?" Teasing, he's teasing but God, if his voice didn't make you pussy throbbing pathetically. Whimpering slightly, you let out a meek "Yes." God, you hope he didn't hear that.

Much to your dismay, he did, hear you. How he heard you with the music as loud as it was, was a mystery to you. But you watched his pupils dilate, and his nostrils flare slightly. Jungkook tucks his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes rake up and down your scantily clad body. His heated stare scrutinized across your body, intrigue exerting over him, as he analyzed the way the snug-fitting dress molded to the curves of your shape. He could tell you didn't do this often. His dick twitched in his jeans with enthusiasm. 

It's the increase in pressure of your hand that makes you realize you're still holding his hand. You go to retract your hand from his. However, yelp shrilly as he tugs you closer to his body. Both hands now resting on his chest, and his wrapped around your waist. Fuck, you could feel the warmth and coarseness of his hands through your thin dress. A spontaneous tremor racked your body. The heat-transmitting from his frame mixed with the floral yet musky undertone of his cologne made you somewhat featherbrained.

"Fuck, you're so soft." You squeak as he squeezes your waistline, pulling you even closer against his body. You were now putty in his hands.

"Jimin told you my....preferences, right?" his voice caressed your ear. Just a slight movement or subtle twitch, and his lips would be on your skin.

"Y-yeah, he did." It should be an embarrassment how frail and breathless you sounded, but that didn't matter.

Jungkook hid his smile behind your ear. This was just too easy. Just how he liked it. He almost felt bad- almost. He was gonna ruin you utterly and completely, mold the shape of cock in the walls of your pussy. His name spilling from your lips, voice going hoarse by how loud he would make you scream. Fuck he couldn't wait. He's had virgin's before, a lot of them. That's his whole M.O. The cherry popper, virgin fucker, whatever. Jungkook's heard all the names in the book. But there's just something about you, you just had an air of genuine innocence, and he couldn't wait to defile it. 

Jungkook pulls his head back, enough to where his eyes can trail over the bared skin of your neck, and the sprinkling of perspiration sparkling off the bright strobing lights, no doubt from nervousness. His tongue traced over his thin upper lip, watching the droplets of sweat spiral down the curve of your neck. He wanted to taste you. 

"Alright, then." He jerks his body away from you. You're no longer touching his chest, but his hands are still on your waist. 

"Let's enjoy the party before the fun really begins. Every done body shots before?" Jungkook spoke casually, undeterred by the way you recoiled back or the look of stupor on your face.

"W-what? B-body shots, why?" you squeaked, failing to keep from stuttering over your words. Is this how it's supposed to go? Is this normal? You're bewildered, and just a bit perturbed. Were you just imagining that sexual tension that was going on just moments ago? For sure, you thought Jungkook was gonna throw you over his shoulders and haul you off to the nearest unoccupied bedroom or bathroom. At that instant, you didn't care. 

Jungkook regarded the war of emotions wage across your features, merriment and strobing lights twinkling in his eyes. Fuck, you were cute, so desperate staring up at him with a pout on your face a puppy dog eyes. He could honestly just take you back to the closest room and fuck the shit out of you. But he wanted to play with his prey, a bit more. The wait made it that much more satisfying.

"Don't pout too much, baby girl or I may not be able to contain myself. Follow me. The table is this way."

Jungkook didn't indulge in answering any of your questions you rambled off at him, delighted to see you trailing on his heels like a lost pup. Jungkook directed you further into the dorm, and like a dog on a leash, you followed. In the center of a sparse room sat a scraped up black table. You observed the area. It was devoid of many people. The several that were present made no recognition of your proximity in their intoxicated state.

"So who's first?" Jungkook asked, setting the bottle of tequila, rim salt, and limes down on the table.

"U-uh, I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter." You shrugged hesitantly. You were way out of your element here.

"Perfect then, you first." Jungkook should be ashamed by how excited he was at getting to sample your skin. It looked smooth, felt soft when he had you in his arms, and would no doubt probably taste as sweet as it seemed. You nodded in docility, wandering over to crawl on top of the table, being attentive to your dress. You lay flattened against the table, shiverings racking your body as he began pouring a trail of salt between your cleavage. 

He poured himself a shot in the depression of your throat and tore the lime in half with his bare hands. Smirking at how you flinched when he thumped the liquor bottle down beside your head. Jungkook pushed the other half of the unevenly split lime towards your lips, a silent gesture to take the lime in your mouth. Jungkook watched as your lips curled gently around the hull of the green citrus. A flare of lust stirred in his loins at the action. He couldn't wait to see your lips stretched around the head of his cock. He observed your eyes clamped closed as he began dropping his head forward to your chest. It was adorable and innocent. He noted the way your lips slackened around the citrus in your mouth, your chest heaving in speed, the closer his tongue trailed to your neck.

You tasted splendid, just as sweet as he thought. The salt on your skin did nothing to deter your natural flavor. If anything, it enhanced your sweetness, rendering your skin damn near mouth-watering. Jungkook's ears perked at the breathless moans slipping past the fruit perched against your lips, drawn out by the repeated pass of the wet, pink appendage lapping at the salt line between the valley of your breast. Committing your muffled moans to memory, he lapped persistently at the collection of salt and tequila in the hollow at the base of your neck.

You face flammed in embarrassment as panting moans effortlessly tumbled from your mouth. Who knew your chest and neck was such an erogenous spot. Despite your shame, you couldn't stop wriggling, shifting your thighs together for some form of friction to sate the rising arousal dampening your panties. You yelped at the sensation of blunt teeth nibbling at your skin before soft lips came to suck at the shallow indentations. Fluffy hair with an undercut came into your line of vision as Jungkook lifted his head up to your lips. Your heart stammered tortuously against your ribs, flirtatious eyes stared lidded with searing lust, his head advanced closer to your lips. Your eyes fluttered closed, lips puckering against the bitter hull of the lime.

Jungkook closed the distance, slanting his mouth over the lime, blocking his contact with yours. He sucked against the sour fruit, acidity puckering his lips, residual tartness flowing to your cracked lips. Jungkook withdrew from your mouth, taking the drained lime hull with it. Your saccharine moans were heaven to his ears. It had awoken something inside him, fueled his fire in knowing that possibly no one had ever heard such a sweet sound. He wanted more, craved more. 

"Have you ever been kissed before, sweetheart?" Your eyes followed the movement of his tongue, poking out to moistening his lips. 

"Yeah, once in like 3rd grade." Who hasn't snuck behind a tree or hid underneath the dark coverings of playground equipment to lock lips with a childhood crush?

He grinned salaciously, body moving to rest between your spread legs. Oh, now he was really excited. Your lips were practically untouched. Just another part of your body to claim first. You jumped when palms pressed flat against the revealed skin of your thigh. Gently, Jungkook rubbed lazy circles on your skin, never lowering or furthering than the hem of your dress. He felt you wiggle beneath his hands, observed your eyes, glimpsing―darting about, should you concentrate on his face, or his hand, uncertainty was etched on your face.

"Amazing." He groaned, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, before grinning again. His face inched closer to yours, his lips but a breath apart, warmth flickered against your lips as he talked, level and smooth. " Well, how about I become your second?

And then his lips were on you, the soft muscle mangled itself to your lips, tentative and sluggish to give you a chance to register his mouth slanted upon yours. Jungkook chuckled against your lips at your unresponsiveness. He guesses you were a little shell shocked. It only takes a few more stagnant seconds before you're shyly reciprocating his kiss. Delicate, shaky movements highlighted your inexperience. Increasingly, Jungkook increased the pressure behind lips, his hands spreading to enclose around your waist, dragging you closer against him. One of Jungkook's hands removed from your waist to bury itself in your hair, gently his fingernails scratched against your scalp, an airy moan was his reward. 

Hands completely abandoning your midsection, one gripped the meat of your thigh, pulling you to the edge of the table, flush against the tent of his denim jean encased manhood, the other embedded in your strands pulled sharply on your roots, a loud gasp tearing from you. Jungkook took that opportunity to advance his tongue into your gaped mouth. His tongue wrapped itself around yours, briefly wrestling for dominance before easily pinning your tongue in submission. His hips ground against yours, the heat of your covered core teased him through his jeans. 

He thoroughly explored your mouth, swallowing the now copious cries leaving your mouth. Reluctantly, Jungkook tore himself from your kiss-swollen lips. The ravished looked suited you perfectly. You looked beautiful, thighs brazenly spread, eyes glazed over in lust, your sticky chest heaving from the length of the shared kiss. Even in the dim lights, he could make out the taunt pebbling of your nipples. 

Your mouth gaped wide, flapping about like a fish out of water, trying despairingly to draw air into your lungs. Your first kiss definitely didn't compare to this much. Your wide eyes flicked between Jungkook and the floor, your bottom lip tucked firmly between your teeth, feeling shy as he just stares at you. Releasing your teeth from your lips, you timidly touched your mouth, admiring how plump they've gotten from the intense liplock.

Wordlessly Jungkook hitched you over his shoulder, winded with a grunt as his defined shoulder blades dug into your stomach and what sounded like a growled vibrate up into you. You squirmed lightly in his hold, scared he was going to drop you, and secondly, your panty-clad ass on display for the party-goers, not that anyone was looking. 

You watched the continuous panels of hardwood floor move beneath you as Jungkook carried you to an unknown destination. You couldn't believe you were really doing this. Were you actually going to have sex with a complete stranger? Someone who was known for explicitly fucking virgins. Realistically, you should be ashamed, yet, you conceded full control to him without a second thought. What did that say about you? About your character? Would you now be labeled as 'easy' or a 'hoe' after all this was done? What was going to happen between you and Jungkook? 

The flick of a switch stirred from your thoughts. You shield your eyes with your hand at the bright lights pouring into the room, or rather a bathroom. Jungkook loved the confusion marring your features. He wouldn't fuck you in his bedroom just yet. That was a privilege you would have to earn, no matter how intrigued he had become with you. There's always humiliation to be had in the corruption of innocence, and fucking you in the bathroom was a good start. He planned on making you watch him as he destroyed your body, popping your cherry, stretching your tight virginal hole to accommodate his length, and claimed it as his own. Jungkook shuddered at the thought, his possessive nature taking a turn for the worst. 

Impatiently Jungkook sat you on top of the bathroom sink counter, his lips smashed against yours, the previous tenderness was gone, vanished into a puff of smoke. Teeth banged, and tongues flailed recklessly against each other in the heat of passion, with you struggling to keep up with the demands of his dominating kiss. Thick fingers trailed beneath the hem of your dress, tickling the expanse of your thighs. Jungkook wasted no time in shifting your slick soaked panties to the side, a warm digit gliding effortlessly through your damn folds.

"Fuck, you're already so wet. You're enjoying this a little too much, baby girl." Jungkook growled, panting against your lips. His finger breached your sex, you tensed deftly around the foreigner intrusion, stretching your weeping walls. 

"Ah, Jungkook." You cried listlessly, rocking your hips against his stilled finger. He felt so good inside you, and it was just his finger. Maybe this experience wouldn't be as bad as you heard. Now you couldn't wait to see what his cock felt like embedded deep within your pussy. Jungkook pumped slowly, eventually introducing a second finger to help loosen you up more. You were gonna be a tight fit, very tight, but that just made it even better. You hissed at the slight burn as he began scissoring his fingers apart with each withdrawal. Your hands wrapped around his neck as you buried your head against his broad chest, your mellifluous moans suppressed by the fabric of his shirt. 

"G-go faster, please." You begged, your body adjusting and quickly becoming frustrated by the snail's pace his fingers were pumping. You bucked your hips against his hands, hoping he would ease the growing discomfort boiling in your stomach. 

"Have you ever had an orgasm before, babe?" You nodded eagerly at his question, whining as you bucked against his hand again.

"Oh, really? Who gave it to you." Slow, he was going too slow you wanted, no you needed more friction, more stimulation from him.

"M-me. I-i did." Jungkook loved how you stuttered, it stroked his ego and filled him with arrogance to know it was him, and only that was capable of making you stumble over your words.

"Mmm, and how did you do it? Did you rub this little clit of yours raw?" You cried louder when his thumb flicked at your clit, the stimulation further drawing the appendage from its hood.

"Or did you fuck this tight hole, with these tiny fingers of yours?" At those words, a loud, choked moan, even muffled by your face in his chest, echoed throughout the white bathroom. Jungkook had gone deeper inside, almost to the third knuckle. Another moan left your lips as he twisted his fingers inside you, his palm now facing upwards.

"Though you and I bought know they couldn't possibly reach deep enough to touch the spot you really want." It's euphoric, no better yet orgasmic, the sheer shock of electric pleasure that zaps through your body when he finds the spongy bundle of nerves. Your body jerked heavily, legs go to snap close, only to be stopped by his broad body between your thighs.

He chuckles softly, stroking your thigh with his other hand. Jungkook shifts his head down, bringing his mouth closer to your ear. He exhales quietly, warm air tinged with tequila and lime caresses the light hairs on you around your ear. " I found it, huh?"

You whimper, rubbing your head up and down against his chest.

"You want me to speed up the pace, sweetheart?" Jungkook's voice is delicate now, so gentle. But you're confused, overwhelmed, and scared. It's never felt like this when you did it yourself. Your not sure if you could handle the feeling, so you don't provide an answer to Jungkook's question.

"Don't ignore me ____, that's not nice manners. I'll ask again." You clench around his fingers as Jungkook inches just a bit deeper. 

"Do you. Want me. To go faster?" With each pause, he arches his fingers in a 'come here' motion, pressing deeply against your bundle of nerves, the sensation of having to pee accompanied with each thrust.

 "Y-yes, faster, more. Pl-lease." Fuck, you sounded so pretty begging for him if he wasn't addicted before. You had him sprung now. Jungkook buried his face in the crook of your neck, the sharp smell of tequila and salt still lingering on your skin. He sucked at the junction where your shoulder and neck met. You bucked harder against his fingers, your juices now dripping to coat his palm is sticky cream.

"If you wanted more. Why didn't you just ask?" Jungkook said deviously. Confused, you felt withdraw his sticky digits, walls gripping to stop their departure. Without warning, Jungkook flipped you over onto the counter, your knees buckled at the sudden change in position. Your faced burning at your displayed state, droplets of your essence dribbled from your pussy, slicking up your inner thighs. You yelped as Jungkook grasped at the length of your hair, pulling back pointedly, your neck craned back to observe him addressing you in the mirror.

"You've been wondrous for me ____. Such a sweet girl." He expressed, his empty hand disappearing behind your perked ass to fiddle with the groin of his pants. 

"Truly, you have. Your response and reactions to my touch have really gotten me riled up. It's been a while since I've tittered on the edge of losing control." You wheezed, starting to panic as you felt the thick head of his cock slap teasingly against your slicked throbbing hole. Oh, God, he's huge. Jungkook's cock might just tear you apart. You shifted your hips forward, pressing against the cold marble of the bathroom counters door.

"I-i don't think, I can t-take it Jungkook, you're too b-big. It's my first-time, r-remember?” Your stuttering worse now, but you're scared.

Jungkook pulls your hips back with the hand the was grasping his length, the side of your hip now coated in his pre-cum. His hand lays flat in the crease of your back, forcing you into a perfect arch. 

"You can take it, all of it. And don't worry, of course, I remembered your fragility. I'll go slow, I promise." You plead silently with your eye contact through the mirror. 

"You ready?" You nod once an advert your eyes down to the sink.

Your mouth shakily falls agape as he slowly began pushing the head of his cock into you. It burns, but not as bad as you had anticipated. You take the chance to look back up into the mirror, adamant about giving Jungkook a thankful smile for his gentleness. That vision that greets looks like it jumped right off the page of your favorite erotic story. 

Jungkook's got his head thrown back, the edge of his t-shirt clenched tightly between his teeth, your eyes trail the drip of sweat that follows the curve of his jawline. You have a clear view of his abs all the way down to the v-cut of his hip, to the happy trail that leads to a neatly trimmed bush of pubic hair. You clench tightly around him, efficiently aroused by the view. You feel his cock throbbed heavily inside you, even getting bigger if possible.

"You like that, sweet girl? You like seeing me struggling to contain myself because you're so tightly around me. This little pussy trying to milk me for all I can give you." You love it. You feel powerful in a way. Do you really feel that good around him?

"Yes." Jungkook draws out the 'S.' 

"You feel amazing, so warm and wet. I wished you could see how coated in white you've got me, and I'm not even all the way in yet."

You scream soundless as he bucks into you, shoving in half of his length. It doesn't hurt anymore. You just feel stuffed full. Lifting a trembling hand, you take the chance a feel the lower part. You noticed swelling that wasn't there before, intrigued; you push down against it, moaning in shock you realize it's Jungkook's cock. 

"Yeah, baby girl, that's all me, well, most of me. You ready to take the rest?"

"Yes! Please!" That's the clearest you've been all night. You don't get an answer as Jungkook immediately picks up his pacing, thrusting into you faster. He wastes no time pumping deeply into your tight pussy, his tip smashing against the entrance to your cervix as you pant and grit your teeth in slight discomfort, overshadowed by pleasure. The burning sensation is back as he fucks in deeper with each brutal and swift stroke. But you don't care cause it still feels amazing. You can hear yourself, sloppy and soaking wet, echoing throughout the bathroom. You're drooling down his pistoning cock. You can feel it dripping down your inner thighs. Your head jerks violently against your shoulders, to weak support your head from his menacing thrust. 

Tightened vocal cords released strained shrieks of praise; from your mouth, drool dripping from your lips, into the sticky cleavage of your breast, and sweat coated your skin. The coil in your stomach was quickly tightening, never had you felt anything so deep inside you. If you ever had sex with anyone else, they would never compare to Jungkook.  You were fucked both figuratively and literally.

Jungkook pulled you further from off the sink, the new position allowing him even deeper. You clawed at the marble tops underneath your fingers, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. That sensation of having to pee is back again.

"J-K, I-m. I have to-," You don't get to finish as the band in your stomach snapped. Silently you announced your release; if it wasn't for the new wave of cum coating his cock, or the fluttering tightness of your walls, Jungkook might have missed your orgasm. He wasn't far behind you. The constant clenching of your ridged walls around his cock, had him reaching his limit sooner than he would like. Jungkook had half a mind to pull out but decided to gamble his odds. You're the first person he's fucked raw in a while, and with three deep thrusts later, he was shooting his hot seed right against your cervix. 

Breathing heavily, Jungkook lets you fall against the sink, observing as you crumpled against the sink countertop. Pride swelled his chest as he watched his seed bubble out of your well-used hole. He's never contemplated going farther with the virgins he fucked. He wouldn't make any hasty decisions now though there were still a lot of things he wanted to do with you. He would sleep on it and revisit the idea in the morning.

"So would you say, Operation: Pop Your Cherry was a success?"

You giggled, winded, still having difficulty catching your breath. You straighten up against the bathroom counter, the majority of your weight still resting on the object as you had yet to regain the feeling in your legs.

"Jimin and his stupid code names. I swear when I get a hold ass, he's dead." You warned already preparing your revenge on your best friend. You stare at Jungkook in the eyes through the mirror, smile a bit goofy, you say.

"Operation: Pop My Cherry. Mission complete."

[heyhihellowhatsup0]

Hooked On Your Feelings - Prologue (FWB! Tom x Reader)

Warnings: Some angst, language, eventual smut in future chapters, fluff

Word Count: 2570

Summary: After a bad breakup, making an agreement with your womanizing neighbor, Tom to be friends with added benefits and no strings attached seemed like the perfect idea. Until things become messy, emotions caused your agreement to crumble.

A/N:   So I’m starting a new series! I always wanted to do this trope for Tom and I’m realllllly excited for this series!  I’m not completely sure how long it will be as of right now, most likely between 8-10 chapters. So if you want to be added to the taglist, please DM me! I hope you all enjoy the prologue and can’t wait to hear your thoughts on it! (Also credit to @osterfield-holland-andcompany for this amazing ass mood board I made her too..I’m obsessed!) Thank you xx -N

“Get out!” you screamed as you shoved your now ex-boyfriend out the front door of your apartment. You knew the walls were thin but you didn’t care. You were so completely filled with rage and your body was vibrating as you flung his pants at him, “Get the hell out, Justin!” you shouted again.

    Justin flinched as the door swung open and he stumbled out the front door, still in his boxers. The anger in your eyes made your pupils black while he grabbed his pants and rolled his eyes at you, “Will you just let me explain, Y/N?” he tried to speak but you cut him off with a dry and sarcastic laugh.

    “No. The conversation is over,” you snapped at him, taking another deep breath to try and pull yourself together. You felt yourself fighting back the tears because you didn’t want him to see you cry. Not again, anyway.

    Watching as Justin stumbled down the stairs, you stood at the top completely and utterly overcome with your anger you barely recognized your voice. But you knew you had every right to be mad. You couldn’t excuse his behavior and you were done defending him. You knew you deserved better than the shit he was putting you through. It was enough and now you were letting it all pour out as he was practically falling down the stairs.

    You grabbed the shoe he had dropped on his way out the door and aimed it right towards his head, missing and making a loud thud against the wall behind him. You probably just woke up the entire floor but you didn’t care right now. Forming a fist, you refrained from punching the door as you finally lost it, “Don’t call me! Don’t even walk down the same street as me anymore, do you hear me? You conniving son of a bitch!” your voice bounced off the walls with an echo as you watched Justin exit your life through the elevator, still with his pants in his hand.

    You couldn’t help yourself as you flipped off the closing doors while you let out the breath you were holding in. Your chin began to tremble as you tried to stop yourself immediately. He wasn’t worth it, you thought to yourself. You should be proud of getting rid of him. Especially after what he had done to you.

    Just as you were heading back into your apartment before anyone realized you were the cause for the commotion, your neighbor’s door flew open and made you jump when you saw his familiar face meet yours from across the hall. You saw his smile as he noticed you and you knew what that meant, you just weren’t in the mood right now to assist in his little escapade.

    “Y/N! Oh, I thought I heard your voice out here,” your neighbor from 3B made his way over to you with bare feet, brown curls a mess, with his grey sweatpants resting low on his hips as his bare chest was revealed to the entire floor, “Thank god! I need your help with this chick inside who is talking about meeting her family this weekend and I’ve known her for...three hours,” he cringed as he carefully tip-toed his way over towards you.

 You couldn’t help but roll your eyes because this was a regular thing for him, even if it wasn’t your business. But he was a friend of yours, in a neighborly way at least, so at some point you made it your business.

    “No,” you scolded him as you shook your head. You tried to hold in your laugh at the desperate look on his face but you couldn’t help, “Not tonight, Tom. No! C’mon, seriously? No!” you warned as he began to give you puppy dog eyes to try and convince you otherwise.

    Tom pressed his palms together and pressed them to his chest, praying for your assistance, “Please, Y/N! I owe you so much if you help me out and this is the last time, I swear,” he paused for a moment when he realized you were standing by your door this late at night and you looked as if you had gone through hell. His lips tightened as he suddenly grew concerned, “Wait, what are you doing out here right now?” he questioned.

    You sighed as you pinched the bridge of your nose, “Um...I sorta caught Justin sleeping with his co-worker so I was just kicking him out, sorry,” you don’t know why you apologized for it but you knew you didn’t want Tom or anyone for that matter to see you when you were this visibly upset.

    “He did what?! Fuck...Y/N, I’m so sorry,” Tom said as he offered you a hug, pulling you into his bare arms while he tried to make you feel a little bit better, “That guy was a fucking prick and I never really liked him anyway,” he told you, making you laugh through your tears while you pulled away with a small smile showing.

    Running a hand through his curls to smooth them over, Tom squeezed your shoulder playfully, “If it makes you feel any better, I’m probably a bigger mess than you right now,” he told you as he cringed at what was waiting for him back in his apartment.

    “No, you have a bigger mess than me,” you corrected with another eye roll. Quickly wiping your tears away you placed a hand on your hip while taking another breath towards Tom and his stupidity, “If I do this, you owe me big time,” you sighed.

    Tom was a good guy but the decisions he sometimes made were, to say the least, questionable. You didn’t know too much about his personal life but just enough to come to the realization that he couldn’t commit to much of anything. He was always bringing random girls home, roommates came and went, and he had a tendency to flake on tenant meetings at the last minute.

 There was no question that he wasn’t looking to settle down, you never once saw him with the same girl more than once and that was none of your business nor concern. Tom was a good neighbor to you. He watered your plants for you while you were out of town visiting your family, he kept his music down to an appropriate volume, he would even bring you pizza on occasion to eat together while you gossiped about the other tenants on your floor. And sometimes in return, he would ask for favors like bailing him out of sticky situations that you tried not to judge too harshly.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Tom gave you another hug with a kiss against your cheek, “I will owe you for fucking life, Y/N,” he thanked you as he waited for you to head into his apartment to do what he clearly was too afraid to do himself. Letting girls off bluntly was something he was never good at. Then again, that was a whole other issue he didn’t want to think about.

Tom followed you into his place as you glared at him when you saw all of the clothes strewn across the living room floor. Making a face at the boxers on the ground you shuddered at the thought of what the hell went down in this apartment as you watched Tom nod towards his bedroom signaling that she was in there.

Nodding your head you rolled your eyes before you got yourself into your character. Seconds later, you whipped around and channeled your anger towards Tom as you slammed his door shut, “Save it, Tom! I won’t hear it! I come home after taking a double shift for us and this is what I come home to?!”

 Tom gave you a thumbs up that you were doing a good job as you slammed your fist against the nearby counter, “I just spent fourteen hours stripping to pay your way through law school so we could afford a better place to live and this is the thanks that I get? You fucking some random girl?!” you shouted while you shook your head towards Tom with a shrug.

“Woah, nice touch. I love the story line this time,” Tom whispered with an approving smile as he pointed towards the bedroom door, signaling for you to go and get rid of her.

You stormed into the bedroom, already seeing the girl scurrying to find her shoes, “Oh god! Please, I’m so sorry,” she pleaded as her red hair swung back and forth while she adjusted her sequin cocktail dress. Limping through the threshold of the door she couldn’t even look at you or Tom as her face grew red, “I had no idea that he-”

“That he what? Was married? Was cheating on his wife of seven years? You still want this son of a bitch?” you asked the girl who shook her head ‘no’ nervously, “The both of you need to leave! Get out!” you pointed towards the door as you focused on Tom.

Tom apologized to the girl as she practically ran out the door before he turned to you, “Darling, please let me explain! Think of the children!” he begged you as he still noticed the girl was in earshot.

“I want a divorce and I’m taking both the kids! You won’t have two pennies to rub together by the time I’m done, Thomas! Do you hear me? I can’t believe you would-”

“She’s gone,” Tom cheered silently as his door finally closed with a sigh of relief. He rushed to the fridge to grab two beers as he made his way over to you, “Both the kids? Really?” he teased while he clinked his bottle up against yours.

Giving him a shrug, you brought the beer to your lips as you collapsed onto his couch, “Well if you kept your dick in your pants for once maybe you wouldn’t have to ask your neighbor to make up such elaborate lies on the fly to kick girls out of your apartment,” you teased right back as Tom took a seat right next to you with a pout on his face, “Am I wrong?” you questioned him with a giggle.

“Well, technically, no. But then, where’s the fun in that?” he laughed as he took another sip. Trying to figure out why he even did half of the shit he did anymore. He knew there wasn’t any fun in any of it. Not anymore, anyway.  It made no sense, especially if he wasn’t getting anything out of these situations except drama. And he hated the drama of it all.

You made a face at Tom, “I guess no more fun than watching the guy you were in love with make out with his co-worker,” you stare at the bottom of your bottle, letting the alcohol swirl around your brain as you tried to push away those thoughts. You didn’t want to think about Justin again. It was still fresh but you weren’t ready to move on just yet.

“Guess we both should be alone for a while, huh?” Tom stated as he slumped further into the couch. Downing his beer as he set it aside on the table. This feeling was beginning to come more often than not with Tom after he dismissed one of his...conquests. He didn’t like it anymore because it was suddenly beginning to make him feel like this but he kept doing it anyway in hopes it would go away. But so far it only got worse as the nights rolled in and you came by to kick out more of them. He was lucky you were here because he didn’t feel like being alone right now.

The room fell still as the two of you remained on the couch in silence for a bit. Trying to blur out the events that had taken place earlier with Justin, you finished your drink and placed it beside Tom’s. You knew you wanted something serious and Justin was not that, even though you knew he was going to be trouble from the get go. You knew perfectly well what you needed but maybe you just needed some time for you right now and not to jump in to things that were going to be messy. You wanted numbness but at the same time you wanted to feel something that you hadn’t yet.

Turning your head to face Tom, your eyes met his in the dimly lit living room. The muted TV gave off the only illumination while you both remained there in your tipsy states, trying to figure out where both of your nights had gone wrong.

“I really don’t want to be alone,” you finally broke the silence as you stared into his eyes before they flickered towards his bare chest, back to his eyes slowly.

Tom swallowed as he shook his head, “Me either,” he agreed in the same tone. He noticed you were looking at him and more importantly the way you were looking, but he found himself not minding at all as his eyebrows raised up a bit when your lips crashed into his.

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New Romantics | Part Four

18+

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Categories: Fake dating, neighbours, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending, Smut *as selected by my poll on what you wanted to read*

Warnings: Season 9 Spencer (no Maeve arc), Angst, kissing, drinking, police training mentions, case details, canon typical violence, self-doubt, autistic!spencer, age gaps (24/33), FWB relationships, anxiety attacks, crying, misunderstandings, oral sex (both), penetrative sex, Perv!Spencer low-key, public sex, quickies, multiple orgasms,

Word Count: 5k

a/n: what could possibly go wrong next?

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | epilogue

She’s been asleep barely 2 hours when he shakes her awake, “Hey, when did you need to get ready today?”

“Uh?” She sits up and rubs her eyes, “we don’t have to leave until 1 so, like 11?”

“It’s 8:30, did you want to stay and sleep more?”

She looks at him and sighs, “are we okay?”

He nods, “can we just call it even?”

“Sure,” she agrees without knowing what she did wrong. It was more than just snapping on Tuesday, which is what she was still hurt over. “But I’m going to go, I need to change and stuff.”

“Yeah,” he nods but his smile is sad and she knows she’s fucking it up more.

She gets out of his bed, once it was the warmest bed she’s ever known. Any bed she shared with him was, but now it felt cold and uninviting and there was an unspoken knowingness that they were both genuinely upset.

“I’m still your fake girlfriend for the next 24 hours… can we make them count?” She asks, avoiding eye contact so he can't see her cry if he says no.

“Come here?”

She gets back into the bed and she cuddles into his chest. He holds her for a moment, “you’ve been the best girlfriend in the whole world. Do you really still want to be friends after this? Have I fucked up that bad?”

“Oh honey,” she places a hand on his cheek and looks at him softly, “I will be your neighbour, your best friend, your co-worker, carpool buddy, coffee friend, girlfriend, whatever you need as long as you’d like to have me around.”

He remembers the first time she said that and she knows because his smile is the same. “I love you.”

It hurts, “I love you, too.”

She kisses him quickly, attempting to pull back when his fingers grip her hair and his tongue is on her lips and she’s following his lead again.

“No,” she whispers, “I can’t.”

“Oh,” he stops and his hands drop to his sides so she can get back up.

“I’m going to go get ready, but I’ll come back when I’m done?”

“Yeah,” he nods again.

It breaks her heart to get up and go, she grabs her shoes and she sneaks out of his room, finding her keys in her pocket, she opens her own door and cries the second the door closes.

She cries in the shower, she cries while fixes her hair, she cries while she has lunch. Every song reminds her of the situation, every section of her apartment reminds her of him, the stupid door where they first kissed is closed and she wishes he was stable enough to bang on it and demand an answer.

Whatever was going on between them was reaching a bubbling over point, she can only store so much emotion before she explodes on him.

As soon as she is in her dress, makeup on and ready to go, she walks into his apartment to find him struggling with his bowtie, it makes her smile for the first time since she left his room this morning, “need help?”

“Yes, please.”

She walks over to him and repeats the same movements he attempted, making the bow look pretty before smoothing her hands over his dress shirt and looking up at him. “Handsome as ever.”

“You’re always beautiful,” he compliments her right back but his voice is still as sad as the night before.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on in there?” She pries, tapping his temple with her index finger, “you’re my best friend and I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I heard what you said yesterday,” he whispers, “about how if you were just using someone you would have picked Derek.”

“And?” She doesn’t get why it’s a big deal because it makes perfect sense to her in her mind.

“And it hurt me,” he snaps, “quite a lot!?”

And the dam breaks.

“Because I proved to them that I’m not using you? Spencer do you know what I meant by that?” She snaps right back.

“What else could it mean?! Clearly I’m not hot enough for you to just fuck and toss aside—”

“I meant that I love you and that’s why I’m with you! If I was just using someone for a job then I’d fuck Derek cause he’s a one and done, toss them to the side and never see them again, kind of guy!”

“And?” He repeats her word choice in a snippy tone that makes her furious but she knows he’s just trying his best to understand her.

She sighs loudly and obnoxiously, “and you’re a take him to meet your mom, marry and have his babies, love him for the rest of your life and one day scatter his ashes, kind of lover.” Crying by the end, she wipes her tears and tries to stay somewhat presentable-looking.

He’s silent, eyes wide as he takes in all her words, “I have always loved you,” she adds, “and no matter how fucking angry I am or how stressed or upset, I am never going to stop loving you, Spencer.”

“Me either,” his tone is still just as upset, “and that's the part that sucks.”

“What do you mean?” She just poured her heart out to him and he still doesn’t get it.

“I LOVE YOU!” He screams it at her with his hands thrown in the air, “I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my entire fucking life and it’s driving me crazy!”

“It’s driving you crazy?” She can’t help but laugh like she’s losing her mind, “I have been doing everything in my power to make you understand that I love you and you keep thinking I just want to be friends!”

“Because you said you loved me like a friend the first time?!”

“No, I fucking didn’t!” She is so frustrated she’s turning the same colour as her dress, steaming from her ears like a cartoon character.

“I asked if best friends can be in love because I wanted to see if you would say you loved me more than that, and then you fucking said “yeah cause that’s how I love you” which means you love me as a friend?!”

“Because I thought that’s what you wanted?!”

She can’t rub her eyes cause she’ll ruin her makeup but she is so mad she just wants to scream. Pressing her fingers to her own temples, she turns away from him and sighs, she loves him so much and yet this is the most frustrating thing that’s ever happened.

“You are so lucky,” she just laughs, shaking her head back and forth as she turns back to him, “you are so fuckin’ lucky.”

“Why?”

She wraps her arms around his middle and looks up into his eyes with one last sigh, “we have to go or we’ll be late, so I can’t explain all of my feelings right now, so let’s bench this conversation and I can show you just how much I love you when we get back?”

“Okay,” he nods. He rests his hands on her arms and he looks down with the softest glance, he’s still trying so hard to not cry. “I’m really sorry.”

“So am I, I should have listened to you better and explained myself more,” she whispers, “do you believe me now?”

He nods, “I told you, it’s hard for me.”

“I tried my best to be subtle so I didn’t scare you off, but I guess you really don’t do subtle?” She can’t help but laugh, “but I really do love you.”

His hands are on her cheeks, pulling her into a kiss, she melts against him. He breathes her in, it’s the longest and deepest kiss she’s ever had and she honestly feels like he’s taking her soul and making her his. She belongs to him and she knows it, now he does too.

“I love you, too.”

—

All eyes are on her and it makes him smile, she’s the only one in a red dress in a room full of black and white, she stands out like a sore thumb. She looks the most beautiful, she stands beside Spencer with her arm wrapped around his and a huge smile on her face, it makes him even happier to see her smile again.

The hardest part of fighting with her was knowing she was upset and that he was only making it worse. Seeing her smile return is everything to him, he loves her more than words can express and she loves him right back, he can tell by the way she smiles at him; because it’s exactly the same way he’s smiling at her.

“I see that you’ve made up,” Derek interrupts their current dance to say hello.

The BAU team was always so busy on nights like this, they had all the best stories and everyone wanted to hear them, which meant they typically didn’t see each other a lot for the whole night.

“We did,” Spencer smiles. “Thank’s Derek.”

She looks up at them both, confused, “how many of them know?”

“Huh?” He plays dumb but she can see right through him.

“Do they all know I’m not really your girlfriend or is it just Aaron, Derek and whoever else you told?”

“Elle,” he says her name. “I told the first girl I slept with that I was falling in love with you because I needed advice from someone who has already been with me and knows how I get.”

“Sick, cool, love that for you,” she smiles and walks away.

He grabs her and she stops, “I told you how much it hurt that I had no one to talk to and you told all of them? And you couldn’t even tell me you really loved me this whole time? I thought we were best friends Spencer?” She shakes her head, disappointed more than anything, swatting his hand off her as he reaches to stop her.

“Let her go, she’s right to be a little mad,” Derek holds him back. “let her be mad.”

“Why?” Spencer is so new to relationships he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“She wants to be your girlfriend for real, let her calm down and then go apologize and ask her,” Derek's smile is sweet as he pulls Spencer into a hug.

It slowly becomes a dance, everyone is used to Derek being touchy with his friends, he has danced with everyone so far tonight so it’s only fair Spencer has a turn. Spencer holds him tight, eyes closed so he doesn’t have to think about all the attention he’s been getting since they arrived.

“Thank you for always being here for me,” he whispers, “but I have to go see her.”

“Fights like this just make your relationship stronger, it teaches you how she wants you to communicate, she just wants you to be honest with her, always,” he whispers with his cheek pressed to Spencer's, “and angry make-up sex is really fun.”

It makes him laugh, “thanks, but she won’t be sleeping with me for a few days, if my memory is correct then she’s mad for more than one reason.”

“Ah,” Derek gets it, “good luck my friend. Good luck.”

When Spencer pulls away, he heads in the direction Y/N left and follows the hallway as far as it goes. She’s sitting on a bench by a window, staring off at the night sky as she takes some deep breaths. She looks a little more peaceful, she’s had a really rough few weeks and he’s not making it any easier on her.

“I know two things for sure,” he speaks softly but she still jumps a little as she turns to him.

“What would they be?”

“That you’re the love of my life,” he’s confident as he sits on the bench beside her and takes her hand in his. “And I’m an idiot when it comes to love.”

“That is quite the dilemma,” she smirks, her eyes gleam as she looks at him and he knows she was trying not to cry by how glossy they are, but it makes her more beautiful, somehow.

“I’m really sorry.”

“All you have to do is tell me the truth, Spencer,” she places her hand on his leg and leans in with a whisper, “it’s really simple.”

“Truth is,” he whispers right back, lips close enough to kiss, “I’m never going to stop loving you, which means more stupid moments are in my future. Just so you know.”

She giggles and kisses him quickly, “I don’t mind being the smart one in the relationship, but you still have to ask.”

“Will you be my girlfriend and let me love you for the rest of my life, no matter how much I fuck up and drive you crazy?” He teases her, knowing she’ll say yes regardless.

“On one condition,” she can’t hide the smirk on her face and he’s nervous at what she’s thinking.

“Anything?”

“You let me love you for just as long? If not longer.”

He nods, “forever?”

She nods back before kissing him just as deeply as they did that morning, her hands in his hair as she presses his face into her’s with force. She holds him there and breathes him in, pulling back with a classic smooch sound, she smiles again, “you’re my boyfriend now.”

He nods with a small smile, “what should we do first as boyfriend and girlfriend?”

She bites her lip and pretends to think about it for a moment, “fuck in the linen closet down the hall?”

“I don’t have any condoms on me?” Is his only worry, not getting caught, not that all their bosses and superiors were there, just that he didn’t have a condom.

She pulls one out of her bra with a smile, “Savannah gave this to me about 3 minutes before you came over here.”

“How much make-up sex do they have?” He asks as he takes her hand and leads her down the hallway.

She’s giddy and smiling, her heels click on the floor as they rush to the other end of the hall and open the little door. There are shelves with towels and rolls upon rolls of silverware in cloth napkins. A vacuum in the corner, some brooms and just enough room for them.

She pulls him in closer and shuts the door, reconnecting their lips as she pushes him up against it. Hands reaching for his belt she kisses down his neck and he’s like putty in her hands as soon as she strokes him, he moans by accident and she covers his mouth with her free hand.

“Do you have any idea how turned on you make me? I have wanted to fuck you since I first saw you, 6 years ago…”

“Really?” His muffled voice behind her hand makes her laugh. She removes her hand and instead runs her fingers through his hair while taking a moment to look at him and really take it all in.

“Yeah,” she nods, “which is why I asked to sleep with you on the way home from the bar, I didn’t know if I could handle it either it, but I’ve always wanted Doctor Reid from the BAU to rail me. I just didn’t think we’d end up falling in love?”

“No one has ever admitted to having a crush on me and meant it,” he whispers.

“I’m glad I get to be one of your firsts,” she smiles again before he pulls her into another kiss.

She kisses the side of his mouth and then his jaw, down his neck and then she’s dropping to her knees in front of him. He’s hard in her hands but he twitches as he sees her like this, looking up at him with lust-blown eyes as she strokes him, she flattens her tongue and taps the tip of his cock to it.

He has to cover his own mouth or else he’s going to get them caught, he moans at the feeling, closing his eyes and that's when she takes him in her mouth. His free hand is in her hair, careful not to mess it up but enough grip to steady himself.

He tilts his head back against the door with a knock and a sign, “fuck,” he can’t help but talk into his hand which only makes it sound louder in the tight space.

She feels so good every single time and yet this one feels different, he looks down at her and she pulls off, “what’s wrong?”

“I love you,” he shrugs.

He helps her back up to her feet and she backs up against the shelves, “come here?”

He helps her hike her dress up, holding all the material up as he slips her underwear off and takes that condom back out of her bra with a single kiss to her chest. He rolls it over himself and lines up with her, her arms wrap around his shoulders as she looks at him, “show me how much you love me?”

He slides in and they don’t break eye contact as she takes him, her mouth opens in a silent gasp at the feeling, her hands grip his shoulders tighter as she steadies her ass on a shelf and wraps her legs around him while he bottoms out.

With a hand on her cheek and one on her lower back, he pulls out and thrusts back in with a smile as she bites back a moan, she pulls his face in close to hers to kiss him while he fucks her. The hand on his cheek slides down her neck, applying a small amount of pressure that makes her breathing hitch. She swallows sharply before his hand starts to trail over her breasts and then between them.

With a thumb on her clit, he fucks her a little harder while rubbing his thumb in a circle. She’s breathing heavily into his mouth, placing sloppy kisses against each other as they enjoyed each other.

She’s so close and he knows it, and then there is a knock on the door.

“Spence, we have a case when you’re done?” He hears Derek's voice behind the door and he can’t believe it.

“Okay!” He calls back without stopping, instead, he fucks into her a little faster.

“Oh!” She moans by accident before covering her mouth with a slap and wide eyes, moaning behind her hand as she bounces on his cock.

He kisses her hand, making her move it so he can press his lips back to hers and absorb all the noises she was going to make, her hands both reach for his back, gripping his suit jacket so tight he’s afraid she might rip it.

She cums with a shocked gasp, it’s as quiet as possible but it still echos around them as he gets closer and closer. He buries his face in her neck and accidentally moans as well as he cums, stilling his hips as he holds her there, sputtering his hips against hers as they catch their breath.

“I love you,” he manages to say between breaths, “that much.”

“You need to go,” she smiles.

He kisses her one last time before he pulls out, he loves the way she gasps every time he does so. She smiles after, their teeth clashing as they laugh, “I’m going to get in so much trouble.”

“I’m never going to get a job,” she shakes her head as she gets off the shelf and fixes her dress.

He takes off the condom and wraps it in some paper towel on the shelf, he’ll get rid of it later. She picks up her underwear, he thinks she puts them back on, but she really slides them into his pocket for him to find in the middle of the case when he reaches for something important...

—

She rides back to headquarters with Penelope and JJ, both of them want to ask and she knows it. Mainly because she looks like she’s had sex, and also because she asks to stop at the academy so she can get another pair of underwear from her locker.

It’s not until they’re in Penelope’s office that they ask, “what’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” She plays dumb.

“Dating Spencer?” Penelope says, “more specifically, having sex with him?” She mumbles and it makes Y/N laugh.

“In total, we’ve been having sex for 3 weeks now and I’ve had 21 orgasms, and we only really fuck on the weekends cause that’s when we’re not busy…” she grinds her teeth slightly with a raised brow, taking a deep breath, “yeah. It’s really great.”

“Holy shit?” They both look more shocked than she’s ever seen them. “How many has he had?” Penelope asks with a quiet voice, pretending she didn’t.

She laughs slightly, “like maybe 14? He’s really generous.”

“What the fuck?” JJ turns to Penelope and shakes her head and there’s something more there that Y/N can sense.

“Who’s Elle?” She asks and they both turn to her with the biggest eyes.

“How do you know about Elle?”

“She’s the first person he slept with?”

“When?” They both shout.

“So he wasn’t kidding. You guys really thought he was a virgin this whole time?” She looks at them like they’re crazy. “How?”

They both just shake their heads and sigh, stuttering and looking for words they don’t have. “We just never thought he could?”

“Snooze ya loose, I guess?” She shrugs, “so what is the case and how can I help?”

“Right! We have a case,” Penelope snaps back into it, “but seriously Elle? Are you sure you have your names right?”

“Penelope,” she looks at her seriously.

“Right, they’re headed to Roanoke.”

There was a child abduction of a 6-year-old girl, CARD and the BAU were both called out and that meant everyone was mingling on the two floors and they would use as much help as possible.

It also turns out that Anderson’s surrogate went into labour a little earlier than anyone expected; so he and his husband have left for paternity leave early. Leaving JJ without an assistant and she really needs help in the office for this one.

She catches on rather quickly, knowing the protocols from her training and she’s not afraid to ask questions. She’s still in her dress, her heels click on the tiles as she rushes around with files, making phone calls and running from the briefing room to Penelope’s office.

When they finally crack the case and apprehend the suspect, she sits down finally. It’s been 11 hours since the banquet, and she was exhausted beyond belief. She never slept the night before, Spencer was uncomfortable and she was in her jeans and when she did fall asleep, he was waking her up moments later to get ready.

It's Sunday morning at 9 am when Spencer finally returns back at headquarters. She’s sitting at his desk when he comes up and wraps his arms around her, “we’re going home, come on.”

“Don’t you have to debrief?”

“Did that on the way back,” he turns her around in the role chair and tilts her head up to look at him, she’s so tired and he can tell. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Ugh,” she stands up with his help, “I did enough profiling today and now I have a whole week to get through.”

“Just to come back and work here,” he smiles, “if you still want to?”

She wraps him up in a real hug and nods against him, “it’s so fun, even with all the murder.”

“Coming home to this is really nice,” he whispers before kissing her cheek quickly, “I’m glad you like it here.”

“Well, well, well,” Derek's voice is behind them. They pull away to see him smiling, arms wide as he saunters over, “if it isn’t the new romantics.”

“Did you have any suspicions?” Y/N asks, he was a profiler after all.

“I knew something was up,” he’s honest. “I knew you guys were actually doing stuff together, I just didn’t think there was so much angst behind closed doors?”

“You have no idea,” Y/N laughs, holding Spencer closer, “it took too long.”

“I thought you were fighting about the job, cause he wasn’t really upset until you were in Penelope’s office, and I heard the rumours even before he heard what you said,” Derek smiles again, “but I also knew you loved him and he loves you.”

“Correct,” she can’t help but smile. “But we really should head home.”

“Home we go,” Spencer agrees.

—

She asks him to unzip her dress the second they’re back in her apartment. She drops the dress to the floor and heads to the bathroom and he’s left alone in her room. It feels different now. He remembers kissing her in the living room for the first time like it was yesterday, he remembers the first time they had sex, the first time he said I love you, and now he’s here and she’s his girlfriend and he’s going to get to make more memories with her.

He’s so embarrassed by how much he’s been crying lately, something about being in his mid-30s was making him feel like he was about to go through menopause— he has never been very openly emotional, but it’s about time he lets himself feel. He wipes the tears and turns to face the wall while he takes his suit off.

He’s been through too much, a lot of which she doesn’t know of. She has promised him forever, whether she means it or not, and he’s worried he’s going to fuck it up before he gets there.

When she comes back, she lays a towel down on her side of the bed and gets in, “guess who got her period on her first day of work?”

“No?” He gasps, playing along with her playful mood. “At least you’re not pregnant.”

“Thank god,” she sighs, “please for the love of God, don’t get me pregnant for at least 5 years? I want a decent career first so that I don't miss much on maternity leave. I really don't want to be benched for having kids.”

He cries again and she looks so concerned as she gets out of bed and wraps her arms around him, “what did I say wrong, Spencer?”

Still facing the wall, he just lets it all out, “I’m sorry.”

“For what, sweetheart?” She attempts to soothe him by running her hands down his arms, “for crying or something else?”

“Crying,” he whispers and she turns him around then.

“Hey,” she looks up at him with the softest expression he’s ever seen, “you are allowed to have emotions, you are allowed to show them and ask for help and tell me when you need something. I’m not going to think you’re too much, or I can’t handle you or think of you as a burden. I know that’s how you feel because it’s how I fell, and we don’t need to go through that together.”

“I love you,” it’s the only thing that feels right to say.

“I love you,” she repeats it, “what made you cry?”

“Can we get in bed first?”

“Yeah, finish getting ready and then come tell me,” she whispers before reaching up and pressing a kiss to his lips.

He slips away to go to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face. He’s exhausted but he doesn’t want to miss any time with her. He hurries back to her side, getting into bed in his underwear and making sure both his phones are on the night table, charged and ready if they need him.

But until then, he belonged to her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep?” It’s the first thing he asks because he knows she has a big day tomorrow. “It can wait.”

“What’s that thing you say about intermittent sleep is actually better?”

“Don’t use my words against me, I do that so people don’t stop me from doing what I think I deserve,” he’s truthful. “I’m not going to ever lie or fib to you again. I hate myself, and if I don’t feel like I’ve done enough I won't sleep or eat sometimes.”

“I do that too,” she’s not proud, “are you trying to tell me you cried cause you’re hungry or tired?”

“No,” he smiles, “but thank you for asking for clarification, I like this new system.”

“Me too.”

“I cried because I really love you and I’m realizing this is all real and I’m going to get to make good memories with you, and when you said kids, even in a hypothetical sense, it made it feel real for me,” he whispers the words before pressing his lips together awkwardly.

She glows in the lap light like she did that first night, “it’s a weird concept, isn’t it? The future. At some point I’m going to have known you longer than anyone, one day we’ll have lived with each other longer than we’ve lived apart. We might be grandparents together one day? It’s all weird to think about.”

“Do you seriously want all that with me?” He’s asking because he has another question to ask right after.

“Yes, Spencer,” she laughs. “I really do.”

“Would you like to Marry me?”

“Seriously?” Her eyes widen and her jaw drops and he’s never seen her look this stunned before.

He nods, “my mom isn’t going to able to appreciate my wedding the longer I wait, and if you really mean it; I’d like to have a wedding with my mom there while she remembers me.”

“I know her birthday is coming up, but can we bring her here instead?”

“Why?”

“My parents decided to drive from Salam to here for my graduation and use the flight money on a nice Airbnb for the week. We should do it while they’re all here because I don’t know when they’d be able to come back,” she has had the same worries about her parents missing her life.

“I’ll ask my mom,” he smiles. “So we’re getting married?”

“in like a week,” she laughs, “oh fuck, how are we going to do that in a week?”

He rolls over and grabs his personal phone, he dials a number and she looks even more confused now.

“Hey Penelope, how fast can you plan a wedding?”

~

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[solarwonux]

8. “We need to talk about what happened last night.”

25.  “It’s an office with huge windows, everyone can see.” “So?”

marketing director!mingyu x f!reader

w.c: 2.6k

warnings: a little bitt of angst, a little bit of fluff, suggestive themes like voyeurism briefly mentioned

note: ngl, I’m sorry not my best work but I TRIED. Let me know your thoughts it would really help me out a lot. Thank you for reading.xx

masterlist || prompt list

Kim Mingyu - Marketing Director

The nameplate on the door sends a shiver up your spine, knowing that the man you had accidentally pulled in for a drunk kiss the night before during the weekly company bonding dinner, was sitting just behind the door. He was pissed, had pushed you away, made a big deal in wiping his mouth with the back of his hand in disgust. Causing you to sober up quickly and regretting it.

It’s no secret that God had taken his sweet time when creating Kim Mingyu Marketing Director of GoSe Enterprises. He put all the Greek Gods you spent your free time reading about to shame. You’ve been crushing on him since he sat in the cubicle next to yours for years. The two of you had developed a nice easy-going friendship. He was sweet, funny, and always offered amazing advice, both on personal and professional matters. You were practically head over heals for him.

Then the promotion came, granting Mingyu with an office on the southside of the company building. Huge windows overlooking the city below, and the office. A nice fancy gold nameplate with his new job description underneath it. Naturally, the two of you grew apart, ripped from one another without a warning. He was no longer rooting for you and your ideas. Instead, he was the one turning down all your project proposals. He was the one assigning you the revision tasks he knew you hated doing. He was the reason for the random spikes of anxiety throughout the workday. He was no longer your friend, he was your supervisor. His soft demeanor and fleeting touches were nowhere to be found. Lost amongst piles of paperwork surrounding his desk. 

You took a deep breath holding your laptop close against your chest, eyeing the nameplate on the large dark wooden door that took your Mingyu away from you a year ago. You were nervous. He only ever called you down to his office if you had a proposal revision due, which this time you didn’t. 

The last idea you had pitched two weeks ago was turned down before you could finish your sentence during your first PowerPoint slide. He didn’t even give you the chance to improve it, simply said, “trash it, it’s not worth wasting your time when it’s not a plausible option.” So, the only other option left and the one that made sense was your slip-up the night before. He had called you down to ask for your resignation letter for breaking company policy. 

“If you keep staring at the door it won’t magically open,” Chan spoke next to you making you jump. “I’m just saying.” He shrugged sheepishly and opened the door, walking in with confidence. “Mingyu I have the copies you asked for.” 

You filed in after him, situating yourself close to the wall and by the door, while Mingyu instructed Chan on where to set down the copies. Your heart was beating rapidly against your chest, watching as the two of them laughed about some inside joke they had. The anger along with jealousy boiled with fever deep within you. 

This was the problem. Mingyu had only changed when it came to you. With everyone else he was the same Mingyu you once had the pleasure of knowing, and that not only confused you but it made you angry. “Are we still on for guys' night this friday?” Chan asked the older male pointing finger guns at him. 

“Yes, of course, drinks are on Seungcheol this time, which makes my wallet really happy.” Mingyu clapped Chan on the back and led him towards his office door. “Same bar with the cute bartender?” He emphasized, his angry gaze falling on you for a second. 

Subtle you silently scoffed rolling your eyes, holding your laptop as close to your body as humanly possible.If he didn’t make his distaste towards you obvious by his reaction last night, he surely made it painfully clear just now. 

“That’s the one.” Chan nodded, sending you a pitying look, one you didn’t need. You knew you were fucked. 

Everyone knew about your painful crush on Mingyu. Everyone had seen you grab the collar of his dark maroon shirt last night and plant a wet alcohol filled kiss against his lips. Everyone had seen the way he reacted, yanking his suit jacket off the back of his chair and walking out of the bar pissed. So, you didn’t need the various pitying looks you were getting since the moment you walked in that morning.

“Alright then I’ll see you then, don’t forget to turn in your proposal by tomorrow night, Jeonghan keeps bugging me about it.” 

Chan sighed, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand, “shit, I’ll have it done by tomorrow morning.” He said quickly before speed walking back to his cubicle. Leaving you alone to face the problem you had caused. 

Mingyu laughed lightly, shaking his head as he shut the door to his office, “I knew he forgot.” He mumbled before straightening his back, the scowl you were used to seeing appeared on his face once again. He walked past you to his desk, taking a seat next to his name plate. You stayed put, looking down at the floor, only counting the tiny dust bunnies that were visible to your eye. 

Mingyu cleared his throat, “We need to talk about what happened last night.” 

You raised your head pushing yourself off the wall and walked to him. Stopping behind one of the leather chairs in front of his desk. “Don’t need to, It’s my fault for breaking company policy. I’ll hand in my resignation letter to Jeonghan tonight.” You kept your eyes trained on the skyscraper reflecting through the window behind him. Anything was better than looking at him right now. 

He sighed, running a frustrated hand across his face. He pushed himself away from his desk and took a step forward. “I didn’t call you in here to ask you to resign.” 

Confused, you tore your eyes from the building behind him and looked at him. The bags under his eyes that had started to form from lack of sleep and overwork were now more prominent than before. It made you wonder if he hadn’t slept last night because of you, but then you remembered the huge project he was currently working on, so you casted that thought aside.

“Oh then...I-umm, why am I here?” 

“Do you have any idea the position you put me in last night?” He furrowed his brows, placing a knee down on the chair in front of him. He leaned his forearms against the back of it, closing the distance you purposely kept between the two of you. 

You took a step back, scrunching your nose, “I don’t understand. You don’t want me to resign. If I’m not getting penalized then why am I here?” You dropped your arms in defeat. “If you called me in here to tell me you’re not interested in me, you don’t have to. I already know.” You finished swallowing the lump that had formed at the back of your throat. 

“That’s the problem.” Mingyu pointed an accusing finger at you before retreating it. “I am interested in you, more than interested in you. I have strong feelings for you and I can’t act on them because I don’t want everyone to think that I favor you, because I do.” 

I’m dreaming, you thought pressing the palm of your hand against your heated forehead. You had to be dreaming, life has never been this giving to you, “wait I’m confused...you ran out last night, literally pushed me away, disgusted. Do you have any idea how that felt? I had to sit down and face our co-workers with a fake smile on my face because I didn’t want them to see me cry.” 

Mingyu’s face softened, he gripped the back of the chair hard enough for his knuckles to almost turn white. “I know and I’m sorry but if I had stayed then I would’ve kept kissing you. You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to do that.” He dropped his head releasing a shuddering breath. “Every time we stayed here working over time, the only thing I could think about was how easy it’d be if I just leaned over a little more and kissed you. No one would be around, no one would see, it would just be our little secret. But the stupid company policy always seemed to find it’s way into my head and I never let myself cross that boundary.”

“Mingyu w-why are you telling me this now? Even if we have feelings for one another, my job is important to me and I don’t want to risk getting fired because we’re together.” You blinked rapidly, now was not the time to cry. You could cry later in the communal bathroom across the hall, or on the bus ride home, just anywhere but here. 

“Well,” Mingyu rounded the corner of the chairs and made his way to you, finally closing the distance. “I talked to Jeonghan -”

“Wait you told him we kissed?” You were sure your eyes were bulging out of their sockets as the realization hit you. Of course, Mingyu wasn’t going to fire you, he was saving himself the burden and having Jeonghan do it for him. 

He chuckled, placing a hand against your hip making you jump, “Just how drunk were you last night? Jeonghan was there when it happened. He called me and threatened to fire me for leaving you the way I did.” He whispered, circling his arm around you and pulling you close, making you stumble from the sudden impact. “H’said, fuck company policy and that I was stupid for following it when no one does.” 

“Wait are you saying th -” 

“Yes we can be together as long as we keep our work and personal lives separate, so, no sex in my office.” 

You gasped hitting his chest lightly, this lewd side of Mingyu was one you had never seen before. Or at least you had but in a much more subtle way. “Well of course, we can’t do that. That was never going to be part of the deal.” The thought of him pressing you against his desk after hours sent a thrilling shiver up your spine. You bit your lip, shaking your head. No, not allowed, focus. 

“Why not? I’ve slept on the couch here a few times. It's pretty comfortable.” He reassured, hooking his thumb in the belt loops of your dark slacks. “And your ass looks so good in these pants, I literally have to make it my mission to not stare.” 

“I’m flattered, I guess. But look around Gyu.” His gaze followed your hand as you waved it around in front of him. “It’s an office with huge windows, everyone can see -” 

He pulled you closer, eloping your body in both of his arms, “so?” He tilted his head to the side, a smirk playing against his lips. You had forgotten how much he liked to tease you. 

“So?” You rolled your eyes, “were you not listening to what I was saying everyone can see.” You emphasized, poking his cheek with your index finger. 

Mingyu bit his bottom lip trying to suppress his laughter. He forgot how easily flustered you could get, especially when he would say something out of pocket to you. Sure, half of the time you would ignore him, sometimes you would simply roll your eyes, focused on whatever you were working on. Other times he would leave you at a loss for words.

“Frankly, I don’t see the problem. We can just wait until everyone goes home and then give whoever is walking by a free show.” He finished raising his eyebrows suggestively at you. 

You rolled your eyes, pushing him away and walked to his door. “I can’t believe you’re already thinking about having sex with me and you haven’t even asked me out on a date or to be your girlfriend.” You pushed his door open and walked out, “the audacity you have Kim Mingyu.” 

He felt panic surge through him, his big mouth getting the best of him once again. “Woah woah wait I was getting there, you didn’t give me the chance to ask.” He followed you out the door, trying to keep up with your hasty steps. Who knew you could walk so fast in heels. 

Once you were at your cubicle you sat down, placing your laptop on top of your desk, waking it up. “Too late, company policy says we have to keep our work and personal lives separate, guess you’re going to have to wait a while.” You look at the digital clock on your desk, “Five and a half hours to be exact.” 

Mingyu threw his head back, frustrated. As much as he enjoyed teasing you, he had forgotten that you were equally as evil if not worse. He had waited to ask you out for more than two years and now that he could, he literally couldn’t wait five and a half hours.

“Friday, after work?” He whispered, covering the side of his mouth with his hand to make it look less suspicious. It wasn’t working.

“What about guys night and that cute bartender?” You smirked, clicking around your computer opening the files you were working on earlier. 

Mingyu took a deep breath and grabbed the back of your chair, swinging it around ripping you away from your computer screen. “Fuck guys night honey, I’m taking you home, cooking you the best meal you’ve ever had and then -” He stopped peaking over your cubicle. Everyone that had tuned in to your debacle, quickly scrambled to focus on whatever they were doing before you and Mingyu walked in. He nodded once before leaning down, his lips close to your ear, whispering, “then I’m going to fuck you against my window so everyone can see that you’re finally mine.” 

You bit your lip to keep yourself from moaning.You put your hand on his chest and leaned in, placing a soft kiss against the shell of his ear. “Kinky, ask me again in five and a half hours.” You gave his cheek a gentle pat before pushing him away, returning your attention to what you were doing. 

Mingyu grumbled, shoulders slumped as he dragged himself back to his office. You stifled a laugh, the butterflies you had once felt for him returning. 

“You know I heard all of that.” Soonyoung spoke, peeking his head into your cubicle, his eyes wide like he had just seen a ghost, or something utterly disgusting.

Fuck! Mingyu! You whined silently before turning to face your cubicle mate. “I’ll buy you lunch if you pretend like you didn’t hear anything.” 

He put a pensive hand on his chin before sticking his hand out for you to shake. “Deal, I suddenly have been overcome with amnesia, whatever happened in the last five minutes I do not remember, that’s only if you promise to also finish revising this project proposal for me.” He waved the large packet of white copy paper in front of you. 

You groaned, “that wasn’t part of the deal we just shook on.” 

He sucked in air, “I don’t remember that.” He pouted. “I have amnesia, remember.” 

“Fuck fine.”

[fantasia-monogram]

Inspection

♥️ Inseong x reader (gender and pronouns not specified, female anatomy)

♥️ Smut (~2k words); I'm back with my quirky nerdy a bit emotionally detached Inseong agenda! Oral sex and fingering, a tiniest little bit of anal play, edging, lightly hinted objectification and somnophilia and, possibly, some elements of medical play (can be interpreted like that). Established relationship. They're both kinky bastards, everything is fully consensual.

♥️ Disclaimer: this is just for fun! I’m not claiming that’s how he is in real life, it’s just my imagination doing whatever it wants. Read at your own discretion.

You certainly didn't plan to wake up before the alarm, but the sound of rustling behind you pulled you out of your well deserved sleep. It was already getting bright outside - despite that, you were about to try your luck dozing off again.

At least until Inseong's arm sneaked around your waist, only to push you snug against his chest.

You hummed in confusion. Inseong? Awake at this hour?

"Shh- You can just doze off. I need to do an inspection on you." His whisper, smooth like silk, brought warmth to the back of your neck.

"Inspection?" You asked, although at this point, nothing coming from Inseong's pretty mouth should have sounded weird or confusing. Especially so early in the morning. "What are you on this time?"

"My brilliant brain. And eight hours of quality sleep," he murmured against the shell of your ear. That was true: last night, he went to bed right after taking a shower, claiming he would only take a short nap. Two hours later, you had no heart to wake him up, so you just snuggled with him and fell asleep yourself.

"Anyway, we haven't seen each other for a couple days… I need to check up on… some vital parts of your gorgeous body." His hand hovered over the front of your briefs. "See if you're cumming properly."

You squirmed in the embrace, unable to hide the jolt of excitement that rushed through your body. That only made Inseong pull you closer.

"Oh no, we can't have you all tensed up during the hole inspection," he cooed with fake sympathy; you couldn't tell if his choice of words weirded you out or made you horny. Probably a mix of both. "You need to relax."

Just as he said that, he moved his hand upwards, letting it slide under your T-shirt. He caressed the skin on your stomach, which definitely wasn't helping you calm down.

He leaned his head over your side. Now, with better access, he left a trail of tender kisses from your temple, all the way down your jawline. You were just starting to relax a little, when his fingers moved down, catching the hem of your underwear.

"The sooner we start, the better. Be nice and follow my instructions, okay?" he asked in a reassuring tone, although you knew he was just pretending. Mere thought of his dirty intentions made you shiver.

He sat up and pushed away the sheets.

"Can you lie on your back for me?"

You nodded and did as he told, your heart beating faster with every moment.

Inseong was in front of you in seconds, sliding your briefs down.

"Okay, now spread your legs wide."

You trembled when cold air hit you between your legs, as you hesitantly fulfilled the order - or maybe it was just because you felt so exposed. Inseong, not wasting any more time, nestled himself comfortably, leaning on his elbows. He moved his face dangerously close to your pussy; you could feel his breath on your skin.

After a while of just observing intently, he spread your labia with his fingers, using the thumb of his other hand to press your clit in a little circle. You grasped the sheets beneath you, holding back a moan.

All that anticipation was driving you crazy, even though he was touching you without any kind of lubrication so far.

"Oh, okay. Correct reaction."

Inseong's voice was steady and almost neutral despite the situation you were in; he still didn't bother to look away, either. Another circular motion of his thumb had you writhing, but you didn't make a sound - that is, until he grazed another finger through the slit of your entrance, making you whine at the brief contact.

You decided to peek, only to see him observe his now wet index finger. Then, he licked it clean.

To say you were all fired up would be an understatement.

"That's better." He returned to his earlier position. "But still not enough."

He made brief eye contact with you, probably just to make sure you can see everything well. Lining his face right above, he let a streak of saliva drip from his mouth onto your clit.

Your body jerked as the liquid hit your swollen bud, the roll of it through your skin almost agonizing. Inseong, still in character, watched it flow leisurely, until the last drops disappeared between your cheeks.

You swore your revenge after you were done. This amount of teasing was truly criminal.

Next moment you had to drop your threats, though, because Inseong nonchalantly brought some of your wetness up and started massaging your bud properly - all of that with his eyes still focused on his ministrations.

Yes, you were basically reduced to your pussy. Yes, it was turning you on like hell.

The movement was definitely too slow to be satisfying, so when clenching around nothing gave you no relief, you let out a couple strangled, high pitched whines.

Inseong picked up your clue, though not without putting his own twist into it.

"I suppose we're done with the preparation," he stated calmly. "Time to start the actual inspection."

That bastard. He was just playing around all that time.

He carefully pushed a single finger into you - and you could clearly tell it was the middle one, because once it was all in, its tip rested right on your sweet spot.

You tried rotating your hips to get some pressure you craved so much. Inseong immediately withdrew, no more than a centimeter or two, making you cry out from sheer frustration.

"Everything seems to be fine on the inside, too." Inseong murmured. You could hear a devilish smirk in his voice.

You were looking to the side, not wanting to show your eyes were glazed over with tears, but you caught Inseong sitting up straight with the corner of your vision. He was staring right at your face.

No, you couldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing you so worked up.

As if he read your mind, he put his hand on your knee, spreading it further. Still staring at you, he started pulling his finger out as slowly as it was humanly possible. You were so swollen and sensitive already that the deliberate, agonizing movement was making you lose your mind.

Inseong chuckled. He was clearly enjoying it.

You thought he was done teasing and would just peacefully bring you to climax, but he had something else in mind.

Daring to look at what's happening, you saw him finally pulling the finger out, a long streak of your juices sticking to it. You could swear you blinked for a mere second - only to get startled by your own sharp gasp as Inseong pushed three fingers at once into you, the slide easy thanks to all the wetness.

Oh God, the fullness was heavenly after all the teasing.

Keeping his eyes on you, Inseong started pumping his fingers in and out at a relentless pace. At the same time, he kept rubbing your clit with his other hand.

He might have sucked at physical activity, but his hand coordination was out of this world.

You covered your face with your arm to drown in the intense sensation; at this point, you didn't care - you screamed, unable to handle the delightful stretch in a collected way. Soon enough, your cries dissipated into quick breathy moans, a tell-tale sign you were close.

That's when Inseong abruptly removed his fingers, once again leaving you empty. You let out another scream; this time, out of frustration.

"For fuck's sake, just let me cum!" You hit the bed with your fist.

Inseong laughed out loud.

"What? Are you kidding?" He laid down on his stomach. "We still have another hole to inspect."

You went quiet immediately. You brought up this topic a couple of times before. Was he actually going to do it now? A shiver took over your body.

Inseong pressed his middle finger against your clit hard enough to elicit a choked gasp from you. He started moving it down, coating it well with your juices. Once he passed below your entrance, he licked his lips and leaned in to press them on your clit.

You couldn’t control the sounds coming out of you anymore when he put his mouth and tongue to work, literally making out with your pussy - slow kisses, licks and warm huffs of air turned you into a mess in no time. The feeling was so overwhelming you almost forgot about his finger that was going lower and lower down your crack.

You held your breath when you felt it touch your other hole.

Inseong stopped for a moment. He swallowed theatrically. What a show off.

“I need your consent for the final part of the inspection.” He was dead serious.

“G… go on…” You mumbled, surprised at how hoarse your voice has gotten.

With that, Inseong’s tongue swirled on your skin again, and his finger mirrored the movement. His oral game, as amazing as always, distracted you for a moment; he increased the pace, and you decided to focus on the sensation.

Then, you felt the pad of his finger push a little, and your mind was gone.

Your orgasm hit at the slightest breach through your rim; you came hard, practically wailing, shocked by the intensity. It lasted longer than usual as well, so that when you were done, you could barely get yourself back together.

“Oh God… Oh God, what was that…” You wondered, completely out of breath. Stunned and confused, you sat up.

Inseong’s shirt was soaked all around the collar, not to mention he was wiping his chin with a sleeve.

“I give it an 8 out of 10 score, just because of squirting. Didn’t get to inspect the other hole properly.”

You smacked his shoulder, although it was more like a weak pat considering your physical strength just leaked out of you.

Quite literally.

Inseong’s only reaction was surging forward to pin you to the mattress with his body. He pressed his lips against yours, letting you taste yourself on his lips. You didn’t mind it; you both loved being a little messy anyway.

"I love you so, so much. I'm sorry I called your cunnie a hole," he said, breaking the kiss. You shook your head at his remorseful expression; he always gave such cute nicknames to your intimate body parts that this one time wasn't an issue for you at all.

He embraced you tightly, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

“Hey, sir, I think we have one more inspection to do,” you giggled, feeling a half-hard bulge poking your thigh through Inseong's shorts.

No answer came. You pulled away from the embrace as much as you could, locked by Inseong's tall frame.

The boy was asleep already, resting his head on your shoulder, a carefree smile on his lips.

You sighed and patted his hair fondly. Well, sometimes it was all about him giving you pleasure you deserved, rather than trying to chase his own. Having you blissed out under him would feed his (bigger than expected) ego just enough.

Actually, it was one of the things you loved the most about your relationship - right after Inseong's unusual quirks and kinks, that is.

[pascalpanic]

Burning The Midnight Oil (Javier Peña x gn!Reader)

Summary: Javier has been burning the candle at both ends. He just needs some rest. Luckily, you’ve got your husband covered.

W/C: 3.4K

Warnings: oh boy um. language, non sexual nudity, brief sexual jokes/innuendo, lots of talk of sleep deprivation bc that’s a plot point here, brief mentions of alcohol and guns (maybe once each), mostly talk of food/eating, eating meat/pork (Javier does, not reader) otherwise I’d say it’s fluffy for the most part

A/N: ☄️ anon, god bless your soul for this idea!! I really love it so I banged it out in one night and here we are!!

You haven’t seen your husband in days. You know he’s exhausted, only ever showing up at home when you’re off at work. It’s a terrible situation, the only contact you’ve had with him being at odd hours over the phone.

The DEA has been all hands on deck this week, requiring their men to be there at all times unless they’re at home and sleeping; even then, they only get about six hours off at a time, many of them too wired to sleep. Javier only gets to come home every other day, usually during the middle of the day. He’s been staying up for a dangerous amount of time, in your opinion, leaving you just about ready to find the heads of the cartel and beat their asses yourself.

During the work week, you can’t complain. You have no right to. You knew when you and Javier had eloped and married that the man’s job was a baggage you’d be forced to carry as a couple. You normally didn’t mind, but when it goes into the weekend, that’s when you get mad. Not just that you don’t get your husband at home with you, but that he doesn’t get to be home. He deserves it. Javier hardly relaxes during the weekends, and essentially does not relax on weeknights until he’s fallen asleep with his head on your chest.

Saturday found you running errands, expecting Javier home by midday at the very latest. Returning home with a pep in your step and finding no Javier there, your mood and smile fell instantly. It’s Saturday; your husband should be home. They should be letting them go home, you thought angrily as you took your anger out by chopping the vegetables to go into your dinner. Surely Javier will be home by dinnertime.

Nothing. 6 P.M., 7 P.M., no Javier, just a dinner growing cold and your heart sinking. You knew Javier had got his break yesterday, and had been in the apartment while you worked, but a slightly rumpled bed was the only evidence he was even there.

At 8, you walk to the phone and dial the DEA office, specifically Javier’s extension.

Your husband picks up and his voice wrecks your heart. “Peña,” he mumbles, his voice crackly. It sounds like his morning grumble after a long night of sleep next to you.

“Javi,” you coo, heart breaking. “Baby, when are you coming home?”

Javier perches on the edge of his desk, phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder. “Fuck, cariño, I don’t know,” he admits, rubbing his face. “I just woke up, I got an hour nap in the break room office. We have to keep going. We’re so close, I can tell.”

You understand his desperation, but you know exactly what he looks like now, a stubble growing thanks to his time away from home, his eyes bloodshot and drooping. His hair is probably messy and his shirt is probably all wrinkly; you’re absolutely certain he’s holding a mug of the sludgy black coffee the office brews. He’s most definitely the picture of exhaustion, and even though you can’t see him, you know your husband. He is a wreck. “I can let Saturday slide, but you’re coming home tomorrow, I don’t care how long. I need to see you and you need to be taken care of.” “I’m doing just fine,” Javier shakes his head and you can hear a flick of a lighter as he’s most likely lighting a cigarette.

“You’re not, and don’t try to pull that card with me. I know you. You’re a disaster; I can tell from your voice. You haven’t eaten and you haven’t slept and you can’t deny it. I want you home as soon as you can tomorrow, you got it? Don’t you even fucking dare try it, Javier Fernando Peña.”

The full name: ouch. He sighs and exhales the cigarette smoke, then takes a sip of his coffee before answering you. “God, I fucking love you,” he chuckles softly. “Okay.”

Another sign of Javier’s exhaustion: how easily he gives in. Javier is a stubborn man, but over your years together he’s learned that you’re just as hard to budge. When both of you are set, neither of you can be moved. Your sarcasm and wit and willpower was what drew him to you in the first place; Javier could never have a compliant, submitting partner. He’d be a mess. He needs you to ground him, he knew and still knows it. It’s why you’re married now.

“I love you too, handsome. Call me before you come home, okay baby? I want to be awake for you,” you say, a soft smile on your face. Your voice is much warmer, less jagged and rough.

It’s the way you always get Javi, the thing that makes him melt the most: when you’re snapping one second and gentle the next. God, he fucking loves you. You understand him, you don’t question him when he comes home and doesn’t speak. You read him and then you hold him, and all of his fears dissipate with his calming breath. “Okay. I love you,” he repeats again, more earnest and purposeful. He wants you to know it; he worries you haven’t felt it in the past week. It’s also another sign of his exhaustion.

“I love you too, Javi,” you remind him as you chuckle and stand. “Don’t fall asleep on the job. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Javier groans and cracks his neck after hanging up, sliding the typewriter back to the beginning. Just a little longer, he tells himself, then he gets to come home to you.

-

The phone rings around 5 in the morning, waking you from a restless slumber. The sun is just starting to rise, making the sky lighter and colorful from its previous midnight blue. Knowing Javier would be calling, it was impossible for you to sleep fully, leaving you in a dozing state more similar to a daydream than to any form of REM.

“Hello?” You answer with a groggy voice, hoping it’s Javier. Who else could it be, at this hour on a Sunday morning?

“Hey, dulzura,” Javier sighs into the phone. “I’m packing up my shit now. We didn’t get Escobar, but we got one of his big guys late last night. They’re bringing in some Search Bloc guys and giving us tomorrow off.”

You nearly cry in relief at his words, making a noise between a sigh and a squeal,  heavy and happy. Javier laughs softly at your noise of relief, allowing himself to smile. His vision is hazy from the lack of sleep, but he’ll be cognizant enough after this last cup of coffee kicks in. “Get your ass home, Javi,” you tell him with a voice just as sleepy as his own. “You got an ETA for me?”

There’s a moment of silence as he looks at his watch. “5:45.”

Your eyes haven’t even opened yet, and you finally let them as you look at the clock. That’s soon, really soon, and it makes your heart speed up a little as your body forces you awake. “Great. I’ll see you then. Drive safe. If you’re too tired-”

“Steve will not be driving,” he cuts you off with a grumble. It makes you giggle a little, his adamance that Steve could never possibly do something better than him, more competently.

“Just reminding you. I’ll see you,” you tell him and hang up before he can make another sarcastic comment.

He’s glad you hang up so fast. He doesn’t have the brain power for a classic witty retort.

-

Javier goes to unlock the apartment door about half an hour later, but finds that his keys aren’t necessary: you’ve left the door unlocked for him.

He’d be ashamed to admit it to anyone but you, but it really does happen: Javier’s eyes water as he walks inside to the smell of cooking, the stream of soft light through the kitchen window, the sound of soft Sunday morning music drifting from the radio.

You’re at the oven, cooking, and turn when you hear a noise, grinning to see Javier. “Hey, handsome,” you squeal and rush over, wrapping your arms around him.

Javier buries his face in your hair, throwing his arms back around you. You smell fresh and clean, so soft in the fluffy robe he bought you for your birthday a few months ago now. You’re surprised to feel warm water drip from his eyes to your neck, and you pull away with a frown, cupping his face. “Are you okay, love?” You ask, wiping the tears from his eyes.

He nods. “So tired,” he admits and swallows hard. “So glad I’m home. So lucky I have you.”

You have a feeling he doesn’t have the energy to kiss you. Instead, you press your forehead to his and squeeze him tight in your arms. “Okay. I cooked breakfast. You need it. Why don’t you go take a shower?” You ask, breaking away and rubbing his arms.

He shakes his head. “My arms feel like lead. I don’t know if I can even wash my hair,” he admits, his voice a low rumble from his chest. “Just let me sleep, baby.”

“I’ll come with you, then,” you offer, already unbuttoning his shirt and working it off of him purely for comfort. You know your way around your husband’s body by now. You could unbutton his shirts blind; in fact, you have. “Come on, cariño,” you murmur and pull him along to the bathroom by the side of an unbuttoned shirt.

Once in the bathroom, Javier blinks and squints at the bright vanity lights, overwhelmed. You turn on the shower, the bathroom filling with warmth as the water heats and steam fills the air. Even in his tired state, Javier loves to undress you. He tugs the belt from your fuzzy robe, sliding it off your shoulders and tossing it on the counter. You then strip off your respective clothes, and you’re the first to step into the stream of the warm water.

Javi doesn’t have to say anything; you can tell his thoughts from your gaze. His eyes rake your body, taking in the sight of his most beloved person on the planet in all of your naked glory. He climbs in after you, and you grab a bar of soap and get to scrubbing, covering all of Javier’s body with the cucumber-scented suds. He leans his head back against the shower wall, loving your warm hands and the hot water. If he wasn’t standing, if his back wasn’t aching so hard, he’d fall asleep here and now. He’s never been more blissful.

You rinse his body then work his shampoo into his thick hair, your fingers scratching his scalp and massaging his head. “You’re the fucking best,” Javi mumbles sleepily. You just chuckle and work the soap into his hair, stripping it of the grime and cigarette smoke of the office, until he’s wiped clean, ready to start anew.

Later, you wash yourself and let Javier enjoy the hot stream of the water. He’s so zoned out you can’t even tell if he’s awake. You have to actually check. “Javi, baby?”

“Hm?” He mumbles

“Did you fall asleep on me?” You chuckle as you turn off the shower, which makes Javier frown at the loss of warmth.

“‘Course not,” he grumbles, taking the fluffy towel from you and wiping his face.

After the two of you have dressed in fresh clothes, you sit on the edge of your bed and wait for Javier to finish. He pulls a worn t-shirt over his head, then comes and sits next to you, kissing the side of your head. “You’re so good to me,” he mumbles into your temple.

He goes to flop back but you put an arm around him, catching him. “Excuse me, Agent. I made breakfast,” you chuckle and sneak a kiss from his lips, chuckling at the way his mustache is still a little damp. “When was the last time you ate?”

Javier stares off as he considers it. It takes a while for him to respond. You nod at that. “Exactly. Come on, I made breakfast just the way you like it.”

The food is still somewhat warm when you find your way to the kitchen. Javier loves the local cuisine, always has, but something about an American breakfast makes him weak at the knees. He sits at the kitchen counter and sighs as you hand him a plate of buttered toast. “There’s your appetizer,” you chuckle and head back to the stove. Half-cooked bacon, which you turned off when he came in, sits in a pan, and you turn it back on to finish. You crack a couple of eggs into another pan, making sure they sit just right so they’re the way Javi likes them: fried. You sprinkle them with salt and pepper, humming to the radio as you cook.

The sizzling bacon makes Javier’s stomach grumble. The toast isn’t even that warm anymore, but the carby goodness fills Javi’s mouth and suddenly he’s never felt so ravenous. The two pieces of buttered toast are devoured in a heartbeat.

Bringing him a mug, you pour some coffee and his favorite creamer in. “You’d better tip me later,” you tease him with a wink as you return to the stove, flipping the bacon and putting some onto a plate.

“I will tip you anything you want, I swear,” he murmurs before sipping at the ceramic mug, the warm coffee going down like it’s the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted, warming him from the inside out. The A/C blasts in the apartment, making his dripping hair feel even colder.

In yet another pan, you start pouring the premade pancake mix you’d prepared before he got home. “All of this and the sun is barely up,” He muses, wandering to the other side of the counter and stealing a strip of bacon.

“Quit,” you whine and smack his hand, making the bacon fall back onto the plate. “Your order isn’t ready yet, sir. Stop harassing the cook.” When his arms wrap around you, your defenses fall. “Go sit down,” you say weakly as he kisses your neck.

At least he obeys. Javier sits in his chair and watches you intently, downing his coffee in a short amount of time.

Finally, the feast all comes together, and you present it to Javier on a large plate: bacon, fried eggs, fruit (which you know he won’t eat, but it’s worth a shot), and heart-shaped pancakes. “I wanted to make a pistol, but I’m not super artistic,” you chuckle as you refer to the fluffy cakes on the plate.

Javier shakes his head but smiles. “Thank you, dulzura,” he manages out before he digs in, devouring the plate at a breakneck speed. You’re content to watch, standing across from him. You go to refill his coffee and come back to find the pancakes completely gone.

It doesn’t take much time at all before the plate is wiped clean, the entire thing in Javier’s stomach. Food has never been the biggest concern for him; he skips meals often for work, and you suspect he hasn’t done much more than snack here or there over the past week. His eyes droop even further now that he has a full stomach, and it warms your heart. You’ve got your husband cleaned and fed; now all you need is one last step before you have your beloved Javi back.

“Alright, handsome,” you smile as you drape your arms across his shoulders. “Nap time.”

He can’t deny that. He stands, letting your arms fall off his shoulders. He pulls you around to his front and wraps his arms around you; you know what comes next in this routine. Your feet slide on top of his and Javier walks the two of you to the bedroom, you backwards and being led by him. Javier is not an overly affectionate man: kisses and sex, primarily, hugs if one of you really needs it. This is his one little act he insists on, since you don’t let him carry you.

As you waddle along, you kiss along Javier’s jaw, giving him all of the affection he missed out on in the past week. When you finally enter your bedroom, you stop as you feel the backs of your calves against the bed. You know this routine all too well. It’s usually reserved for when Javier can’t get his hands off of you, when you desperately need him on top of you, surrounding you, kissing your neck. “Wait,” you murmur and step off of his feet, going to pull back the covers.

You return to the end of the bed, standing on top of his feet again. “There,” you say with a grin, and Javi has no choice but to grin back then kiss you. “Okay, continue.”

Then your routine resumes: you fall backwards onto the bed and Javier falls on top of you. You both grunt with the impact but you smile, wrapping one arm around Javi while the other grabs the sheets and blankets and pulls them over the both of you.

Javi’s cheek is nestled against your chest, listening to your heartbeat, his eyes already shut. “Real cute. Get off of me now,” you tease and nudge his side.

His body beneath yours is all he’s needed, all he’s dreamt about while half-consciously dreaming on the apartment couch. He can feel your chest rise and fall, his head going with it. “No,” he simply mutters, his face squished against the skin encasing your beating heart. “M’comftrble.”

You can’t deny him that, you chuckle, your hands reaching down to entangle your fingers in his dark brown hair, nearly black from the dampness it holds. “Fine,” you sigh, whispering the word to him. “I love you so much, Javi. Missed you. Missed my man.”

“Missed you too, dulzura,” Javi mumbles back, but it’s clear he’s almost already out.

“How long were you up, minus that nap, Javi?” You ask.

He thinks on it for a minute, and you think he might’ve fallen asleep until he responds. “36.”

“Hours?” you exclaim quietly, massaging his scalp. “Baby.”

“I know. Had’ta.”

“Well, you can sleep as long as you need to now, love,” you murmur and kiss his forehead. He makes a soft noise of disapproval. “Just a nap. Wake me in like an hour.”

“Okay,” you lie, knowing you’ll let him sleep as long as his body needs it. “Rest now, baby.”

Javier nods and you exhale deeply, holding his head to your chest. He’s back now, your husband, and you know he’s safe, know he’s healthy and well taken-care of: you did it yourself. His breathing slows. You can feel it against your chest, the way the steady rise and fall becomes slower and slower and you know you’ve won when you hear a soft snore, his parted lips smashed against your chest.

You stay like that for a while, Javier lying on top of you and resting. It’s a comfort to have him pressed against you, to feel your husband’s body and know that he’s here. It’s even better to know he’s resting well, deeply, from the way he slumbers against your body. You intermittently kiss his head, continuing to rub his head in hopes it’ll loosen the tension he’ll surely have when he wakes.

About an hour passes, and you find yourself drowsier and drowsier as the sun rises higher and higher in the sky. Scooting out from beneath Javier, you replace your chest with a pillow to support his face. Rolling him slightly to the side, you cuddle in behind him and spoon him, your arms around him.

The quiet Sunday morning is all too perfect. You drift off too, then wake up an hour or two later and proceed about your household chores. You burn some pretty candles, clean, listen to the radio.

Javier doesn’t wake until 10 P.M. that night, 15 hours after he fell asleep.

Some nap.

-

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[whentommymetalfie]

Home to you -chapter 11

-Interlude one-

Prologue//1//2//3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10

Pairing: Tommy/Alfie

Summary: Esther pays Peter Fairfax a visit 

Warnings: allusions to mental instability, hallucinations, panic attacks, disordered eating, violence.

Wordcount: 1,9 K

Esther sleeps with the door open, these days. And at least once every night, she gets out of bed to take a walk around the house. For peace of mind. She can’t always be there when Tommy needs her, but sometimes she can help. Find him cowering somewhere in a dark corner of the living room, staring with unseeing eyes into the dark, or wandering aimlessly down the corridors, muttering to himself and tapping the pads of his fingers over the side of his head. Sometimes she leads him back to bed, if she can reach through the fog enough to wake him, make sure he knows where he is so he won’t wander off again. If she can’t, she takes him to the kitchen to get some warm tea into him, sits with him until the distant look in those bright blue eyes fade and he blinks at her. Then, she can safely take him back to bed and deposit him in Mister Solomon’s arms. Sometimes he’ll wake, Solomons, at least partly. Blear at her with only one eye open and mutter something about ‘not getting any fucking peace in his own house even at night’, before pulling Tommy close and promptly falling back asleep.

Tonight, the house is quiet, save for the sounds of the sea, the ticking clock and creaking floorboards, and she finds both the hallway and the living room empty. She stops outside the door to the master bedroom for a moment to listen, opening it only when she’s certain she won’t be disturbing anything. The sight of the two figures in bed, tightly entwined and sound asleep, brings a fond smile to her face. And only when she knows he’s safe can she return to her own bed.

When her alarm rings a few hours later, she’s already awake, as most days. Age does come with the benefit of early mornings, which is very fitting for her chosen field. She gets dressed and gets her hair in order, pinning the braids carefully in place to feel ready for the day ahead. She leaves a note informing her employer (but most of all Thomas, seeing as he’s the anxious sort) that she’s gone to run a few errands and will be back in time for breakfast, on the off chance either of them will be out of bed before her return. Then, she sets off towards Peter Fairfax’s farm.

The sun has yet to ward off the night’s chill and a fine layer of mist blankets the landscape, making her walk over to the farm a cold but eerily beautiful one.

Esther raps three times on the door, before stepping inside. The narrow hallway looks much like she remembers. Except bleaker. Time has gnawed away at the house’s interior without anyone trying to stop it.

“Mister Fairfax?”

“Fucking hell-“ The farmer himself shows up at the end of the hallway, wiping his hands on his trousers. A dark bruise colours his cheek and his nose is swollen, but all in all, it could be worse. His eyebrows shoot up and he winces as he comes towards her. “Miss Klein, what are you doing here?” She smiles and hangs her coat up, along with the shawl.

“Please, Esther is fine. And yes, I’d love a cup.”

“What?”

“Tea. I’ve brought you a loaf of bread. Baked it myself.” She steps past him and into the kitchen, putting the loaf on the table before searching for teacups and the like. “You still keep the pot in here I presume?”

Fairfax only blinks at her, bleary eyed and wavering slightly on the threshold.

He doesn’t appear to be drunk, even though a bottle of something is stood on the counter. Fairfax notices her eyes lingering and hurriedly puts it away. She doesn’t make any remarks. What does it help, shaming him for something he’s already aware is causing what’s left of his little family pain?

A minute later, they’re both sat by the table with a cup of tea.

“Are the children still asleep?”

A smile crosses his face and softens his features.  “Oh no they’re already runnin’ about. We just got the first lambs for the season. Impossible to keep them away from the pastures, then.”

“And how are they, the kids?”

“Good. They’re- well, it’s better. Most days.”

She smiles and leaves the subject.  

“So, mister Fairfax, I think you had a visit by my employer yesterday.”

The colour instantly rises on his cheeks. “That fucking mad man? The hell are you doing working for him? I swear I-”

Esther puts up a hand and he snaps his mouth shut.

“I can assure you he’s a perfect gentleman most of the time. And he pays more than well.”

“No price can be worth it, working for someone like that-“

“That’s beside the point. See, I also believe you yourself did something rather regrettable yesterday, didn’t you? Mister Solomons house guest came home in quite a state.”

All that gets her is a thoroughly confused look.

“Blue eyes, dark hair, not very talkative,” she offers helpfully, and watches the colour on his face deepen several shades and his eyes drop to his teacup as he mutters, “He was snooping around my horses.”

“Now, that hardly calls for violence, does it?”  

Fairfax avoids her stern gaze and instead mutters something incoherent around the edge of his teacup. Thankfully she’s had plenty of practice dealing with muttering men.

“See, he’s been through a lot,” she says. “More than anyone should. And it’s left his poor head in quite a state. He’s just begun taking walks on his own. And he loves horses. That’s the whole thing. But he doesn’t do well with strangers, and can’t really talk all that much when he’s scared.” She waits until she receives a faint nod of recognition from Fairfax. “He was very upset when he came home. I’m sure you can understand why Mister Solomons lost his temper.”

Fairfax scratches the back of his neck. “Could’ve fuckin… said something. Instead of comin’ over here and bashing half my face in.”

Esther refrains from pointing out he should be glad that’s all Mister Solomons did, all things considered, and instead says, “I’m sure it’s not all that bad. And to be fair, you did quite a bit of damage to Tommy’s face. And all he did was stand near one of your horses.”

“I couldn’t fuckin’ know, could I?” Fairfax barks. “Could’ve been a horse thief. And we’ve had troubles with fuckin’ poachers. Setting traps that’ll take half your leg off.”

She fixes him with one of her iciest stares. “Did he seem like a threat to you, when you confronted him?”

Wilting back down, Fairfax scratches his beard and glares at the table top. Mutters something unintelligible. She leans forward and cocks her head.

“I’m sorry?”  

“Suppose not,” Fairfax grunts. Esther drinks the last of her tea and sets her cup down.  

“I wanted to come here and clear that up. Because I know that you’re a good man and you wouldn’t knowingly hurt someone so vulnerable. And I don’t want him to be afraid to go out on his own. So, I hope I can tell both my employer and Tommy there will be no further incidents if you happen to see each other.”  

Fairfax nods sheepishly.

“Good. Guess I’ll let you get to your chores.” Esther smiles, gets up and Fairfax clumsily shoots out of his chair, clearing his throat.

“I’ll follow you to the door.”

…

Fairfax’s face has mostly returned to its normal shade when she’s put her coat on and wrapped the shawl around her. He weighs from foot to foot and can’t seem to find a good spot to look at. She best get going.

Esther pats his shoulder. “Take care of yourself now, mister Fairfax.”

He only grunts. But it’s the friendly sort of grunt. She’s learned to tell the difference by now.

Outside, the morning sun has burned away the fog and she sets off down the gravel path, stopping when Fairfax calls after her.

“The horse’s name is Dusty!” He’s stood on the threshold, hand firmly clasped around the edge of the door and not quite looking at her. “And he likes carrots. Just- Yeah.”

And then the door slams shut.

Esther smiles and steers her steps homewards.

…

Unsurprisingly, neither of the men in the house have left the bedroom when she gets home. She leaves them be for another hour before knocking lightly on the bedroom door.

“Yeah?” Mister Solomons grumbles.  

“Breakfast is ready, Sir. Are you both awake?”

She hears a faint mumble which could mean anything. “Sir, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to use words.”

“Yeah, yeah, God, woman, will you let a man start his day in a peaceful manner? But yeah, we’ll be right out. Right fuckin’ out. Don’t fret ‘bout it.”

…

At breakfast, Tommy ignores the porridge and eggs completely, and only picks listlessly at the apple pieces. This further convinces her the visit to mister Fairfax was necessary, but she still waits until Mister Solomons has finished his second cup of tea, before saying: “I had words with mister Fairfax,” Solomons opens his mouth but a firm look is enough to shut him up. Esther focuses on Tommy -frozen in his seat and staring at the table. “He’s very sorry about what happened yesterday. And I’m to let you know that the horse’s name is Dusty and he likes carrots.”

Tommy scratches lightly over the back of his hand with a bitten down thumb nail. Puts his hands in his lap. Puts them back on the table. Clenches his fingers into the worn fabric of his shirt sleeves.

“I don’t think I should go there again.”

They share a look of concern, she and mister Solomons, as they so often do. Alfie reaches out and carefully takes Tommy’s hand away from his head, right before he can start scratching. Tommy pulls away and wrings them together in his lap again.

“I’ll go with you, the first time. How does that sound, eh, treacle? Second time too, if you want me to.”

Tommy glances at Alfie but doesn’t say anything. A moment of full of insecurity that wasn’t there before. And a look of hurt crosses Alfie’s face before he can hide it.  

“I promise I’ll be perfectly pleasant, should he show up. Alright?”

Tommy still says nothing.

Esther turns away. Fills the sink with water and focuses her attention on the dishes. Knows when to not interrupt a fragile moment.

“Tommy, look at me. Just- go on. Look at me. There you go. I promise, right, I fucking promise that as long as he doesn’t hurt you, I’ll be well behaved. I’m there for your sake, not to… fulfil any stupid revenge fantasies. You have my fucking word.”

The silence is long and painful and she’s been washing the same pot for well over a minute when a barely audible answer comes: “Alright.”

The tension drains from the room all at once. She glances over her shoulder, enough to see the pair out of the corner of her eye. Tommy has gravitated towards Alfie. Looped a finger into one of the buttonholes of his waistcoat. Alfie strokes his hair. Presses a soft kiss onto his forehead.

And Tommy finally reaches for one of the apple pieces.

….

[tenthgrove]

Heyoo. Who in la squadra do you think has the comfiest lap to nap on? Like some headcanons of their so/walking up to them and just sliding into thier lap and falling asleep? Who would be the best and who would b the worst? Tysm 🙏

Who has the Comfiest Lap?

La Squadra x Reader (GN), Romantic, SFW

Formaggio- 6/10

Actively encourages it. He loves to have you lie in his lap while he flicks through his phone on the bed or on the sofa. His lap is comfortable enough and very warm (the benefits of good circulation, I guess) but if he’s wearing studded clothing it can be a bit less comfy. He has a bunch of blankets though, if you’re worried about that. The main problem with sleeping on Formaggio’s lap is that he just can’t help himself from talking non-stop, both playful comments about how damn cute you look and remarks about whatever he’s looking at on his screen. If you genuinely need to sleep, Formaggio’s lap might not be the best bet.

Illuso- 5/10

For the first time in his life, wearing a tailored duvet as a pair of trousers has actually had benefits for Illuso. Based on his usual dress-style alone, Illuso has by far the most comfortable lap to sleep on. Being the size and build he is he also has a very broad lap that gives you ample space to lie on, so on physical qualities alone Illuso scores very well. However, he loses out due to his impatience, generally not liking it when you keep him in place like this unless he’s particularly jovial. He has no issue with lying next to you if you want affection, but trapping his legs like this will bore him quickly. He’ll therefore rush you to get off of him, which ruins the moment a lot.

Prosciutto- 7/10

Between his chilled demeanour and love of spoiling you, Prosciutto is a good candidate to pick. His suits are always made of something soft, and if you’re doing this in his bed you’ve got the added bonus of his expensive sheets. His thighs are a bit on the thinner side, but he makes up for it by staying perfectly still for you. He likes to take time to wind down in the evenings, so that’s the best time to ask if you can lie on his lap for a while. As long as he isn’t busy he’ll happily agree. He can talk or he can stay quiet, he doesn’t mind either way.

Pesci- 6/10

He’s very enthusiastic to let you nap on him as he loves any and all intimate time spent with you. His thighs are fairly comfortable and it’s even better if he lays his fluffy coat over them first. He won’t talk much unless you want him to, instead just sitting there and admiring how lucky he is to have such a cute person trust him like this. The thing holding him back from a higher score is that he’s kind of fidgety. He just can’t help it. Sometimes he tries to switch which of his legs is on top, which usually wakes you up. It’s overall a good experience, but slightly uncomfortable due to the shuffling.

Melone- 8/10

If there’s one thing Melone loves it’s pampering you. He’s absolutely delighted when you settle down on his lap. The points he loses for those bony legs are made up for by his impeccable treatment. While you’re there he’ll do your hair, wipe off your makeup, and generally make you feel like an absolute monarch while he tends to you. When he’s done, he’ll lie back, holding you in place with his hands as to not disturb you. Sometimes he’ll fall asleep like that and sometimes he won’t, but either way you’ll be comfortable. Melone would score higher, if he weren’t a bit too chatty while he’s pampering you, making it hard to fall asleep until he does too.

Ghiaccio- 4/10

It can work. You just have to get him in the right mood and the right place. Otherwise however, Ghiaccio will be tense and fidgety from the combined pressure of whatever’s pissed him off today and now having to keep you comfy. He often can’t help himself from going on a tirade while he has you there and although it’s certainly therapeutic to him, it isn’t exactly something you can sleep through. Even if he manages to control himself, his feelings sometimes show themselves through White Album, making the room too cold to sleep him. If you manage to catch him when he’s genuinely calm, the experience goes up to as much as a 7 out of 10. He can be surprisingly affectionate on his best of days.

Risotto- 9/10

So… have you seen those thighs? Man’s built like a god and it’s all to serve you. It’s true that he’s muscular, but when he sits down the fat redistributes to make him surprisingly soft to lie on. He offers shy, gentle pets while you rest and will keep his legs perfectly still for you.He’ll also let you lie there for hours without a qualm, so fuck it, sleep like that every night if you want to. However, Risotto prefers to have you sitting upright in his lap, leaning against his chest. It lets him feel more of your warmth, and also means you can do it while he works at his desk.

Sorbet and Gelato- 11/10

They’ve had years to practice with each other, so of course they know how to make the experience of napping on their laps heaven. Beginning with Sorbet, touch is his love language so he’s always happy to indulge you in letting you sleep on him. He’ll speak to you softly or stay entirely quiet, depending on what you want, and gently caress you if you’re up for it. Gelato may seem less up for the task due to his general fidgetiness but the second your head touches his lap he cuts it out entirely. He wouldn’t disturb you unless the world was ending. For a unique experience you could try lying with you head on one of them and your waist or thighs on the other. Their gentle conversation about how much they love you will have you lulled to sleep in no time.

[jackrrabbit]

it will come back [pt. 2] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader

Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 1] [Part 3]

A/N: Title from the Hozier song—“don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”

Tags/warnings: yandere, violence (not directed toward reader), crying, Shiggy REALLY likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep, non-explicit sexual content. [In later parts: 18+, sex, other stuff]

He—Tomura—keeps visiting.

At first you think it’s because of the free medical care, and you wish you had the spine to tell him to suck it up and go see a professional. After a couple weeks turn into a couple months and his wounds fade into ragged purple scars, though, you start to think differently.

Within a short time Tomura has figured out your work schedule, and he does a decent job of not showing up after your long shifts. The unavoidable consequence of this is that he ends up monopolizing your precious days off, but you come to the realization about a month and a half in that you don’t actually mind. You like it. It’s like spending time with a friend.

Mostly you guys talk. It doesn’t seem like Tomura really has anyone to talk to the way the two of you do, but that’s probably just you projecting. It’s usually shallow stuff—TV shows you like, video games he plays, funny stories from patients you treated. Sometimes when you’re cooking for yourself, you make extra for him. (It happens a lot, actually, and at one point you bring up how much his appetite is costing you and the next time you see him he brings a bag of rice and makes you a porridge that crunches between your teeth when you try to eat it. You can’t finish yours, but he eats an entire bowl and insists that you’re being picky.)

Sometimes he sleeps over on the couch, but he’s always gone when you wake up.

The two of you skirt around the heavier stuff, and you know it’s intentional on his part. You have to resist the urge to ask him about being a villain—he’s all but confirmed it for you, and it’s human nature to be curious, isn’t it? In the same way you can’t help looking at a car crash, you want to poke and prod and find out what it is, exactly, that Tomura does for a living. That part of his life is suspiciously absent from your discussions—if you didn’t know better, you’d think he spends all of his time sleeping and playing games and breaking into your place.

On the other hand, you don’t want to know. Plausible deniability. You can accept criminality in the abstract, but you’ve treated too many victims of the bullshit hero–villain battle to be comfortable really knowing why Tomura avoids public places.

So you don’t ask about it, and Tomura doesn’t tell, and you don’t look up his name. And it’s easy. It’s nice. You’d forgotten what it’s like to come back to a home that isn’t empty.

And then one day when you get off a few hours early from your shift, you stop by a convenience store to pick up some snacks for yourself (hey, you’ve been working hard, you’re entitled to binge a little on foods that you’re afraid to look at the fat content for), and you think, Hm, I wonder if Tomura wants some.

[You: 7:49 PM] > Are you coming over today? [T: 7:49 PM] > Yeah why [You: 7:51 PM] > Getting snacks > Want some? [T: 7:51 PM] > No

[T: 8:12 PM] > When r u coming back to ur place

[T: 8:58 PM] > Hey where are you

[T: 9:39 PM] > (Y/N)?

There’s a man with a gun in the convenience store.

It takes you a second to process at first. You’re standing in the snack food aisle seeking out Oreos and debating the merits of Double Stuf vs. Mega when you catch the mumbled demand and the metallic clicking noise you’ve only ever heard in movies before. It’s a gun—you know that, but your mind dismisses it because it’s ridiculous. Guns are rare in hero society. People don’t go around robbing bodegas at gunpoint anymore.

(You should know better. You work in a goddamn ER. But you compartmentalize, and the crimes you see written across your patients’ bodies stay out of the realm of your personal life because you need them to.)

It’s only when you see the muzzle of a hunting rifle pushed up to the cashier’s sweaty neck that you really understand what’s happening.

You drop to the ground immediately, looking toward the exit but it’s shut and there’s some kind of metal…thing holding the door closed. The cashier mumbles a denial and you can hear him fumble around with the cash drawer for what feels like ages.

It’s real. This is real. You’re in the middle of a robbery. Where are the heroes? Why isn’t anyone doing anything?

God, you’re a hypocrite, cowering behind the aisle divider and waiting for someone to step up while the robber’s demands get increasingly louder and more frantic. He wants money, and the cashier (who, you remember, is a man in his sixties with hands that shake with Parkinson’s when he holds out your receipt) isn’t being fast enough.

“That’s it? There’s no more? Are you fucking kidding me, there’s gotta be a safe or something—“

“No! No, p-please, I’m sorry, this is all I have!”

You cringe, crushing your eyes closed as if that will make it go away. You’re surprised you can hear at all over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.

“Don’t fuck with me old man, I know there’s more! Show me the safe or I’ll blow your goddamn brains out!”

No! You have to do something. You can’t just sit here. You’ve heard plenty of death threats from your patients (not to mention that one from Tomura), and you know the difference between a bluff and a serious warning. Maybe you can catch the robber off guard, try to pull the gun away? You stand up quickly, hoping against hope that you won’t regret this, but in a split second you see that the cashier has the same idea and he’s trying to pull the rifle out of the robber’s hand and—

BANG.

Something warm and wet splatters across your face.

///

Tomura is angry when you get back to the apartment. As soon as he hears your key in the lock he rises from your couch so he can grab your collar with three fingers, jerking your head up to force you to look at him. “Where have you been? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting—“

But he cuts short in the middle of his sentence. Maybe because he sees the look on your face. Or maybe he just notices the traces of blood you haven’t been able to wipe off.

“What happened,” Tomura says. It’s not a question. He adjusts his grip slightly so it’s not quite as punishing, but you hold still anyway.

You have to force your mouth open in order to speak, but when your voice comes out it’s more steady than you thought it would be. “It’s not my blood. There was a robbery at the store. The cashier got shot.”

“Oh.” He releases you and frowns. “That’s it?”

“Fuck you.” You push past him into the kitchen to get yourself a drink with trembling hands. Pantry’s out of shōchū, whiskey will just make you sicker—ahh, there it is. Baijiu. The glug glug glug of the liquor into the glass does nothing to put your nerves at ease, but you pour yourself a double anyway.

“Wait—wait.” Tomura’s hands twitch and rub over his arms like he’s trying to stop himself from grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you. “Calm down. Why are you so upset? Don’t you see this stuff every day?”

You do. You’re an ER nurse. There’s no injury you haven’t seen. But it’s not about the blood. “I...I knew him. The cashier. He was nice. He had a grandkid on the way. I—“ You bite your lip and down the baijiu in one gulp. It burns.

Tomura clearly doesn’t know how to comfort you; probably doesn’t even really know why you need to be comforted. What does it mean that death is so meaningless to him? you wonder. But you need someone to listen to you, clueless or not, and Tomura will have to do.

The baijiu is still bitter and hot down your throat when you speak again. “You know something? Know what they asked me when the heroes finally showed up and pulled us out of there, me and the corpse?”

“…What?” Tomura asks warily.

“They stuck a camera in my face and asked me if there was anything I wanted to say to the hero who saved me. Any words of gratitude I wanted to share,” you spit. Now it’s your turn to feel your hands making fists at your sides. Your fingernails scratch into your palms like the pain can be an outlet for the sudden overwhelming fury spilling over you. “They didn’t save him. They were too late.”

Tomura’s eyes widen, and through your curtain of anger you can tell he’s looking at you in a way he’s never looked at you before. It’s unlike him to even look directly at you, and when he does it’s usually in disinterest or half-sincere irritation. This, though…this is different. He’s watching you like a believer watches a prophet. You can tell—or at least some deep, ugly part of you that you hope is wrong can tell—that he’s trying not to smile.

“I hate this,” you say, and the first tear drips out of your eye and runs down your cheek. It’s awful. You don’t want to cry in front of Tomura. You don’t want to show him how weak you are. But before you can wipe it away, Tomura’s hand comes up and does it for you, smearing the tear over your cheek in a gesture that—for him—is oddly tender.

Then he hugs you.

It’s stiff and awkward, like he’s forgotten how to do it, but the intention is clear. His arms fold around your back, pulling you into his chest while his chin makes its way to rest on your shoulder. He’s leaning into you so deeply that your spine is arched back, and you stagger away from him only for him to step closer again to make up the distance.

“It’s not fair, hm,” he murmurs into your hair. His tone is the closest thing to sympathy you’ve ever heard from him, but there’s an undercurrent of excitement you can’t ignore. “They’re always too late, aren’t they? The heroes… And everyone will watch that video of you thanking the heroes, and they’ll think they’re safe too. They’ll keep going about their lives and think that nothing bad can happen to them because a hero will always be around to save them…but you and I know that’s a lie.”

It takes you a second to recognize the emotion that’s raising goosebumps over your arms while Tomura rubs circles into your back, but when it clicks you shiver because it’s fear. You’ve never really been afraid of Tomura before, even when you should’ve been. Does he realize he’s backing you up with how forcefully he’s pushing himself into you? The backs of your knees hit the arm of your couch and you topple onto it with Tomura following.

He holds himself above you on his hands, legs tangled with yours. His eyes are wild and he’s not even trying to suppress his grin now. You’re trapped lying on your back under him—pinned like a butterfly under glass.

“Get off of me,” you say as calmly as you can.

“It’s all a lie, all of it…” A hand comes up and strokes your cheek, rubbing with two fingers at a stray fleck of blood on your neck. “I’m sorry it had to be like this, but I’m so glad you understand…”

“Let me up now, Tomura.”

He holds still for a long moment—waiting, thinking, considering—and then sits up, still straddling you but loosely enough that you can scramble back away from him on the couch. Your heart is racing, but you try to slow your breaths so he doesn’t pick up on how scared you are.

“Don’t freak out. You’re no fun,” Tomura says, and you exhale a sigh of relief at how normal he sounds. You never thought you’d be so happy about him looking at you like you’re nothing.

“I think you should go,” you say carefully.

He rocks back on his heels and runs a hand through his hair. “Are you mad? I thought I could stay here tonight, like usual. Since I waited for so long.”

“I’m not mad. I just…want to be alone.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone tonight. Not after what you’ve been through.”

Oh, now you care. “Fine. Okay? Fine. You can sleep on the couch.” You’re too tired to argue any more, and you’ve never really been good at convincing Tomura to do anything he doesn’t want to. It’s a miracle he listened to you when you told him to get off you. Considering how often he breaks into your apartment, it’s not like you could keep him out anyway.

So he stays the night. He doesn’t bother you when you take a shower and go to bed, he just lies on the couch in his street clothes. When you wake up in the morning he’s disappeared like he always does, and for the first time since you met him you’re truly relieved that he’s gone.

///

You always thought it would take some level of courage you don’t possess to actually bite the bullet and look Tomura up. To do so would mean saying goodbye to whatever strange relationship the two of you have built over the months, and you’re just not brave enough to risk it.

Turns out it’s not courage that makes you type his name into the search bar. It’s cowardice. You’re lying in bed under the covers when you do it, and the blue-white screen of your laptop is the only light in the room. Your comforter is pulled up almost over your head like it’s a wall that can block out reality.

“tomura”, you enter into the search bar, but you don’t hit return. Instead, you look at the search suggestions.

> tomura shigaraki > tomura shigaraki league of villains > tomura shigaraki decay

Something about it sounds familiar. But you’re not ready. Still, after everything, you’d rather keep your eyes closed. You backspace and snap your laptop shut, and when you do your room is so dark that you think the emptiness might swallow you up.

///

[T: 5:52 PM] > Are u going to be at home tn

[T: 6:14 PM] > Hey check ur phone

[T: 6:42 PM] > Stop ignoring me > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N)

[T: 6:46 PM] 3 MISSED CALLS [You: 6:50 PM] > I’m at work [T: 6:50 PM] > Don’t lie > you finished an hour ago

[T: 7:13 PM] 1 MISSED CALL [T: 7:14 PM] > You said you werent mad [You: 7:15 PM] > I’m not [T: 7:15 PM] > Then stop being a brat > im coming over > ill bring takeout

You’re nervous about seeing him, but in the two weeks since he pushed you down on the couch you’ve found yourself…missing him. Like it or not, he’s made himself a fixture in your life. So when you get home you’re brimming with anticipation, wondering who you’ll get when you open the door—the normal Tomura you’ve come to like over the past few months, or the one from that night. The villain.

But it’s just him. Good old Tomura, laden with plastic bags and containers of greasy fast food for the two of you to gorge yourselves on. You tease him for being cheap and he argues that you’re just a snob and everything seems so normal that you can almost forget the look in his red eyes when he told you that you understood.

Almost.

///

You probably have no idea how good you look when you’re crying.

Of the couple thousand views on the news channel video of your “rescue” from the convenience store robber, at least a tenth are from Tomura. Eventually he just downloads the video onto his computer so he doesn’t have to read the inane comments that the other viewers leave on the webpage. It seems like everyone but him thinks you should feel lucky that you were saved by a hero before the robber could get to you, too.

As always, the public are a bunch of shit-soaked morons. Reading the comments makes him angry, so angry he’s tempted to look into a few of these brainless sheep and see how lucky they feel when they’ve caught the attention of a violent criminal. But that wouldn’t be productive, so he saves the video externally and leaves the news website alone. It’s for the best. Besides, seeing the “views” counter on the website tick up and up by the dozen every time he refreshes is just another reminder that other people are watching this; other people are seeing how delicate and vulnerable and pretty you are with tears spilling out of your eyes and the cashier’s blood sprayed over your clothing.

Thousands of useless fucking NPCs are looking at you just like Tomura is. They’re probably thinking about how sweet you look, just like he is. And they’re probably imagining all the ways they can take advantage of your fragile emotional state, just like him.

You’re too trusting for your own good. Tomura used to think it was a virtue, and it is, but only when it comes to him. Whenever he thinks about how your face is slapped over a dozen different news websites for the whole world to see, he has to dig his fingernails into his neck to keep calm. It’s better when he can just watch the video and pretend he’s the only one seeing it.

And it’s not like not watching the video is an option. Tomura can’t resist your crying face. There’s a point around the three minute mark where your voice breaks in the middle of your statement, and sometimes Tomura skips there in the video just so he can hear that pathetic little sob and replay it over and over and over. Maybe it’s sappy, but Tomura really does feel his heart skip a beat at the way your eyes and nose are rubbed red from your misery.

How fucked up is it that he gets off watching you cry?

Would you be angry if you knew? You probably would, but you put up with so much from him already. Maybe you’d be okay with it if he told you he really and truly tried to hold out. The first dozen times Tomura watched the video, he refused to touch himself no matter how tight his pants got while you choked out your stilted answers to the reporters’ questions, but at this point he barely has to click “play” on the video before he gets hard and takes matters into his own hands.

At the end of the day, it’s your fault. Everything about you is so erotic, from your shaky voice to your pouty, bitten-red lips. Isn’t it completely normal to be aroused while looking at the person you like? And Tomura likes you, he really likes you. He doesn’t have any pictures of you, and with the high definition of the news channel’s video he can see every perfect contour of your cheekbones, every pore in your skin, every glistening wet eyelash.

It’s not that Tomura doesn’t feel sympathy for how upset you are in the video. He does! Not even just sympathy, even—he’s empathetic. He knows exactly how it feels to be let down by the heroes. How dare they tell you you need to be grateful while you’re still trying to wipe brain matter off your shirt? Always too little, too late. It’s not fair.

But if he’s being honest? As miserable as you are, Tomura is happy that you were in the store when that robber came in and that you had to watch a man you knew get his brains blown out in front of you. You need a wake-up call to lose faith in hero society. If you have to suffer some emotional trauma in the process, that seems like a fair price to pay.

And the fact that Tomura gets to jerk off to it? It’s almost like destiny.

➠ [Part 3]

[angsty-omi]

arms tonite

fuckboy!atsumu miya x fem!reader

genre: angst, unrequited love,

cw: suggestive content, swearing, heartbreak

word count: 1.5 k

Different girl every night and no repeats; that was the rule of law Atsumu Miya lived by. Whether it was Asians, Whites, or Black girls he didn’t discriminate. If they had a beating heart and a pussy then he was set. Hearing about these conquests as his best friend, really made you think ‘wow who’s the poor that let Atsumu put his dick in that night?’ And as you would find it, soon enough it’d be you.

Media portrayal of college students, especially in movies, falsely portrayed college students and gave unrealistic ideas of how they live. These media outlets give impractical ideas of what college students are- intense party seekers, people who have all the time in the world, or just lazy nonworking students who revolve everything around their social lives. This was, by all means not true.

You, and many other diligent college students, can attest to this. The heavy number of finals and research papers due would soon drown you in your sleep. To prevent you from feeling overwhelmed, you always went to him. The one person who could talk your ear off, which though annoying, kept your mind off things, Miya Atsumu. See, Atsumu had the ultimate college experience. The ones that occurred on screen, the ‘intense party seeking’ events where somehow your invite was always lost in the mail. Every Wednesday, you’d always fit him into your schedule for brunch, which mostly consisted of him talking about the ‘new freshman babes’ at the Inarizaki Frat House, and you lived vicariously through him, not because you were envious of his lifestyle, rather, you were just interested in what could’ve been. 

“Did you get that Y/N?” Your thoughts were interrupted.

“U-uh, yeah! Of course, I did.” You tried playing it off, but Atsumu could see right through you. He knew all your mannerisms, for example, when you bite your lip, it’s a sign that you’re prepared for a big change or if you handball your T-Shirt, you’re feeling insecure. He could tell you had something weighing in on you, but he decided to ignore your blatant lie and wait for you to tell him.

“So, are you gonna tell how you’ve been doin’?” He lightly asked. 

“Yeah, uh life has been hard for me… I guess. It’s just that- with all these finals I am feeling so overwhelmed,” you buried your face in your hands to attempt forgetting about school. Knowing Atsumu, he would just drown out your sorrow, or so you thought. You continued, “I can’t eat, sleep, or you know-,” not even acknowledging the fact you just referred about your inability to get off. Atsumu became was suspiciously quiet. 

“What,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “Nothing, Nothing,” he shook his head, chuckling.

 “No, seriously what’s so funny?”

“You really want to know?”

“Yes.”

“Ya’ reeeaaaallly want to know?”

“I said yes already, just spit it out,” you irritated with anticipation. 

“I could help your little issue down there,” Atsumu grinned. Studying? When has Atsumu Miya ever wanted to study with you? The only reason he got into this school was because  he was a D1 athlete. Unless, he turned a new leaf and he chose a path where you don’t slap a ball back and forth because quite frankly you thought that it was risky caree- Oh. That little issue. “You’ve got to be kidding, I would never,” you felt offended. It wasn’t that he was ugly, it was quite the opposite. He had a charming personality, while also being built like a Greek God, and with a face like that it’s no wonder these girls fall for him. However, you felt too prideful to sleep with him. Sure, you may have some underlying feelings for him that you shut down deep inside, but you didn’t want to be treated like a human toy. So, that thought was always out of the question.  

“Never say n-” He was interrupted with his corny ringtone.

“Hello?... Yeah, I’m free, right now… Alright, see you then.” 

Atsumu always did this, it was like clockwork. He’d bail on you when you clearly were in distress and he could not even prioritize time to listen. He even, left you with the check. Sure, he’d Venmo you afterwards, but it still hurt nonetheless. On the walk back to your dorm, your thoughts were full of cursing Atsumu out for always bailing on you. Holding it in for so long only lasted you so much before you exploded. 

That night, Atsumu came over, not even expecting your wrath. 

An hour in, and he still couldn’t understand your argument. “Atsumu, if you could just.. I don’t know- not bail on me? Cause you know, it’s common courtesy!” You exclaimed. 

“Dude, it was literally just a few times, I don’t know why you’re getting so upset?”

“Upset? Upset? Upset is an understatement. How would you feel if I dropped you for some dick?”

“Like that would ever happen. C’mon, Y/N, you’re acting like my girlfriend and I’m uncomfortable.” He blurted, frustrated that this argument has lasted almost two hours. He just rejected you, and you didn’t even get the chance to even address those feelings. 

“Get out.”

“You know I didn’t mean it that way.”

“I don’t care, get out.” You wiped a treacherous tear from your eye. You opened the door, and gestured him to leave. But, he just stood there. Moving over to him in tears, you tried to push him out. Your measly arms were incomparable to his toned abs that he’s built since high school. He grasped your arms, and for a moment you could feel his padded thumb, wiping your cheek. Your faces were only a few inches away. This was your chance to get a taste of him, before he turned into a stranger. You leaned in his lips.

The lack of return made your heart drop. You let go and rambled with apologies,“I-I’m so sorry. Look, I-” He shut you up with another kiss, more passionate than yours. “I told ya’ I could fix that little issue of yours.”

The morning after, you woke up with your body aching in pain. Drool all over your chin, and in disgust, you wiped your mouth and skimmed your calendar. ‘The biomedical final isn’t at 10, it’s at 8-’ whispering to yourself. Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. Then, you slowly gazed at your alarm clock, ‘7:57 AM’ it read. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” you screamed to yourself. Without thinking, you dashed out the door and sped to the testing center. At the entrance, your professor met eyes with you. “Testing entry is closed, I thought you were better than this, Y/N.” Scolding you up and down. I only missed the final by a couple of minutes, why is she shunning me? You thought. But before you could continue, you looked down. There you were, love marks all over, in your panties and an oversized T-shirt to top it off. 

You rushed into your dorm, to find the vampire who did this to you. The universe was seemingly against you once more, because on your way over to your bedroom, you slipped on a textbook. How ironic. The loud slam woke him up, making him sit upright. “Oh my God Y/N are you okay?” He said with a concerned look on his face.

“Why the fuck are you still in my bed?” 

“Well if you wanna know the details-” He smirked, “No no no, I’m okay,” you interrupted him. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand what went on. 

You felt blood drip on your upper lip. Both of you just stared in shock. Immediately, he swiped you up, bridal style, and plopped you onto the sink. He stood in between your legs, soaking your nose with numerous amounts of toilet paper. There was a comfortable silence in the air. You know, Atsumu was quite beautiful with his mouth closed. The way the sunlight accentuated his sharp features, with his eyes reflecting a shade of light hazel. In an impulse, you pecked his lips and to your surprise, he reciprocated. 

It’s been a month since you’ve been hooking up and it’s become your new normal. As a small treat, you wanted to do surprise.

Prior to this dynamic, as best friends you always had a spare key, which his twin brother made sure of because Atsumu was forgetful. As tacky as it was, you were wearing a trench coat, that covered your bright red two-piece lingerie underneath. Silently twisting the knob, you walked into to his bedroom. The apartment was still clean, signaling that he wasn’t home. In which, gave you enough time to position yourself on his bed. After many awkward attempts of seductive positions, you chose the cross-over leg at the edge of his bed, which accentuated your hips. 

You heard his front door open, and his loud voice gave you the signal. You felt relaxed, but it wasn’t until you heard another voice. High-pitched and fruity, it was one of those voices you could tell it’d belong to a pretty girl. You panicked, and mentally scolded yourself for pushing Atsumu to go with a minimalist aesthetic for his bedroom, which left nowhere to hide for you. The knob was opened slightly, where only he could see you. Eye contact was made, and he immediately slammed the door shut. 

There was a muffled, “Hey! uh- my room is kind of dirty right now. Let’s go over to yours.” And after, hearing the front door shut, you assumed she complied. In awe, you mentally kicked yourself over and over again. You took off your attire immediately walking into your bedroom, it burned your skin with insecurities and embarrassment. So much for putting yourself out there. Although, what hurt the most was the way his eyes were full of disgust when he saw you.

That night, he knocked at your door. You opened it, thinking it was your food.

Your heart was beating rapidly, because just an hour ago you made a whole scheme of routes to take without seeing him. You coyly responded with, “you’re not my DoorDash,” and tried to close the door. But he blocked it.

“We need to talk,” he said in the most serious tone you’ve personally ever heard from him. How could those words scare you when you’re not in a relationship.

“What was that shit you pulled earlier?” He irritated. You felt so small under his gaze.

“I thought it would’ve been nice,” you mumbled. “Nice? That girl was the president of one of the most notorious sororities. She could’ve seen you.” He yelled, continuously blaming you. The way he viewed her, would never be the way he saw you. You were just a friend who needed a favor, not someone he actually wanted to pursue.

“You know what? Fine, my fault. Sorry that I ruined it, sorry that I showed up, sorry that I even planned it, sorry I ever thought that you saw me more than just a skank, sorry I even called you over that night, and finally, sorry for ever loving-” it just slipped out. His eyes widened, “Finish that sentence, Y/N. If I knew-”

“Knew what? Knew that I loved you, you wouldn’t have gotten involved? Yeah, well it’s too late. You know what? Just get out. I never want to see you again, Miya,” you sobbed, tears flowing down your face freely. Pounding your fists against his chest. His immobility gave you a small sliver of hope.

“I’m not ready, Y/N. I can’t give you what you want.” Conflicted, unbeknownst whether he was talking to you or himself. “But we can still be friends.”

That sentence was the nail in the coffin.

“It hurts to even look at you Atsumu.” Your voice cold. For someone that could read you so well, why did he think that would save your relationship? “I’ll.. be on my way then.” He slowly got up, and turned the knob. Selfishly enough, he made one more glance at you. He embraced this last glance. Did you know you were beautiful? Even with snot, running down your nose. Of course, you didn’t look back, you were too focused on biting your lips.

Atsumu’s face went pale. He knew what sign that meant. And the change was him. You were really set on ghosting him. With the door closed and Atsumu leaning on it, he couldn’t help to question why that made a pang in his heart.