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installed a fresh SSD, a fresh windows, and like, holy shit this is awful lol this is just a comedy of errors at this point

i've still got the old ssd connected which was throwing errors out the ass and I can't tell if it's that or some other startup program (or malwarebytes, seems to be the most common issue) causing windows to crash on start until it unloads the asinine profile login page telling me to Go To The Next Level With AI

the windows profile on that old ssd straight up nuked itself, so now I've got ownership permissions issues that i can't even grant because if I launch the ssd as a boot drive it has zero documents, most of my installs are gone, and the actual important thing I forgot to save prior to the clean install, all my bookmarks and browser history >:( i think my custom-bundled photoshop brushes too but that doesnt matter bc photoshop 2020 UNLOADS all my tools as soon as i close and reopen it. and also closing it doesn't end the process and i end up with a huge list of Photoshops clogging my task manager

also the win11 snipping tool is..... bad? it looks so nasty lol

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my wife

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one of my favorite books as a kid was this one on speculative zoology/evolution that I loved so much I borrowed it to the point my school had to chase me up on returning it several times. it influenced my early creature art and design and pushed me to delve into my own specbio (on dragons. no surprises there). I loved the informatic entries, all their little lore bits and ecological adaptations; the wild color palettes, their weird little shapes. it was called The New Dinosaurs, by Dougal Dixon.

there were two more books in the series that my school didn’t have, which is either a blessing or a curse, because the third book in the set is called Man After Man.

which contains this.

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Big ol post of all the assets for Leech Monsters I've done over the last couple years! we're starting to upgrade the site which I'm very excited about but since my hand is still injured I can't actually start on customizing all the new features, so I may as well share the old stuff!

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cake decorating class finale

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surprise! it's more neopets

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my finger is healing slowly, but it is healing. it's got scarring on the sides where the damage was, likely on the tendons there. I still can't straighten it fully, and it still swells over time when I do art. but it's gone on to a silicone splint today! the rigid splint needs to be put on occasionally, and I have to massage it often with this horrid little wire sphincter to try and break up the scar tissue and give me flexibility and proper circulation back. I'm kind of mad that my attempt to fix my sleep disorder and correct my ADHD ended up in this injury that'll likely be permanent like... why did the meds do this. why they bully me. i just wanted to be better :(

i also have to go back to therapyyyy oh boy. turns out when you're unemployed and poorly socialized (autism presenting as social anxiety lol) and settle into minor comforts you start getting real skittish about changing that even though existing in it sucks. I just need to be coaxed out of the hole a little bit

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the neopet one!!!!

i need to make another deathclaw oc. maybe two

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i need to make another deathclaw oc. maybe two

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Hey everyone!! Look what's premiering in one hour!!!

This project was so much fun!!! Everyone did amazing with their parts PLEASE go check out the video description for everyone's socials and show them some love!! We all worked super hard on this and hope you enjoy it as much as we do!! ｡･ﾟ･(ﾉ▽`)･ﾟ･。

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honourable mention

so far nobody has liked my outfit :(

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so far nobody has liked my outfit :(

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additional kullen news: concerta and melatonin interacted... poorly. i've always had hypnopompic hallucinations (the kind you get with sleep paralysis. but i'm not paralyzed, i'm REACTIVE) but concerta was metabolizing so slowly out of my system it wasn't letting me sleep well. it did something hideous to my hindbrain and made me panic. so in the throes of a hallucination that just made me imagine someone had come into my room and rearranged my shelf, i launched myself foward, fell fully out of bed, and landed my entire weight on my finger. of my dominant hand. got it xrayed and everything. it's not broken! but it's been a month and a half and I still don't have full use of it. i'm going to physio though - managed to make a fist yesterday for the first time since, so it's getting there. swells up something horrible if i have it out of the splint to do art and I can't straighten it past a 30 degree bend when that happens so it's very slow going.

i've switched to ritalin now which..... works perfectly. same molecule, instant release. can't go to the higher dose bc it gives me mad anxiety and issues with diastolic blood pressure but the starter amount is apparently just right and im ????????? ok.jpg i have mild-moderate adhd so it's not going to pack the same punch as if i had moderate-severe since it's not correcting as much of an imbalance but still it feels pretty good and it hasn't caused any severe side effects other than crashing really hard when they wear off. if only i could get sleep meds that work bc i'm not allowed melatonin any more :')

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city pigeons

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MY DENTAL WORK IS ALL DONE!! the dentist said i was one of her best patients i'm assuming because i just lie there chillin but in reality i was staring up at the ceiling tv judging every single second of low-budget animation and timing cues of Kung Fu Panda Dragon Knight

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also an update on the ADHD situation: nz only gets access to four meds, two of which are the same thing with different release times, and one nonstimulant. I've tried two! one of them made me irrationally angry and the other made me incredibly forgetful and also reacted poorly with my melatonin which has now actually caused me injuries. i'm gonna go on the fast release of my current one and if that fails, the nonstimulant. and if THAT fails, a secret fifth medication will be unlocked (nz's getting a couple more meds approved for use next year)