#and i dont actually fall asleep until 1am because of the mental illness so ive been running on 4 hrs of sleep for the last two weeks
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i love christmas in theory but its scary to me how little i remenber to do things
#im blaming it partially on work bc im so fucking tired when i get home but holy shit#ive had to write myslef multiple to do lists all over my apartment and i STILL dont remember to do things until last minute#what is happening to meeeee#i havent been sleeping well either like. consistently. for the last week and a half at LEAST#and im afraid to take melatonin bc it makes me sleep through my alarm sometimes and i cant risk thattttt#on my nightmare arc . in my memory loss era. its concerning but also. shrug emoji !#ill be in the car like . i have to do x and x and x after work and then i get home and i KNOW i had those thoughts#but i cannot for the LIFE of me remember what they were. and then its 10pm and i need to go to bed because i wake up at 5am#and i dont actually fall asleep until 1am because of the mental illness so ive been running on 4 hrs of sleep for the last two weeks#im in pain theres so kuch stuff that needs done and i cant remember any of it
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