#this will be my personal healing journey

[mrs-snape5984]

„You’re not alone, together we stand. I’ll be by your side, you know, I’ll take your hand…”

“Just stay strong, ‘cause you know, I’m here for you…” (“Keep holding on” by Avril Lavigne)

I decided to set a trigger warning on this post: Miscarriages, high risk pregnancies, ICSI treatments, traumatic wish for a child journey, hysterectomy. So, please feel free to skip the following x paragraphs, if you feel triggered by these topics. Thank you.

Those of you lovely people of Snapedom, who know me and my way of blogging about Severus and my personal hardships might have noticed, that I’m mostly venting about ME/CFS and the crumbs, which are left from my former life. Since I can’t do much about it right now, I decided to “fix” another one of my countless issues…an internal wound, which desperately needs to heal!

As some of you might remember, I’m a mother of three wonderful children. There are my eleven years old twins and then there’s my six years old daughter. My pregnancies were the result of a long and painful journey of ICSI treatments, several miscarriages, way too many tears, about ten surgeries - due to Endometriosis and myomas - which eventually ended in a hysterectomy four years ago.

My desperate wish for a child led me to some decisions and life choices, which I probably wouldn’t have made, if I would have been clearer…maybe more stable in my whole mindset. One of these choices was a totally over rushed marriage to a narcissistic man, who made me believe, that he wanted the same. Gosh…I’ve been so desperate and so fucking stupid! Well, at least I got my twins because of him.

I went to the appointment for the transfer of the embryos on my own. He didn’t want to join the procedure…and I should have known, that he was already saying “goodbye” back then.

The pregnancy was rough. I had to lie in bed from the 8th week of pregnancy until they were born as premature babies in the 29th week of pregnancy. The last 4,5 months of pregnancy, I had to stay in the hospital…fighting for my babies’ lives all on my own. The father of them had decided, that he didn’t want to be a father anymore…wow…

I don’t want to go further into details about this phase of my life…at least not yet. I commissioned my friend @alinearthp for this project and asked her for several drawings of the different phases of my journey to become a mother. This artwork will be the start of my healing process…and I’m incredibly grateful, that you’re doing this for me, Aline! I know, that you’ll need time to draw all these wishes of mine, but I’ll be patiently waiting for each of your breathtaking pieces of art, my dear!

So, for the next couple of months, Severus will accompany me on my path through this phase of my past…just like he did back then, when I spent months in a hospital bed in “Trendelenburg” position. During this period of my life - and to be honest, in so many other phases of the past 21 years, as well - I clung to my imagination of Severus in order to feel less helpless and alone. His resilience and determination have always been my inspiration to keep going through all these hardships, which life kept throwing at me. He’s the love of my life…and he will forever be the guiding light in my darkness.

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[cod-dump]

*in a meeting*

Price: Alright, let’s get something straight-

Ghost: *immediately puts his hand up*

Price: … yes, Ghost?

Ghost: Can I leave since I’m not straight?

Price: No because then all of you would leave

Ghost, looking around him: Point taken

Alex: Then can we leave if we’re straight?

Farah: You’re not straight, Alex

Alex: I’m not?!

Farah, looking him dead in the eye: The Christmas party, 2020

Alex: … okay, Price, let’s get this show on the road-

[lavender-whisper]

MAKING LIFE BEAUTIFUL ༊*·˚

beauty is a high value of mine, it makes life worth living, and with that i don't mean conforming to commercial beauty standards, but cultivating a beautiful environment, inner thoughts/mindset, and lifestyle. here are some things i want to do to make my life more beautiful:

avoiding stress by doing tasks and assignments early

feeling refreshed by not staying up late

experiencing the sunrise and sunset by waking up early and being more mindful of my environment/nature

having a clean and tidy room

having an organized digital space

having an athletic and flexible body by regularly exercising and stretching

having an uncluttered mind by journaling my thoughts everyday

having a positive mindset (no self-loathing, ugly thoughts!)

making life meaningful by not only consuming, but also creating beautiful things through creative means

pursuing my hobbies (writing, drawing, singing, dancing, crafting)

eating less processed food & more beautifully prepared healthy food

being hygienic by smelling good, caring for my nails & hair, and wearing stainless clean clothing

avoiding stress by not being forced to hurry

concentrating being in the present moment

minimizing social media usage

creating a nice atmosphere with matching music

basically romanticizing my life

i hope these tips help you cultivate a more beautiful life too! i might make more blog posts if i feel inspired, because they are pretty too ;)

︶︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶︶

[bloominginsilence]

"You can choose to believe in anything, and that includes believing in yourself."

- The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

[siblingshuffle]

Sibling Shuffle: Maintenance Day

Sorry for the wait!

LORE:

This takes place between Game 4 and Game 5. Probably inspired by Rock tentatively trying to form a relationship with his family, Tempo just barely builds up enough confidence to share with Dr. LaLinde that she’s a bit uncomfortable with her messing with her systems unsupervised. They reach the agreement that Rhythm will stay in the room (which I forgot to clarify via dialogue, but Rhythm was going to be sent out to work on her job right after).

Rhythm has no idea how to contribute other than to try to add some levity to the moment lol

—————

The Clipboard notes: the official concept art sketches for Tempo are on the side, alongside Tempo’s Sibling Shuffle concept art (but in black & white)

Tempo and Dr. LaLinde? Having conversations to gradually rebuild the lost trust between them? Yeah that’s the aim 👍

—————

Next Up: Roll With The Punches

[evie-doesnt-write]

“Wille has gone through so fucking much from his shitty, neglectful, psychologically abusive parents, the death of Erik, the betrayal of August, his and Simon’s relationship issues, his mother becoming sick, finding out Erik was a homophobe, and so fucking much more, and he’s just a kid whose only support are his one friend and his boyfriend who are facing their own problems and nobody can blame him for not knowing how to deal with his emotions and having breakdowns” and “Wille is extremely flawed (as are everyone in this show) and never having been taught how how to deal with his emotions and problems in a healthy way and having little to no support system doesn’t change or excuse the fact that he constantly projects onto Simon, has internalised the mindset that Simon’s problems are far lesser than him, often behaves inconsiderate towards him and doesn’t listen or listen to Simon when he tries to talk to him and these are things he will need to work on, especially if he wants to keep a relationship with Simon” are not mutually exclusive statements

[feminiel]

Being highly intuitive is one thing but knowing how to use it is another. If we are using intuition from a place a fear, we are likely using it to control, manipulate, and hurt which comes from a dark feminine energy. If we are using intuition from a place of love, we are likely using it to enhance love, beauty and healing around us, which comes come a light feminine energy. Knowing how our intuition is serving us and others is part of working with divine feminine energy.

@feminiel

[yichens]

something something i just want a humble, murderously simple thing: that mork would've been allowed to heal on screen and get through his trauma with loving people by his side or however that quote goes idk

[amalasdraws]

It's interesting to see how over the years my art reflects a journey from me being extremely heartbroken to slowly healing.

[itsnotmehuman]

My knight in shining armour.

My knight in shining armour does not look like those in the books.

My knight in shining armour is not trying to save a defenseless princess in distress.

My knight in shining armour sometimes looks like a little girl who is carrying the weight of words, which are sharper than knives.

My knight in shining armour sometimes looks like a reckless teenager who seeks justice or revenge.

My knight in shining armour hates her curly hair but loves letting her hair down, wild, and free.

My knight in shining armour has her whole body cover in tattoos to hide the scars of a skin, which had suffered the consequences of a pure soul living in a heartless world.

My knight in shining armour is a woman who is trying to heal her inner child as she tries to ease the pain of her younger self.

My knight in shining armour is me.

A woman who is holding on to life as tight as she can.

Fighting for a better present, fighting for a better future.

Fighting against her own demons.

Fighting in order to feel like herself again...

[girlmagicfr]

Weekly Journal Prompts

[poetessprachi]

why does nobody talk about emotional glow up and spiritual glow up..?

[elaho]

This is the final/touched-up version of the post I made a while ago, along with some story and character lore. I've been thinking hard about what kind of story I want to tell with this graphic novel since I really don't want to put my time and effort into something that isn't meaningful to me.

Story Time: I recently broke up with my INFJ boyfriend of 7 months this December. He was an immature INFJ and it was an unhealthy relationship where I was consistently neglected and my Fi ("Introverted Feeling"), including personal feelings, were not taken seriously or valued.

It was a necessary break-up, but it unearthed a lot of past trauma I was subjected to from *unhealthy* Fe ("Extroverted Feeling") users throughout my life. The realization of my resentment towards high Fe users has brought up a lot of mixed feelings, including both shame for hating Fe and fear of being rejected by it.

I hadn't known Fe to be anything but abusive or manipulative and I had believed firmly that I could never be fully embraced or understood by Fe users because I was too "dark", "depressing", or "anti-social" just for being myself and expressing my Fi.

That is, until recently...

(To be continued with my next post) ;)

[add1ctedt0you]

What's your version of Jiang Cheng Gives Up? *chinhands*

Hiii! My version of jc gives up is very boring: he gives up on wwx and their shared past and moves on.

An overexposure to yunmeng bros reconciliations has brought me to one conclusion: I don't necessarily need them to reconcile. (Not because: 'jc/wwx is so toxic!' or 'jc/wwx deserves better than that selfish asshole!'. Like, I always roll my eyes. They are two horrible human - fictional- beings who deserve each other!).

But imo, post-canon jc has two priorities:

Jin ling

Himself

First point: he needs to be there for jl. Not only politically! But emotionally too. jl is going through a rough time jc too experienced: a loved ones betrayal. jc knows what it does to you. And listen, one of the things I love about jc is how he is trying his best. Always. In particular when it comes to people he loves. ('but he did a lot of things wrong', thank fuck! He is a traumatized character who behaves like a traumatized character. This scene explains so much about jc imo: jc knows that not having an adult in your life who believes in you is shit. So he tries to give space - in his way- to jl, while fighting his urge to protect him, because the last time every one of his family member was on a battlefield, they died.) So yeah, he is going to try being there for jl, in his imperfect way. And that brings me to point two.

jc has to recalibrate himself, to be there for jl: what he thought were truths, are revealed to be lies. All his life was a lie.

That's my favorite jc's speech. It's visceral, it's painfully honest. He is literally saying to us his state of mind: he is feeling guilty, wronged and confused.

'who am I?' hits hard, because who you are when you have built your life on lies?! Should he feel guilty?! wwx has made this huge sacrifice for him, but he has hurt him too: what should he feel?!

So, because I interpret jc as someone who overthinks, I want him to lose his mind over his doubts and start a journey of healing (or, what realistically someone without therapy can manage).

I want him to look at Lotus Pier, his home, and think: 'dang, what I have managed is incredible'. I what him to realize: 'what wwx made for me was an huge sacrifice, but my feelings are valid too'. I want him to be, not happy, but satisfied, when thinking about his life. And I don't need him and wwx to reconcile, because I like the bittersweet taste their broken relationship leaves in his mouth.

So, my jc gives up is: he learns to live with himself and jl, peacefully.

[dark-wackademia]

THIS!

[katsy-kitty]

I just wanted to say that I've been feeling better since Saturday afternoon and I'm no longer thinking of ending it all.

So that's good, I think.

Thank you once again to everyone who's been nice to me.