#this show genuinely shaped me as a person I think

[kiszjuli]

LOVE BET .ᐟ

✸ bestfriend!jisung x fem!reader | genre. fluff | w.c. 2.5k | ♡

↳ synopsis. you and your bestfriend jokingly make a bet that whoever doesn't get a valentine has to pay for dinner at you guys' favorite restaurant, which is quite expensive. as valentine's day approaches, you both realize that you don't exactly like the idea of the other person going out with someone..

↳playlist. love - keyshia cole. lucky girl - red velvet. affection - between friends. like we just met - nct dream. better than gold - nct dream. off my face - justin bieber.

it was currently february 1st, meaning all of the bright pink and red decorations were already decorated around your campus. you found yourself in the, abnormally loud and chaotic cafeteria, you were waiting at your designated seats for your best friend, jisung, and as you waited you looked around. Glancing from the pink flyers to the red heart shaped balloons, and everything else in between. jisung plopped down with a sigh in front of you. "it looks like cupid threw up in here," you muttered, opening your pack of cookies. jisung's lips quirked up into a boyish grin as he settled in his seat. "what, jelous of all the love in the air?"

"it's not that," you said offering him a cookie, which he gladly took. "it's just...valentine's day is so overrated. why spend one single day to prove your love when you could just like─not suck the rest of the year?"

laughing, jisung spoke again. "god, you're such a romantic, no wonder you're still single," rolling your eyes you glare at him. "you're one to talk. when was the last time you tried to talk to someone you like?"

jisung's face flushed a little. "hey, i talk to people!"

"not what i asked," you say flatly, then lean across the table. "name one person you've flirted with in...the past year," you say thinking for a second.

as if really trying to think, he furrows his brows and looks at the table. "exactly," you laugh. "alright, how about you then? i don't remember hearing about you having a valentine," he raised a brow, challenging you back and sitting up in his seat.

your confidence wavered a little, but didn't let it show, "oh please, i could get asked out if i wanted to,"

"oh yeah? could you?"

you reached for a fry on your tray and threw it at him. he tried to block the fry, it falling to his lap as he laughed at you. "i'm just saying," he shrugged. "all this big talk, yet you're in the same boat as me,"

a smirk spreads across your face, as you get an idea. "fine, you know what? how about, whoever doesn't get themselves a valentine, has to buy the other dinner at our favorite restaurant. deal?"

this time it was jisung’s turn to falter a little. “are you seriously betting on this?”

you shrugged. “why not? scared of losing?” you teased.

those words were all it took for his competitive side to kick and and he straighted up once again. “fine. you’re on.” he reached out his his hand and you took it firmly. “prepare to lose park jisung,” you smiled your gaze locked on his. “i’m about to eat so much pasta,”

he smirked, his hand lingering in yours for a second longer than necessary. “we’ll see about that.”

little did the both of you know, that stupid little bet was about to change everything.

—

it’s a quiet afternoon, after school. you and jisung were hanging out at your favorite café. the place was a little busy with people, but you are just enjoying the usual, comfortable silence. that is, until a guy from one of your classes walks in. you notice him immediately. he was a generally friendly guy, always talking to everyone. he notices you and walks over to your table.

“hey!” he says, making his way over. “what’s up? haven’t seen you around lately.”

you stand to greet him, talking easily as you always do. you’re genuinely enjoying the conversation. he was funny, charming, and always has something interesting to say—never really an awkward pause. you laugh at a joke he tells, and just for a second, you forget jisung is even there.

jisung, however, hasn’t missed a thing.

he watches from his seat, his grip on his cup tightening just slightly. the way you and the guy are laughing, how easily you two got along. it was too comfortable. jisung tries to focus on his phone, but his eyes keep flicking back to you. there’s something in the way the guy looks at you, a little too interested, and jisung feels a pang in his chest. trying to brush it off, he settles with the fact that it’s because you might be winning the bet; for now.

jisung was trying to focus on his phone, scrolling through something meaningless, but the smile on your face. the way you leaned in a little closer to the guy as you talked. it was starting to bother him more than he’d like to admit. it’s dumb, he knows it’s dumb, but he can’t help the flicker of frustration in his stomach. you’re supposed to be just friends. but suddenly, the idea of someone else being interested in you feels… wrong.

he feels like he can ignore him and focus on his phone until the guy laughs again—louder this time, with a hand on your shoulder. he feels his blood start to simmer.

“so, uh, i was thinking about going to see a movie this weekend. wanna go?” the guy asks, his tone light, like it’s no big deal.

you smile, looking a little surprised. “oh, uh, sure! sounds fun.”

jisung’s fingers tighten around his phone, his knuckles almost turning white. the guy’s eyes flicker over to him, then back to you, and jisung doesn’t miss the way the guy raises an eyebrow, sizing him up. it’s a subtle look, but it makes jisung’s jaw clench. he new what the guy was doing, and so did he.

the guy turns to leave, his attention shifting away from you, but before he walks off, he looks back one last time. “see you later, yeah?”

“yeah, definitely!” you call after him, still smiling.

as soon as the guy walks away, jisung can’t hold it in anymore. he stands abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor louder than usual. “i’m gonna get some air,” he mutters, as he begins to step away.

you glance at him, a little startled. “wha-? jisung, what’s wrong?”

he shakes his head, brushing you off. “nothing. just need some air.”

before you can say anything else, he’s walking out of the café, leaving you behind. you stare after him, confused and a little concerned. what was that about?

you sigh and lean back in your chair, a little unsure of what just happened. you know jisung, and you know that wasn’t just about needing air. you weren’t even doing anything to provoke him. but something about the way he left makes you feel like maybe he’s… bothered.

you pull your phone out, sending him a quick message:

hey, u good?

a few moments later, he replies.

yeah, i’m fine,

but you can tell something’s off. you don’t press him right now, but the conversation with the guy you just had lingers in your mind. was it just your imagination, or did jisung seem…jealous?

—

the following day, you seem to ironically have a similar experience.

you walk into the library after second period, expecting to find jisung buried in his usual corner, headphones in and his nose buried in a textbook. but instead, you stop in your tracks when you see him sitting at a table with a girl from your class, one you’ve seen around but don’t really know. she’s leaning over his shoulder, pointing at a page in her notebook, and jisung is explaining something, his hand moving across the page to help her with the assignment.

hesitating for a moment, not wanting to interrupt, something in your chest tightens when you see how naturally they’re talking, how comfortable she looks in his presence. she was pretty close to him, her shoulder brushing his as she leans in. it feels like your heart sinks a little, and you swallow the lump in your throat.

the way jisung is smiling, the way he’s so focused on her… it’s the same way he looked when he helped you with schoolwork, but this time, it’s different. this time, there’s something more, something you hadn’t expected. the sight stings, even though you know it shouldn’t. it’s not like you have any claim over him, and he’s probably just being a good friend, but the nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach won’t go away.

you stand there for a moment, not sure what to do. a small part of you wants to walk away, pretend you didn’t see it, but another part of you, feels like you’ve been punched in the chest. you had no idea why.

just like jisung had felt the day before when you laughed with that guy at the café, you feel that same pang of jealousy now. and it’s so much more than you were expecting. maybe you understood his reaction a little more now.

after what feels like an eternity, you turn around and walk out of the library before you can let any of those feelings show. you tell yourself it’s ridiculous, that you have no reason to feel this way, but the image of jisung laughing with her sticks in your mind, making it impossible to shake the feeling.

—

it was now valentine’s day, and when you got the text from jisung asking to come over and talk, you assume it’s about the bet. about how he didn’t find the valentine he kept claiming he find. and you would tell him the same, that you were both valentine-less. you figured you’d laugh about it and go about your days. everything would go back to normal and you wouldn’t have to see him around talking to other girls and feeling that awful sting in the pit of your stomach.

but as he arrives to your place, the look on his face making you nervous. he sits on your couch and you follow him, cradling your legs to yourself as you sat.

the soft hum of the city outside the window barely audible as you sit together in the living room. despite the seemingly comfortable silence between you two, there’s something else in the air—a tension neither of you has been able to shake for days.

jisung’s, hands fidget in his lap, his eyes darting around the room like he’s searching for something, trying to find the right words. you could tell he’s been holding something back, and it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore the way he keeps glancing at you, like he’s trying to figure out how to speak what’s been on his mind for so long.

“hey,” you say softly, breaking the silence, “is everything okay?”

he glances at you, but his gaze is distant—like he’s caught between saying something and not saying anything at all. you wait for him to respond, the anticipation weighing heavily in the room.

“i’ve been thinking a lot,” he begins, his voice quieter than usual, which spikes your curiosity. he exhales slowly. “about everything… with the bet, with us. and i’ve realized something. something i think i’ve been running from for a really long time.”

you sit up a little, your heart beating faster as you focus entirely on him. his tone was serious, the vulnerability in his voice making your chest tighten with both concern and curiosity.

“i’ve been… avoiding it,” jisung continues, his words coming out in a rush. “for years. i kept telling myself it wasn’t anything. that we were just friends. that it didn’t mean anything. but the truth is, i’ve been denying it for so long because I was scared... of what would happen if i admitted it. if i admitted that i’ve felt something more for you than just… friendship.”

your breath nearly catches in your throat. the words are unexpected, and yet, they make your heart race. you swallow, unsure of what to say, but jisung keeps going.

“i thought if i ignored it long enough, it would go away,” he admits, his eyes locked on yours now, raw and open. “but it never did. and i realized that i couldn’t keep pretending. i couldn’t keep pretending that i didn’t feel something for you. i don’t want to see you with anyone else. i don’t want to watch you go out with someone and not be the one standing next to you.” his lock onto yours.

you can feel your heart pounding in your chest, and you’re not sure whether to be shocked or relieved that he’s finally saying this. all the years of hints, all the quiet moments between you two, all of it makes sense now.

“i’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but i was too afraid,” he confesses, his voice breaking slightly. “i that it would ruin everything. that maybe you wouldn’t feel the same way, or worse—that it would destroy our friendship. but i can’t keep denying it. i’m… in love with you, y/n. and have been for so long, and i can’t pretend i’m okay with the idea of you being with anyone else.”

for a moment, you’re speechless, processing the weight of his words. years of feelings, years of quiet longing—suddenly all of it is out in the open, and it feels both overwhelming and relieving at the same time.

you swallow, your voice barely above a whisper as you look at him. “jisung… i never wanted anyone else. i don’t think i ever did. i’ve been scared too. scared of ruining what we had, scared that you wouldn’t feel the same. but… i feel the same way.”

his eyes widen at your confession, and something in him shifts. like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. his shoulders slump, a sense of relief settling over him.

“really?” he asks, as if he can’t believe you’re saying it too.

you nod, voice steadier now. “i never wanted to go out with anyone else. but i was too scared to risk what we had. i didn’t know how to tell you i… felt the same. i wanted to be with you, but i couldn’t say it.”

jisung ran a hand through his hair, letting out a breath he’s held too long. his expression softens, and he moves closer, hand gently touching yours, hesitant but tender.

“so… we’re both idiots then, huh?” he says with a nervous laugh, the humor light but relieved. “all this time… and we were both too scared to admit it.”

you laugh, the tension breaking. “yeah. but i think we’re finally getting it right.”

his smile is genuine, the softest you’ve ever seen. “so…will you be my valentine?”

you squeeze his hand, a smile tugging at your lips. “well… only because i don’t have anyone else that asked,” and maybe, just maybe, i’ll let you take me out on a real date. not because of a stupid bet, but because i want to be with you.”

his eyes light up and he chuckles at your words. he smiles softly, cheeks a little rosy. “that sounds perfect.”

and just like that, all the hesitation, all the silent feelings, fade away. you’re both free from the weight of denial, starting something new. together.

and in your book, you still won’t the bet. you knew you weren’t gonna pay for the dinner from the start, and you were right. you also got the best valentine, and soon boyfriend, anyone scouts ever ask for.

—

⁀➷⊹ ࣪ ˖~ THE LA LA LOVE SERIES .ᐟ

taggies(open) ↳ @kittydollzz @huffnpufffck @completelyjae @lovesuhng @nae-vm @ayibdorrt @chocoriki @yomaman @yukisroom97

(i’m sorry this one’s a little late you guys)

[xesnox]

(Post fall) Ancient builder x Illager toxic old man yaoi when

WIP, was planning on doing a ref for every human race but a mutual of mine practically begged me to post these two on their own so you’re probably gonna see this image again. Colors are not yet where I want them to be so I’ll definitely go over it a few more times.

I’d like to take this moment to point out that the way you summon allays in legends, where you play as an ancient builder, is pretty similar to the way evokers summon vexes.

Design / AU rant below cut, as always.

This one’s a little worse written than usual, I’m just rambling.

I practically have an infinite amount of Ancient builder designs because I draw them differently with every piece depending on how I’m feeling, but for this design I got more genuinely speculative and turned on my pattern recognition.

Steve and Alex are canonically 6’2, both of them, and all undead mobs seem to be the same height, if not taller than they are, so I made them average around 6’5. To add to that, all undead builder mobs either don’t have eyes or have solid coloured glowing ones, so I went with the latter.

Minecraft isn’t a stranger to making lifeforms appearances change drastically depending on circumstance, this render is of an Ancient builder post wither attack, around ancient city time, which meant I could adopt the idea the devs mentioned about villagers/illagers, of human skin turning desaturated if they stay out of the sun for long enough, which, if the single generation of Illagers already show signs of I bet the god knows how many decade long underground escapades of the builders probably hit ‘em hard with that trait.

I also for the longest time for some reason forgot cosmetics were very likely a thing, so they’ve got some protection spells and luck enchantments tattooed, both of them do. Doesn’t work very well, as one can probably guess. But they’re superstitious so it felt in character enough.

For the post wither attack Ancient builders I also tend to think of them as more frail, not only because they had no access to their former overworld food supplies and had to rely on the little stuff that did grow in complete lack of sunlight underground, which definitely wasn’t a lot, but also because beyond the military force that did seem to remain from the nether war (ancient city structure name: Barracks, disk 5 marching.) they definitely were no longer strong enough to properly defend themselves against the wither or the warden/mourner on their own accord.

And because they were cowards and skedaddled when the overworld was in danger AND got beat up by the piglin despite being the main kingdom in power which I just find really funny. So think tall and boney but hiding it under a lot of clothing layers to still appear strong. Definitely can’t put on armor anymore though, that back would snap like a twig.

When it comes to the robes I used some of my older armor template designs for reference, made them black and blue to fit the most well known ancient builder sprite as well as vaguely match the one of the evoker. Because, oh well, you caught me, I do believe the cargo cult theory. Got my own interpretation but I’ll leave it at that till the next bestiary entry.

I generally want the villagers to look more varied, and human, while the builders, both neo and ancient, look more unsettling, as if they’re clearly a person, but something just looks, or moves wrong. They’re too symmetrical. Too far removed from what once was flawed but sincerely their own.

A lot of villager beauty standards are inspired by medieval-renaissance era Europe, like for an example having a larger visible forehead and appearing more boxy in shape being seen as more visually appealing, I think despite the illagers trying to subvert that they do still live in a society, so having grown accustomed to it as children they probably still at-least somehow adhere to the beauty standards they know, whether consciously or not.

They perform similar experiments on themselves as the builders, they’re just ever so slightly worse at it, as they haven’t been doing it for as long, so it leaves marks like scarring or visible stitching, though I believe they wear these with pride.

There’s gonna be a dedicated post about them at some point, as I said so I don’t know how much of my design I want to pick apart for now, but I’ll just leave it at that for now.

Here’s some alternative versions.

[thesmashwaffle]

-- ❤️: Favorite character?

Arven. Hands down. The last character that I've loved and resonated with on this level was Hau back in Gen 7, and it takes a lot to even come close to matching that. Like, I love how many layers there is to him as a character, because while you would've expected him to be the resident asshole (a la Gladion and Bede), he turns out to be such a sweet, gentle, and sentimental guy. He was very much going through it with all the shit he was put through, and I can relate deeply to how he thinks more with his heart than his head, how he struggles to communicate with and read other people, and how much he cares about those close to him on the inside. I love him to death, and he'll go down as one of my favorite characters in all of fiction.

-- ⭐️: Favorite Team Star member?

Honestly a pretty tough choice, since there's a good bit to like about all of them, but I think Giacomo is the most compelling to me. I think his design is kickass, I admire how chill he is, and his background as the former student council president is very compelling. (Funny how two of Arven's more well known ships are with student council presidents of some shape or form)

-- 0️⃣: Favorite DLC character?

Listen, this one was a pretty hard choice between the siblings, but I might actually have to say Carmine. Like, I really didn't like her that much at first, and that was mainly because the way she treated Kieran sometimes hit a little too close to home. The way she bad talk or embarrass him in front of the player, the only real friend he made at that point, the way she brushed off some of his feelings as "teenage angst" and just him being emotional, some other stuff... It felt like a spitting image of how my brother used to treat me up until my second semester of high school. Later on though, you can see how she genuinely concerns for her brother, and realizing how she took him for granted in some ways, she comes back around exactly how my brother did. There's definitely a good few more layers to her beyond this, but all in all, she's such a well and realistically written older sibling, and I love her for that.

-- 💥: Favorite Gym leader/Elite four?

Kofu. I love his "fun uncle" energy, and he never fails to put a big fucking grin on my face whenever he's onscreen. I want to give him a hug.

-- 📝: Opinion on each of the Zero Crew? (Arven, Penny, Nemona)

Arven - I think I already said as much as I needed to before.

Penny - She didn't click with me as much as she apparently did for a lot of other people, but I really adore her and what she stands for as a character. I love how well she connects with others like Team Star even despite her introverted nature.

Nemona - Oh boy, where do I begin with you? I've said it before, but I love how she puts her own spin on the obligatory rival trope where instead of trying to be better than the player, she trains the player up to become as strong as she truly is so she can have someone to rival her strength in battle. Even besides that, she's just such a lovable character in her own ways. I adore her enthusiasm, I think her overzealousness can be funny, and she's just the kind of character you just love to love

Also, whether you ship them or just see them as friends, I don't think her dynamic with Arven is appreciated enough. Early on, they do bicker a lot, and he does claim that they "can't get along", but you can tell that she cares about him unconditionally by the way that she shows concern for his wellbeing in her first phone call. Furthermore, Arven even considered going to Nemona for help with the titans before you came along, and actually softens up on her in Area Zero when realizing how much more there is to her as a person. They still butt heads a little in the postgame, but you can tell they're getting along better by the way Nemona implies they've been talking more when bringing up Arven's suggestion for the tournament's name. I could go on for a while longer about this, but all in all, they have better chemistry than a lot of people realize.

-- 🌲: Opinion on the Kitakami siblings?

Carmine - I think I said all that I needed to before.

Kieran - Honestly such a nicely written character. I love his character arc, and as a younger sibling who was also kinda kicked around a lot, I can relate to him in some ways myself. I do like how he's sort of this subtle antagonist though, because Kieran was more or less the catalyst for literally everything that went wrong in the DLC. He was the reason the Loyal Three got revived and antagonized Ogerpon, he created a toxic environment within the League Club, and he awoke and enraged Terapagos. Like, sure, he didn't have these evil schemes and shit like Giovanni and Ghetsis, but in terms of what he was willing to do or risk for his own fulfillment, was he any different from characters like Volo or Lusamine? It's just more understandable and forgiveable in his case because he's just a kid and wasn't nearly as far gone, since he came right back around towards the end.

-- 🫐: Opinion on the BB league members?

I can't say too much for each of them individually other than Drayton, because he's the only one they did all that much with. I do like him in particular most out of the rest for how much smarter he is than he lets on and the layers he has to his character. Crispin is my second favorite of the bunch because I like his passionate energy and love for cooking, plus his blatant crush on Lacey is adorable. Speaking of, Lacey is adorable, and I kinda wish she clicked with me the same way she seemed to with a lot of others. Amarys is... Amarys. I don't want to say I disliked her, but she just isn't interesting to me as a character in the slightest. I think her design is cool, though that's really about all I can say.

-- ⏱️: Favorite Paradox Pokemon?

Penis Dragon Miraidon. The design is so fucking cool, the type combo is one I like, and I admire how both it and Koraidon have more of an established character in the story than any other box legendaries do. The closest we had to anything like it before was Nebby.

-- 💛: Favorite Paldean Pokemon?

God, that's a tough one because there's a good few that I actually really like.

I think I'm gonna have to say the Pawmot line. I like that it actually has an evolutionary line like Pikachu does, unlike the other pikaclones, and all of the designs for it are fucking adorable. I also love how stupidly busted Pawmot is against any pokemon that isn't a ground type.

-- 📖: Favorite storyline? (Ex: Mochi mayhem, Starfall street)

The Way Home. I love how it brings all three of the game's stories into one, gives such a solid introduction to Area Zero, concludes Arven's story arc, and establishes a fellowship betwixt yourself and your three friends. It's fitting that Toby Fox had a hand in this storyline's soundtrack and motifs, because it reminds me a lot of how everything was sort of tied together towards the end of Undertale's pacifist route. (Doesn't help the final boss has glowing blue eyes)

-- 🗣️: Anything you want to say about SV?

As a game, it's certainly not perfect, but in terms of damn near everything else, this might just be one of the best things to come out of Pokemon as a whole. I wish the game had more time in the oven so its flaws could be ironed out and so some people wouldn't have as much reason to drag it through the mud.

Pokemon Scarlet and Violet is easily the biggest hyperfixation I've had in years, and I'm honest to god surprised it's stuck with me this long. Then again, this series has been a part of my life for literally as long as I can remember, so what can I say?

Pokemon Scarvio themed reblog/tag game!

-- ❤️: Favorite character?

-- ⭐️: Favorite Team Star member?

-- 0️⃣: Favorite DLC character?

-- 💥: Favorite Gym leader/Elite four?

-- 📝: Opinion on each of the Zero Crew? (Arven, Penny, Nemona)

-- 🌲: Opinion on the Kitakami siblings?

-- 🫐: Opinion on the BB league members?

-- ⏱️: Favorite Paradox Pokemon?

-- 💛: Favorite Paldean Pokemon?

-- 📖: Favorite storyline? (Ex: Mochi mayhem, Starfall street)

-- 🗣️: Anything you want to say about Scarvio? (Infodump, a rant, or just other thoughts)

Feel free to infodump alongside your answers! Anyone is allowed to reblog :3

[crunchsomebones]

I love kill la kill. I love how seriously it takes itself. I love that it is the most unserious show I've ever seen. I love how it somehow tricks you into getting deeply invested in a genuinely philosophical battle against the very concept of clothing. I love that it does this by showing you big titty anime girl fights with animation that rivals every other show I've ever seen. I love the lesbians. I love how it fails in its concept at times, and I love how much it succeeds. I love every dumb plot twist. I love that the villains genuinely do fucked up, unforgivable shit. I love the commentary on the nature of fascism and its relation to fashion. I love every dumb joke. I love how they made an 8 foot tall muscle man who's obsessed with discipline and school regulations and then made him a giant fucking masochist with a pain kink. I love that they made that one guys nipples glow pink for literally no reason. I love the insightful commentary on the social construct of nudity and what being naked really means, and how our bodies are morally neutral. I love the dick jokes. I fucking love this show.

[frenchfry99]

Looks can be deceiving, aren't they?

Her main job is to gather information for the mob, so same as her original version, Daria always knows the weather, just in a bit different way, assisting in planning missions and making sure the environment for them is safe, including getting rid of targets that get in the way of the "family's" success.

Has a habit of calling others pet names. If you're her victim too dw. Will call you "sugar" in your face and then stab you in the back lol-

Daria always wears her usual ambitious and flamboyant personality, though , for example, Frank would rather call her pretty insufferable (pretty AND insufferable as I like to say:3 ).

I mean he's not wrong, you gotta have some strong nerves or similar personality so her company would be bearable- still her humorous and energetic self, her kindness and care are rather performative than her original version, Daria would help someone else only if they're part of the family/it's in her interest and she'd get something in return. But if you really caught her eye, you're cherished as the most precious thing in her life-

Convinced she can get whatever she wants.. And she will! One way or another, bad or good - Daria will get to her goal

"Me? A journalist? You're making me laugh, darlin'. " But they're not joking, Daria! Oh if only you remembered- well, at least now you'll always remember what you get for being too nosy

Template by @/clownsuu

[notacatdown]

yes and no. they definitely shouldve had one, but how things flow in the drama (i didnt read the novel so feel free to educate me!), between all that happens in ep 7 and ep 8, it almost felt like there was no time for that to happen. if anything, maybe instead of his percent going up from being jealous of seeing her with fuyi, they couldve done something there, but the version of ziqi theyre trying to portray is one who is already beginning to like her romantically, skipping over the friendship part and just wanting to Be Together. like a desperate lovesick puppy

I figure ep 9 is a better place to respond than your ep 4 rewatch because it's here that Miaomiao says Mu Sheng should go see a therapist. The drama keeps a lot of the novel's dialogue about how Mu Sheng sees himself (he's tired of his life, he thinks that his death is the ideal solution to everything, he believes that his only purpose in life is to protect Mu Yao, etc), but it doesn't go into detail. How does a person with such deep loathing for himself and suicidal tendencies behave?

In the novel, the moment when he realizes how much he wants her affection and her warmth, he instinctively wants to kill that desire for self-protection. He believes that he's a monster and only a saint like Mu Yao will care about him. He fears rejection and believes that it's inevitable, so he wants to get rid of her. But at the same time, he really wants her attention and gets upset when she ignores him. The more he likes her, the more he gets scared of what he thinks will happen. He doesn't have the sense of security to want to enter a romantic relationship yet.

(Whereas in ep 8, it seems as if Miaomiao had said she likes him instead of saying she cares about him because she's his disciple, he wouldn't try to send her away. His fear is that she will reveal his secret to Mu Yao.)

He hates himself, so he keep sabotaging his relationships. He has to believe he's deserving of love and friendship to stop pushing her away. And even then, healthy behavior isn't the absence of bad behavior. It's a completely new set of behavior that happy people learn from their interactions with parents as children. For a person like Mu Sheng, who didn't come from a happy family, he has to learn it as an adult from Miaomiao.

We can sort of see this in the drama too when Mu Sheng says he doesn't like to argue with Mu Yao in ep 4. 

I really like how you phrased his mindset in that moment "placating her and telling her he doesn't like arguing with her, that sister knows best, just because he can't deal with hearing her say these hurtful things anymore, and he cant handle it if his sister has such a negative view of him, all while hes trying to smile. its genuinely hurting him internally, as we see in a moment. "

In the novel scenes where he thinks/says those lines, he's innocent of what Mu Yao is accusing him of even though it looks incriminating. Mu Yao gives him time to explain, but he doesn't want to. He wants the conversation to end as fast as possible. As the readers, we can see that this sort of misunderstanding has happened so many times in the past and shaped Mu Yao's view of him, but she still asks him. She desperately wants him to be innocent, but he's so stuck in his negative emotions that he can't see this.

"if you think it was me, then it was me." This new line and his expression when he says this is so perfect for how Mu Sheng views himself in the novel. His self-esteem is a house of cards shakily propped up by how Mu Yao and Miaomiao view him. He places Mu Yao and Miaomiao on a pedestal, and I like how the novel shows this places an unfair burden on Mu Yao and Miaomiao. I don't think this aspect is shown in the drama.

Anyways, I like that we get to see a different take on their relationship in the drama. I just wish the drama spent more time on it, especially their relationship as fan/reader and author.

—

since mu sheng is xia ziqi's self-insert, who does that make yao (not that she has to be a specific someone, i just mean does she stem from somewhere)? 

I viewed it as this is how a teenage boy would write an empowered woman. Except for a few scenes closely adapted from the novel, she doesn't have emotional fragility. I love that scene where Mu Yao is the only one not affected by the water demon's deepest fear trap, so its not that I want her changed. More like, it would be interesting to see her change. For example, if she had rethought her view on what a hero should be like after meeting Guo Xiu.

On a side note, that Mu Sheng would say he's not a member of the Mu clan and only Mu Yao's brother would imply he was treated badly. Do Mu Yao and Mu Sheng ever talk about this in the drama?

In the novel, Fu Zhou is a female author, has no connection to Mu Sheng, and the story is not a dream. So, the characters that a teenage boy writes would be different from the characters that a woman would write. It would have been interesting to see the female protagonists that Fu Zhou writes as an adult. I'm curious how Fu Zhou would portray Mu Yao in his revised version. I think she would be more nuanced.

The drama removes three female characters (Lin Yu's aunt, Mu Yao's biological mother, and Mu Yao's father's legal wife) and adds four male characters and one female character (Cuicui, Guo Xiu, the marquis, Liu Fuyi's master, and Liu-niang). The novel's final mystery arc is female-centric. It can be viewed as a tale of four mothers, the sacrifices they've made, and how that shaped their children in a patriarchal society part 2. 

(Which sounds depressing, but it's being revealed during the happiest time in Mu Sheng and Mu Yao's lives. Their childhoods sucked, but they met people that love them and helped them walk out the shadows of their childhood, and their future will be so happy. I think this is why the author chose to reveal their parents' stories this way.)

Although I want to protest about screenwriters that change female-centric novels to focus on the male protagonist in xianxia drama adaptations, it wouldn't make sense that a teenage boy would write that type of story. He doesn't understand how women think or how motherhood changes and impacts women.

"again, i think miaomiao is disregarding that this is a parallel universe, since she just sees it as the book's world and everyone is pretend, so venting like this, especially to ziqi, is not something that she has to hesitate about. they dont understand, and they dont fully question her, so why not speak to them as if they arent real people? at this point in the series, thats still how she sees them."

When I rewatch the part where she's sharing her vulnerable thoughts to him, I wish we could have gotten a scene where they're themselves with their memories intact and continued this conversation. It would have been such a good resolution! We never get to see them on the same page. We find out that Catching Demons is like a love letter to Miaomiao, but Miaomiao doesn't know that. I feel like I went to a restaurant, patiently waited for the chef to cook, enjoyed tasting while waiting, and right after the splendid meal was about to be served, the restaurant closed and takeout wasn't allowed.

"i like that after 5 years of traveling together the name ziqi has not come up once."

Lol. Shows that Mu Sheng has no friends T.T Strangers would call him Mu-gongzi/Young Master Mu to be polite. Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi call him Ah'Sheng. His mom calls him Sheng'er. In the novel, Miaomiao is the only one that calls him by Mu Sheng or Ziqi. I like that the marquis refers to him as that Ziqi guy because that's how he hears Miaomiao's address for Mu Sheng. That was a nice detail.

and yes, miaomiao has clearly changed a lot in the story, yet with how she is supposed to escape, the system will still ensure that she gets through it similarly, since she HAS to defeat the resentful woman, so the story has to continue,

I keep forgetting the system gives her two goals in the drama. I think this is because we only see Miaomiao working on Mu Sheng's favorability % and Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi's relationship. Let me know if I'm wrong or if I miss something. In the novel, she works on finding out more about the final boss and increasing her fighting ability to prepare for the ending throughout the story.

—

When I was re-watching the drama, I noticed how the omission of very minor details changed how I view Miaomiao. For example, in the novel, when Mu Sheng sticks the immobilizing charm on her to snatch Liu Fuyi's sachet from her, MiaoMiao's first thought is on the charm, how cool and useful it is. She asks him for one. It shows that she cares more about the demon hunter world and planning for future dangers over Mu Sheng and his petty behavior.

but hes so annoyed LOL. using a control talisman because HE WANTS THAT DANG IT. no hesitation at ALL.

ahhhhhh looking at the sachet for a moment and then her as he goes to grab it. he wants to intimidate and tease her so badlyyyyyyy

Oh Mu Sheng, if only you kept this jealous behavior and ripped off the love bracelet. What was the point of testing the bracelet? He should have just yanked the bracelet off. It's like seeing people on fire and not wanting to get close to them to throw water over them because they're naked. In an emergency situation, there is an exemption for everyday politeness.

In a magical world where a single talisman can make someone execute a complicated action and one person has the power to alter the memories of an entire village for years on end, and there's no magical way to check, an experienced demon hunter like Mu Sheng should have basic safety protocols. If she isn't acting like herself, the first step should be to strip her down to make sure there's no hidden magical item and question her to pinpoint when their memory or behavior changed.

and how he looks surprised "its a sachet" / "doesnt it look like that?" my guy what skills do you possess besides being super hot? because idk i havent quite seen them

Lol. Is it clear in the drama that he's terrible because this is the first time he's made a protective sachet? In the novel, the first ones that he offers Miaomiao are three lumpy bags crammed with talismans. A protective sachet normally has ONE talisman. He stayed up after their 5-in-a-row games to make them. Gets rejected by Miaomiao. Later on, he forcefully gives her one that's just as nice as Liu Fuyi's. Presumably, he's been secretly working on perfecting his sachet making skills.

crossing his armmmmssss i LOVE how much he does that and how LITTLE fuyi does it. like absolute foils for each other. wait. are mu sheng and liu fuyi supposed to be two sides of ziqi? ive considered it but i dont know. blah, i dont want to talk about this right now, so many of you are much better at this than i am.

This would have been so interesting for the drama to explore! What does it mean that Fu Zhou had Mu Sheng marry Lin Yu (a woman that was in love with Liu Fuyi? Just a way to torture himself? I wish we got to see them interact more beyond that drinking their sorrows away scene.

Early on in the novel, Mu Sheng has a one-sided competition going on with Liu Fuyi. Liu Fuyi is oblivious to this. As he likes himself more, he does this less. By the final story arc, he doesn't react negatively when Liu Fuyi consoles him about something. He still gets jealous of Liu Fuyi, but he recognizes that it's his problem and that it isn't okay to act out his jealousy. Mu Sheng's precious character growth!

hes just so pretty, even blurred. AND SO IS YAO. mu siblings gorgeous genes even tho theyre not blood-related.

Pretty fan art of these three from xiaohongshu.

i find that on rewatch, i like cuicui less and less? i had no problem with him on my first watch, and he doesnt even do anything wrong. i think i just found it grating to go through his scenes again LOL. like goddammit just give me the romance and action!

My tipping point for Cuicui was ep 21. I wish we could have seen Miaomiao supporting Mu Sheng after he spits out blood during the battle scene instead of having to hold a 150-year old bamboo demon. It would make sense that CuiCui was stuck in his original form because of the pressure of the formation. His role is to help push them together, but he's always standing between them and literally keeping them apart. I can see why fans are so upset about his character on Weibo and Douban.

(Feel free to ignore this ranting. Got carried away. I get so annoyed whenever I think about this. 

Ep 23 was the final straw. I watch the drama at 2x speed in any scene he's in. In the novel, we have Miaomiao idly playing with Mu Sheng's hair and him getting super flustered. She handfeeds him her snacks or any food that she enjoys with him, but it has now become the exclusive-privilege of Cuicui.

In the last third of the novel, even when she's talking to someone else, she notices when Mu Sheng is sad. She has become as sensitive to him as he is to her. She reaches out to hold his hand when he sits down next to her. She half-hugs him and holds his hands to make dumplings. Just little moments.

Instead, we have this in the drama:

In ep 14, Mu Sheng walks away because he's upset and jealous. After a similar situation in the novel, MiaoMiao drank a bit to get courage and went to Mu Sheng's room to apologize for poking at his sore spot. She ends up drinking way too much. After she apologizes, she rambles on that she's worried about him. That he should like someone like her. That he would be happy with her. That she would pamper him. She kisses him on the cheek and then tries to wipe her rouge off his cheek. This is how Mu Sheng knows that Miaomiao likes him.

How did they go from this to needing a 10-year old child to progress their relationship? Cuicui spilling Miaomiao's crush to Mu Sheng even though she told him not to.)

Sorry, this got too long. I've never felt so frustrated by any drama character before. More than any other reason, Cuicui is the reason why I only re-watch up to ep 8. I was curious to read your thoughts on ep 9 because you've pointed out so many things I missed, so I continued. I can just scroll past the Cuicui parts.

THE STUNNED LOOK ON HIS FACE LMAO. hes like "what did i do? did i do something wrong?" but then hes thinking "she is way too upset about this. what is wrong with her?"

i think she also feels very, again, shy over this whole thing, because of the meaning of putting a ring on her finger in her world, and wants an excuse to get it off. which is why she asks for his demon staff. 

ziqi is so unserious. like not only does he not want to indulge in an emotional convo but he also has to pick on her and take personal offense.

miaomiao only taking fuyis hand. yeah thats on purpose.

say what youd like but i think he stares at her chest because he wants to confront her by looking at her face but cant, so he settles for that, then perhaps realizes that its inappropriate, so he looks back down. im just reading into things, thats what i do here.

Your observations are so fun to read! Would add a star to this drama's rating for it. Thank you for sharing!

lgief rewatch ep. 9

yay ep 9! lots of shy ziqi AND miaomiao moments~ thats basically most of what this episode is to me minus the few times miaomiao discusses her world/CD world and the novel storyline.

if youd like to discuss lgief, feel free to send me asks, chats, or reply to any of these posts.

ep 1 / ep 2 / ep 3 / ep 4 pre-festival / ep 4 festival / ep 5, 5 part 2 / ep 6 / ep 7 / ep 8 / ep 9

following up to the ending of ep 8, we see ziqi STILL HOLDING HER HAND after putting on the ring.

and when miaomiao rips her hand away, hes like "wtf?"

did they put rings on fingers back then for marriage (yes im too lazy to look it up, sue me)? regardless, this feels like, even if it is, ziqi is clueless regardless, because he has no romantic awareness.

he purses his lips because he feels like hes committed some faux pax, but he doesnt know what, so he has to ask. the way he asks is so gentle, he really wants to know ;_;

miaomiao doesnt wanna tell! i think she was truly feeling some attraction towards him in this moment, but shes shy, and if she tried to tell him, hed make fun of her, or he wouldnt get it.

THE STUNNED LOOK ON HIS FACE LMAO. hes like "what did i do? did i do something wrong?" but then hes thinking "she is way too upset about this. what is wrong with her?" and maybe he also, though this is just me making things up, felt some sort of jamais vu, perhaps.

cut to her feeling like shes just gotta drop it now because hes watching her and sent her here to practice.

he looks. so good.

LOL its so funny she says she doesnt think its as good as the ladle when it very clearly is. i think she just wanted to get out of training here.

the way that as SOON as she hears him take in a breath she says "dont call me stupid" and she can barely look him in the eye when she says that. hes so cute for obliging.

i think she also feels very, again, shy over this whole thing, because of the meaning of putting a ring on her finger in her world, and wants an excuse to get it off. which is why she asks for his demon staff. the way she shuffles over is so fucking funny. oh miaomiao, never change.

fully reblogged ver here

[angelastrology]

.

[so-sick-of-17]

I generally really think that taste is a personal thing and it shouldn’t have to please everyone. If someone likes something and it doesn’t impact my life, then why should I care? I love, tattoos, I follow a lot of tattoo pages on Instagram and posted a tattoo that is in the shape of a heart and looks like a really bad bruise. I guess it’s supposed to mean love hurts or some really stupid metaphor that borderline gives domestic violence, vibes. It is not my body and it does not matter that I dislike it. This tattoo and whoever likes it has no impact on my life. But I really think that people with such bad taste that they think that looks good , just shouldn’t exist. I might be a massive hypocrite but I don’t care. That might be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I’d be fine with one person getting a shitty tattoo, but having many comments thinking that it looks dope, nope!

[bettsfic]

one of the best decisions i've ever made was to stop arguing.

i'd always been an arguer. i was defensive about everything and mindlessly contrary. it wasn't all my fault; i was (and still am) talked down to and patronized a lot, and when you live your life that way, you become kind of a raw nerve and dedicate a lot of energy to trying to prove yourself. someone even told me once, "it's just fun messing with you. you get so upset."

at 23, i was working in an environment where about a half dozen middle aged conservative men were always telling me what to do and explaining things to me. i either argued with them when they said heinous things or stewed about it for hours or even days. and so my new year's resolution one year was simply: no arguing.

it felt a little like defeat at first, like i was no longer standing up for what i believed in, even though no matter how right i was or how much proof i had for my claims, no one had ever been swayed by anything i told them. part of that was because they had no respect for me and didn't take me seriously; the other part was the simple truth that arguments are almost never productive. when someone says something and you immediately reply with, "you're wrong and here's why," a wall goes up and nothing can go over it.

i couldn't just let these men talk at me though, so i started asking questions. not leading questions, not with an intention to prove a point or walk them into a corner. i genuinely wanted to understand how they came to shape the opinions they held. i realized that understanding and agreeing are two different things, and just because i seek to understand doesn't mean i condone.

a truly fascinating thing happened: these men walked into corners all by themselves. it turns out nobody had ever actually tasked them with speaking their opinions aloud to a neutral audience. no one had ever been sincerely curious about them and their views. sure, their loved ones probably asked, "how are you doing?" all the time as a show of affection, but that's much different than, "what do you think?"

knowing what i know now, i think that's true of everyone. how many people ask you for your opinion and listen to what you have to say without speaking their opinion back to you? without judging you? how many people actively and intentionally try to understand you?

it's been over ten years since my resolution and i think i can count the arguments i've gotten into on one hand. one finger, even. it's amazing what happens when someone tries to rile you up, pick a fight with you, and your only response is, "can you elaborate on that?"

you can work someone into a very open and vulnerable state when you ask questions. they eventually run out of their usual talking points and move into the personal. when i do this, it's not like therapy; i'm not trying to help anyone. and it's not like teaching; i'm not trying to educate anyone. i just want to understand how people reach the conclusions they've come to. even after all these years of asking questions and not arguing, it still amazes me how few people in this world feel understood, and how easy it is to get them to open up when you say, "i want to know what you think."

[embbarnes]

Just As You Are. | B.B

summary: He tries his best for Valentine's Day.

warnings: Smut | 18+ MDNI | Fluff | CW!Bucky x Fem!reader | Cunnilingus | PiV sex | Light dirty talk | Unprotected sex | Slightly insecure Bucky

a/n: I'm not big into Valentine's Day just because it feels very commercialized to me, but I like imagining it with Bucky. This plot changed so many times lmao but I think I am satisfied with how this turned out. If you're allergic to strawberries, just imagine a different fruit. Not beta read. ;; wc: 4.2k

Bucky stood motionless in the bustling store, his steely eyes fixed with a deep frown upon the endless aisle dedicated to Valentine's Day merchandise.

He didn't remember it being so...big back in the day. The sheer volume of products and options left him feeling completely overwhelmed, his mind drifting back to simpler times when a thoughtful bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate were considered more than acceptable tokens of affection for your sweetheart.

Now, he watched as frantic shoppers rushed past him, their arms laden with elaborate bouquets, towers of candy boxes, and enormous stuffed bears that seemed to grow more ridiculously sized with each passing year.

There were some shoppers who took a different approach, selecting items for personalized gift baskets filled with practical things like cozy socks or fragrant bath bombs. That seemed more personalized with his old-fashioned sensibilities, but you weren't particularly fond of long soaks in the tub, making that option feel somehow inadequate.

A wave of insecurity washed over him unexpectedly. Despite knowing that you had never once demonstrated materialistic tendencies or pressured him for presents, he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that he should be showering you with gifts. Traditional values ingrained in him insisted that as the man in the relationship, this was his role to fulfill. His heart warmed slightly at the mental image of you beaming with delight over an armful of fresh flowers or savoring each piece from a velvet-lined, heart-shaped box of premium, ridiculously expensive chocolates.

Truthfully, he felt completely lost about what would be the perfect gift for you. The confident, charming young man he used to be - the one who could effortlessly capture a lady's attention with just a well-timed smile or clever word - seemed like a stranger from another lifetime. These days, the gazes that would drift to him were filled with suspicion and barely concealed hostility.

Defeated and increasingly anxious, Bucky turned away from the crowded store aisle, his mind spinning with uncertainty as he struggled to think of what to get you for this special occasion. As he made his way through the bustling shop, he passed by an enthusiastic florist who was eagerly displaying enormous bouquets of perfectly arranged, vibrant red roses.

The vendor was encouraging every passing customer to purchase one, his sales pitch well-rehearsed and persistent. The sight made Bucky recall a conversation from several months ago, where you had expressed your views on traditional romantic gestures. You explained that while roses were undeniably a sweet and romantic gesture, they felt somewhat predictable and conventional to you. Too ordinary, you had said, preferring instead gifts that showed genuine thought and consideration.

"Sure, roses are beautiful. I think they're a wonderful gift for birthdays or valentine's, whatever. But...I don't know. Everyone gets roses. I would be happy but it would also sort of feel like you didn't really try, since they're so abundant and common. It makes them feel less special. Hopefully that doesn't make me sound snobbish. I'd rather get a more personalized bouquet or...one with my favorite flowers instead." You glanced up at Bucky who was nodding and listening, remembering, for later.

Though the roses were beautiful, their pristine petals catching the store's fluorescent lighting to aid in their deep crimson coloration, Bucky could practically envision the polite but slightly underwhelmed expression that would cross your face if he chose such a common option.

Plus...why were flowers so expensive these days? A dozen roses for almost a hundred dollars? The modern pricing was ridiculous - back in his day, that kind of money could have bought several weeks' worth of groceries. Besides, a lot of the bouquets contained wilted flowers. If he got you a bouquet, each and every flower would be alive and well.

He didn't want to leave without getting you something special, something that would bring a genuine smile to your face. He stood there for several long moments, running his flesh hand through his hair as he considered what kind of gift would truly resonate with you, something that would perfectly balance thoughtfulness with appropriateness while still managing to surprise you.

After spending what felt like hours wandering through the store's aisles and watching other men pick the big red hearts off the shelves without a second thought, he began to carefully examine each heart-shaped box of chocolates, reading every label and ingredient list to ensure he found the exact type of varieties you had mentioned loving. Finally satisfied with a winner, he put it in the basket he grabbed.

Moving through the store, he made his way to the stuffed animal section, where he spent considerable time comparing different plush versions of your favorite animal, wanting to select the one with the perfect expression and the softest fur. That one looked too grumpy, that one looked lopsided, that one wasn’t proportioned right - but he found the perfect one.

Then rather than settling for a pre-arranged bouquet, he thoughtfully handpicked each individual flower, remembering all the times you had pointed out different blooms during your walks together, creating a personalized arrangement that represented all your favorites. Even with the care and attention he put into each gift selection, a nagging feeling of inadequacy crept in - everything he chose, while thoughtful, still felt too ordinary.

Bucky shook his head and paid for the items, ignoring the feeling.

Back at home, he arranged everything perfectly. He individually wrapped each item, positioning them precisely in the basket alongside the plush animal and chocolates. Taking his time with the flowers, he trimmed each stem at exactly the right angle and arranged them in the vase until the composition was just right. When Bucky finally stepped back to assess his work, his heart sank slightly, and he let out a frustrated sigh.

The entire arrangement somehow still didn't feel special or unique enough.

Alpine gracefully leapt onto the counter, her blue eyes focusing intently on the array of gifts laid out. She lowered her head, her pink nose twitching as she investigated each item curiously. "What do you think, girl...good enough?" Bucky asked softly, his fingers running through the ragdoll's silky fur as he gently stroked from her head down along her back.

After her inspection, Alpine cast one final, contemplative glance at the presents. Then, with typical cat-like indifference, she turned away from them, her fluffy tail held high like a banner as she delicately padded across the counter to the edge, and descended to the floor with one smooth leap.

"Bad, huh?" Bucky released a heavy sigh, his eyes lingering on the carefully chosen gifts as waves of uncertainty began to wash over him, his anxiety gradually creeping in and eating away at him.

He didn't have more time to wrestle with his uncertainties as the sound of keys jingling at the front door caught his attention. You made your entrance quicker than he had anticipated, your exhausted form slowly making its way through the doorway after what was clearly an demanding day at work. You kicked off your shoes in a haphazard manner, letting them land wherever they might. The weariness etched across your features told him everything he needed to know about the challenging nature of your workday.

"Hey," Bucky offered in greeting as he made his way over to you in the entryway, his mind racing as he tried to keep you from noticing the carefully prepared gifts just yet. Perhaps if he could buy himself a little more time, he might figure out something better to give you than the basic gifts.

A soft, tired grumble was all you could muster in response, though the gentle warmth in his eyes worked its magic in lifting your spirits considerably. "Hey..." you murmured an actual response, crossing the space between you to wrap your arms around his sturdy frame. He gladly hugged you back, letting you bury yourself against him.

The thought of spending the entire day at home with him had been your secret wish throughout your shift, but responsibilities couldn't be ignored. He had promised to make the evening special, and that thought alone helped you persevere through the long hours of your workday.

Bucky thought fast, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze with those intense steel-blue eyes. "How about a hot bath? I can get one ready for you, make it nice and warm - it'll be perfect for those sore muscles of yours...plus, I know you’ve been on your feet all day." He offered gently, his flesh hand coming up to brush a strand of hair from your face. A playful smirk slowly spread across his lips as he added, "I could even feed you some fresh strawberries while you relax..."

"Ugh, that sounds so heavenly right now..." You agreed with a soft, appreciative moan, already imagining the soothing warmth of the water and the sweet taste of cool fruit.

Bucky made his way to the bathroom, wanting to create the perfect relaxing atmosphere for you after your long day. He tested the water temperature with his flesh hand until it reached that ideal warmth you always preferred, then clogged the drain.

While the tub filled, he selected your favorite aromatherapy soap, watching as it created billowing clouds of soft, luxurious bubbles that released that soothing scent you loved so much. He also scattered rose petals across the surface - special ones he had purchased with your other gifts. They would slowly dissolve into the water, but for now they created a nice, romantic display as they rested atop the peaks of foam.

In the bedroom, you gradually shed your work uniform, letting each piece fall away with relief before walking into the bathroom to meet him. He remained unaware of your presence for a moment until he turned, and when he did, he took the chance to admire you. Bucky rose up to his full height and approached you, his hands finding their familiar place on your hips. "You're so beautiful, doll..." he murmured, his voice full of affection as he leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your cheek, before adding, "Bath's all ready..."

"It looks perfect," you replied in an equally soft and tired tone, carefully stepping into the steaming bath water and sinking down with a contented moan.

God, it felt absolutely amazing - after countless exhausting days of non-stop work, your muscles were crying out for relief. Your back and neck were especially sore from hunching over your desk for hours on end. The perfectly heated water enveloped your body like a warm hug, melting away the tension and aches that had built up over time. The chosen aromatherapy oils filled the air with a soothing blend of lavender and eucalyptus that relaxed you even further.

"Thank you, Bucky... this is... exactly what I needed," you mumbled appreciatively, slowly sinking lower into the luxurious bath until the fragrant bubble clouds rose around your shoulders like a soft blanket.

Bucky's lip quirked up with a gentle, knowing smile as he reached for a plump strawberry from the delicate pink crystal bowl beside the tub. His eyes sparkled with affection as he held the fruit up teasingly, "Of course doll... now open wide~"

"Tease," you said playfully, leaning for the strawberry he held between his fingers. You gladly accepted the offering, letting your lips brush against the plump, red fruit before taking a delicate bite. The sweetness burst across your tongue as you savored each moment, watching his expression intently. Unable to resist the temptation, you gently caught his finger between your lips, your tongue darting out to taste the lingering juice - a deliberately cheeky move to provoke a reaction.

Bucky's eyes darkened as he watched you, a knowing smile spreading slowly across his face. His fingers twitched slightly at the sensation of your tongue, and he leaned in closer. "Don't start something you can't finish, doll..." he warned in a low, honeyed voice that made you shiver, even in the steaming water. "You know exactly what'll happen. Besides, it's Valentine's Day..." He reached out to trace your jawline with his thumb, his touch feather-light and promising. "...I'll make it all about you..."

You couldn't resist the temptation that coursed through you, causing you to slowly emerge from the water just enough to delicately capture his hand between your teeth and deliver a playful nip. Your lips ghosted across his wrist and laid a kiss, "I think I wanna see what you mean..."

That's how you ended up on the bed with his face between your legs.

Your swollen, sensitive pussy being devoured by the soldier keeping your legs spread open. His tongue flatly lapped at you before he would encase your delicate clit in his lips and desperately suckle. The alternating movements kept you close enough to the brink of orgasm, but he wouldn't let you finish all the way yet.

"Bucky! Pl-please," you cried out desperately as he suctioned to your throbbing clit once more, his skilled tongue working magic against your sensitive bud. Your trembling hands clung tightly to the twisted sheets below your hips, your knuckles turning white from the intensity of your grip. Your cheeks were deeply flushed as tears of pleasure pricked at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over.

It felt so fucking good - Bucky always dove into you like a starved man who hadn't tasted such sweetness in decades, you were a fruit from Eden and he wouldn’t stop until he has had all of you.

Which was kind of true, until you two had started dating and everything changed. Over time, he gradually gained the confidence he needed, becoming more and more comfortable with engaging in intimate acts. The hesitation that had once held him back melted away completely, and once that newfound bravado took over, he became a passionate and attentive lover who knew exactly how to make you come undone.

Bucky growled against you, tugging you even closer as he kept his face against your folds and lapped at you repeatedly. His eyes would peek at your expression from time to time, but he mostly kept them closed, purely focusing on your taste. So sweet and delectable, you were his favorite thing to lap up and devour. He never wanted to stop. This was his favorite thing ever. Being the source of your pleasure and hearing how you whined and squirmed underneath him.

"Come for me, baby...come on. Give it to me." He muffled against you as his tongue continued to move up and down with his repetitive licks, getting your juices and making sure to run over that swollen bud.

Fuck, you were. You were going to.

You moaned loudly as waves of pleasure coursed through your body, the tense burning sensation gradually building deep in your belly while your legs trembled uncontrollably. Bucky kept a firm hold on your legs, keeping himself buried in your pussy as he continued his feast. Heat radiated outward as you began to feel your nerves come alive, electric sensations traveling from your core and flowing down through your limbs to the tips of your fingers and toes. The pressure continued mounting until finally, everything began slowly blossoming and unwinding into an overwhelming, desperate climax.

When he pulled away from your folds, his face and dark scruff were thoroughly soaked with your juices. The smug, satisfied bastard slowly licked his lips and began climbing over your shaking body, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses from your sensitive belly all the way up to the crook of your neck. "Y'r so soft...god, I love every inch of you," he whispered in that husky, desire-laden voice as his lips grazed the shell of your ear.

"Bucky..." You whined needily, the desperate tone in your voice betraying just how affected you were, but you couldn't bring yourself to care - you were absolutely burning with desire for him. The delicious scratching sensation of his rough scruff against your skin felt absolutely divine, and you couldn't help but nuzzle your cheek against his strong jaw, seeking more of that friction. Your responsive action drew a knowing smile from Bucky as he pressed his body more firmly against yours, allowing his head to respond to your pressure and reaching his hand down to carefully position himself against you.

"Easy, my beautiful girl...I promise I'll give you everything you want and need. My perfect doll...just lay still for me, just like that...looking so gorgeous spread out underneath me..." He praised in that gentle, soothing voice that you normally adored, but in your current state of desperate arousal, his sweet words only served to turn you on even more. Something about it drove you insane.

When he finally breached you, your body arched off the bed and your hands immediately grabbed onto him, mindful not to claw at his heavily scarred shoulder.

The moan that escaped from between your parted lips was abruptly silenced as he captured your mouth with his own. The lingering taste of your pleasure danced on his tongue as it skillfully glided past your own, delving deeper to thoroughly explore every corner of your mouth. A deep, resonant hum of satisfaction rumbled in the soldier's chest and vibrated against your lips as he pressed into the kiss with mounting intensity, perfectly matching the quickening rhythm of the increasingly passionate snaps his hips made against you.

The gentle slapping that filled the room was drowned out by your cries of unison - the two of you spewing groans and moans of all kinds as his cockhead repeatedly kissed your cervix and coated it with his precum. The gummy walls of your tight cunt continued to squeeze and massage his cock with each little movement you made squirming beneath him and listening to his lower pitched sounds of pleasure.

"Bucky...ah, feels so good...feel so full," you whined and fell back onto the sheets, ignoring the gentle bulge that appeared beneath your skin each time he hilted himself inside you.

"So perfect for me, doll...made for me, made for my cock," he whispered with reverence, his voice thick and heavy. He leaned down, pressing hard, passionate kisses against your neck, which you willingly allowed. You tilted your head back, exposing more of your sensitive skin to him as he skillfully left a trail of bites and gentle purple bruises blooming across your flesh.

Prettier than any of those damned flowers he saw today.

"R'member when I bit all over you... 'round Christmas? I was so lost and confused back then and..nngh...all I knew was you. All I could think about was you. All I ever wanted was you...completely all to myself..." His voice came out rough and broken between desperate grunts as his hips pistoned at an increasingly frantic pace, his movements becoming more urgent with each thrust.

"Ah, yes...I remember it...you were so needy," You gasped breathlessly, a small knowing chuckle escaping your lips as you eagerly took him harder.

"Now look who's being needy...f-feel you squeezing around me so tight..." Bucky hissed through clenched teeth as he pushed even deeper inside you, his thick cock swelling noticeably with his rapidly approaching orgasm.

"Come for me, Buck Buck...I want it inside. Want you to fill me up," You reached up to him, yearning for more, pulling him down closer until you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. His silken hair cascaded down like a brilliant curtain, framing his face while he let out pants from slightly parted lips. The cool metal of his hand gripped firmly at the meat of your thigh, his touch both gentle and possessive, chilling the skin beneath it.

Bucky ducked his face down and pressed closer to you, a deep groan tore through his throat as his rapid thrusts finally stilled - you felt his thick member twitching inside you as he coated your pretty velvet walls in his cum. As his orgasm washed over him and made him thrust a few more times for good measure, the overwhelming sensation brought you to yours again.

You both panted, breathing heavily in unison as you relished in the feeling of him still tucked inside you, thick cum oozing out as you let out soft laughs together.

"That was absolutely incredible..." You breathed out in a contented sigh, your voice thick with emotion, "I love you so much..." Your lips tenderly found his in a series of gentle, loving pecks, while your fingers delicately traced patterns across his cheek, savoring the warmth of his skin.

"I love you too, babydoll. And actually, I have something special waiting for you in the kitchen..." He began, his eyes flickering towards the doorway. With a knowing smile, you gently guided his face back to yours, your fingers lingering on his jaw.

"Would that happen to be that beautiful arrangement of flowers and those decadent chocolates I spotted sat next to an adorable plushie?"

"Wait, what? How did you -"

"I saw the setup when you were preparing my bath earlier...sweetheart, you really shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. I feel terrible now." You propped yourself up slightly on your elbows, guilt evident in your voice. "Work has been so hectic lately, I didn't even manage to find time to get you anything..."

He drew you even closer into his warm embrace and gently rolled both of you onto your sides. As his softened length slipped free, you nearly whimpered at the loss of connection, you held the pout back for now. "Doll, you should know by now that I don't need fancy gifts or presents. What matters most to me is having you here, sharing these moments together.” He winked playfully before returning to a more serious tone, “You coming home to me is the greatest gift I could ask for. And you know what? The night's still young - we could curl up together and watch a movie, if you'd like..."

You smiled and nodded, letting out a soft chuckle. "That sounds wonderful, but I really think we should freshen up first...things got pretty messy and you made me feel all sticky." You whispered with a playful lilt in your voice, carefully lifting yourself from the tangled sheets. As you made your way towards the bathroom, your hips swayed flirtatiously, each step a teasing invitation. Pausing at the doorway, you glanced over your shoulder with a mischievous glint in your eyes. "C'mon baby...if you're good, I’ll do that thing you always like..."

His reaction was instantaneous.

Like a coiled spring suddenly released, Bucky leapt from the bed with the same sharp reflexes from his military days - every muscle alert and ready. His blue eyes darkened with desire as a roguish grin spread across his face. "Yes ma'am," he responded, voice husky with anticipation. In two swift strides, he crossed the room and swept you up into his strong arms, making you squeal and laugh with surprise, cradling you against his chest as he carried you eagerly toward the shower.

When your feet touched the cool tile of the bathroom floor, Bucky was already eagerly anticipating another passionate moment together, but you gently placed your hands against his firm chest, causing him to pause. Your eyes met his as you spoke softly but earnestly, "And just so you know, everything you got me was absolutely perfect. I love it all so much. You really shouldn't have gone to all this trouble - just spending the evening together would have been more than enough for me, but...everything you did get makes me feel so special. The arranged bouquet with all those beautiful flowers, the adorable plushie of my favorite animal, and those delicious chocolates...it's all too much. You are perfect."

Bucky felt an overwhelming wave of relief wash over him at your heartfelt words, the tension he hadn't even realized he'd been carrying suddenly melting away. His voice was tender, slightly hesitant as he responded, "O-oh... yeah, of course. I...I really wanted to make tonight special for you in every way possible. I picked all your favorite colors and included those specific flowers you always stop to admire during our walks together...and I made absolutely certain the chocolates only contained ingredients and flavors I know you enjoy...and found you a soft, cuddle buddy to keep you company when I have to be away." He ducked his head slightly, a faint blush coloring his cheeks as he added with endearing awkwardness, "Besides Alpine, of course."

"Yeah, whenever she's in one of her affectionate moods and decides it's snuggle time," you added with a gentle, warm chuckle, your eyes crinkling at the corners. He swore his heart beat faster each time he saw those delicate lines. "You are enough, Bucky." You gazed deeply into his eyes, taking in every flicker of emotion that passed through them, before offering him a tender, reassuring smile.

Your hand came up to cup his cheek as you leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his lips, feeling the tension slowly melt away from his body as he relaxed against you. Drawing back just enough to meet his gaze again, you whispered to him with absolute conviction so he could feel the words as much as possible.

"You are always enough, and don't you ever doubt that for a second..."

Thanks for reading. -em 🌿

Dividers by @/strangergraphics | Images found on Pinterest.

[estrellade]

need to find a better way to express that i'm not a person

[sofiatarot]

Pick a card: Let me describe you...

Your energy, the way you might come across to others, and how I personally would feel if I met you

TIP JAR - FREE READINGS - PAID READINGS

1.2

3.4

Group 1

Cards: king of wands, 2 of cups, ace of pentacles (reversed), king of cups, page of cups (reversed)

You radiate confidence and ambition, with an undeniable spark of leadership that naturally draws people toward you. The king of wands and king of cups suggest a unique balance of fiery determination and emotional depth, making you both bold and compassionate. You inspire trust and admiration, often becoming the go-to person for advice or leadership in your circles. People likely see you as a visionary, someone who isn't afraid to take risks and pursue what truly matters to you.

Yet there’s a vulnerability beneath your strength. The reversed ace of pentacles and page of cups hint at moments where self-doubt or fear of failure might hold you back. You may occasionally struggle to believe in the value of your ideas or hesitate to fully invest in opportunities that align with your passions. This duality adds complexity to your character, making you both relatable and admirable.

If I met you, I would feel deeply inspired by your energy. Being around you would feel like sitting by a warm fire, energizing and comforting at the same time. However, your intensity might be a little intimidating, and I’d feel a need to rise to your level of passion and ambition. You seem like someone who would push me to grow, not by demanding it, but simply by being yourself.

At your core, you crave genuine connection, as shown by the 2 of cups. You’re someone who values partnership and mutual understanding, but you might not always show it openly. If we crossed paths, I would feel like I’d met a kindred spirit, someone who challenges me intellectually and emotionally while still offering unwavering support.

Group 2

Cards: Ace of cups, 4 of cups, ace of swords, death, queen of pentacles.

Your energy is both deep and transformative. The ace of cups suggests you have a beautiful, open heart, capable of immense love and emotional depth. However, the 4 of cups hints at moments where you might feel disconnected or uninspired, as if you’re waiting for something (or someone)to reignite your spark. You’re introspective, often searching for meaning in life, and this self-awareness gives you a profound emotional intelligence.

The combination of the death card and the queen of pentacles shows that you are no stranger to transformation. You’ve likely experienced significant changes in your life, which have shaped you into a resilient and grounded individual. You have the ability to let go of what no longer serves you, even when it’s difficult, and this makes you a source of quiet strength for those around you. People admire your ability to reinvent yourself and find stability amidst chaos.

If I met you, I think I’d feel a sense of calm but also curiosity. You carry a wisdom that would make me want to sit and listen to your stories, to understand the lessons life has taught you. At the same time, your energy might feel challenging—pushing me to question my own comfort zones and to grow emotionally and spiritually.

You seem like someone who values depth and authenticity in relationships. While you may not easily let people into your inner world, those who earn your trust are met with unwavering loyalty and care. I would likely feel deeply connected to you, appreciating the way you balance nurturing energy with a sense of quiet, transformative power.

Group 3

Cards: page of swords, the hierophant, the sun, king of cups (reversed), the moon (reversed), 10 of pentacles

Your energy is curious, vibrant, and deeply intellectual. You have a sharp mind and a thirst for knowledge, always eager to learn and explore new ideas. The page of swords shows your inquisitive nature, while The hierophant reflects your respect for tradition and a desire to find structure or meaning in life. You balance this intellectual pursuit with a natural joy and optimism, as shown by the sun, making you a beacon of light for others.

However, the reversed king of cups and moon suggest that beneath your bright exterior lies a more complex emotional world. You may sometimes struggle to fully understand or articulate your emotions, leaving you feeling vulnerable or misunderstood. Despite this, your energy remains grounded, and you’re someone who values honesty and clarity in both yourself and others.

If I met you, I think I’d feel like I was stepping into a world of endless possibilities. Your curiosity and enthusiasm would be contagious, making me want to explore new ideas and embrace life more fully. At the same time, I might sense your hidden emotional struggles, feeling a desire to support you and help you uncover your true feelings. You seem like someone who would bring both light and depth into my life.

Your connection to the 10 of pentacles suggests a deep appreciation for family, legacy, and building something lasting. You’re someone who dreams big and works hard to create a stable and fulfilling life, not just for yourself but for those you love. I would feel both inspired and grounded in your presence, appreciating the way you blend intellect, joy, and a deep sense of purpose.

Group 4

Cards: the hanged man, 2 of swords, 7 of cups (reversed), 8 of Pentacles, ace of cups (reversed), queen of pentacles

Your energy is introspective, patient, and highly grounded. The hanged man suggests that you have a unique perspective on life, often taking the time to reflect deeply before making decisions. While the 2 of swords hints at occasional indecision or hesitation, the reversed 7 of cups shows that you have a clear sense of your priorities and are focused on what truly matters. You’re someone who works hard, as shown by the 8 of pentacles, and your dedication inspires those around you.

However, the reversed ace of cups indicates that you might sometimes struggle to open up emotionally. You could be protective of your heart, preferring to show love through actions rather than words. The queen of pentacles highlights your nurturing and practical side, making you a reliable and comforting presence in any relationship. People likely turn to you for guidance and support, knowing that you’ll provide both wisdom and stability.

If I met you, I think I’d feel at ease in your presence. You’d make me feel safe and supported, like I could share my thoughts without fear of judgment. At the same time, your introspective nature might make me curious about the layers beneath your calm exterior. I’d feel drawn to your quiet strength and inspired by your commitment to your goals and values.

You seem like someone who values simplicity and authenticity, preferring meaningful connections over superficial interactions. Your energy is grounding and healing, and I think I’d walk away from our meeting feeling more centered and focused. You have a way of reminding people of what’s truly important in life, and that’s a gift not everyone possesses.

xoxo💕

[technoturian]

Regardless of my feelings about the BoS as a whole in the Fallout series, Maximus as a character exceeded all my expectations.

Maximus, honestly, to me, was the most nuanced and best acted character in the series. His situations were fantastical and yet the way he reacted to it all was so grounded. He was like a prestige drama character in a series full of cartoons. Don't get me wrong, I like the cartoons. Fallout leans heavily into parody and it's totally on brand. But Maximus' entire emotional arc was so understated and I really appreciated it.

He isn't a very vocal OR excessively emotive character because he knows being vulnerable hurts him. He shapes himself to that idealized memory of the knight in the armor even as he doesn't seem to really understand or care for the beliefs behind the armor. He's failing his classes as an aspirant. When talking of the BoS beliefs, he throws in a "or whatever". That part of it doesn't matter to him. The armor IS his belief system.

His whole story is about the cycle of violence and toxicity. The bullies who beat him. The abuse he endures. He wants power so that he can escape it but once he gets that chance he's doomed to perpetuate it, because that power is coming from the system. It's tainted. Deep down he doesn't want revenge, he doesn't even want power for power's sake, he wants safety. And he wants to be the hero from his memory, he wants the strength to save himself from this cycle.

And yet, he just keeps making he wrong choices. Over and over and over. He can't get out of it.

And then Lucy throws him a lifeline. And it takes someone from outside of the cycle to break through. And then he makes the choice to do the right thing even though it means making himself weaker, making himself less safe. He chooses to do the right thing for the first time in the show. And it means finally letting go of his dream, the armor.

And he sees a light at the end of the tunnel. He thinks his reward is going to be Vault 33, he's going to be safe and happy with someone who cares about him and makes him feel like a real, good person.

And by the end of the series, he's trapped in the cycle again.

There is just something so delicious about someone getting everything they wanted at the start and being miserable about it. There's something so REAL about wanting to be something but every instinct makes you sabotage yourself every step of the way.

And the thing is, he had all of these little moments of genuineness, selfishness, pettiness, virtue, I genuinely didn't know what he was going to do for most of the show. I thought he might turn on Lucy at some point. I honestly, truly thought he had sabotaged Dane even though Dane was his only friend. He is so morally hard to pin down because he's so full of life's little hypocrisies. His ideals and his feelings are in conflict so much and he doesn't have to look anguished for you to understand that. You just see it in his resigned stares, in his hesitance and his ultimate actions.

I just... I really loved Maximus. Bravo to Aaron Moten.

[lenorenevermore99]

Why 457 is actually valid af and not just a "joke" ship

I wanna start this by saying that I'm in no way, shape or form convinced 457 is canon nor I think there will be anything remotely romantic between the two of them in season 3. But people seem to think it's just a joke inside the fandom, while actually, their dynamic is pretty fucking valid and I want to analyze that in this post.

One of the most discussed things (if not the most) when it comes to this ship is the stares.

Some think this is the stare of love, others think In-ho just enjoys seeing him suffer. Well, let me tell you it is neither.

But before we delve into the way In-ho stares at Gi-hun, we first have to go back to talk about Hwang In-ho as a character.

As we know, Hwang In-ho is the Winner of the 2015 Squid Game. He went into the games so he could have the money to treat his sick, pregnant wife, much like Gi-hun who did the same for his sick mother. Both of them won the game, but both of them were too late to save the person they loved from a sad fate.

This lead to In-ho becoming the Frontman. We don't know exactly what happened in the timeframe between him winning and him becoming the Frontman, but we can safely assume that after loosing his wife, In-ho lost faith in humanity. The games have destroyed him, they turned him into the villain he is today.

And the thing is, when he looks at Gi-hun, he sees his past self in him. This was confirmed by both Lee Byung Hun (In-ho's actor) and the director of the show himself.

Or to be more precise, he sees his past self. He sees who he was before the games changed him. And this is what led to his fascination and obsession with Gi-hun, because here's the thing; the games traumatized Gi-hun, but they didn't break his faith and hope in humanity, like they did with In-ho himself.

And this is the thing that, in my view, both fascinates and deeply angers In-ho. Deep inside, subconsciously, he is thinking, "Why were YOU able to retain your hope in humanity? Why were you able to remain a good person when I couldn't?"

In-ho was genuine when he told Gi-hun he wished he'd try to be happy after winning (or to better say, surviving) the games. I find it especially interesting when he tells him "Just pretend it was all a dream."

In-ho wishes he could pretend it was all a dream, but he couldn't. Think about it: he's a billionaire, but he lives in a shitty, small apartment. He doesn't talk to his mother, he doesn't talk to his brother, he doesn't even go visit his wife at the cemetery. Pardon me for borrowing the phrase from The Hunger Games, but he's not living the life of a victor. whether it's because he feels guilty or something else, I guess we'll find out in the next season, but that's not the point. The point is, that In-ho wants Gi-hun to do what he wasn't able to do after he won. He wants him to be happy because he sees himself in Gi-hun.

This is the most important point in this post.

Now I wanna focus on these moments. During the second game, during mingle, and during the lights-out massacre, we see Gi-hun being absolutely destroyed over the players that were killed. He's undoubtedly blaming himself for it. And here we see In-ho staring at him, not with the look of love, not with joy at his suffering, but with sorrow. He's sad for Gi-hun, because he could have spared himself further suffering if he didn't stubbornly decide to go back into the games.

What In-ho is thinking right here, in my view, is; "See? There is no hope. There is nothing you can do. Stop torturing yourself, just give it up already. How much more pain do you have to go through before you give up? Accept you can do nothing and go on with your life. Try to be happy."

Now you might be asking, okay, but what does that have to do with romantic love?

Well let me tell you that these feelings I just described can easily and quickly turn into love.

Many philosophers over the centuries have come to the same conclusion; we see part of ourselves in the people we fall in love with.

"The Front Man believes that Gi-hun is wrong in his way of thinking, but perhaps, he reflects on himself through Gi-hun. He does want to destroy Gi-hun's belief. I felt that a small part of him, unknowingly, might be hoping for Gi-hun's thoughts to be right. And rooting for him in some way."

These words Lee Byung Hun said about In-ho, makes me think of Jacques Lacan's theory in particular (which is a rather complex topic and I will try to summarize as shortly and as simply as I can).

For Lacan, love, at least in the beginning, is essentially a form of narcissism. When we fall in love, we're also falling in love with ourselves. We see ourselves in the other person, but we also see in the other what we subconsciously think we are lacking in ourselves. Which doesn't mean the other person will fix us because, at least according to Lacan, this lack is something that can never actually be "fixed".

And I think that's exactly was is happening with In-ho. He sees in Gi-hun what he's lacking in himself. They were traumatized the same way, but reacted in two completely different manners. In-ho became cruel and disillusioned with humanity, while Gi-hun still believes in humanity and wants to save everyone.

I know that this way, 457 seems like a one-sided kind of love, but that's honestly my personal interpretation of the ship. I think Gi-hun could have fallen for Young-il, for the person In-ho was before the games, if they had more time. But the Frontman In-ho? The person he became after becoming the Frontman? There's no way.

Not all loves are meant to happen, not all lovers get to be lovers. Some are meant to just leave us wondering what could have been. Which is what makes transformative works so fun and interesting! From the canonverse toxic fics to the wholesome alternative universe flower shop fics, I think their dynamic is valid as fuck.

I rest my case.

[huellitaa]

𓏲˳˚⊹ 🧸 become obsessed with yourself.

you are stupid. i said it. there. you are stupid.

let me get this straight. you are out here listening to these people who make you insecure. you are listening and actually giving a shit about people who put you down, make you feel unworthy, inferior, less of the absolute goddess that you are. you people please, you go above and beyond to help people & change yourself for people who would never do the same and for what. for people to like you? honey nobodys gonna like you. you dont even like yourself.

listen ml you need to get your priorities straight. sit down for a sec. like. just sit and genuinely ask yourself "what do i get out of this? how does this serve me?". go on, ask yourself. all these people who constantly think theyre better than you, that they can walk all over you, the ones that dont care a bit for you with their actions even if their words say otherwise, all these habits that only make you feel more low, more insecure, and dont align with where you wanna go in any way, shape or form. honey how in the hell does any of this serve you ???😭😭

i am sick to death of seeing the word selfish everywhere the moment somebody steps up and is brave enough to try and better themselves. the amount of times ive gotten "youre so selfish" or "youve changed" or "you werent like this before" jst because i got out of the most severe depression of my life where i came close to being unalive so many times is riDICULOUS and just shows how normalised insecurity and people pleasing is nowadays.

you see, people are always trying to follow the trend, follow the leader, follow everyone else nowadays. nobody actually honours what they want & that is a reflection of their own insecurity and traumas and emotions they are too scared to face. do you really want that for yourself? youve got such big dreams, such big potential, but what on earth do you do to fulfill them?

i dont think you realise just how limitless you actually are. you can do anything. we are all born the same. its only those with the courage to get up and try who will reach what they want and achieve greater things.

GET OBSESSED WITH YOURSELF. i am so DRAINED and TIRED of caring about what people think. i like something? im gonna do it. i dont care. fuck people pleasing. what are they gonna do when youre rich and famous and successful and thriving? YOU ARE THE ONLY VALIDATION YOU NEED. life is so much easier when you genuinely could not care less, like you just dont give a single shit. you are the only person who knows you inside out and will be there with you 24/7 365. it infuriates me how self hatred is so normalised nowadays. like what the actual fuck, why would you wanna spend your entire life hating the only person whos gonna be with you every second without fail, when you are perfectly capable of reversing that???? its ridiculous.

get up. get obsessed with yourself. the only validation you should be chasing is your own. pull yourself together girl. this is ridiculous. you are so much more than this. start acting like it. be ur own biggest fan. be ur own bestest friend. everything you need is already within you. u got this. 💕

all my love 💓✨💗💘🎀💖

[ultimateloserboy]

Bill Cipher Analysis Post ‼️

(I could be wrong about some things since the book is fresh, feel free to expand this post or correct me! May be a little edited as well!)

To start things off: William Mischief Cipher, (yes thats his actual name) is a dream demon from another dimension. To be specific, the second dimension.

Despite Bill being a literal shape— and also a demigod— it’s implied that Bill had a human-like childhood. He had a normal mother and father, he went to school, and overall seemed to have a normal life. The problem, however, was that he was born with powers completely unknown to his dimension.

Bills world was 2D, meaning there was no up or down. It’s hard for us to grasp the concept of his world, and its implied Bills dimension felt the same way about us. They couldn’t grasp the idea of other, less flat dimensions— but Bill could. Not only did he understand the concept, he could physically SEE the other dimensions— which drove him crazy with confusion and frustration.

It’s also implied that Bill was born with physical powers others in his dimension didn’t have— for example, there’s a line in the book where he remembers being bullied in school for having the ability to conjure fire.

It’s implied that Bill tried to tell everyone about the other dimensions, but they didn’t understand. The other people of his homeworld considered him troubled and insane. There’s a poem written in code on the silly straw page of his book detailing how he was fed medicine to keep his “visions” away, but would only drink it out of a silly straw. This poem implies he was a baby at the time of taking his medicine, implying further that his powers were terrifyingly strong even from an early age. This— paired with the fact he could shoot fire from his fuckin hands— made him dangerous as a child, because (at least from what it seems) any childish outburst or tantrum could accidentally turn dangerous from his lack of understanding or being able to control the powers he was born with. He was a walking time bomb.

“Eye doctor of a different kind who wants to make his patient blind / The doctor says three sips a day will make the visions go away / Fussy eater, baby billy, wouldn’t drink unless its silly.”

(((The doctor was taking away Bills ability to see the other dimensions, rendering him somewhat blind. Bill fussed about his medicine as a child and would only drink it out of a silly straw.)))

Eventually, Bill tried to bring his world into the third dimension— or at the very least, show them it exists to prove that he wasn’t insane. It’s unclear what exactly he did to try and accomplish this— but it went wrong and started a terrible fire that left only him alive.

It’s unclear whether or not he started the fire itself on purpose or on accident, but either way its implied that he absolutely didn’t understand the permanent consequences. It’s something that deeply traumatized him. It’s blurred out of his memory, and in denial, he pretends everyone is still alive. It’s up to the reader to determine whether or not he can be forgiven for this, but out of everything Bill has done on purpose and out of malice, this doesn’t seem to be one of those things. It seems he genuinely wanted to free his family from the confinements of his dimension and to this day he still pretends that’s what he did, even if that’s not the case. The regret of his actions is something that goes on to shape his character today.

“Twisted out of shape after the kill— the ghost of his family haunting him still” (((Silly straw page)))

Bill has lied about this day on multiple occasions, and has also lied about how he feels towards it. He’s terrified to face the guilt— so he either pretends he did it on purpose and doesn’t care, pretends something or someone else did it, or pretends it didn’t happen all together.

While talking to Stanford, he calls himself a monster. This is what he truly thinks of himself. However, he pretends to be a different person than himself. His entire life past the day of his dimensions burning has been a lie of pure denial.

On top of denial, he refused and still refuses to grow up. After running off into a crumbling dimension with his “henchmaniac” friends, he started acting like a rebellious teenager. Unlike most villains with a specific intent to hurt, he went throughout the universe with the sole intention of having as much fun as possible. However, with his terrifying power and uncaring nature many casualties happened on the side. He’s guilty for them, and even finds some of them funny, but hurting people wasn’t and isn’t his MAIN intent. (At least not most of the time. He IS known to hold grudges, or dismantle someone’s face for fun, but those things aren’t part of his overall goal. Not saying they aren’t shitty, but his main intent is important to understanding his character and complexity.)

His main goal is to distract himself from his past with as much chaos as possible while also seeking attention from anyone he can get it from. He talks about Stanford and says he needs Bill to boost his ego, but really it’s the other way around. Bill considers himself a product to sell, he caters to people by using false charisma, pretending they’re the ones that need him when in reality he’s starving for their praise. He is desperate for someone to speak highly of him because his mind has nothing good to say, all the words he says out loud are compensation. He believes deep down that nobody will love him if they know who he truly is and what he’s done— and he’s not really wrong. And look! He couldn’t even admit that’s how he feels about himself so he pretends he’s giving advice! (He does this SO MANY fuckin times in the book..)

It appears in the book that the more he regrets or suffers from his past actions and traumas— the more he hurts and destroys the things and people around him as a distraction— all under the ruse of “partying”. So, in an immature attempt to absolve himself of guilt, he stacks more guilt onto his endless cycle by continuing to hurt those he loves again and again— pretending not to care but truthfully caring so much that he’d do ANYTHING to drown out the feeling. Ironically, his way of drowning out his feelings is by causing more harm. He is an endless, pitiful paradox.

It’s often misunderstood that he is a uncaring, but that’s what he WANTS you to think. That’s what he WISHES he was. His guilt and remorse doesn’t absolve him from the things he’s done, but the fact that it’s there is a GIANT and IMPORTANT part of his character. He CAN feel empathy, sympathy, sentimentality, and ESPECIALLY regret. He may be a considered a sociopath, but this doesn’t mean he’s not a person with feelings as well.

He’s so distraught over losing Stanford that he drinks himself into a state of temporary amnesia that made him fall into a ptsd episode— his memory is so bad he ends up thinking he’s talking to his mother who’s been dead for probably millions of years.

This doesn’t excuse what he did to Ford AT ALL (I felt a little sick looking at the knuckles page..) but you can’t truly understand his character without understanding that he is LYING when he is cruel to Ford. And no, just because it’s a lie/front doesn’t mean he’s absolved from saying or doing something horrible, but it DOES mean he is unique and complex.

It’s perfectly reasonable to not forgive Bill for what he did to Ford, because it’s not really forgivable— but I also think it’s fair to explore the complexities of “evil” characters. SAYING A CHARACTER REGRETS THEIR ACTIONS DOESN’T MEAN I THINK THEY DESERVE FORGIVENESS!!! Especially in Bill’s case, considering that he PRETENDS to not be sorry, which makes him terrible even if he doesn’t mean what he’s saying. He might as well not be sorry at all HOWEVER!! It’s still important to distinguish him from a sociopathic stereotype— so I have to acknowledge that he’s a little sorry anyway, even if that regret is hidden away and doesn’t help literally anyone.

He values his own comfortability over the people he loves. Meaning he’ll always be cruel instead of apologizing because even if he’s truly sorry, he can’t handle the fact that he did something wrong in the first place— He’ll just play dumb.

At the end of the day, though— Bill is much more complicated than “Guy that just wants to explode people with his mind and take over the world”— I mean yes, he’s also that— but he also has hella bad ptsd and possible other mental issues that I’m not qualified to diagnose. He has a mother who he misses and a pain he carries with him.

None of the pain he harbors will ever justify the pain he’s caused— So no, I don’t think he’s ACTUALLY forgivable (though I may joke). However, in my opinion, I do think he’s redeemable! He’s going to live (or at least be in purgatory?) for millions of more years. He already got a punishment of literal death and has the empathy (somewhere) to continue forward and start fresh. He has thousands of years to heal from his trauma and wallow in what he’s done.

The Pines family may never forgive him, but out of the child-cartoony love in their hearts they offer him not forgiveness— but live and let live. (Well, at least Mabel does.. love you sweet girl.) If he goes around them they’ll beat his ass like in weirdmaggedon, but if he stays away, they will too. At the end of the day, he’s been stopped and they’re happy. If he is alive, (((or is going to be??))) he might as well heal.

And, well.. even if you think he doesn’t deserve that somewhat happy(?) ending, a redemption arc for him has been hinted at for years. Sorry, man. Respect to you and all but like… friendship is magic and the evil demigod is gonna start working at your local wendys once he’s outa space arkham. It’s just the way kids shows go, man.

(((Edited note: I apologize for my original wording when it came to “sociopath”— I wasn’t aware of its actual medical use and I should’ve done my research on that! I’ve changed this post to be more accurate in that regard, so if old reblogs look different it’s because they’re the original version.)))