#this one is so dear and incredibly personal to me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
How the Mane Six would react if you told them you're a system!
1. Fluttershy
"I'm sorry I don't know what this is can you explain it to me? [after explaining] oh okay! I'll be sure to make sure I'll be kind to whichever one of you I meet!"
Always makes sure she's not offending you in any way, doesn't want to get anything wrong.
Wants to ask more questions because she's curious but feels it might be too invasive so just keeps her questions to herself and asks Twilight Sparkle later on.
Super kind to nonhuman and little alters and acts as a caretaker.
2. Rainbow Dash
"Oh no way! You really have all that stuff happen in your head? Can I talk to them too?"
Doesn't really understand much about systems but is very interested whenever you talk about it.
Whenever any of your alters talk to her she gets so incredibly excited about it and talks to them eagerly.
Sometimes gets things wrong on purpose just so you can correct her and explain more about being a system.
3. Pinkie Pie
"WAIT OH MY GOD DID YOU ENTER THE MIRROR POOL TOO? DID YOU GUYS DESTROY THE TOWN???"
Is convinced that she has the same experience as you and she knows what it's like to be a system. (Maybe she does?)
Doesn't really understand but her heart is in the right place.
She's encouraged your alters to go into the mirror pool to get separate bodies on several occasions.
Screams at anyone who is mean to you and is very protective over you.
4. Applejack
"Sugar I really don't understand what you're talking about, but I'll help in any way I can"
Makes you feel extremely comfortable even though she doesn't completely understand.
Never judges any alters that you split and treats them all as equals and how she treats you.
Stands by your side whenever other people are making you uncomfortable, ready to defend you as soon as you want her too.
5. Twilight Sparkle
"Oh Dissociative Identity Disorder! I've read about this in one of my books! Let me know what I can do to help!"
Has asked you to take part in several experiments so that she can write her on paper on DID.
Whenever you vent about being a system to her you notice she's got a notebook and she's furiously scribbling down notes.
You always feel so reassured while around Twilight she genuinely cares about your system a lot.
6. Rarity
"So my dear, each of you have different personalities? So I can make a different outfit for each alter?"
Made different dresses and outfits for each of your alters that encompassed their personalities and made them feel comfortable.
Doesn't ever pry about system stuff and just treats all your alters as individuals.
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE PONY PERSPECTIVES!!!!!
[IMAGE ID: ponyville is a (pro) endo free zone break dni and get blocked loser! END ID]
#my little pony#did system#did#endos dni#did osdd#actually did#system#actually plural#osdd system#osdd#syspunk#systempunk#pluralpunk#cdd#cdd system#cdd community#polyfrag
43 notes
·
View notes
Note
I just want to get over this. Like why am I still so sad about that how many weeks later? But I am. And I also want to hold out hope but maybe it’s better to quit because the not knowing for sure and just being sad all the time is a lot.
Hi, @phillystrega! Thanks for your ask <3
Listen, I fully get it. Real talk here, I spent a solid week with constant anxiety after 806 - granted, it wasn't just because of 911, it was sort of the straw that broke the camel's back after a lot of shit had happened in the world and my personal life, so.
At the end of the day, 911 was supposed to be our comfort show. And I think, having something like this happen, seeing everything that has happened before, has made it so it stopped being that, and that's bound to hurt.
Your feelings are normal. It was more than a couple we liked breaking up - in context, sure, but also in what meant right after. I said it right after - it truly felt like they responded to the love we tried to send into the world with hate, and they responded to hate from that side of the fandom with love.
It wasn't entirely like that. But at the time it very much felt like that. And it's normal to still be dealing with feelings surrounding that.
Here is my advice (feel free to not take it if it's shit lol):
Focus on life in the fandom if it's fun for you. The BuckTommy fandom truly helped me process my feelings and channel them toward something more positive. Talk to people, be creative, see everyone's art and posts... it truly is healing.
Block anything that threatens your peace of mind. That being accounts, hashtags, or even keywords, so you don't find it in your dash.
Go back to your comfort shows if you have any, or try to find a new one if you feel you need to latch onto a new one. I'm here if you want suggestions. No joke, binge-watching Modern Family made me feel incredibly better.
If you have a hobby, dedicate some time to it. Or try a new one if you want. I had to embroid a tote bag for one of my best friend's birthday and honestly, it truly helped. So much so I want to do some embroidery as Christmas ornaments - we'll see how that works lmao (I sound 60 when I'm mid-twenties, dear God).
All of this will slowly take you out of this mentality, mostly because you will focus on other things. I realized I was focusing too much on how all of this was making me feel - and as much as it's healthy to face our feelings and know where they come from, we don't want to fall into a cycle, or drown in them.
After all of this, with a bit more perspective, maybe it's easier to make the decision of either continue, or move on. You can also stay in the fandom and enjoy it with no expectations, maybe check every once in a while how canon is doing. And if at some point you decide it's worth checking again, you can do it. And if you decide to fully move on, that will also be okay. Overall - protect your peace.
This was very long, but I truly hope it helped you, even if it was a little.
My inbox is always open to rant, vent, or discuss (911 or whatever you want).
Take care <3
#bucktommy#tevan#we're all in this together#yes that's a high school musical reference#but seriously: here to listen if you need it 🫶🏼#phillystrega ❣️
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
COMFORTABLE
Continuation of [this one] ! Yeah, the tone shifted because... Because.
This is what I really wished that happened to me in a similar experience years ago. But it didn't. At all.
Now I can go back, reflect on it, learn and... talk about it. It still stings but the lesson is greater to let it hide behind my heart. I deserved comfort.
We all deserve comfort.
So, I will keep writing in this way now and then ♥.
#myart#transformers animated#tfa prowl#tfa bulkhead#prowlbulk#bulkprowl#that moment when the script makes you constantly stop and stare long and hard to the canvas#this one is so dear and incredibly personal to me#i cant believe once more i cried over the canvas#and i just-- if this isnt catharsis im the foolest of fools#theres still a long road to walk but im better than ever#i was about to put the rest of the text under the cut but FRICK IT#I TELL MY STORIES AND MY PERSONAL STORY because its my main muse#im my own muse pff#maccadam#ifellinrobothellagain#windydrawallday fanart#shipping to the moon and back
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you like sci-fi and indie animation? Check out Monkey Wrench!
#monkey wrench#digital art#This series is very delightful and also in need of more attention!#Usually I would ramble about why love it - however I am going to go a little off the rails and talk about something else.#Namely that this is a gift for a very dear friend who loves this series a lot! One of my favourite people of all time!#Thank you for so many things. For keeping me going when times are dark. For sticking by in the hard times.#Thank you for the incredible soup and the fun moments! For the great recommendations on series.#I sometimes feel like I should thank the universe for letting our paths cross when they did.#It feels cheesy to say all this but I really am such a better person because of you.#Thank you for reading all my silly comics even though you have *no* idea what is going on in them. It means a lot.#My gift of a silly doodle and hopefully getting a few people to check out this show is not adequate to express my gratitude.#But hey - we've got the rest of our lives to keep saying thank you.#Love you lots mate. Can't say it enough B'*)
938 notes
·
View notes
Text
Retired happy Junmei for no reason at all except let them be happy post-canon that's all.
#junmei#jun wu#mei nianqing#mxtx tgcf#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#shoutout to the sj server for one person (u know who u r) suggesting mnq has one (1) black strand holding on for dear life#and they're right cause that's incredibly funny#i just imagine this dude has had so much stress in his 2k+ years life that he could not keep his hair NOT white#Running away and stressing about JW probably did a good job on him as well living thru JW growing up#And then Xie Lian??? Final nail in the coffin#you cannot tell me this sassy child/teen did not absolutely cause him to develop more grey/white hairs#and at some point he figured he might as well stop fighting it#but that's my silly hc and you don't have to agree lmao#just noticed now JW and MNQ have like swapped hair color patterns nice#anyway I have more junmei wips but it's on a giant stash of Shit To Render sooooo it may be a while#wanted to finish this and another piece for junmeiweek but alas we're REALLY late
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is going to sound really fucked up but i just need to say it i think.
I never realized that people could actually care. I always thought that the depictions of friendship in movies and TV shows were over-the-top portrayals, and weren't things that actually happened. This was then exacerbated by the fact that my entire life I always wanted people to just Know How I Was Feeling like they do on TV and I found out that that's Not How It Works. I always thought I was naive for caring so much about my friends and for doing nice things for them out of the blue, and I always resented myself for resenting my parents for not doing more for me as a child.
So when I got to uni, and my friends started caring about me and asking if I was ok when I looked sad and doing nice things for me, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me in a long time. When I was staying with a friend, and she said that she left the window open in the room I was going to be staying in because I liked it to be cold when i sleep, I bluescreened. I didn't know how to respond. It is quite literally one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me. No one had ever paid that much attention to the things I liked. Every year on my birthday it was either a gamble if I would get something I actually wanted from my parents (spoiler alert: I was often disappointed) or I would just have to straight up tell them what I wanted. I got accustomed to the latter, and now I don't mind, but receiving two gifts from friends about languages this year made me realize that I could have it so much better.
And don't even get me started on online friends. I sort of thought that everyone was lying about them? Or that it was something unattainable, and reserved only for God's Chosen Favorites or something. But no, there are little people in my phone who care about me. They legitimately care about me as much as I care about them. I've been nervous to ask them about their well-being because I'm still nervous about being naive and getting a wake-up call that no one cares again, but after being told that they were worried about me when I overslept, I think i should know that I'm in the clear. And that's not even including all the times they tell me to go to bed when it's late, and when they ping me about things I may enjoy or things I was involved in.
All this is to say I guess that I'm touched that people remember my existence. It makes me feel good to be wanted. I will be eternally grateful to both my irl and online friends who made me realize that just because my parents or my friends from home didn't care enough to remember what I like or to go out of their way to do nice things for me, it doesn't mean that no one will. I need to step up and do more for you guys. I trained myself to push down my desire to help and check in with people because I thought I was betting on something that I'd never get in return, but now I know I can.
Thank you all, and I love you 💚
#uf this is a long one sorry 😅#i put it under a cut so it wont clog up your dash#btw if you are an online friend and you do something nice for me#what you arent seeing is me squealing and crying and bluescreening before giving your message a heart emoji and possibly the 🥹 emoji#the 🥹 emoji to me is a dear friend#🥹 to me in the context of accepting nice things means that im basically already crying#i am so incredibly appreciative of you all#i will not stop saying it#and i need to say it more to my irls faces#if you know me irl and you see this expect me to tell you very soon that i fucking love you#and if youre an online friend and you have vagueposted about something happening to you since ive met you#you may or may not get a message about it (depending on how chicken i am) because i fucking care about your well-being goddamnit#idk idk idk i just#it still amazes me that this isnt fake#that you actually care#i keep thinking that ill say something wrong or whatever and ill lose it all#but in the back of my mind i know that isnt true#i should probably be telling all this to a therapist but therapy is expensive and posting online is free#there was something else i wanted to say but i forgor so ill edit and add it when i rember#ok to rb#long post#personal
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
hm.
#been feeling very irritable and negative lately to the point where ive been catching myself getting really frustrated with my dear friends#like i just saw something a friend said and i literally went 'oh my god who gives a fuck' out loud under my breath#and i feel incredibly guilty about it#choosing to blame academia but it literally makes me wanna cry. like i feel like a terrible person and friend#and before you ask. yes i ate yes i had a full nights sleep yes i left my room today yes im drinking water#and its still happening#idk i just cant stop complaining and feeling so DONE with everyone#i just. really thought i was getting better :/#oh well. i guess#ugh i just. UGH last night i talked so much shit about truly one of my closest friends. and its like okay they kinda deserved it#because what they did was shitty#but im literally perpetuating my own worst fear. which is being secretly disliked by those closest to me#:((( AGH.#diary
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
for years my friends have tried to get me back into minecraft and idk how to explain to them that after tosoth the game will never be the same . it’s been A DECADE and this fic still rules over my brain
#and don’t even TALK about snow angels around me i’ll cry blood and vomit tears#that fic gave me SO many trust issues i hve TO THIS DAY#and i KNOW ive ranted about this before but IT GENUINELY TRAUMATISED ME#but i was at one of the lowest points of my life and decided fuck it. i’m gonna read a long fic. i’m usually a max 25k person but i was like#nah let’s get invested in this one. good ol erisol human au. what could go wrong#oh dear reader it turns out that there was something that could go wrong#because at tht time i was an avid ff net user and there are no warnings there#especially not for major character death.#so i’m so invested in this fic#got a few chapters left. and then i start a chapter i swear ive read before in a one shot#and i’m over the MOON bc i know how this ends. they get engaged! so i’m SO fkn happy#and then. all alone in the snow of their front yard. eridans heart gives out. and he’s gone.#as a very traumatised teen who was dependant on happy endings to make me feel like life was worth living#i have never felt heartbreak and betrayal like that. only other thing that ever made me feel that much was my really messy breakup w da loml#i didnt sleep for a week. i was constantly sobbing and breaking down at school#reading about sollux going through their minecraft world and i just#yeah.#haven’t been able to make pancakes since too. used to be the thing i was best at#since then pancakes minecraft and snow angels are forever tainted#absolutely INCREDIBLE fic but i do Not do MCD or sad endings#and i was like being horrifically abused going thru hormonal conversion therapy to ‘fix’ my nonexistent sex drive#whilst dealing with r/pe accusations simultaneously . as a fkn 16 year old baby trans gay ace#so i was going thru it and when i tell you my ENTIRE mental state was depending on the dopamine i got from fan fictions w endings that#gave me hope my story wasn’t gonna end there. for them to struggle for so long to find true happiness within eachother#to them being torn apart by the cruel hand of death#bro i was inconsolable for so long . i still am and im almost 26 LMFAO#know it seems so silly to be so worked up over this but i can’t articulate how much my undiagnosed autistic bpd cptsd ridden self depended#on these fics to emotionally regulate#OBV THIS IS NOTHING AGAINST THE AUTHOR OR THE FIC I WAS JUST YOUNG AND TRAUMATISED AND COPING UNHEALTHILY#but i will never be able to play minecraft happily ever again
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
if you bring your loud child to the library please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD take them to the youth department!!!! PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU ON MY HANDS AND KNEES
#there are times and places where children should not be allowed to scream#and one example is in the adult department of the library at literally any time of day#we have youth department for a reason#if you do not need to be in the adult department with your child THEN DON’T BE#people come here to work and study in a quiet environment#they do not come here to listen to you play trucks with your screaming toddler#use the designated area for that#i am not trying to be rude but dear god it shouldn’t be this hard to figure out#we encourage being loud and playing and having fun IN THE APPROPRIATE AREAS#the adult department is not the appropriate area#please i am begging you to be aware of your surroundings and considerate of others#and the part that really bugs me about this is that i’m not allowed to ask them to relocate unless a patron has made a complaint to me#but of course no one ever makes a complaint even if they want to bc they don’t wanna sound mean#and my own personal inability to get MY work done doesn’t count as a valid concern apparently#god. it’s so incredibly frustrating that people are so inconsiderate#i have nothing against children!! but there are designated areas in the library specifically for children to be loud in#it’s not that hard to just use them#ok rant over sorry#anya.txt
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Start ID. Two drawings of the same person, humanoid but with honey bee wings, antennae, and miscellaneous other traits. The first one was drawn December 25, 2020, two years ago, and the second is a redraw from just before the time of posting. In the first drawing, the person faces the camera, holding a cup of tea, posed against a blank background. She wears a fluffy top and boots, her entire character in golden tones. The second drawing keeps similarities with the first, but her vague outfit has been changed to a jacket and sweatpants, and she is waving to the viewer and smiling warmly, with the text "TWO YEARS" behind her in green. End ID)
Happy second anniversary-slash birthday, both to my first piece of digital art ever and to a beloved character and world.
(And thanks @ameliejoyart for making it happen. <3)
#i know no one cares about original work but i am! emotional about this!!#very incredibly normal about this!!#i've come so far as an artist and maybe even as a person in these two years#and tonpterus... my favorite worldbuilding project turned something so dear to my heart#it. it matters to me.#bugs#tonpterus#cocoa#peridots-art#...well. not much of a rant as i usually have locked and loaded to shove into the tags#but goodbye anyway fair tag-wanderer. may you make something you'll love for years to come and may you appreciate how far you've come
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Went to Pride today!!!
#Cincinnati Pride#Cinci Pride 2023#Sorry if the video's a little fast my mom cobbled it together kdjfjkdjfk#There were a LOT of cool people at Pride!!!!#I didn't get any pictures with anyone this year because I AM a coward and will continue to be one#But I saw like 6 furries at least two of which had the FULL Fursuit#So incredibly powerful I could NEVER#I am in awe at you#There was this one with a cool skeleton mask with a moving moth who I was hyping myself up to ask for a picture of#(never did)#When this person came out of nowhere like 'Hey do you want a frog?'#AND HANDED ME??? A CROCHET PANSEXUAL FROG???#WITH A LITTLE PIN????#AND A BIG PIN FOR ME TO MATCH HIM LITTLE PIN??????#AND HELLO WHOEVER YOU WERE I AM STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU#I looked up the Etsy shop on the Cardboard the pin came too and it's inactive#and my dear sweet mother master of being Nosy on the internet#Then found an Instagram and a TikTok by the same artist#but they both haven't been active sense May...#Sad#But STILL!!!! FROG!!!!#God I only talked about the cool furries gfkdsjgfkdjg#The Drag Queens were amazing as ALWAYS even the branded ones#And there were a BUNCH of people in really cool and cute outfits too many to really go too long#There was a cool wizard who told me they liked my outfit (thankyou)#And a VERY pretty Fairy who stood across from my People Watching spot for a long time who I never got the nerve to talk to#Zayne love darling come to Pride with me soon PLEASE I need your Extrovert powers#I got a few compliments on my outfit which was great thankyou I made it myself#It was a great time!!!!!!!#One year I'll get the nerve to actually talk to people during pride!!! Hopefully!!!!!! SOME DAY!!!!!!
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
listen I like wolf like me as much as anybody but it drives me CRAZY that I never see anybody talking about like literally any other TV On the Radio song. maybe I need to actually get into some kind of music circle or something but honestly my impulse is to just submerge myself in their sound alone & enrich myself
#i found Dear Science & Return to Cookie Mountain during maybe the worst of my teen years & idk if i would be the same person if i hadn't#not even sure if i'd be here#incredible incredible art#irritates me so bad to only see the one song pasted onto fandom stuff!! i have my suspicions as to why this happens & it sucks!!#anyway i'm stoned & kvetching your takeaway from this post should be Go Listen to TV On the Radio NEOW 🫵#dial p for post#thank you music
1 note
·
View note
Note
You have requested for me to talk to you about Dawko and, you shall receive.
I found this tier list of Dawko songs and I think you'd enjoy it too (and bc I like sharing opinions)
I edited it bc regular letter tiers would no work for me
Sadly I can't put the link but just search up something like "ranking dawko songs" and the list will show up
yippee!!! :D
here's my tier list!! i couldn't find the exact one you used but i found one that had a couple extras so i used that one! (i had to add behind the mask as an option myself lol) i also customized my tiers as well! ignore the light blue tier i was trying to be funny and i wrote a bit too much lol
#rys.txt#rys answers#this was really fun!! :D#i'd like to say that “hit that yoinky sploinky” and “defending these forever” are about the same tier in terms of how much i like the songs#but i wanted a separate tier specifically to highlight the ones i think are underrated/underappreciated#“hit that yoinky sploinky” is specifically songs that i be busting a move to when i listen to them#and those two tiers are only slightly below the peak tier#that being said i don't think make your move is really underrated but its very personally important to me so i thought it deserved that tie#now on dear brother. i haven't listened to it in a while but from what i remember. it's old and you can tell lol. its a bit rough#but i really do think that if they remade it now with all the musical experience they've gained since then it would actually be incredible#like i can see the potential there. it could work#also idk what happened to the text in the bottom tier it just kept formatting it like that and i couldn't fix it#but yeah. let me out grabbed me by the shirt collar and flung me through several walls when i first heard it so i think it deserves 1st#lonely freddy is genuinely so beautiful and incredible and the build up is so intense and fantastic i love it so much#and i am a very big make me a hero fan. i think its genuinely a fantastic song but also i love glamrock dawko as a character so much#(especially my au version of him 🥺)#so it just really gets me because of that too lol
1 note
·
View note
Text
if you'll allow me to flaunt my psych minor for a second, I'd like to talk about epigenetics. there's studies that show that if you shock a rat when you let them taste a certain flavor, they will immediately become averse to that flavor. not surprising. what is surprising is that the rat's grandchildren, who have never been shocked when given that flavor, will also be averse to it and afraid of it and avoid it. there's also correlational evidence to suggest that the descendants of people who suffered through famine are more likely to put on weight and keep it on easier, even if they have never been through a famine themself.
trauma gets passed down. the kinds of trauma your parents, grandparents, and so-on lived through is still living in you. even if your parents were the most well-off, loving, best parents in the world, their trauma is still in you.
now if you'll allow me to take a slight turn here: there's a wild rabbit inside every jew.
my dad grew up being called "jew-boy." my mother had a coworker throw pennies at her at her job in the 2010s. and that's just two examples. they both grew up being harassed for being jewish. I wasn't. I'm incredibly lucky. the amount of antisemitism I've experienced in real life has been incredibly minimal. I didn't even hear anyone make an antisemitic joke in front of me until college.
and none of us were seriously persecuted. none of my grandparents were seriously persecuted. but even though nobody's broken my windows, nobody's beaten me in the streets, and I haven't been at any of those horrible protests in person, the fear is there. this deep seated, blood-pumping fear of the ancient jewish rabbit in me telling me to run. to run for dear life, to run as far as my legs can get me, as long as my heart keeps pumping and my lungs keep breathing.
we all feel this.
everyone feels this.
I called my mother yesterday. when I brought up this feeling she paused, and the silence said everything. she told me I wasn't alone. she feels it. my dad feels it. my brother feels it. my nana and grampa feel it. every jew you know, online, in real life, hell, even the famous ones, they feel it. the rabbit is inside us all, and the rabbit knows, because its brothers who didn't flee in the past were slaughtered.
the rabbit is leaping around my chest, all of our chests, chanting run run run run run run run.
I don't know if I can explain it to gentiles. I don't know if this makes sense to you. I don't know how to get across how crystal clear and deep and primal this fear is, and how much all of us are feeling the exact same fear, despite our different lives and different histories and the fact we're different people.
part of me wishes it didn't matter. that I didn't feel like I needed to get goyim to understand my specific cultural and ethnic experiences. because I don't feel like I need to deeply understand everyone else's. I am a white passing ashkenazi american jew, and I will never fully understand what it is like to be anything else. that doesn't dissolve my responsibility to educate myself and practice empathy, but it's ok. idk, maybe other people do desperately wish they could get people not in their specific group to deeply understand what it's like to be them. I imagine that feeling is universal. I guess, it's just like, the left is unified that everyone is a person, everyone is equal, everyone is human, except the jews. nobody is left out but the jews. everyone's word is believed, but the jews. and it makes me feel like I have to beg and plead with people to understand what being jewish means, because we're not included with everyone else. we're the enemy. and I want people to see we're not the enemy.
epigenetics.
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
Jealous sex with Charles 🤩
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐜𝐥. 𝟏𝟔
summary: there’s no reason for charles to be jealous of men who are stupid enough to think they have a chance with you. content warning: 18+ only. mdni. explicit sexual content. jealous sex. tennis. monte carlo masters winner stefanos tsitsipas used as a plot device. porn with a side of plot. mildly possesive!charles leclerc. jealousy. reader’s kindness is misunderstood for flirting. no infidelity. vaginal sex. unprotected sex(don’t do that!). fingering. missionary & cowgirl. rough(ish?) sex. the clothes stay on. uhm, reader gets railed stupid, lowkey. cumplay (i’m so sorry). pairing: charles leclerc x fem!bpoc!reader word count: 2.8k words.
from serene: surprised i finished this when i said i would. to make a long story short, i’m breaking up with my boyfriend 🤪✌🏽ANYWAYS, i listened to the beauty behind the madness and my dear melancholy albums by the weekend to lock in the smexxy vibes. idk if it worked, it took me two days to write less than 3k words 🙂 y’all lmk if you think the wait was worth it, and enjoy reading lovelies x
⌕ join taglist | requests & feedback | table of contents ↻
The car ride home was quiet. You figured it was post-tennis exhaustion keeping your boyfriend quiet; the entire match was viewed with the Monte Carlo sun radiating down on the stands. Secondarily, the silence could’ve been induced by a little social exhaustion even though Charles thrives in crowds—the two of you spent a couple of hours before the match chatting to anyone who approached him, which felt like every person at the event had to have his attention for a brief moment. Then after the match, the two of you spent another hour speaking with the Master’s Winner, Stefanos, and the Prince, before you were able to take your exit.
So, you attributed his low energy to being sun-tired and talked-out. In retrospect, you should’ve known that it was more than fatigue from how Charles failed to put his hand on your thigh as he drove, and how he sat through slow-crawling traffic without ever moving to turn on music or talk. Your weariness prevented you from prodding further when the Monegasque responded with a nearly inaudible hum when asked if he was tired—the lack of presence in his answer felt like confirmation.
Yet, you realize it wasn’t an answer at all when you entered your home.
Your comments and questions about the match and dinner plans were met with one-word answers and off-timed hums of indifference in response. It’s not until the two of you are in your bedroom getting unready that Charles speaks more than a single word.
“Stefanos was nice, wasn’t he?”
You pause in your action of taking off an earring, a puzzled tilt to your brow at the odd tone his words took, eyes examining him in the reflection of your vanity’s mirror. He stares down at his forearm as he unclasps his watch, his expression unreadable from his side profile.
“Yes…he was,” you answer slowly, your confusion growing as you see Charles’ jaw clench, “I didn’t imagine him to be so, normal, I guess? After winning the Monte Carlo Masters, of all things. And, he’s done it three times! I mean, that’s incredible, no? For him to be so friendly and relaxed after was nice, I think.”
You rambled endlessly, the feeling that you’ve talked yourself into a corner flaring at the base of your skull. Charles turned to face you fully, shrugging his suit jacket off and calmly placing it on top of the dresser, rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt before he leaned to rest against the furniture as well.
“Ah,” the hair on the nape of your neck rises at the sound, you continue to remove your necklaces with hesitant fingers, “Did he charm you into being your favorite tennis player today, mon amour?”
A humorous scoff escapes your lips, “You know I’m not a fan of tennis. But, if there happens to be a match playing within my view, and he’s playing, I suppose I would want him to win. I wouldn’t say I was ‘charmed,’ I just think he’s a nice man.”
“I think you were too nice to him.”
You slowly place your diamond-studded, golden tennis chain away before your eyes flicker back to meet Charles’ in the reflection of the mirror. You raise a brow, unsure how to respond to his statement. Intelligently, you’ve deduced that he’s jealous, which is odd—considering he’s Charles Leclerc, the prettiest, sweetest, and kindest man on the face of the Earth, in your humble opinion. Stefanos doesn’t hold a candle compared to your boyfriend. Your fingers struggle to undo the clasp of your final necklace; the gold, diamond-paved, Cartier necklace with Charles’ name carved on the back—it was expensive enough that he refused to tell you the price when he gifted it, only saying that “the cost was nothing compared to the love he has for you,” the smooth-talker.
“Arrête,” he speaks firmly, pushing off the dresser and making his way towards you, his dress shoes clicking on the floor sending your heartbeat racing. He stops mere centimeters behind you, the heat of his body radiating against your back.
“Leave it on,” he murmurs, darkened eyes running over your form in the mirror indulgently.
You do as he says, arms shakily lowering to rest at your sides, fingers tugging at the hem of your sundress as your heart skips and body flushes with heat. The Monegasque reaches around you to center the necklace on your clavicle, the sensation of his fingertips barely ghosting across your brown skin has your mouth parting with an inaudible gasp.
“If only he knew that you wear my name locked around your neck,” the brunette pondered aloud, “Maybe then he would remember that your pretty eyes, sweet giggles, and flirty words are for me—since you seemed to forget.”
“I was not f-flirting with him!” You stutter over the word as if it were an insult.
“You were not,” Charles sounds like he agrees, “But, you know very well that people mistake your kindness as more than that. It’s happened before, no?”
It has happened before. More than you can count. The number of men who mistake politeness and your overall niceness for interest is frightening; you don’t want anybody but Charles.
“What was I supposed to say to Stefanos? Nothing? Should I have just ignored him? And stood at your side quietly like I was just there for decoration?” Your tone peaks with annoyance, heated at the idea of being reduced to an accessory.
“No,” his voice cuts through your train of thought, “You should’ve agreed with me when I mentioned we needed to leave after he said ‘the only thing he’s missing to celebrate is a beautiful woman’ as he stared directly at you—instead of forcing me to stay for another twenty minutes to talk.”
Your mouth drops open disbelievingly, a scoff following a few moments later when you slowly realize that Stefanos wasn’t interested in being set up with one of your friends as he asked. You should’ve known when he asked if you had a twin sister he could meet.
“Okay, in hindsight, I can see that he was flirting,” you clarify, “But, I definitely was not. You know in that entire conversation, I was just being polite—and I made you stay for longer because the Prince wanted to talk to you. Not because I was entertaining a man who doesn’t respect my relationship with you!”
“You were being polite when he kissed your hand?”
“Yes! I thought that was just him laying it on thick?”
“He’s not royalty,” Charles snorts, “The only person allowed to put their lips on you is me.”
“You keep talking about who’s ‘allowed’ to do anything to me and you’ll very quickly find out that I’m ‘allowed’ to reconsider this relationship if you continue speaking about me as if you own me.”
“I don’t own you,” Charles pauses, and a smile spreads across his lips, dimples deepening in his cheeks, nearly forcing you to forget your previous statement as you admire them in the vanity mirror, “But—you own me.”
You turn around quickly at the words, breath stuttering at the lack of space between you two. Tilting your head upwards, you examine your boyfriend’s face with narrowed eyes and cheeks burning so hot the red flush is apparent. His smile has softened to a smirk, his eyebrows laced with a smug undertone, his pupils blown wide enough for you to have to focus to see the green ring around them. You languidly raise a hand to trace a finger across the edge of his jawline, then cupping your hand along the side of his face, gently resting your thumb in the indent of his dimple. Your chest tightens when Charles leans into your palm, slowly shifting to press a kiss on your wrist before nudging you back to holding his face.
Sighing gently, you shake your head, “What do you want from me?”
“Je veux que tu me laisses baiser ma jalousie sur toi, s'il te plaît.”
“S-say it slower please,” you request meekly, “I think I heard you wrong.”
“I want you to let me fuck my jealousy out,” Charles emphasizes each word slowly, his tone becoming teasing as he sees you fluster with each added syllable, “Ple–”
Your lips meet his desperately, your other hand flying upwards to grasp at his shoulder when you feel his laughter through the kiss. You’re sure his amusement is multiplied as you try to dominate the kiss, even as you rise on the tips of your toes and arch your body towards his. Needily, you whine into his mouth as he refuses to meet your rushed rhythm, digging your nails into the meat of his broad shoulders to convey your urgency.
The Monegasques’ hold on your waist turns rough and you pull backward with a gasp when he pinches the skin of your arm. You glower at him in displeasure but it’s quick to fade as he guides you back to his lips with a heavy hand on the nape of your neck. His thumb and pointer finger are weighted from their position at the base of your skull, directing the tilt and movement of your head as he licks into your mouth and bruises your swollen lips further with pressure and stings of teeth.
He walks himself backward, one hand firm on your hip to guide you with him, the other rucking up the skirt of your sundress and sliding underneath to tug your panties down your legs with ease. You kick the fabric off your ankles distractedly, falling to straddle Charles’ lap as soon as he sits on the edge of the bed. His hand slips between the cradle of your thighs, cupping along your warmth and toying within your folds.
“Wet for me already,” he discovers delightedly, breaking the kiss to suck a mark into the sensitive skin behind your left ear and peppering more nips and teases of teeth down the stretch of your neck. Hisses of pleasure slip from your parted lips and you slant your hips forward to guide Charles’ fingers inside. You exhale breathily at the slide of a single finger in your cunt, rolling down onto his hand when you deem his pace too slow.
“Another, please,” you beg, moaning throatily when your boyfriend fulfills your plea without hesitation.
Two fingers turn into three, and three fingers turn into Charles flipping you over and pushing you into the bed so he can hover over you. With rushed hands, you both shove the zipper of his slacks and the hem of his briefs low for him to slip his cock out and press into you. The brunette shudders as he sinks within your depths, falling to his elbows, your moans and gasps of breath spilling into the same pocket of air when his hips rest against the back of your thighs.
“M-move, please, Cha,” you cry, knees pressing into his sides and body rolling upwards to get a glimpse of friction during his stillness.
Charles drops his head to quiet you with a chaste kiss before matching the rhythm of your rocking hips, his rumbling groans quieted by your lips. He holds himself steady on one arm while he uses the other to reach above your head and drag a pillow downwards, tapping your ass briefly to wordlessly command you into rising upwards as he slips the cushion underneath you. As soon as the pillow is properly positioned, Charles’ slow grinds are exchanged for slamming thrusts, sharp flares of pain-dipped pleasure shooting up your spine and tightening the knot in your navel. Your breath is lost quickly and you struggle to recover, eyes screwing shut and exhales of expletives and whimpers of encouragement are all you can offer.
The Monegasque roughly slides his hand down your leg and grasps you by the ankle digging into the small of his back to keep him close, moving it to rest over his shoulder, and letting his hand fall to squeeze at your thigh for purchase as the change of position tightens the fluttering channel of your cunt around him. This angle feels like he’s digging deeper inside you; one of your hands scrambling to drag your nails down his toned back while the other fists in his hair as you shriek high-pitched into the heated air between your bodies.
“All mine,” you can feel the possessive lilt to his tone rumble through the thin skin of your throat as he sucks along the rapid beat of your pulse. Your nails decorate his back with red scores and it has Charles biting out sharp putain’s and rabbiting his cock into you forcefully, yet remaining conscious enough to realign his thrusts as he bullies his way inside of you to pound against your g-spot. His leaned forward position stretches the limits of your comfortable flexibility, but it allows his pelvis to barely scrape against your clit, sending a wave of overstimulating pleasure to your brain, your eyes rolling as the sensation knocks any form of rational thought from your brain.
He pauses to tug the front of your dress down, the hem tucked under the spill of your breasts. His fingers flick teasingly over a pebbled nipple while he folds himself lower to drag his tongue against the other and nip small marks around your areola. You fight against the assault on your chest; arching your back towards and away from him—chasing and running away from the pleasure simultaneously, yet you continue to grind onto his cock.
“Charles, f-fuck, lemme–uhuh—lemme ride ‘ou,” you whine out incoherently, pushing at his shoulder with a closed fist, hoping he’ll understand your slurred words as your tongue begins to feel heavy.
Your boyfriend pulls away from your breasts in question, panting roughly as he stares up at you to see a pure look of want in your dampened eyes, lashes clumped together and brown skin flushing deeper when the eye contact is held unendingly. You know that Charles debated denying your request, or at least thought about making you beg for it, but he decides to kneel and drag you upwards into his lap without a fight. He allows you a brief respite to adjust your legs and anchor your arms over his shoulders, then tightens the hold of his hands on your waist, fingertips sure to leave indents as he assists your first upward motion, before solidly dragging you back down.
The strength you regained in your legs from the short break disappears, knees weakening and body slumping into Charles’ chest, your head drooping to rest in the crook of his neck.
Charles steadies your head and tilts you back gently, checking in, “Is this too much, mon amour? We can stop.”
“No,” you murmur, “You fucked the feeling out of my legs, Cha.”
He laughs warmly, situating his hands on your ass to direct your motions, the tone of his voice light as he coos, “‘s okay, mon coeur—I’ll do all the work.”
You brush your nose along his, moaning softly at the sweetened drag of his cock. Charles chases your bitten lips, groaning lowly as he deepens his thrusts, fingers dipping to circle your clit—always ensuring your release is prioritized. Your thighs begin to shake and his thrusts skip beats as he begins to near the precipice as well. Shuddering, you gasp into his mouth, attempting to alert him to your nearing orgasm but you’re unable to speak the words.
“It’s okay, mon amour,” your boyfriend soothes, “Cum for me—I’ve got you.”
“yesyesyes,” you babble mindlessly, Charles continuing to pound into you, not slowing the search for his release now that you’re orgasm is imminent. A few well-angled jabs of your g-spot and you’re gone; release frying your nerve endings and vision blurring as your boyfriend continues to ride your high to its very end.
The Monegasque pulls out the moment your hips fight his hold, dropping his hand drenched with your pleasure from your clit to grab his cock, and with one stroke, he spills. Charles paints your navel and inner thighs white with whimpering moans, and lilted French. He milks himself into over-sensitivity, only stopping when the orgasmic relief shifts into pain. He kisses you on the cheek as he drags a finger through his cum pooled between your thighs. His hand rises to your mouth and he hums approvingly as your lips part and suckle his spend clean off.
“Hm,” Charles sounds, staring down at the claim he’s spilled, his free hand rubbing his cum along your navel, “All mine.”
© httpsserene2024
#f1 x reader#f1 smut#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x black!reader#f1 x black!reader#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc fanfic#f1 x female reader#charles leclerc x female reader#f1 x you#serene’s chapters.#⋆⭒˚。⋆. series special: formula 1#♡ ༘*.゚ love interest: cl.
1K notes
·
View notes